Daily Motivator for March 5th – Think a positive thought

Think a positive thought

Think a positive thought, and you’ll take a positive action. Take a positive action, and you’ll get a valuable result

Thoughts can often seem easy, light, and inconsequential. After all, on its own a mere thought doesn’t have the power to do anything.

However, you most certainly have the power to do many things. And your thoughts are what determine and direct the actions you take.

If you continually focus your thoughts on the things you don’t want, those things will surely find their way into your life. By the same measure, focusing your thoughts on your most positive possibilities enables you to make those possibilities real.

When life brings you disappointment after disappointment, it’s easy to make all your thoughts negative ones. Yet it is just as easy, and far more empowering, to respond with positive thinking.

If you had the power to change your life for the better, would you use that power? You do indeed have that power, and it is in the thoughts you choose to think.

— Ralph Marston

The Daily Motivator

Daily OM for March 4th – Layers of Feeling

Layers of Feeling
Coping with Passive Aggression

Passive aggression is most often wielded by those who feel powerless and want to avoid their own true feelings.

Many people are taught from a young age to suppress feelings commonly regarded as negative, such as anger, resentment, fear, and sorrow. Those who cannot or will not express these emotions tend to engage in passive-aggressive behaviors that provide them with a means of redirecting their feelings. Passive aggression can take many forms: People who feel guilty saying “no” may continually break their promises because they couldn’t say no when they meant it. Others will substitute snide praise for a slur to distance themselves from the intense emotions they feel. More often than not, such behavior is a cry for help uttered by those in need of compassion and gentle guidance.

When we recognize passive-aggressive patterns in the behavior of others, we should never allow ourselves to be drawn into a struggle for power. Passive aggression is most often wielded by those who feel powerless in the face of what they perceive as negative emotions because they hope to avoid confronting their true feelings. They feel they are in control because they do not display overt emotion and often cannot understand how they have alienated their peers. If someone close to us shows signs of frustration or annoyance but claims nothing is amiss, we can point out that their tone of voice or gestures are communicating a different message and invite them to confide in us. When we feel slighted by a backhanded compliment, it is important that we calmly explain how the jibe made us feel and why. And when an individual continually breaks their promises, we can help them understand that they are free to say no if they are unwilling to be of service.

As you learn to detect passive aggression, you may be surprised to see a hint of it in yourself. Coping with the natural human tendency to veil intense emotions can be as simple as reminding yourself that expressing your true feelings is healthy. The emotions typically regarded as negative will frequently be those that inspire you to change yourself and your life for the better, whereas passive-aggressive behavior is a means of avoiding change. When you deal constructively with your feelings, you can put them behind you and move forward unencumbered by unexplored emotion.

ASTRAL PROJECTION

Astral projection (OOBE, out of the body experience)

is a popular area of occult literature; for traveling to see

other worlds and places while the physical body sleeps or is

entranced is an exciting notion. Astral projection is not

dangerous. It is as safe as sleeping. Most dreams are probably

unconscious astral projections, anyway. Although there has

been quite a bit written on the subject, astral projection

is difficult for many people. The main difficulty is the

tendency to forget dream consciousness upon awakening.

Accordingly, the successful practice of astral projection

requires work.

Modern psychology discounts the idea of actual OOBE

(that the spirit temporarily vacates the physical body).

However, the idea is very ancient. The Tibetans have an

entire system of yoga (dream yoga) based upon astral

projection. And here we have an important assumption: you are

involved in an OOBE (at least to a degree) whenever you

dream. What sets it apart from a full OOBE is your hazy

consciousness during the experience and poor recall

afterwards. Many people forget most of their dreams

completely. Learning astral projection requires a kind of

inner mental clarity and alertness.

Dreams are a door to the subconscious which can be

used for psychological and spiritual insight, and sometimes

for precognition. Dream content is influenced by external

sounds and sensations. For example, a loud external noise

(such as a train) will likely appear in your dream (if it

doesn’t wake you up!). Dreams are also influenced by events

of the previous day, by your moods, and by suggestion.

Everyone normally dreams 4 or 5 times a night (about every 2

hours). The longest dreams occur in the morning. Everyone

dreams. You are more likely to remember the details of your

dream when you first wake up. By keeping a dream diary you

will improve dream recall. Have writing equipment or a tape

recorder at your bedside for this purpose; also a light

which isn’t too bright. Suggest to yourself several times

before you go to sleep, “I will awaken with the knowledge of

a dream.” Then when you do awaken, move quietly (sometimes

just turning over drives the idea away). Remember first,

then write the dream down, and then add as many details as

possible. The next day check for objective facts and expand

if you can (by remembering ‘what happened before that’). Once

you start remembering your dreams in this way, it will

become easier to do so. (If you are unsuccessful at this,

and *really* want to remember your dreams, you could

arrange for someone to sit by your bedside all night long

with a dim light on. Then when he sees your eyes moving back

and forth — rapid eye movements, a sign you are dreaming —

he can wake you and ask for a dream report.)

Do You Like You?

Liz Dawn Donahue

Do I like myself?

Do I like myself in this relationship?

Two very similar questions, but at the same time, very different.

I remember being in relationships and looking in the mirror only to think “who is this person?” I could barely recognize my own reflection because at times my behavior was the anti-thesis of who I am and who I wanted to be. It had gotten to a point in one relationship that I could not believe who I had become. I was this woman putting up with behavior from my partner that I would go screaming into the night if any of my friends would do this in their lives.

I liked myself, but I did not like myself in this relationship. I did not like the person who I had become and most especially that I could not seem to control my reactions to his “bad” behavior.

After hours, actually months, of therapy, I realized that if I was going to come out of this even half alive and the person that I knew myself to be, that I had to figure a way out of this dysfunctional abyss. It was a matter of my mental sanity that I embarked on a vigorous journey of self introspection to understand why I was in a relationship with someone that brought out the worst in me instead of the best in me.

