Tag: Person

WOTC Extra(a) – Your Self-Image As A Witch

dragons:my red angel

Your Self-Image As A Witch

 

Ironically, your self-image probably isn’t something you created yourself. It’s a patchwork affair made up of bits and pieces you’ve collected from lots of other people: family members, teachers, religious leaders, friends, your culture, and the media. Like donning clothing that’s in style, rather than in your style, the self-image you wear might be uncomfortable or inappropriate. Maybe you even fashioned your self-image without questioning whether or not the “garment” was right for you.

Tailoring your self-image according to someone else’s ideas usually results in unhappiness or frustration. If you see yourself in this picture, perhaps it’s time to take a closer look at the person you think you are, the person you’d like to be, and where the ideas you hold about yourself originated.

From what you know about magick, your thoughts about yourself and what you deserve will produce conditions that fit with your ideas. Your life is your mirror. What you see is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. If you aren’t happy with your situation, you can change it by changing your perceptions of yourself.

Remember, nobody else gets to decide whether you’re worthy. Only you do. Nor can anyone else limit your personal power without your consent — and that’s pretty sweet.

 

 

The Modern Guide to Witchcraft: Your Complete Guide to Witches, Covens, and Spells

Skye Alexander

 

Daily OM for September 11 – Discovering True Selves

Discovering True Selves

Soul Seeing

by Madisyn Taylor

The soul is the purest expression of an individual and is not bound by physical forms or fleeting emotions.

When we want to see deeply into the heart and mind of another person, soul seeing, also called soul gazing, allows us to see their soul. The soul is the purest expression of an individual and is not bound by physical forms or fleeting emotions. Through a simple art that involves lo

oking deeply into a partner’s eyes, soul seeing can show you a person’s inner beauty that you might otherwise miss. It is possible for someone who appears cold to have a warm, giving, nurturing soul or someone of average appearance to have a beautiful soul. Soul seeing is a way of looking past shapes, sizes, attitudes, and behavior to see the real individual that lies beneath the surface. It allows you to see the true essence of another person, the radiance of their being, and their spirit within.

Soul seeing is accomplished by sitting face to face with another person. It is helpful to first state your intention before you begin. As you stare softly into each other’s eyes without stopping to look away, each of your souls is revealed to the other. Try not to look for anything in particular or seek traits you’re hoping to find. Simply let the other person’s soul reveal itself to you. After twenty minutes have passed, stay where you are and share a period of silent reflection with your partner for two minutes. You may have suddenly seen your partner’s inner nature as clearly as a bright day, or you may need to meditate on your experience before you feel comfortable with your impressions. Either way, soul seeing can be a wonderfully intimate and shared experience.

So little of who each of us is can be captured by our appearance or personality. The thoughts, fears, desires, and longings that are part of what makes us whole are not always written across our faces. Often, the most surprising thing you may learn while soul seeing is that while you and the other person may appear on the surface to be quite different, you actually share many of the same inner qualities. And then there is the unique beauty that resides within that is longing to be revealed to another who is willing to see. Soul seeing can help you experience the people in your life as they truly are, beyond any mental barriers or physical limitations.

Daily OM for September 21 – Opening the Channels of Communication

Opening the Channels of Communication

Dealing with Difficult People

by Madisyn Taylor

When dealing with a difficult person, try not to be judgmental or defensive in your conversation with them.

We encounter a wide variety of people throughout our lives. Many of them touch us in some positive way. Occasionally, however, we encounter those individuals who, for whatever reason, can be difficult to deal with. Perhaps this person is a colleague or close friend that you feel is deliberately being obtuse, inviting in trouble, or doing foolish things that you find annoying. Sometimes, it may be possible to appease or avoid those people short term. Dealing with them in the long term, however, can be exhausting. The behavior of difficult people can even make you feel like losing your temper, but keep your cool. Staying calm is the first step, especially when you are ready to confront them.

Avoiding a difficult person can improve impossible and not in your best interest, especially if you live or work together. Likewise, attempts to steer clear of them can become a source of stress and anxiety when they are a part of your social circle. When this is the case, it is best to kindly address the problem. Try not to let their actions or mood affect you. You also may want to try expressing your feelings directly. Tell to the person how their actions make you feel and encourage them toward a more positive course of action. Speak assertively, but respectfully, and don’t portray yourself as a victim. Another approach for dealing with a difficult individual is to gain a deeper understanding of who that person is. Ask them why they do or say certain things. If you disagree with their motives, question them further so you can try and discover the root of their behaviors. In doing so, you may be able to gently shift their perceptions, or at least help them understand your point of view.

