Day: March 28, 2014

‘THINK on THESE THINGS’ for March 28th

‘THINK on THESE THINGS’
By Joyce Sequichie Hifler

In this day of emphasis on right connections with the right people, in the right places, at the right time, we must have truly extraordinary qualities to become successes on our own.

They who have worked hard and achieved success often carry a double burden by wrongful accusations of being privileged characters. Perhaps some to whom doors automatically open because of right connections seem to be privileged characters, but they, like dictators, have a limited existence.

Having connections may help us on the ladder of life, but it will never keep those rungs steady beneath our feet. Only our own greatness keeps us tall, sun-crowned. We must have something to give, something to offer before we can expect to be truly privileged characters. And then, we will have earned the right to our privileges. We are somewhat like God, blamed for much we don’t do and seldom given credit for the good we have done.

Whatever the future, the world still needs citizens like those J.G. Holland wrote about nearly a century ago: “God give us men. The times demand strong minds, great hearts, true faith, and willing hands…..Tall men, sun-crowned, who live above the fog, in public duty and in private thinking!”

_______________________________________

Available online! ‘Cherokee Feast of Days’
By Joyce Sequichie Hifler.

Visit her web site to purchase the wonderful books by Joyce as gifts for yourself or for loved ones……and also for those who don’t have access to the Internet: http://www.hifler.com
Click Here to Buy her books at Amazon.com

Elder’s Meditation of the Day
By White Bison, Inc., an American Indian-owned nonprofit organization. Order their many products from their web site: http://www.whitebison.org

Elder’s Meditation of the Day – March 28

Elder’s Meditation of the Day – March 28

“Sacred sites and areas are protection for all people – the four colors for man – and these sites are in all areas of the earth in the four directions.”

–Traditional Circle of Elders, NORTHERN CHEYENNE

The Elders say that values come from the Mother Earth. Different places and areas around the Earth have different values. The Water people live in harmony and know the values that correspond to that particular part of the Earth. The Desert people know the values of the desert and respect and live in harmony with that part of the Earth. The Woodland people know the values of their part of the Earth and live in harmony. If you live in harmony with the Earth, you will live a life that is full of values. We should have great respect for the Mother Earth.

Grandfather, today, let me learn values from Mother Earth.

 

March 28 – Daily Feast

March 28 – Daily Feast

Few sounds in nature are harsh. Even the rolling thunder that rumbles across the sky has solemn beauty. The wind makes whistles in the treetops and wild birds warble like rivulets of water that make harps among the shallows. The frenzied crash and blare come from man. The woods comfort with their sounds. A tiny yellow warbler with black wings sits in the redbud tree and makes the sound of an astral flute, a clear call for peace and harmony. If the bird wants a tranquil place – how much more we need it. A wet-weather spring feeds the ground from beneath, giving ferns moisture and life. In the rainy season the water flows and the delicate fronds mingle with the water creating a swishing sound. Surely we can absorb the serenity to heal and soothe our souls.

~ Creator of the world, Maker of all men; Lord of lords, my eyes fail me…..for the sole desire to know thee. ~

INCA HYMN

‘A Cherokee Feast of Days’, by Joyce Sequichie Hifler

 

The Daily Motivator for March 28th – Highly worthy

Highly worthy

You deserve the very best. And you deserve the experience of creating it in your life.

Those who tell you that you’re undeserving are wrong. Those who tell you that you can have something for nothing are just as wrong.

Yes, on this very day you are worthy of the best life you can imagine. And on this very day, you have the opportunity, and the responsibility, to bring that life into being.

What a waste it would be to live at less than your highest level. What a shame it would be to squander even one day of your unique, highly worthy life.

What you have is amazing and filled with great promise. So put in some effort that’s fully worthy of that great promise.

You deserve a life that’s rich and full, and you deserve to be the one who makes it happen. So get up, get busy, get going, and discover how truly deserving you are.

— Ralph Marston

 

Source:
The Daily Motivator

The Daily OM for March 28th – Cloud Meditation

Cloud Meditation
Head in the Clouds

by Madisyn Taylor

Following a cloud with our eye and drifting through the sky with it can be an easy and relaxing meditation.

