Category: Articles

Elder’s Meditation of the Day – January 15

Elder’s Meditation of the Day – January 15

It’s all spirit and it’s all connected.”

–Grandfather William Commanda, ALGONQUIN

If everything is connected, we cannot disconnect. To disconnect is not a real choice. This is why we are always spiritual no matter what we do. Every alcoholic is spiritual. All our brothers and sisters are spiritual. We may not be behaving correctly, but nevertheless, we are spiritual. Our choice is to live out of harmony with spiritual ways or in harmony with spiritual ways. Everything is spiritual.

Great Spirit, give me the knowledge to be in harmony with the spirit today.

January 15 – Daily Feast

January 15 – Daily Feast

 

Feeling drained and weak in the knees is not so much a physical problem as an emotional one. Too much pressure drains away strength and we feel we are going to pieces. Inertia and lightheadedness may be the result of having to face something that seems beyond any power to overcome. But these will dissolve when met with strong words of strength and faith. As soon as strength takes hold and begins to flow again, we know we have struck down something so wily and subtle that it was both real and imaginary. But nothing has power against strong words, “I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick.” And then we can ride the waves of our emotions like a canoe and not get upset among the waves.

~ Black Hawk is a true Indian, and disdains to cry like a woman. ~

BLACK HAWK

‘A Cherokee Feast of Days’, by Joyce Sequichie Hifler

Daily OM For January 15th – Allowing Spirit In

Allowing Spirit In

Clearing Your Mind

by Madisyn Taylor

 

The more we practice settling our minds, the easier it will become over time.

 

After a full day out in the world, stories, words, images, and songs from any number of sources continue to play in our heads hours after we encounter them. Even as we lie in bed, in the quiet dark, our minds continue noisily processing all the input from our day. This can leave us feeling unsettled and harassed. It also makes it difficult to take in any new information or inspiration. Like a cluttered house that needs to be cleared if it is to have room for movement and new life, our minds need clearing if they are to be open to new information, ideas, and inspiration.

Too often, the activities we choose to help us relax only add to the clutter. Watching television, seeing a movie, reading a book, or talking to a friend all involve taking in more information. In order to really clear our minds, we need a break from mental stimulation. Activities like yoga, dancing, or taking a long walk help to draw our attention to our bodies, slowing our mental activity enough that our minds begin to settle. Deep breathing is an even simpler way to draw attention away from our mental activities. Once we are mentally relaxed, we can begin the process of clearing our minds. Most of us instinctively know what allows our minds to relax and release any unnecessary clutter. It may be meditation or time spent staring at the stars. Whatever it is, these exercises feel like a cool, cleansing bath for the brain and leave our minds feeling clear and open.

Setting aside time to clear our minds once a day creates a ritual that becomes second nature over time. Our minds will begin to settle with less effort the more we practice. Ultimately, the practice of clearing our minds allows us to be increasingly more open so that we can perceive the world as the fresh offering it is, free of yesterday’s mental clutter.

 

The Daily OM

Your Horoscope Bird of Power

Your Horoscope Bird of Power

Ever wish you could fly? Your sun sign is traditionally associated with  different birds that can carry messages to the Great Spirit for you, offer  spirit-support and healing, or sing a song for your soul.

Find out which birds are your horoscope birds of power here.

Aries, March 21-April 19: Vulture, magpie, robin.

Taurus, April 20-May 21: Dove, sparrow, swan.

Gemini, May 22-June 20: Parrot, linnet, eagle, finch.

Cancer, June 21-July 22: Seagull, owl, white peacock.

Leo, July 23- Aug. 22: Peacock, rooster, eagle.

Virgo, Aug. 23-Sept. 22: Rooster, magpie, parrot.

Libra, Sept. 23-Oct. 22: Dove, swan, sparrow.

Scorpio, Oct. 23-Nov. 21: Eagle, vulture.

Sagittarius, Nov. 22-Dec. 21: Eagle, peacock, bird of paradise.

Capricorn, Dec. 22-Jan. 19: Owl, falcon.

Aquarius, Jan. 20-Feb. 18: Cuckoo, albatross.

Pisces, Feb. 19-March 20: Swan, stork, sandpiper.

Trail Magic: Creating an incense trail

Trail Magic: Creating an incense trail

Author: Incense Dragon

Everyone knows what incense is, don’t they? It’s the little sticks and cones you get at the grocery store that smell like Apple or Musk, right? Well, it hasn’t always been that way.

Incense is one of the oldest tools of magic and ritual but its lore, history and modern hobbyists are virtually unknown to much of the Pagan community. The incense “trail” represents an ancient incense burning technique that is highly applicable to modern magic practices and ritual. I should also mention it’s a great deal of fun.

An incense trail is simply a line of incense powder that is burned. A trail can be as simple as a line of powdered sandalwood on a rock. While this is not the preferred method, you can make it work with practice. This is likely the first form of incense trail, but ancient practice eventually elevated the incense trail to a critical role in society.

Before the availability of high quality, spring-powered clocks there were many different methods employed to keep track of time – especially at night. Among the many devices created were clocks powered by dripping or running water. Although some were fairly accurate, they were no good in freezing conditions or on a swaying ship. There were also candles used to mark the time, but environmental conditions could greatly affect their accuracy. The incense “clock” was another attempt to mark time.

In a bed of pure ash, a line can be pressed into the surface. That depression would then be carefully filled with a powdered incense mixture. When used for timekeeping, a special incense blend was used since its burning times were well known. Special markers were then inserted along this trail of incense. The markers could be used to signal a changing of guards, mealtimes or working hours, but their primary use was to mark times to pray.

Eventually incense clocks were developed that used incense sticks to give even more consistent timing. Incense alarm clocks were eventually created. These sometimes used bells hung from the incense stick with thread. When the stick burned to the thread it would break and the bell would clang to the floor.

This is an extremely condensed look at a fascinating topic. If you have more interest in the ancient use of incense clocks read Silvio Bedini’s book The Trail of Time. It is a rare look at this amazing lost art form.

The good news about all of this is you can start using incense trails yourself. You will need ash, incense powder (powdered sandalwood works great), a heat resistant dish or large incense censer and a match or lighter. It’s best to put your censer where it will be used before you begin to minimize movement.

What should you draw? Just think of the magical possibilities. Symbols are an important part of magic. You can draw symbols for deities, astrological signs, runes or geometric shapes. The possibilities are as limitless as your imagination. Think of the energy of the slowly burning shape as you raise power in your circle. Use trails to time rituals or to cleanse a space. Trails can elevate your incense from being a part of the magical background to a central part of any ritual.

You might have everything you need in your house except for the required amount of ash. You can harvest ash from some other activity if you wish. Never use ash from your charcoal grill or ashes containing synthetic “fire logs.” Ash from incense censers, campfires and fireplaces can be used but I don’t recommend them. If you use such recycled ash, be certain to sift it through a fine screen and then bake the ash in a warm oven for 20-30 minutes to remove as much scent as possible.

A better solution is to purchase ash specifically for incense use. Ash is an important part of Asian incense traditions (such as the Japanese Kodo ceremony). As a result, many shops that sell Asian incense sell pure ash as well. That’s the best possible source if you plan to make incense trails. The pure white ash is scentless and ready for use.

Simply fill your dish or censer with ash and lightly tamp the censer (you can tap the censer lightly a few times on a sturdy table, but pressing down on the ash with something solid works even better). This is to level the ash and make it a bit firmer. You can then make shallow impressions on the surface of the ash. For this, you can use simple stamps (complex designs don’t work very well) from your local craft store, cookie cutters (insert the cutter about 1/8 of an inch deep and move it very slightly from side to side) or simply draw in the ash with a skewer or toothpick. The edge of a paper card will work as well.

