A Laugh for Today – Puns

Puns from Reader’s Digest

LIBRARIAN BE A BOOKKEEPER

Could a … … librarian be called a bookkeeper? … referee be a game warden? … dairyman be a cowboy? … cabinetmaker be the president? —Submitted by J. Lee

VILLAGE IDIOM

There’s a guy in town who walks around talking to himself using only figurative language. We call him the Village Idiom. —Albert Sloan

IN A NUTSHELL

I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell. —Gary Delaney, comedian

Spell for Today – Healing Moon Chant – Printable

Some of the Witchcraft/Magickal Correspondence Substitutions

(SIDE NOT: Sandalwood oil can be used in place of any other essential)

 

4 March 2023 Southern Hemisphere’s Planetary Positions

If you need to calculate the planetary positions for a specific use and time, click on this link

Currentplanetarypositions.com

To figure out GMT (Greenwich Mean Time) to your local time use this link  

For Your Local Time and Date 

Southeastern Hemisphere

This local time is in Sao Paulo, Brazil, South America

4 March 2023
06:00 pm GMT 3:00 PM BRT
Zodiac: Tropical (Standard Western)

Sun:13 Pisces 53
Moon:13 Leo 14
Mercury:03 Pisces 05
Venus:15 Aries 13
Mars:20 Gemini 38
Jupiter:12 Aries 43
Saturn:29 Aquarius 40
Uranus:15 Taurus 39
Neptune:24 Pisces 42
Pluto:29 Capricorn 35

True Lunar Node:05 Taurus 24 Rx
Mean Lunar Node:06 Taurus 53 Rx

Lilith (Black Moon):06 Leo 11

Chiron:14 Aries 02
Ceres:04 Libra 02 Rx
Pallas:11 Cancer 44
Juno:26 Aries 06
Vesta:10 Aries 57

Eris:24 Aries 09

Fire:8
Earth:4
Air:3
Water:4
Cardinal:9
Fixed:6
Mutable:4

Southern Hemisphere

This local time is in Cape Town, South Africa

4 March 2023
01:00 pm GMT 3:00 PM SAST
Zodiac: Tropical (Standard Western)

Sun:13 Pisces 41
Moon:10 Leo 45
Mercury:02 Pisces 44
Venus:14 Aries 58
Mars:20 Gemini 33
Jupiter:12 Aries 40
Saturn:29 Aquarius 39
Uranus:15 Taurus 39
Neptune:24 Pisces 41
Pluto:29 Capricorn 35

True Lunar Node:05 Taurus 26 Rx
Mean Lunar Node:06 Taurus 54 Rx

Lilith (Black Moon):06 Leo 10

Chiron:14 Aries 02
Ceres:04 Libra 04 Rx
Pallas:11 Cancer 42
Juno:25 Aries 59
Vesta:10 Aries 51

Eris:24 Aries 09

Fire:8
Earth:4
Air:3
Water:4
Cardinal:9
Fixed:6
Mutable:4

Southwestern Hemisphere

This local time is in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

4 March 2023
04:00 am GMT 3:00 PM AEDT
Zodiac: Tropical (Standard Western)

Sun:13 Pisces 18
Moon:06 Leo 18
Mercury:02 Pisces 05
Venus:14 Aries 30
Mars:20 Gemini 24
Jupiter:12 Aries 35
Saturn:29 Aquarius 36
Uranus:15 Taurus 38
Neptune:24 Pisces 40
Pluto:29 Capricorn 35

True Lunar Node:05 Taurus 29 Rx
Mean Lunar Node:06 Taurus 55 Rx

Lilith (Black Moon):06 Leo 07

Chiron:14 Aries 01
Ceres:04 Libra 08 Rx
Pallas:11 Cancer 39
Juno:25 Aries 47
Vesta:10 Aries 41

Eris:24 Aries 09

Fire:8
Earth:4
Air:3
Water:4
Cardinal:9
Fixed:6
Mutable:4

Some of the Witchcraft/Magickal Correspondence for Friday

 

Friday’s Witchery

 

Love magick is a perennial popular topic. However, there is more to this topic than meets the eye. There are many enchanting layers here for us to explore on this day of the week. What about creating a loving home, or producing a loving and nurturing family? What about keeping your intimate relationships vital and on track? How about promoting happy, healthy, and enduring friendships? See, there is more to be considered than just the “You shall be mine…” type of fictional love spell.

