A Little Humor for Your Day – “Ineffective Daily Affirmations”

Ineffective Daily Affirmations

 

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.

I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.

I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.

I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal.

Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.

My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.

I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.

I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.

Joan of Arc heard voices, too.

I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.

The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.

I am at one with my duality.

Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

Rather than curse the darkness, I could light a candle… with a little luck, I could torch the place.

I will strive to live each day as if it were my 30th birthday.

Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.

Does my quiet self-pity get to me? Yes? Or should I move up to incessant nagging?

I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than “I told you so.”

False hope is nicer than no hope at all.

A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.

Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute…I’ll find someone.

Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?

The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.

I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step– blaming my parents.

To understand all is to fear all.

I will be accepting and kind, and learn to love televangelists.

 

Source

Turok’s Cabana

Astronomy Picture of the Day – Heliopause Electrostatic Rapid Transit System

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Discover the cosmos! Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer.

2016 April 16

Heliopause Electrostatic Rapid Transit System
Illustration Credit: NASA, Marshall Space Flight Center

 

Explanation: Want to take a fast trip to the edge of the Solar System? Consider a ride on a Heliopause Electrostatic Rapid Transit System (HERTS). The concept is currently being tested and it might take only 10 to 15 years to make the trip of over 100 Astronomical Units (15 billion kilometers). That’s fast compared to the 35 years it took Voyager 1, presently humanity’s most distant spacecraft, to approach the heliopause or outer boundary of the influence of the solar wind. HERTS would use an advanced electric solar sail that works by extending multiple, 20 kilometer or so long, 1 millimeter thin, positively charged wires from a rotating spacecraft. The electrostatic force generated repels fast moving solar wind protons to create thrust. Compared to a reflective solar light sail, another propellantless deep space propulsion system, the electric solar wind sail could continue to accelerate at greater distances from the Sun, still developing thrust as it cruised toward the outer planets.

Your Planet Report for April 16th: Mars Retrograde, The Cosmic Chill Pill

 

 

 

 

 

Mars Retrograde: The Cosmic Chill Pill

The benefits of slowing down

Once every two years Mars, the planet that rules our motivation and ambition, turns retrograde for about a 2 1/2-month stretch. On April 17, 2016, Mars turns retrograde in adventurous Sagittarius, and will remain backpedaling until June 29. You’ve undoubtedly read all of the warnings about Mars Retrograde by now, and they are indeed accurate. Since Mars is the planet of initiation, you must have a strong and direct Mars if you ever want your endeavor to succeed. This is why astrologers advise against starting vital projects during this phase.

The “oomph” factor is missing or lessened somehow when Mars is retrograde. Often, we feel a sense of frustration during Mars Retrograde because we want to press forward in a certain area of our lives but feel as if our efforts to progress are futile. The universe demands that we fortify what’s happening in that area already rather than break new ground.  As long as you remember that simple rule you’ll be fine. Mars Retrograde won’t be your downfall.

When Mars is your ruler

If you’re ruled by Mars however, either by having the Sun or Ascendant in Aries or Scorpio, then you belong to the VIP Mars club. Mars, as our ruling planet, has a special emphasis in our lives. When this planet moves direct we’re enlivened and embroiled. We’re full of vim and vigor. When retrograde however, we are forced into a cosmic time out. The universe doesn’t ask, but rather orders us to take a chill pill.

I, for one, am relieved.

That’s right, I said it. When Mars turns retrograde I know that for at least a few weeks I’ll have time to fully inhale and exhale. You see, being ruled by Mars and having Mars heavily aspected in my chart (the apex of a T-square with it square Venus, conjunct Saturn, square Pluto as well as trine Jupiter) you can say that I am a high strung, an on-the-go person. I live this high octane existence and rarely give myself any down time. So when Mars turns retrograde every couple of years I might experience a bout of frustration if I’m trying to get something off the ground, but even so, I tend to be secretly thankful. Why? Because at the very least, I can count on a BREAK!

As soon as Mars enters his cave for hibernation I feel the endless anxiety begin to lift. I realize that I’ve got time to relax. There’s an almost unhurried vibration in my energy field that is foreign to me most of the time. But it allows my “fight or flight” tendency to diminish just enough to stop, sit down and smell the roses.

 

Part of the Daily Insight Group