Laugh-A-Day for Nov. 9th – Redneck Pagan Giggles

Redneck Pagan Giggles

1.  Does your Ceremonial Garb consist of cutoffs and a tube top?

2  Do you think “Family Tradition” is a dating club?

3.  Have you reached 3rd degree, but not 3rd grade?

4.  Is your coven’s secret names for the God and Goddess “Cooter” and
“SweetCheeks”?

5.  Does your ceremonial Chalice say “Budweiser” on it?  (2 pts if it says
“Pabst”)

6. Do you consider chewing tobacco a sacred herb?

7.  Does your circle dance include the words “dosey-do”?

8.  Is your altar pentacle a photo of John Wayne’s star on the Hollywood Walk
of Fame?

9.  Did your coven choose its High Priest at a belching contest?

10.  Did your coven choose its High Priestess at a wet t-shirt contest?

11.  Does your anointing oil smell like “Old Spice”?

12.  Have you ever refilled your chalice from a keg?

13. Does your outdoor circle have defunct washing machines for quarter altars?

14. Do you do your cakes and ale with a can of Pabst and Little Debbies?

15. Does your Pantheon include Yukon Jack, Jim Beam and St. Pauli Girl?

16. Does your ritual music include Johnny Cash singing “Ring of Fire”?

17. Do you think the Wiccan Rede is good for making twig furniture?

18.  Do you believe that the Pentagram is a Western Union message to 5 people?

19.  Does your altar cloth say “Holiday Inn” or “Howard Johnson’s”?

20. Does your Goddess picture say “Miss September” at the bottom?

21. Does your God statue look a little too much like Elvis Presley?

22.  Have you ever written a spell on the back of a Denny’s menu?

23.  Have you ever canceled a coven meeting to watch Pay-per-View wrestling on TV?

24.  Have you ever called the National Enquirer because you raised a potato that looked like the Willendorf Goddess?

25.  Have you EVER cast a love spell on livestock?

Daily Feng Shui Tip for Nov. 9th – ‘Chaos Never Dies’

The energies associated with this day might say that ‘Chaos Never Dies’ but remaining cool, calm and collected in the face of chaos can be as easy as taking four drops of Bach Rescue Remedy flower essence under the tongue, three times a day for as many days as it takes to assume a state of harmony and peace. Chaos will die quickly with this proven anxiety easer in hand.

By Ellen Whitehurst for Astrology.com

Your Charm for November 9th is The Dorje

Your Charm for Today

The Dorje

Today’s Meaning:        

You are at a physical peak–particularly from a sexual perspective. Enjoy the next few weeks, for they can be remarkable if you let them.        

General Description:        

In India and Tibet the Dorje or Thunderbolt of Jupiter, is a favorite and greatly valued talisman. It is worn to protect against magic, all spiritual evils and to bring abundance, fruitfulness, and riches. The Dorje is shaped much like a dumb bell with pointed ends, and is the symbol of power and indestructibility. It is supposed to overcome the Buddhist gods Ahi and Vrittra, the serpents, which the Buddhists believe swallow up the waters and cause drought, starvation and death; compelling the serpents to disgorge the waters, and to pour down the fertilizing showers.

Your Animal Spirit for November 9th is Fox

Your Animal Spirit for Today
November 9, 2013

Fox

Fox medicine represents the ability to blend in. She can change colors to blend with the seasons—becoming almost invisible against a backdrop of snow or foliage. Fox also has an amazing sense of smell that enables her to sniff out dangerous situations. Be like a Fox—street smart and safety savvy—don’t call attention to yourself as today is a day of watch and wait.

Your Ancient Symbol Card for November 9th is The Ancestors

Your Ancient Symbol Card for Today

Ancestors

Ancestors represents the ongoing influence and remarkable contributions those who came before us have made to our state of being. Ancestors also reminds us that sometimes old wisdom is the best wisdom–especially when events are moving in ways we do not understand. Ancestors can bring comfort to a shaken spirit. It is a card of warmth in the sense that it reminds us that the spirit of past generations remains with us and can be called upon for guidance at any time.

