A Little Humor for Your Day – You might be a redneck if…

You might be a redneck if…

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.

Ya can’t get married to yer sweetheart ’cause there’s a law against it.

You dated one of your parents’ current spouses in high school.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

Your screen door has no screen.

Aha Jokes

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Quiz of the Day: What Does Your Dog’s Breed Say About You?

What Does My Dog’s Breed Say About Me?

In my book It’s a Dog’s Life … but It’s Your  Carpet,  I admit, I make some pretty huge generalizations about breeds  and pet  owners. Granted, they’re my own opinions, but if you really wanted to   know what your veterinarian thinks of you when you walk in the door with  your  breed of dog, read on!

Labrador Retriever

Dedicated, outdoorsy, loyal, and generally a good person to be around. Shops  at REI. Drives a Subaru.

Chihuahua

May bite. The dog too.

Greyhound

Kind, mild mannered. Has neurotic tendencies. Gentle. Laid back. Drinks  bottled water. Often looks like the dog.

Miniature Poodle

Usually owned by a sweet, old, white-haired person.

Terrier

Potential to be a loyal, family-oriented person. Can be snarky and have an  east-coast attitude.

Golden Retriever

Family oriented and generally a good person to be around. Has two or three  human babies.

Miniature Schnauzer

Family oriented. Owned by older adults. Shops at LL Bean and Lands’ End.  Drives a Volvo.

Yorkshire Terrier

Likes to carry a YSL or Gucci purse, often with their pet in it. Enjoys the  high life. Drinks wine, not beer.

Rottweiler

Bad ass. Loyal. Protective. Doesn’t want to be screwed with.

Maltese

Either wants to have a child or have grandchildren. Loves to nurture   and  carry loved ones in arms. Very well dressed. Likes pink bows.

Beagle

Family oriented. High tolerance level for baying.

Bernese Mountain

Financially secure. Educated. Shops at REI, Best Buy, and Nordstroms.

****

What? Don’t believe me? What do you think? Does your breed represent you?

And yes, I purposely skipped stereotyping us American pit bull terrier  dog  owners. But as a veterinary student once said to me: “Dr. Lee … you  look just  like your dog.”

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Daily Feng Shui News for Feb. 18th – ‘Pluto Day’

It was on this date in 1930 that ex-planet Pluto was discovered. On this ‘Pluto Day,’ download an image of Pluto’s glyph and reproduce it in cornmeal on the threshold of your entryway door. It is said that doing so will attract the formidable attributes that Pluto is famous for. Considering that Pluto wields considerable power, you can expect to feel pretty potent after enacting this exercise. Let the cornmeal blow away or sweep it away after leaving it in place for twenty-four hours.

By Ellen Whitehurst for Astrology.com

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Your Charm for Tuesday, February 18 is The Axe Head

Your Charm for Today

The Axe Head

Today’s Meaning:

As an axe comes to a complete stop when it hits the tree so you have grown motionless. You now must draw back, step away from this quadrant of your life and begin again. Set a new path into motion.

General Description:   

This Chinese incised jade Axe head was suspended round the neck, and worn as an amulet to protect the wearer from illness, accidents, and injuries, also as a charm against witchcraft. The Chinese had great faith in the supposed medicinal powers of jade, which was recommended and prescribed by their physicians. The Axe head was always considered to be an emblem of strength and power among primitive races; even today small axe heads are still regarded as effective talismans against disease in many countries, and great faith is placed in their supposed supernatural powers of healing.

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Your Animal Spirit for February 18th is The Deer

Your Animal Spirit for Today

Deer     

If you can imagine Bambi, you can imagine the message Deer brings to you today—a message of sweetness, innocence, and gentle spirit. Be delicate today in your communication with other and with yourself. This is definitely not a time for being critical, mean-spirited, or sarcastic. Just as Deer’s heart can be easily wounded, so can the heart of your friends, co-workers, or family members.

