Category: Daily Posts

A Laugh for Today

I am going on no sleep but at least I got today’s regular posts done on time. Be back later to do tomorrow’s regular posts, hopefully on time…lol

Some of the Witchcraft/Magickal Correspondence for Wednesday

From modernwellnesswitch.com

Wednesdays are best for self-development; reading, taking a class, attending seminars or workshops. A good day for all things involving communication such as having meetings, taking calls, advertisements, promotions, and announcements. Artistic projects are also supported this day; writing, poetry, dance, and music.

Planet: Mercury

Element: Air

Tarot Card: The Magician

Rune: Ansuz

Colors: Purple, Orange

Plants*: Almond, Aspen, Bean, Brazil Nut, Caraway, Celery, Clover, Dill, Fennel, Fenugreek, Fern, Flax, Lavender, Lemongrass, Lemon Verbena, Mandrake, Marjoram, Mint, Orange Bergamot, Mulberry, Parsley, Pecan, Peppermint, Pistachio, Pomegranate, Summer Savory, Wax Plant

Stones: Apophyllite, White Sapphire, Green Aventurine, Tree Agate, Diopside, Citrine, Ametrine, Lemon Chrysoprase, Leopardskin Jasper,

Magical Uses: Communication, Wisdom, Travel, Creative, Inspirational, Education

A Thought for Today – Printable

Meteoroid expected to safely strike Earth’s atmosphere Sunday evening over France

From Fox News out of Chicago, Illinois, USA

A small meteorite roughly one meter in length is expected to safely strike Earth’s atmosphere over northern France around 10:00 p.m. ET on Sunday evening, the European Space Agency said.

The meteorite, dubbed Sar2667, will enter the atmosphere over Rouen, France, and should be visible in Belgium, the Netherlands, northern France, and southern England, according to the International Meteor Organization. 

It marks only the 7th time that astronomers have spotted an asteroid before it strikes Earth, a trend that the ESA attributes to “rapid advancements in global asteroid detection capabilities.” 

The last asteroid that was detected before breaching Earth’s atmosphere, 2022 WJ1, was spotted just four hours before lighting up the skies over Toronto, Canada, on Nov. 19, 2022. 

Small meteoroids like Sar2667 strike Earth every couple of weeks but aren’t a big danger to the planet.

Astronomers currently know of more than 1.1 million asteroids, about 30,600 of which qualify as near-Earth asteroids because their orbit brings them close to our planet, according to the ESA. 

NASA, the ESA, and other organizations around the world are stepping up their planetary defense capabilities in case a planet-destroying asteroid ever gets on track to strike Earth. 

Last year, NASA’s Dart spacecraft destroyed the asteroid Dimorphos in a dress rehearsal of the agency’s kinetic impact technique. 

A Mini Laugh for Today

A Thought for Today

When we have positive thoughts positive results do happen.

This includes finding Mr. or Ms. Right for you. Lord Beltane, or Big Dawg as he prefers to be called, and I dated from a year back in 2000 to 2001, I then broke it off for a man I thought was more stable and better for me. Boy was I wrong I allowed myself to be verbally, emotionally, and mentally abused for 19 years then the last straw came when in anger he destroyed an entire rack full of clean dishes, cups, and glass ware. He had lost his temper many times before but only pushed me once. When putting these two things together and having a history of domestic abuse with other boyfriends and husbands I finally found the excuses I was making of why I couldn’t move out were just that lame excuses. Thanks to some very dear friends and a cousin of mine I was able to move out the beginning of July 2020 and start life as what I thought would be a single woman the rest of this lifetime. So fast forward to September 2020 Big Dawg found me on Facebook through a mutual friend and start out by messaging through there than went to text messages and by the end of the month talking nightly on the phone. I moved in with him at the end of November 2020 and we are trying to plan a very small summer wedding and Handfasting. We have not had a major argument or even screaming to get a point across in the over two years we have lived together. It took us 19 years to find each other again but we both had for a lack of a better term growing up to do.

