Spells That Actually Work
(Do Not Try Any of these At Home, Only Jokes)
Ancient Spell to Kill a Beast
1. Get a spear.
2. Aim the spear.
3..Throw the spear.
4. Repeat until the beast is dead.
Spell to Make Money
1. Put on some tight attractive clothing.
2. Go to a busy street corner.
3. Dance as well as you can for passing cars and pedestrians.
Spell to Get Measles
1. Find someone who has measles.
2. Lick them.
Spell to Turn Day Into Night
1. Stand facing a large tree or wall.
2. Close eyes tightly. Keeping eyes closed, run straight ahead as fast as you can.
Spell to Turn Night Into Day
1. Lay down when it is nighttime.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Wait 8 hours.
4. Open your eyes.
Spell to Breathe Under-Water
1. Attach concrete block to your feet.
2. Jump into water.
3. Breathe normally and sing the tune to “Flipper”.
4. Takes about 5 minutes for lungs to adjust.
Spell to Commune With Pink Elephants
1. Pour glass of vodka or alcoholic drink of choice.
3. Repeat steps 1-2.