Tag: AQUARIUS

the daily humorscopes for monday, may 21

the daily humorscope

Monday, May 21, 2012

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You will call someone today, who will insist on calling you “Sven.” Humor them — act impressed.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Today you’ll develop a rare mental disorder, causing you to mix metaphors. But don’t you worry — you can’t make an omlette without a silver lining, and in this case, you’ll discover that everyone will confuse mixed metaphors with management potential. BIG promotion in store.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Today you will discover an ancient stone tablet on which mystic runes are carved. Oddly, when you find someone to translate them from Old Norse, it will turn out to be a collection of moose jokes.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Don’t lose hope! Conditions like yours are painful and embarassing, but often clear up on their own.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Good day to let your imagination soar. Tomorrow: imagining you’re sore.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Time for a career change. Have you considered the exciting and lucrative career of “despot”? One of the nice perks about that is that you can wear a rediculous hat without people laughing at you.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You will discover the secret to becoming a great artist! You can stick anything you want on the wall, the trick is to make people think deep thought went into it. For example, spray-paint a bathroom plunger gold, and stick little angel wings on it. Call it “Life In The Details.”
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Nothing especially remarkable will happen today. You will get a strange urge to talk like Ziggy Marley, but it will pass.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You will become embroiled in a serious dispute about food. Feelings will be hurt. Bygones will eventually be bygones, but not until you ease off on the Tabasco.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
If you don’t start flossing more often, the tooth fairy will be a constant companion. Start taking better care of yourself.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
You will inherit millions, along with a rather elderly butler named Hodgson. You’ll have a nice time.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You’ve been a little down lately, and it’s time to snap out of it! You’ve got to smell the roses while there’s time, since you’re not going to live forever. Which is good, since you’re already seeing hair in funny places…

the daily humorscopes for sunday, may 20

the daily humorscopes

 Sunday, May 20, 2012

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Excellent day to play the William Tell Overture really loud, and leap around flailing your arms. Try not to knock over the lamp.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You will hear a strange flapping sound today. Glancing outside, you will see a precision drill team marching by wearing scuba flippers and waving feather dusters. Avoid eye contact. Stay indoors.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Excellent day to get involved in one or more conspiracies. If you can hold secret meetings in darkened rooms, so much the better!
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Everyone you know will wear unmatched socks, today. Actually, it’s stranger than you think — they’ll all members of a pagan cult, and this is Sock Swap Day.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Beware of Doug.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Late in the day today you will notice that people seem to be staring at your nose. Don’t worry. It’s probably nothing.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You will get a postcard from the Forbidden City today, containing some very unsettling news. You won’t realize that, of course, since it will be written in a language you don’t understand.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You need to stop accepting responsibility for your own life. Everything is actually the fault of that darned liberal media, you know. You’d be nearly perfect, or at least much thinner, if it wasn’t for them.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Don’t lose hope! Conditions like yours are painful and embarrassing, but often clear up on their own.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
You need to be a bit more brusque, to cut down on your interruptions. Stay just this side of gruff, however – and make sure you don’t stray into crustiness.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
A friend will ask you to give her a ride to Main street. You’ll forget where you’re going, though, and drive her to Distraction.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You will attempt to single-handedly bring the “Spaghetti Western” back from obscurity. Your first film will be “A Fistful of Noodles”, in which an aging Clint Eastwood rides into town. This time, however, he will resolve the differences between the Baxters and the Rojos by inviting them all over for a nice pasta dinner.

the daily humorscopes for friday, may 18th

the daily humorscope

 