No matter what tool you choose, keep the impressions no more than 1/8 inch deep and try to move the excess ash to the sides of your impressions. Especially when using a toothpick or skewer, the ash might try to build up in front of your tool making it more difficult to draw. Push the ash side to side instead. Just try and create a smooth impression – you might need to trace the shape several times to clear the entire trail.

You are not limited in what you can draw. The important thing to keep in mind is that every one of the lines you draw needs to be connected to another line. You might think of it as a line of dominoes you want to topple. If they don’t touch, the chain will stop. It’s the same with incense. Unlike dominoes, burning incense travels in multiple directions. If you draw a circle of incense, when you light it the incense will burn both directions around the circle. Every junction of lines will be lighted at the same time. I have a pentagram stamp that I made that would originally burn in eight different places at once.

While you can use those burning characteristics to your advantage, in general you want only one point on the line of incense to burn. Otherwise plumes of smoke result. The simplest way to control this it to put “blocks” in place. Use your drawing tool to break the lines of incense with a barrier of ash. You can also place small pieces of metal (in a pinch, a penny will work) in the trail of incense. Once the burning incense reaches the metal, it will go out.

Once you have made an impression in the ash and established any ash blocks you might need, fill the impression with incense powder. This is the trickiest part, although it’s not as tough as it seems at first glance. I’ve experimented with a lot of techniques but have found one to be the easiest. I was actually inspired to it while watching Tibetan monks making a sand painting. They use long metal tubes, tapered at one end, which they fill with colored sand and then gently rub to release the sand from the narrow end. It gives them great control over where every grain of sand goes. I tried this with tubes and met with some success, but when I transitioned to paper cards I found the method I prefer.

Use a 3” X 5” paper card. Fold the card in half in line with the long edge. This gives you a 1 ½ X 5 card. Open the card partially and you have a large cavity you can fill with incense powder. Fill the card about 1/3 full with powder (as I said before, you can just use powdered sandalwood and get great results). Push some of the powder away from one end of the card, so that only a thin line is left at the edge of the card. You can then use that end of the card to fill your impression in the ash.

Put the end of the card just above the impression with the folded edge of the card down. That will make the card a large V-shape with the incense powder held in the center. I like to hold the card in my right hand with the two folded up edges touching the palm of my hand. I then extend the “drawing” end of the card slightly past the palm of my hand. With the end of the card just above the ash and the card at about a 25 degree angle, I tap the end of the card with my left hand. Each tap causes a small bit of incense powder to fall precisely where I want it to go. By gently tapping the card and moving it over every part of the impression in the ash, I can fill the impression to the exact depth I desire.

Once the impression is filled, you can tap or press its surface lightly to get perfect contact, but that’s an optional step. With practice you can fill the impression very well without the need to press it together. The trail looks better without pressing, since that process “blurs” the shape you draw in the ash.

After you’ve drawn an impression and filled it with powder, the incense trail is ready for use. Once the impression is filled, you should move your censer as little as possible. Each time you move it, you could displace the trail and make it harder to see or break the line. If the trail won’t be used immediately, consider covering the censer to keeping wind or drafts from disturbing it.

To light the trail, you can simply apply flame directly to the lighting point you’ve chosen. It’s usually best to light the trail at one end, but you can get a great effect from starting in the middle of the trail. You will need to hold the flame in place for at least 30 seconds to get it burning well. You might notice that where ash and flame meet, the ash becomes discolored. The same will happen as the incense trail burns past the ash. Once the flame is removed, the incense will continue to burn along the path you’ve set for it.

A more elegant way to light the trail is to use stick or cone incense. You can use the stick or cone as a fuse. Set the incense cone directly atop the lighting point on the trail. If using a stick, break off a small section and insert it into the starting point of the trail. If you use so-called “masala” incense sticks (the kind with a wooden rod in the center of the stick), make certain you break off a piece that is completely covered in incense material. The top two inches of stick is best. If you’re using a “joss stick” of incense, any two-inch section will be fine.

Put the cone or stick in place at the starting point (the trailhead, if you will) and light it as you normally would. As the stick or cone burns down to the incense trail, the trail will light. You can also light an incense stick and place it atop the powder parallel to the trail. Some traditions call for lighting an incense stick and then inserting the burning end into the powder.

Incorporating incense trails into your rituals, both large and small, is not only rewarding magically, it’s also a lot of fun. Like any skill, it requires practice to get the exact effect you desire but even first-time trail makers will find it easy and enjoyable. Bring an ancient form magic to your next circle and you won’t be disappointed.

Footnotes:
Bedini, Silvio A. – The Trails of Time: Time measurement with incense in East Asia – Cambridge University Press, 1994

Neal, Carl F. – Incense: Crafting and Use of Magickal Scents – Llewellyn Worldwide, 2003

Seeing Through Symbols

Seeing Through Symbols

Author: Lady GoldenRaven

In my twenty-plus years of practicing, I have tried many forms of divination. Over these years, there are only four types of divination I use on a regular basis. These are: my pendulum, nature, my scrying mirror/bowl, and runes.

Before I continue though, I want to make it clear, that as Wytchs, shamans, and other holistic health workers: We are not allowed to diagnosis illness, etc. But after many years of experience, you can format your opinion and do what is needed. I have the ability to work in conjunction with many physicians who are open-minded about holistic health. Let them make a diagnosis, and go from there.

My pendulum is my goddess pendant which I wear around my neck. I use it more for healing practices. If the dis-ease of the person is unknown, I take my pendulum and hold it over the five points of the pentagram. Depending on the speed and direction of rotation of the pendulum over the five points, I determine what this person needs as far as treatment. As you know, the points represent Air, Fire, Water, Earth, and Spirit. Each of these rule specific systems of the body. When one is overabundant in or lacking in one or more areas, you can figure out what the problem is.

I also use it in my Reiki practice at times. I will hold the pendulum over each of the chakras. If it spins deosil, it means the person is either at normal “rotation” or possibly too fast, depending on the speed of the pendulum’s rotations. If it spins widdershins, this person is depleted in energy in that chakra. Although I am a Reiki Master/Teacher and do not need to do this, I will in cases of severe illness or certain “emergency” works. I have used it over poppits of those I am helping “in absentia” as well.

In both instances, I use it to “divine” the problem so that I may know what to utilize in their therapy. I also use it as any other would for divination. I have held it over parchment with questions written on it. I have held it over poppits in order to find answers to questions such as “Is this person faithful?” or “Is this person pregnant?” You get the idea. This is one of the most accurate forms for my purposes as far as divining for others.

I use the forces and critters of nature on a daily basis. I am not employed at the moment, so I have most of the day to watch and learn. Many times, I have no question to ask, but the powers that be will send signs which I note for future reference. Where I live, it is not uncommon to see eagles soaring on the wind. However, to have one swoop down to me, almost landing on my balcony, was a sign to me. I recently went through a period of major crises. This is when the eagle swooped down. I was literally on the edge of sanity. I am a very strong woman, but for some unknown reason, this time, I felt like I was losing my grip. I could not even bring myself to do Sabbats, Esbats, or other workings. After seeing the eagle, I knew things would be okay eventually. Within one week, three out of five of my crises were over.

I also have a hawk which will land on a tree branch right off from my balcony; we do communicate quite frequently, like old friends. She has also given me many words of wisdom for use at a later time.

I am so closely attuned with nature, it amazes even me. So, I took that to the next level. One day, I was standing in the middle of the woods, a beautiful sunny August day, no clouds, slight breeze. I decided to do a Drawing Down the Sun ritual. I stood there in the star position and did my thing. I also asked the Sun God a question. It was around my daddy’s birthday, who by now, had been on the other side for seven years. Did I ever get an answer! As I stood there, I felt a cold wet sensation on my left fingers. I slowly opened my eyes and turned my head. Was I surprised to see a doe and her fawn. She had touched my hand. They both stood there as I turned my head. Now this is rare for deer. Most of you know they are gone in a flash at the first notice of movement, and especially human scent. There we stood, eye to eye. It seemed like a lifetime that we stood together in the clearing. After a few seconds, though, they scampered on their way. I looked back to the Sun, thanked Him for His answer to my concerns. My ex-husband and his best friend watched in awe from camp. I was only back a few feet from the treeline, so they had a perfect view. My point: I took the signs given to me from the Sun God in the form of the doe and fawn as my answer. Now, why a doe and fawn and not a buck? Maybe due to the nature of my question.

