Tag: Interpersonal relationship

Sagittarian Dreams – Bright possibilities emerge with the Sun in Sagittarius

Sagittarian Dreams

Bright possibilities emerge with the Sun in Sagittarius

Jeff Jawer   Jeff Jawer on the topics of sun, sagittarius, astrology

The Sun shifts from deep-feeling Scorpio to farseeing Sagittarius on November 21, marking a turn away from the reflective side of emotions and toward a dynamic expression of our aspirations.

Scorpio is a glass-half-empty zodiac sign that tends to combine concerns from the past and pressures of the present to interpret life as a struggle. Sagittarius, on the other hand, is able to ignore yesterday — and in some cases even the present — to project hope forward to a more desirable future.

The likelihood for fulfillment grows

Transforming Scorpio-style fears into Sagittarian dreams doesn’t happen automatically, though. Even if the shifting cosmic tides start flowing in an optimistic direction, we’re as likely to get lost in them as we are to find the happiness that we seek. Yet when we do Scorpio’s work of diving into our desires, assessing our resources and establishing priorities, the likelihood of achieving fulfillment grows.

This is not a process of denying doubts and fears, but one of examining them, determining which, if any, are useful, and letting go of those that have outlived their usefulness. Eliminating these negatives seems like it should be easy, yet we often are so identified with our wounds that we resist releasing them and turning our lives in a new direction. So much of who we think we are is enmeshed in a sense of limits where even the most consciously desirable freedoms are often resisted.

Do your dreams have a chance of coming true?

Refusing to look forward and dive into the future is only one way we hold back the tides of change. Another way to ensure our lives stay the same is to invest in dreams that have little likelihood of turning into reality. The potential to get lost in clouds of illusion is common with the Sun in Sagittarius, especially this week, when it squares nebulous Neptune on Sunday. This is an indirect and usually unconscious way to undermine progress, because the reward for failing to advance is getting to stay where we are.

A secret to bringing Sagittarian visions down from the clouds is to use the concentrated powers of Scorpio. The focus and determination of the latter cuts through the promises of the former, tapping into the essence of our aspirations. Scorpio is not about what we like; it’s about what we absolutely need. When a dream goes from being a vague hope to a detailed picture of desire, it finds the soil in which it can take root. The obstacles that stand in the way of achieving our goals are broken down by the intense commitment and drive that’s at the heart of Scorpio.

Look back with courage and forward with faith

When we think about the future, we usually don’t want to look back. Yet when we use the model of the zodiac sign preceding the one that we’re in, we will often determine whether we advance, stay stuck or regress. The promises of Sagittarius grow from the depths of Scorpio, and it will draw sustenance from the hunger or struggle it represents.

This reminds us that there’s little value in drawing a line between positive and negative, as they are essential parts of one another. The alchemy of achievement is created when both the faith to look forward and the courage to look back are a stirred together in the pot of possibility.

Today's I Ching Hexagram for Aug. 22nd is 53: A Steady Pace

53: A Steady Pace

Thursday, Aug 22nd, 2013

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Like an ancient old-growth forest — where the subtle play of light, texture and shadows is the product of a process measured in centuries and inches — most things of lasting value develop gradually, at their own pace. The ability to learn from experience — one of humanity’s greatest capacities — implies constant yet gradual progress. The combination of stillness within and determination without are the essence of this dynamic. Good things sometimes sprout quickly; the truly delightful take much longer.

The principle of gradual development applies also to human relationships. For love and marriage or any important partnership to endure, progress must be slow but steady: slow enough to allow for the bonds to knit properly; steady enough to keep moving in the right direction.

You can’t expect to have everything all at once. Development must be allowed to take its proper course and allotted time; events must neither be rushed nor manipulated, but allowed to unfold naturally. In this way, you will come to enjoy long-lasting relationships and achieve success.

Daily Horoscopes for Wednesday, August 21

The possibilities before us seem greater than ever, but with the potential also comes complexity. A powerful square between buoyant Jupiter and unpredictable Uranus — a pattern that lasts through next April — provokes extreme action and offers major rewards for bold behavior. However, the Moon slips into fuzzy Pisces at 12:43 am EDT, tempting us to question our optimism. Imagination is a two-way street that can lead to doubt or confidence.

Aries Horoscope

(Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You are often the one who races ahead to achieve an early advantage. Now, however, it’s wise to practice patience on every level. Don’t let your imagination run away with a practical idea. Impulsive action can lessen your chances for success, even if everything looks good at first. Slowing down to a pace that you can sustain ultimately improves your odds of cashing in on the current opportunities.