You may want to think about what you want to say to a difficult person before you actually talk to them. If you can, avoid being judgmental or defensive, and try to approach the conversation objectively. If the person is open to the idea, try coming to an agreement. If approaching them fails, let it go and move on. There is no reason to let a difficult person or situation have power over your state of being. Remember that a lot can be accomplished when you take the time to listen and offer up alternative perspectives.

Daily OM for August 24 – A Chance to Contribute

A Chance to Contribute

Disarming the Know-It-All

by Madisyn Taylor

People that are know-it-alls are simply stuck in a pattern and may actually have feelings of low self worth.

Most of us have encountered a person in our lives who can accurately be referred to as a know-it-all. This person seems to know everything about anything that gets brought up and tends to dominate the conversation. They don’t take well to being questioned, and they have a hard time ever admitting that they were wrong.

Being around a know-it-all is inevitably tiring because there is no shared energy between the two of you. Rather, you become an audience member to this person’s need to be the center of attention. Attention and respect are probably the two things this person most longs for, and at some point in their lives, they learned that knowing it all was the way to get those needs met. Over time, they have become stuck in this pattern, regardless of the fact that it is no longer working. They may feel afraid of the experience of listening, being receptive, or learning something new, because it’s so unfamiliar.

On the one hand, when we see the childlike need underneath the know-it-all’s mask of confidence, we feel compassion for the person, and we may tolerate their one-sided approach to conversation out of a desire not to hurt their feelings. On the other hand, we may be feeling drained and tempted to avoid this person altogether. In the middle of these two possible ways of feeling, we may actually like this person and wish for a closer relationship. If we come from a place of kindness, we might attempt to bridge the gap that this person’s habitual way of relating creates. Simply expressing a desire to be closer may open their heart, and give you a chance to ask for what you need in the relationship—a chance to contribute.

Stop Malicious Gossip

Stop Malicious Gossip　

An easy way to stop malicious gossip is as follows:

Write the name of the person who is gossiping on a piece of white paper. Now think positive thoughts and send loving energy to them (I know it sounds crazy, but…). Place the paper in a glass of water and put it in the freezer. This will freeze the problem.

If you also wish for people to not be so nosy or involved in your business, you can add black ink to the water. This will cloak you from their prying eyes.

Remember to add positive thought. You are not trying to control the person, you are protecting yourself from harmful thoughts, and sending positive energy to deflect negative intent. Harm none!

Managing Your Persistent Fears, Anxieties, and Stresses

Managing Your Persistent Fears, Anxieties, and Stresses

  • Eden, selected from AllThingsHealing.com

by Stanley Popovich, Contributor to Psychotherapy on Allthingshealing.com

Everybody experiences anxiety and depression in some form, however some people have a difficult time managing it. Here is a brief list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their most persistent fears and everyday anxieties.

When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, the first thing you can do is divide the task into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increase your chances of success.

Sometimes we get stressed out when everything happens all at once. When this happens, a person should take a deep breath and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get her mind off of the problem. A person could get some fresh air, listen to some music, or do an activity that will give him a fresh perspective on things.

People should visualize a red stop sign in their minds when they encounter a fear-provoking thought. When the negative thought comes, people should think of a red stop sign that serves as a reminder to stop focusing on that thought and to think of something else. A person can then try to think of something positive to replace the negative thought.

Another technique that is very helpful is to have a small notebook of positive statements that makes you feel good. Whenever you come across an affirmation that makes you feel good, write it down in a small notebook that you can carry around with you in your pocket. Whenever you feel depressed or frustrated, open up your small notebook and read those statements. This will help to manage your negative thinking.

Learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. You never know when the answers you are looking for will come to your doorstep. We may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.

Take advantage of the help that is available around you. If possible, talk to a professional who can help you manage your depression and anxieties. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. By talking to a professional, a person will be helping themselves in the long run because they will become better able to deal with their problems in the future. Remember that it never hurts to ask for help.

Dealing with our persistent fears is not easy. Remember that all you can do is to do your best each day, hope for the best, and take things in stride. Patience, persistence, education, and being committed in trying to solve your problem will go a long way in fixing your problems.