It is not just animals from whom I seek answers. I also look to the winds, the flames of fire, and the trees as well. We all know what it means when the winds blow from a specific direction. The same with the flickering of a candle flame or campfire. You can also find answers from talking to the trees. Depending on which gift is given will determine the answer to your question. An acorn finds its way to you; a symbol of strength, the Mighty Oak. Also birch, willow, ash, all give answers in their own unique ways.

The scrying bowl/mirror and runes, I use for those people “seeking” answers. Similar to tarot readings, the answers can be found through the runes in the same manner. These I use more for mundane problems.

Over all, when I seek spiritual answers, I tend to look to nature and my pendulum first. When looking for answers to mundane questions, I use the other divination methods. Do I take the answers I receive and apply them to the question/problem at hand? The answer is: It depends. I will take the advice given, combined with knowledge of the subject already understood. Then I make my decision. For spiritual answers, yes I tend to act on the signs/omens received, but for mundane topics, no.

Learning To Walk Alone

Learning To Walk Alone

Author: Mistress Ravenfyre

Requests. Requests. Requests.

Is this all the Gods and Goddesses ever hear? Over and over again they listen to us who worship them tell of our woes, tales of sorrow, our despair. In times of sorrow, stress and loneliness, we reach out for them. Calling their names individually, seeking their guidance. Pouring out our trials and tribulations hoping to be heard. Hoping to have some kind intervention. Will there be a miracle to save us from whatever is going on in our lives that is making us call them in this manner? Are we seeking instant gratification instead of taking the long road ourselves?

Do the Gods and Goddesses ever tire of these requests placed upon their shoulders? When they know that they are unable to intervene even in a small way, do they hang their heads and say a silent prayer for us? Do the thoughts run through their heads that certain people only call upon them when they are in trouble but no other time? Knowing that the reason that there will be no help from them is because these people have to learn to help themselves. Just as we parents must let go of our toddlers, letting them experiment. Using trial and error. They too do the same for us.

I am sure that they do tire of all this. Hearing it from thousands upon thousands, day in and day out. This can be wearisome. Not to mention – do these same people give thanks to the Gods and Goddesses when times are good? Or simply when the going gets tough? Hearing the pain in their voices, seeing the tears cascade down their faces. Holding their heads in hands, weeping. No, I am not talking about us, mortals. I am speaking of our Gods and Goddesses. Are we so selfish and wrapped up in our lives and ego that we forget that they too feel these pains from us? They feel our despair. Yet they at times know that it is our job, here on our planet, to solve our problems without their help.

They are giving their help. They are helping us by not helping. Letting us make mistakes, solve these mistakes and pave the road smoother for our travels. Each individual, as they know, has a path to walk. This path may be filled with ruts and holes, but it is the path we must travel. To learn to fill in these ruts is our job. Not the Divine Ones. We need to learn to fill these ruts with concrete. Filling one hole at a time. Once we do this, our travels are not as burdened.

Our Gods and Goddesses, whoever they may be, know that we must learn to solve our own problems. Solving our own problems alone teaches us those life lessons that are needed for us to grow inside. Each time we solve these problems we have laid another new section on our road.

This re-building of our paths seems to be never-ending. Obstacles seem to be placed in front of us. Making us stop, not being able to go around whatever is there. Sometimes we must open our mind’s eye to see the solution. Causing us to bring out our inner strengths and trust. Worry, doubts, fears are those main obstacles that, in any given situation, prohibit us from coming up with a viable solution. Once we are able to overcome the fears, doubts and worries, we are able to free our mind and let the soft inner voice caress us with the answers. Listening to this voice can be all the help that you need. For you have opened up to see and hear the signs that are leading you to the solution. You are now able to walk straighter and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Nobody said that life was easy all the time. If it were easy what would we learn? Would we in fact have our faith?

If we did not have these opportunities to overcome obstacles would we recognize a Divine Intervention? Would we appreciate it? The awe would seem to be gone.

Our Gods and Goddesses may revel in our accomplishments. For they know that even by the tough love that they sometimes send out, we have survived another passage. Instead of tears of sadness, they shed tears of happiness in our advancements.

We will grow each time by learning to be strong, independent and happy individuals.

They see us and smile, knowing that we are doing fine alone most of the time. Our faith guides us. Our intelligence and perseverance to face the hardships are only stepping stones on the way to enlightenment.

You know and feel that their eyes and hearts are never closed to us. They are doing us a favor by allowing us “free will.” Their silent prayers are our answers to our requests. We just have to learn to open our minds and listen for them. They have done more for us by doing nothing.

After the hardships are behind you, please remember to thank your Gods and Goddesses for the blessings that you have in your life. One should do this daily. Whether in time of need or not. Don’t just call upon them in times of sorrow or hard times. Share your happiness with them. Your love and faith should be shown to them continuously by the things you do each day. Use personal words or prayers created just for them. Speak to your chosen Gods and Goddesses as if they are with you, because they are. Choose to do whatever makes you feel closer to them.

While you are alone, look again at the path you are traveling. See where you have been, where you are and where you are going. See how far you have come. See the things that brightened your life.

Finally, raise your eyes and arms to the heaven; say a silent prayer of love and gratitude to your Gods and Goddesses for their safe travels.

Magical Thinking

Magical Thinking

Author: Levi

Many times when people find the Pagan community we hear that children display many unique abilities, unlike their adult counterparts who have been conditioned to our modern mundane world. How do children view the world of seeming superstition and magick? What can we learn from this and apply to our lives as modern Pagans? It is with the tools of skeptical thinking, psychology and a dash of good old fashioned pondering that I would like to explore with you these topics.

First of all children take things for face value; while observing, they soak in every comprehensible detail unknowingly. Yet their actions are based more on what they have been instructed to do, not what they observe independently. If you were to throw a notion or better a devout law into their thought process, and couple that with the respect they feel for the notion-dropper, that child is capable of believing in any possible thing. Think about Hansel and Gretel, Harry Potter, God, the bogeyman, any of the archetypal “make-believe” characters, and you know what I mean. Their level of belief in the characters, and/or magickal thinking, depends greatly on which level of cognitive development the child currently maintains. Aside from that, social learning plays an important role because parents are the children’s first and foremost teachers and the sheer scope of their job is extensive. “Therefore if children are to learn to walk, to speak, and to take care of themselves, adults cannot simply wait for a time driven process of cognitive development to unfold, neither can they wait until a child exhibits desirable behaviors by chance, and then lavishly reinforce the lucky episode.” (Vyse pg. 157) As the years pass from pre-operational thinking, ages 2-7, to concrete operational thinking, ages 7-11, so declines their susceptibility to superstitious beliefs and irrational concepts of reality. Skepticism is an adult characteristic and is acquired, if at all, with age. Which brings us to formal operational thinking, over 11 years of age, which starts to incorporate logical thinking over the more fiction-based, directly-handed-down method of learning. The pre-adolescent begins to put together abstract thoughts and construct its own views on its reality, and other realities. After the pre-adolescent stage the child therefore begins to seemingly take on a more what we would term adult view of reality and reason. Though conformity can be seen as the destroyer of intellectual thinking, it nonetheless steps in around this age. It works as your individual observations weigh less as your understanding of social interaction and acceptance begin to affect more and more of your decisions.