Was this concept an impossibility or just a cliche? Can you really be with someone who brings out the best in you or is it your responsibility to always be your best no matter who is in your life? These questions haunted me. I really felt that no matter who was in my life that I should be able to stay centered at all times and be my best. This is wonderful in theory, but not so great in reality when dealing with intimate relationships or dealing with those things that trigger us.

I have heard story after story about people sharing their disappointments about themselves because they would find their lives intertwined with someone who brought out the worst in them. Why?

Here is what I discovered, and this is just one woman’s opinion. We absolutely have to take responsibility for our own actions at all times; however, there are those intimate relationships that trigger old deep-seeded issues inside us that we might have thought we resolved years ago or even issues we never knew we had in the first place. In other words, if I am in a relationship with someone and I am acting out of character, I have to sit and ask myself, what is happening around me that is triggering me into this behavior? Then I need to reflect on what does this remind me of in my past.

More times than often, there is an emotional trigger that has nothing to do with the person in front of you, but has everything to do with past unhealed trauma. The person in front of you is just a reminder that there are areas of your life that need a little work. Having said this, it does NOT mean that you stay with a person who continuously triggers you. If you sit back and take an objective look at their behavior you will probably see that their actions are dysfunctional as well. Their behavior is a perfect match to tap you on the shoulder and not only see unhealed areas of your life, but to also recognize what your relationship red flags are for the future.

I challenge the concept that in order to grow it is good to be in relationship with a partner that challenges your issues. Thank you very much, but I can grow and learn very nicely without the drama of being thrown into all that dysfunction. It is taking a stand and being able to walk away from those relationships that trigger you, a willingness to work in it on your own, and then get into a relationship with someone who does not have the same behavior.

After many years of playing this game and being hit over the head with this lesson I finally got it. I am in a marriage with a man that brings out the best in me, not the worst and I bring out the best in him. It is not just cliche after all.

How Happy Are You? (Quiz)

Shubhra Krishan

When you have a few quiet moments, do take the time to answer the quiz below. It should give you an idea of your Happiness Quotient:

Is your home a calm, soothing place?
Do you enjoy doing what you do for a living?
Do you have at least two close friends?
Are you part of a group or club that enjoys the same activities as you do?
Do you have some goals for personal growth?
Is your relationship with your family a positive one?
Would you say you are in good health at this time of your life?
Are you satisfied with your financial situation?
Do you like what you see in the mirror?
Do you laugh often and heartily?

The more times you answer ‘Yes’, the happier you are. If the number is below five, I would invite you to read my previous post on 4 simple ways to be happy. Even the responses to that piece have elicited some wonderful ideas on the art of being simply happy!

DID YOU KNOW?

Our happiness levels swing up and down with age. Most of us start life happy, but grow a little less happy as the years roll on. Studies show that people are the least happy in their 40s. After this age, happiness levels start climbing upward again!

Smile!

Stress Is Not What You Think

Ed and Deb Shapiro

Ironically, the holiday season can be the most stressful time of the year. Imagine you are trying to squeeze some toothpaste out of a tube but you have forgotten to take the top off. What happens? Deb actually did this in one of her most unaware moments and the toothpaste soon found another way out through the bottom of the tube and got all over her. It will force a hole in the side or wherever is the weakest point.

Now imagine that the tube of toothpaste is you, under pressure and beginning to experience psychological or emotional stress. But you don’t take your lid off, as it were, by recognizing what is happening and making time to relax or deal with your inner conflicts.

So what happens to the mental or emotional stress building up inside? In her book, Your Body Speaks Your Mind, Deb shows how eventually it has to find a way out and if it can’t come out through the top, as it were, by being expressed and resolved, it will come out somewhere else, whether through your digestion, nerves, immune system, behavior, or sleep patterns. Repressed or ignored stress can manifest as depression, addiction, or anxiety; projected outwards it can become hostility, aggression, prejudice or fear.

We have built into our physiology a fight-or-flight response that enables us to respond to danger if, for instance, we are on the front line of a battle or facing a large bear. The battle may be with your teenage son and bears tend to come in a variety shapes and sizes, such as impatient and angry holiday shoppers. Seemingly unimportant events can even cause a stress reaction, as the brain is unable to tell the difference between real and imagined threats: if you focus on your concern about what might happen it plays as much havoc with your hormones and chemical balance as it does in a real situation.

Recent studies show–as if we didn’t know–that job dissatisfaction, moving house, divorce, and financial difficulties are at the top of the list of known stressors. But we all respond differently to circumstances: a divorce may be a big stressor for one but it may be a welcome relief to another. The difference lies in our response, for although we may have little or no control over the circumstances we are dealing with, we do have control over our reaction to them.

In other words, the cause of stress is not as much the external circumstances, such as having too many demands and not enough time to fill them, as it is our perception of the circumstances as being overwhelming; and our perception of our ability to cope, as when you feel stretched beyond what you perceive yourself to be capable of.

What you believe will color your every thought, word and action. As cell biologist Bruce Lipton says in his book, The Biology of Belief, “Our responses to environmental stimuli are indeed controlled by perceptions, but not all of our learned perceptions are accurate. Not all snakes are dangerous! Yes, perception “controls” biology, but… these perceptions can be true or false. Therefore, we would be more accurate to refer to these controlling perceptions as beliefs. Beliefs control biology!”

In other words, believing that it is your work, family or lifestyle that is causing you stress and that if you could only change these in some way then you would be fine, is seeing the situation from the wrong perspective. It is the belief that it is something out there that is causing the stress. And, although changing the circumstances certainly may help, invariably, no matter what you do, it is a change within your belief system and perception of yourself that will make the biggest difference.

Try It Yourself

If you find yourself feeling stressed, take 10 minutes to breathe more deeply. Most people who are tense breathe short, shallow breaths into the upper part of their chest. If you take slower breaths and deepen your breathing into your belly, the stress will dissolve.