Friday, May 18, 2012

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Good day to sip tea. Remember to extend your pinkie!
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Today you will become a card-carrying member of a new and very exclusive organization named “Yeomen of the Carbuncle”, although you’ll spend a lot of time at the first meeting debating whether it should actually be called “Yeopersons of the Carbuncle.”
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Unbeknownst to thee, thou art over-fond of archaic terms. Prithee, wouldst thou kindly desist?
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Thrombosis. Beware. Also, your best friend will rush up and indicate by nonverbal means that Timmy is trapped under a log again.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Today you will be invited to go on a 3 hour boat tour, which you think will be lots of fun. It may last longer than you expect…
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Today you’ll suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and believe me, that’ll hurt.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Beware of bubonic plague today. Other than that, things will be fairly normal.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Tomorrow when you wake up, you’ll make an unpleasant discovery. Sometime during the night, you’ll have been visited by the nostril hair fairy.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You will be sucked into a multi-level marketing organisation today, and will lose all your friends, along with your self-respect. Later, though, you’ll realize that your new friends are much better than those old friends, and that you feel like you’re part of a big “family”. Or at least, that’s what you’ll say.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
As a joke, you should put an 8-foot-tall mucous-covered “egg” in your friend’s basement. Then, when he or she goes down to do a load of laundry…
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
You will join a team, and have lots of fun. I’m not sure what sport it is, but the team name will be “The Screaming Weasels”.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Soon, through no fault of your own, you will catch someone underlining words in a library book. It’s just one of those signs, you know? Before the Apocalypse.

the daily humorscopes for thursday, may 17th

the daily humorscope

 

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
A man with a large machine will enter your house, and make you totally miserable.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Good day to begin making a monster costume. Be sure to make it nice and comfy, since you will discover that you actually enjoy lounging around in it.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
You will get the peculiar urge to go outside and roll around in something yicky. Also, you’ll notice your ears are getting hairy.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
There will be a great disturbance in the force, today. Fortunately, it will be caused by a really funny lawyer joke sweeping through the Universe, so there’s no reason for you to worry.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You will write some office email soon that positively sparkles with comic irony. You’ll be asked to knock it off.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You will find that if you deliberately mispronounce “sir” as “sair”, you can answer a lot of questions with either “yes air” or “nose hair.”
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Arachnids will be especially troublesome today. Chances are only fair that you will make it through the day without tangling with one or more giant Amazonian tarantulas. Keep a stick within reach, is my advice. A big stick.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You will have more psychotronic energy today than usual. I recommend that you direct it towards the fridge. There’s something alive in there.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You will stack furniture in the bathtub, today. That’s just the sort of thing you would do, your friends will say.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Your plans to take over the world move forward to the next stage, soon, right on schedule. What you need now is a hunch-backed henchperson with pale protruding eyes. Fortunately for you, a suitable candidate will soon show up at your door, dressed as a peanut.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
A coworker is going to steal one of your best ideas and claim it as his own. That’s about what you should expect, though, from a cow “orker”.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Work has been stressful for you lately, and you’re not likely to see much change for the better unless you take matters into your own hands. This is a situation that calls for subtle guerilla tactics. Your best bet is to get up really early, and bake fresh cinnamon rolls to bring to work. Studies show that it’s really, really hard to dislike someone who gives you a fresh homemade cinnamon roll. Career advancement never tasted so good!

the daily humorscopes for wednesday, may 16th

the daily humorscope

 

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Excellent day to dig a very big hole. If you pile the dirt up around the sides, and make huge “paw prints” around it, you can have some fun by phoning a TV station and telling them about the gigantic gopher you saw.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You will take a wrong turn, today, and become hopelessly lost. Eventually you will start a new life in Minnesota, along with all the other people who have little sense of direction. It’ll be ok, providing you like tuna casserole.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Today you will be struck by the notion that “Life is like one of those little cars that the Shriners get to drive.” You have a mind of great depth and profundity.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Today you will begin to have nagging doubts about your feet.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
This will be a very happy week for you. And you know what they’ve been saying about that for thousands of years, don’t you? “Happy Good! Me Like Happy!”
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Good time to invest in collectible things you never had any use for. Susan B. Anthony dollars may make a good start. (Unlike your usual investments, the value of those can only plummet so far…)
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, is the rule for now. In fact, “nothing” will play a very large part in your future.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
It’s time to seriously consider indoor golf. How else are you going to use terms like “mashie” or “niblick” in casual conversation?
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Today you will find a bumper sticker that truly defines your sentiments. It will say “Buy More Socks!”.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Excellent day for unfettered optimism. Tomorrow: fettered optimism.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
So, you’ve decided to have children. Congratulations! You, er, do know that giving birth has been somewhat unfavorably compared to pushing a flaming log through your nostril? Just thought I’d mention that.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Good time to start on your trophy collection! (You can have them made for yourself, you know.) Personally, I’ve won the “International Tiddly Wink Open” three years running.