We Can Change The World

We Can Change The World

Author: Lady Wolfwind

I am growing older. That’s a fact. I’m still in the Mother stage of my life, but I am fast approaching Crone. I am okay with this. More than most people, I would guess. I’ve learned that part of my contribution to society, as a Crone, is to provide wisdom and guidance to those seekers who ask. I’ve fit into this role flawlessly. Most people don’t want to hear what you have to say and if they do, they don’t listen anyway. I’m sure this is just a natural part of life. I never listened to my elders either. I look back on it now and I remember their words. How I wish I’d heeded their advice. The road would have been so much easier and I would have traveled so much farther.

I think that we’ve all learned some hard lessons on our journey. I believe that it’s what life is all about. I believe that our lessons and experiences have shaped who we are and what we believe to be true today. I wonder what experiences have led all of you to the Goddess’s path? What made us choose to be so different than mainstream society and their beliefs?

I was talking to my husband this morning. He is not Pagan, but he respects me for who I am. I had had a conversation with our daughter the previous night and there were some things that were said that bothered me. It seems that in talking to my children, they expect me to “be” a certain way. They have expectations of who I should be and how I should be living my life and even what I should believe. They are grown and out of all the people in my life, they are the ones I feel pressure from to live the way society says I should. To put on a false face to please them and the world. They don’t live near me so there is no embarrassment that Mom is a Pagan. Most time I don’t think they know what it truly means and they don’t care to ask or to listen. They are caught up in living their lives and making a living.

As children, I put aside dealing with my own life and figuring out what I wanted for my future to raise them. I didn’t let my past life experiences determine how I would make decisions regarding them. I have come to realize, now that they are older, I’ve grown into the woman I was meant to become. All of my life experiences have made me who I am. They don’t seem to understand that I had past experiences before they were born. They don’t understand that I am living my life exactly the way I want to. They don’t’ seem to understand that it’s a person’s choice to not fit in. It’s the way it has to be. They talk about their past experiences and lessons and think that if it is so with them, it must be so with me. I can never be the person they think I should be.

My husband feels that this is a lesson for them to learn. That it takes years of wisdom before you understand what I’m trying to say. I’m so afraid that even he doesn’t understand what I’m trying to say. Maybe he feels that I should live like everyone else as well. He is younger than me. He set my fears at rest when he looked me in the eyes and told me, “ There are not many people who have the courage to live as you do.” I knew then that he understands me. He said it with such a deep feeling of respect and love that it brought tears to my eyes.

I am afraid that my children will wish they’d gotten to know me after I pass to the other side. Isn’t that the way it usually is? Don’t we all stand back and wish we’d said this or that? Don’t we wish we’d listened to one more story or just sat a few moments longer? Is there a time when we have that “ah ha” moment when it all becomes crystal clear and we finally put the final piece of the puzzle in place and understand the whole picture we’ve struggled with for so long? It is a sad realization that we never took the time to get to know the ones we love the most. Why do they feel the way they do? Why do they believe what they believe? Why is Mom so quiet? Why does Aunt Mary not cry? Do we know? Do we care? Wouldn’t it be nice to figure it all out while you’re sitting with them, looking into their eyes?

This is one of those lessons that I know will have to be learned the hard way. One day they will realize that I had a life before they were born. One day they will honor my strength for overcoming the obstacles that could have stood in the way of me being a good mother to them. One day, they will understand what it means to be Pagan and they will honor me for my courage to walk a different path. One day, they will realize how much I love them. One day, I will not be here. I want them to know me and understand me before that time comes. I don’t think it will work out that way. I think we all walk around with the wounds of “what if.” I don’t think it has to be that way. I think we need to take more time with the ones we love. We get so caught up in the daily grind. We get angry at each other for things that don’t even really matter. We need to learn to listen, not just hear. We need to listen to their body language, and we need to listen to the voice inflections. We need to listen to the subtle clues that vibrate through the air currents, which tell us about the other person. We need to take a moment each day and consciously decide to learn one thing about another person. Take the time to tell the ones you love how you feel about them.

I think if we would take a few moments each morning, instead of running out the door, to make a decision to slow down for a little while each day. If we would make the choice to not keep procrastinating about visiting our aging mother who tells the same stories over and over, to sit with our child and understand how their understanding the world around them, we would become better people for it. I believe it would change not only the ones we’ve taken the time with, but also ourselves. We have to stop letting life get in the way. I think we would understand how we all became to be the people we are and how the ones around us became the people they are. I think all of us would be able to let things go easier.

