A Little Humor for Your Day – How To Maintain Insanity At Work, lol!

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace

1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender.
3) Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point, Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha.”
4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you’re doing. For example: “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”
5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven’t lost them as much since you did this.
6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.
7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document.
9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.
10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.
12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it “IN.”
13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
14) Send e-mail messages saying there’s free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunch room. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, “Oh you’ve got to be faster than that.”
15) Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

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A Little Humor for Your Day – ‘An Email From Beyond”

An Email From Beyond

An Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. Hearing the scream, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

“Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here!”

Daily Motivator for October 18th – Choose to feel

Choose to feel

When you don’t feel like smiling, that’s when a smile will absolutely do the  most good. When you don’t feel like laughter, that’s when a laugh can completely  change your whole outlook.

You do not have to live at the mercy of your feelings. You can choose to be  the master of those feelings and the master of your actions.

It doesn’t matter whether it is easy or hard, reasonable or unreasonable to  choose the way you act and feel. You can do it anyway.

Don’t use your feelings as an easy excuse to do the wrong thing. Use them as  a well-informed guide for doing what is good and right.

Pay attention to your feelings, learn from them, experience, enjoy and  appreciate them. But don’t let them enslave you.

Go ahead, feel life intensely. And make the choice to be in control and to  live with intelligent, positively focused purpose.

— Ralph Marston

The Daily Motivator

The Witches Spell for July 23rd – Reverse and Send Back A Spell or Curse

Book & Candle Comments

The Witches Spell for July 23rd:

Reverse and Send Back A Spell or Curse

 

Ingredients You Will Need:

Pine Needles

If you feel someone has been performing Magick on you against your will, you do have the option of stopping their effort. You should burn pine needles while concentrating on stopping and sending back the Magickal Act. This will also aid in blocking future attempts at Magickal intrusion.

The easiest way to perform this spell indoors is to crush a small amount of needles and to place them atop a round charcoal tablet. This spell can just as easily be preformed outdoors by placing pine needles on the campfire. All people present should participate in the visualization of sending the Magick back to its owner.

Live positive

Live positive

Holding a grudge can get heavy and tiresome. Lighten your load by letting it  go.

Looking for someone to blame for what’s wrong takes time and effort away from  doing what’s right. Do yourself and everyone else a favor, and put your energy  into positive actions.

Being envious of those who have more, just locks you into a mindset of having  less. Rejoice at the good fortune of others, and it becomes your good fortune  too.

If you seek to bring someone else down, that brings you down as well. Seek  instead to lift others up, and you cannot help but lift yourself with them.

If you live with a negative outlook, you’ll find yourself always in a  negative world. Choose instead to see the positive side, and align yourself with  the most favorable possibilities.

Life can be outstandingly good if you’ll see it and allow it. Live positive,  moment by moment, and live very well.

— Ralph Marston

The Daily Motivator

Doing the Best We Can

Doing the Best We Can
by Fran Hafey/Mysti
 
In a conversation the other day, I could hear bitterness and sadness
in the voice I was listening to.
 
Then I heard myself say very calmly “We all did the best we could at that time,”
and with that proceeded to share about my own experience.
 
When we remember the past, we have choices. We can hang on to those bitter memories
or we can let them go. It’s alright to remember and share them, even more than once.
It’s what we then choose to do with them that is important.
 
When I was about my oldest daughters age, she is almost 25, I lost all my childhood memories.
I only remembered the fear, the darkness, the pain, hurt and who had inflicted this on me.
It took me many years to let it all go.
 
Once I worked through it… I started receiving my memories back. Sometimes in dreams,
and sometimes I would just be doing something and a memory would pop in my mind.
I would share them with my family at times and I was so happy, that now,
I could remember what a great childhood I had.
 
I cried sometimes, when I remembered things. I let my emotions flow and released them.
I laughed, cried and shared.
 
I realized a wonderful thing. That the people in my life, in my past,
did the best they could with what they had. So profound and so true.
 
I have forgiven and I have put away things I no longer need. I remember the love
and the good times as well as the bad. They all made me who I am today.
I would not change a thing.
 
Now, I help others do the same.
 
I help them find those blocks and what is in the way of remembering the good
or the indifferent. I help them learn to let it go and grow from it.
 
Not everyone had a great childhood. Even the ones that tell you they had a lousy one
usually can find some good, when they look hard enough.
Helping our inner child remember and laugh again,
is worth more than gold. Much more.
 
I hope that you,… no I believe that you can find some of the good in your past
and remember that we all did the best we could
then, with what we had
and just look at what we can do
with what we have…now.
 
Sent with love and light,
Mystiblu~
 
About the Author: Fran Hafey (Mysti) is a Reiki II Practioner, Writer, and Spiritual Counselor.
She provides guidance and inspiration via her Website, groups, ezine’s and newsletter on the World Wide Web.
To read more of her articles visit the Author’s Website: http://Mystickblue.com