When people use the phrase “head in the clouds,“ they usually refer to a mental state that appears to be drifting rather than concentrating. For this reason, putting our heads in the clouds can be a wonderful meditation tool. Whether puffy and white or tinted with the colors of dawn and dusk or shades of gray, those vaporous sky dwellers can remind us of so many things about life and about ourselves.

For this meditation, we can find a physical place to relax and look upward, or we can look to the skies from within our imaginations. Directing our thoughts to the endless of expanse of sky that clouds inhabit, we feel our souls expand to reach beyond any seeming limitations. Following the clouds, we are free to unleash our imaginations. We may choose to merely drift along with them for a time, enjoying their distanced perspective on the world. Or we can look for messages in their fantastical shapes, or feel the joy of bounding between their immense billowy puffiness. However we interact with them, we do so from a peaceful place. Clouds drift above the hustle of the world below, knowing they belong to another realm that cannot be affected by its frenzy, reminding us that peace is always available to us. By directing our vision beyond the ordinary, clouds also remind us of the illusion of appearances. While appearing to be solid, their vapor and mist appear like cotton balls from below, giving little indication of the heights they reach. Sometimes they may cast shadows, leaving us in shade, but like life’s difficulties clouds change shape and move onward, revealing the shining sun, twinkling stars, and blue sky that are behind them.

When a ray of light breaks through the clouds, their dramatic filtering only makes the light more beautiful by contrast, just as we can shine more brightly in the midst of life’s challenges. When we allow clouds to offer us a welcome respite, they help us visit the realm of illusion to see the truth beyond.

 

Source:
The Daily OM

Forgo​tten Energ​ies Spell​

Forgo​tten Energ​ies Spell​

 

Somet​imes,​ we forge​t to use earth​ energ​ies to rejuv​enate​ ourse​lves.​
When stres​sed at work,​ remin​d yours​elf to take a few minut​es and breat​he deepl​y.​ Go outsi​de and look at the sky. If the sky is clear​,​ say:

“Clea​r of sky, and clear​ of eye, I see the way to spend​ my day.”

If the sky is storm​y,​ say:

“Stor​ms of life may cause​ some strif​e,​ yet clear​ the way to a brigh​ter day.”

Getti​ng in touch​ with the eleme​nts will help enabl​e you to accom​plish​ tasks​ that forme​rly seeme​d overw​helmi​ng.​
When you retur​n to your job, chant​ the affir​matio​n and then cente​r your atten​tion on the task at hand.​

Spell to Gain Energy

Spell to Gain Energy

 

You need:

bright red or orange candle
spicy incense
glass of clear pure cold water
bowl of sea salt

If is sunny out you may want to start the spell by going outside for a few minutes and breathing in some fresh air.
Sit in front of the candle and say:

Give me energy to happily complete the task I have been given to do.
I will feel better for having done it. The completion of the task will be my reward.
Sprinkle the sea salt around the candle and say:
Give me strength, O sacred Earth.
Pass your hand near the candle and say:
Give me strength, O sacred Fire.

Pass your hand through the smoke of the incense and say:

Give me strength, O sacred Air.
Drink the water down and say:
Give me strength O sacred water.

Now immediately get up and go do your task.

Nouri​shing​ Energ​y Spell

Nouri​shing​ Energ​y Spell

The days are growi​ng longe​r,​ but the air is still​ cold and the groun​d barre​n.​ Benea​th the soil,​ the mothe​r is nouri​shing​ the seeds​ that will becom​e next sprin​g’s flowe​rs.​


The growi​ng Sun is intro​ducin​g warmt​h and light​ to nouri​sh these​ tende​r infan​ts of the next growi​ng seaso​n.​ As the unive​rse nouri​shes the seeds​ of sprin​g,​ focus​ these​ energ​ies to nouri​sh your inner​ seeds​.​ Light​ a white​ candl​e.​ Burn your favor​ite incen​se,​ and relax​ in a comfo​rtabl​e posit​ion.​ Relax​ your body,​ and quiet​ your mind.​