Taurus Horoscope

(Apr 20 – May 20)

There may be such a high level of uncertainty in your life now that you overcompensate by clinging to the status quo. Paradoxically, it’s not that you want to hold onto the past; you really do crave change, but might be apprehensive about losing control of the process. Fortunately, you can remain open to the potential growth without jumping off a cliff. Don’t let fear stand in the way of the amazing possibilities that could be waiting just around the next corner if you have the courage to go there

Gemini Horoscope

(May 21 – Jun 20)

You like to keep your options open, especially when the choices look so promising. Happily, your future is not set in stone; there are a variety of alternatives to explore now. However, dreaming about each one could get in the way of actually choosing your path. Don’t be overly concerned that you might pick the wrong way; anything that allows you to continue your journey is better than staying in one place.

Cancer Horoscope

(Jun 21 – Jul 22)

Your career may take an unexpected turn now, leading you in an exciting new direction. But the changes could be significant enough that they take several months to play on through. Nevertheless, your upbeat attitude can motivate others at work today. Ironically, it’s your current optimism that might inspire someone to offer you an exciting opportunity that ultimately gives you more freedom while bringing the recognition you deserve.

Leo Horoscope

(Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Lately you can’t stop dreaming about an amazing vacation to an exotic destination. Unfortunately, you might not be able to drop everything in your life and hop a plane for your great escape. But happiness is not as far away as you think. Seek satisfaction where you are, rather than where you wish you were heading. Luckily, you are fully capable of enjoying the present moment even with the unrealized wonders of the future still in front of you.

Virgo Horoscope

(Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Although you prefer relationships to be clearly defined, sometimes it’s best to leave things more open-ended. However, someone’s behavior may be exceptionally difficult to decipher today, even if you ask for clarification. But there’s no need to push too hard; ultimately, you have a better chance of getting what you want if you remain attentive to the signals that others are giving you. If you can’t figure out what’s going on, avoid the temptation to withdraw. An honest dialogue enables you to create something that works for both of you.

Libra Horoscope

(Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You are envisioning your rise to success now, but may be rather impractical about what to do next. Although you might have moments of doubt throughout the day, you can’t help but see the brighter side of every situation now. A positive outlook is healthy, but not if you ignore the facts. Aim high when setting your goals, but be realistic when making choices.

Scorpio Horoscope

(Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You’re not interested in becoming entangled in other people’s emotional dramas these days because you are more intrigued with the idea of exploring your own imagination. The complexities of interpersonal relationships may distract you from your current creative efforts. Even if you love someone enough to offer the help they need, you still must face the limitations of your time. Take care of yourself first or you won’t have much to give to anyone else

Sagittarius Horoscope

(Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You may not be in complete control of your feelings, yet you’re willing to let go and follow the emotional flow wherever it leads. You want to take things seriously, but it might be more important now to pursue the fun things in life. Even if you attempt to adopt a more somber attitude, you could end up frustrated if you try too hard. Fortunately, going along with your imagination today is the best way to realize your creative potential.

Capricorn Horoscope

(Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Your world is full of surprises today, but you might be resistant to them. You want to feel as if you can control the circumstances, but other people’s optimism pulls you out of your safety zone and encourages you to think about possibilities beyond your normal scope. However, there are treasures waiting to be discovered if you have the courage to take a step into the unknown.

Aquarius Horoscope

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Entertaining daydreams about material wealth might motivate you to apply yourself diligently on the job. But unrealistic fantasies about get-rich schemes could distract you from more important work today. Giving yourself permission to think about the potential is healthy if you follow through with concrete actions. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Taking small steps toward a lofty goal is better than taking giant steps toward a more modest one.

Pisces Horoscope

(Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You may feel affectionate today and willing to express what’s in your heart, even if it means being vulnerable. However, it’s not a good idea to pretend that everything is okay if it really isn’t or you’ll end up wasting energy making up for lost time. Explore all your options but don’t slip into denial. You can manifest your dreams if you focus on the right ones.

Your I Ching Hexagram for January 12th is 22: Grace and Beauty

22: Grace and Beauty

Saturday, Jan 12th, 2013

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A splashy sunset bathes the mountains in a soft radiance; the light of a full moon dances on the surface of a rippling river. Grace and beauty adorn the natural world. Grace is not an all-powerful force, nor is it the essential or fundamental thing. By itself, it is form without content. Grace is moonlight on water, not the sunlight at noon. Yet grace brings artistic expression into the world, and enhances the quality of our lives.

In the arts, grace arises out of adherence to form: the dancer becoming the form of the dance, the musician giving life to the form of a musical score, the painter becoming one with the brush and canvas. In human affairs, grace is also aligned with form — with mastery of aesthetic and cultural patterns honed by time and honored by tradition. Through appreciation of graceful customs in human relationships we apprehend the pure beauty of the ideal, of life raised above the mere struggle for survival.