A little back history of why we are waiting so long to get married and handfasted. See back when we were first dating, he was married with two grammar school age children, NO I did not know this right away or I never would have dated him in the first place. Big Dawgs divorce was finalized in August 2022. I was also married and technically until my divorce is final hopefully by sometime in April, but my husband (not the abusive boyfriend of 19 years) and I have been separated since right after new year in 2000. I left him because he started using heavy duty drugs again among other very not nice reasons.

As you can see in my case taking positive steps to first love and be kind yourself Mr. or Ms. Wonderful maybe around a corner you turn one day. Love is patience and kind.

From US In the Background at WoTC We are Sending This From Our Families to Yours…

Download Animated Valentines Ecards Free download free - forallmetr

Please remember Valentine’s Day is not just for couples or friends with benefits it is a day for everyone to feel some love even if it comes from yourself.

FAIRY CHANGELINGS c. 2018

 

THE COMMENTARY GAZETTE

It was firmly believed, at one time, in Wales, that the Fairies exchanged their own weakly or deformed offspring for the strong children of mortals.  The child supposed to have been left by the Fairies in the cradle, or elsewhere, was commonly called a changeling.  This faith was not confined to Wales; it was as common in Ireland, Scotland, and England, as it was in Wales.  Thus, in Spenser’s “Faery Queen”, reference is made in the following words to this popular error:–

And her base Elfin brood there for thee left; such, men do changelings call, so chang’d by Faeries theft.

“Faery Queen”, Bk. I, c. 10.

The same superstition is thus alluded to by Shakespeare: A lovely boy, stol’n from an Indian king, She never had so sweet a changeling.

“A Midsummer Night’s Dream”, Act II., Sc. 1.

And again, in another of his plays, the Fairy practice of exchanging children is mentioned:       O, that it could be prov’d, That some night-tripping Fairy had exchanged In cradle-clothes our children, where they lay,  And call’d mine, Percy, his Plantagenet: Then would I have his Harry, and he mine.

“Henry IV”., Pt. 1., Act I, Sc. 1.

In Scotland and other countries the Fairies were credited with stealing unbaptized infants, and leaving in their stead poor, sickly, noisy, thin, babies.  But to return to Wales, a poet in “Y Brython”, vol. iii, p. 103, thus sings: Llawer plentyn teg aeth ganddynt, Pan y cym’rynt helynt hir; Oddi ar anwyl dda rieni, I drigfanau difri dir.

Many a lovely child they’ve taken, when long and bitter was the pain; from their parents, loving, dear, To the Fairies’ dread domain….Read More

 

A Laugh for Today

May your Valentine’s Day be full of all kinds of love.

Spell for Today – Attract a New Love Spell Without Ingredients

How Casting Love Spells Without Ingredients Works

When casting spells, any ingredients you use are a way of increasing the power of your spell but they’re also a way of focusing your own intentions. Having a set of ingredients or steps to focus on makes spellcasting more tangible and helps people (I mean myself here lol) set their focus and intention more strongly. Any spell done with ingredients could theoretically be just as effective without any ingredients as long as you know how to manifest your desires and are strong enough in your intentions.

If you think about it, you’ve probably already tried some ingredient-less spells. Who hasn’t blown out a birthday candle and made a wish? This is one of the most simple forms of magick out there; you close your eyes and …

