Category: A Laugh for Today

A Little Humor for Your Day – 52 Tea Puns That Will Get You Laughing Oolong Time

(I enjoy and laugh at many jokes found in Reader’s Digest magazines that I plan on sharing a lot of them with you.)

From Reader’s Digest

So many quali-tea puns for a brew-tiful day.

Some words are just destined to be turned into puns. The word “tea” itself is so easy to make into some tea-riffic puns, not to mention all the other tea-related words. Just like wine puns or coffee puns, the possibilities are practically endless to celebrate your favorite beverages. Puns are the perfect (and funny) addition to any conversation but can also be used on a greeting card for a friend or even in your social media captions. Next time you post a picture of tea time on Instagram, jazz it up with one of these quali-tea puns to impress your friends. Or just do it for yourself because puns can always put a smile on your face. And, of course, if you’re posting pictures of your other food, we have plenty of donut puns and fruit puns too. We have puns for all occasions! Check out the best tea puns ahead.

Tea puns

Nice tea meet you!

Making tea isn’t hard, but waiting for the kettle to boil sure is tea-dious.

This drink is tea-licious!

Oolong live the queen!

Let’s get this par-tea started!

It’s a brew-tea-ful day!

Steep dreams!

Don’t be chai!

I’m gonna love you oolong time!

Varie-tea is the spice of life!

This party is totally tea-riffic.

You’re my bes-tea!

Sweet dreams are made of tea.

Don’t kettle for second best.

Sip sip hooray!

The reali-tea is I love a good brew.

The only way out is brew it.

It’s been oolong time coming.

Sometimes I’m great at multi-tea-tasking.

Feeling tired enough to go to steep.

Can we all get oolong?

I’ll chai again tomorrow.

You’re totally tea-riffic.

You have to admit these puns are quali-tea.

Everything I brew, I brew for you.

If at first you don’t suceed, chai, chai again.

Walk a chamomile in my shoes.

Feeling a bit of deja brew.

Kettle down, kettle down.

You’re such a cu-tea.

I’ve been waiting oolong, long time for this.

It’s thirs-tea Thursday!

I believe I can chai.

Boba puns

We’re a pearl-fect fit for each other.

Pearls night out.

This boba tea is unbelie-bubble!

Hope you’re tapi-okay!

I’m totally cap-bubble of drinking something other than tea, I just don’t want to!

I always had a thing for the pearl next door.

I haven’t tried boba before, but I’ll give it a pearl.

You give me bubble-flies.

Matcha puns

We’re a matcha made in heaven.

You and me are the perfect matcha.

Game, set, matcha!

I’m feeling so matcha better today!

I love you so matcha.

So matcha love.

I’ve met my matcha!

So little time, so matcha to do.

Thank you very matcha.

I’ve met my matcha.

So nice to matcha—what’s your name?

 

I hope the rest of your and your family have a day and evening that is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, and love. Always remember to take a little me time every day to recharge yourself!

Merry part until we merry meet again!

A Little Humor for Your Day

Spells That Actually Work

Ancient Spell to Kill a Beast

  1. Get a spear.
  2. Aim the spear.
  3. Throw the spear.
  4. Repeat until the beast is dead.

Spell to Make Money

  1. Put on some tight attractive clothing.
  2. Go to a busy street corner.
  3. Dance as well as you can for passing cars and pedestrians.

Spell to Get Measles

  1. Find someone who has measles.
  2. Lick them.

Spell to Turn Day Into Night

  1. Stand facing a large tree or wall.
  2. Close eyes tightly.
  3. Keeping eyes closed, run straight ahead as fast as you can.

Spell to Turn Night Into Day

  1. Lay down when it is nighttime.
  2. Close your eyes.
  3. Wait 8 hours.
  4. Open your eyes.

Spell to Breathe Under-Water

  1. Attach concrete block to your feet.
  2. Jump into water.
  3. Breathe normally and sing the tune to “Flipper”.
  4. Takes about 5 minutes for lungs to adjust.

Spell to Commune With Pink Elephants

  1. Pour glass of vodka or alcoholic drink of choice.
  2. Drink.
  3. Repeat steps 1-2.

Spell to Attract Lightning

  1. Cover yourself in metal: jewelry, chains, golf clubs, nails, nuts & bolts, hubcaps, etc.
  2. Go out into a thunderstorm and hold a long TV antenna high in the air.
  3. Wait.

