Love and its Place in Magic
It’s commonly thought in the Wiccan world (and sometimes in the overall Pagan world, but not necessarily) that love spells are a definite NO. This is nearly the first rule that everyone is taught when he or she show and interest in spells or magic. Many of us stick our noses in the air at the idea and say ‘No, no, no, heavens, no. How could you be so immature to even THINK of such a thing? That bends free will!’ And from the moment we read it in a book or hear it from an elder, we assume it is so and that this message should be shared with any ‘newbie’ to neo-paganism, so we in turn being to spread the word.
And at the risk of being eaten alive, I’m going to challenge that message.
Here’s the thing, though – I have brought this topic up a lot. With my non-Pagan Mom, with Pagan communities, with very ‘Morally Strong’ Wiccan communities, with teens, Pagan shopkeepers and many others. And this is a very sensitive topic on all levels. This is because manipulating someone feelings with magic open everyone involved up to physical and spiritual damage. But what we need to realize is that there isn’t just one kind of spell. And there are countless kinds of love. So, in reality, “love Spell” constitutes a lot of things – and never should we assume someone honestly asking is only going to use the manipulative manner of love spells; nor should we challenge what they feel or how authentic their feelings are.
That and, if you can’t handle someone under 18 talk about love and magic without acting ‘holier than thou’, read no further.
The first thing that we assume when we hear love spell is that the spell involved with make someone of your choice fall in love with you. But what if this isn’t so?
The power of spells lies within ourselves. If your thoughts and your will cannot muster enough power for a spell, then neither will roses and red candles. If your intentions are pure and your will is strong, only then with ritual tools power your spell. So why is it, then, that if someone requests information on love spells, we shout them out of our Pagan chat rooms and leave them with harmful and manipulative thoughts in their mind? The thought is more powerful than the spell at such a point. We have countless thoughts every day. So why do we steer everyone away from love spells, but leave them with thoughts like “I want to make so-and-so fall in love with me.” Is that not the OPPOSITE of what we want to create? Think: there is a reason why so many people fall for Internet adds that say ‘create your own custom love spell using ancient chants and have it performed by one of our experienced practitioners for only $550.00!’
So, why should we assume that a love spell means a bunch of young adults that wish to make dozens of attractive strangers worship them? The answer you should have gotten is, we shouldn’t.
It’s commonly accepted that a love spell which calls a lover to you is better than making a specific person fall in love with you. But a similar argument can also be applied. “If it is meant to be, it will happen on its own”. I don’t like that argument, because it relies too heavily on leaving things as they are. If that argument were true, I would never need to exercise because if I were meant to be thin, I would be already; or I’m not meant to be smart, because a good college and career will come to me by themselves. Think about it, the universe is a complex web of cause and effect, and we can never truly know the effects our actions will have on others of the universe. In this case, there is no right or wrong. There is cause and effect. How you react to the effect is what makes us believe in ‘right or wrong’.
So, if the universe is so complex, how do we know that we are or are not supposed to draw something close to ourselves that we want? And what if it doesn’t require taking something from anyone else? Perhaps performing a five hour ritual for it may not be the answer… but if you wake up every day and tell yourself that you are loved, and that love comes to you naturally – that is equally as powerful as a spell when done with care and repetition, yet it allows less room for mistakes to be made; the positive effects of this kind of thought are apparent before we even attract any new relationships.
I personally don’t believe in doing spells that bring a romantic person to you. Not that I think it’s wrong, I just feel that if there is no one special in my life, there are countless reasons why. Perhaps I’m being picky, and need to learn not to be picky. Maybe I’m too busy, and whatever I’m busy with really does require more energy right now. But just because I don’t believe its right for me doesn’t mean I can tell other people it isn’t right for them either.
You would think the Neo-Pagan communities out there would have figured that out by now, but that is a lesson we are in reality quite far from learning. But to tell myself that I am loved, and that I am capable of attracting and spreading love, is something that benefits me on all levels. By doing this, I’m motivated to be myself and to be happy, healthy, wise, and helpful to others. If every person on earth woke up and said this to himself or herself in the morning, the world would be a better place.
And, probably what I consider to be the most important of all. What about a love spell that doesn’t concern the caster in the slightest with bringing him/her love, but giving it to others?
I like this kind of love spell, very, very much. It’s a shame that everyone seems to overlook it. Going back to the example with thoughts being like spells, magic is (when you think about it) like every other aspect of our lives: Cause and effect. Much of what we can do with the physical we can do with the magical. So, showing people you love affection is okay and even expected. So why shouldn’t we be doing this spiritually?
Why should we not make an honest attempt in prayer, meditation, or even in the circle, to let our loved ones know how much we care about them? Why shouldn’t we make it a mental ritual almost every day? There are hundreds of ways you can use magic to show someone you love them. Of course, this is not meant to replace any other ways of showing someone you care, but rather to enhance them. We have healing practices that allow us to heal another’s heart from afar, and we can charge countless objects such as stones and candles and use them for affirmations and prayer. Is it so bad?
And lastly, Love. The single most important component to a love spell – and sometimes any spell at all. No one has a monopoly on love. Lots of times, elders who have kids and grandkids act like they do. Lots of times, teens that held hands for the first time think they do. And any age group in between.
But this is not so.
Love may not be the same for each person. But that does not mean that people cannot appreciate love for what it is to them. The love between people in their 20s, 40s, and 60s, is still equally special even though they may not be the same. And how do we really know that when talking about a love spell, you can’t send love to someone other than a romantic partner? Why must we always equate love to sexual attraction?
There is love between friends, family, and perhaps a small amount between us and a stranger who gives us a helping hand in some way. Love is like any other feeling: You can feel it for different things, for different reasons, in different amounts, in different ways; you can express it differently and it can be expressed to you differently; sometimes it is stronger or more stable than others; but it is still real, worth experiencing, and worth celebrating.
Think about it. Spells are a petition to our higher selves, Divinity, our subconscious mind, the universe, and the spirits of those involved. It is a spiritual component of action… just as we have emotional changes, intellectual processes, and physical actions. And there is love, which; whether felt between mother and child, Divinity and Humans, a man and a woman, two females, two males, two teenagers, two adults, a pet and their owner, or any other combination of beings that can care for each other; is entirely worth celebrating.
So go celebrate. Make the world a better place.