the daily humorscopes for tuesday, may 15th

the daily humorscope

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Strange things continue to happen. Today you will put on a long-sleeved shirt, only to discover that the sleeves now extend past your fingertips. You didn’t say anything inappropriate to an elderly British gentleman with strange green eyes, recently? Let’s hope not.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Musical inspiration will strike you today, and you’ll invent some sort of new instrument that looks like a Hoover vacuum bag with a few bits of odd plumbing sticking out of it. The good thing is, the instrument will rivet people’s attention to such a degree that you can indulge your tendency towards cross-dressing without anyone noticing!
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Hug day, today. Various people you know will come up and give you a hug, for no apparent reason. You will find this moderatly embarrassing.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Dogs barking. Can’t fly without umbrella.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You will begin making strange facial expressions, completely unconsciously, in which you push your lips out as far as possible. Also, you will begin spending hours staring at tropical fish.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Good time to wear WAY too much cologne. Well actually, that’s generally not a problem for people who wear cologne. Usually, they have no sense of smell. (Oh come on – you think they’d do that on purpose??)
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You will finally begin your novel! This is very good, since if you’d decided to write a screen play, you would have had to move to California and drive a taxi.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You will lurk, today. There’s nothing that wrong with lurking, after all, and it’s occasionally somewhat refreshing. In fact, you’ll soon begin work on How To Lurk, a best-selling self-help book on the topic.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You are about to invent a night light in the shape of a chess piece, which you will name the “Nighty Knight”. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Today you will be struck by an odd thought. It will do little actual damage, fortunately.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Your plans to take over the world move forward to the next stage, soon, right on schedule. What you need now is a hunch-backed henchperson with pale protruding eyes. Fortunately for you, a suitible candidate will soon show up at your door, dressed as a peanut.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Good day to use the expression “just dandy” as much as possible. Tomorrow: “okey dokey” day.

the daily humorscopes for monday, may 14th

the daily humorscope 

Monday, May 14, 2012

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Today you will put your foot down, regarding your turn at dinner preparation versus dining out. In other words, “if you ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You will need two torches, a sword, leather armor, and a significant amount of courage today. And for heaven’s sake, don’t forget the twine.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Today you will become a digger. Dig, dig, dig. That’s all you’ll think of, for months. You will discover an amazingly large diamond, about 27 feet down, and will be fabulously rich after that. Not that you’ll give me any credit, of course. Ingrate!
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Don’t go out today, without a spatula. I can’t say more.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
People will begin complimenting you on how clean you are. You will find this strangely irritating.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Today you will realize that you’ve always wanted to have the biggest ball of string in town, and will start collecting odd bits of string at every opportunity. Eventually, you will make it into the Guiness Book of World Records, right next to the Giant Happy Tape Ball record set by Mr. S. Boondoggle.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Today one or more close relations will pout. You will stoically endure this, and will steadfastly refuse to relinquish control of the remote control.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
An old man with bad teeth will whack you with his cane today, as you walk past. He’ll pretend it was an accident.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Excellent day to make strange mouth noises, particularly in a crowded elevator.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Excellent day to go into politics. Make up a new government position, such as “Regional Manager, Dept. of The Posterior”, and put up hundreds of posters of yourself. With any luck, it will be years before anyone notices that there is actually no such job.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
It’s about time you became better acquainted with mustard. Get yourself 7 different kinds of mustard, and try them with oven baked home fried potatoes, or in sandwiches with good bread and fresh vegetables and some excellent Swiss cheese. My granddaddy Stonebender always used to say “Take a big enough bite of strong mustard, and your other problems will seem insignificant.”
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You should learn something from your cat — no matter what you’ve done wrong, you can always try to make it look like the dog did it.