As a daily card, Ancestors suggests that you may be well served to by exploring your family tree to find solutions to current dilemmas. When searching for solutions to conflicts in your life, you might do well by asking yourself what a grandparent or great grandparent would do in your current situation.

Today’s Tarot Card for Nov. 9th is The Hanged Man

The Hanged Man

Saturday, Nov 9th, 2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Traditionally, the card known as the Hanged Man usually indicates a lack of ability to help oneself through independent action. This energy is arrested and awaiting judgment. With this card, there is no avenue for the will to regain control until the situation has passed.

This represents a good time to be philosophical, to study and meditate upon the position you find yourself in, and form resolutions for the moment you become free again. Only those who possess wisdom, patience and optimism will be able to see through limitations, including possible humiliation, to grasp the inspiring lesson one can gain from such an experience.

Daily Horoscopes for Saturday, November 9th

We have to set aside our emotions today so we can focus on the practical aspects of our lives as go-getter Mars sextiles taskmaster Saturn. Creating a concrete plan, combined with hard work, ensures progress. Meanwhile, in direct contrast, a visionary Mercury-Neptune alignment heightens our fantasies and invites us into the dreamy poetic realms. The intelligent Aquarius Moon enables us to use our imaginations without losing touch with reality.

 

Aries Horoscope

(Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You are in the driver’s seat now because you know the full consequences of what you are doing. You recently had the opportunity to consider all your options before choosing your present course of action. The potential rewards may be quite satisfying, although it could take more time than you think for your labors to bear fruit. Setting a sustainable pace today is more important than your actual production, so keep your eyes on the future and your shoulder to the wheel.

 

Taurus Horoscope

(Apr 20 – May 20)

You’re not interested in anything superficial now because you want to see tangible results from your extra effort. Unfortunately, confusion can catch you off guard today if the distance between your optimism and reality is too much. Adopt a logical and balanced approach and pay attention to the details. There is great potential for success if you maintain a positive attitude and keep your common sense close at hand.

 

Gemini Horoscope

(May 21 – Jun 20)

Whatever you say today could be less important than your actions. Your behavior not only speaks louder than your words, it also has longer lasting consequences. Nevertheless, you have a significant opportunity now, but it might not be obvious at first. No matter what happens, be creative as you tell your story. Dream out loud and share what’s on your mind. You may be pleasantly surprised with the wonderful response you receive.

 

Cancer Horoscope

(Jun 21 – Jul 22)

You have an interesting choice to make today as your plans come up for reconsideration. It would be easier if you were the only person involved, but someone else’s needs must also be included. Opening your mind to reexamine your goals from a wider perspective can be very enlightening as you see possibilities that you previously overlooked. Don’t say no too quickly to anything that comes your way or you could miss a wonderful opportunity to further develop your evolving life strategy.

Leo Horoscope

(Jul 23 – Aug 22)

There is so much happening that it tests your ability to remain calm and it might be somewhat disconcerting now as you try to keep it all together. Harmonious aspects conspire to clear the path toward your destination, but doing the work is still, ultimately, your responsibility. Your schedule is so full that you may consider sleeping less just to squeeze everything in. Things will slow down in a few days, but in the meantime, make sure you get some much-needed rest.

Virgo Horoscope

(Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Someone at work may be acting overly sweet toward you today and you might not know what to do about it. Your uncertainty could stem from an overall lack of clarity about what you want. Or maybe the other person’s intentions are questionable. Either way, your smartest strategy is to explore all avenues before deciding your course of action. Luckily, your reasoning is sound now, even if the options are confusing at first. Once you’ve considered the pros and cons, make your choice and stick to it.