What exactly does all this mean, you may ask. Well all of these facts show that in our increasingly modern world we are slowly conditioning our children to no longer think with imagination and creativity. Nevertheless a starling array of what are termed as old wives tales, warnings and magickal thought still survive till today and are reflections of many preoccupations and/or human fears that have been passed on over time. But it is my thought that we need not view these things in such a light, as it would be much wiser to view them as a part of oral tradition to pass on. It is also interesting to note as a parallel that sometimes science has demonstrated that certain beliefs relating to various plants and foods that hold magical powers do in fact have a basis in reality and have been proven to work. On the other hand people still avoid walking under ladders and knock on wood and cross their fingers in order to guard there luck. With this in mind, of all things this teaches us that it is not only important to instill our traditions into our youth if they are to survive, but to instill these traditions as a way of love, if the world and intelligent humanity is to survive.

My personal experience with the topic of traditions could be viewed I guess in part as a long legacy if you will, which everyone has, if a little thought has been put into it. First off I come from an Irish/Sicilian descent; both cultures have been steeped in magickal and superstitious thinking for millennia. Ever since I was a small child I remember a figure or wall plaque of the triskele in my home. The triskele is a symbol of Medusa surrounded by three legs representing the three magickal nymphs. In essence the story of this symbol dates back to the times and stories of the goddess Diana within ancient Italy. Still today many Sicilian people have this symbol within there home to guard the home from negativity and yes today here in my home, hanging over the front door, is a triskele symbol. Somehow throughout my childhood I have taken on this simple traditional superstition, accepted it and have woven it into the workings of my own life. But this is typically how family traditions or what may be termed superstitions seem to work.

Thrown into this mix I was born and raised in Kansas. Now the Midwest doesn’t seem like it is much of a magical place, but actually it is a place filled with local traditions and legends, mostly belonging to the Native Americans that once lived there and other people known as God fearing Christians! In addition to this I can remember as a child being told by my grandmother to stay close to the house because of the Gypsies who at one time were known to be in the area. But moreover she taught that they would kidnap me and never let me come home. Actually and generally these Gypsies were immigrants that would travel through the area from time to time, but were long gone before my days on the prairie. What I do know now is that this was her way of protecting and keeping me close to home as was also her way of keeping me in bed at night with tales of the bogeyman and his nightly rampaging of the land in search of children! “But don’t worry; he might let you lose when the sun comes, if you’re lucky, ” she would always say, ever so wisely.

Over the years as I grew up and have (unfortunately) gone far beyond my stages of development I have later learned that these fictional creatures have served as a tool for elders throughout time as means of safeguarding children. Even though I still may think of Mr. Bogeyman from time to time, and maybe I’ll pass that one on. I believe that because of these experiences that I have had in the past, my upbringing and the fact that I am the product of two old hippies, this has led me to where I am today. It has led me to my view upon the world as a much more magical place than what the average may think. Witchcraft and the study thereof, is an earth-based religion passed on from our Pagan ancestors that looks to the divine within the aspects of nature, therefore working and following closely with the waxing and waning seasons of the year. It is heavily involved with ecology and moral issues in addition to environmental issues. Witchcraft also teaches us to be open-minded and at the same time to think very wisely of the world, and the issues within it. It also teaches you to value the people around you and your future of this world, remembering not to take everything for granted or at face value, thereby devaluing one’s own self and worth.

It is suggested these traditions are that of false superstitious behavior and are abnormal in nature. Probably no other aspect of psychological behavior is more challenging to understand than that of the abnormal because it is thought of as kind of working hand-in-hand with mental disorders. In everyday life, people often talk about “mental illness, ” a term which echoes of medical asylums and twisted and cruel mental health practitioners, so in turn this view has given a negative view or stigmatism upon the subject of abnormal behavior. In hand this is placing a negative view upon traditions, which may be viewed as abnormal, because they do not fit into the mainstream. The reality is that public understanding of true abnormal behavior is fairly limited and right now we still don’t have all the answers when it comes to understanding and treating disorders. But is abnormal behavior by itself really a disorder? When you think about the word itself all abnormal behavior really is the fact that when someone may act in a manner that does not fit society’s expected view of normal behavior, they are viewed as abnormal. Does the behavior make them mentally ill? I think not, in fact to me this sounds a little reminiscent of what we now term as The Burning Times. Truer things to consider or to ask when deciding if someone is abnormal are: Is this person suffering? Is her or she seemingly maladaptive? Are they irrational or unpredictable? Or are they violating morals or society’s standards? The thought is that when a person displays a couple or more of these conditions then we could label one as abnormal or as having a mental condition with some confidence. I also think this is a good approach and also say as long as the person is not harming him or her self, others, or the surrounding area then there may really not be a problem at all. Maybe the person is very creative or there could be a long list of other possibilities that do not fit under the heading mental illness. When real thought is put into it maybe the real problem lies in the observer of this “abnormal behavior.” It may in fact be touching on some of observer’s own personal fear, bias and or issues on an unspoken or hidden level. Or simply it may be a behavior that the observer has never been exposed to before.

This also works within the realm of Magickal traditions. Because of the mainstream views upon Magickal traditions as irrational in nature it is thereby simple to label someone as irrational. This type of labeling can be very tricky and or harmful, as history has shown us. But again we tend to view irrational behavior within the context of the extreme, which leads us back to that old abnormal behavior. Are my beliefs or traditions abnormal and/or irrational compared to that of a Christian or a Jewish person or are theirs compared to mine? I think not, because as we can see every faith and/or culture around the world has its own set of values, traditions, and thoughts on belief, magick and superstition. It’s how we think that is really important because when we think in a linear way opposed to a more creative way we tend to push our personal views and/or perspectives upon others and in the long run can lead to conflict, maybe even harm. We see these downfalls and issues working everyday within the media alone.

My closing thought on growing up learning and passing on magickal traditions and in effect living one’s life with the belief in these ways is not something to be shunned. The point is no matter how odd society would like to view us and our magical ways of thinking or what labels they would like to put upon the subject, in actuality under some circumstances it can prove to be very rational, therapeutic and/or a combination of the two. Our beliefs in Magick as well as our traditions will continue to flourish as a natural human expression around the globe even in the most technologically advanced societies, and probably as long as there are humans to utilize these tools… The fact is, is it above irrational to bring comfort to the modern human condition? Which the magickal traditions can and do provide. With this in mind learn once again to think with the imagination of a child and create new beautiful realities for our future to come.

Footnotes:
Vyse A. Stuart (Oxford university Press 1997) Believing in Magic: The Psychology of Superstition
Pickering, David (Cassell 1995) Dictionary of Superstitions

 

Solitary Misconceptions

Solitary Misconceptions

by Sylvana SilverWitch

I used to be a solitary many, many years ago now. After I moved to  Seattle — away from my first priestess and  coven — I looked for a new coven, thinking it would be easy to find one. In the  early 70’s, there was not much pagan activity in Seattle. As I became familiar with  the area and got settled, I ran into a number of people who claimed to be  practicing the Craft but were not into anything  like what I had been taught.

One guy I met ended up getting arrested a few years later for  luring young girls into a “coven,” only to  ply them with drugs and take advantage of them. I was very happy that I wasn’t  taken in by his charm and promises of third degree initiation into his  made-up tradition.

I read the submissions for this issue with interest because I always  wonder why one would choose to be a solitary, foregoing the rich tapestry of  learning and practicing with a group. I feel truly blessed to be a part of my coven,  Sylvan Grove, and I wouldn’t trade the last 16 years with the evolving group  for anything. As I read, I noticed a theme of misconceptions about working in  a group and/or being part of a coven. Misconceptions, that is, from my  point of view. Having been in a couple covens for a number of years each as well  as having been a solitary for over 10 years, I feel well-equipped to address  some of these issues.

Seemingly common misconceptions I have come across, and my  perceptions about them are:

1. That you can just find and join a coven.

Finding covens is not easy. It’s not like we advertise in the phone book  and you can simply call us up and come on over. In most cases, you cannot just  join the coven the next day, week or month. It takes training, discipline  and elementary knowledge to begin working with an existing group. Not to  mention social skills, responsibility and basic compatibility with the tradition and  the people.

