A Thought for Today
Category: Daily Posts
A Laugh for Today – Marriage Jokes
Live on the fun side of marriage with our wife jokes and funny husband jokes.
Marriage can be tough. But for better or for worse, these marriage jokes and wedding puns will have you doubling over laughing. Check out our collection of love jokes* for an extra laugh. (* Coming tomorrow)
MAKE ME A SANDWICH
My husband and I were daydreaming about what we would do if we won the lottery. I started: “I’d hire a cook so that I could just say, ‘Hey, make me a sandwich!’” Thomas shook his head. “Not me. I already have one of those.” —Julie Phelan
SELL IT
As my wife and I prepared for our garage sale, I came across a painting. Looking at the back, I discovered that I had written “To my beautiful wife on our fifth anniversary. I love you … Keith.” Feeling nostalgic about a gift I’d given her 25 years earlier, I showed it to her, thinking we should rehang the picture. After gazing at my message for a few seconds, she replied, “You know, I think a black marker would cover over all that so that we could sell it.” Keith Chambers
IN THE BIRDS SECTION
I was perusing the shelves at a bookstore when a customer asked an employee where the birding section was. After pointing it out, the employee asked, “Is there anything specific you’re looking for?” “Yes,” said the customer. “My husband.” —A.H. via rd.com
DON’T SEND HIM BACK
On my wedding day, my mom told my bride, “No refunds, no exchanges on sale items.” —Glen Zeider
FORGOT ABOUT THE GIFT
My friend Garrick had the solution to forgetting his wife’s birthday and their wedding anniversary: He opened an account with a local florist and provided it with both dates as well as instructions to send flowers and a card signed “Your loving husband, Garrick.” For a few years, it worked. Then one day, Garrick came home on their wedding anniversary. He saw the flowers on the dining room table and said, “What nice flowers. Where did you get them?” —Yefim M. Brodd
ONLY WOMAN THERE
A local lumberyard was having an open house, and my mother really wanted to go. Dad, though, had no interest. After badgering him with no luck, she finally said, “If you don’t go, I’ll be the only woman there.” Dad shrugged. “If I go, you’ll still be the only woman there.” —Gerald E. Bronnenberg
Some of the Witchcraft/Magickal Correspondence for Monday
From gypsywolf.weebly.com
Monday is the second day of the week, named from the Latin Lunae Dies, day of the moon, reflecting the Roman feast days dedicated to the moon and moon goddess, Luna. The goddess Selene is her Greek counterpart.
Monday
Latin: Lunae Dies, day of the Moon
French: lundi
Italian: lunedi
Spanish: lunes [from Luna, “Moon”]
Anglo-Saxon: monandaeg, “the moon’s day”
German: Montag
Dutch: maandag
French: lundi
Italian: lunedi
Spanish: lunes [from Luna, “Moon”]
Anglo-Saxon: monandaeg, “the moon’s day”
German: Montag
Dutch: maandag
Rules: Peace, sleep, prophetic dreams, psychic awareness, spirituality, compassion, love, home, gardening, purification, healing and fertility.
Colors: Silver and White
Planet: Moon
Metal: Silver
Stones: Aquamarine, Beryl, Chalcedony, Crystal (quartz), Moonstone, Mother-of-pearl, Pearl, Sapphire, Selenite
Herbs: Calamus, Camphor, Coconut, Gardenia, Grape, Jasmine, Lemon, Lemon Balm, Lotus, Myrrh, Poppy seed, Sandalwood, Willow
Zodiac: Cancer
A Thought for Today – Poem “I Go”
Written by: Zakhe Michael Mcunu
I GO
I go where love is the key
I go where only hope seize
Let me go to the eternity
Where I will see splendid beauty
The beauty of stars and angels
Where the flowers blossom like in summer
There in the fallen misty mountains
There i shall see the great plains of Africa
And little houses looking like ants colonies
I go where all turmoil shall vanish
This is the home of all the kings of ancient times
Come with me so our names shall be remembered
Follow me to the bliss of pagan souls
Come hear how they are chanting your name
Hear the captain at the end of the bridge
From lovepoemsandpoets.com
A Laugh for Today – 50 Valentine’s Day Pickup Lines That Will Make Your Beloved Blush
From Reader’s Digest
Romance and humor? Win-win! Get ready to sweep your sweetheart off their feet with these charming Valentine’s Day pickup lines.