Libra Horoscope

(Sep 23 – Oct 22)

It’s hard to feel satisfied with just having a nice experience today; you crave something that goes beyond the ordinary. Even if you finish your work early, you still won’t be able to fully enjoy yourself. However, you are currently blessed with the patience to wait for the right moment and the drive to follow through on your plan. Once you know that the timing is right, don’t hesitate to make your move. If your intentions are clear, your mind can turn your fantasies into reality.

Scorpio Horoscope

(Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Your creative juices are flowing and it’s wise to find ways to concentrate on your self-expression. But this kind of sharing isn’t just about personal issues; it’s time to set new goals and then pursue them. Yet, even if you are overcommitted, you can still do what needs to be done. There is major assistance coming your way from the hidden realms of your own subconscious world. The spiritual growth and psychological work you have done in the recent past may be put to good use in the present.

Sagittarius Horoscope

(Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Unfortunately, you may be doing more armchair traveling today than real trekking around the globe. However, as your vision expands, you might miss important details or gloss over data that you don’t have time to integrate. Luckily, you could make a lot of progress now by saving money for a future trip. Remember that sometimes the planning stage of a getaway can be nearly as much fun as the real thing; take your time and enjoy the anticipation while it lasts.

Capricorn Horoscope

(Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Although you might be uncharacteristically laid-back at work today, you still need to juggle your personal and business worlds while keeping the two of them apart. But don’t miss the powerful opportunity to make something special happen, since you have the right balance between intention and follow-through now, enabling you to accomplish whatever you initially set out to do. Make sure that you have your facts straight, but don’t get too hung up in the details. Share your vision as you let your inner poet or philosopher out of the closet.

Aquarius Horoscope

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You may be inclined to spend money on something you don’t really need today. Buying a gift for yourself is a lovely thing to do, but you might be drawn toward purchasing an item that is more extravagant than you can afford. Ask yourself whether or not your potential purchase is really such a good idea before you face possible regrets in a few days. Ironically, exercising a bit of self-restraint works to your advantage in the long run.

Pisces Horoscope

(Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Although it’s wonderful to fuel your life with your dreams, don’t let it be an excuse to be completely unrealistic. It’s as if you must maintain a double existence now. You have your head up in the clouds, but need to keep your feet firmly planted on the ground since it’s tempting to escape to another world. However, you still must pay careful attention to the process or your best ideas will only get lost. Thankfully, you can go anywhere your imagination carries you while riding this powerful spiritual wave.

Daily Cosmic Calendar for November 9th

Be prepared for a weekend of ups, downs, and a wild ride in general. Mars decides that working harmoniously with Saturn — via a supportive, 60-degree link to Saturn (3:58AM) — is better than being angry and contentious. This Mars-Saturn rapport can help you be more hands-on and pragmatic with key business matters. A wave of productivity follows — due to Ceres making an inspirational, 72-degree tie with Jupiter (4:32AM).  However, this positive Ceres-Jupiter aspect is somewhat neutralized by an off-kilter, 150-degree tie from Ceres to Neptune (9:13AM) — a contact that can temporarily increase nebulous thinking and behavior patterns. Fortunately, just 24 minutes later at 9:37AM, the Moon in Aquarius makes its monthly union with Juno — offering emotional empowerment in your primary partnerships. Plus, this Moon-Juno link-up favors your exploring the latest styles influencing the fashion realm.  Despite some of today’s haziness, antique hunters and collectible aficionados can delight in searching for overlooked treasures at estate sales and art fairs as Mercury approaches a flowing trine to Neptune (forming exactly at 1:36PM). This Mercury-Neptune rapport can boost your psychic abilities and creative imagination. Pallas entering Virgo (4:18PM) places a renewed focus on problem-solving via fine-tuned analysis, meticulous study and extensive research.  The arrival of the First Quarter Sun-Moon Phase (9:58PM and activating 18 degrees of Scorpio and Aquarius) is a signal to cut through apparent obstacles blocking your path. Strive to manage your business affairs with greater finesse. Adding an extra note of uncertainty to the late-evening environment is that this First Quarter Sun-Moon Phase also begins a 20+ hour void-of-course lunar cycle that lasts until 6:37PM tomorrow.  Mercury is about to turn direct tomorrow and will do so at 1:15PM on Sunday during the void lunar twilight zone. Why the universe puts humanity into these strange circumstances beyond anyone’s personal control remains unknown. Hang in there overnight and keep hope alive. [Note to readers: All times are calculated for Pacific Standard Time. Be sure to adjust all times according to your own local time so the alignments noted above will be exact for your location.]