2. That working alone is somehow better than working in a group.

There is a limit to how much you can learn and grow on your  own. Whether it’s getting a new perspective or opinion or having support in  times of need, We all need other people.

I have found value in working alone, but I can do that and still be part of  a coven. We get together on the new and full moons and the Sabbats,  and sometimes socially. But we don’t all live together. We have separate lives.

Also, I have found nothing to be as wonderfully challenging, stimulating  and rewarding as working magick with a group of intelligent, inquisitive, bold  and progressive people. The coven I am now HPS of has some of the brightest  and most amazing people I have ever come across in the Craft. The energy  we generate when we do magick is palpable. We are a focused and powerful  entity and our magick works well because of that.

3. That groups follow some “Sacred Book of Shadows” that was  passed down from Old Gerald, and that they duplicate the rituals  absolutely religiously.

This is true in very few covens I have been exposed to. More often,  when a written tradition hands down a book of shadows, it is passed from the HP  or HPS to the initiate. Initiates then expand on or change what they do to  suit themselves. Very few covens, in my experience, go by the letter of the  book for every ritual. In fact, most of the people I have done ritual with are  artistic, creative witches and have written and performed some remarkable  rituals. Maybe that’s a comment on who I tend to gravitate to, but it can’t be only  that after all these years.

4. That groups don’t allow for individual personal creativity.

If my coven is any indication, this cannot be true. Andy recently wrote  a paper for the Sylvan Outer Grove class and in it he mentioned the Sylvan  Grove Random Moon Generatorä in which we look at what astrological sign the  sun and moon are in and what that means. With this information and  group consensus about what we want or need at the time, we decide what magick  to do. I know other covens invent rituals as they go — during several years  as the New and Full Moon coordinator for a Northwest pagan organization,  I watched it in action.

5. That they somehow won’t “fit in” to a group.

This is one of the most obvious fallacies I have heard expressed.  Anyone can fit in if they find the right group or coven. It does take some social  skills to work with others successfully, but a coven is a lot like a family.  Everyone does not get along all the time, everyone does not always agree. There  are conflicts from time to time, but we are committed to working things out.

It is important to find common ground in philosophies and styles  of working, but you don’t have to agree with everything or like all things  about someone to work magick successfully with them. If you find people you  like and are compatible with, and you like the tradition, a year should be  long enough to figure out whether you can commit to a long term  working relationship.

Also, people come and go as part of the natural order of things.  Everyone grows at their own rate. You don’t have to dedicate the rest of your life to  a coven. If it doesn’t work for you in the long term, you can always ask to  be released from your obligations.

6. That people are “solitaries” when they aren’t a formal part of a coven,  even  though they work with some group or even just one other person on a  regular basis.

Solitary implies alone. My personal definition of a solitary is a person  who does not work with, or belong to, a group. If you are working  magick regularly with a coven or group, whether or not you are formally dedicated  to the group, in my opinion you are not a solitary.

To find an appropriate coven or group, you must be persistent. Keep  your eyes and ears open. Go to whatever public rituals you can attend.  Take classes on different traditions if they are available in your area; if not,  read books on different traditions to find what you most resonate with. My coven only advertises  the Outer Grove class in one issue of the paper per year and there is a  deadline to get into the class.

When you do find a group you are interested in, ask if you may  attend something that might be appropriate. If you get invited to a ritual, ask what  you can bring or contribute. Make yourself useful, help out where and when  you can. Be on time. Be good listener. Keep an open mind. Remember, you are  asking to become a student — don’t come across as if you already know it all.  Be open to letting others get to know you and let your interest be known. If  in doubt, ask!

In the Sylvan tradition, you must ask many times before you are invited to  be part of the inner circle. This assures us that you are serious and  committed; that’s what we are looking for.

Good luck finding a coven, if you want to be a part of one. If you do  join one, you will find the group magickal experience to be profoundly  rewarding, fascinating and an opportunity for personal and spiritual growth  beyond compare. Blessed be.

Confessions of a Solitary

Confessions of a Solitary

by Lisa (Wild Rose) Harris

I contemplated the full moon from my position under the “Triple  Goddess” tree. The mountains seemed to glow from the magick of her light. The  sounds of the night filled the air: the river’s gentle yet powerful sound  enveloping the canyon, the haunting sounds of a great horned owl and coyotes  singing from the ridge. The tree in the pasture we had chosen for our site was like  no other I had ever seen. She was composed of three trunks of separate trees  intertwined, which over the years had grown together to become one, rather  than three, trees. I could feel her energy, and anytime I needed to meditate,  contemplate or ground myself, I would go to her. Yes, the time and place was  right, and there was true magick in the air.

The chilly autumn air of the Sierra Nevada foothills penetrated every  part of my body, yet I did not shiver. I looked at my companion, my friend Pauline,  who was the only other practitioner of the Craft I knew of in our small  mountain town. She was bursting at the seams with energy. We shed our robes,  letting them fall to the ground. Neither one of us made a habit of public nudity, yet  we wanted to pledge ourselves to the Goddess, naked and unashamed, as we  had come into this world. The pasture was well out of view of the road and  the few houses that were around. That Samhain midnight, under the full  moon, with the animals as witness, was the night I pledged myself to the  Goddess and to the Craft.

Seven years later, I am still a solitary. I have met friends, teachers  and organizations along the way, but none that I could dedicate myself to with  “perfect love and perfect trust.” One  self-proclaimed “teacher” from New York, whom I met through the same  pagan pen-pal listing where I found my friend Pauline, was obviously interested in  using the Craft to manipulate young, innocent pagans into sexual situations,  long distance if need be.

When I broke off contact, after catching on what this guy was about, I  was deluged with creepy dreams, ravens at my back door and other  phenomena that I could only interpret as psychic attack.  I did some research on protection spells. Finding nothing I  liked, I created one of my own. The object I made and buried  near my front door was so strongly charged that the energy it radiated caused  a buzzing in my hands that reached up through my arms and into my chest.  The words I spoke came from a place somewhere inside myself I was not  familiar with. They were powerful and they actually rhymed (which is surprising  since I have no poetic talent whatsoever).

Two weeks later, I received a letter from him asking for help. He told  me that he was in jail after being lured into a sting operation and arrested  because of his religion and his very high-profile promotion of the Craft. He told me  that all of the pagan leaders had “turned  their backs on him.” I knew that his own energy had turned on him and brought him to justice for what I suspect  was some sort of sex-related crime. I burned the letter.

My first experience with magick was swift and strong. I vowed never to  misuse power, because when bad energy turns back the power is amplified. I  was lucky on two counts: first, that I had recognized the psychic attack,  because I had experienced psychic phenomenon ever since I was a child, and  second, that I realized there are those who would manipulate others in the  name of their god in any religious movement, not just the Craft. I continued on  my path, a bit wiser than I was before.

As I have continued, the magick I have created on my own has been  so powerful that it has frightened me on occasion. Knowing the power that  one can raise and direct has made me ever vigilant about only doing magick for  the right reasons. I won’t even send healing energy to someone with out their  explicit permission. I also teach my daughter that magick should  not be done for selfish reasons, as what we set in  motion tends to take on a life of its own. Karma works.

There have been times when I’ve wished that I could become part of  a coven and do great magickal and celebratory works with others. There  are other times when I am grateful that I have chosen a path that frees me of  hierarchy and dogma. To me, the thought of earning degrees and having  someone else “bestow titles” on me is  too much like the Christian faith I was raised in. I entered the Craft as a spiritual  quest, a way to connect with something that I understood, rather than trying to fit  into someone else’s religion or dogma. My beliefs would put me at odds with  some traditions. Some people may want and need a specific structure and  system; I do not do well in such a system. I can’t  bring myself to profess to believe in something  unless I honestly believe and agree with every fiber of  my being. That’s difficult for me to do in anything organized.

