‘THINK on THESE THINGS’
By Joyce Sequichie Hifler
When winter presses a cold, gray hand against every living thing and temporarily puts to sleep all outward growth and activity of other seasons, there is within a quiet, invisible, but very active preparation for a lighter, warmer time.
There are times when the winters of life press hard upon us, seeming to keep from us any hope for good. But as the coldest winter does not prevent a tulip from developing a blaze of color within the bulb, there is nothing to prevent our own inner growth.
We quite naturally want the things that will make us happy and we want them now. But there is still a time of preparation, the development of our abilities to recognize the good and the beautiful when we see it. Otherwise, we are apt to look past them, still searching.
The tulip has a plan drawn by God’s hand, and more beautiful than anything we can make. We have a way of moving from one time to another, waiting for life to come to us instead of having a plan. But during those waiting periods we need to make a little effort to determine the course and to be ready when the right time comes.
Available online! ‘Cherokee Feast of Days’
By Joyce Sequichie Hifler.
Visit her web site to purchase the wonderful books by Joyce as gifts for yourself or for loved ones……and also for those who don’t have access to the Internet: http://www.hifler.com
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Elder’s Meditation of the Day
By White Bison, Inc., an American Indian-owned nonprofit organization. Order their many products from their web site: http://www.whitebison.org
Elder’s Meditation of the Day – October 15
“All of us begin to rethink what is good about ourselves – put the past where it belongs – and get on with the possibilities of the present!”
–Howard Rainer, TAOS PUEBLO-CREEK
There is a saying, you move toward and become that which you think about. So the question for today is, what are you thinking about? Are you thinking bad things about yourself or are you thinking good things about yourself? Are you thinking about a worldly life? Are you thinking good things about people or are you gossiping about people? Are you focusing on past things or are you living in the future? We need to bring our thoughts into the NOW, right here.
Great Spirit, let me experience living in the present moment.
October 15 – Daily Feast
Some of us go to great lengths to keep from doing detail work – anything from flipping through a directory for one name in ten thousand to guessing at amounts in a recipe. No time, no time. Time isn’t saved by guessing. Even when we hit it right once in a while – most of the time we are just a little off. How many of us take our basic instructions from hearsay – how many don’t really want to know anyhow? Life itself has an instruction book. There’s no reason to guess at what is right or wrong. We have a script for every part we play in life. When we have a need of any kind, the script has the wisdom to handle it. The Scriptures leave out nothing – and the biggest mistake we can make is to say we don’t believe it – and go off to figure it out by guessing.
~ We were put here by the Creator and these were our rights. ~
CHIEF WENINOCK – YAKIMA, 1855
‘A Cherokee Feast of Days, Volume II’ by Joyce Sequichie Hifler
Good things you deserve
Living richly isn’t just for someone else. You deserve a life that’s filled with richness and joy, and you deserve to be the person who makes it happen.
Good fortune isn’t just for someone else. You deserve to have good fortune, and you deserve the experience of creating that good fortune with your attitude and your efforts.
You deserve to have a lucky break. So get busy and do what it takes to give yourself one.
Let today be the day you stop waiting for something good to come along. Get up, get going, and make something good, valuable and meaningful out of what you already have.
Go ahead and give yourself all the good things you deserve. Feel how great it feels to be positive, focused, helpful, compassionate, caring, productive and joyful.
You deserve the best in life precisely because you’re fully capable of making it happen. Your opportunity to live richly is here and now, so put it to outstanding use without another moment’s delay.
— Ralph Marston
A Place for Worries and Fears
A surrender box is a tool to let go of our burdens so the universe can take care of them for us.
There are times when our minds become too full. Our to-do lists, worries, plans, and dreams may be so crowded together in our heads that we don’t have room to think. We may believe that we are somehow taking care of our desires and concerns by keeping them at the forefront of our minds. In maintaining our mental hold on every detail, however, we may actually delay the realization of our dreams and the resolution of our worries because we won’t let them go. At times such as these, we may want to use a surrender box.
A surrender box allows us to let go of our worries and desires so the universe can take care of them for us. We write down what we want or need to happen and then place the note into a box. By writing and placing our thoughts in the box, we are taking action and letting the universe know we need help and are willing to surrender our feelings. We give ourselves permission to not concern ourselves with that problem any longer and trust that the universe is taking care of it. You may even want to decorate your box and place it in a special place. Your surrender box is a sacred container for your worries. Not only do you free up space in your mind by letting go of our worries and desires and dropping them into your surrender box, but you are giving your burden over to a higher power. Once we drop our worries and desires into the surrender box, we free our minds so we can be fully present in each moment.