the daily humorscopes for sunday, may 13th

the daily humorscope 

Sunday, May 13, 2012

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Not only is this a good day to throw a tantrum, but there’s a good chance that you might set a new distance record!
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Good day to begin that toothpick sculpture you’ve been thinking of. You’ll be the only private individual (aside from Martha Stewart) who orders toothpicks by the case. Martha goes through several boxes just sticking breakfast together, I hear.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
This will be “one of those days”, I’m afraid. The person next to you on the bus will have taken one of those nitroglycerin capsules for his heart condition, and will be bending over to pick up a newspaper, just as the bus hits a big pothole…
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Today you will find yourself boldly charging through life. That can actually get you in trouble, though, so you should really attempt to pay with cash.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Today you will be overcome with a sudden strong urge to learn to play a wooden flute while cavorting around in the forest. I recommend you treat those separately at first. You’ll find what you need under “Music, Instruction” and under “Cavorting, Instruction.” Don’t get talked into buying any cavorting supplies, though — they’re really only needed by professionals.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Today you will discover that there is nothing more silly than a silly laugh. A silly nose wiggle ranks pretty highly, though.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
As a joke, you will put a remote controlled monster under someone’s bed. That will be really funny, although perhaps not quite as funny as when they put a real monster under yours.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Excellent day to come up with new theories to explain the universe around you. Remember: the simplest explanation is usually the best. For example, most physicists today subscribe to the “Big Band” theory of the creation of the universe. I have an alternate theory that I prefer, which I call “Tuba Ensemble”.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Everyone you work with will bring Kim Chee for lunch, today. They’re just doing it to be difficult.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
You will discover a new “5th law” of Thermodynamics. The first law says “you can’t win”. The second law says “you can’t break even”. The 5th law, however, says “never draw to an inside straight”.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
In one of those amusing misunderstandings that often happen due to bad phone connections, you will show up to go on a hike with something unexpected. If you stop and think about it, you’ll realise that it isn’t that likely someone would say “It may be cold, so be sure to bring a goat.”
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
This week you will feel like corn. Just not like having any.

Your Daily Cosmic Calendar for Thursday, May 10

Make steady progress in business and investment matters under the favorable energy-field of the Moon in Capricorn in trine to the Sun in Taurus (5:04AM PDT). This is quickly followed by an equally auspicious and optimism-generating Moon-Jupiter trine in the same earth signs (8:58AM PDT). What could land you in hot water is a Mercury-Mars parallel (9:29AM PDT). This sky pattern can go either way – to give you a boost of emotional and mental vitality or push you to act too fast, without carefully thinking of the potential consequences. Before you know it, the Moon in Capricorn squares Saturn in Libra (12:12PM PDT) – starting a void uncertainty zone that lasts until 10:04PM PDT. During this 9+ hour twilight zone, complete odd jobs and old ventures, but don’t initiate bold, new plans. Have fun with photography, film or video work, poetry and painting, improvisational music and dance while Mercury forms a supportive, 60-degree rapport with Neptune (3:00PM PDT). This may also be a good time to enhance your spiritual studies. Your productivity quotient can reach new heights during the void lunar cycle as Mercury forms a strong parallel with Ceres (8:53PM PDT). Once the Moon enters the universal air sign of Aquarius (10:04PM PDT), start thinking more about joining forces with other like-minded souls in global and humanitarian efforts. Write down overnight dreams as they could be precognitive and tune you into future events as Mercury forms another engaging contact with Neptune, this time a contra-parallel that becomes exact at 5:04AM PDT tomorrow morning.

Wand and Staff Dedication

Wand and Staff Dedication

Raise your wand or staff to the sky to collect the energy from the Sun or the Moon depending on the time of day you are conducting your magickal work. The Moon’s energy can be collected any time at night while the Moon is visible. Midnight is a particularly potent time to collect the Moon’s energy. The power of the Moon can also be captured during certain phases of the Moon depending on the type of magick you wish to perform. New Moon, First Quarter, Full Moon and Last Quarters are all powerful times during which to collect the Moon’s energy. Moon magick also corresponds to goddess energy, creativity, psychic powers, fertility and the element of water.

