A Little Humor for Your Day – White Light Coven Application c. 2013

(Not a real coven)

White Light Coven Application

The Mystical Wiccan Coven Grove of the Glittery Butterfly Unicorn of Magical Healing and Holy White Light of Divine Spiritual Spiffiness and Enchanted Smiling Faerie Goddess of the Brilliant Light of Wonderfulness is Currently accepting applications.

Hi!  On behalf of the MWCGGBUMHHWDSSESFGBLW group, I’d just like to say…Hi!  We’re a loving, accepting group of Eclectic Wiccans who worship the LIGHT!  We believe that you can’t hurt anything, because the Rede says so!  So we don’t eat animals, because animals are people TOO!  You know those meanies say that plants are alive too but they’re just huffy because they’re carnivorous and angry and not enlightened like us.  But you look like a really NEAT person!  You just might be PERFECT to join our group!

At MWCGGBUMHHWDSSESFGBLW, we believe that the God and Goddess have always watched over us, since thousands and thousands of years ago when everyone was Wiccan and bisexual and nothing bad happened and everyone lived in peace and harmony eating only fruits and berries and frolicking merrily through the summer fields.  And they watched over us when the Bad Men came and conquered our peaceful ancestors and forced them to do horrible things like worship male deities and eat meat.  And then they watched over us still when MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF WOMEN AND CATS BURNED AT THE STAKE FOR THEIR FREEEEDOM!!!!

Anyway.  Teehee!  So the God and Goddess love each other, and they love you too, even if you don’t think they love you, because they do love you, and we love you, and we love everyone, except the mean people who disagree with us.  But we love them anyway!!  Even though they’re mean!!!

But the God and Goddess know who we really are, and I’ve been Wiccan for all my lives, so I know everything firsthand, you know?  Those sillyheads and their stupid “books” and “facts,” yanno?  What the heck are THEY so riled up about? I would SO think I know better than them, ’cause I was Cleopatra in one life and then this one other time I was this Druid priestess so like I remember all those lives because I’m enlightened.

MWCGGBUMHHWDSSESFGBLW has this Book of Shadows that was passed down from my mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother.  And it was first written by my first incarnation in that one ancient place thingy in that cool swirly language.  Yea.  It’s really cool.

I’d tell you more but um you have to be one of us to know so just fill out these few questions so we can make you one of us and then we’ll tell you the secrets of the universe and give you a neat bumper sticker.  If you answer no to any of these questions, maybe we’re not right for you, but that’s okay…when you stop being a regular human and maybe get reborn as a Witch like us (’cause see we were all born with all these powers because we were chosen and that’s why we’re all together because only special Natural Witches like us can have covens) we’ll let you try again.  Because we love you.

1. Do you watch The Craft religiously?

2. Do you only eat plants?

3. Do you swear to worship ONLY the Light????

4. Isn’t George Clooney hot?

5. No really, I’m sooo totally serious, don’t you think he’s like maybe the reincarnation of Adonis or something?

6. Aren’t bunnies cute?

7. Aren’t Xtians just sooo totally sucky?

8. Can you proof it, hnu?

Thank you for applying, we hope to hear from you SOOOON!!!

Love and light and fluffy truffled lollipop ice cream cuddly snuggly wuggly huggles!!!

High Priestess Lady Moondrip Snowdancer Cloud Cover Cold Front With a 50% Chance Of Rain Treewalker Silver Daydream Sunshine Fluff

—-Sgaileach Sidhe

The Mystical Pentagram Technique for Self-Awareness

The Mystical Pentagram Technique for Self-Awareness

The Mystical Pentagram is a technique which will enhance psychic self-awareness. Practiced on a daily basis it will produce surprising individual results.

To begin, you will need a table of correspondences such as “777” by Aleister Crowley. Look up the names of the gods and goddesses and pick a name for each element(air, fire, water, earth, spirit) which when chanted ‘feels’ right for you.(if you feel relaxed, comfortable and generally positive you would know that a name would be in tune with my inner self.)