Surrendering our worries and concerns and placing them in the hands of the universe doesn’t mean that we’ve given up or have been defeated. Instead, we are releasing the realization of our desires and the resolution of our worries and no longer concerning ourselves with their outcomes. It’s always fun to go back and pull the slips of paper out of the box once your requests have been granted. And it’s amazing how quickly problems go away and dreams come true when we finally let go and allow a higher power to help us.
Finding The Craft
The question is innocent enough: “How did you find your Pagan Path?” Sort of like the Christian equivalent, “How did you find Christ?” Both are simple questions, but for me, at least- the explainable answer is not easy. Heck, it would be easier for me to try to convince the Smithsonian that the chewed-up Barbie doll head I found in my back yard is a prime example of “Australopithecus Spiff-Arino”. (Some eccentric fellow actually tried that- and other equally eccentric stunts, and succeeded in amusing the staff, and unwary Web-nauts like me.)
The simple answer was that I was born a mage. That is right—being a magus is something that is so much a part of me that in looking back, my journey was more one of rediscovery than actual discovery. My life, from about age 7 onward, has been like a fascinating jigsaw puzzle with the pieces hidden in time instead of space, and my life has been a series of “Ah, Ha!” moments when a piece clicked into place. As the tapestry of who I was/am has unfolded, it has left a wonderful trail of discovery, experience (both good and bad) and insightful enlightenment in its wake. And it has also left a growing trail of writings—essays such as this one—as breadcrumbs for those Kindred Mages who are also rediscovering themselves and the Way.
Don’t get me wrong—Harry/ette Potter I ain’t. (I haven’t read the books yet—I am waiting for the whole series to be complete so I can (a) get them all at once and (b) read them all at once. I’m odd that way.) When I realized at age 12 or so that I was not destined to take the path of Catholicism and motherhood that my mother trod, I had no name for who I was or what path I was on. In my marrow there was a call that no church could answer. All I knew was that I was responsible for my development and that there was not going to be any popular culture help coming my way. Mine was the unblazed trail, and all I had was the primitive compass of my untried BS detector to guide me.
I spent the first seven years of my realization as a minor at home, and in a state whose libraries had no occult or metaphysical texts whatsoever. Any information relevant to my path was scarce, and when gleaned, was pored over with an intensity that I envy today. Perhaps the lack of information, and the deep attention to detail I paid to what little wisdom I gleaned helped to set my feet more firmly on the path. I wonder if I would have fared as well and as long had I had access to the materials available today. A curious youngster can read in one evening, and by one or two writers, stuff that took me years to acquire. But time runs differently now, and I acknowledge that, and hold no ill will towards today’s young seekers. Envy, perhaps, but not too much- I know what lies ahead for most youngsters on this path. (A hint—it gets much better after about age 29 or so… Honest! Go look up Saturn’s Return in an astrological text to get a hint of what you’re in for. Trust me- you’ll live, and be that much the wiser.)
The simplest name for who I am and what I do is “Way”. This is a life pattern of intense hunger for knowledge, a burning, almost. It is a method of testing and questioning everything—whether orthodox or liberal, and in doing so, developing a ‘gut’ instinct about people and life that is trusted above all else. It is a long process of creating and aligning a moral compass, yet permitting the world outside to be inhabited. There are no isolated ivory towers or monasteries on this Path except for short rests for digesting information—it requires full engagement in all life has to be offered. It is being in the world, but not of it, as Ralph Blum wrote in “The Book of Runes”. Fine-tuning this ‘gut’—or more precisely, Axis—requires that errors be made—even costly ones. Only through trial, error, and success can this central axis be finely balanced, and only time and real life experience can prove it. The goal and end result is courage and wisdom and the thorough internal alignment that only a series of hard knocks can achieve. The burning for knowledge also burns away the blinders and dross that hinders ones progress along the Way. The weight of knowledge is balanced by the Lightness of Wisdom, and once tempered, no spiritual assault can destroy it.
My Way is not an easy one, and not for the timid or easily discouraged. There have been long periods in my life where it seems that nothing has happened—no interesting insights, people or events surfacing for me to focus on and hone my Axis. But in retrospect, those seemingly lean times permitted me to internally process things to prepare me to find that next piece. Doing so would start the process again.