Possession of grace, like the bearing of a beautiful gift to a wedding, can add stature to those in humble positions. Take care to lend grace and dignity even to small happenings, while giving the weight of deep and careful consideration to matters of greater consequence. Though it should not be confused with true substance, an artistic flair can take one far in this world.

Today’s I Ching Hexagram for Nov. 29th is 22: Grace and Beauty

22: Grace and Beauty

Thursday, Nov 29th, 2012

A splashy sunset bathes the mountains in a soft radiance; the light of a full moon dances on the surface of a rippling river. Grace and beauty adorn the natural world. Grace is not an all-powerful force, nor is it the essential or fundamental thing. By itself, it is form without content. Grace is moonlight on water, not the sunlight at noon. Yet grace brings artistic expression into the world, and enhances the quality of our lives.

In the arts, grace arises out of adherence to form: the dancer becoming the form of the dance, the musician giving life to the form of a musical score, the painter becoming one with the brush and canvas. In human affairs, grace is also aligned with form — with mastery of aesthetic and cultural patterns honed by time and honored by tradition. Through appreciation of graceful customs in human relationships we apprehend the pure beauty of the ideal, of life raised above the mere struggle for survival.

Possession of grace, like the bearing of a beautiful gift to a wedding, can add stature to those in humble positions. Take care to lend grace and dignity even to small happenings, while giving the weight of deep and careful consideration to matters of greater consequence. Though it should not be confused with true substance, an artistic flair can take one far in this world.

Your Daily Horoscopes for Tuesday, November 20

We may think that we know what we want, but could grow confused midday by our own dreams and fears. The day starts with a clever Aquarius Moon but her shift into compassionate Pisces at 11:54 am EST replaces intellect with intuition. Our emotions deepen, putting us in closer touch with our subconscious desires. The Moon’s afternoon conjunction with spiritual Neptune is countered by her harmonious trine to practical Saturn later this evening.

 

Aries Horoscope

(Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Your feelings are a bit fuzzy today and every time you dip in to test the emotional waters, you come back up with a different reading of what’s happening. You’re not happy about something now, but it’s difficult to put your finger on the source of your worries. Be courageous and share your concerns with someone you trust, even if you don’t know where the conversation may go.

 

Taurus Horoscope

(Apr 20 – May 20)

Just as the truth begins to dawn on you today, it slips away as if it isn’t ready to reveal itself yet. There are serious discussions that must take place first. Nevertheless, steer clear of the emotional landmines that might trigger conflicts about control and power. Listen to your instincts before expressing your heart.

 

Gemini Horoscope

(May 21 – Jun 20)

It’s crucial to stay on top of the details today, especially at work. Little things can be buried in ways that make them seem less obvious, but they are more important than you realize. Don’t try anything underhanded, for your motives will be all too transparent. Too much information may be coming your way, but if you pay diligent attention now you should be able to put it all into place.

 

Cancer Horoscope

(Jun 21 – Jul 22)

Today the focus is not on your external world. You are in touch with a very wide range of emotions that have pulled you into the rapidly changing currents. You might feel as if you’re in over your head, but only if you dwell on the past too long. Supportive people are on your side now and will come to your rescue if you need it. Go ahead and explore the deep waters of your feelings; it’s much safer than you think.

 

Leo Horoscope

(Jul 23 – Aug 22)

You may feel stress as you attempt to balance your outward appearance with your inner feelings today. You have a natural tendency to act your way through a difficult situation, but now your inner voice is telling you not to sweep your emotions under the rug. Although it might not be time to shake everything up, you can feel the pressure building. Don’t rush the process; the time for change is near.

 

Virgo Horoscope

(Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Relationship issues intensify today as the Moon enters your 7th House of Others. You may be driven to deal with an uncomfortable feeling that has been brewing for quite some time. There are thoughts that you’ve been hiding just beneath your awareness, probably because they are inconvenient to bring out into the open. Whether it seems opportune or not, today just might be your day to come clean.

 

Libra Horoscope

(Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You may be feeling dangerously close to an emotional meltdown and there doesn’t appear to be a quick fix to this uncomfortable situation. You want to tell it like it is today, but you might get discouraged when you consider the possible negative reactions you could receive. Don’t get stuck by your desire to make everyone feel at ease. Being honest is more important now than being nice.

 

Scorpio Horoscope

(Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You are coming into another phase of powerful changes this week. You are no stranger to transformation, although at times it occurs very slowly. However, things are likely to move much quicker now. Nevertheless, don’t be lulled into inaction by today’s dreams of living on Easy Street. Take control of the current situation by setting goals and building momentum as time goes by.