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Your Ancient Symbol Card for February 18th is Love

Your Ancient Symbol Card for Today

Love

Love indicates that love is either present in our life or a distinct possibility. Be open to all possibilities, remembering that true love is given freely, without condition, and does not have to be earned. This is the kind of love we want to welcome into our life and to give to others. Be open to new ideas, and beware of judging against someone in an unloving manner. When Love appears, return to the place where you can love yourself and then seek out the same love from others.

As a daily card, Love suggests that for those who are currently in a relationship the opportunity to deepen the bond is present. For those who are single, Love implies that the prospect for them to begin a romantic relationship is very strong at this time.

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Today’s Tarot Card for Feb. 18th – Strength

Strength

Tuesday, Feb 18th, 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What has traditionally been known as the Strength card represents Nature which, however wild in its primal form, is tamed by our subtler, finer (feminine, interior) self. The will and passion of our instinctive nature does not need to be broken, but refined and brought to consciousness — so that all levels of Creation, inner and outer, may come into harmony.

The feminine soul-force contains a persuasive power that can nurture and induce cooperation from others, stilling disruptive energies by harmonizing differences in the spirit of collective good will.

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Your Horoscopes for Tuesday, February 18th

We feel as if our emotions are being bounced around today on the bumpy road of circumstances, but we can handle the temporary discomfort with a simple change in perspective. The relationship-oriented Libra Moon adds a social twist to current events. Meanwhile, the Sun’s shift into spiritual Pisces reminds us that we’re all connected at the level of soul. We can’t ignore the instability of our feelings, but it helps to remember we are not alone.

Aries Horoscope

(Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You might feel as if a cycle is coming to a close, but you’re just being called to finish up old business so you’re ready for the upcoming action. Hopefully, you haven’t climbed too far out on any limbs lately. However, don’t be too hard on yourself if you have to spend time cleaning up after your overly impulsive behavior. Although you may prefer reminiscing about recent events today, do whatever is necessary to prepare for what’s just around the corner. Don’t waste this chance to make progress while you can.

Taurus Horoscope

(Apr 20 – May 20)

A significant shift is occurring in your life, prompting you to look further off into the distance. Unfortunately, this can be a bit nerve-racking now since your ultimate goals may not synchronize with your current trajectory. You might convince yourself that drastic action is required to get back onto the path that will lead you toward your desired future. Seriously consider your options, but don’t push too hard for change yet. Make your move only when you’re good and ready.

Gemini Horoscope

(May 21 – Jun 20)

A thorough reevaluation of your career objectives may be in order now that the Sun is moving through your 10th House of Professional Responsibility. Think about what steps you need to take to put your life on a faster track to success. You might not feel a major shift yet, but that doesn’t make your process any less unimportant. You could regret it if you let this chance slip by without trying to accomplish something tangible. Thankfully, making a commitment to follow a certain path can bring your dreams to fruition sooner than you expect.

Cancer Horoscope

(Jun 21 – Jul 22)

The current cosmic dynamics are subtle today so you might not feel incredibly full of energy. However, you certainly deserve the emotional boost that is coming your way. You’re beginning to feel more comfortable with yourself and are willing to hold tight to whatever position is necessary to maintain your integrity. Your ideals are high and your vision is wide; walk your talk and see who follows.

Leo Horoscope

(Jul 23 – Aug 22)

You may appreciate the positive side of the changes in your immediate environment, even if a part of you still wants to hold onto the status quo. You might even attempt to gloss over any negative comments that you receive today. This is not a time to respond in a cavalier manner because your current reactions are probably more important than you think. Listen to what people have to say. Don’t run away from the truth; accepting the feedback as constructive guidance rather than criticism now could help you reach your goals in a timely manner.

Virgo Horoscope

(Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You could benefit from standing in front of a mirror today and reminding yourself of what you have accomplished since your last birthday. Set priorities and create goals for the balance of your year now as the Sun moves through your 7th House of Reflection. Once you are sure no one is watching, say whatever you need to pump up your self-esteem. Speak your truth right out loud. Then, go out and make your mark. You can do nearly anything if you put your mind to it.