George Leonard wrote in “Path of Mastery” that most people get into something, and experience diminishing returns. This can be due to boredom, difficulty, loss of interest, or lack of challenge by the activity. They start out gangbusters, but gradually taper off into indifference. Many people, including myself, have left a trail of such endeavors in our lives. I can think of a health club membership… but I would rather not.
Leonard continues that in order to master something and keep it interesting and challenging, one must ramp up the difficulty and complexity in a series of steps. Each step involves an effort to obtain it, and the mastery of the step proceeds in a steady manner- and with diligent practice—towards the next challenge and burst of physical and/or mental energy required to surmount it. Thus, the rate of progress is a steady climb and growth of interest and mastery, instead of the initial burst and tapering off of failed efforts.
I call these steps The Spiral Path, because eventually I find myself back at a familiar place or activity, but at a higher level of ability. I tend to have phases where I am more social than other times, and each time I enter a social phase, where I am working with other Pagans and fellow Wayfarers, or participating in the community at large, I find myself at a more and more mature place and level. This is to be expected, and is the mark of life’s progress. If you find yourself being treated like a newbie after years of practice, consider that a hint that perhaps you need to refine your practice and insight. Sadly, there are people who are ‘stuck’ at a certain level, and unaware of it. To walk the steps of the Spiral Path means to challenge your deepest rooted images of yourself. Are you still dressing and acting like you did in the late eighties? That’s a hint right there. Are you willing and ready to examine and discard those presumptions? Doing so often energizes the next step upward.
As I have traveled up my own Spiral Path, I have taken and discarded both magickal and practical names for both myself and my Way. My earliest Pagan name has been long retired, but meant “Strength of the Goddess” in Norse/Latin. I was a ‘baby Pagan’ then, having just read and discovered Wicca through Starhawk’s book The Spiral Dance. That was in 1980, after I had left my parents’ home and was on my own. My name when I was training in Wicca in Germany was Sunfell, (Clothed In Sunlight) and has become my pen name and Internet handle. It reflects the hardest and most rewarding time of my ‘journeyman’ years as a priestess-in-training in Wicca. My current magickal name was bestowed upon me nearly five years ago in a Native American Naming Ceremony, after a ritual purification and Inipi sweat. In the course of this intense training, which lasted several months, I learned about the American roots of Wicca, and that much of what is Wicca today is more American in origin than British. That puzzle piece did not dim my appreciation of Wicca, but made me understand that the more discoveries I make, the more things I find are in common.
My teachers through this 28-year journey were many and varied. Some teachers were strangers with whom I had a casual conversation. Others were old friends who are still part of my life. And still others were actual teachers and initiators, people that I trusted enough to permit them to see me at my most vulnerable. I still am very much a student, but have reached the place in my travels and understanding that I can also teach. This I do informally, through my writing and my living. If my writing lights up an “ah-HA!” in someone somewhere on this Internet, I may never know it unless they email me, but that does not matter. I cannot email Mark Twain and tell him how much he has made me both laugh and think, but I know that those behind me will appreciate his works too. In person, I do not teach formally. Instead, I simply live my life fully and with complete confidence that the Axis I worked so hard in honing will serve me fully and continue to refine itself. And in living with this confidence, perhaps my attitude can be a tiny meme that ignites that same confidence and curiosity and Inner Light in those around me. It is a subtle evangelism that encourages confidence and competence instead of undermining it.
In finding my Way through my life, I have donned and shed many labels. I have been Roaming Catholic, nameless, Pagan, Wiccan, Spiritualist, Gnostic, and currently Eclectic TechMage studying Franz Bardon’s system of Hermetic Pathworking. This has been my longest held and most accurate label for myself, but if something more precise comes along, I shall upgrade to that. I am also a computer tech- and ongoing learning and upgrading are par for the course. Why should my spiritual and metaphysical Way be any different?
The bottom line is that my Path to and with Paganism and metaphysics in its many forms has been a series of refinements, discoveries and upgrades. An idea or concept will reveal itself and snap into place, and I thoroughly explore it until the next challenge/piece reveals itself and I climb to another level. It is always rewarding and engaging, and I am daily grateful that the magickal seed within me lived to grow and flourish. As part of my gratitude for this life, I am doing what I can to share the Light I was privileged to bear.
Author: Belladonna Laveau HPs
I have watched Wicca face many challenges over the years. We have accomplished much. We have received recognition as a valid religion. The IRS has granted church status to some Wiccan groups. We have festivals all over the US, so that we can worship together. We have many networking resources that allow us to find each other. We have tons of books on the subject. We even have books about books on Witchcraft. We have grown tremendously in numbers and in ideologies.