I believe, as a society, we have lost the course we were supposed to be on. Somewhere, we allowed money and instant gratification to become more important than even the ones that are supposed to mean the most to us. I think, as a Pagan community, we need to be different than that. I think we need to set the standards and set them high. I think we should start living as we talk, to be the example of change in our world. One person can make a difference. I feel that our time is coming. We need to be united and to send a message to the world. We need to slow down and let the message come through loud and strong. Pagans are about love and about doing what is right. We’re about caring about each other, even others of different races and beliefs. We have to start at home.

Tonight, call someone you haven’t talked to in awhile and tell them how much you’ve missed them. Reach out to someone who’s made you angry and tell them that you have forgiven them, set up a date with your spouse, dinner with your parents, a movie with your kids. Don’t worry about how much it will cost. It will cost you much more to not do these things. Don’t worry about what others will think. It is up to us to be the example. Today is the time to take the first steps toward a new world; one we all know is possible. I don’t believe we can put it off any longer.

Do You Like You?

Do You Like You?

  • Liz Dawn Donahue

Do I like myself?

Do I like myself in this relationship?

Two very similar questions, but at the same time, very different.

I remember being in relationships and looking in the mirror only to think “who is this person?” I could barely recognize my own reflection because at times my behavior was the anti-thesis of who I am and who I wanted to be. It had gotten to a point in one relationship that I could not believe who I had become. I was this woman putting up with behavior from my partner that I would go screaming into the night if any of my friends would do this in their lives.

I liked myself, but I did not like myself in this relationship. I did not like the person who I had become and most especially that I could not seem to control my reactions to his “bad” behavior.

After hours, actually months, of therapy, I realized that if I was going to come out of this even half alive and the person that I knew myself to be, that I had to figure a way out of this dysfunctional abyss. It was a matter of my mental sanity that I embarked on a vigorous journey of self introspection to understand why I was in a relationship with someone that brought out the worst in me instead of the best in me.

 

Was this concept an impossibility or just a cliche? Can you really be with someone who brings out the best in you or is it your responsibility to always be your best no matter who is in your life? These questions haunted me. I really felt that no matter who was in my life that I should be able to stay centered at all times and be my best. This is wonderful in theory, but not so great in reality when dealing with intimate relationships or dealing with those things that trigger us.

I have heard story after story about people sharing their disappointments about themselves because they would find their lives intertwined with someone who brought out the worst in them. Why?

Here is what I discovered, and this is just one woman’s opinion. We absolutely have to take responsibility for our own actions at all times; however, there are those intimate relationships that trigger old deep-seeded issues inside us that we might have thought we resolved years ago or even issues we never knew we had in the first place. In other words, if I am in a relationship with someone and I am acting out of character, I have to sit and ask myself, what is happening around me that is triggering me into this behavior? Then I need to reflect on what does this remind me of in my past.

More times than often, there is an emotional trigger that has nothing to do with the person in front of you, but has everything to do with past unhealed trauma. The person in front of you is just a reminder that there are areas of your life that need a little work. Having said this, it does NOT mean that you stay with a person who continuously triggers you. If you sit back and take an objective look at their behavior you will probably see that their actions are dysfunctional as well. Their behavior is a perfect match to tap you on the shoulder and not only see unhealed areas of your life, but to also recognize what your relationship red flags are for the future.

I challenge the concept that in order to grow it is good to be in relationship with a partner that challenges your issues. Thank you very much, but I can grow and learn very nicely without the drama of being thrown into all that dysfunction. It is taking a stand and being able to walk away from those relationships that trigger you, a willingness to work in it on your own, and then get into a relationship with someone who does not have the same behavior.

After many years of playing this game and being hit over the head with this lesson I finally got it. I am in a marriage with a man that brings out the best in me, not the worst and I bring out the best in him. It is not just cliche after all.

BASIC SKILLS FOR HEALING WITH YOUR HANDS

BASIC SKILLS FOR HEALING WITH YOUR HANDS

Anyone can learn to heal. You have to believe in you can and learn to connect to
Source.

You are like the ‘middle man’ who brings the healing from Source to the person.

Everyone has the ability to tap into ‘source’ and bring in energies of higher
vibration that heal and balance out the person’s Chi – Qi – life-force energies.

If the person you are with has overcome the emotional problems linked to the
ailment – you will be successful. This includes self-healing.