Spell to Stop a Runny Nose

  1. Get two cotton balls.
  2. Shove one up each nostril.
  3. Tape them there.

Spell to Make a Person Fall In Love With You

  1. Call person at least thirty times a day.
  2. Park outside their house and shut your headlights off.
  3. Leave sweet tokens on doorstep (i.e., roses without petals, a nice headless Barbie doll, etc.).
  4. Follow them everywhere they go… careful, they’ll try to lose you!
  5. Don’t worry if they get that silly restraining order, that means the spell is working!

Spell to Make a Person Fall Out of Love With You

  1. Forget getting a restraining order.
  2. Get a gun or other weapon of choice.
  3. Wound or maim person with weapon.
  4. Throw person in an area with lots of wild carnivores
  5. Wait.

Spell to Make Your Computer Fast

  1. Open a window.
  2. Defenestrate the computer.
  3. If the computer hits the ground really fast, the spell worked.

Alternate Spell to Make Your Computer Fast

  1. Turn on your computer
  2. Deny it food.

Spell to Save on Gas

  1. Cut holes in floorboards of car.
  2. Remove shoes.
  3. While still seated, pedal feet really, really fast.
  4. Scream “Yabba Dabba Do!”
  5. (Optional) Invite passengers to join in the fun!

Spell to Go to the Bathroom

  1. Drink so much water that you think you will burst.
  2. Drink another glass anyway.
  3. Wait ten minutes, then guzzle a can of soda.
  4. Repeat step 3 as often as desired to increase the spell’s effect.

Alternate Spell to Go to the Bathroom

  1. Eat a bushel of prunes.
  2. Take a dose of ExLax.
  3. Wait.

Spell to Make Something Disappear

  1. Open a window
  2. Grab the object you want to make disappear.
  3. Defenestrate the object.
  4. Close the window.

Spell to Make Yourself Fly

  1. Open a window
  2. Say “Sky sky make me fly like the birdies up so high.”
  3. Defenestrate yourself.
  4. Flap your arms vigorously and repeatedly say “I’m flying!”
  5. If you don’t hit the ground, the spell worked.

Spell to Get Red Eyes

  1. Take a spray bottle of Windex™.
  2. Aim nozzle at eyes.
  3. Spray.
  4. Repeat 20 times.

Spell to Get a New Car

  1. Get off the computer.
  2. Go to a car dealership.
  3. Chose a care. Take a test drive. Repeat until a satisfactory choice is made.
  4. Make arrangements to trade in your old car for the new one chosen.
  5. Drive home and wait.
  6. When the new car arrives, go back to the dealer.
  7. Drive home.

Spell to Go Through A Wall

  1. Get a sledgehammer.
  2. Hit a wall continuously until a large enough hole appears.
  3. Go through the hole.

Spell to Change Your Eye Color

  1. Visit ophthalmologist.
  2. Get prescription for contact lenses.
  3. Fill prescription with colored contact lenses.
  4. Put in colored contact lenses.

Spell to Get People to Pay Attention to You

  1. Stand up.
  2. Jump up and down.
  3. Make noises.
  4. Repeat until people stare at you.

Spell to Prevent a Broken Window

  1. Throw a shot put through your window pane.
  2. It can never be broken again.

Spell to Make Someone Disappear #1

  1. Tell them to go away.
  2. Repeat until they leave.

Spell to Make Someone Disappear #2

  1. Go into another room.
  2. Shut the door.
  3. Wait until they leave.

Spell to Make Someone Disappear #3

  1. Position them in front of an open window.
  2. Point and yell the name of their favorite celebrity so they lean out to look.
  3. Defenestrate them.
  4. Close the window.

Spell to Get a Full-time Job

  1. Find a police officer.
  2. Commit a crime in front of them.
  3. Wait quietly until they arrest you.
  4. Plead guilty to the crime in court.
  5. You will be taken to a big building and given a full-time job.

Spell to Be Somone’s Girlfriend

  1. Find a police officer.
  2. Commit a crime in front of them.
  3. Wait quietly until they arrest you.
  4. Plead guilty to the crime in court.
  5. You will be taken to a big building and will soon become someone’s girlfriend.

Spell to Turn Into a Monster

  1. Put on stilts.
  2. Dress up in a gorrila costume.
  3. Run around town with a megaphone and yell ROAR!

Spell to Become a Half-Animal

  1. Get bisected by a large saw.

Spell to Get Wings

  1. Find local fast food resturant number.
  2. Call number and place an order for wings
  3. Wings should arrive in 10-30 minutes.

Spell to Become a Mermaid

  1. Cut the head off a large tuna.
  2. Skin the body carefully, along with the tailfins.
  3. Wrap your legs with the skin. Use duct tape to close it and attach it to your own skin.
  4. Open-up gill-slits in your neck.
  5. Go jump in the ocean.