Cupid-approved Valentine’s Day pickup lines
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate all things love, whether it’s an über romantic relationship that gives you heart eyes or a budding romance that produces nonstop butterflies. And with the beloved holiday fast approaching, you may be looking for fun Valentine’s Day ideas to plan with your better half or scouring the internet for funny valentine’s quotes to write in their card. There’s so much to do for your sweetie, after all! But if you really want to make them feel special and give them a giggle, try breaking out some Valentine’s Day pickup lines this year.
The great thing about Valentine’s Day pickup lines is you can tailor them to fit the person you’re flirting with. Some people love using a cheesy pickup line on a fresh Tinder match, whereas others use a romantic line to make their spouse feel special. That’s why we’ve included a mix of romantic, smooth and downright hilarious lines to use on your valentine. Enjoy! And don’t forget to browse through (and bookmark) our favorite pickup lines for guys and girls.
Romantic Valentine’s Day pickup lines
1. I’m going to need a map this Valentine’s Day … you know, since I’ll be lost in your eyes all night.
2. Care to spend the night learning each other’s love languages?
3. Are you a priceless piece of art? Because I’ve been admiring you for quite some time.
4. Does heaven know it’s missing an angel this close to Valentine’s Day?
5. What do you do for work? You know, besides being the most beautiful person on the planet?
6. I think Cupid’s got my tongue, because I’m absolutely speechless in your presence.
7. Disney World has a reputation for being the happiest place on earth … but whoever said that clearly hasn’t been in your arms.
8. I have to admit: I didn’t believe in love at first sight, until I saw you walk by. Care to do it again and test the theory?