Today we witness a variety of concerns. We want manicured temples in which to hold handfastings, wiccanings, and requiems. We want rites of passages, and to honor our seasonal celebrations as a community. We want to frequent pagan businesses, drink at pagan pubs, and send our children to pagan schools. We want to celebrate our religion locally, without having to make a major investment in camping gear, or driving to a remote location and battling the weather, so that we can worship in privacy and peace.
Today’s biggest challenge to Wicca is not it’s lack of volunteers, or lack of ideas, lack of heart, courage, or ambition. Our biggest challenge is lack of organization and resources. We are an amazingly, interesting, multi-talented, powerful and charismatic people. Yet we are so driven in our individualism, that we have difficulty working together as a whole.
Churches provide the many social programs that we are begging for, such as schools, food banks, community centers, and public temples. Churches provide legal protection, validate our clergy, accredit our schools, network our businesses, minister to our sick and needy, and host our seasonal celebrations. They provide religious support and social services to the community that makes our world a better place. They give us the opportunity to connect as a society and allow us to do more working together than we could do as individuals acting alone. They foster culture, such as music, art, poetry, and theater.
Churches are a vital part of a healthy community. It is through churches that each of us can find our place to serve the greater community at large.
But, we don’t have many churches, and the ones that we do very closely resemble covens. They are mostly small, and have no formal meeting place. Why, with a throng of people begging for ministering, can we not provide services for our seekers? Is it because we don’t believe in proselytizing? Is it because we are afraid and wanting to hide from public view? No. It’s because we don’t monetarily support a clerical body to freely provide religious services.
Let’s be honest with ourselves, when was the last time that you went to a pagan event, and offered ANY money to the facilitator that wasn’t a required fee? When was the last ritual you attended where a plate was passed to collect money? When was the last time that you got your paycheck and thought, ‘I should give 10%, or 5% or even $10 to my local priestess?
Statistics prove that 99% of us would have to answer: NEVER. My question to you is, “Why not?”.
For any of us to ever have the community we dream of, YOU and I have to tithe to our local groups. You can’t wait until you have “extra” money, or until you see others doing it. YOU have to set the example. YOU have to make it a priority. You have to decide to budget it in. You choose to spend your money on what’s important to you. You can choose to set aside some for the Goddess, or you can choose not to.
We wonder why other churches don’t take us seriously, but we have been sending a very clear message to our government, our community and our clergy that while our books, candles, herbs and crystals are very important to us, our religious institutions are not.
I run a church. It used to be a coven, now it’s a legal entity under the umbrella of the Aquarian Tabernacle Church. I am asked to tithe 10% of our receivables to the mother church monthly. There are many affiliates, who utilize the resources that the ATC has to offer. It costs the ATC about $75, 000 a year to provide the services that we enjoy. Less than $1, 000 of that money comes from Tithes.
The church must charge a fee for their celebrations in order to raise this money, or they would not have the funds needed to continue operations. Last year, I invested over $20, 000 on my personal resources into our church. I received less than $500.00 in tithes from our members, which is a marked improvement from the year before.
Say what you will about charging for spells, that’s not what I’m talking about. It’s true that making money off the craft can lead one down a dark road. But, I ask you, when is the last time you suspected a High Priestess of purchasing a new car on embezzled church funds? We are not in jeopardy of making anyone rich off the pagan community, yet.
I strongly encourage you to be watchful of your leaders. Immediately quit giving your money to anyone, whom you feel is misappropriating it. Don’t support ANY leaders, whom you do not feel deserves an energy exchange for their services. But, if you participate in a community, find some way to give back, even if it’s just the spare change you collect in a bowl on your altar.
Many of you volunteer your time and services. This is important. The community runs on volunteerism. But, services don’t pay the light bill. It won’t buy land or a building. Time, talent, and treasure together make up an appropriate offering to the Goddess. It doesn’t take a lot of money. If every one of the people, who considers me their spiritual leader, were to give me $1 a month, I could open a public temple and sit in it all day planning free public events, teaching free classes, and giving readings, healings, and free spiritual counseling to the community. Each of us could have an on call spiritual leader, if we’d work together to support the ones who are already doing the work. Isn’t that the world we would rather live in?
We have become jaded against the idea of giving money, but it’s only through pooling our mutual resources that we will ever have the common services that other religions enjoy. Churches provide the services that we are asking for. We don’t have these services, because we aren’t supporting our local pagan ministries, so that they have the resources to grow these services for us. Lack of tithing, donating, offering, or sponsoring is the single biggest obstacle Wicca faces today.
