Sorry for Chaotic Energy in Today’s Posts

I am sorry if today’s posts pick up my chaotic energy, but it is an extremely stress filled day. After being with a man for 4 years I married him a little over 25 years ago than I left him after 18 months and had no reason to seek a divorce until now. The man changed from sweet, sober, and caring to someone I barely recognized as he went back to using heroin. He became sulky, mean, and downright a toxic person. Today I may meet him in a courtroom after only seeing him twice via a zoom courtroom appearance since 2001 for our divorce needless to say I am over the top anxious about this possible meeting.  I thank the Goddess for answering my plea to not allow him to travel from Chicago to Ottawa today with harm to no one for this hearing because a yucky winter storm is to hit Chicago pretty hard today but not so bad in Ottawa where I live. As far as I know he never got his driver’s license back and I doubt anyone would take a chance driving in the weather that is coming or started already in Chicago just for him to upset me. It wouldn’t matter if he did show up because he has not filed the proper paperwork to be able to say anything in court. I don’t think he will even be allowed in the actual courtroom. I now think the only reason he showed up on the Zoom dates was to rattle me and he seceded doing that both times and now as I said I am a shaking, nervous wreck this morning which of course through me into a bad fibromyalgia flare. The mind can play cruel jokes when faced with seeing an abuser of any kind. I allowed myself to put up with mental and emotional abuse for those 18 months and a reconciliation attempt that lasted 6 months after he lied to me saying he was clean and sober again which I figured out he wasn’t.

So, if you have time and want to please say a prayer that I make it through this day without a major meltdown due to stress. Thanks for reading this explanation of the chaotic energy flowing from posts today.

I will not be doing the afternoon posts or answering emails today until I get home from court and have had a chance to calm down.


4 thoughts on “Sorry for Chaotic Energy in Today’s Posts

  1. This must have been a very harrowing day. I hope you have received the emotional strength you need. Once you have eventually gone through what you need to, may you feel a surge of healing power and strength that you need for the better days and life ahead, knowing that others are willing the best for you. I have been busy, but have kept you very much in mind over the last couple of days. Things will become so much better when you really and truly begin to believe, deeply within yourself, that your abuser, a psychic vampire, has no power over you that you do not give him, and will never have any again, he is really only a very weak empty person, who wants your power, and has been draining you of your joy of life because he has none of his own. Every good wish. May the universe send blessings your way from now onwards. Sent from Mail for Windows

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  2. Big huge hug to you! I’m still trapped in an abusive marriage. Mostly emotional, verbal and financial. It’s the financial that has me trapped -for now.
    So I can empathize with you and the struggle you have. I am sending you the strongest vibes I can, for strength, courage, and peace at heart. That you will radiate strength in a way that is more powerful than the cosmos!!
    That you have done all that you did with such strength and will all that you do even now, that’s some BAMF stuff right there!

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