9. Is it OK if we take a picture together? I’d love to preserve the memory of meeting a real angel.
10. What a coincidence—my dream person comes to life, just in time for Valentine’s Day. It’s fate!
Funny Valentine’s Day pickup lines
11. I bet your kisses put Hershey’s to shame.
12. Excuse me, can you help me pick up my jaw? I seemed to have dropped it just looking at you.
13. Did you look at the Valentine’s Day menu? It has me-n-u all over it.
14. Tell Google to pack it up, because you’re everything I’m searching for this Valentine’s Day.
15. I got a special sweater just for Valentine’s Day—it’s made of [boyfriend/girlfriend] material.
16. You may not like raisins … but how would you feel about a date on Valentine’s Day?
17. Do you fish? I’m asking because you really reeled me in with that smile.
18. What do you and I have in common with a pair of shoes? We’re solemates!
19. Are you a judge? Because I’m feeling the need to court you right now.
20. I did the math: You + me = 2gether 4ever.
Short Valentine’s Day pickup lines
21. You’re sweeter than a box of Valentine’s Day chocolates.
22. Be mine?
23. Love is on the menu tonight—eat up, valentine!
24. Call the doctor—because you have me lovesick.
25. My stomach is in forget-me-knots just thinking about you!
26. Do you have a name? Or should I just call you my date?
27. My candy heart is all yours, valentine.
28. Call me a bee—because I’m buzzing about you, honey.
29. You’re looking valenfine!
30. I’m definitely falling for you—care to catch me?
Valentine’s Day pickup lines for your crush
31. Are you Cupid? Because you’ve shot a love arrow right through my heart.
32. You’re just the type of cutie pie I ordered for Valentine’s Day.
33. Call me a telephone—because I’m looking to give you a ring soon!
34. Roses are red, violets are blue … care to meet me and grab dinner for two?
35. You + me + a box of chocolates + cuddling on the couch = the perfect Valentine’s Day. You in?
36. Ugh, I lost my favorite teddy bear—can I snuggle with you instead?
37. I got you a pair of sneakers for Valentine’s Day … figured you’d need them after running through my head so much!
38. I reserved an extra special spot for you on Valentine’s Day—in my arms.
39. We could stop and smell the roses, or I could bring you a dozen on Valentine’s Day. Your choice.
40. I hope you know CPR—because you just took my breath away.
Valentine’s Day pickup lines for your spouse
41. Tonight, don’t forget to wear what looks best on you: your smile.
42. Don’t worry—if your hand feels heavy on Valentine’s Day, I’ll be glad to hold it for you.
43. This Valentine’s Day, let’s make an exchange: I’ll give you tulips, and you give me two lips. Sound fair?
44. I don’t need candy hearts this Valentine’s Day—I already have the biggest sweetheart by my side.
45. Care to show Cupid that arrow he shot all those years ago is sharper than ever?
46. Roses are red, but some are pink, let’s recreate our first date on Valentine’s Day—what do you think?
47. Merriam-Webster called and asked me to define “true love” … mind if we snap a picture together so I can send it their way?
48. Well, call me Planters—because I’ve been nuts about you for years!
49. I don’t think I could possibly love you any amour.
50. Are you a dove? Because I’ve been cooing over you for quite some time.
Some of the Witchcraft/Magickal Correspondence for Monday
From otherworldlyoracle.com
We often dread Mondays, but Monday has a special kind of magick that might make you think differently. Monday is named after the Moon. Therefore, all magick related to the moon can also be performed on a Monday! No more waiting for the right moon cycle if you have an immediate need. Cast spells and perform rituals for the following intentions: love, healing, intuition, psychic abilities, dreams, emotional balance, friendship, purification, fertility, shadow and spirit work.
- Magical Intentions: intuition, dreams, shadow work, psychic abilities, emotional balance, friendship
- Crystals/Metals: silver, moonstone, pearl, fluorite, amethyst, quartz, sapphire
- Herbs: moonflower, jasmine, gardenia, white rose
- Gods/Goddesses: Thoth, Selene, Diana, Artemis, Luna, Hecate, Phoebe, Kalfu
February 6th to 12th Astronomy Picture of the Day
These are the Astronomy Picture of the Day for the proceeding week starting on the past Monday through this Sunday. Just click on the hyperlink next to the date for the pictures you want to see.
2023 February 12: Mammatus Clouds over Nebraska
2023 February 11: Magellanic Clouds over Chile
2023 February 10: ZTF meets ATLAS
2023 February 09: Nacreous Clouds over Lapland
2023 February 08: Stellar Wind Shaped Nebula RCW 58
2023 February 07: A Comet and Two Dippers
2023 February 06: In the Heart of the Rosette Nebula
A Little Humor for Your Day – Being A Witch is…. c. 2016
Being a Witch is…
Trying to type a Ritual on the computer and having the cat walk on the keyboard.
Spending six months weaving the most beautiful Altar cloth you can imagine, then having someone spill wine and candle wax on it during it’s first Ritual.
Deciding to Work Skyclad because you keep burning your Robe on the Point Candles and Bonfire.
Having the neighbor ask you if you have been born again, and replying that you have, indeed, been born again… and again and again and again….
Hoping that the High Priestess is careful with her Moon Crown as she gives you The Five-fold Kiss.
Trying to explain to the Realtor why you need an extra bedroom at least nine-feet in diameter.
Then telling that same Realtor that you can’t take that perfect house that is so affordable, because the fireplace is in the west instead of the South.
Setting up a Circle in the park and discovering that there is a bee hive nearby.
Doing an outdoor midnight ritual and having the neighbor call the cops, thinking that you’re a prowler.
Saluting the Goddess at the Watchtower with a Sword and poking a hole in the Temple ceiling.
Deciding not to wear your new Horned Helmet to the outdoor Sabbat because it’s deer hunting season.
Trying to go home after a skyclad Circle and discovering that the Coven joker has hidden all of the clothes.
Casting the Circle for the first time and being so proud with yourself for doing it right… then looking down to discover that you’re wearing your Robe inside out.
Wondering how to get rid of the result of your latest love spell.