Ask your highe​r self to open to rays of nouri​shing​ energ​y.​ Visua​lize this energ​y touch​ing your crown​ and flowi​ng into your body.​ Feel this energ​y warm and regen​erate​ you with every​ breat​h.​ Allow​ the energ​y to reach​ throu​gh you, trail​ing off into the earth​,​ groun​ding any exces​s or unwan​ted energ​y.​
Allow​ the energ​y to conti​nue its flow until​ you feel it is no longe​r neces​sary.​ Thank​ your highe​r self for this rejuv​enati​on.​ Spend​ the rest of the eveni​ng parti​cipat​ing in activ​ities​ that you enjoy​.​

By: Karen​ Folle​tt         

Self Assurance Spell

Self Assurance Spell

Gathe​r a piece​ of paper​,​ one grey crayo​n,​ one brigh​t crayo​n (​orang​e-​yello​w is good)​,​ match​es,​ and a small​ item to repre​sent yours​elf (​perha​ps a pebbl​e)​.​

On the left side of the paper​ write​ in grey the word “​doubt​,​”​ and draw a cloud​ over the word.​
On the right​ side,​ use the brigh​t crayo​n to draw a sun with the word “​assur​ance”​ under​neath​ it.

Then lay the paper​ befor​e you, placi​ng the symbo​l of self on the left side.​ Slowl​y,​ while​ repea​ting the phras​e,​

“​From doubt​ to certa​inty,​ light​ to mark my way. Misgi​vings​ be gone,​ I’m seizi​ng the day,​”​ move the stone​ acros​s the page until​ it sets firml​y on the word “​assur​ance.​”

Next,​ take a deep breat​h and tear away the left side of the paper​,​ relea​sing your breat​h as you finis​h teari​ng.​ Burn that side to liter​ally destr​oy your doubt​.​

Wrap the remai​ning paper​ aroun​d the stone​ or objec​t and carry​ it to encou​rage confi​dence​ every​ day.        

Self-Empowerment Spell

Self-Empowerment Spell

 

This is a fairly simple emotion spell, and of course you should change it according to your tastes.

You will need:

1 white candle
Mirror

The candle should be cleansed before you begin, and could be infused with white energy, the energy of love and strength. Meditate upon your intentions before you begin. Why do you need to empower yourself? Is it because you wish to realize the beauty within yourself, or you wish others to see the beauty or strength you know that lies within you?

This spell also works best if you do a cleansing of yourself, whether it is bath or shower or just visualize all of the negativity that you are carrying with you washing away. The candle should be placed in front of the mirror, and the mirror should face you.

Light the candle. Feel the positive energy emanating from the candle.
If you worship a deity, call upon them to help you.
Chant or say a prayer.

This is an example:

I walk in beauty with the Goddess.
I am strength. I am beauty. I am will. I am love.
She is within me. All who see me, know Her.

Good Things To Know

Good Things To Know

Moon Phase Correspondences for Magickal Workings.

New Moon Magick:

New Moon workings can be done from the day of the new moon to three-and-a-half days after.

The new moon is for starting new ventures, new beginnings. Also love and romance, health or job hunting.

Waxing Moon Magick:

From seven to fourteen days after the new moon.

The waxing moon is for constructive magick, such as love, wealth, success, courage, friendship, luck or health.

Full Moon Magick:

From fourteen to seventeen-and-a-half days after the new moon.

Prime time for rituals for prophecy, protection, divination. Any working that needs extra power, such as help finding a new job or healings for serious conditions, can be done now. Also, love, knowledge, legal undertakings, money and dreams.

Waning Moon Magick:

From three-and-a-half to ten-and-a-half days after the full moon.

The waning moon is used for banishing magick, for ridding oneself of addictions, illness or negativity.

Dark Moon Magick:

From ten-and-a-half to fourteen days after the full moon.

The dark moon is a time for dealing with attackers, for exploring our darkest recesses and understanding our angers and passions. Also bringing justice to bear.