Our spiritual institutions have already overcome many obstacles as a religion, such as getting the government to put Pentacles on military headstones. But, the one obstacle that stands looming over every pagan leader is lack of funding.
It’s time we changed that.
A lot of us have been here somewhere: the first time we picked up a book on it, the first time we had a Pagan/Wiccan friend tell us it wasn’t all about casting curses or eating babies, our first Google search on the subject. Maybe some of us even started out on the Witches’ Voice. Some of us maybe even found our way here after a lot of searching and an eventual suggestion from a friend or a family member out there somewhere. Some of the lucky ones were raised pagan and came here solely to post their own knowledge. Many of us are always still searching for more information as and when it comes up and always love having the opportunity to learn as much as we can. Some get really comfortable in one tradition and others, like myself, like to remain eclectic with their practice.
It’s due to this fluidity that a lot of my friends have become interested in my practice. One of my friends and I now has a partnership and she really wants it to turn into a coven. As of this writing (December 2010) , my friend has only been in her practice for a few months. As she lives a few hundred miles away in another city, we share our book of shadows through my Google docs (thanks to my much loved Gmail account) . It’s something that she really enjoys since it gives her an opportunity to learn about something that she wouldn’t have easy access to in any other way. More so, when she lives too far from a library to check out any of the books I suggest.
We’ve known each other for about three years; I’ve been a practicing Pagan since before I met her. Before that I was a practicing Christian and, for the most part, was miserable to the core. I learned through tedious numbers of Google searches and books checked out from the library on the subject. It took me a long time to read these books (and sometimes money in fines just so I could keep them longer due to a hold on the same title) and to find out whatever I could. I looked into everything that held my interest and anything that I could possibly get my hands on.
Having someone new under my belt like this, I could steer her mostly clear of the things I discovered were fake and turn her to places that I knew were more secure, places that I was sure would give her accurate information. Some of the books I’ve mentioned I was reading about it when I met her even made the point that Pagans and Wiccans didn’t eat babies within the first few pages of the book. Some of them even go after a lot of the other common myths that a lot of Americans have learned from their movies.
I know I’ve had friends asking me questions on my religion based on everything from the Disney movies a lot of us watched as children (and will probably show a lot of our own children one day if grandma doesn’t show these movies to them) to the horror movies that we see coming out every day. Even newer movies like The Princess and the Frog show images that are negative or incorrect images of what some of us believe.
It’s finding these kinds of things out that can make or shatter many peoples’ views of Pagans and Wiccans. Many of these people may even fear us because of what the media has to say about us. I’ve been one of the lucky ones; most of my friends have had no problems with my religion. Many of them aren’t afraid of any of the magick I do or anything that I currently practice.
There were a few who freaked out about it but others who didn’t. It’s the ones who stay that have learned the most from me, the ones who have seen through a lot of the myths that they’ve had the chance to ask me about. One friend has even embraced a new religion because I have been able to help her learn and this despite the fact that she lives so far away from me for most of the year.
These opportunities to learn are something that I always hope to be able to offer. I know I got lost on my own way to where I am now and would like to be a hand reaching out to guide others who ask it of me. I’ve chosen my own path and help others who have asked me for it without trying to convert anyone like so many of my friends have or that some of my peers have tried to do. Being a bisexual person, it’s one of the few places that I could consider a church and not have a priest tell me I wasn’t allowed or welcomed there. This Pagan religion is something that draws me and so many others and that will continue to attract more people as information on it continues to rise (both legitimate and illegitimate) .
Though the idea of a coven is new to me and isn’t something I thought I’d ever plan on doing anywhere other than online, the idea is also a bit exciting. The idea of being a High Priestess in a coven that I myself created and started is absolutely intimidating. It’s another way to get started in my practice that I never dreamed that I would be doing, no matter how long I had been practicing and how much I believed I knew.
Even now, with my entire book of shadows available to a friend, the idea that I could have more people working under me and looking for guidance has both its pros and cons. I am excited about having more people to share things with and to share what they were learning from various areas of the craft with me and yet I also am anxious about having people learning a lot from me that they may have never learned before. Even with one person, it’s been an experience and I love having the opportunity. It’s a version of ‘getting started’ that I’m excited to begin anew.