Another difficulty I have with working groups is just that, that  they’re groups. My personal philosophy on paganism is that most “witches” were  solitaries, doing kitchen magick and healing. I believe that this magickal  work and connection with the natural world was an everyday way of life, and  that witches got together mainly for seasonal festivals and rites of passage. I tend  to agree with the theory that coven structure, as we know it, did not enter  into the picture until later, during the Inquisition and the like. Since none of  us were there at the time, we can only do our best to follow the path as we see it.

Now that I have a family and want a spiritual community for my daughter, I’ve addressed the group aspect of the  Craft differently. We belong to a Unitarian Universalist Church in Tacoma, which  has no dogma, only basic principles that I can wholeheartedly support, and  which give my daughter the freedom to find her own path. When I arrived at  the church, I immediately asked who ran their Covenant of Unitarian  Universalist Pagans (CUUPS) chapter. “Where are  your pagans?” I asked the board president. He  explained to me that the group had gone defunct  and that there wasn’t anyone who had the energy to reinvent  the group.

I couldn’t abide by the idea of a Unitarian church without a strong  pagan presence. Earth-centered spirituality is one of the many traditions  the church’s practices are based on. The first thing I did was to write an article  responding to a sermon given by the staunch humanist minister who  was serving at that time. It was a pagan view on humanism, which challenged the  congregation to find magick and sacredness in their lives, rather than just  intellectual stimulation.

Once I stirred the pagan political cauldron, I found myself planning a  winter solstice service, and soon people began saying that my energy was just  what was needed to get things going again. One day I noticed that I was being  introduced to new members as the “chief pagan,” and I was being  referred to as “priestess.” I now facilitate  the church’s Earth Centered Spirituality Group, which leaves  me in the odd position of being a solitary leading a group.We  get together to study and celebrate seasonal festivals and rites of passage, as  I believe our ancestors did. We also reach out to the congregation and  community to teach them about the wheel of the year and to dispel myths and  propaganda. I didn’t set out to lead a group; it just happened.

My solitary work has taken a back seat, now that I spend so much  time and energy facilitating meetings and rituals. Most of my personal practice  involves cleansing, purifying and healing, while the seasonal celebrations  seem to fall in with the group. I also recently began networking with other groups  in  the area. Since I have been thrust into a position of leadership and most of  my “knowledge” and practice comes from books and personal experience, I  feel that it is important to go out and learn from others. I was afraid that I  didn’t have the right to lead a circle or study group. What I found in the  community was wonderful people to celebrate with, and a feeling of belonging. I also  found the rituals I wrote and organized weren’t any different than  anyone else’s. I watched other groups spill, trip,  forget words, read from cards and make the most of  it just like we do. It didn’t hurt the rituals; it made them real.  The Goddess loves a good laugh.

My practices have changed over the years. Rather than chanting under  the Triple Goddess tree as a rural pagan, I find myself working indoors as a  Northwest city pagan. I do healing work for family and close friends, honor the  seasonal cycles with a family altar in the living room and occasionally find  time for divination. Much of my time is spent at my computer researching and  writing our next ritual. Since I never seem to be able to find a ritual from written  sources I like, I write them myself.

For me, working ritual that I have created myself or with the help of  others gives me more of a sense of connection than reciting something from  a book. My wonderful, supportive husband, who is just now embracing  his inner pagan, likes to tease me by calling me “Hemingway” when I write. I  decided a long time ago that I am looking forward to becoming a very eccentric  old woman, and so as not to shock anyone, I’m starting early. I like to write  ritual, articles and homilies naked while drinking a glass of Merlot.

And so the wheel turns. It begins under a tree in the mountains and  is continued at a keyboard in the city. Some things stay the same. I still ritually  purify the house after an illness or argument. I still infuse candles with  herbs, oils and energy to use in healing or personal and spiritual growth. Most of all,  I try make spirituality a part of my day-to-day life, not just something I do at  the full moon or at a Sabbat.

Although part of me still hopes to someday meet that group of people  with whom I fit perfectly, I guess I have the best of both worlds, my own  personal relationship with the Goddess and wonderful new friends to celebrate with.  As I close this article, I raise my glass to the goddesses and gods  everywhere, and to those who explore, celebrate  and honor them in whatever way they see fit. So may it be.

6 Quick Energy Tips for Busy People

6 Quick Energy Tips for Busy People

When energy levels dip, try these simple tips to recharge your  batteries. They’re quick, easy and will help you breeze through the most hectic  day!
  1. Dry-brush your body before you step into the shower. This  invigorates skin and sloughs off dead cells. Use a citrus-infused body wash. You  will hum your way through the morning.
  2. Raise a (whole wheat) toast to breakfast! It gives you  fiber, which regulates digestion and keeps energy levels up. Also, try to  combine proteins and carbs for breakfast. Oatmeal, egg and fruit will get your  engine chugging merrily.
  3. Keep rosemary essential oil handy. It’s one of the most  energizing oils. If you sprinkle a few drops of it on a clean handkerchief and  take a few deep breaths, you’ll feel instantly recharged.
  4. Sip green or white tea instead of coffee. They are low in  caffeine, detoxify the body and leave you feeling genuinely refreshed.
  5. Craving carbs? Go ahead and enjoy them, but make sure you  balance them with something that’s good for you. So, have your pasta, but do  order a garden salad alongside.
  6. Try this simple exercise while sitting at your desk: Put  your forearms on the table and rest your forehead on your hands. Breathe out  fully. Breathe in again, easily, gently lifting up your head. Now exhale,  tucking your chin and easing yourself back to arms on forehead. Repeat till you  start feeling revitalized.

 

Gothic Gardening

Gothic Gardening

A Garden as Black as Your Cloak!

by mAlice

Need an idea for your garden? Don’t want the same old pansies and marigolds this year? Here’s some ideas for making your garden a more gothic place…

Gardening for the Fey

Let’s get one thing straight here: Fairies are not cute. Shakespeare made them seem cute, and Disney finished off the job (sorry, Heather, but it’s true). The fey are capricious, mischievous, arrogant, menacing and sometimes downright evil and dangerous to humans. The fey include elves, fairies, gnomes, trolls, goblins and a host of other supernatural beings who are somewhere “between men and angels.” Almost all of these beings have a very close connection to nature.

Rosemary: Sicilians thought that this was a favorite plant of the fairies and that young fairies would take the form of snakes and lie amongst the branches, and the baby fairies would sleep in the flowers.

Ragwort: Also known as St. John’s wort, this plant has a strong connection with the fey. In Ireland, it’s called fairy’s horse, since supposedly fairies would ride through the air on it. Leprechauns are supposed to have buried their treasure underneath the roots of this plant. And on the Isle of Man, there is the belief that if you stepped upon a ragwort plant on St. John’s Eve (Midsummer Eve) after sunset, a fairy horse would spring up out of the earth and carry you off until sunrise, at which time it would leave you wherever you happened to be.

Elder: Almost all trees are home to some sort of elven kind, including elm, oak, willow, yew, fir, holly and so on. However, elder trees have the highest elf population. The Elder Mother who dwells within the tree is very protective of her domain, and it is taboo to cut part of the tree without asking her permission first. Stories tell of the Elder Mother tormenting children who were in cradles of elderwood (which had not been asked for) by pulling them by the legs. The chant for asking permission is:

“Old Woman, Old Woman, Give me some of your wood And when I am dead I’ll give you some of mine.”

And if you stand under an elder tree at midnight on Midsummer Eve in Denmark, you will see Toly, the King of the Elves, go by.

Oak: In Germany, this is the fairies’ favorite dwelling place, and they are especially fond of dancing around it.

Barley: A common grain, but one of the main foods of the fairy. Fairies would often borrow oatmeal from storehouses and return a double measure of barley as repayment.

