A Little Humor – What Would Your Diety Do?

What Would Your Diety Do?


Many folks, when faced with a difficult choice, say that they always            ask themselves, “WWJD?” As we all know, WWJD? is “What Would Jesus Do?” Now,            for those of non-Christian religious persuasions, we have…

WWAD? (A=Anubis) Wrap ’em up!

WWAD? (A=Aphrodite) Don’t you mean who would Aphrodite do?

WWAD? (A=Apollo) Test their musical skills… in a fair contest.

WWAD? (A=Artemis) Turn him into a stag to be torn apart by his barking hounds.

WWAD? (A=Astarte) Make love and war.

WWAD? (A=Athena) Stare him down, then beat the crap out of them… in a logical manner.

WWBD? (B=Bacchus) Get them drunk and turn them into dolphins.

WWBD? (B=Britannia) Rule!

WWBD? (B=Buddha) Does it matter? If you are enlightened it doesn’t. If you are not enlightened it still doesn’t.

WWCD? (C=Ceres) Discuss it calmly while holding a scythe.

WWCD? (C=Ceridwen) Stir it up one more time.

WWCD? (C=Chaos) No one is quite sure… but it will be messy and… interesting.

WWCD? (C=Cthulu) Does it matter? No one will survive anyway.

WWCD? (C=Cuchulain) Chop down an enormous oak tree with one sweep of your sword, carve a riddle writtin in ogham on it, and throw it in the path of the oncoming Connacht hordes and demand that they decipher it before advancing.

WWDD? (D= Demeter) Lay waste to your lands if you don’t have her daughter back by 10pm! [And don’t even THINK of laying a hand on her!]

WWDD? (D=Discordia) Here… have an apple… if you are the fairest!

WWED? (E=Ereshkigal) Strip them and hang them on a hook to rot.

WWFD? (F=Flora) Say it with flowers.

WWFD? (F=Fortuna) Play the lottery.

WWFD? (F=Frigga). Spin, spin, spin.

WWGD? (G=Gaia) Remind them to worship the ground they stand on.

WWGD? (G=Ganesha) Saddle up his rat.

WWGD (G=God) Send everyone to Hell that doesn’t obey his every wish.

WWHD?(H=Hades) Tell them to go to Hell.

WWHD? (H=Hecate) Show them the right path… or is it the left?

WWHD? (H=Hera) She’d get jealous.

WWHD? (H=Hercules) He’d labor to come up with an answer.

WWHD? (H=Herne) Lead them on a Wild Hunt!

WWJD? (J=Janus) Look the other way.

WWJD? (J=Jupiter) Strike them down with a bolt from the blue.

WWKD? (K=Kali) Tear out their beating heart, drink their blood and dance on their trembling corpse. Then wear parts as jewelry.

WWKD? (K=Kwan Yin) Show them some mercy.

WWLD? (L=Loki) Turn left at the next street, buy five chickens, “borrow” some jewelry, change into a seal and steal some apples. For starters.

WWLD? (L=Luna) Moon them!

WWMD? (M=Mithras) Cut the bull!

WWMD? (M=Mars) Suit up for battle.

WWMD? (M=Mercury) Change his mind… again.

WWND? (N=Narcissus) Huh? Is there someone else here?

WWOD? (O=Odin) Take an eye out and leave them in runes.

WWPD? (P=Pan) Tell them to pipe down or fuck off.

WWPD? (P=Pluto) Hump Minnie’s leg.

WWPD? (P=Priapus) Rise to the occasion.

WWSD? (S=Sekhmet) Drown her sorrows in blood.

WWSD? (S=Set) You don’t want to know but it wont be nice.

WWSD? (S=Shiva) Smoke some weed and dance the night away.

WWTD? (T=Thor) Hammer it out.

WWTD? (T=Tyr) Arm himself.

WWTED? (TE=The Eleusinians) It’s a mystery!

WWVD? (V=Vesta) Keep the home fires burning.

WWVD (V=Venus) Stand there and be eye candy.

WWVD? (V=Vulcan) Live long and prosper. [Hey, this took a while! I was just checking to see if you got this far. After all, I suffered for this, now it’s your turn!]

WWWD (W=Wayland) Serve them a feast where their children’s skulls are the finely-fashioned drinking cups.

WWYD? (Y=Yahweh) “I hear you, I hear you. Stop with the burning bush already! OY!”

WWZD? (Z=Zeus) By Jove, he’d flirt with the girls!

 

Turok’s Cabana

Daily Feng Shui Tip for Dec. 19th – ‘Look for An Evergreen Day’

You’ll get a big boost of seasonal blessings if you follow the inspiration of this ‘Look for An Evergreen Day.’ In fact, Feng Shui says it’s important to add lots of green to your holiday decor. Long considered a ‘healing’ color, green is also strongly considered the most ‘cooling color’ in the spectrum. Green is believed to be able to harmoniously offset the intense heat caused by all the fiery red seen at this time of year. As well, green promotes peace and plenty, while evergreen itself is said to absorb negative vibes loitering around the house. Hanging an evergreen branch or bough on the outside of the entryway door has long been believed to keep negativity and evil at bay while inviting in more peace and prosperity. You can think of this as a totally magical approach to going green for the holidays!

By Ellen Whitehurst for Astrology.com