Then find an affirmation that works for you to shift perceptions and belief patterns and to reinforce your strengths, such as: “My mind is at ease and I am capable of doing everything,” or “With every breath I am more relaxed and flowing through my day with ease.”

Doing the Best We Can

Doing the Best We Can

by Fran Hafey/Mysti

In a conversation the other day, I could hear bitterness and sadness

in the voice I was listening to.

Then I heard myself say very calmly “We all did the best we could at that time,”

and with that proceeded to share about my own experience.

When we remember the past, we have choices. We can hang on to those bitter memories

or we can let them go. It’s alright to remember and share them, even more than once.

It’s what we then choose to do with them that is important.

When I was about my oldest daughters age, she is almost 25, I lost all my childhood memories.

I only remembered the fear, the darkness, the pain, hurt and who had inflicted this on me.

It took me many years to let it all go.

Once I worked through it… I started receiving my memories back. Sometimes in dreams,

and sometimes I would just be doing something and a memory would pop in my mind.

I would share them with my family at times and I was so happy, that now,

I could remember what a great childhood I had.

I cried sometimes, when I remembered things. I let my emotions flow and released them.

I laughed, cried and shared.

I realized a wonderful thing. That the people in my life, in my past,

did the best they could with what they had. So profound and so true.

I have forgiven and I have put away things I no longer need. I remember the love

and the good times as well as the bad. They all made me who I am today.

I would not change a thing.

Now, I help others do the same.

I help them find those blocks and what is in the way of remembering the good

or the indifferent. I help them learn to let it go and grow from it.

Not everyone had a great childhood. Even the ones that tell you they had a lousy one

usually can find some good, when they look hard enough.

Helping our inner child remember and laugh again,

is worth more than gold. Much more.

I hope that you,… no I believe that you can find some of the good in your past

and remember that we all did the best we could

then, with what we had

and just look at what we can do

with what we have…now.

Sent with love and light,

Mystiblu~

About the Author: Fran Hafey (Mysti) is a Reiki II Practioner, Writer, and Spiritual Counselor.

She provides guidance and inspiration via her Website, groups, ezine’s and newsletter on the World Wide Web.

To read more of her articles visit the Author’s Website: http://Mystickblue.com

Heartwings Love Notes 501: Having a Cold

Heartwings Love Notes 501: Having a Cold

Heartwings says, “If you have a cold you’d better not keep it too long.”

Commonly we refer to almost any illness or condition as something we “have.” We may not wish to keep it, yet we seem to indicate that like any possession, the cold, flu, or other sickness is ours. We even say that we have caught it, like a fish or baseball. According to the way some think, this is not a good idea. After all, if you have something, whether you want to or not, perhaps that makes it more difficult to get rid of.

The science of affirmation began around the late 1800s with a gentleman named Emile Coue¢. He taught people to stand in front of a mirror and repeat, “every day in every way I am getting better and better.” His method, known as autosuggestion, was later expanded upon and evolved into a school of psychology built around positive thinking. It became the basis for a whole way of improving one’s life through positive statements known as affirmations.

However, there is a reverse polarity to affirmations and these are negative statements, such as “I have a cold, a fever, or a problem of any sort.” If I “have” something I do not want, and I want to get rid of it, I’d best stop saying I have it. The basis of affirmation as well as that of avoiding negative statements is that the subconscious part of the mind can and will respond and help us achieve what we affirm.

When I find myself coughing and sneezing, it’s difficult to avoid saying I have a cold. I am however working hard to think of it as vanishing. This cold has bothered me for more than a week and I am eager to get rid of it. The next time I start to feel I have caught a cold, I am going to try to drop it somewhere rather than hold onto it. Perhaps instead I will stand in front of my mirror and say, loud and clear, “Every day in every way I am getting better and better.”

May you be able to release easily whatever you do not wish to keep.

Blessings and Best Regards, Tasha Halpert

For more Love Notes or to subscribe: www.heartwingslovenotes.com.

12 Inexpensive Ways to Relieve Stress

Delia Quigley

“Stress: 1. a force that strains or deforms 2. mental or physical tension“ Websters New World Dictionary

Despite our best intentions for creating a lifestyle free of stress, we have only succeeded in creating more stress than our mind and bodies can really handle. The good news is there are practical ways to reduce stress in your life without having to spend a whole lot of money. It is important to note that there are both environmental and emotional factors that create stress in your home, workplace and outdoors in a city. You might feel the stress of a difficult job, or the emotional strain of a negative relationship, but toxic chemicals in your cleaning supplies or exposure to electro-magnetic frequency’s from your computer and T.V. may not be so easy to detect. They can, however, cause stress to your immune system and eventually will need to be removed or reduced.

For now let’s take a look at some ideas for dealing with stress on a daily basis. By taking one-step-at-a-time you can at least begin to manage the stress that comes from living in a time that demands our complete attention and much of our precious energy. The goal here is to open up space in your day to recharge and reinvigorate your body-mind for the next go-round of activity.

1. Medical research has shown that lack of sleep can stress the body more than anything else you do. Make sure to get 7-9 hours of sleep each night for best effect.

2. To make sure your body can sleep at night, reduce the amount of stimulating foods, such as sugar, caffeine and alcohol, that you ingest each day. For some people even one cup of java can cause insomnia. Stay away from your computer or smart phone before bedtime as it can interfere with your ability to sleep.

3. Take time each day to stop and do nothing. You can do this at your desk with a few stretches and then sitting, lean your head back on the chair and close your eyes for 2-3 minutes. Or, lay down on the sofa or bed and take a 5-10 minute nap. This is a very easy and effective way to refresh and revive the whole body system.

4. Step away from what you are doing and make a cup of herbal tea, then sit and sip it slowly.

5. Take a 15-30 minute walk outside in nature and focus on your breathing. Stand and take deep breaths of fresh air and long exhales to expel the stale indoor air from your lungs.