Ailments originate from many levels of our bodies – as we have seven sheath
bodies.

The physical level is where we experience the final manifestation of the ailment
because we live in third dimension.

For example – of the person has problems with a hand – they most likely do not
want to do something related to the use of that hand – usually the hand they
write with.

If you prefer to say a prayer or use ‘white light’ protection while you work –
please do so.

Some people ask their Source in the healing to be sure that the imbalanced
energies of the person do not come into your energy fields. You are there to
balance the person.

Basic skills for healing with your hands

You may prefer to wash your hands before and after the healing.

Find a place that is quiet to do your healing.

You can use soft music or no music.

The person you are working with should be a peace and feel comfortable that you
will do not harm to them – and WILL heal – or alleviate the problems.

DAY 1 – Connecting to Source

Let’s first determine which hand works best for you.

Hold both hands out in front of you – palms up.

Focus your attention on your left hand and experience the flow of energy coming
from your hand.

Next mentally focus on your right hand and see how strong the energy from that
hand feels.

One palm should feel stronger energy flow – hotter – more tingles – whatever
your body relates to!

Now place your hands – palms facing each other – just in front of you.

Keep them about 3 inches – 7.6 cm – apart.

Move your hands slowly – back and forth.

Feel the lines of energy between your palms.

Now slowly move your palms further away from each other.

See how far out you can go before you no longer feel the ‘pull’ of the energies.

When the energies stop – move your palms back and forth slightly in opposite
directions and you should continue to feel the energies.

If you had an aura camera it would record the lines of energy in photos.

Now let’s tap in to ‘source’!

Your mental frame of reference for Source could be – a white Light – a spirit
guide – a religious figure – healing master – your higher self – yourself as a
healer in another realm – the computer in the pyramid – a sea of consciousness
connecting all things – the grids – something external from our reality –
whatever.

Now connect with that source (Plug in)!

Allow that energy to come through you.

You may feel – hot – dizzy – exhilarated – other – depends on how out of balance
you are and how your physical vehicle (body) reacts to the energies!

Get used to that energy and balance your body’s flow of energy today.

DAY 2 – Healing another person with your hands

Once you understand and feel comfortable with the fact that you can heal with
your hands – try a healing on someone who has a simply ailment.

Be sure the person is comfortable with you.

Ask them about the problem and anything they wish to share about the onset of
the problem – including emotions related to that problem. Ex: I hate my job —
suddenly I fell down while on the job and hurt my back so I do not have to work!

Now don’t play shrink as that really pisses people off and you probably are not
qualified! Just Listen.

Don’t start getting into their issues – unless they want you too.

Keep the conversation brief and tell them to seek emotional help for their pain
perhaps with a professional.

There are many people out there with chemical imbalances who are finding out
about them at adult age – when tests should have been made in childhood! So who
knew in those years?

Have the person sit or lay down in a relaxed position.

You can use with music or just find a quiet place.

Sometimes healing in Nature works well!

Assure the person that you will do nothing to hurt him / her in any way or to
aggravate the situation.

Place your hand / hands within three inches from – or on the person in question.

You can close your eyes and see your connection to Source – or you can heal with
your eyes open.

If you have a specific symbol – word – or key – you would like to use – please
use it as it makes you feel comfortable.

Pause and allow the energies to begin to flow through your body.

This could take a few minutes . . .

Relax . . .

Breathe deeply if that helps you connect . . .

Ask spirit to protect and guide you and not allow any of the person’s imbalanced
energies to affect yours —
placing you in imbalance.

Next – do a ‘sweep’ of the body!

Open your eyes.

Keep hands about three inches from the person’s body – move your hands slowly
down the body – starting with the top of the head.

You are looking for changes in temperature levels, which is an indication of
improper flow of the Chi energies. If /when you feel this change tell the
person. They may say, “Oh yes, I have been having discomfort there, also.”

At the very least you are finding a problem.

Send that person a lot of healing energy by taping into Source and seeing it
entering their body in that place.

Send healing as is comfortable for both of you.

They may tell you they feel heat – or tingles.

Many healers like to send energy through the crown chakra and feel it moving
down through the person’s body.

We all find the way that works best for us.

There is no specific time frame for the healing. Do not look at the clock. There
should be no time constraints. The amount of time you spend with the person is
up to both of you!

If you receive mental image while healing someone – be discerning in what you
say.