Click here to read the rest of this article from wiccanow.com

Notes on Casting Love Spells without Ingredients

  • So, when casting love spells without ingredients, what are the main points that you have to watch out for? The best piece of advice I can offer here is to really try to be incredibly mindful of what it is that you actually want. It’s so easy to get lost in one’s head and have 100 ideas floating around all at once. Pick one thing and one thing only to focus on with each spell that you cast. If you want a lover, think only about that. Don’t think about how that lover might end up being “the One” and how you might end up with kids and a dog and a house and a car. If that’s going happen it will, however, spiralling down a rabbit hole of imaginary scenarios definitely isn’t going to help your spell! Be as clear and precise as possible.
  • Don’t let your mind go down a rabbit hole, it’ll make you lose your focus and your spell may not have the intended results.
  • I know I said that these are love spells without ingredients, which they are, but in the interest of being as clear with yourself as you can it may be a good idea to sit down with a pen and paper and write down what you would like to achieve with your spell. Spend 5 minutes solidifying what you’re planning to ask for in your spell so that it doesn’t come out as a jumbled set of thoughts with no clear goal. You can also do this without the pen and paper, I just like doing it this way.
  • If you want to, write your concise ideas onto a piece of paper and use it as a petition at the end of both of these love spells without ingredients. Use a lighter and burn the paper with your desires on it at the end of the spell to send the petition out into the world along with your intention.
  • While it’s not necessary, I often like to sit down for 10 or 15 minutes to meditate before I begin spellcasting. It’s a wonderful way to calm your mind and often brings me clarity on a situation.
  • As always, it’s best to cast spells with as few distractions as possible. This means that if you have a dog that needs a walk, a child that needs lunch, a housemate in the middle of a party or a needy cat that wants attention, you should try to appease any or all of those needs before you start your spellwork.
  • Consider working with the moon phases when casting love spells without ingredients. The energy of the full moon is particularly powerful for all spellwork and the new moon is wonderful if you are looking for fresh and new beginnings. If you are doing either of these spells during a full moon, try and sit by a window where the moonlight hits you so that you are charging yourself and your spell with the moon’s power.

Attract a New Love

  1. Close your eyes.
  2. Take 5 deep breaths.
  3. With your eyes still closed, try to empty out your mind completely. Try to blend out the random thoughts that pop up about what you’re eating for dinner and whether you need to go shopping tomorrow or not. (This is difficult, I struggle with this all the time thanks to an overactive imagination and some anxiety.)
  4. When your mind is as clear as you can get it, imagine how having a new love would make you feel. Think about the butterflies you get in your stomach, the intoxicating excitement of those first few heady meetings, the first kiss you might share and the joy of feeling loved. Imagine how it would feel to be wrapped up in this person’s arms and how safe and secure you would feel. Try not to think about how the person might look and instead focus on slipping into the feelings you want when you are with them as this is the important part.
  5. When you are deeply immersed in these feelings of love and with your eyes still closed say

“Lover, come into my life. Lover, let me adore you. Lover, share with me the beauty of life. Lover, now I call you”

  1. Repeat this chant 3 times (3 is a power number), while beaming the feelings you want to experience out into the world.
  2. After the 3rd chant, end the spell by slowly opening your eyes.
  3. Repeat this spell as often as you like until what you desire has manifested itself.

Some of the Witchcraft/Magickal Correspondence for Love

Image result for love flower line divder

Love Magic: The Best Tools & Correspondence for Love Spells

Roses are red, violets are blue, I radiate love, through and through. A simple little love spell perhaps? Well, it’s February and love magic is in the air!

So, not everyone is a huge fan of Valentine’s Day but I say bring it on! I like to consider February love month. It’s a perfect time to focus on fostering positivity and love in your life, and to indulge in some extra self love and care. We can take this time to create new healthy habits, enhance our most special relationships, and discover new ways to focus on nurturing our own wants and needs.

This time of year is just perfect to indulge in the magic that is love. Commercially, the month tends to focus on couples but everyone can benefit from celebrating love once in a while. We can all choose to thrive this month while fostering love and positive relationships with friends, family, pets, and of course with ourselves.

Love Magic: They Love Me, They Love Me Not

Love magic is probably one of the most popular things people want to learn about when they begin their journey into magic. This is a magic that should be beautiful, gentle, warm, and soothing. We all need that feeling of love in our lives in order to feel emotionally strong and vibrant.

What it isn’t however, or shouldn’t be, is an opportunity to bend or manipulate the will of others. The wonderful energy that can blossom from this type of magic should indeed be used to bring more love and fulfillment into your life but not at the expense of others.

Use this magic with wisdom and care. Direct the magic inwards to gather more love for yourself, to draw more love to you, or to grow nourish, and strengthen relationships. Allow the magic to come from a caring and well intentioned place.