Silverweed: Also known as silver cinquefoil, the roots of this plant were another of the fairies’ favorite foods, which they called brisgein. However, it likes to grow in marshy areas, so cultivating it might be a problem.

Heather: This is another of the fairies’ favorite foods.

Wild thyme: Another herb that was thought to be home to fairies, since they liked the aromatic flowers and spent their leisure time among them. If you picked the flowers from a patch of wild thyme where the little folk did live and placed them on your eyes, you would be able to see the fey.

Cowslip: This flower is also known as fairy cups in Lincolnshire and was often a hiding place for frightened fairies. At dawn, as the light shines on the dewdrops, the fairies “hang a pearl in every cowslip’s ear.”

Ferns: This plant was guarded by Oberon on Midsummer Night, since this is when the fern would flower – a beautiful sapphire blue – and Oberon wanted to prevent mortals from obtaining the fern seed. If you managed to collect it despite him, you would be under the protection of spirits, and while you carried the seed it would render you invisible.

Clover: Finding a four-leaved clover grants you a wish and gives you the power to see the fairies dancing in their fairy rings. This is also the main ingredient of fairy ointment, which gives you the power to penetrate the fairies’ glamour and see them as they truly are. Be careful, though: If you unknowingly carry a four-leaved clover (in a bundle of grass), the fairies have the power to enchant you.

Foxglove: The flowers serve as petticoats for the fairies, and in Ireland they serve as fairies’ gloves. Also, flowers are used as thimbles when fairies mend their clothing.

Furze bushes: The cobwebs collected on their branches are used to make fairies’ mantles.

Stichwort: In Devonshire, people do not pick this for fear they be “pixy led.” Held in special honor by fairies.

Strawberries: In Bavaria, fairies are very fond of strawberries and peasants will tie a basket of strawberries between cows’ horns to assure an abundance of milk.

Rose: In Germany and Scandinavia, this plant is under special protection of dwarfs and elves, both who are ruled by King Laurin, Lord of the Rose Garden.

Cabbage stalks: Also serve as transportation for fairies, who ride these like horses.

Cuscuta Epithymum: In Jersey, known as “fairies’ hair.”

Peziza Coccinea: Used for fairies’ hats.

Elecampane: In Denmark, this is known as “elf-dock.”

Toadstools: These are thought to be “stylized pixy stools” and in the north of Wales are called “fairy tables.”

Pyrus Japonica: Used as kindling for fairy fires.

Tulips: Flowers are used as cradles for fairy children.

Wood anemone: Shelters fairies in wet weather.

Wood sorrel: From Wales, its white flowers are known as “fairy bells” and are used to summon fairies to their reveries.

Mallow: The fruit of this plant is called “fairy cheeses” in the North of England.

Nightwort: Evil elves prepare poison in this plant. It is also one of the sacred plants of the Dutch Alven, along with elf-leaf, which they watered and strengthened against the coming day. The Alven would sicken or kill people or cattle that touched the plants.

Globe flower: Also called the “troll flower.”

Hawthorn: In Brittany and Ireland, also called “fairy thorn,” this tree is the trysting place of fairies. To pick a branch or leaf from a hawthorn is to court the displeasure of the fairies.

Wormwood: This is “Dian’s bud,” which Oberon used to remove the enchantment from Titania. Wormwood is also protection against the Rusalky of Russia, who will tickle you to death if they find you in the woods without some of this in your pockets.

Flax: The flowers are not only protection against sorcery but also are beloved of Queen Hulda, who leads a procession through the valley between Kroppbuhl and Unterlassen while the flax is blooming. Fairy-flax is used by the fairies to weave all their linen. Poludnitsa, the Noon Woman, interrogates women she finds in the flax fields at noon, to make sure they know how to cultivate and spin flax. If they answer incorrectly, she kills them.

To prepare a sleeping place for Queen Titania, you should plant these flowers:

“Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows, Quite over-canopied with lush woodbine, With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine, There sleeps Titania sometime of the night Lull’d in these flowers with dances and delight.”

Any fruit out of season or remaining after the harvest is the property of the fairies. In the West of England, strays are left to assure fairy goodwill. Fairies, like witches, don’t like yellow flowers and will go out of their way to avoid them.

Many thanks to my gothic garden researcher, Anagram…..

Ritual Death: The Adonis Garden

Adonis was worshipped as a god of vegetation, or at least a god associated with vegetation, in the Hellenic world. (I won’t discuss the radically differing viewpoints on this.) Adonis was born of Myrrha, the myrrh tree, seduced both Persephone and Aphrodite with his androgynous charm and died young, killed by his ineptitude in a boar hunt, and his body was found in a bed of lettuce. Some tales even have Aphrodite hiding him in that bed of lettuce.

Devotees of his cult, mostly concubines and courtesans, would grow on their rooftops a garden with fast-sprouting plants in baskets and small pots, which surrounded a statue of the god. The plants were always lettuce, barley, wheat and fennel. The rites of Adonia were performed in the middle of the summer, during the time when the sun was at its hottest, so these plants quickly sent up tender young shoots and just as quickly withered in the heat from the sun. They were allowed to grow for only eight days, after which the dry, withering sprouts were throw into the sea, along with an image of the god.

Lettuce, in particular, seems to have a lot of associations with death and sterility in the minds of the Greeks. Of course, it was in a lettuce bed where Adonis met his fate. The Greeks considered lettuce a “wet” plant, and this wet nature suggested to them bogs and decaying corpses. In fact, in one of his comedies, Euboulos wrote, “Lettuce is a food for corpses.”

The Somber Garden

This is the original theme that gave me the idea for Gothic Gardening and will obviously discuss black (or near-black, since in nature black is a fairly rare color) plants. It seems that about once a month on rec.gardens someone asks the question “Are there any black flowers I can grow?” This list is not all-inclusive, but it’s as complete as possible.

Note: I’ve included many plants in this list that I have no earthly idea of where to find them.

Flowers

Roses: I’m sorry to say, there’s just no such thing as a black rose. I could probably write an entire column on near-black roses alone, since this seems to be the black flower everyone wants (but not me… I’d rather have true-black tulips). “Taboo” claims to be the nearest yet, but I found the flowers to be fairly red. The Taboo rose came from Germany, which does earn it some goth points, but it’s still not dark enough for me. In Germany, it’s known as Barkarole. The experts on rec.gardens.roses recently discussed the question of black roses, and the list of cultivars I have is derived mainly from them. I haven’t personally seen many of these roses, so I can’t vouch for just how dark they are, and I am most certainly not a rose expert….

(Note: Many people have e-mailed me to tell me many of these roses are nowhere near black. Caveat emptor.)

  • “Ink Spots”: supposed to be slightly darker than “Taboo” and also supposed to be better able to withstand heat. One description was “sooty black over fiery red.”
  • “Ingrid Bergman”: dark red rose, highly recommended.
  • “Oklahoma”: dark red buds, a dark, purplish red bloom, hybrid tea rose, also highly recommended.
  • “Sympathie”: a climbing rose with dark red buds.
  • “Black Jade”: a miniature rose that is dark red, reportedly about the same shade as “Ink Spots.”
  • “Brian Donne”: another miniature, slightly lighter than “Black Jade.”
  • “Love’s Promise”: a black/red rose with a raspberry scent.
  • “Tuscany” and “Tuscany Superb”: antique roses, deep red with blackish overtones and lots of fragrance.
  • “The Squire”: a David Austin rose with near-black buds and dark red blooms.
  • “Souvenir du Dr. Jamain”: a Hybrid Perpetual, deep burgundy, with some purple.
  • “Nuits de Young”: a purple-black moss rose.
  • “The Prince”: a dark red-purple English rose.
  • “Papa Meilland”: dark red-black in colder climates.
  • “Kentucky Derby”: similar to Papa Meilland.
  • “Onyx”: a Hybrid Tea, dark red-black.
  • “Black Tea”: not really black, but brown.
  • “Deep Secret”: red-black buds, dark red flower, fragrant.
  • “Black Lady”: again, near-black buds and dark red blooms.
  • “Cardinal de Richelieu”: a dark purple Gallica rose.
  • “Deuil de Paul Fontaine”: a dusky purple-red moss rose. Goth points for the name – it translates to “mourning for Paul Fontaine.”