Don’t forget that many of the deities associated with Fridays are also parents. So, yes, while this is the day to work on romance, sex, and love spells, there is additional magick to be considered here, which makes Fridays a more well-rounded and bigger opportunity for witchery than many folks ever truly realize. The truest, strongest magick always comes from the heart.

 

Source

Book of Witchery – Spells, Charms & Correspondences For Every Day of the Week
Ellen Dugan

 

Goddess Of The Day: BENTEN

BENTEN

 

Shigato Hajime (Japan)

Themes: Luck; Wealth; Beauty

Symbols: Boats; Dragons; Guitars; Snakes; Saltwater

About Benten:

As the Japanese goddess steering the New Year’s Treasure Ship, Benten is a perfect figure to call on for financial improvements this year. She is the only goddess of luck in Japan and is referred to as queen of the seas and patroness of gamblers.

Japanese women invoke her to bring beauty and fortune into their lives. Benten is depicted as riding a golden dragon, playing a biwa (guitar), and sending out white snakes with her missies. Her robe bears a jewel that grants wishes.

To Do Today:

To welcome Benten’s prosperity into your home, sprinkle a little saltwater on the threshold today. Or, to generate beauty within and without, soak in a bath of Epsom salts while listening to guitar music. The Shigato Hajime festival honors the beginning of the work week

in Japan, where it is believed that good omens for work begin today. If you want to get a peek at how your employment will fare this year, try divination by dice (a traditional gambler’s tool). Hold one die in your hand, ask for Benten to provide a sign, then roll it. The results can be interpreted as follows:

(1) a negative omen; (2) feeling torn between two good options; (3) a good omen; (4) financial security (5) not much material change, but improvements in interoffice relationships (6) an excellent omen; roll again. If you get two more sixes, Benten’s treasures will be yours!

By Patricia Telesco

Crystals for Empaths

Witchcraft Symbols, Terms and Definitions

Widdershins

From moonlitpriestess.com

Some terms listed on this page may seem like common-sense words; however, they’re defined here as most often used in Wicca, Witchcraft, and general Paganism. Some terms have a different meaning in general society, other religions, and other sub-cultures.

Please keep this in mind when learning the terms as they’re listed here.

Did you come across a term on this site or another Wiccan/Pagan source that you’re unfamiliar with or uncertain of and can’t find it on this page? Please send us a message so we can add it to this page for you!

If you already know what term you’re looking for, you can use Ctrl-F (Windows) or Cmd-F (Mac) to search. Likewise, if you’re using a tablet or smartphone, you may use your browser’s “Find” setting to search this page.

Widdershins:

counter-sunwise movement (counter-clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere); generally associated with negative (as in aggressive, banishing, binding, cleansing, etc.) magick.

From Spells8.com

Widdershins

Motion of energy directed in a counter-clockwise movement. This can be used to undo or reverse a spell.

March 3 Today in History

Today’s Important Historical Events

1575 Indian Mughal Emperor Akbar defeats Bengali army at the Battle of Tukaroi

1857 Second Opium War: France and the United Kingdom declare war on China

1861 Alexander II of Russia signs the Emancipation Manifesto, freeing serfs and granting them the full rights of free citizens [O.S. Feb 19]

1887 Anne Sullivan begins teaching 6 year old blind-deaf Helen Keller

1917 1st major strike of the Russian “February Revolution” starts at the giant Putilov factory in Petrograd [OS=Feb 18]

1921 Toronto’s Dr Banting & Dr Best announce discovery of insulin

1939 Mahatma Gandhi begins a fast in Mumbai (Bombay) to protest against autocratic rule in India

1943 Battle of the Bismarck Sea: Australian and American air forces devastate Japanese navy convoy

1991 Los Angeles police officers severely beat motorist Rodney King, the beating is famously captured on amateur video and later leads to riots when the police officers are acquitted