Daily Correspondences for Magickal Workings:

Sunday: Power magick, health, vitality, money, career

Monday: Intuition, dreams, psychic ability, fertility

Tuesday: Money, enemies, courage, energy

Wednesday: Divination, communications, knowledge, wisdom

Thursday: Happiness, luck, wealth, victory, health

Friday: Love, romance, marriage, friendship

Saturday: Psychic ability, communications, new beginnings, protection, bindings

Color Correspondences for Magickal Workings:

Red: energy, strength, passion, love, career goals, courage

Orange: business goals, career goals, justice, success, ambition

Yellow: learning, breaking mental blocks, confidence, persuasion

Pink: romantic love, peace, nurturing

Green: finances, luck, physical healing, abundance, growth

Blue: wisdom, protection, calm, creativity, patience

Purple: spiritual power, psychic ability, ambition, third eye

Silver: telepathy, clairvoyance, intuition, dreams, astral energy

Black: protection, repelling, binding

White: peace, purity, spirituality, higher self

Herbal Magick

There are many herbs that can be used for magickal purposes; I’ve elected to list only those that could be found in an ordinary kitchen or can be easily found at a grocery store or nursery. Wooden window boxes are fairly inexpensive, as is potting soil. The herbs themselves were only $2 each.

Success: basil, sandalwood

Psychic development: cinnamon, rosemary, thyme

Divination: cloves, nutmeg, thyme

Dream magick: cinnamon, mistletoe

Good luck: chamomile, nutmeg, sandalwood

Health: allspice, coriander, ginseng, thyme

Love magick: basil, catnip, cinnamon, dill seed, ginger, mint, rosemary, sage, thyme

Money: basil, chamomile, cinnamon, garlic, thyme

Protection: cloves, marjoram, basil, sandalwood, African ginger

Handy Stuff to Have Around the House

Harmony Ball – chiming spheres were created by ancient Druids as meditation devices to commune with nature.

Pentagrams – The 5 points represent the elements of all creation –Air, Fire, Water & Earth plus the quality of the Spirit which imbues it

Ankhs – The ancient Egyptian symbol of the radiant life force of healing — both spiritual and physical

9 Healing Herbs: Catnip, Chamomile, Coltsfoot, Plantain, Ginger, Cayenne, Comfrey, Garlic, Lobelia

5 Helpful Goddesses:

Ganesh – Bestower of Success in work, and Remover of Obstacles

Laxmi – Goddess for petitions of Love, Sex, Abundance & Wealth

Shiva – God of Regeneration, Ecstasy, Magic Sex & Transcendence

Tara – Bestower of good. Protectress against enemies & bad luck

Vishnu – Protector of Universe for power, courage & sustenance

Lodestone – Lodestones are naturally magnetic, used to charge spell items. Often 2 lodestones are carried: 1 to repel bad luck and 1 to attract good luck. Lodestones come in blue, gold, green, silver, white & natural

Dragon’s Blood Ink – Typically dragon’s blood is used for love spells. Dragon’s blood is used for power & spell strength

Lighting Sticks- Preferable to matches for ritual use because they reach into enclosed candle holders easily & don’t leave the match scent of sulfur.

Creating An Artificial Element

CREATING AN ARTIFICIAL ELEMENT

The elemental Spirits of Earth are the Gnomes.
The elemental Spirits of Air are the Sylphs.
The elemental Spirits of Water are the Undines.
The elemental Spirits of Fire are the Salamanders.

1- Decide on the purpose and do a divination to determine the outcome. If it is positive, proceed to number two.

2- Perform the Opening by Watchtower.

3- Imagine that you are the element which you wish to from into an artificial element. Hold your hands nine to twelve inches apart, palms facing each other. Now imagine a bottle or box between your hands. Next, as you exhale, visualize all of the element you are working with going out with your breath and being trapped in the container between your hands. Do this until the container is
literally bursting with elemental energy.

4- Take your hands away and let the container float in front of you. Pick up the tool associated with the element with which you are working. Put the end of the tool against the visualized container.
Say:
“I hereby name thee ________.
Go thou and do (whatever you wish it to do).
When you have completed this task, disperse and reunite with (name of element)
everywhere and harm none on your way.
If thou hast not completed thy task by (date and time), then disperse
nonetheless and reunite with (name of element)everywhere and harm none on your
way.
So mote it be!
Be on thy way!”

5- Perform the Closing by Watchtower.

Elemental Magick – Water

ELEMENTAL MAGICK – WATER

The elemental Spirits of Water are the Undines.

Mastering the element Water…

1- Make a list of things which have the combined qualities of being cool and moist. Practice this for one week. Be sure to record the results each day in your magickal diary.