6. Take 10 minutes each day to sit in meditation. This can be done anywhere you find yourself. Sit with your back upright, hands resting on your thighs, close your eyes and let your mind quiet and empty. Bring your attention to your breath and let the thoughts pass like clouds moving across a blue sky. This can be a powerful moment for your body-mind to relax and rejuvenate.

7. Plan 1-2 days a week when you will not turn on the computer or watch television. Use the time to hike in nature, read a good book, volunteer to help a friend, clean out your kitchen cabinets and cook yourself a healthy meal.

8. Go on a spending diet and stay away from shopping malls and other crowded venues. Instead, take time to be silent and alone with yourself. This is a wonderful time to think about your life, to set goals, to plan and notice what is and what is not working. This awareness allows you to make changes before situations can get out of hand.

9. Put aside 10-15 dollars a week and indulge your senses with a monthly body massage. This can go a long way towards releasing stress, worry and anxiety in a short period of time.

10. Take a restorative yoga class at your local yoga studio. This special form of yoga utilizes nurturing physical postures to relax, rejuvenate and alleviate the effects of chronic stress in your daily life. Once you know the routine you can practice at home in your personal space.

11. Light some candles in your bathroom, put on some soft music and take a warm bath. Add some muscle relaxing bath salts and a few drops of Lavender oil to calm and relax your mind.

12. As all your worries and fears rise up to engulf you, just remember what is happening in the given moment. Anxiety comes from creating a negative future in your mind, one that has not happened and will probably not happen. It is all a product of your imagination and if you can stay focused on what is happening in the present you can reduce the stress this way of thinking can cause.

Today’s I Ching Hexagram for December 20 is 7:Discipline

7: Discipline

Hexagram 7

General Meaning: The most successful general is not the one that triumphs in battle, but the one who is able, through strength of a resolute discipline and the personal power that results from that, to achieve victory without spilling blood. This is why for the effective leadership of any organization the key virtues are clarity, decisiveness and conscientiousness. The most effective team or partnership marches with a single purpose — a dedication to a common goal that is held dear by all. Otherwise, even with an excess of external discipline, unpopular wars are seldom winnable.

Let power be held in check by the acceptance of a common discipline, and submission to a higher authority. Look to the common good. When life is in balance, evil impulses are checked by human decency; parents die before their children; leaders lead and followers follow. If you hold or aspire to a position of leadership, remember that the true leader speaks to and captures the hearts of the people and articulates a clear, simple vision that unites them as a team.

In the realm of government, the relationship between the army and state is critical. Only when the state is economically prosperous can the army be strong. Only when the army is disciplined can the state be protected from disruptive outside forces. For this balance to be preserved, government must be steady, and mild toward its own people. When balancing strong complementary forces, modesty and generosity at the center can be a magnetic force that keeps relationships intact. Coordination of all elements is essential for success at this time.

Today’s I Ching Hexagram for December 19th is 33: Retreat

33: Retreat

Hexagram 33

General Meaning: All worthy goals meet resistance of some kind. When negative forces predominate, a well-timed retreat is a good way to stay on the path to ultimate success. Tibetans know this.

Strategic retreat is not to be confused with escape or surrender. Successful retreat demands quick and nimble movement — taking up a new position before you are damaged by the current situation. You are not admitting defeat by temporarily retreating, but simply increasing your options, and preserving your resources. Sometimes it is necessary to slow down, let go or move back in order to develop countermoves for the future. Timing is critical, as is how well you position yourself after realignment. Considerations of personal security are critical.

Periods of withdrawal or retreat call for cool-headedness. It is necessary to keep your wits about you. Attend to small details while allowing yourself time to contemplate the whole picture. Be creative; not all progress follows a straight line. Self-confidence is also essential; small setbacks can easily become defeats if we allow ourselves to become mired in self-doubt or self-pity.

Waves of progress are, by their nature, short-lived. Learn to attune yourself to the up-and-down cycles of life. When the wave is behind you, ride it in; when it’s not, lie low. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can ‘fix’ any situation whenever you feel like it. Some things are bigger than you are. Hold your pride in check and you will be better prepared to find creative openings

Today’s I Ching Hexagram for December 16th is 62: Attention to Detail

62: Attention to Detail

Hexagram 62

General Meaning: Ambitious undertakings are not in order now, but attention to small matters brings progress. Such is the case of a person whose resources are meager, but who, through modesty and perseverance, rises to accomplish great things.

The key to success when small potential influences the larger scene is to avoid pretentious ambitions and grandiose goals. The power of the small is served by slow and steady advancement, and succeeds through an honest awareness of its own limitations, without reservation.

Modesty stemming from recognizing your limitations is a fine quality, but it can be seen as weakness if it is not accompanied by conscientiousness. It is important to understand the demands of your situation, and not to expect success in big things right now. The wise person recognizes the nature of the time. So, know your own role, carefully attend to details and act with humility, and you can achieve your goal even with few resources.

A Curse May Truly Be Your Gift

A Curse May Truly Be Your Gift

Author: Lady Wolfwind

It is a glorious morning. I turn my face eastward to feel the warmth of the sun and the cool breeze on my face. I love this time of day. It is when the Goddess speaks the loudest to me. She helps prepare me for my day. I take a closer look at the mist that surrounds me. I can see each individual water droplet that make up the fog and the tiny rainbows created within each tiny sphere. I know that others only see the mist. The stillness is not silent. I hear the squirrels high in the trees scampering about and complaining noisily about the presence of my cats. Little Bit, my familiar, encircles my feet. The chickens are clucking and they are just now beginning to learn to crow. It brings a small laugh from within. There’s something more. Something else stirring. I need to quiet myself still more. Someone is trying to talk to me, to tell me something.