Libra Horoscope

(Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You are pretty pleased with yourself because you have been riding a wave of positive energy. But even if you’re still benefiting from a recent creative streak, the cosmic vibrations are already beginning to shift. You now need to find ways to take what you’ve started and make it last. This is about establishing new routines in your life, but not any dull ones that take the joy out of your life. Anything goes, as long as it feels good and has some consistency to it.

Scorpio Horoscope

(Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You may feel emotionally refreshed now that the radiant Sun is entering fellow water sign Pisces, though the improvement in your attitude might not seem apparent to others yet. This change is more about your internal psychology rather than your external presence. Vitality is returning to your imagination, replenishing your soul and soothing your emotions. Even if you have heavy responsibilities falling on your shoulders today, lighten your load by making time for creative play. Connecting with your inner child will do you a world of good.

Sagittarius Horoscope

(Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You’re running on mental overdrive now and thoroughly enjoying the buzz. Although the good times are not over, you have some deep thinking to do today that might make you wish you could escape from it all. Before you hop on a one-way flight to a tropical island, bite the bullet and deal with what’s making you feel uncomfortable. Happily, you may not want to go anywhere once you uncover the source of your concerns. Sticking close to home is more enjoyable after you clear the air and make your peace.

Capricorn Horoscope

(Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Although you tend to be ambitious and calculating once you establish a goal, you might be feeling rather confused today. Even if you have already done all the preparation you can, there may be a few surprises waiting for you along the way. Some of these unexpected twists and turns might surface now — as if reality wants to see how you will react if it throws you a curve ball. You don’t have to be perfect in your response; you simply need to give it your best possible effort to hit it out of the park.

Aquarius Horoscope

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Over the past few weeks you have felt pressure to initiate change but you might finally get some relief now as the Sun leaves your sign and heads for the open seas of Pisces. However, it may take some time yet to see where the currents are carrying you. Don’t waste energy worrying about your destination. Once you get your bearings, you can revise your plans as needed. In the meantime, sit back and enjoy the soothing ocean spray of gentle dreams that inspire your journey.

Pisces Horoscope

(Feb 19 – Mar 20)

The light of awareness is shining into the dark recesses of your mind now. Your imagination is heightened and your fantasies are awakened. But you can’t communicate your amazing visions to anyone else if your emotions block your self-expression. Don’t fight against this resistance today. You’ll only waste energy trying to climb over a wall that will soon crumble, anyhow. Instead, keep cultivating your colorful ideas without any interference; wait a few days before proudly presenting them to others.

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Sun in Pisces

Sun in Pisces

It’s time to reconnect with your spiritual side

Tarotcom Staff  Tarotcom Staff on the topics of sun, pisces, astrology

It’s time to wrap up another astrological year! When the Sun moves into Pisces, the last sign of the zodiac, from February 18 to March 20, it signals the ending of one cycle before the next begins at the Spring Equinox.

And what do you do when something ends, before you begin again? Rest! That’s why the Sun in Pisces is considered a time to dream and heal and regain strength before starting the new cycle.

Pisces is symbolized by two Fish, which we like to call “the fishes with wishes.” The fish are swimming in opposite directions, which is representative of the Pisces paradox. This sign is at once caught between feeling the harshness of reality and the desire for dreamy escapism.

It’s normal to feel more spiritual while the Sun is in Pisces. It’s easier to tap into your intuition and we’re more inclined to follow our instincts and surrender to something greater than the individual self. But it can also be a lazy, daydream-filled period, so we must keep our escapist tendencies in check.

Those born from about February 15-21 were born on the Aquarius-Pisces cusp, and those born from about March 18-22 were born on the Pisces-Aries cusp. Being born on the cusp simply means that you were born during the transition time between two  zodiac signs, so you retain some qualities from each sign.

If we can embrace empathy for others without letting their pain make us feel victimized while the Sun is in Pisces, this promises to be a very healing time.

Here’s how to make the most of life with the Sun in Pisces:

What to do: Take care of someone! Pisces is the most compassionate and caring zodiac sign, so they are at their best when doing something kind for others. Adopt this admirable Pisces quality now and use it to ease someone’s pain.

What to say: Something poetic. The dreamy fishes are artsy and creative, so now’s the time to channel your inner Pisces poet and write or speak something beautiful to someone you love.