Seeing a girl at the supermarket. She’s wearing a Pentagram, a silver High Priestess Bracelet, a runic belt buckle, a Necklace of acorns and has the Goddess tattooed on her shoulder and is wearing a t-shirt that says ‘Sexy Witch’. So you go up to her and ask, “Are you in the Craft?” and she hisses back, “Shhhh! It’s supposed to be a secret!”
Going to sleep during visualization exercises.
Getting a new familiar… who isn’t housebroken.
Realizing that your grammar is not so bad, now that you’ve read something by Ophiel.
Eleven cops and the sheriff on your doorstep, asking for Initiation.
Reading Aleister Crowley with a straight face.
Working magick every day… just for the hexercise.
Trying to remain Gardnerian after mid-winter.
Your parents install a smoke alarm… in the room you’ve been using as a Temple.
Your cat eats the mugwort growing in the window box… and starts having visions.
Queuing up for the Ritual bath in order of Initiation…. because the High Priestess is trying to get all the hot water.
Taking a Ritual Bath at the Covenstead when seven other Witches have just been in the tub.
Being dragged to an outdoor Halloween Sabbat… Skyclad.
Acquiring a reputation after you accidently sat down on the Cauldron.
Having to cut a gate in the Circle to go to the bathroom.
Explaining to the fireman that the smoke billowing from under your door is only incense, and that you were burning incense because you were casting a….
Seeing your past incarnation.. as a postal clerk.
When you use Cord magick and find yourself all tied up.
Having to actually try to fit 13 people into a nine foot Circle.
Six bottles of wine under the Altar… with two inches left in each.
Toasting the Goddess so often that you’ve become a borderline alcoholic.
That sinking sensation you get when you accidently drop your Athame point-down and then notice that you can’t move your left foot.
Having a nice Winter Sabbat where your High Priest gets a new Horned Helmet and two minutes later, he gores you in the ass.
Not being able to argue with the High Priestess without getting flogged.
Suddenly realizing just how long it takes to hand copy a Book of Shadows.
Learning never to schedule a Circle on a good TV night.
Buying an abandoned traffic circle to use as the first drive-in Covenstead.
Spending three months trying to learn Theban because the Book of Shadows that you’re copying is written in it.
Trying to convince the police that the baggies that they found were really full of consecrated herbs.
Not being able to banish a spirit because the animal whose shape it assumed is on the endangered species list.
Trying to remember the combination of herbs that turned your tea strainer into gold.
Explaining to the doctor how your Athame slipped from your hand and stuck into your foot.
Explaining to the school principal that your child could not have possibly been the one who changed the teacher into a frog since she isn’t Initiated to a Degree that permits her to do such spells.
Explaining to your boss that you have to leave early on October 31 because it is “a day of holy obligation.”
Trying to explain to your roommate that he has to leave because it is the Full Moon.
Discovering that you engraved your Athame with the wrong symbols.
Falling to the ground after a wild dance and sitting skyclad on a bee.
(A Thought for Today) Good Sunday Morning, My Dear Precious Family! May the Goddess Fill Your Life With Blessings This & Every Day To Come! c. 2018
A Laugh for Today – Silly Valentine’s Day Puns to Make Your Sweetheart Smile Part 2