As I stand and softly gaze at the open fields that surround my house, I feel a presence. Maybe more than one. What is it they need to tell me? How will it affect my day? I’ve come to the conclusion that even if the news that they bring me is sad it is still welcome. The knowledge and understanding that they impart is still magical. I realize that not everyone can hear them; some can but don’t want to. Some want to but don’t know how. Even with the most patient teaching it takes a sharp mind to learn to feel the undercurrents of energy that flow all around you. Some students just can’t grasp it.

On this most beautiful of days I listen. Those who surround me today are friends and family who have passed to the other side. Today they share the news that there is a new member with them. An old friend whom I’ve shared so much joy. A friend who was too young to pass. A friend who had made poor choices in his life and they had cost him dearly. I stand and I listen. He is okay; he is among loved ones. It was his time to move on. I silently let a tear slide down my cheek. Even with the knowledge that he is safe I will still miss his presence here on this earthly plane. Somehow, the world seems a little lonelier.

I check my emotions today. I close off the thoughts and stifle the pain. Today is not a day I can grieve. I have responsibilities and people who rely upon me to be strong. People who trust me not to fall apart, to know when I can have the time to say my goodbyes properly. I gather my strength, lift my head and thank those who have brought me this news.

For a day and a half I carry this news with a heavy heart. I look up and I see their faces, I see them standing off in a distance smiling at me. They think I’ve forgotten. I haven’t forgotten. I simply have been too scared to say farewell. It seems that I’ve been surrounded by death all of my life. I started when I was fourteen and I stood beside my mother’s hospital bed and watched her take her last breath. It was soon followed by doctors giving me a form to sign to turn off the life support on my aging father, not knowing that while I was signing those papers one of my good friends was being killed in a motorcycle accident. For a day and a half I look around and they’re all there. Not in a crazy sort of way, but beckoning me to let them go.

For this day and a half I question why so many people I’ve known have passed. What have I done to have to learn this lesson so intimately? For years I didn’t get it. Then I asked myself, “What do all of these people have in common?” My parents aside, the answer struck me like a ton of bricks. I have learned this lesson because I have been doing what my Goddess has asked me to do. To befriend the less fortunate. To stand up for the underdog. To speak to those people who have lost faith in their selves. My gift, it seems, has been to try to save these people from their own thoughts of despair. When you look into their eyes you can see it. When you’re in their presence you can feel it coming in waves. Some of them are not even aware of why they do the things they do or why they make such poor choices. This is not a gift I would’ve chosen. I need to break the thought process that this is a curse as I had once thought in my younger mind.

Even in my teen-age years I befriended the ones who were always being picked on for being different. I became their advocate. I didn’t have the wisdom and insight that I have now. I didn’t know that with kind, guiding words I could change their view of themselves. Sometimes all you need to do is say, “You are so beautiful and worthwhile. The world is yours for the taking if you will only believe this.” I now know this power, this magic, if you will. The problem now is that I am no longer dealing with a young mind. I now deal with adults whose thought processes have dragged them to depths that will require a choice so radical that most cannot do it. It’s sad that so many are afraid of change. It’s sad that so many are afraid of what others will think and say. Somewhere, somehow, you must make them believe that this is their life to live and it doesn’t matter what others think or say. Just live your life to the fullest.

So amid all the pondering it is no wonder I have lost so many, even if not in death. The magic I create is sometimes heartbreaking when I have to watch a person I have given 110% of all of my energy to turn their back and walk away. It hurts deeply when after all of the work they still can’t even grasp the tiniest ray of hope within themselves. I have to battle old wounds carefully placed by mothers and fathers, neglect and labels repeated over and over until the person has become what they are told they are. I deal with people who are alcoholics and drug addicts, the unwanted, the unloved, the ones who can’t afford to feed themselves and their children. I used to think it was because they were lazy, now I understand that most of them carry scars that are too painful to heal. It is how they deal with life.

So, yes, I’ve lost many. I’ve lost many to suicide and car accidents involving drugs and alcohol. I’ve lost a few to heart attacks, like my most recent friend. He had been a former heroin addict who had been clean for years.

Don’t get me wrong. I learn so much from these people. I am not their savior. I am their friend. I don’t judge them or belittle them. I don’t have them to my house for dinner because I feel sorry for them. I genuinely like these people and I grow to love them. Some are just misguided kids left to find their own way. It’s always been a two way street.

Many people turn away from these people. They consider them losers or obstacles set in their path to success. It’s hard to befriend someone that is alone. People are afraid that they will steal from them or take something even if it is a piece of their heart. Most people think that these people made their bed so they must sleep in it. We have become so uncaring as a society.

So a day and a half later, I again stand in the morning’s rays and feel those around me. They know what I am about to do. They are here to thank me for being their friend. They put their hands upon me and let me feel the love they feel for me for believing in them so deeply when no one else would. I look at them all and today it is okay to grieve. Today I will face my fears and let them go. It’s well past time. Yes, the world will be a lonelier place without them, most people will never know because they could never see the beauty in each and every one of them. I know and that’s okay as I let the warm tears stream down my face. As I grow older I realize that this is indeed a gift, even when it hurts. To stand here and feel them surround me, to feel their love and the soul deep thanks is more than I need.

Today, I will take pause. Today, I will honor these people. They too were put here for a purpose, to learn and to touch our lives. I say my goodbye to each of them and allow myself to cry. The silence becomes still once again and I know that they have moved on. Little Bit has lain down beside me, quieted, although he eyes me carefully. I know that he has felt them to. I stoke his fur and he comforts me. Even through the pain I ask myself, “How is it that I was chosen to be so blessed?”