The Dumb Supper – A Feast With the Dead
Speaking to the Dead:
Although traditionally a seance1 is a good way to communicate with those who have crossed into the spirit world, it’s also perfectly fine to talk to them at other times. You may find yourself walking into a room and suddenly reminded of someone you’ve lost, or catching a whiff of a familiar scent. For me personally, every February I find myself picking over birthday cards and thinking to myself how funny my grandfather would find this one or that one. I make a point of telling him about them, even though he died in 2002. You don’t need a fancy or formal ritual to speak to the dead. They hear you.
How Do We Know They’re Listening?:
In some spiritual paths, one may be viewed as crazy — or at the very least, a little bit daffy — if they speak to the dead. But think of the people you know who have lost a spouse, particularly one they were married to for a long time. Many of them will tell you they talk to their deceased loved one. We can ask them for assistance, for companionship, or just for them to hear our words. Chances are good that if you ask, your life will change significantly.
What Can We Say to Them?:
Ask anyone who’s lost a loved one, and there’s a good chance they have something they didn’t get to say. Whether it’s “I love you”, “I forgive you,” or just plain old, “I really miss you,” there’s nearly always something we wanted to say but never got around to. When you talk to the dead, share with them the things in your life that are important. Maybe you need to let Grandma know that you’re finally going to have that baby girl she’d been hoping for. Or perhaps you need to tell Cousin Joe you’re sorry you broke his iPod. Whatever it is, if it’s on your mind say it. Only then will you be able to move on.
An Altar to the Ancestors:
In many cultures, ancestor worship is an ancient practice. Although traditionally found more in African and Asian societies, more and more Pagans of European heritage are beginning to embrace this idea. After all, we all want to know where we came from. You can build an altar to honor your ancestors, featuring photos, heirlooms, and even a family tree sheet. Leave it up all year long, or set it out at Samhain. This is a good time to perform a ritual for Honoring the Ancestors.
Why on Samhain?:
Why hold a Dumb Supper on Samhain? Well, it’s traditionally known as the night when the veil between our world and the spirit world is at its most fragile. It’s the night when we know for sure the dead will hear us speak, and maybe even speak back. It’s a time of death and resurrection, of new beginnings and fond farewells.
Menus and Table Settings:
Your menu choices are up to you, but because it’s Samhain, you may wish to make the traditional Soul Cakes, as well as serving dishes with apples, late fall vegetables, and game if available. Set the table with a black cloth, black plates and cutlery, black napkins. Use candles as your only source of light — black if you can get them.
Realistically, not everyone has black dishware sitting around. In many traditions, it’s perfectly acceptable to use a combination of black and white, although black should be the predominant color.
When you’re hosting a Dumb Supper, clearly the point is that no one can speak — and that makes a host’s job very tricky. It means you have the responsibility of anticipating each guest’s needs without them communicating verbally. Depending on the size of your table, you may want to make sure each end has its own salt, pepper, butter, etc. Also, watch your guests to see if anyone needs a drink refill, an extra fork to replace the one they just dropped, or more napkins.
Other Samhain Rituals:
If the idea of a Dumb Supper doesn’t quite appeal to you — or if you know darn well that your family can’t be quiet for that long — you may want to try some of these other Samhain rituals:
- Celebrate the End of the Harvest
- Honor the Ancestors7 at Samhain
- Samhain Ritual for Animals
- Hold a Seance9 at Samhain
The Dumb Supper:
In some Pagan and Wiccan traditions, it has become popular to hold a Dumb Supper in honor of the dead. In this case, the word “dumb” refers to being silent. The origins of this tradition have been fairly well debated — some claim it goes back to ancient cultures, others believe it’s a relatively new idea. Regardless, it’s one that’s observed by many people around the world.
When holding a Dumb Supper, there are a few simple guidelines to follow. First of all, make your dining area sacred, either by casting a circle, smudging, or some other method. Turn off phones and televisions, eliminating outside distractions.
Secondly, remember that this is a solemn and silent occasion, not a carnival. It’s a time of silence, as the name reminds us. You may wish to leave younger children out of this ceremony. Ask each adult guest to bring a note to the dinner. The note’s contents will be kept private, and should contain what they wish to say to their deceased friends or relatives.
Set a place at the table for each guest, and reserve the head of the table for the place of the Spirits. Although it’s nice to have a place setting for each individual you wish to honor, sometimes it’s just not feasible. Instead, use a tealight candle at the Spirit setting to represent each of the deceased. Shroud the Spirit chair in black or white cloth.