Once you have found the five names you are ready to proceed.

Visualize the five psychic centers. Memorize their positions so that you become familiar with the positions. Visualize a brilliant white light forming a circle above your head in the spirit center. Mentally draw a white light pentagram within the circle of light. This should be an invoking pentagram.

Next see a shaft of white light radiate down through your head stopping at your throat. See a circle of white light begin to form and pulsate. Mentally draw an invoking pentagram within the circle of light and vocally vibrate your chosen name for the air center. Continue to stimulate this center for at least five minutes.

Repeat this procedure for your torso(fire), stomach area(water), feet(earth).

When all of the energy centers have been stimulated, direct the light energy from the spirit center to the earth center. As you exhale see the light travel from the top of your head down through your body to the bottom of your feet. As you inhale see the energy travel from your feet up through your body up to the top of your head, the spirit center. This circulation should be persisted for at least seven minutes. See the energy cleanse and vitalize every part of your being and expand your awareness to cosmic consciousness.

Continue to repeat this technique each day you will begin to see and feel a change in your psychic awareness and a marked improvement in your health. Don’t become discouraged if you don’t achieve results immediately. This technique produces very positive effects but they are cumulative in nature.




Gift Blessing

Gift Blessing

Hold the object in your hands. Take several deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling slowly. Visualize the object glowing with white light. Connect your mind to Spirit and try to think of nothing else. Imagine the gift capturing the pur perfection of the universe. Then say:

Perfect love and perfect peace

the world will dance as one.

I dream the wish to make it real

the magick now is done.

Sear you work by drawing an equal-armed cross (+) in the air over the object. You can also empower birthday, get well, and sympathy cards in this same manner.

Bedtime Blessing

Bedtime Blessing

Close your eyes and breathe deeply three or four times until you feel relaxed and at peace. Imagine that your entire body is filled with brilliant, white light. If you like, hold your hand over your heart and say:

In the still of the night

while the world around me sleeps

may the angels smile upon me

and the Lady bring me peace.

Blessings upon (list those whom you would

like to remember in your prayers).

I know that You will care for them

and bring them what they need.

Instill in me great harmony

in thought and word and deed.

So Mote It Be.

Modern Witchs Healing Spell

Modern Witchs Healing Spell

To help speed recovery from an illness, write the sick person’s name on a white human shaped candle of the correct gender.

As you anoint it with 3 drops of myrrh or mint oil, visualize healing energy in the form of white light flowing from your hands and into the candle. Recite:

“In the divine name of the goddess,
Who breathes life into us all
I consecrate and charge this candle’
As a magickal tool for healing”

Place the candle on top of a photograph of the sick person and then light the wick.

As the candle burns down, focus on the person in the photography, willing him/her to be well again.

Then recite:

“Magick Mend, and candle burn,
Sickness End, good health return”

Continue to focus and recite until the candle burns out on it’s own.

(At this point I suggest taking the remains of the candle, wrapping it in clean white cotton and burying it outside therefore burying the sickness)

The Witches Spell for October 23 – ‘White Light Ritual’




Best time to do this spell:

In the early morning-to make the spell even stronger – do it as the sunshine’s on you!

As the sun rises in the morning – get somewhere it can shine on you (even laying in bed is okay for this one!) as you feel the warmth of the sun shining on you – see in your mind’s eye a bright light – pure and white surrounding you and outlining your body -leaving NO openings = completely surrounding you in light and warmth (you will FEEL it too) as you surround yourself in this warm and wonderful light say to yourself out loud or merely in your head

“May the white light surround me

and protect me from all harm

this is my WILL so MOTE it be.”


Then simply go about your day – you can also send white light to others by simply surrounding them with white light in your mind’s eye and substituting the person’s name for me in the incantation above. you will notice immediately a change – as you walk past – people will try to catch your eye and smile – try it – it works!  You may do this as often as you like !