It is usually best to say nothing.

DAY 3 – Working with Plants

Find a small plant – preferable one that has problems.

Place it on a table in front of you.

Place your hands in front of you, palms up.

Tap in to Source.

Feel the energies start to move through your body . . .

Feel the vibrations in the palms of your hands . . .

Place your hands on either side of the plant (about 3 inches away from the
plant).

Send energy back and forth between your palms.

Imagine the flow lines of positive energy between your hands.

Allow your mind to become one with the plant – connect energetically.

If you are telekinetic – the plant – or its leaves – may move slightly!

You may receive mental images from the plant.

‘See’ the plant healthy.

You may have to repeat this daily for several days.

DAY 4 – Healing Yourself

Sit down or lie down in a peaceful place . . .

Extend you palms upward . . .

Feel your connection to Source . . .

Feel the energies moving through the palms of your hands . . .

Relax . . . Breath deeply . . . Close your eyes . . .

Mentally connect with your physical body to see where there is pain . . .

Now place your hands on that area and send the healing energies.

If the pain is in your back. . You can send healing through the front of your
body and it will reach your back . . .

If you do not have pain . . . just place your hands on your heart chakra and
send energy of light and love. It will make you glow when you meet others today!
Pay attention to their reactions to you.

If your pain is emotional . . . placing your hand on your heart chakra will work
in the same way to help alleviate the pain.

Of course you can not erase emotional pain using your hands – but it can raise
your frequency and lift some of the depression. It can bring you some balance.

What is Absolute Truth?

What is Absolute Truth?

Author: Disciple of Oghma

Absolute Truth is the purpose and quest of life. Whether people seek truth or not (and why) quietly motivate our society. Do they seek it for personal enlightenment? An enrichment of their lives? To spare their children the hardship and pain they have spent in an attempt for it?

Do they seek financial and social prosperity? Seek to use it to dominate? Or ‘guide’ others in a quiet attempt at self-flattery? Or do they flee from it? Numb them to the soul’s cry to understand the world and its place there in? Is it as Mark Twain said, “Most people’s lives are a prolonged effort not to think?”

So what is absolute truth? Does it exist or is it a creation of man to complicate his life to make him feel superior to animals by possessing something they do not?

Animals live in the now. Hunter and prey instinctively understand their place and find fulfillment in it never seeking to step aside from it. Are they wiser? All these things are aspects of truth. Some wrap Truth in myth. In an attempt to Quantify it and break its meanings down to a base level so as to convey their understanding of it to another. They wrap it in fable obscuring it. Repeated over time the story itself is emphasized and the meaning faded. Then the wrapping becomes the bone of contention. Others reject the truth because the fables veracity is disputed.

Instead of seeking the truth behind the symbols it becomes an excuse to quarrel over whose story is accurate. They each side feels superior and treats the others with snide unkindness. Does it really matter if the world sprang from one man and one woman, or if god dipped a sword in the sea and the drops that fell became land, or if slime turned to fish who grew legs?

We cannot prove beyond doubt any one fable as true for no verifiable witness remains. The truth is that the land is here and was here before us and will likely be after. It is an unnecessary argument. This only truly matters to Organizations that financially thrive off of domination and control of people by the means of defining their realities and perceptions. Such organizations do have helpful side affects but peace granted by slavery and the personal refusal to accept responsibility is at the heart of evil.

So what is truth then?

Truth is Perspective. Your thoughts, feelings, and emotions are just as your perceptions sight, sound, smell, taste, touch little more than data in the form of electrical impulses in your brain. So your perceptions shape your reality.

If one person perceives blue as green is his reality different than another’s? The other can adamantly explain the error of perception but to the color blind man the meaning has no distinction. In his reality, blue IS green. Is he wrong? Why? Is his perception of reality any more or less worthy to exist? Who has the right to demand he attribute meaning to his reality that is in contrast to his perceptions?

Some perceptions are commonplace possession. Killing is wrong. Love is right. Even then the perception of those complex meanings vary quite a bit. For order and balance to exist there must be commonly accepted norms. But on small personal matters considering others perceptions can be a learning experience and quite enlightening.

So the absolute truth? Truth is perception. So perception must be reality. Our civilization and the world we live in and our understanding of it is based off of our shared and jointly accepted perceptions of our world.