From Reader’s Digest
Food Valentine’s Day puns
48. Brie mine.
49. You’re my everything bagel.
50. Don’t go bacon my heart.
51. My heart beets for you.
52. You are one in a melon.
53. Just in queso you didn’t know, I love you.
54. You make miso happy.
55. I only have fries for you.
56. Muffin can ever come between us.
57. Words cannot express hummus I love you.
58. You’re my jam.
59. You make me Snicker.
60. Will you peas be mine?
61. There’s no reason to wine about you.
62. I love you from my head to-matoes.
63. We make a great pear.
64. Pie like you berry much.
65. You’re all that and dim sum.
66. You got a pizza my heart.
67. Olive you.
68. I donut know what I’d do without you.
Dog Valentine’s Day puns
69. I ruff you.
70. You’re my pup of tea.
71. Hey, corgeous!
72. I puggin’ love you!
73. You look awfully fetching.
74. I’m mutts over you.
75. You are my pup of tea.
76. Urine my heart forever, so let’s ignore that puddle in the kitchen.
77. Doggone it, will you paw-lease be my valentine?
Cat Valentine’s Day puns
78. Meow and forever, I love you.
79. You are purr-fect for me!
80. When I’m with you, I’m feline good.
81. I’m not kitten around: I love you.
82. I’m not lion: I love you.
83. I’m definitely feline a reaction between the two of us.
84. I think you’re one cool cat.
85. Meow + you = together fur-ever.
Drink Valentine’s Day puns
86. I love you a latte.
87. You’re my cup of tea.
88. I can’t tell you how matcha you mean to me.
89. I want to espresso my love for you.
90. I soda think you’re cute.
91. You had me at merlot!
92. The boba us were meant to be together.
93. You’re ex-straw-ordinary!
Animal Valentine’s Day puns
94. I whale always love you.
95. I’m bananas for you.
96. I’m so fawned of you, deer!
97. I love ewe from the bottom of my heart.
98. I’m batty for you.
99. Will you bee mine?
100. You quack me up, valentine.
Some of the Witchcraft/Magickal Correspondence for Sunday
From gypsywolf.weebly.com
Saturday is the last day of the week, corresponding to the Roman Dies Saturni, or day of Saturn, the Roman god of death and agriculture, also known as Chronos or Cronus (Greek). Saturday is the seventh day, therefore the true “sabbath day”, appropriate for the home and rest. Saturday is also represented by Loki, the Norse god of tricks and chaos, brother of Odin and god of fire.
Saturday
Latin: Dies Saturni, “Saturn’s Day”, in honor of the Roman God Saturn
French: samedi
Italian: sabato
Spanish: el sábádo
Anglo-Saxon: sater daeg
German: Samstag
Dutch: zaterdag
Sweden: Lördag
Denmark & Norway: Lørdag (“washing day”)
French: samedi
Italian: sabato
Spanish: el sábádo
Anglo-Saxon: sater daeg
German: Samstag
Dutch: zaterdag
Sweden: Lördag
Denmark & Norway: Lørdag (“washing day”)
Rules: Karma, property, inheritance, agriculture, protection, purification, longevity, exorcisms, vision, endings (especially with the home).
Colors: Maroon, Dark Shades, Black
Planet: Saturn
Metal: Lead, associated with the scythe of Saturn; Pewter
Stones: Alum, Apache Tear, Coal, Hematite, Jasper (brown), Jet, Obsidian, Onyx, Salt, Serpentine, Tourmaline (black)
Herbs: Amaranth, Bistort, Comfrey, Cypress, Mimosa, Pansy, Patchouli, Tamarask
Zodiac: Capricorn
Introducing The Mermaid Tarot Deck
I found this on NewsBreak: Norovirus is spreading in the US. Here’s how to avoid catching the stomach bug that hand sanitizer won’t protect you from.
I found this on NewsBreak: Norovirus is spreading in the US. Here’s how to avoid catching the stomach bug that hand sanitizer won’t protect you from. https://share.newsbreak.com/31bccmr2
A Laugh for Today -Silly Valentine’s Day Puns to Make Your Sweetheart Smile – Part 1