 

Sagittarius Horoscope

(Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You may feel uncertain about your direction in life today, even if you think that all is well at first. You might be hurt by a situation that raises painful memories, so it’s crucial to realize what’s happening now is not the same as what happened in the past. Recognize your weak spots and take your time to uncover the origins of your emotions so that true healing can finally begin.

 

Capricorn Horoscope

(Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Make an extra effort to share what’s on your mind today with friends or coworkers. You could be feeling more emotional than you’re letting on, which is often your style, but right now you have a perfect chance to reveal your softer side. Remember, vulnerability does not have to be a weakness. It takes a special kind of strength to be honest about your limitations.

 

Aquarius Horoscope

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Your recent run-in with your own irrationality begins to fade as your emotions finally settle down a bit. But just because the clouds are lifting now, don’t fool yourself into thinking that the issues are resolved. You would do well to reconsider your feelings of anger or resentment today. Perhaps you don’t need to do anything about them yet, but awareness is a good place to start.

 

Pisces Horoscope

(Feb 19 – Mar 20)

A fog settles over the land this afternoon, making your logic unreliable as a navigational tool. You aren’t as certain about anything today. Although you can feel a rumbling beneath the surface, it’s not strong enough to be an earthquake. Finding your way can be tricky, but you don’t have a choice now. Trust your imagination while drawing the map that you need to reach your future destination.

Daily OM for November 19th – The Dance of Intimacy

The Dance of Intimacy

Coming Back to Center in a Relationship

by Madisyn Taylor

In a long-term relationship it is often necessary to get back to basics and come back to center with each other.

 

Anyone in a long-term relationship knows that the dance of intimacy involves coming together and moving apart. Early in a relationship, intense periods of closeness are important in order to establish the ground of a new union. Just as a sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree, budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity, attention, and nurturance of earlier times, is essential.

In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and care if they are to thrive.

One of the best ways to nourish a relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Focus instead on the positive, which is the fact that you want to grow closer together. Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. In other cases, more intense effort and attention may be required. You may want to set aside time to talk and come up with solutions together. Remember to have compassion for each other. You’re in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. Express faith and confidence in each other, and enjoy the slow dance of intimacy that can resume between the two of you.

Daily OM

Daily OM for November 9th – Being Alone

Being Alone

A Relationship with Self

by Madisyn Taylor

By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.

 

The most important relationship we have in our lives is with our selves. And even though we are the only ones who are present at every moment of our lives—from birth onward—this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.

Perhaps at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, while living alone. We can now support ourselves financially, socially, and emotionally without needing a spouse for survival in any of these realms. With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners, creative cohorts, and neighbors. Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a mate then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created and the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

As we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we may find that there are times where being alone nourishes us and other periods in which a partnership is best for our growth. We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory. Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognizable roles or not. Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship—the one with our true selves.

The Second REDE – The Web of Life

THE SECOND REDE – THE WEB OF LIFE

There shall ye assemble, ye who are fain to learn all sorcery, yet
have not won its deepest secrets; to these shall I teach things that
are as yet unknown.

Moondaughter taught us that the act of creation did not end when the Lady gave birth to the universe. Energy continuously generated by the loving union of the
Lord and Lady still radiates to every being, linking all things together in a
vast web.
According to Moondaughter, however, individual beings do not receive this energy
in isolation; it is through the web of relationships between beings that all
share in the energy of life. These relationships determine the character of
every being, and so by changing these relationships, we can change reality.

Magical Relationships

Changing relationships was the kind of magic Moondaughter most often recommended
to her students, especially in the early months of training when the focus was
upon changing the self. She urged her students to take conscious control of
their relationships with thoughtforms, and to make a magical act of their
interaction with others.

Thus she might advise a student troubled by self-doubt to cut off interaction
with doubts and thus deprive such thoughts of their energy. Or she might advise
a student to overcome dislike of a fellow student by making a magical ritual of
treating the other as a friend.

The psychological effects of such techniques are obvious — and not without
their dangers. But the effects of Moondaughter’s techniques were magical as well
as psychological, and under Moondaughter’s gentle guidance, students kept both
their magic and their psychology in balance.

For Moondaughter, the magic of psychological and interpersonal relationships was
just one example of a set of principles which equally applied to the
interdependence of the ecosystem and the invisible energies that we call magic.
In every case influencing the relevant relationships can cause change.

The Dangers of Magic

Moondaughter taught, however, that to exercise such influence one must oneself
enter into relationship with that which one would change. Since every
relationship alters for good or ill each being who is a party to it, every
spell, for better or worse, is a spell of self-transformation.

We were taught that in order to enter into a relationship with an other, we must
have certain elements in common with the other, and those common elements become
the initial basis of the relationship. I know of no magical system which does
not include operations which have the purpose of creating within the operator
herself those elements possessed by that force which she wishes to call upon, in
order that the resulting relationship will be strong enough to produce a
manifestation on the physical plane.