Although there are anomalies. Consider emotional ideal of Love. Everyone and no one agree. Everyone feels it but no one can describe it. Is it a need to project attractive ideals, needs, and perceptions on a person? Is it a shared need for one person to be all you think you need? A bond based on need? It is all of and none of these things to all people.

What is a name and why do we feel compelled to apply one for everything? Is a name a summation of a person’s hope and dreams? Outstanding qualities? Like or dislikes? If so why is it applied by parents to a child?

Why is the name not something the child seeks as they come into their majority? Is it a means to apply authority over or bind them to us? To name something you have quantified it? You know it and understand it and now it has no other value beyond its recorded purpose? No and yes. It is all based on personal perspective.

Then it is your choice whether to consider it or accept preconceived notions. To allow others to think for you and decide what reality envelops you. To let them decide if your life decisions should be based on the decrees of their perception of god (s) . If there is an absolute truth gospel given by the creator (s) and if you do or do not follow it your life will be affected for good or for ill.

The belief in God is not absolute truth. The perception of god and relationship with him, her, and/or them is a limitation of understanding that you place upon them. The limitations of name, story, and exhortations of lifestyle are tools to help people understand and develop their relationship with their creator and their world. They are not a tool by which to measure another’s developments and relationships.

Such things though perceived as absolute truth are not. Absolute truth is simply the understanding that people’s realities are the sum of their perceptions and the conclusions they draw from them. If their conclusions differ from yours it is your choice to review them and in effect review your own conclusions of reality. No ones opinion is more valuable than another and no one has to agree with anyone else.

In the end of such sharing is the complete reality. An interwoven conclusion of shared perception. A shared dream.

Healing Lesson of the Day – Criticism Bites!

Criticism Bites!

Healing Lesson of the Day – November 23

By Phylameana lila Desy

Criticism has its place, but it is important to know when criticism is constructive and when it is hurtful.

Words of wisdom I learned from my mother: If you can’t say something nice… SHUT UP! Okay, so those were not the exact words my mom used. I’m sure her instructive admonition for me was much kinder and friendlier, perhaps more like: If you can’t say something nice, please don’t say anything at all.

Sadly, all too often it is easier to point out a person’s flaws than it is to give that person a compliment. Criticism is sometimes the result of a self-esteem deficiency. Subconsciously, a person often might feel that criticizing someone else can boost his or her own feelings of superiority, but this is patently false, as I will explain.

Does it Hurt to Say Something Nice?

When someone says to you “Would it hurt for you to say something nice?” you might honestly be able to answer “Yes, as a matter of fact, it sort of does.” This may be true because, oftentimes, people who are the most critical of others are the same people who, on the flip side, are probably the ones who are the most uncomfortable when given compliments.

Oddly enough, some people respond more positively when a criticism is directed at them than when they are given a compliment. How people who are challenged with low self esteem respond to compliments and criticisms can be a possible clue as to why criticism is so rampant in today’s society.

How Do You Respond to Being Complimented?

Do you accept compliments graciously or do you promptly reject them? Or perhaps shrug compliments off as if they are unimportant?

Examples:

Compliment 1:“What a pretty dress you are wearing.”

  • Denial response:“What, this old thing?”
  • Accepting response: “Thank you! I’m glad you noticed, it is one of my favorite outfits.”

Compliment 2:“You did a great job on that project.”

  • Denial response:“Anyone could have done as well as I did.”
  • Accepting response: “Thank you so much. I feel really satisfied that I was able to use my creative ideas to get the end result that I did.”

Are You More Accepting of Critical Barbs than Kind Remarks?

You might also want to think about your responses to criticisms. Are you more accepting of criticism than your are of compliments? Although we may reject criticisms outwardly, we often accept them internally. Are criticisms eating up your insides?

Not all criticisms are obvious. Sometimes there are those backhanded comments we hear that are intended to be caring, but can come across more often as an insult, such as: “You sure look tired. Are you getting enough sleep at night?” In so few words, someone just implied that you don’t look so good and has made the judgement that perhaps you aren’t taking proper care of yourself. OUCH! (And you thought you put yourself together just fine that morning and even had a perfect night’s rest. DOUBLE OUCH!!)

Be Kind to Others

Start making a conscious effort to choose your words carefully before you speak. Say kind words. When speaking to others, squelch any words that convey critical thoughts or judgments.

Offering constructive criticism to someone has its place. Only give it whenever it is requested or if it is truly required, such as when a parent is teaching a child, or an employer needs an employee to meet certain job requirements. Remember: Unasked for advice is really a form of criticism, so be careful when you offer advice.