Today’s Historical Events

78 Origin of Saka Era (India)

468 St Simplicius elected to succeed Catholic Pope Hilarius

473 Glycerius appointed a puppet Emperor of the Western Empire by Burgundian king and patrician Gundobad (deposed 474)

493 Ostrogoten King Theodorik the Great beats Odoaker

1284 Statute of Rhuddlan incorporated the Principality of Wales into England

1409 Austrian civil war ends

1431 Bishop Gabriele Condulmer elected as Pope Eugene IV

1575 Indian Mughal Emperor Akbar defeats Bengali army at the Battle of Tukaroi

Today’s Historical Events in Flim and TV

1958 KTVU TV channel 2 in Oakland-San Francisco, California (IND) 1st broadcast

1966 WRFT (now WVFT) TV channel 27 in Roanoke, VA (IND) begins broadcasting

1975 1st People’s Choice Awards: John Wayne & Barbra Streisand win (Motion Pictures) and Alan Alda, Telly Savalas & Mary Tyler Moore win (TV)

1985 “Moonlighting” with Cybill Shepard & Bruce Willis premieres on ABC TV in the US

1990 Carole Gist (20) is the 1st African American to be crowned Miss USA in Wichita, Kansas

2002 33rd NAACP Image Awards: “Ali” wins Outstanding Motion Picture

2005 American rapper 50 Cent releases his album “The Massacre” (2005 Billboard Album of the Year, Grammy Award nomination for Best Rap Album 2006)

2006 37th NAACP Image Awards: “Crash” wins Outstanding Motion Picture

Today’s Historical Events in Music

1794 1st performance of Joseph Haydn’s 101st Symphony in D (“The Clock”) at the Hanover Rooms, in London, England

1842 1st performance of Felix Mendelssohn‘s 3rd (“Scottish”) Symphony in Leipzig Gewandhaus

1875 Georges Bizet‘s last and greatest opera “Carmen” premieres at the Opéra-Comique in Paris, France

1931 “The Star-Spangled Banner” officially becomes US national anthem by congressional resolution; lyrics by Francis Scott Key in 1814, set to John Stafford Smith’s 18th century tune “The Anacreontic Song”

1931 Cab Calloway records “Minnie the Moocher” (Jazz’s 1st million seller)

1940 American bandleader Artie Shaw records “Frenesi” on RCA Victor label

1944 Premiere performance of US Army Corporal Samuel Barber‘s 2nd Symphony by the Boston Symphony, conducted by Serge Koussevitzky in Boston, Massachusetts

1955 Elvis Presley makes his 1st TV appearance on a broadcast of radio show “Louisiana Hayride”

Today’s Historical Events in Sports

1841 3rd Grand National: Horatio Powell wins aboard 14/1 Charity; first mare to win the race

1847 9th Grand National: Denny Wynne wins aboard 10/1 Mathew; regarded as the first Irish-trained horse to win the race

1852 14th Grand National: Alec Goodman wins first of 2 GN victories (1866) aboard Miss Mowbray

1869 31st Grand National: George Stevens wins his 4th GN aboard 100/7 outsider The Colonel; repeats with back-to-back victories the following year

1883 In the series decider England beats Scotland, 2 tries to 1 at Raeburn Place, Edinburgh to win the inaugural Home Nations Rugby Championship with an undefeated record

1904 England cricket all-rounder Bernard Bosanquet takes 6 for 51 as tourists dismiss Australia for 171 in the 4th Test in Sydney to regain the Ashes; take an unassailable, 3-1 series lead