Since all beings are children of the same Parents, there is no other with whom
one has absolutely nothing in common, but the character of the relationship will
be influenced by the particular commonalties which exist. During the
relationship the two beings share elements, and so that commonalty which is the
basis of the relationship tends to expand.

Obviously this makes intercourse with demonic entities prohibitively costly, but
Moondaughter taught that the same principle is at work in physical world
relationships as well. Relationships, esoteric or mundane, change us.

Magical Correspondences

Moondaughter’s tradition, rooted as it was in rural life, made little use of the
more complex props and associations of ceremonial magic. Nevertheless, it seems
to me that her teachings on relationships explain well why ceremonialists should
make use of such associations.

Enhancing a working with the proper color, the proper incense, the proper day
and time, and a hundred other such correspondences increases the common elements
which form the basis of the worker’s link to the object of the ritual, and
greatly increases the worker’s link to the egregore of whichever tradition which
has handed down those particular associations. Likewise, Moondaughter’s
understanding of relationships would explain why clippings of hair or
fingernails, photographs, or objects closely associated with a person or place
could add power to a working.

Moondaughter’s tradition, however, made almost no use of such things. I believe
that, if I had been wise enough to question her about this, she would have said
that the Web of Life already connects us to every other being, and that the most
important common elements in any magical working are wholly within oneself.

Daily OM for July 12 – The Friend We Want to Be

The Friend We Want to Be

Evaluating Our Relationships

by Madisyn Taylor

Be the friend to others that you wish them to be to you.

 

There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we’re trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.

We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn’t so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.

An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.

Daily Horoscopes for Wednesday, June 20

We’re hesitant to reveal too much today because we worry about how others might react. The cautious Cancer Moon is supported by the Sun’s shift into Cancer at 7:08 pm EDT, marking the Summer Solstice. Rational Mercury’s square to stern Saturn has us thinking twice before we say anything, and an anxious Venus-Pluto aspect complicates emotions further. Nevertheless, we still desire romantic excitement as sensual Venus sextiles irrepressible Uranus.
Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Your chores have piled up, especially if you’ve been procrastinating lately. In fact, the stack may be so high that it could topple over. Carefully considered preventive measures can help save the day, but you must act with restraint. If you try to fix everything all at once by impulsively jumping in with both feet, your intervention might start an avalanche that brings it all down on top of you. A shortcut is certainly tempting, but a conservative approach works best now if you want to make real progress.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Intense interactions between you and your friends may pull you away from your regular routine as a minor disagreement turns into a serious conflict. You can smooth over the rough spots by choosing the right words to express your feelings. However, you don’t have to go to extremes while sharing your emotions. Handling the basics of practical living always makes sense, but today you must also honor what’s in your heart.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

You may feel a bit relieved and also a little let down today as the Sun leaves flighty Gemini for the watery realms of Cancer. Allowing the energy to shift out of your head and lower into your body might increase your vulnerability. Thankfully, no one expects you to have all the answers now. Instead, just listen to your intuition; it will steer you in the right direction.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

The Sun’s return to the sign of Cancer marks the beginning of your astrological birthday month, bringing increased vitality your way. You are reconnecting with your personal power now, but could have moments of self-doubt when you realize how much work is still ahead. Thankfully, you’re up for the challenge. Acknowledging whatever’s been holding you back enables you to change your assumptions and step into a more meaningful future.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