So, what elements may we include in these types of spells and rituals? Very happy you asked! Scroll down and keep on reading

Love Magic Correspondence

Best Day of the Week – Friday
Best Moon Phase – Waxing or New
Energy Centre – Heart
Herbs & Plants – anise, basil, cardamom, cinnamon, clove, coriander, dill, fennel, ginger, hibiscus, lavender, lemon balm, parsley, patchouli, rosemary, thyme, vanilla, valerian, yarrow

Flowers – aster, bleeding heart, carnation, cherry blossom, geranium, hyacinth, jasmine, lilac, orchid, rose, tulip

Crystals – amber, amethyst, garnet, lapis lazuli, moonstone, rhodochrosite, rhodonite, rose quartz, ruby, pink topaz

Essential Oils – anise, birch, cardamom, clove, ginger, grapefruit, jasmine, juniper berry, lemongrass, lime, marjoram, myrrh, patchouli, peppermint, rose, rosemary, spearmint, vanilla, vetiver

Colours – pink, red, white

Foods – avocado, banana, Brazil nuts, beets, cherry, chocolate, lemon, lime, orange, passion fruit, peas, pistachio, rhubarb, rye bread, sugar, sweet potato, strawberry, tomato, white wine

Ways to Incorporate Love Magic into your Day, Month, & Year

Click here to read the rest of this article from thewholesomewitch.com

A Laugh for Today – Marriage Jokes

Live on the fun side of marriage with our wife jokes and funny husband jokes.

Marriage can be tough. But for better or for worse, these marriage jokes and wedding puns will have you doubling over laughing. Check out our collection of love jokes* for an extra laugh. (* Coming tomorrow)

MAKE ME A SANDWICH

My husband and I were daydreaming about what we would do if we won the lottery. I started: “I’d hire a cook so that I could just say, ‘Hey, make me a sandwich!’” Thomas shook his head. “Not me. I already have one of those.” —Julie Phelan

SELL IT

As my wife and I prepared for our garage sale, I came across a painting. Looking at the back, I discovered that I had written “To my beautiful wife on our fifth anniversary. I love you … Keith.” Feeling nostalgic about a gift I’d given her 25 years earlier, I showed it to her, thinking we should rehang the picture. After gazing at my message for a few seconds, she replied, “You know, I think a black marker would cover over all that so that we could sell it.” Keith Chambers

IN THE BIRDS SECTION

I was perusing the shelves at a bookstore when a customer asked an employee where the birding section was. After pointing it out, the employee asked, “Is there anything specific you’re looking for?” “Yes,” said the customer. “My husband.” —A.H. via rd.com

DON’T SEND HIM BACK

On my wedding day, my mom told my bride, “No refunds, no exchanges on sale items.” —Glen Zeider

FORGOT ABOUT THE GIFT

My friend Garrick had the solution to forgetting his wife’s birthday and their wedding anniversary: He opened an account with a local florist and provided it with both dates as well as instructions to send flowers and a card signed “Your loving husband, Garrick.” For a few years, it worked. Then one day, Garrick came home on their wedding anniversary. He saw the flowers on the dining room table and said, “What nice flowers. Where did you get them?” —Yefim M. Brodd

ONLY WOMAN THERE

A local lumberyard was having an open house, and my mother really wanted to go. Dad, though, had no interest. After badgering him with no luck, she finally said, “If you don’t go, I’ll be the only woman there.” Dad shrugged. “If I go, you’ll still be the only woman there.” —Gerald E. Bronnenberg

Some of the Witchcraft/Magickal Correspondence for Monday

From gypsywolf.weebly.com

Monday is the second day of the week, named from the Latin Lunae Dies, day of the moon, reflecting the Roman feast days dedicated to the moon and moon goddess, Luna.  The goddess Selene is her Greek counterpart.