Spell to Become an Artist

  1. Get a crayon.
  2. Press the crayon against a piece of paper while moving it around wildly.
  3. Feel good about it.
  4. Show other people your awesome drawing.

Spell to Get a Friend

  1. Walk up to someone.
  2. Pay them $50-100.
  3. They’ll be your friend for a while.
  4. Pay more keep your friend.

 

For more great Pagan humor, visit Turok’s Cabana

 

A Little Humor for Your Day

 

I hope the rest of your and your family have a day and evening that is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, and love. Always remember to take a little me time every day to recharge yourself!

Merry part until we merry meet again!

A Little Humor for Your Day

WAYS TO HANDLE STRESS

Here’s something just for fun … something to make you laugh when you don’t
feel like laughing. By the way …. I’m not taking responsibility for anyone
crazy enough to do some of these things!

Suggestions for Handling Stress

1. Jam 39 marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa.
3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
4. When someone says, “Have a nice day”, tell them you have other plans.
5. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
6. Forget Jenny Craig and send yourself chocolates.
7. Make a list of things to do that you’ve already done.
8. Dance naked in front of your pets.
9. Put your toddlers clothes on backwards and send them off to pre-school like
nothing was wrong.
10. Retaliate for tax woes by filling your tax forms with Roman numerals.
11. Tattoo :Out to Lunch” on your forehead.
12. Tape pictures of your boss/least favorite professor on watermelons and
launch them from high places.
13. Leaf through a National Geographic and draw underwear on all the natives.
14. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
15. Buy a subscription to Penthouse or High Times and send it to your boss’s
work address.
16. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
17. Drive to work in reverse.
18. Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of “The Flintstones”
during an important finance meeting.
19. Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
20. Refresh yourself; put your tongue on a cold steel guard rail.
21. Tell your boss to blow it out his mule and let him figure it out.
22. Polish your car with ear wax.
23. Read the dictionary upside-down and look for secret messages.
24. Start a nasty rumor and see if you can recognize it when it comes back to
you.
25. Bill your doctor for time spent in his waiting room.
26. Braid the hairs in each nostril.
27. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
28. Lie on you back eating celery using your navel as a salt dipper.
29. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they’re in jail.
30. Make up a language and ask people for directions.

 

I hope the rest of your and your family have a day and evening that is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, and love. Always remember to take a little me time every day to recharge yourself!

Merry part until we merry meet again!

A Little Humor for Your Day

 

I hope the rest of your and your family have a day and evening that is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, and love. Always remember to take a little me time every day to recharge yourself!

Merry part until we merry meet again!

A Little Humor for Your Day

25 Signs You’ve Grown Up

Source: Funny Humor

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

10. You’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff.”

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to,” replaces, “I’m never going to drink that much again.”

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that this doesn’t apply to you.”

I will try to do some informational posts later today.

I hope the rest of your and your family have a day and evening that is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, and love. Always remember to take a little me time every day to recharge yourself!

Merry part until we merry meet again!

A Little Humor for Your Day

 

I hope the rest of your and your family have a day and evening that is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, and love. Always remember to take a little me time every day to recharge yourself!

Merry part until we merry meet again!

A Little Humor for Your Day – You might be practicing Bubba Wicca if …

Signs That You May Be A Bubba Wiccan

  1. You are out in the woods and the Horned God appears to you and it takes you more than 30 seconds to put down your deer rifle.
  2. You’ve ever duct-taped an outhouse and called it a sweat lodge.
  3. You run out of candles and then get the emergency flares out of your trunk.
  4. Your altar is made from the hood of an old Chevy pick-up.
  5. You begin your Circle by calling for quarters to be placed in the beer fund jar.
  6. You enter a skyclad circle with the words, In Perfect Love and Perfect Lust.
  7. You close a circle with the words “Hot damn, let’s party!”
  8. You get most of your spiritual wisdom about the cycles of nature from Bill Dance bass fishing shows.
  9. You watch NASCAR for its karmic revelation.
  10. Your ritual robes are made of weatherproof camouflage.
  11. Your revel fire causes the smokejumpers to fly in.
  12. The only herb you use has to be planted in the middle of nowhere.
  13. You think “The Reclaiming Collective” is a great name for a used automobile parts business.
  14. Before you can use your ritual cauldron, you have to wash out the bones from your fish stew.

I hope the rest of your and your family have a day and evening that is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, and love. Always remember to take a little me time every day to recharge yourself!

Merry part until we merry meet again!

A Little Humor for Your Day

I hope the rest of your and your family have a day and evening that is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, and love. Always remember to take a little me time every day to recharge yourself!

Merry part until we merry meet again!