No one may speak from the time they enter the dining room. As each guest enters the room, they should take a moment to stop at the Spirit chair and offer a silent prayer to the dead. Once everyone is seated, join hands and take a moment to silently bless the meal. The host or hostess, who should be seated directly across from the Spirit chair, serves the meal to guests in order of age, from the oldest to youngest. No one should eat until all guests — including Spirit — are served.
When everyone has finished eating, each guest should get out the note to the dead that they brought. Go to the head of the table where Spirit sits, and find the candle for your deceased loved one. Focus on the note, and then burn it in the candle’s flame (you may wish to have a plate or small cauldron on hand to catch burning bits of paper) and then return to their seat. When everyone has had their turn, join hands once again and offer a silent prayer to the dead.
Everyone leaves the room in silence. Stop at the Spirit chair on your way out the door, and say goodbye one more time.
How To Honor the Ancestors at Samhain
Many Wiccans and Pagans choose Samhain as a night to honor their ancestors.
For many modern Pagans and Wiccans, there has been a resurgence of interest in our family histories. We want to know where we came from and whose blood runs through our veins. Although ancestor worship has traditionally been found more in Africa and Asia, many Pagans with European heritage are beginning to feel the call of their ancestry. This rite can be performed either by itself, or on the third night of Samhain, following the End of Harvest celebration and the Honoring of the Animals.
- First, decorate your altar table — you may have already gotten it set up during the End of Harvest rite or for the Ritual for Animals. Decorate your altar with family photos and heirlooms. If you have a family tree chart, place that on there as well. Add postcards, flags, and other symbols of the country your ancestors came from. If you’re lucky enough to live near where your family members are buried, make a grave rubbing and add that as well. In this case, a cluttered altar is perfectly acceptable — after all, each of us is a blend of many different people and cultures.
- Have a meal standing by to eat with the ritual. Include lots of dark bread, apples, fall vegetables, and a jug of cider or wine. Set your dinner table, with a place for each family member, and one extra plate for the ancestors. You may want to bake some Soul Cakes.
If your family has household guardians, include statues or masks of them on your altar. Finally, if a relative has died this year, place a candle for them on the altar. Light candles for other relatives, and as you do so, say the person’s name aloud. It’s a good idea to use tealights for this, particularly if you have a lot of relatives to honor.
- Once all the candles have been lit, the entire family should circle the altar. The oldest adult present leads the ritual. Say:
This is the night when the gateway between our world and the spirit world is thinnest. Tonight is a night to call out those who came before us. Tonight we honor our ancestors. Spirits of our ancestors, we call to you, and we welcome you to join us for this night. We know you watch over us always, protecting us and guiding us, and tonight we thank you. We invite you to join us and share our meal.
- The oldest family member then serves everyone else a helping of whatever dishes have been prepared, except for the wine or cider. A serving of each food goes on the ancestors’ plate before the other family members recieve it. During the meal, share stories of ancestors who are no longer among the living — this is the time to remember Grandpa’s war stories he told you as a child, tell about when Aunt Millie used salt instead of sugar in the cake, or reminisce about summers spent at the family homestead in the mountains.
- When everyone has finished eating, clear away all the dishes, except for the ancestors’ plate. Pour the cider or wine in a cup, and pass it around the circle (it should end at the ancestor’s place). As each person recieves the cup, they recite their genealogy, like so:
I am Susan, daughter of Joyce, the daughter of Malcolm, son of Jonathan…
and so forth. Feel free to add in place names if you like, but be sure to include at least one generation that is deceased. For younger family members, you may wish to have them only recite back to their grandparents, just because otherwise they can get confused.
- Go back as many generations as you can, or (in the case of people who have done a lot of genealogy research) as many as you can remember. You may be able to trace your family back to William the Conqueror, but that doesn’t mean you have it memorized. After each person recites their ancestry, they drink from the cider cup and pass it to the next person.
- A quick note here — many people are adopted. If you are one them, you are fortunate enough to be able to choose whether you wish to honor your adoptive family, your biological family, or a combination of the two. If you don’t know the names of your birth parents or their ancestry, there’s nothing wrong with saying, “Daughter of a family unknown.” It’s entirely up to you. The spirits of your ancestors know who you are, even if you don’t know them yet.
- After the cup has made its way around the table, place it in front of the ancestors’ plate. This time, a younger person in the family takes over, saying:
This is the cup of remembrance. We remember all of you. You are dead but never forgotten, and you live on within us.