Monday

Latin: Lunae Dies, day of the Moon
French: lundi
Italian: lunedi
Spanish: lunes [from Luna, “Moon”]
Anglo-Saxon: monandaeg, “the moon’s day”
German: Montag
Dutch: maandag

Rules: Peace, sleep, prophetic dreams, psychic awareness, spirituality, compassion, love, home, gardening, purification, healing and fertility.
Colors: Silver and White
Planet: Moon
Metal:  Silver
Stones: Aquamarine, Beryl, Chalcedony, Crystal (quartz), Moonstone, Mother-of-pearl, Pearl, Sapphire, Selenite
Herbs: Calamus, Camphor, Coconut, Gardenia, Grape, Jasmine, Lemon, Lemon Balm, Lotus, Myrrh, Poppy seed, Sandalwood, Willow
Zodiac: Cancer

A Thought for Today – Poem “I Go”

Written by: Zakhe Michael Mcunu

I GO

I go where love is the key
I go where only hope seize
Let me go to the eternity
Where I will see splendid beauty
The beauty of stars and angels
Where the flowers blossom like in summer

There in the fallen misty mountains
There i shall see the great plains of Africa
And little houses looking like ants colonies
I go where all turmoil shall vanish
This is the home of all the kings of ancient times

Come with me so our names shall be remembered
Follow me to the bliss of pagan souls
Come hear how they are chanting your name
Hear the captain at the end of the bridge

From lovepoemsandpoets.com

A Laugh for Today – 50 Valentine’s Day Pickup Lines That Will Make Your Beloved Blush

From Reader’s Digest

Romance and humor? Win-win! Get ready to sweep your sweetheart off their feet with these charming Valentine’s Day pickup lines.

Cupid-approved Valentine’s Day pickup lines

Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate all things love, whether it’s an über romantic relationship that gives you heart eyes or a budding romance that produces nonstop butterflies. And with the beloved holiday fast approaching, you may be looking for fun Valentine’s Day ideas to plan with your better half or scouring the internet for funny valentine’s quotes to write in their card. There’s so much to do for your sweetie, after all! But if you really want to make them feel special and give them a giggle, try breaking out some Valentine’s Day pickup lines this year.

The great thing about Valentine’s Day pickup lines is you can tailor them to fit the person you’re flirting with. Some people love using a cheesy pickup line on a fresh Tinder match, whereas others use a romantic line to make their spouse feel special. That’s why we’ve included a mix of romantic, smooth and downright hilarious lines to use on your valentine. Enjoy! And don’t forget to browse through (and bookmark) our favorite pickup lines for guys and girls.

Romantic Valentine’s Day pickup lines

1. I’m going to need a map this Valentine’s Day … you know, since I’ll be lost in your eyes all night.

2. Care to spend the night learning each other’s love languages?

3. Are you a priceless piece of art? Because I’ve been admiring you for quite some time.

4. Does heaven know it’s missing an angel this close to Valentine’s Day?

5. What do you do for work? You know, besides being the most beautiful person on the planet?

6. I think Cupid’s got my tongue, because I’m absolutely speechless in your presence.

7. Disney World has a reputation for being the happiest place on earth … but whoever said that clearly hasn’t been in your arms.

8. I have to admit: I didn’t believe in love at first sight, until I saw you walk by. Care to do it again and test the theory?