From Reader’s Digest
Cute Valentine’s Day puns
1. I love you a whole watt.
2. I’m hoppy you’re mine.
3. My heart is gushing—I lava you.
4. Looking forward to spending koala-ty time together this Valentine’s Day.
5. Pining fir you.
6. I can’t bear to be without you.
7. Yoda best, valentine.
8. You’re one in a chameleon.
9. You’re just plane awesome!
10. My significant otter.
11. We mermaid for each other!
12. I wheel-ly like you!
13. We’ve got great chemistry.
14. I love you once and flor-al!
15. Sealed with a kiss.
16. I’ll never dessert you.
Cheesy Valentine’s Day puns
17. This may be corny, but you are a-maize-ing.
18. Are you a 90-degree angle? Because this feels just right.
19. Are you a keyboard? Because you’re just my type.
20. You’re a cutie 3.14.
21. Are you a locksmith? Because you have the key to my heart.
22. Are you a needle? Because you are sew special to me.
23. You must be glue, because I am sticking with you.
24. We have a great connection, since you’re Wi-Fi material.
25. Your name must be Summer, because you are hot.
26. Are you copper and tellurium? Because you are Cu Te!
27. If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
28. You can donate blood to me anytime, since you’re just my type.
29. You must be a bowling ball, since you’re right up my alley.
Romantic Valentine’s Day puns
30. You’re the king of my heart!
31. I’ll owl-ways love you.
32. When I’m with you, my heart is always ready for takeoff.
33. You octopi my heart!
34. So mushroom in my heart for you!
35. You are my sole-mate.
Funny Valentine’s Day puns
36. Your sweater must be made out of wife material.
37. You sweep me off my feet.
38. I could TSA pre-check you out all day long.
39. I glove you, and I am s’mitten.
40. I was soapin’ you’d be my valentine.
41. You give my life porpoise.
42. Went from “cacti” to “cactus.”
43. I mustache you a question: Will you be my valentine?
44. I think you’re porcu-fine.
45. You had me at “aloe.”
46. Life would succ without you.
47. Do you be-leaf in love
A Thought for Today
Merry meet sisters, brothers, and honored guests may Lord and Lady bless you and your family with all things positive!
A Laugh for Today
A Thought for Today
You might be born into one family, but you can choose another with your heart!
Dear sisters, brothers, and honored guests may the Great Mother and Great Father, Lord and Lady, bless you and your family with all things positive!
A Laugh for Today
If only it was this easy…
Dear sisters, brothers, and honored guests may the Great Mother and Great Father, Lord and Lady, bless you and your family with all things positive!
Some of the Witchcraft/Magickal Correspondence for Friday
The day of Venus, Friday takes its name from Frigga, the Goddess of Love and Transformation. She rules the spiritual aspects of people as they manifest on the physical. because of this, Friday is sometimes thought of as unpredictable.
Element : Water / Earth
Planet: Venus
Zodiac Sign : Taurus / Libra
Angel : Ariel
Metal : Tin
Incense / Perfumes : Strawberry, Sandalwood, Rose, Saffron and Vanilla
Oils : Cardamom, Palmrosa, Rose, Yarrow
Color : Green, Aqua, Rose
Stones : Emerald, Rose Quartz, Moonstone, Pink Tourmaline, Peridot, Jade
Plants/Herbs : Apple, Balm of Gilead, Bergamot, Birch, Catnip, Clematis, Damiana, Dragons Blood, Geranium, Heather, Hibiscus, Ivy, Magnolia, Mugwort, Plumeria, Rose, Rose Geranium, Sage, Strawberry, Vanilla, Vervain, Violet, Water Lilly
Magick to Work: love, friendship, beauty, sensuality, arts, attraction, healing, peace, harmony, artistic ability, creativity generally, reconciliation, beauty, female sexuality, luxury, music, pleasure, scent, sensuality, social affairs
Good Morning or Evening Beautiful WoTC Family and Guests – A Thought for Today
The Charge of the Goddess
Blessed be, and Blessed are,
The lovers of the Lady.
Blessed be and blessed are,
The Mother Maiden Crone.
Blessed be and blessed are,
The ones who dance together.
Bless be and blessed are,
The ones who dance alone.
She’s been waiting, waiting.
She’s been waiting so long.
She’s been waiting for her children
To remember to return.
The Charge of the Goddess is attributed to Doreen Valiente, a student of Gerarld Gardner. The poem, originally found in the Gardnerian Book of Shadows, is now loved by all wiccans as a statement of reverence for the Goddess and Nature. Valiente used materials from the Gospel of Aradia by Charles Leland (1901), and Aleister Crowley’s writings to compose the piece and it is commonly used to invoke the “Goddess” during Esbats and Sabbats.
From Lady Beltane: I am sorry many of the posts differ today than the way I want to go with them. It is a rainy gloomy day and my arthritis as well as a fibromyalgia flare is making it very difficult to type and sit at my desk. So, I did the best that I could for today. Also, the reason for only the regular daily posts to be up.
Witches Of The Craft® 
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