Calendar of the Moon for November 9th

Calendar of the Moon

Reed Month

Color: Blue-green
Element: Water
Altar: Upon cloth of blue-green place a vase of reeds, a single blue-green candle, a great bowl of water floating with wetlands plant leaves, and a knife.
Offering: Recycle something useless into something useful.
Daily Meal: Vegetarian soup and sandwiches. Only water or herbal tea to drink.

Ngetal Invocation

Call: Now is the time of the bleak cold.
Response: Now the reeds whisper in the swamp.
Call: Now is the time when we see the growing dark.
Response: Now is the time when we begin to shiver.
Call: Now is the time of bare trees.
Response: Now is the time of rain and wind.
Call: Now the rain fills the wetlands to overflowing.
Response: Now the swamp overflows into our lives.
Call: We feel our feet dragged down into the cold waters.
Response: Yet the wetland is the source of greatest life!
Call: We feel ourselves pulled into the unfamiliar.
Response: Unfamiliar to us, but no less of value.
Call: The damp cold begins to reach our bones.
Response: We must welcome its touch.
Call: We must keep it far away with fire’s warmth!
Response: We must welcome its touch.
Call: Why should we not ban it from our lives?
Response: For this, too, is a Mystery of water.
Call: Not the deep mystery of the Ocean…
Response: Not the running flow of the river…
Call: Not the crystal of snow and ice…
Response: But the secrets of the still waters.
Call: From the still waters springs the greatest number of lives!
Response: And it is this that we must honor.
Call: Welcome into ourselves the song of the whispering reeds!
Response: Welcome into ourselves the oncoming winter.

Chant: Cold as stone
Marshes heart
We will own
What is apart

[Pagan Book of Hours]

Calendar of the Sun for November 9th

Calendar of the Sun

Media Autumnus

Color: Brown
Element: Earth
Altar: Set out a brown cloth, an earthenware jug of water, dried stalks of yarrow in a vase, and incense of many woods. In front of the altar set a great empty barrel, an earthen pot of soil, another of the day’s vegetation garbage, a smaller one of wood ashes, and a basket of gathered dried leaves.
Offerings: Bits of hair or fingernail parings.
Daily Meal: Vegetarian.

Media Autumnus Invocation

Let us invest in the Earth
Beneath our feet
And see our returns in millenniums.
Let us say that our main crop
Is the ancient forest
Which we did not plant
And will not live to harvest.
Let us say that the leaves
Are harvested when
They have rotted into the mold.
Let us call that our profit,
And prophesy such returns.
Let us put our faith in the two inches
Of humus that will build
Under the trees every thousand years.
Let us listen to carrion.
Let us put our ears close and hear
The faint chatterings
Of the songs that are yet to come.

Chant:
Clay receives you
Earth has chosen you
Worms prepare you
Earth encloses you

(During the chant, several who have been chosen to do the work of the ritual come forward and add the garbage, the ashes, the soil, the dried leaves, the yarrow, and finally the water to the compost barrel. It is removed again to the corner until Spring.)

[Pagan Book of Hours]

Current Moon Phase for Nov. 9th – Waxing Crescent Moon

Crescent Moon

(waxing/48% of Full)

During this Moon phase, there is a slight slowing down of enthusiasm due to an emerging desire to produce tangible results from the energy being expended. The issue of values enters into the equation and an urge to tie together the data available so that you can utilize current opportunities. There is still plenty of forward motion, and this is a great time to continue initiating and progressing forward. This Moon phase favors gaining more information and the input of others to further your plans.