9. Is it OK if we take a picture together? I’d love to preserve the memory of meeting a real angel.

10. What a coincidence—my dream person comes to life, just in time for Valentine’s Day. It’s fate!

Funny Valentine’s Day pickup lines

11. I bet your kisses put Hershey’s to shame.

12. Excuse me, can you help me pick up my jaw? I seemed to have dropped it just looking at you.

13. Did you look at the Valentine’s Day menu? It has me-n-u all over it.

14. Tell Google to pack it up, because you’re everything I’m searching for this Valentine’s Day.

15. I got a special sweater just for Valentine’s Day—it’s made of [boyfriend/girlfriend] material.

16. You may not like raisins … but how would you feel about a date on Valentine’s Day?

17. Do you fish? I’m asking because you really reeled me in with that smile.

18. What do you and I have in common with a pair of shoes? We’re solemates!

19. Are you a judge? Because I’m feeling the need to court you right now.

20. I did the math: You + me = 2gether 4ever.

Short Valentine’s Day pickup lines

21. You’re sweeter than a box of Valentine’s Day chocolates.

22. Be mine?

23. Love is on the menu tonight—eat up, valentine!

24. Call the doctor—because you have me lovesick.

25. My stomach is in forget-me-knots just thinking about you!

26. Do you have a name? Or should I just call you my date?

27. My candy heart is all yours, valentine.

28. Call me a bee—because I’m buzzing about you, honey.

29. You’re looking valenfine!

30. I’m definitely falling for you—care to catch me?

Valentine’s Day pickup lines for your crush

31. Are you Cupid? Because you’ve shot a love arrow right through my heart.

32. You’re just the type of cutie pie I ordered for Valentine’s Day.

33. Call me a telephone—because I’m looking to give you a ring soon!

34. Roses are red, violets are blue … care to meet me and grab dinner for two?

35. You + me + a box of chocolates + cuddling on the couch = the perfect Valentine’s Day. You in?

36. Ugh, I lost my favorite teddy bear—can I snuggle with you instead?

37. I got you a pair of sneakers for Valentine’s Day … figured you’d need them after running through my head so much!

38. I reserved an extra special spot for you on Valentine’s Day—in my arms.

39. We could stop and smell the roses, or I could bring you a dozen on Valentine’s Day. Your choice.

40. I hope you know CPR—because you just took my breath away.

Valentine’s Day pickup lines for your spouse

41. Tonight, don’t forget to wear what looks best on you: your smile.

42. Don’t worry—if your hand feels heavy on Valentine’s Day, I’ll be glad to hold it for you.

43. This Valentine’s Day, let’s make an exchange: I’ll give you tulips, and you give me two lips. Sound fair?

44. I don’t need candy hearts this Valentine’s Day—I already have the biggest sweetheart by my side.

45. Care to show Cupid that arrow he shot all those years ago is sharper than ever?

46. Roses are red, but some are pink, let’s recreate our first date on Valentine’s Day—what do you think?

47. Merriam-Webster called and asked me to define “true love” … mind if we snap a picture together so I can send it their way?

48. Well, call me Planters—because I’ve been nuts about you for years!

49. I don’t think I could possibly love you any amour.

50. Are you a dove? Because I’ve been cooing over you for quite some time.

Some of the Witchcraft/Magickal Correspondence for Monday

From otherworldlyoracle.com

We often dread Mondays, but Monday has a special kind of magick that might make you think differently. Monday is named after the Moon. Therefore, all magick related to the moon can also be performed on a Monday! No more waiting for the right moon cycle if you have an immediate need. Cast spells and perform rituals for the following intentions: love, healing, intuition, psychic abilities, dreams, emotional balance, friendship, purification, fertility, shadow and spirit work.

  • Magical Intentions: intuition, dreams, shadow work, psychic abilities, emotional balance, friendship
  • Crystals/Metals: silver, moonstone, pearl, fluorite, amethyst, quartz, sapphire
  • Herbs: moonflower, jasmine, gardenia, white rose
  • Gods/Goddesses: Thoth, Selene, Diana, Artemis, Luna, Hecate, Phoebe, Kalfu

February 6th to 12th Astronomy Picture of the Day

These are the Astronomy Picture of the Day for the proceeding week starting on the past Monday through this Sunday. Just click on the hyperlink next to the date for the pictures you want to see.

2023 February 12: Mammatus Clouds over Nebraska
2023 February 11: Magellanic Clouds over Chile
2023 February 10: ZTF meets ATLAS
2023 February 09: Nacreous Clouds over Lapland
2023 February 08: Stellar Wind Shaped Nebula RCW 58
2023 February 07: A Comet and Two Dippers
2023 February 06: In the Heart of the Rosette Nebula

A Little Humor for Your Day – Being A Witch is…. c. 2016

Being a Witch is…

Trying to type a Ritual on the computer and having the cat walk on the keyboard.

Spending six months weaving the most beautiful Altar cloth you can imagine, then having someone spill wine and candle wax on it during it’s first Ritual.