Life Lessons – How To Live Your Life Without Regrets

Nature Comments & Graphics

How to Live Your Life Without Regrets

By Phylameana lila Desy

Everyone has made poor choices or done something in their past that could possibly be labeled as “regrettable.” But, think about it. The fact that you are now able to look back and realize that a mistake or mis-step occurred means you have learned a valuable lesson. Some of my choices may have landed me in unpleasant circumstances, but experiencing these things certainly built my current character. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for those character-building situations. Mistakes are stepping stones to an evolving life. No need for you to sink into regret or despair — keep your chin up.

Difficulty: Average

Time Required: now and forever

Here’s How:

Acknowledge a mistake has been made – It is easy to play the blame game, pointing fingers at someone else or circumstances as to why you have stumbled or why your life is difficult. Taking personal ownership that your past actions resulted in bringing about your current reality is the first step to moving past regrets and moving toward a brighter future.
Make amends – If your past actions or words have harmed another person an apology may be in order. Or not, apologies can be tricky. Judge for yourself if an apology will help matters or only drudge up old wounds better left alone. But, definitely forgive yourself! Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. Continually berating yourself for past actions is self-defeating. Would you kick a dog while it was laying down? Of course not. Please don’t do this to yourself. Righting a wrong is not always feasible. If you feel badly about a past action you’ve taken that cannot be righted, forgive yourself, and let it go.
Do-overs – Sometimes feelings of regret arise not from our past actions, but from our non-actions. Have you ever regretted not taking a vacation, staying stuck in a dead-end job, not attending college… or whatever? It may be too late to reverse those decisions, but you still have options. Some colleges offer free classes for seniors. You might not have the time, money, or physical endurance to travel, but you can rent movies or attend travelog showings about the regions you wish to learn more about. New opportunities are available around every corner if you just open your heart and follow your dreams.
Be grateful – The most valuable lessons learned in life often come from the mistakes we make. It may take a walk down a dark alley to see clearly. Embrace your follies, feel gratitude for getting past the worst episodes and eventually finding your way along a less-cluttered path.
Be careful not to repeat the same mistake – A skinned-knee teaches a small child not to run so fast. Slow-down. If you are repeatedly faced with similar difficulties over and over again, this is a sure bet that you have not learned the lessons these situations are trying to teach. Opportunity will surface only after you take responsibility for faulty actions taken and change your current and future behaviors accordingly.
Be watchful of future knee-jerk reactions – This is probably the toughest step, not reacting negatively to situations or the people who tend to push your buttons. We don’t always have control over the things life tosses in front of us, but we do control our reactions. Stay calm. Introduce stress-management into your daily life. Meditation helps clear and focus the mind. Therapeutic play will help balance work-related stresses.
Looking deeper inside – Re-evaluate the direction your life is taking. Have you accepted that your past mistakes are just that — in the past? Focus on today. Become aware of your future goals and desires. Setting clear intentions will help clear the path so that your life progresses with a freer heart and increased happiness. The best is yet to come! Believe it.

Tips:

Remember, nobody is perfect. Including yourself!
Forgiveness is golden.
Live for today. Yesterday was then.

~Magickal Graphics~

Your Daily Number for November 25th: 4

You’re capable, realistic, and especially good at planning today. An important opportunity may present itself; however, it’s best to exercise skepticism. Review all facts attached to an offer or proposal. It’s quite possible that someone may be exaggerating or lying. If this is indeed the case, avoid emotional confrontations.

Fast Facts

About the Number 4

Theme: Form, Work, Order, Practicality, Discipline

Astro Association: Aries

Tarot Association: Emperor

Healing Lesson of the Day – Criticism Bites!

Criticism Bites!

Healing Lesson of the Day – November 23

By Phylameana lila Desy

Criticism has its place, but it is important to know when criticism is constructive and when it is hurtful.

Words of wisdom I learned from my mother: If you can’t say something nice… SHUT UP! Okay, so those were not the exact words my mom used. I’m sure her instructive admonition for me was much kinder and friendlier, perhaps more like: If you can’t say something nice, please don’t say anything at all.

Sadly, all too often it is easier to point out a person’s flaws than it is to give that person a compliment. Criticism is sometimes the result of a self-esteem deficiency. Subconsciously, a person often might feel that criticizing someone else can boost his or her own feelings of superiority, but this is patently false, as I will explain.

Does it Hurt to Say Something Nice?

When someone says to you “Would it hurt for you to say something nice?” you might honestly be able to answer “Yes, as a matter of fact, it sort of does.” This may be true because, oftentimes, people who are the most critical of others are the same people who, on the flip side, are probably the ones who are the most uncomfortable when given compliments.

Oddly enough, some people respond more positively when a criticism is directed at them than when they are given a compliment. How people who are challenged with low self esteem respond to compliments and criticisms can be a possible clue as to why criticism is so rampant in today’s society.

How Do You Respond to Being Complimented?

Do you accept compliments graciously or do you promptly reject them? Or perhaps shrug compliments off as if they are unimportant?

Examples:

Compliment 1:“What a pretty dress you are wearing.”

Denial response:“What, this old thing?”
Accepting response: “Thank you! I’m glad you noticed, it is one of my favorite outfits.”

Compliment 2:“You did a great job on that project.”

Denial response:“Anyone could have done as well as I did.”
Accepting response: “Thank you so much. I feel really satisfied that I was able to use my creative ideas to get the end result that I did.”

Are You More Accepting of Critical Barbs than Kind Remarks?

You might also want to think about your responses to criticisms. Are you more accepting of criticism than your are of compliments? Although we may reject criticisms outwardly, we often accept them internally. Are criticisms eating up your insides?

Not all criticisms are obvious. Sometimes there are those backhanded comments we hear that are intended to be caring, but can come across more often as an insult, such as: “You sure look tired. Are you getting enough sleep at night?” In so few words, someone just implied that you don’t look so good and has made the judgement that perhaps you aren’t taking proper care of yourself. OUCH! (And you thought you put yourself together just fine that morning and even had a perfect night’s rest. DOUBLE OUCH!!)