The Witches’ Spell for Nov. 9th – Cursed or Blessed

sam9

CURSED OR BLESSED

You need:

Piece of burlap

piece of wool

piece of silk

Some polished stones (polished) from a river or stream

A live leaf

A bowl of fruit and/or bread

A dead branch

Lay the silk, wool and burlap at the foot of your bed in that order. About 5 feet from the foot of your bed, toward the left, lay the branch. About 5 feet from the foot of your bead, toward the right, place the bowl.  The branch is the barren curse and the bowl is the bountiful life that withers the curse.  Lay one stone on each cloth then lay a path from the wool, straight down the center, between the bowl and the branch.  The stones must touch. At the end lay the leaf.  By laying the stones, you show respect for the fates and the balance of life.  Light three candles and incense and meditate over the rite.  Sleep without touching the items.  When you wake, watch how much the stones have moved.  If they bias the branch, you are cursed.  If they bias the bowl, you are blessed.  If it doesn’t move, no outside force is affecting you.  If you are cursed, how far it has moved will determine the strength of the curse. Reset the path, and that night, light the three candles and the incense and meditate again over the rite.  Sleep again without touching anything. The path should have moved less than the first time.  Repeat this every night until the path stays in the middle.  Next, move the path toward the bowl following the same meditation and sleep process as before.  Continue this every night until the path stays at the bowl.  When it has done so, you may complete the rite.  Touch nothing, but for the three following nights, meditate over the rite, to seal your new fate.  The stones must be returned to the river or stream where you got them from .  The branch must be returned to the forest floor where you found it, and the leaf cast to the wind.  The bowl of fruit must be eaten,  and the cloth must be saved in a dark place, undisturbed.

 

Eight Gifts That Do Not Cost A Cent

Eight Gifts That Do Not Cost A Cent

1. THE GIFT OF LISTENING…
But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.

2. THE GIFT OF AFFECTION…
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let
these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

3. THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER…
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, “I love to
laugh with you.”

4. THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE…
It can be a simple “Thanks for the help” note or a full sonnet. A brief,
handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life.

5. THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT…
A simple and sincere, “You look great in red,” “You did a super job” or “That
was a wonderful meal” can make someone’s day.

6. THE GIFT OF A FAVOR…
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

7. THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE…
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive
to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

8. THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION…
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really it’s
not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You.

Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to
succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to
open their hearts to us. Show your friends how much you care.

SATURDAY – The Day of Reckoning
, The Day of Saturn

Days Of The Week Comments
SATURDAY

The Day of Reckoning
The Day of Saturn

saterndaeg or soeterdaeg (Anglo-Saxon)
samstag (Germanic)
dies saturni (Latin)
sani-var or sanichar (Hindu)
sunneecher (Islamic)
samedi (French)
dou youbi (Japanese)

Traditionally seen as the seventh day of the week. The Latin name for this day was ‘Dies Saturni’ meaning the ‘Day of Saturn’ (Saturn being a Roman deity) which was later developed by the Anglo-Saxons to ‘Soeterdoeg’. Saturn was associated with the ancient Greek ‘Kronos’ or ‘Time’ (some refer to this deity as Father Time). Kronos was said to have attempted to devour each one of his children but was unsuccessful with ‘Neptune’ or ‘Water’, ‘Jupiter’ or ‘Air’ and ‘Pluto’ or ‘The Grave’ as it was believed that not even Time can harm these. Jupiter eventually banished Saturn from his thrown. Saturn was also known as the God of the Seed and Harvest being symbolised by a scythe. Those who practised the ancient art of alchemy believed that Saturn was linked to the metal lead, and that anyone born under this sign would be influenced by its evil nature. Alchemists referred to the ‘Tree of Diana’ also known as the ‘Philosopher’s Tree’ as ‘Saturn’s Tree’. Modern astrologers indeed still link the disposition of anyone born under the influence of Saturn as being likened to the qualities of the metal, these being gloomy, dull, sluggish, grave, phlegmatic:

‘Then rose the seed of Chaos and of Night To blot out order and extinguish light. Of dull and venal a new world to mould, And bring Saturnian days of lead and gold.’ Pope : Dunciad, IV, 13.