You may be drawn into your own inner drama now as the Sun slips into your 12th House of Secrets. Memories of the past, your family or your childhood give rise to powerful feelings that flood into your imagination. Fortunately, having more options available gives you the chance to eliminate a repetitive pattern that’s no longer working for you. Although you might be all over the emotional map today, seeing things from multiple points of view inspires you to elevate your awareness to a higher level.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Your vision of the future shifts today like the winds before a storm, making it difficult to know which way to go. However, you’re so perceptive now that you can discern the most significant thoughts from the background noise. Hold tight to your most valuable ideas, for they will guide you over the weeks ahead as the Sun travels through your 11th House of Hopes and Wishes. Don’t let anyone talk you out of your dreams, for they are the primary way to nurture your soul at this time.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You’re eager to participate in activities that involve people who can further your goals today. Naturally, doing what’s best for everyone is your preference, but it may not be so easy now that you’re being pulled in several directions. One part of you understands the sacrifice you’re ready to make, but another part resents what you are about to do. Remember, no one will be satisfied with the outcome if you aren’t happy with your choices, so reconsider your plans before initiating action.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You’re able to emotionally connect with others while also staying in touch with your own feelings now that the Sun is visiting the watery realms of Cancer. However, don’t expect the current intensity to dissipate. Instead, your passions may actually deepen. But it will become easier to manage your emotions over the next few weeks as long as you don’t bury them with nervous chatter or constant activity. Creating time for contemplation makes room for new insights to pop into awareness and inspire your dreams.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Relationships remain a top priority with loving Venus still retrograde in your 7th House of Partnerships, but the emphasis is changing from casual interactions to deeper and more powerful issues. This is the stuff that intimacy is made of, yet you may be resistant to the feelings of vulnerability that accompany this dance. Nevertheless, it’s time to go beyond words and sink into the mystery. Even if you long for the safety of logic, this emotional exploration could reveal previously buried treasure if you’re willing to take the plunge.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You’re often focused on your work and how you can get ahead in the world, but now there is also a light shining on your interpersonal relationships as the Sun visits your 7th House of Companions. Give yourself permission to honor your feelings and try not to be overly concerned if you temporarily forget about your career ambitions. Putting extra time toward nurturing a partnership just might bring emotional rewards far richer than professional recognition.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Today it might seem as if the fun and games are over, but, happily, they’re not. It’s just that it’s time to complete unfinished chores, and playtime may get pushed down toward the bottom of your priorities. Although summer is officially here (in the Northern Hemisphere), it’s difficult to enjoy yourself now while still acting in a responsible manner. You’ll relax even more once you feel the satisfaction from a job well done.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You Fish can swim a bit easier for the next month now that the Sun is journeying through your 5th House of Fun and Games. Although your feelings have been running deep lately, you grow more lighthearted today. You might appear more spontaneous and playful, yet you’re also quite serious about what you want. Trust your instincts and follow the currents wherever they take you.

Why women lose interest in sex

By Jennifer Abbasi, LiveScience

 

Study: The longer a woman is in a relationship, the more her sexual desire decreases. Men reported no such decrease.

 

New research is demonstrating what many people already knew from experience: Women lose interest in sex over time, while men don’t.

The finding has the potential to help couples, the researchers said. Knowing that many women’s sexual desire diminishes over the course of a relationship could encourage both partners to be more realistic about their sex lives, and could help them weather the changes in desire as they occur.
Sex researchers Sarah Murray and Robin Milhausen, both of the University of Guelph in Ontario, Canada, asked 170 undergraduate women and men who had been in heterosexual relationships for anywhere from one month to nine years to report on their levels of relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction and sexual desire. Desire was scored using an established model called the Female Sexual Function Index, which ranges from 1.2 to 6.0.
The participants reported being generally satisfied with their relationships and sex lives, but women reported lower levels of desire depending on the length of their relationship. “Specifically, for each additional month women in this study were in a relationship with their partner, their sexual desire decreased by 0.02 on the Female Sexual Function Index,” the authors wrote online Jan. 23 in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.
In fact, relationship duration was a better predictor of sexual desire in women than both relationship and sexual satisfaction. While the 0.02 decrease in female desire was small, it contrasts with male desire, which held steady over time, the researchers said. [6 Scientific Tips for a Happy Relationship]
Evolution of desire
Scientists have disagreed on what happens to desire over the course of a relationship. “Some researchers suggest that both men’s and women’s desire would decrease over time as relationships move from passionate love to compassionate love,” said Murray, the lead study author and a doctoral candidate in human sexuality.
Yet evolutionary theorists predict that male desire should remain perpetually high in order for them to produce many offspring, while female desire should decrease as their attention turns, historically, toward child-rearing.
The new research points toward the latter theory, although longer-duration studies on different groups of people are still needed, Murray said.
Men consistently report higher levels of sexual desire than women. Differences in levels of hormones — testosterone, specifically — are believed to at least partially explain the gender divide.
Hormonal changes that occur as couples move from the passionate early stage to the compassionate later stage into monogamous relationships sometime between six and 30 months may also mediate changes in desire over time. Pharmaceutical companies are currently researching the impact of testosterone on women’s desire, but so far, the results have been inconclusive.
Hormones are only part of the story, Murray told LiveScience. “Although they are one piece of the sexual desire puzzle, focusing too heavily on hormones can remove the contextual factors that play into desire, such as whether or not a woman is in a satisfying, loving relationship, and if she has time to feel relaxed, playful and sexy,” she said.
Keeping the spark alive
The results could help researchers understand why women who seek sex therapy complain of low desire more than any other problem. Differences in levels of desire within couples, known as desire discrepancy, is a growing area of interest for therapists.
“The concept of an absolute level of ‘normal’ or ‘low’ sexual desire is being replaced by the view that low sexual desire is relative to one’s partner’s level of desire,” Murray said. But although desire discrepancy is known to negatively affect overall sexual and relationship satisfaction, very little else is understood about it, such as whether it contributes significantly to infidelity or breakups.
The new research could also help couples manage their relationships over time. In an earlier study, Murray found that women who reported more realistic expectations about what sex would be like in a long-term relationship also had higher levels of desire than those with less realistic expectations. “I think that individuals who expect to maintain the high level of excitement and passion that often exists in the first few months of a new relationship are setting up unrealistic expectations about what is to come and will be more disappointed when the desire and passion take on different forms,” she said.
She added that normalizing the fact that sexual desire may decrease over time may help both sexes to understand that this decrease does not necessarily mean anything is intrinsically wrong with their relationship, and may help couples put more effort into their sexual relationship.
“When an individual has had sex with their partner over the course of many, many years, it takes creativity and openness to keep things fresh and exciting,” Murray said. “Making time to be together and keep one’s sex life as an important part of one’s relationship is very important, and putting in effort and keeping things fun and interesting are crucial components.”
A long-term trend?
The researchers cautioned that longer-term studies of desire that include older couples could show different results. Younger women may report decreased desire as they experience their first relationship move away from the “honeymoon phase,” for example.
They may also not have experienced some of the benefits of longer-term relationships that may increase desire, such as going on romantic vacations, getting engaged, learning more about their sexual likes — and feeling comfortable sharing those likes with their partner.
Murray added that the self-reported nature of the study could have also skewed the results. “It has been theorized that men may be less inclined to admit that they have low desire as this is considered against male gender norms and masculinity,” she said. “Thus, it may be that men are not accurately reporting their level of desire and they may too experience a decrease.” Murray is preparing to study whether men accurately report their levels of desire.
Follow Jen Abbasi on Twitter @jenabbasi. Follow LiveScience for the latest in science news and discoveries on Twitter @livescience and on Facebook.