1920 Montreal Canadiens scores NHL record 16 goals beating Quebec Bulldogs

1950 National-American Football League reverts to calling itself the NFL after 3 months

March 3, 2023 Daily Horoscopes

Click here to read Georgia Nicols Daily Horoscopes

Moon Alert

Avoid shopping or major decisions from 9 AM to 10:30 AM EST today (6 AM to 7:30 AM PST). After that, the Moon moves from Cancer into Leo.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Steer clear of power struggles with parents and bosses this morning. Don’t try to prove anything. On the other hand, you don’t have to be a doormat. (Not your style.) Later in the day, entertaining diversions movies, sports events and fun times with kids will delight.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Squabbles with daily contacts, siblings, relatives and neighbours might take place this morning. Essentially, these are power struggles or ego trips. Don’t get involved. Take the high road. As the day wears on, you will love to cocoon at home. Send out for pizza.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Money fights or arguments about possessions might take place this morning. Don’t get sucked into these disagreements because nobody wins. After all, your objective today is to be happy and have a good time. Life is short (and fat).

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Be patient and agreeable this morning to avoid arguments with loved ones. Power struggles are likely with many people today. For your own peace of mind don’t be one of them. Later in the day, financial matters will be a priority. Stay on top of your cash flow.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Tempers might flare this morning; however, after the Moon enters your sign, you will the advantage over all the other signs. Your luck will be slightly better! Why not test it by asking the universe for a favour? Expect to be more emotionally excitable today.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Be patient with friends and members of groups this morning to avoid arguments and power struggles. (You don’t need this.) It’s Friday, and you want to have a great day. Enjoy being low key and watching from the sidelines because that will feel best for you today.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Avoid arguments with parents, bosses or authority figures (including the police) this morning. However, after the Moon changes signs, you’ll feel sociable! Call a friend or get involved with a club or organization because this will please you today.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Steer clear of controversial subjects this morning because things will go south in a New York minute. Bad way to start your day. Plus, there are none so deaf as those who are wearing headphones. With the Moon high in your chart today, people notice you. Some seem to know personal details about your private life. Oops.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Be patient with financial disputes this morning, especially about shared property. Look for a win-win solution. Later in the day, travel will appeal because you want to do something to expand your horizons. If you can’t travel, be a tourist in your own city. Learn something new!

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Be patient with partners, close friends and loved ones this morning. It’s curious how mornings are such a testing time for everyone. It’s easy to be impatient, combative and sometimes nasty. But then, this can ruin everyone’s day – so who wins? Short trips and interesting discussions will appeal today.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Arguments about health issues or your job might be a distraction in the morning. Don’t even go there. Instead, be cooperative with others because today, you will have to go more than halfway when dealing with those who are closest to you because the Moon is opposite your sign. Factoid.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Avoid romantic squabbles. Be patient with your kids. Later in the day, look for ways to be supportive and helpful to someone because this will make you feel valued. Your personal sense of self-respect will increase. It feels good to be kind.

If Your Birthday Is Today

Actress Julie Bowen (1970) shares your birthday today. You are determined and versatile. From an early age, you began to expect big things for yourself. You love to prepare for anything. Simplicity is the key to your life this year. Take charge of your health. Stay grounded and levelheaded. Work to accomplish your goals.

March 3, 2023 Moon Goddess Current Phase

You can use this link to go forward or backward in time for Moon phase information. If you are curious, you can even find out what phase the Moon was in when you or anyone else was born.

From MoonGiant.com

The Moon’s current phase for today and tonight is a Waxing Gibbous phase. Visible through most of the night sky setting a few hours before sunrise. This phase is when the moon is more than 50% illuminated but not yet a Full Moon. The phase lasts about 7 days with the moon becoming more illuminated each day until the Full Moon. During a Waxing Gibbous the moon rises in the east in mid-afternoon and is high in the eastern sky at sunset. The word Gibbous first appeared in the 14th century and has its roots in the Latin word “gibbosus” meaning humpbacked.

Visit the March 2023 Moon Phases Calendar to see all the daily moon phase for this month.

Today’s Waxing Gibbous Phase

The Waxing Gibbous on March 3 has an illumination of 86%. This is the percentage of the Moon illuminated by the Sun. The illumination is constantly changing and can vary up to 10% a day. On March 3 the Moon is 11.12 days old. This refers to how many days it has been since the last New Moon. It takes 29.53 days for the Moon to orbit the Earth and go through the lunar cycle of all 8 Moon phases.