In most circumstances, criticism is regarded as a “put down” that hurts both the criticizer as well as the target of the criticism. You don’t want to be on either end of those hurtful words.

Say Something Nice About Yourself in Response to Compliments and Criticisms

Notice what your normal responses are to the criticisms and compliments when given. Change any negative responses into positive responses. Very soon you will begin feeling happier and become prouder of the person you are!

As soon as you have learned to like yourself, you will become less critical of others. And when you feel good about yourself, it will become second nature for you to “say something nice” to others, as my mom always tried to teach me.

Have a great day! Accept others as they are with less criticism and extend more praise whenever you can.

Ten Tips On “How Not To Take Things To Heart”

Ten Tips On “How Not To Take Things To Heart”

Any interaction with another person, whether it is with your boss, a customer, your father or your friend has the opportunity to lead to hurt or irritation. Some people get hurt more easily than others. They can be particularly sensitive and take things to heart. Here are some tips to help you stop taking things personally so you can leave your interactions in a happier way.

Know why you are hurting
Know why you are hurting and respond accordingly. Are you hurting because of something that has happened in your history? Are you adding your history to the present moment and therefore adding fuel to something small and making it appear bigger? For example, if your mother has looked at you in a certain way since childhood and she’s looked at you in the same way today – do you react because of the way she looked today or the way she looked at you as a child? If it’s the latter, try reacting as if this was the first time you’d ever seen the look!

Laugh and make light of it
Laughter can be a wonderful cure and reliever. If you can keep light about a potential put-down then the put-down has no power. This doesn’t mean that you leave yourself open to abuse. What it does mean is that you can more easily brush off potentially hurtful comments

Tell someone else about what was said and turn it into a funny story.
Tell someone else what has happened and tell it in a way that makes it funny. Do a caricature – exaggerate what was said – think of a funny line back … build it up until it’s funny – this will help the hurt to dissipate.

Delay your response
Many people retaliate very quickly before they’ve even had time to think through what has been said. It’s a bit like someone throwing something at you. Would you just stand there and let it hurt you or would you duck? Delaying is like ducking. Pause before you respond. Then you give yourself time to think of a good response and to check that you’re not adding hurt to what was said.

Think of the other person as being “unskilled”
Think of the other person as being “unskilled” rather than being “intimidating”, “bossy” or “aggressive”. I’ll often say to myself, “Well that was an unskilled way of saying things, I wonder what she meant?” This helps me keep calm and non-reactive, yet still available to help the person.

Separate out what is specific to you
Sometimes people respond to a general complaint as if it is personally directed at them. Don’t do this. Work out what is specifically about you and what is a general complaint that you happen to get because you were in the same place as the other person? When it’s not specific to you, remind yourself of this, e.g. you might say to yourself, “This is about the company,” or “He has obviously got a bad headache.”

Monitor for sites of tension build up and let go before they develop
Each of us will have physiological changes which occur early on in the process of becoming hurt. If you can catch your stomach tightening, your neck tightening or your hands grasping, early on, you have more chance of letting go and not hooking into the other person’s comments or emotions. Someone in one of our workshops recently discovered she started clicking her nails as a sign that she was hooking in. What are your signs?

Keep breathing
Keep breathing in and out. No, I’m not joking! Some people hear something unpleasant and catch their breath and then don’t let go of it. You’re more likely to take something personally if you aren’t breathing!

Breathe deeply
Breathe deeply so your breathing remains calm, regular and deep. Even in a meeting it’s possible to put your hand on your midriff to give yourself a physical reminder to keep your breathing deep and regular. If your breathing speeds up and becomes shallow it could be a sign that you are getting hooked in.

Don’t read criticism into something that’s not intended as criticism
Don’t read in something that wasn’t there. It’s easy to try and “read between the lines” and imagine what someone meant or what they were implying and then to react as though your interpretation is true. It may not be. Someone, for example, may have crossed his arms to stop his shoulders aching not because he didn’t like what you said! Someone may be whispering to someone else as you walk in the room and you may assume they are talking about you. In fact they may be talking about their latest exploits with their new boyfriends.

By not getting hurt and looking after yourself, you increase your chances of staying healthy and having even more caring to give to others.

— Copyright © 2009 by Rachel Green
— Submitted by Narayan Veeraraghavachar — India