Deciding to Work Skyclad because you keep burning your Robe on the Point Candles and Bonfire.

Having the neighbor ask you if you have been born again, and replying that you have, indeed, been born again… and again and again and again….

Hoping that the High Priestess is careful with her Moon Crown as she gives you The Five-fold Kiss.

Trying to explain to the Realtor why you need an extra bedroom at least nine-feet in diameter.

Then telling that same Realtor that you can’t take that perfect house that is so affordable, because the fireplace is in the west instead of the South.

Setting up a Circle in the park and discovering that there is a bee hive nearby.

Doing an outdoor midnight ritual and having the neighbor call the cops, thinking that you’re a prowler.

Saluting the Goddess at the Watchtower with a Sword and poking a hole in the Temple ceiling.

Deciding not to wear your new Horned Helmet to the outdoor Sabbat because it’s deer hunting season.

Trying to go home after a skyclad Circle and discovering that the Coven joker has hidden all of the clothes.

Casting the Circle for the first time and being so proud with yourself for doing it right… then looking down to discover that you’re wearing your Robe inside out.

Wondering how to get rid of the result of your latest love spell.

Seeing a girl at the supermarket. She’s wearing a Pentagram, a silver High Priestess Bracelet, a runic belt buckle, a Necklace of acorns and has the Goddess tattooed on her shoulder and is wearing a t-shirt that says ‘Sexy Witch’. So you go up to her and ask, “Are you in the Craft?” and she hisses back, “Shhhh! It’s supposed to be a secret!”

Going to sleep during visualization exercises.

Getting a new familiar… who isn’t housebroken.

Realizing that your grammar is not so bad, now that you’ve read something by Ophiel.

Eleven cops and the sheriff on your doorstep, asking for Initiation.

Reading Aleister Crowley with a straight face.

Working magick every day… just for the hexercise.

Trying to remain Gardnerian after mid-winter.

Your parents install a smoke alarm… in the room you’ve been using as a Temple.

Your cat eats the mugwort growing in the window box… and starts having visions.

Queuing up for the Ritual bath in order of Initiation…. because the High Priestess is trying to get all the hot water.

Taking a Ritual Bath at the Covenstead when seven other Witches have just been in the tub.

Being dragged to an outdoor Halloween Sabbat… Skyclad.

Acquiring a reputation after you accidently sat down on the Cauldron.

Having to cut a gate in the Circle to go to the bathroom.

Explaining to the fireman that the smoke billowing from under your door is only incense, and that you were burning incense because you were casting a….

Seeing your past incarnation.. as a postal clerk.

When you use Cord magick and find yourself all tied up.

Having to actually try to fit 13 people into a nine foot Circle.

Six bottles of wine under the Altar… with two inches left in each.

Toasting the Goddess so often that you’ve become a borderline alcoholic.

That sinking sensation you get when you accidently drop your Athame point-down and then notice that you can’t move your left foot.

Having a nice Winter Sabbat where your High Priest gets a new Horned Helmet and two minutes later, he gores you in the ass.

Not being able to argue with the High Priestess without getting flogged.

Suddenly realizing just how long it takes to hand copy a Book of Shadows.

Learning never to schedule a Circle on a good TV night.

Buying an abandoned traffic circle to use as the first drive-in Covenstead.

Spending three months trying to learn Theban because the Book of Shadows that you’re copying is written in it.

Trying to convince the police that the baggies that they found were really full of consecrated herbs.

Not being able to banish a spirit because the animal whose shape it assumed is on the endangered species list.

Trying to remember the combination of herbs that turned your tea strainer into gold.

Explaining to the doctor how your Athame slipped from your hand and stuck into your foot.

Explaining to the school principal that your child could not have possibly been the one who changed the teacher into a frog since she isn’t Initiated to a Degree that permits her to do such spells.

Explaining to your boss that you have to leave early on October 31 because it is “a day of holy obligation.”

Trying to explain to your roommate that he has to leave because it is the Full Moon.

Discovering that you engraved your Athame with the wrong symbols.

Falling to the ground after a wild dance and sitting skyclad on a bee.