Phase Details

Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Illumination: 86%
Moon Age: 11.12 days
Moon Angle: 0.49
Moon Distance: 405,309.66 km
Sun Angle: 0.54
Sun Distance: 148,319,395.02 km

The 8 Lunar Phases

There are 8 lunar phases the Moon goes through in its 29.53 days lunar cycle. The 4 major Moon phases are Full Moon, New Moon, First Quarter and Last Quarter. Between these major phases, there are 4 minor ones: the Waxing Crescent, Waxing Gibbous, Waning Gibbous and Waning Crescent. For more info on the Moon Cycle and on each phase check out Wikipedia Lunar Phase page.

Useful Moon Resources

March 3, 2023 Northern Hemisphere’s Planetary Positions

If you need to calculate the planetary positions for a specific use and time, click on this link

Currentplanetarypositions.com

To figure out GMT (Greenwich Mean Time) to your local time use this link  

For Your Local Time and Date 

Northwestern Hemisphere

This local time is in Los Angeles, California, USA

March 03, 2023
11:00 pm GMT 3:00 PM PST
Zodiac: Tropical (Standard Western)

Sun:13 Pisces 06
Moon:03 Leo 50
Mercury:01 Pisces 43
Venus:14 Aries 15
Mars:20 Gemini 18
Jupiter:12 Aries 32
Saturn:29 Aquarius 34
Uranus:15 Taurus 37
Neptune:24 Pisces 40
Pluto:29 Capricorn 34

True Lunar Node:05 Taurus 31 Rx
Mean Lunar Node:06 Taurus 55 Rx

Lilith (Black Moon):06 Leo 06

Chiron:14 Aries 00
Ceres:04 Libra 11 Rx
Pallas:11 Cancer 37
Juno:25 Aries 40
Vesta:10 Aries 35

Eris:24 Aries 09

Fire:8
Earth:4
Air:3
Water:4
Cardinal:9
Fixed:6
Mutable:4

Northern Hemisphere

This local time is in Chicago, Illinois, USA

March 03, 2023
09:00 pm GMT 3:00 PM CST
Zodiac: Tropical (Standard Western)

Sun:13 Pisces 01
Moon:02 Leo 50
Mercury:01 Pisces 35
Venus:14 Aries 09
Mars:20 Gemini 16
Jupiter:12 Aries 31
Saturn:29 Aquarius 34
Uranus:15 Taurus 37
Neptune:24 Pisces 40
Pluto:29 Capricorn 34

True Lunar Node:05 Taurus 32 Rx
Mean Lunar Node:06 Taurus 56 Rx

Lilith (Black Moon):06 Leo 05

Chiron:14 Aries 00
Ceres:04 Libra 12 Rx
Pallas:11 Cancer 36
Juno:25 Aries 37
Vesta:10 Aries 33

Eris:24 Aries 09

Fire:8
Earth:4
Air:3
Water:4
Cardinal:9
Fixed:6
Mutable:4

Northeastern Hemisphere

This local time is in Frankfurt, Germany, Europe

3 March 2023
02:00 pm GMT 3:00 PM CET
Zodiac: Tropical (Standard Western)

Sun:12 Pisces 43
Moon:29 Cancer 23
Mercury:01 Pisces 05
Venus:13 Aries 48
Mars:20 Gemini 09
Jupiter:12 Aries 27
Saturn:29 Aquarius 32
Uranus:15 Taurus 37
Neptune:24 Pisces 39
Pluto:29 Capricorn 34

True Lunar Node:05 Taurus 35 Rx
Mean Lunar Node:06 Taurus 57 Rx

Lilith (Black Moon):06 Leo 03

Chiron:13 Aries 59
Ceres:04 Libra 15 Rx
Pallas:11 Cancer 34
Juno:25 Aries 27
Vesta:10 Aries 25

Eris:24 Aries 09

Fire:7
Earth:4
Air:3
Water:5
Cardinal:10
Fixed:5
Mutable:4