Saturday in India is traditionally believed to be an unlucky day as this is the day dedicated to the God of Misfortune named ‘Sani’. In Ireland (UK) it is believed that if a the visual phenomena of a rainbow appears on this day then the following week will be nothing but wet weather. In Scotland (UK) it was traditionally believed that any child born on this day would have the gift of seeing ghosts. In rural areas of the British Isles it was traditionally believed to be bad luck to change jobs on a Saturday, an old English (UK) rhyme to support this was:

‘Saturday servants never stay,

Sunday servants run away.’

‘Black Saturday’ was the name given to August 4 1621. It is said that a violent storm symbolically blew-up in Scotland (UK) at the moment when Parliament was in the house discussing whether to make change of the Episcopacy laws, and force this upon the people of Scotland. According to the English historian Richard Grafton certain dates of the month were unlucky as published in the ‘Manual’ in 1565. Days throughout the year were identified and of course could have related to any day of the week. The date was the most important point to consider. The work was reputed to have some credence with support given by astronomers of the day.

(For more information see Mystical WWW Mystical Time : Mystical Months).

The Witches Magickal Correspondence for Saturday, November 9th

Witchy Comments
The Witches Magickal Correspondence for Saturday, November 9th

Magickal Intentions: Spirit Communications, Meditation, Psychic Attack or Defense, Locating Lost Things and Missing Persons, Building, Life, Doctrine, Protection, Knowledge, Authority, Limitations, Boundaries, Time and Death
Incense: Black Poppy Seed and Myrrh
Planet: Saturn
Sign: Capricorn and Aquarius
Angel: Cassel
Colors: Black, Grey and Indigo
Herbs/Plants: Myrrh, Moss, Hemlock, Wolfs bane, Coltsfoot, Nightshade and Fir
Stones: Jet, Smokey Quartz, Amethyst, Black Onyx, Snowflake Obsidian, Lava, Pumice
Oil: (Saturn) Cypress, Mimosa, Myrrh, Patchouli

Saturn lends its energies to the last day of the week. Because Saturn is the planet of karma, this day is an excellent time for spellwork involving reincarnation, karmic lessons, the Mysteries, wisdom, and long-term projects. It is also a good time to being efforts that deal with the elderly, death, or the eradication of pests and disease.

The Witches Almanac for Saturday, November 9th

Witchy Comments
The Witches Almanac for Saturday, November 9th

Saturday (Saturn): Longevity, exorcism, endings, homes and houses.

Queen Elizabeth’s Day

Waxing Moon

The Waxing Moon is the ideal time for magick to draw things toward you.

Moon Phase: First Quarter

Moon Sign: Taurus

Taurus: Things begun now last the longest, tend to increase in value, and become hard to alter. Brings out appreciation for beauty and sensory experience.

Moon enters Gemini 7:30 pm

Gemini: Things begun now are easily change by outside influence. Time for shortcuts, communication, games and fun.

Incense: Almond

Color: Amber

Besom Chant

Witchy Comments
Besom Chant

Besom, besom long and lithe

made from ash and willow withe

Tied with thongs of willow bark

in running stream at moonset dark.

With a pentagram indighted

as the ritual fire is lighted

Sweep ye circle, deosil,

Sweep out evil, sweep out ill,

Make the round of the ground

Where we do the Lady’s will.

Besom, besom, Lady’s broom

Sweep out darkness, sweep out doom

Rid ye Lady’s hallowed ground

Of demons, imps and Hell’s red hound;

Then set ye down on Her green earth

By running stream or Mistress’ hearth,

‘Till called once more on Sabbath night

To cleans once more the dancing site.