 

MNN

 

Tips for Surviving Monogamy

Tips for Surviving Monogamy

  • Pamela Madsen

In the top 10 reasons why individuals and couples come to me for intimacy and sexuality coaching is the reality that they have simply stopped having sex. Many think that what they need is “Sexual CPR.” They know it is not because they have stopped loving each other, or even think that they have stopped finding each other sexy. It’s just that they are not “turned on” or excited by each other anymore. The problem is time and togetherness can wear down erotic energy in long-term relationships.

If you are in a long term monogamous relationship, and you have stopped having sex, or sex is very infrequent, you may think you are broken or something is wrong with you or your relationship. It might be comforting to know that you are far from alone.

Sexual boredom and the lack of fire are often the reasons why some people reach outside of their long term relationship even though they are still happy with their partner on all other levels.

In a culture that is obsessed with sex, we ironically provide very little adult sex education. Outside of a myriad of “how to” sex books, there is very little in the way of authentic tools taught to us about how to make sex happen when it stops, and how to make it feel good again.

What we need to learn is that sex needs to become a pleasure that we decide to make happen as opposed to us waiting for the heat of desire to take us over. It can seem awfully boring, and certainly not a NY Times bestseller, to preach about how we need to create time and room for sex in our lives when our hormones are not raging for it. If you are waiting to be swept away by fiery passion in a long term relationship, it is possible you will be waiting a long time for your next sexual experience!

But putting conscious effort into what we think should come naturally can be very uncomfortable for many couples. Even couples who seek sexual coaching can have a lot of trouble doing their homework, because homework means consciously choosing to have a sexual experience. It can feel very awkward and uncomfortable to put sex on the calendar for Wednesday night!

But it is also very empowering to be able to consciously deal with sex as we do with everything else that is important in our lives. When we make room for sex, and put sex on the calendar we are making a very important statement to ourselves and to our partner. In making the commitment to mindful sex, we are also declaring to our partners that not only is sex worthy of our time and attention – but so are they.

Knowing that our partners still find us desirable and are willing to plan to show up for us is incredibly important. That kind of conscious love will not only help fuel our erotic engines again, but all of the other parts of our relationship as well.

The biggest resistance I get from couples around “calendar sex” is that scheduling sex is not “hot sex.” Somehow, if we feel like our love-making is not going to be red hot and smoking, then “Why bother?” The fact is that calender sex may not start as hot sex, but it can start as “warm sex”!

Warm sex can be very nourishing and pleasurable and can reward you in a manner that hot sex can’t. Try thinking about showing up for sex as anticipating and savoring a warm, nourishing, slow-cooked, pleasurable meal. And everybody knows that a pot has to warm up before it can boil.

Sex Educator and Sexological Body Worker, Caffyn Jesse offers these tools for conscious and warm sex:

“Why not experiment with expressing a range of emotions sexually: anger, frolic, naughtiness, mindlessness? We can play doctor, play dominatrix, have sex in a car, have a wild affair with our spouse.