Be Kind to Others

Start making a conscious effort to choose your words carefully before you speak. Say kind words. When speaking to others, squelch any words that convey critical thoughts or judgments.

Offering constructive criticism to someone has its place. Only give it whenever it is requested or if it is truly required, such as when a parent is teaching a child, or an employer needs an employee to meet certain job requirements. Remember: Unasked for advice is really a form of criticism, so be careful when you offer advice.

In most circumstances, criticism is regarded as a “put down” that hurts both the criticizer as well as the target of the criticism. You don’t want to be on either end of those hurtful words.

Say Something Nice About Yourself in Response to Compliments and Criticisms

Notice what your normal responses are to the criticisms and compliments when given. Change any negative responses into positive responses. Very soon you will begin feeling happier and become prouder of the person you are!

As soon as you have learned to like yourself, you will become less critical of others. And when you feel good about yourself, it will become second nature for you to “say something nice” to others, as my mom always tried to teach me.

Have a great day! Accept others as they are with less criticism and extend more praise whenever you can.

Daily OM for November 15th – Your Comfort Zone

Your Comfort Zone
Create a Soft Place to Land

Create a soft place to land in your home a refuge from the stress of the day.

Our day-to-day demands can quickly take their toll on our well-being if we are not vigilant about caring for ourselves as best we can. One way we can ensure that we have an opportunity to relax and recuperate each day is to create a soft place to land when we arrive home. This landing pad, whether it is an entire room or merely a small corner of a larger area, can provide us with a safe and comforting refuge in which we can decompress and recover from the day’s stresses. There, we are enveloped in feelings of security that transcend other issues that may be unfolding in our homes. Our landing pads also act as way stations that enable us to shift our attention away from our outer-world concerns and back to our inner-world needs.

To create a soft place to land in your home, begin by scouting potential locations. Or perhaps your entire home is your landing pad in which case you may only need to declutter. Your habits can often provide you with insight into the perfect spot, as there may be an area of your home you gravitate to naturally when you are in need of comfort. Any space in which you find it easy to let go of stress and anxiety can become your landing pad. A basement or attic, spare room, or unused storage area, furnished with items that soothe you, can give you the privacy you need to unwind. If you appreciate the elements, you may find that spending time in a section of your garden or outdoor patio helps you release the day’s tensions. Preparing these spaces can be as easy as replacing clutter with a small selection of beautiful objects that put you in a relaxed frame of mind. Remember to consider noise and activity levels while choosing the site of your landing pad. If you know that ordinary human commotion will distract you from your purpose, look for a secluded spot.

The soft place to land that you create should inspire within you the mantra, “I can breath here. I can relax here. I know I am safe here.” When you return to your home after braving worldly rigors, you will feel a subtle yet tranquil shift occur inside of you as you settle in to this most personal of retreats and feel centered once again.

How and Why to Use Positive Affirmations as a Stress Management Tool

Positive Affirmations Can Be Fun!

By Elizabeth Scott, M.S.

Positive affirmations are a great tool to reprogram your unconscious mind from negative thinking to positive. The idea is to take positive statements of what you would like to see manifested, and repeat them enough so that they’re part of your way of thinking and seeing the world; this operates in the same way that negative self-talk does, but in a way that benefits you. To come up with your own positive affirmations, use the following guidelines:

Look At Your Intentions:Think about what you are trying to create in your life. This means, look at the end product, and the behaviors, attitudes and traits you would like to see yourself develop in order to get there. Would you like to feel more peace? Would you like to practice more healthy lifestyle habits? Would you like to be a more supportive friend? You might want to write in a journal and brainstorm to figure out what’s important to you and get to the heart of what you want to create in your life. (A good starting point is to imagine your ideal life, pretend a fairy has given you three wishes, or try to visualize what you were put on Earth to be.)
Create Statements: Once you get an idea of what you’re aiming for, try to put that idea into a few simple statements that reflect the reality of what you want to create. Phrase the statements as if they are already true, not that you would like them to be true. For example, the affirmation, “I am feeling more peaceful each day,” would be better than, “I want to feel more peaceful.”This is because you are programming your subconscious mind to believe the statements, and that helps manifest them into reality. You’re not trying to wantsomething, you’re trying to make it so.
Be Sure They’re Positive: When making positive affirmations, be sure they’re positive! This means saying what you want to see and experience, not what you don’t wantto see and experience. For example, instead of saying, “I don’t want to feel stress,” or even, “I’ve stopped feeling stress,” use, “I’m feeling peace”. Sometimes your mind doesn’t register the negative, and it just hears the concept, “stress”, which is what you’re trying to avoid.
Make Them Realistic: Your subconscious mind can benefit from positive affirmations that stretch and expand your perspective, but if you push things too far, your ‘inner judge’ steps in and negates the affirmations. Be sure that you’re making your affirmations realistic, but hopeful as well, and positive affirmations will work foryou. For example, the affirmation of, ‘Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and stronger, etc.’ might feel like too much of a stretch, and your subconscious mind might ‘beg to differ’. However, ‘I am learning from my mistakes,’ or ‘I am grateful for all that I have in my life,’ might feel more ‘real’ to your subconscious mind. Experiment, and see what feels right to you.
Use Mine: If you’d like some ideas for affirmations designed to reduce stress in your life by increasing peaceful thoughts, feelings of safety, and fostering a stronger sense of self-efficacy, you can check out my Stress Management Affirmations, or you can discover them the fun way by playing Affirmation Hangman. (If you’re going to play the game, don’t look at the list until afterward, or guessing the affirmations in the game will be too easy!)