Where to go: Bed! Pisces can sometimes be called “lazy,” but really they just need a safe place to lie down, close their eyes and dream the day away. If you find your mind meandering while the Sun is in Pisces, give yourself permission to take a sweet little nap.

What to wear: Who cares?! Seriously. Life is not about what we wear, it’s about who we are. That’s the typical Pisces mindset, of course, so if you’re tired of dressing for success, this is a good time to slack into some sweats and forget about fashion while you follow more spiritual pursuits.

What to buy: Anything that will help you feel more connected to your spiritual side. It’s easier to tap into your intuition while the Sun is in Pisces, so shop for New Age healing crystals, incense, candles, Tarot cards and all of Pisces’ favorite spiritual supplies.

What to watch out for: Highly sensitive, compassionate and imaginative, Pisces is at risk of wanting to escape when they feel too much or get caught up in daydreams. Alcohol and drug abuse are common to this sign, so be aware of escapism and try to keep yourself grounded (at least a little bit) while the Sun is in Pisces.

What to look forward to: Healing! By the time the Sun moves out of Pisces, you’ll be rested, renewed, reconnected with your spiritual self and ready to begin a new astrological year!

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Daily Cosmic Calendar for Tuesday, Feb. 18th

Prepare yourself for a momentous day across the board. Primary partnerships may see some new wrinkles and nerves can be frayed as Jupiter in Cancer opposes Pluto in Capricorn at 1:17AM. Don’t make any difficult situations more stressful by trying to throw your weight around or taking a partner for granted. Every act of kindness is a step in the right direction.  Mercury enters compassionate, empathic and psychic Pisces at 6:30AM — although this Messenger of the Gods planet is also slowing down in motion as it nears a three-week reversal starting on Thursday Feb. 6. The Moon in Aquarius is in void mode starting at 8:46AM and lasting 11 hours until 7:46PM when the lunar orb enters Pisces.  In the meantime, Venus — which began a retrograde cycle on December 21, 2013 at 29 degrees of Capricorn — will make a station and turn direct at 12:50PM (activating 14 degrees of Capricorn). [Venus will remain in forward motion until July 25, 2015 when it will go retrograde again at 1 degree of Virgo — a reversal lasting 44 days until September 6, 2015 when it returns to direct motion at 15 degrees of Leo.] Today, all Venus themes — love and romance, business deals and opportunities, social activities, the fine and graphic arts, circles of friendship, your antenna of feelings and sensations, essential values to live by — are accentuated not only at the exact time of the shift, but throughout the entire 24-hour time-period.  Be ready for some celestial shenanigans this evening when the Sun makes an off-kilter, 150-degree tie with Jupiter (8:06PM). When the two largest cosmic bodies form one of these alignments, large-scale plans can often go awry or lose their traction. While a Moon-Mercury conjunction in Pisces (8:40PM) gives communications and correspondence a temporary boost, the red planet Mars in parallel with the Moon (11:09PM) reminds you to be extra sensitive to loved ones needing support rather than criticism. [Note to readers: All times are calculated for Pacific Standard Time. Be sure to adjust all times according to your own local time so the alignments noted above will be exact for your location.]

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Calendar of the Moon for February 18th

Calendar of the Moon

Ash Tree Month

Color: Pale Blue
Elements: Water and air
Altar: On a cloth of pale blue set a great bowl of salt water in which are set many shells and stones, a shell full of salt, incense, and the figures of sea-birds and fishes.
Offerings: Wash something clean, or air it out.
Daily Meal: Either fish or seafood, or poultry.

Nion/Anthesterion Invocation

Call: Now is the time of wind and water.
Response: Now is the time of sea and sky.
Call: Now is the time of the Gods of weather.
Response: Now is the time of the great waves.
Call: Now is the time of terrible flooding.
Response: Now is the time of needed rain.
Call: Now is the time of battering gales.
Response: Now is the time of winds of change.
Call: Now is the time of fear of change.
Response: Now, and always, change will win.
Call: The wild winds disturb our dreams.
Response: The wild winds awake our minds.
Call: The heavy rains flood our hearts.
Response: The heavy rains water our future.
Call: The sea will sweep us away.
Response: The sea will bear us up.
Call: The sea is cold and unending.
Response: The sea is the source of life.
Call: We are ships on the lost expanse of the ocean.
Response: We are winds that call to one another.
Call: We will brave the wind and water.
Response: We will bring together mind and heart.
Call: We will come home safely after wandering.
Response: We will anchor safely after our journeys.
Call: We will come through wind and water!
Response: We will come through wind and water!
(Repeat last two lines twice more.)