When couples choose to explore the path of pleasure, learning and conscious sexuality, an astonishing richness becomes possible. We can share profound bonding, ecstatic awareness, and infinite variety within a single relationship.”

Mark Semple, an Intimacy, Love and Business Coach suggests “Being gentle with ourselves is essential in this pursuit. Allowing ourselves a timeout from the demands of daily life and family. Ensuring we are our top priority and care for ourselves the way we care for everyone else. Exploring our hearts, minds, spirits and bodies to reconnect with our essence and align with that which does get out passion burning and our juices flowing.”

Allow yourselves to explore pleasure again, and challenge each other to move past your sexual limitations. Do you feel a little fear sharing a long held fantasy with your partner? Try sharing it and see what happens! Have you ever experimented with your partner with one-way touch and sensual massage? Bring out the oil! Give yourself the room to explore all of the various ways you can allow pleasure into your life.

You can welcome sex back into your relationship. You don’t have to wait until you solve all of the problems that occur in a long term relationship. Don’t be stalemated by old conflicts, grudges, and who did the dishes last. You might be surprised to discover that when you welcome sex back into your relationship in a conscious and warm way – all of those old issues may start to feel less important after all.

Choosing Happiness, It’s actually your choice

Nature Comments & Graphics
Choosing Happiness

It’s actually your choice

From Jaelin K. Reece,

Did you know that happiness is up to you?

It’s actually your choice.

You can choose to be happy instead of waiting around for it to suddenly appear out of nowhere one day and land in your lap. Happiness is called upon and cultivated.

I am the Creator of My Own Thoughts

Now keep in mind, this is my personal perspective of happiness. You might have a different view. Everyone has a unique view point, especially where emotion is concerned. But, nonetheless, I like my outlook on happiness. It helps me to see that I am the creator of my own thoughts and state of mind. It is my choice what feeling I choose to have on any given day. This does not mean I don’t go with the flow of feelings, but that I can choose at any given moment to change what it is I desire.

For example, if I am having a hectic day, and I do have my share, I can choose to be breathless with activity or I can remind myself to stop and choose to be calm. I can go out for a walk and embrace the beauty that surrounds me and choose to experience that aesthetic as appreciation, gratitude, joy or numbness. I can choose to vacate and disconnect from my feelings, I can space out and be oblivious, or I can call upon the grace of the moment and be one with the beauty. These are all options.

We Have the Power to Choose

I think we as a society, collectively lose sight of how power-full we really are. I mean really full of power. We have the power to choose. It is something we are born with. No one has the power to take that away from us. It is our birthright.

The key to owning that power fully, is to accept that you are a rightful heir to it. Knowing that you are empowered within to choose your emotion, to choose how you respond or react to something, is all up to you. It is all choice.

Choosing Powerlessness

Many times, our childhood experiences and life learning gear us away from our power. We learned to give it all away, to quietly accept whatever happens to us, without question, without standing up and saying ‘No!’ We have become a passive society of powerless and uninspired automatons, going along with the crowd. It’s a sad state of affairs that we have been raised in. Somewhere along the line, a standard was laid out and we are ‘expected’ to magically meet this invisible ‘standard’ by compromising and living according to someone else’s perspectives. Where is the happiness in that?

I guess that leads me back to my original statement.

Choosing happiness is a choice.

Anytime you choose, you are making a decision. You are engaging your power.

Think about how you are feeling right now. How long has it been since you chose what you wanted to feel?

I am not suggesting that you go into a state of denial if you are in trauma, but I am suggesting that you insert a new option for yourself. Instead of sitting in pain, decide for 10 minutes that you will focus on happiness.

How does it make you feel? Are you lighter? Was a burden lifted? Even if it was a mere 10 minutes, it was a starting point. It was a choice. Would you rather go through life choosing happiness and drawing happy experiences to you, or by sitting in pain and expecting the worst, thereby feeling the worst?

It is still a choice.

It is your choice.

Why Not Choose to Experience Happiness?

I ask only that this stirs a thought within you. It is my hope that you will look at the power you possess and carpe diem – seize the day! Make a choice! Choose to experience happiness in your life.

It’s all up to you.

Enjoy – or not- it’s your choice.

    
~Magickal Graphics~

Your Daily Number for Jan. 8th: 5

Maintain flexibility today, because your plans may change more than once. Your intuition can’t be beat, so don’t be afraid to rely on it and to be decisive. It’s a wonderful day for social interaction.

Fast Facts

About the Number 5

Theme: Resourceful, Adventure, Speculation, Travel
Astro Association: Taurus
Tarot Association: Hierophant