Take some time to meditate on the value of family, how fortunate we are to be able to know the connections of kin and clan, and the value of heritage. If your family has a tradition of music or folktales, share those as a way to wrap up the ritual. Otherwise, allow the candles to burn out on their own. Leave the plate and cup on the altar overnight.
- If you didn’t do a separate ritual for animals, you can add photos and candles for deceased pets to your family altar.
- If you like, you may wish to follow this ritual with a Seance.
What You Need
- Items to represent your family members
- A meal to eat
- A cup of cider or wine to drink
Signs Your Child Might Be A Witch
~Your child asks to use the broom to cleanse, I mean clean, their room. There is always a steak knife missing.
~Your smallest pan keeps disappearing and reappearing, and always smells like ashes and potpourri.
~All your candle holders are missing.
~They now enjoy going to the fabric store with you and they want thread, ribbon and cloth of every color of the rainbow.
~Their Christmas and Birthday wish lists consist of: a white or black full length bathrobe, blank journal books, window box herb gardens and a box of candles in assorted colors.
~You just figured out that every full or new moon your child asks to have 3 friends spend the night; and strangely they are very quiet all night.
~Your child now says “Merry Meet Again” every morning to you and whenever they leave they say “Merry Part”.
~Your recipe cards are disappearing and when you do find them you can’t make since of the recipe since it doesn’t require any actual cooking.
~Your child has a new ID bracelet that reads something like “RavenMoon” “StarWolf” or “SunDragon”
~Your child asks you one day for a compass, four pails of paint; blue, green, red, and yellow, so that they can paint their room correctly.
~They insist that their first car be the color brown and have a license plate that says BROOM.
~Their pillows are now filled with all your potpourri.
~You ask your child to rake up the autumn leaves in the yard, and they come back with a small stick and a large stick; which you later find to have shiny objects on them and unidentifiable etchings.
~Once a jar gets emptied in your house it ends up in your child’s room filled with various objects like pins, needles, hair, honey, paper, and soil.
Are You Energy-Sensitive? Quiz
If you have ever found yourself getting irritated or depressed for no apparent reason after spending time with certain people, the answer may be simple: you may be a sensitive, absorbing or reacting to energy from these individuals that isn’t healthy for you.
Answer these questions to see if this could be true for you, and then find out what to do about it so you don’t continue to feel depleted or irritable when you’re around these people.
1. Do you frequently feel angry, nervous, tense, or irritable around certain people?
2. Do you often feel sad, low-energy, drained, or lethargic when you are around some individuals?
3. Do you ever find yourself wanting to lie or cover-up around specific people?
4. Do you frequently find yourself folding your arms over your midsection when you are with certain people in your life?
5. Do you often feel ill-at-ease or uncomfortable with some individuals?
6. Does the mere sight of some people cause you to feel instantly defensive or angry?
7. Do you find yourself inwardly groaning when you hear a specific person’s voice on the phone?
The more questions you answered “yes” to, the more sensitive you probably are.
Most of us are unconsciously influenced by others’ energies. These energies are what they are, neither good nor bad–but some may be beneficial, and some detrimental to us. The extent to which you are affected is a sign of your sensitivity. Becoming aware of the energy-effects of interactions is a wonderful first step in becoming more conscious, and in undoing the negative effects of others’ energies on us.
If you think you are being adversely affected when you are in the company of certain people’s energy fields, here are some things you can do:
If you are around someone whose energy makes you feel drained:
1. Move away from the person.
2. Politely cut the interaction short.
3. Redirect the person’s attention.
If you find yourself feeling irritable around someone:
1. First, realize that you do not need to take this personally. Simply notice, “This is someone who makes me feel prickly.”
2. Ground yourself. This can be as simple as just placing your hands on the ground, or as complex as doing a brief relaxation and grounding exercise.
Today’s ‘Love Your Body Day’ is a national day of action to speak out in support of ads and images of women that are not offensive, harmful or disrespectful. According to reflexology (foot massage therapy) each part of your body corresponds to a spot on the soles of your feet, and by massaging your feet you can stimulate a healthy flow of Chi or good energy. Reflexology says that the toes are linked with many areas of the head. The heel, on the other hand, connects with the lower back, pelvis and sciatic nerve. By giving yourself a gentle foot massage (or having someone else do it for you), you’re giving your body a chance to balance and remove blockages. Gently press and rub the soles of your feet for a few minutes each day to reduce tension and improve your overall health. Love your body this way today and it will love you back for a whole bunch of tomorrows.
By Ellen Whitehurst for Astrology.com