Your Daily Cosmic Calendar for April 13th

Easy does it! Imagine that you are entering the dangerous terrain of a sworn enemy. What do you do to survive the battle? Right now you need to deal with the Last Quarter Sun-Moon Phase (activating 24 degrees of Aries and Capricorn) at 3:51AM PDT. Cutting through obstacles – mentally and even spiritually – is part of the essence of every solar-lunar connection where the Moon is waning and 90-degrees from the Sun. You also have to be on your toes due to the Moon in Capricorn entering a 4+ hour void lunar uncertainty zone – stretching from 10:06AM PDT to 2:49PM PDT. Finish odd jobs during this void-of-course time-period. Once the Moon enters the universal air sign of Aquarius (2:49PM PDT), you may think that team sports, group projects, community activities and working on global causes close to your heart will meet with celestial approval. However, all day long the red planet is sending out emotional sparks, darts and mini-explosions as Mars halts its retrograde skid at 4 degrees of Virgo and makes a station there at 8:54PM PDT. Ouch! Any time Mars is motionless, you want to strive for serenity and peace of mind. Keep your distance from temperamental individuals and avoid projecting angry feelings on well-meaning friends, colleagues and loved ones. All Mars themes – energy and passion, emotional expression, ego-drive and assertion, independent action, courage and leadership skills, aggression, anger, volatility, fevers and inflammatory behavior – are emphasized today and over the weekend. If you can direct Mars energy into industrious work projects – where organization, order and efficiency are number one priorities – then you will be flowing well with the Virgo component of the red planet’s stationary vibrations.

Daily Cosmic Calendar for March 19th

As the first workday of this week, there could be some strange vibrations going on since the Sun is not only located in the last degree of Pisces, but also in the last degree of the archetypal zodiac that starts with zero degrees of Aries around this date every year. The zodiac contains 360-degrees of space – like any geometric circle – and the solar life-force is now ending one cycle and, at 10:16PM PDT, starting a new cycle. Therefore, much of today’s 24-hour astro-psychic energy-field is filled with a solar dynamic that is harkening back to the past few weeks and months. You may want to mimic this reasoning and conduct a careful review of your last twelve months as a soul-infused personality dwelling on this planet some 93 million miles away from the star that rules over our cosmic neighborhood in the Milky Way galaxy. Re-evaluating your investment and business strategies certainly makes sense because Vesta forms a subtle and yet still important, 30-degree rapport with king of the gods Jupiter (Noon PDT). The Moon enters a 3+ hour void uncertainty zone in Aquarius at 1:32PM PDT and this ends at 5:06PM PDT when the lunar orb enters Piscean waters for the next 2+ days. Tune into your creative imaginative talents, experiment with a video camera or improvise on a favorite musical instrument when the Moon unites with Neptune (8:18PM PDT). Utilize the Sun’s entry into fiery Aries (10:16PM PDT) – one of four sacred turning points of the calendar year at either an equinox or solstice – as an opportunity to take a great leap forward with key enterprises that can give you an enormous boost across the board during the next twelve months.

the daily humorscopes for tuesday, march 13th

the daily humorscope 

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
A man with a large nose will attack you with a sword today, while composing free verse in archaic French. Luckily, he’ll get stuck trying to come up with a word that rhymes with “l’orange”, and you’ll have time to slip out the back way.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Today you will put your foot down, regarding your turn at dinner preparation versus dining out. In other words, “if you ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Today you will become a card-carrying member of a new and very exclusive organization named “Yeomen of the Carbuncle”, although you’ll spend a lot of time at the first meeting debating whether it should actually be called “Yeopersons of the Carbuncle.”
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Not only is this a good day to throw a tantrum, but there’s a good chance that you might set a new distance record!
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
A strange package will appear on your doorstep — a basket of fresh longan fruit, lined with a page from yesterday’s Beijing newspaper. This could be a sign…
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Excellent day to be expansive and benevolent. It will make people worry.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You are about to invent a night light in the shape of a chess piece, which you will name the “Nighty Knight.” You should be ashamed of yourself.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Bad news: people think you’re becoming paranoid. Isn’t that just typical, though? I mean, they don’t even HAVE invisible malevolent air-squids spying on THEM, do they?
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Today you will seek out new life, and new civilisations. You won’t find any, of course, but you will discover a really excellent Chinese restaurant in the process.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Bad news: people think you’re becoming paranoid. Isn’t that just typical, though? I mean, they don’t even HAVE invisible malevolent air-squids spying on THEM, do they?
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Today will be especially trying, and if you’re not careful, you could end up in a pretty grumpy frame of mind. Take precautions! Wear your E.T. underwear.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Remember: you can’t tell your boss to get lost. You can, however, give him the wrong directions.
 