Chant:
We will come through wind and water
We will come through sea and sky

[Pagan Book of Hours]

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Calendar of the Sun for February 18th

Calendar of the Sun

18 Solmonath

Ishtar’s Day

Color: Pottery red, terra cotta
Element: Earth
Altar: Set with a cloth of earthy red, and on it place a pitcher of milk and another of wine, bowls of wood and clay filled with grains, olives, figs, and dates, a star, and the figure of a lioness.
Offerings: Grains. Stars. Give food to those who need it.
Daily Meal: Wholegrain bread. Cooked grains. Milk and dairy products.

Ishtar Invocation

I beseech thee, Lady of Ladies,
Goddess of Goddesses,
Ishtar, queen of all cities,
Leader of all men.
Thou art the light of the world,
Thou art the light of heaven.
At thy name the earth and the heavens shake,
And the gods they tremble;
The spirits of heaven tremble at thy name
And the men hold it in awe.
Where thou glancest the dead come to life,
And the sick rise and walk;
And the mind that is distressed is healed
When it looks upon thy face.

Call and response:
For lo, I am the Keeper of the Storehouse
And I am generous to all men!
From my breasts nourishment spills
From my hands nourishment flows
From my heart nourishment streams
I am the Morning Star
I am the Evening Star
I am the Star of Heaven
And I give unto all humanity.

(After this, all should being the work of inventorying all the resources of the house, in Ishtar’s name, so that they may be used more efficiently and that it can be known what can be given to others out of generosity.)

[Pagan Book of Hours]

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Current Moon Phase for February 18th – Waning Gibbous

Gibbous Moon

(waning /76% of illumination)

This is a tremendous time of transmutation. All of the prior elements are coming together for a final burst of creative output. You have seen a clear view of your own needs and the posture of significant others. Now the accumulation of that input is leading to a deep, core change within you. In this phase, you will naturally be inclined to seek higher guidance so that you can emerge from this transformation successfully. The Gibbous Moon favors sharing what you have learned (and are learning) with others.

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Honor Your Household Spirits

Witchy Comments & Graphics

HONOR YOUR HOUSEHOLD SPIRITS

When presenting your house spirits with offerings of incense,
candles or what not you can say this little chant:
“Wraith of the house, Take heart and live,
To every chamber This light I give,
To every corner This breath I send
Approve and favor my willing hand.”

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The Witches Magick for February 18th – Full Moon Cleansing Rite

Witchy Comments & Graphics

The Witches Magick for February 18th – Full Moon Cleansing Rite

Special tools:

Cauldron filled with salt water

Do Your Altar Devotion

Cast the circle. Invocate the Goddess

I greet the Lady and call upon thee Mighty Mother of us all, bringer of all fruitfulness.
I ask you, Mother, to descend upon my circle and reside within me, thy priest/ess.

Invocation of the God

I call upon thee O Great Father, Sun and Consort of the Mother ,who brings her light and warmth. Come forth Mighty Horned One. Live now within the body of this thy priest/ess.

Cleansing

Anoint forehead with salt water

“I cleanse my thoughts that they might be pure and honest –
grant that they always be pleasing to the God and Goddess.”

Anoint throat

“I cleanse my voice that all that I say might be for good and naught for ill or harm.”

Anoint heart

“I cleanse my heart that it might be open, giving and full of light. Grant that I might give
freely of my love and care to others.”

Anoint hands

“I cleanse my hands that I might use them for workings of good, to help and never to harm.”

Anoint feet

“I cleanse my feet that they might take me far in life, that my journeys may be filled with love,
light, peace and the joy of the Goddess and God.”