2- Remove your clothes and enter a bath or pool where the water is cool. If you have access to a lake or river, this would be best. Also, it would be good if you could get a swimming snorkel so that you can breathe while completely submerged beneath the surface of the water. Obviously, this would be difficult to do in a small bath tub or in a shallow pool, but if you have access to a snorkel and have a place where you can be totally submerged, you will have the quickest success. Once you are submerged as much as possible, and if you are completely submerged, breathing comfortably through the snorkel, do the relaxation ritual. Next, become very aware of your breath. As you do this you will find that your breath will automatically slow down. Notice the way the air feels as it comes in through the nose, down the air pipe and into the lungs. Feel this. Once again, imagine that your body is nothing more then an enormous breathing apparatus. If you experience any sort of “drowning sensation”, stop immediately and try again later. You should do this exercise for one week.

3- Spend a period of up to three minutes (no more), once a day, imagining that you are the element Water. Feel the fluidity, the coolness, the refreshing moisture of the elemental waters. Know what water feels like, what water is. Do this for one week.

4- Once you have learned to “be Water”, the next step is to control the element Water. Take a moment and imagine yourself to be Water. Bring the feeling from the previous exercise into your consciousness. Next, hold your hands 9-12 inches apart, palms facing each other. Imagine a bottle or box between your hands. Now, as you exhale, visualize all of the Water element which is in you going out with your breath and into the container between your hands. Three to five breaths
should be enough to fill it. Then, with three breaths, inhale it back into you and go back to normal consciousness.

THE TEST
The next time you feel hard headed, overly tense, or like you muscles are hard as a rock, do this exercise. If you feel relaxed and reasonable, you have succeeded with the test AND with mastering the element Water.

Elemental Magick – Fire

ELEMENTAL MAGICK – FIRE

The elemental Spirits of Fire are the Salamanders.

Mastering the element Fire…

1- Make a list of things which have the combined qualities of having heat and dryness. Be sure to record the results each day in your magickal diary. Do at least daily for one week.

2- Find a place that is extremely hot, such as a desert or a dry sauna (not a steam bath). If those are not possible, find a place where a roaring fire is going. Such a fire could be in a fireplace or a barbecue pit or grill. Remove all of your clothes, or as much as you can, and get as close to the heat source as possible without risking a burn. Once you are in a position where it is uncomfortably hot, but not painful or unbearable, do the relaxation ritual. Focus on your breathing. Again imagine that you are a huge breathing apparatus. Do this for a short while, usually ten minutes. Do not spend any time longer then that. Do this exercise at different times of the day or night for one week.

3- Spend a period of up to three minutes (no more), once a day, imagining that you are the element Fire. Feel the heat and your ability to transmit the heat. Know what Fire feels like, what Fire is. Do this for one week.

4- Once you have learned to “be Fire”, the next step is to control the element Fire. Take a moment and imagine yourself to be Fire. Bring the feeling from the previous exercise into your consciousness. Next, hold your hands 9-12 inches apart, palms facing each other. Imagine a bottle or box between your hands. Now, as you exhale, visualize all of the Fire element which is in you going out with your breath and into the container between your hands. Three to five breaths
should be enough to fill it. Then, with three breaths, inhale it back into you and go back to normal consciousness.

THE TEST
The next time you feel listless or have a total lack of energy, do this exercise. If you feel energized and revitalized, you have succeeded with the test AND mastering the element Fire.

Elemental Magick – Earth

ELEMENTAL MAGICK – EARTH

The elemental Spirits of Earth are the Gnomes.

Mastering The Element Earth….

1- Make a list of things which have the combined qualities of dryness and coolness. However, don’t to this just out of your head. Rather, make a list of Earth things that you see each day. Practice this for one week. Be sure to record the results each day in your magickal diary.

2- Find a place filled with nature, such as a field or park. Wear as little clothing as you can (if possible, nudity is best), and sit or lie on the ground so that as much of your skin as possible is touching the ground. This is especially easy for women, as they can simply wear a flowing skirt with no underwear and sit on the ground with the skirt spread out. Spend some time contemplating, feeling the coolness and dryness of the Earth. You should do this at least three times within a week.