 

The Wicca Book of Days for March 13th – A Planetary Discovery

The Wicca Book of Days for March 13th

A Planetary Discovery

It was on this date in 1781 that the German-born astronomer William Herschel discovered a new planet, whilst working in England, which later took over the astrological ruling of Aquarius from Saturn. We now call this plant Uranus after the Romans’ primeval sky deity. Yet it was initially touch and go whether the new planet would be named Georgium Sidus (the Latin for “George Star”), in respectful recognition of Herschel’s patron, King George III, as Herschel himself had stipulated, or rather Herschel, Herschell, Herschellium, or Herschel’s planet, after its discoverer.

Learn from Lithomancy

The divinatory art of lithomancy requires thirteen stones, symbolizing each of the seven traditional ruling planets (the sun, moon, Mercury, Mars, Venus, Jupiter and Saturn), as well as life, love, health, the home, magick and news. Cast your stones on a table and interpret how they fall.

Calendar of the Moon for March 8th

Calendar of the Moon

Ash Tree Month

Color: Pale Blue
Elements: Water and air
Altar: On a cloth of pale blue set a great bowl of salt water in which are set many shells and stones, a shell full of salt, incense, and the figures of sea-birds and fishes.
Offerings: Wash something clean, or air it out.
Daily Meal: Either fish or seafood, or poultry.

Nion/Anthesterion Invocation

Call: Now is the time of wind and water.
Response: Now is the time of sea and sky.
Call: Now is the time of the Gods of weather.
Response: Now is the time of the great waves.
Call: Now is the time of terrible flooding.
Response: Now is the time of needed rain.
Call: Now is the time of battering gales.
Response: Now is the time of winds of change.
Call: Now is the time of fear of change.
Response: Now, and always, change will win.
Call: The wild winds disturb our dreams.
Response: The wild winds awake our minds.
Call: The heavy rains flood our hearts.
Response: The heavy rains water our future.
Call: The sea will sweep us away.
Response: The sea will bear us up.
Call: The sea is cold and unending.
Response: The sea is the source of life.
Call: We are ships on the lost expanse of the ocean.
Response: We are winds that call to one another.
Call: We will brave the wind and water.
Response: We will bring together mind and heart.
Call: We will come home safely after wandering.
Response: We will anchor safely after our journeys.
Call: We will come through wind and water!
Response: We will come through wind and water!
(Repeat last two lines twice more.)

Chant:
We will come through wind and water
We will come through sea and sky

Calendar of the Moon for February 24th

Calendar of the Moon

Ash Tree Month

Color: Pale Blue
Elements: Water and air
Altar: On a cloth of pale blue set a great bowl of salt water in which are set many shells and stones, a shell full of salt, incense, and the figures of sea-birds and fishes.
Offerings: Wash something clean, or air it out.
Daily Meal: Either fish or seafood, or poultry.

Nion/Anthesterion Invocation

Call: Now is the time of wind and water.
Response: Now is the time of sea and sky.
Call: Now is the time of the Gods of weather.
Response: Now is the time of the great waves.
Call: Now is the time of terrible flooding.
Response: Now is the time of needed rain.
Call: Now is the time of battering gales.
Response: Now is the time of winds of change.
Call: Now is the time of fear of change.
Response: Now, and always, change will win.
Call: The wild winds disturb our dreams.
Response: The wild winds awake our minds.
Call: The heavy rains flood our hearts.
Response: The heavy rains water our future.
Call: The sea will sweep us away.
Response: The sea will bear us up.
Call: The sea is cold and unending.
Response: The sea is the source of life.
Call: We are ships on the lost expanse of the ocean.
Response: We are winds that call to one another.
Call: We will brave the wind and water.
Response: We will bring together mind and heart.
Call: We will come home safely after wandering.
Response: We will anchor safely after our journeys.
Call: We will come through wind and water!
Response: We will come through wind and water!
(Repeat last two lines twice more.)