Meditation for a time.

Cakes and Wine (eating bread and drinking wine or juice to restore energies spent during ritual)

Release the circle, thank the God and Goddess.

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WOTC Extra – How to Train Your Mind to Positive Thought

Witchy Comments & Graphics

WOTC Extra – How to Train Your Mind to Positive Thought

Training your mind to practice positive thinking enables you to increase your self-esteem and perceived control in your life. Learning how your mind works and how to incorporate positive thoughts can help improve many areas, including work, family and social relationships. Improving your life through positive thinking, however, requires a proactive effort on your part to combat and change your current lifestyle and perceptual attitudes.

Instructions

1.  Identify the internal negative thought patterns your mind uses. Types of negative thought patterns include: personalizing (blaming yourself), filtering (focusing only on the negative) and catastrophizing (anticipating the worst and blowing negative events out of proportion). Think of concrete examples in your own life in which you internalized problems and used these patterns to think negatively about situations.

2.  Practice positive self-talk. Think of a negative situation which you encountered over the past day or week. Turn the negative thoughts you had about the event into positive thoughts. For example, perhaps you experienced a flat tire on your way home from work. Instead of catastrophizing the event, find a way to spin it into a positive experience (e.g., you gained the important skill of changing a flat tire). Practice this positive self-talk for several negative situations or events that you’ve experienced to get into the habit of training your mind towards a different thinking pattern.

3.  Evaluate your thoughts throughout the days and weeks that follow. Periodically stop throughout the day to review your internal thoughts to determine if they have been mostly negative or positive. Think rationally about the negative thoughts which you do encounter. Find ways to spin those negative thoughts and train your mind to see them in a positive light.

4.  Create a positive thoughts journal. Spend time each evening or morning reflecting and writing down good things that have happened in your life or throughout the day. Acknowledging good events and positive experiences then writing them down helps improve your thinking habits and trains your mind to think positively.

5.  Find healthy ways to deal with stressful events and situations. Develop and keep an exercise routine several times a week. Exercise and regular physical activity stimulate brain chemicals that improve your mood and boost energy levels, according to the Mayo Clinic. Spend time each day in meditation, focusing on clearing your mind and on relaxation. Meditation decreases the negative effects of stress and rejuvenates the mind and body.

6.  Surround yourself with positive friends and family members. Negative people who continually focus on the bad and are unsupportive may only re-enforce negative thinking habits. Alternatively, making friends with and spending time with supportive individuals may help you achieve clarity when troubling situations arise.

Article By Matthew Schieltz, eHow Contributor

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The Witches Correspondences for Tuesday, February 18th

Witchy Comments & Graphics
The Witches Correspondences for Tuesday, February 18th

Magickal Intentions: Courage, Physical Strength, Revenge, Military Honors, Surgery and the Breaking of Negative Spells, Matrimony, War, Enemies, Prison, Vitality and Assertiveness
Incense: Dragon’s Blood, Patchouli
Planet: Mars
Sign: Aries and Scorpio
Angel: Samuel
Colors: Red and Orange
Herbs/Plants:Red Rose, Cock’s Comb, Pine, Daisy, Thyme and Pepper
Stones: Carnelian, Bloodstone, Ruby, Garnet and Pink Tourmaline
Oil: (Mars) Basil, Coriander, Ginger

Mars rules Tuesday. The energies of this day best harmonize with efforts of masculine vibration, such as conflict, physical endurance and strength, lust, hunting, sports, and all types of competition. Use them, too, for rituals involving surgical procedures or political ventures

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Tuesday Is Ruled By Mars

Witchy Comments & Graphics
Tuesday Is Ruled By Mars

Archangel: Samael

Candle colour: Red

Incenses: Dragon’s blood or cinnamon

Crystals: Jasper or garnet

Use Tuesdays for spells for courage, change, independence in home or business life, for overcoming seemingly impossible odds and for passion.

Where possible, work near a fire or a bonfire or with a huge red beeswax candle as a focus; alternatively work next to a flowerbed or large vase of red, orange and/or yellow flowers.

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