3- Spend a period of up to three minutes (no more), once a day, imagining that you are the element Earth. Feel the heaviness, the slowness, the coolness and dryness of Earth. Feel the way you can absorb the pains and problems of the world (however, do not actually do so). Become Earth. Do this exercise for at least a week before moving to the next exercise.

4- Once you have leaned to “be Earth”, the next step is to control the element Earth. Bring the feeling from the previous exercise into your consciousness. Next, hold your hands 9-12 inches apart, palms facing each other. Imagine a bottle or box between your hands. Now, as you exhale, visualize all of the Earth element which is in you going out with your breath and into the container
between your hands. Three to five breaths should be enough to fill it. Then, with three breaths, inhale it back into you and go back to normal consciousness.

THE TEST
The next time you feel lightheaded, overweight, just heavy and lethargic, do this exercise. If you feel lighter and better, you have succeeded, with the test AND with mastering the element Earth.

Elemental Magick – Air

ELEMENTAL MAGICK – AIR

The elemental Spirits of Air are the Sylphs.

Mastering the element Air…

1- Make a list of the things which have the combined qualities of warmth and moistness. Practice this for one week. Be sure to record the results each day in your magickal diary.

2- Find a place where you can be alone, take a lounge chair along with you. Wear as little clothing as you can (if possible, nudity is best), and sit or lie in the chair. Begin pore breathing. This is started by doing the relaxation ritual. Next, become very aware of your breath. Become aware of the slow in and out motion of the physical air. Notice the way the air feels as it enters your body. Now imagine that your body is nothing more then a huge breathing apparatus. Imagine that every part of your body only has the function of breathing. You should do this exercise daily for one week.

3- Spend a period of up to three minutes (no more), once a day, imagining that you are the element Air. Feel the lightness, the giddiness, the warmth and moisture of Air. Feel how physical things don’t seem to matter. Do this exercise for only one week, NO MORE. If you wish to do it again, only do it once a month.

4- Once you have learned to “be Air”, the next step is to control the element Air. Take a moment and imagine yourself to be Air. Bring the feeling from the previous exercise into your consciousness. Next, hold your hands 9-12 inches apart, palms facing each other. Imagine a bottle or box between your hands. Now, as you exhale, visualize all of the Air element which is in you going out with your breath and into the container between your hands. Three to five breaths should be enough to fill it. Then, with three breaths, inhale it back into you and go back to normal consciousness.

THE TEST
The next time you feel heavy, slow or lazy, do this exercise. If you feel relaxed and refreshed, you have succeeded with the test AND with mastering the element Air.

Hope

Moon & Witch Comments & Graphics

Hope

Soft tendrils of light along my path
Cobwebs formed the night before
Drops of dew touching my face
A day without rage or wrath

I ponder the events of life
Days that are free of grief
Days that can be painted with wisdom
Days that are free of strife

As a human I know that life can be hard
Constant tension, looking for answers
To agree or disagree
Tarot speak, I hope to draw the right card

And so I look up to the fading moon
Mother dearest hear my thoughts
Show us the way out of this mess
Off in the distance a silent Loon

And though we are often in a bad way
We have the power to change
Peace and prosperity to all
Oh dear Mother is that what you say

Start your day with a positive thought
Help the elderly and all about
Listen to the laughter of a child
Oh look what the Faeries brought

An offering of lasting hope
A gift of promise and joy
Reach out and embrace the Goddess
As a race I know that we can cope
Source:
Author Crickjumper

A Little Humor for Your Day – ‘Cake or Bed?’

Cake Or Bed?

 

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT’S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY; FIX THE LIGHT, NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A G.E. LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON’T THINK SO!

THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON’T CLOSE RIGHT.

TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON’T THINK SO.

FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY’RE ABOUT TO BREAK.

I’M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON’T WANT TO FIX STEPS, HE SAYS. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON’T THINK SO. I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I’M GOING TO THE BAR!!! SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT. AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.’HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW’D ALL THIS GET FIXED?

SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.

HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?

SHE REPLIED, HELLOOOOO…….DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON’T THINK SO! ===== 

 

Source:

JokesWareHouse.com