Chant:
We will come through wind and water
We will come through sea and sky

Cosmic Calendar for Monday, February 20th

Slow your tempo across the board as the universe takes a well-deserved siesta. Except for a gentle and peace-loving Moon-Venus 60-degree sextile pattern (4:29AM PST), a dreamy-visionary Moon-Neptune parallel (7:13AM PST) and a logic-enhancing Moon-Saturn parallel (11:33PM PST), the cosmic scene is relatively quiescent. Love vibrations increase in wavelength – thanks to the Moon-Venus and Moon-Neptune contacts. Allow your multi-faceted personality to express itself with an experimental and improvisational tone to match the lunar currents flying high in Aquarius. Continue enjoying your affiliation with groups, clubs and organizations that fit well with your outlook on society and cultural values. Think more about your exalted destiny on Spaceship Earth rather than superficial interests. Join forces with like-minded souls who are trying to help their fellow human travelers awaken to their global citizenship. This is especially the case as this Monday evening morphs into Tuesday morning when a torrent of cosmic aspects arrives in concert with the Pisces New Moon.

Daily Cosmic Calendar for February 18th

Capture Technicolor dreams and amazing visions in a special notebook by your bed – particularly with the Sun making a parallel to Neptune (12:33AM PST). Keep in mind that parallel and contra-parallel formations – found by watching celestial bodies moving north and south of the Celestial Equator – can be just as prominent as zodiacal unions and polarities. The Sun embracing Neptune in this manner can accentuate the exploration of your religious beliefs and philosophy of life. Several hours after this alignment is exact, the Sun in the last degree of Aquarius makes a flowing trine with Saturn in the last degree of Libra (8:03AM PST). Hard work and perseverance are now the dynamic duo that can lead you to the promised land of worldly success. Another boost on this front can arrive when Mercury forms a supportive, 60-degree liaison with Pluto (1:24PM PST). With some extra elbow grease and focused attention, your business enterprises can be flourishing. Be aware that the Sun changes from airy Aquarius to watery Pisces (10:19PM PST) for the next 30-day solar zodiacal experience – opening the doors of perception to a higher order of existence.

Symbols and Associations of the Element Air

Air has the qualities of coolness and dryness and associations with breath, life, and communication. In astrology, Air rules the zodiac signs Aquarius, Gemini, and Libra. People born under the Air signs think, communicate, analyze, and theorize. They love freedom, truth and justice, and have the ability to change circumstances with amazing speed. As thinkers, they rely on rationality rather than on intuition or emotions. Their philosophical approach to any situation allow them to endure hardship. Air signs can tolerate almost any circumstances, as long as there is a rational explanation for it. They have great leadership capabilities, with a reputation of being fair. Interested in almost everything, they are lifelong students.

The Element of Air becomes a negative one when Air folks require family and friends to uphold the same standards they live by. Air people cannot understand why everyone does not think and act as they do When they make a mistake, they tend to rationalize instead of using the situation as a learning experience. They are devoted to abstract ideas and have difficulty making decisions, making them sometimes exasperating to work with. In addition, they tend to procrastinate.

Cosmic Calendar for Sunday, Feb. 11th

Early birds are likely to fly high and soar above the static of the lower realms since the Moon in Libra makes harmonious trines of 120-degrees to the Sun in Aquarius (2:29AM PST) and Mercury in Aquarius (10:00AM PST). When you have the Sun, Moon and Mercury on a silver platter, rejoice in what the celestial hosts are offering to you. If some important communication channels have been recently blocked, now they have a chance to reopen. This is magnified as the Moon parallels Mercury (10:50AM PST). It also makes good sense to re-vitalize any literary, educational and publishing projects. However, make sure that Saturn is on your side – and not undermining your position due to excess fear moving through your emotions and thoughts – since the Moon unites with beautiful, ringed Saturn in Libra (1:10PM PST). Learn valuable lessons from mentors and teachers in your main fields of expertise. The Moon’s monthly union with Saturn also begins a short void cycle that lasts until 2:02PM PST when the lunar orb activates intense, passionate and driven Scorpio. By 5:23PM PST, psychic storm warnings are posted due to an abrasive, 45-degree link from the Sun to Pluto. Being too pushy, willful and headstrong won’t win you admirers. Opportunity can knock several hours later when a revelatory Pallas-Neptune union happens at the first degree of Pisces (10:39PM PST). Welcome insights pouring in from the higher planes of consciousness. Over the next 48 hours, Mercury will join forces with both Pallas and Neptune to create a triple conjunction right at the beginning of psychic, imagination and empathic Pisces. Your ability to solve key problems and be a savvy strategist helping friends, colleagues and loved ones will depend on tuning into soul-spiritual attributes as well as unlocking logical and common-sense clues from the three-dimensional world.