Once you’ve found your affirmations, here are some fun ways to introduce positive affirmations into your life:

Repetition:Probably the most popular way to harness the power of affirmations is to simply repeat them to yourself on a regular basis. Repeating them mentally several times in the morning or evening can be effective; repeating them aloud is even more effective because you hear them more clearly that way.
Do-It-Yourself Recording:You can make a recording of yourself repeating positive affirmations and play it as you drive, get reading in the morning, or do other activities. Talk in a calm voice, maybe play your favorite soothing music in the background, and you have a recording tailor-made especially for your needs!
On Post-Its:A fun way to use affirmations is to put them on post-its that you place around your house (on the fridge, on the bathroom mirror, and other places you’ll likely see them) to give yourself positive messages throughout the day. This technique can be effective on its own, or can be used with other affirmation techniques as a reinforcer.
Self-Hypnosis: To really increase the effectiveness of affirmations, you can use them with self-hypnosis. This is a way to really cement them into your subconscious thinking much more quickly than repeating them in your normal conscious state. (Here’s more information on the benefits of self-hypnosis and how to use self-hypnosis for stress management.

Your Daily Number for November 9th: 8

You’ve got a fighter’s spirit today, and issues regarding management, organization and business take up most of your brainpower. You’re truly a force to be reckoned with, so use this time of positive energy to further your agenda. Loved ones may complain about a lack of attention while you’re focused on work issues, so be sure to acknowledge those you love with a little extra TLC.

Fast Facts

About the Number 8

Theme: Power, Responsibility, Good Judgment, Financial Rewards

Astro Association: Leo

Tarot Association: Strength

Your Daily Horoscopes for Wednesday, October 12th

Today’s self-directed Aries Moon provokes us to initiate action, but mischievous Mercury’s fluid trine to otherworldly Neptune distracts us with dreamy thoughts. Even the simplest and most straightforward plan feels like a chore. Additionally, the Moon’s opposition to Mercury means we can argue about something that’s ultimately not very important. Thankfully, the Moon’s shift into practical Taurus at 9:34 pm EDT brings us back down to earth.

Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You may convince yourself that everything is fine in a relationship today. Although you probably realize complicated issues need resolution, you prefer to avoid the facts so you don’t have to handle the current situation. It’s a gift to see potential in others that’s not yet manifested, but it’s not a good idea to substitute your dreams for the truth. Pay attention to what’s right in front of your nose before it’s too late.

Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Intense emotions are springing forth from your subconscious today, but they might make you so uncomfortable that you choose to bury them. You want less complexity in your life, but your desires can be rather complicated now. Even if you believe that you are clearly expressing your passion, your intentions still may be misunderstood. Don’t assume that someone else knows what you need. Be patient and take the time to confirm that your message has been accurately received.

Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Today is perfect for expressing your heart in an imaginative manner, but it might not be as good for getting a detailed message across as Mercury’s trine to illusory Neptune muddles your communication. Your daydreams can be sweet as long as you don’t think that your current thoughts are practical. Wait until mental clarity returns tomorrow before attempting to say something that has lasting significance.

Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You might wish that you could stay home and lose yourself in creative projects today, but the Moon in your 10th House of Public Responsibility is not very forgiving. Nevertheless, you’re likely to spend time daydreaming about everything else you would rather be doing now. Unfortunately, fun and games may need to be postponed for a few days. Rather than fretting about what you cannot do, be thankful for what you can actually accomplish if you put your mind to it.

Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

You are lost in an idyllic dream about bringing a fantasy into reality as nebulous Neptune in your 7th House of Partners harmonizes with cerebral Mercury. However, once you open your eyes, your daily life may be overflowing with pressing responsibilities. Although you’re tempted to linger in your imagination, it would be unwise to avoid the current situation. Bringing your attention back to reality can make a positive difference when you need it most.

Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

It’s hard to let go of your preconceived notions about what your day will bring, but it’s crucial to move beyond your fantasies and finish your chores. Reality is elusive now because your ruling planet Mercury is working under the influence of dreamy Neptune. Let the most important decisions slide until tomorrow. Once the fog clears and your clarity returns, you will be able to choose more wisely.

Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

On this last day of thoughtful Mercury in Libra, you are carefully weighing and balancing your choices. You realize that it’s important to finish up old business today, but you would rather enjoy yourself as Mercury activates dreamy Neptune in your 5th House of Fun and Games. The conflict between work and play might be aggravating, so seek out activities that calm you down. You can always catch up on your work tomorrow when you have a fresh perspective.

More for Libra: Weekly Love | Monthly Forecast | About Libra

Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You may feel trapped in a rut and are tempted to take a risk just to stir things up today. Unfortunately, changing your routine without a solid strategy could ultimately be more upsetting than exciting. Use your imagination to picture the ideal outcome and then create a plan to achieve your goals. Don’t try to do it all in one day; you’ll have a better chance tomorrow to fill in all the details.

Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You are focused on fulfilling your obligations today, but could be lured off course by your friends or co-workers. Their big ideas sound enticing to you, but grandiose plans are not likely grounded in reality. Don’t believe everything you’re told now; if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Nevertheless, it won’t hurt to dream as long as you wait a couple of days before starting something new.

Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You normally don’t like feeling disoriented, and today’s ethereal Mercury-Neptune trine could prompt you to waste too much time trying to re-establish your footing. Unfortunately, stability is elusive now, but the uncertainty could be beneficial if you allow yourself to question your assumptions about your career goals. There’s no need to make any life-changing decision yet; answers will appear as early as tomorrow.

Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Your dreams feel close enough to touch with idealistic Neptune in your sign harmonizing with trickster Mercury in your 9th House of Future Vision. But your ideas only seem sound until you actually try to make them tangible. Although it’s wise to listen to your intuition, it’s also crucial to rely on facts, not fantasies. Give yourself permission to meander through your imagination without any pressure. Floating in the symbolic realms today leads to more rational planning tomorrow.

Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You don’t have much of a chance to be very logical today as your key planet Neptune lures you into Fantasyland. Common sense isn’t your strong suit now, but you can play this to your advantage if you don’t try to force any practical decisions. Even if you must perform your regular job duties, there’s still time to drift off and contemplate the spiritual mysteries after your work is done.

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