Hollyhocks: Found labeled as Althaea rosea nigra, A. nigra or “The Watchman,” these are single saucer-shaped blooms that are a deep, chocolate maroon. This was grown by Thomas Jefferson. I wonder if he was secretly a goth….

Snapdragon: The “Black Prince” cultivar has foliage that is dark green with dark reddish maroon overlay. When it flowers, the blooms are very dark, velvety crimson.

Gladiolus: Cultivars I’ve seen listed that all seem to be dark black-red, rather than a true black, are “Morocco,” “Black Stallion,” “Black Swan,” and “Bewitched.”

Canna lily: The “Black Knight” canna lily doesn’t look that dark to me. It’s supposed to be deep red with burgundy foliage.

Sunflowers: There isn’t any such thing as a black sunflower, but there are several options for dark colored ones… which are a dramatic change from the big, bright yellow ones people are used to. Deep-hued “Evening Sun” sunflowers have deep, rich, earthen tones (mahogany-red, rusty bronze, deep gold, burgundy and bicolored combinations all with dark center disks). Two other dark cultivars I’ve seen are “Floristan” and “Velvet Queen.”

Salvia: Andean Silverleaf or Peruvian Sage, Salvia discolor, has spikes of dark purple-black flowers and silvery foliage. The scent is a combination of fruit, eucalyptus and resin.

Tulips: “Queen of Night” dwarf tulips are a deep velvety maroon, as is “Black Diamond.” Supposedly, when tulip breeding was an art several centuries ago, there were black tulips. This is the closest I’ve seen commercially available. There’s also a “Black” Parrot tulip, which is deep purple and has “whipped” petals, and a “Black Hero” double tulip, which is derived from “Queen of Night” and has flowers resembling a peony. I’ve also seen a listing for the “Black Swan Tulip,” Tulipa gesneriana, but I don’t know how black it is, or if you can buy it.

Bachelor’s Buttons: Also know as cornflowers, there is a deep maroon variety, known as “Black Ball” or “Black Boy.”

Columbine: Aquilegia vulgaris has a deep maroon and white spurred variety, which is known as “Magpie” or “William Guiness.” A. atrata is the black columbine and has purple-black flowers. A. viridiflora has jade green and black flowers.

Cosmos: The chocolate cosmos has burgundy-black flowers and a slight chocolate scent.

Kangaroo paws: This flower is native to Australia. The black kangaroo paw has flowers and stems that are covered by black hairs – the green barely peeks through.

Fritillaria: F. camschatcensis, also known as the black rice root lily, black lily, chocolate lily, or Black Sarana, has bell-like flowers that are ruby-black. F. davisii has deep-green bell flowers that are heavily tessellated with purplish-brown so they appear black. F. persica has spikes of very dark plum flowers.

Daylilies: The darkest daylily cultivar I’ve seen is “Smoking Gun,” which is a maroon-brown-black color with yellow star points. There are lots deep red-black and purple-black daylilies, including “Eleventh Hour,” “Night Raider,” “Cairo Night,” “Vintage Bordeaux,” “Dominic,” “Ed Murray,” “Khans Knight,” “Midnight Magic,” “Night Wings,” “Super Babe” and “Troubled Waters.”

Scabiosa: Also known as the pincushion flower, the “Satchmo” variety is a deep maroon. These are excellent cut flowers.

Hyacinth: “Distinction” isn’t that close to black but is deep cherry with a maroonish-black stripe down the center of each petal. Simply gorgeous.

Dianthus: Dianthus includes pinks, carnations and sweet william. Dianthus nigricans has very dark flowers, and there is a cultivar known as “King of Black,” which I haven’t seen, but I suspect is dark. There is also a cultivar that is deep purple-black with white edging, which I’ve seen named “Velvet and Lace” or “Black and White Minstrel.” I’ve seen mention of a black carnation, but the closest I’ve found is a deep crimson variety, “Douglas Phu.” Sweet william, Dianthus barbatus, has a variety called “Sooty,” which is near black and has green-black leaves.

Dahlia: The pompom form of this flower has several deep purple-black varieties available, including “Glenplace,” “Moorplace,” and “Black Tuber.”

Nemophilia: This is a very short plant with penny sized blooms. “Penny Black” has flowers black flowers edged with white, and “Freckles” has white flowers covered with tiny black spots.

Poppy: The peony-flowered poppy has a black cultivar, sometimes listed as “Black Cloud.” These are a deep purple-black.

Iris: Unlike other flowers, black varieties seem to plentiful in the iris family. Bearded iris varieties include “Superstition,” “Study in Black,” “Licorice Stick,” “Swazi Princess,” “Night Ruler,” “Hello Darkness,” “Paint It Black,” “Night Owl,” “Black Tie Affair,” and “Before the Storm.” There’s the “Black Gamecock” Louisiana iris. And the Chinese iris, Iris chrysographes, has a black, non-frilly flower.

Butterfly Bush: The “Black Knight” cultivar has blue-black flowers.

Hellebores: Hellebores are one of those flowers that have a range of colors from white to near-black. They are prized by many because they are in bloom in late winter, when not much else is growing, let alone blooming. The H. orientalis hybrid “Atrorubens” is fairly easy to find and has plum colored flowers. However, there are blacker varieties out there; they’re just more difficult to find. Some blackish-purple strains I’ve seen listed include “Alberich,” “Andromeda,” “Ballard’s Black,” “Black Knight,” “Castor,” “Pollux” and “Sorcerer.” “Nigricans” is indigo blue-black, and “Philip Ballard” is a very dark blue-black. I’ve also seen some stunning pictures of H. torquatus, which grows wild in (the former) Yugoslavia. The flower color is variable, with dark plum, violet-black, grey (!), and green inside/black outside all seen. This is often the species used to hybridize H. orientalis to get the darker colored flowers.

Geraneum: Geraneum phaeum has very dark purple flowers. It was once known as Mourning Widow because its flowers are so dark.

Sweet Peas: Grown for the blooms, not a vegetable. “Pageantry” is a beautiful deep red-purple. Sweet peas are found most commonly in mixes, though, and almost all the mixes will include a deep maroon or deep purple one.

Primrose: There are very deep purple primroses that look almost black available at most nurseries. There is also a gold-laced primrose, “Black and Gold,” which has a yellow eye at the center of the flower, nearly black petals and a rim of yellow on each petal (the “lacing”). There are show auriculas that have white centers and black petals, although the color of the petals is obscured by either a grey-green or green color, so that there’s only a ring of black around the center.

Heather: The darkest colored heather I’ve seen mentioned is a cultivar of Erica cinerea known as “Velvet Night.” The blooms are supposed to be purple-black.

Rudbeckia: An unusual daisy, “Green Wizard” has only green sepals (no petals), and a prominent black cone. Very odd.

Viola or pansy: Violas and pansies are not the same flowers but are often listed interchangeably. The black pansy really looks black, although you can see the slightest hint or purple around the yellow eye. I’ve seen it listed as “Bowles Black,” “Black Prince,” “Molly Sanderson,” and “Black Magic.”

The Gothic Gardening “Black Thumb” award goes to Clive Lundquist for sending all of the following suggestions for black flowers:

  • Arum conophalloides var. caudatum: Gorgeous, deep purplish black arum.
  • Eminium rauwolfii: As above but very black. Needs dryness.
  • Trillium sessile: Commoner, blacky/purplish “flower.”
  • Calochortus nigrescens: Black hairy flowers but needs warmth and likes it dry in winter.
  • Roscoea scillifolia: Very black, very small, short-lived flowers
  • Gladiolus atroviolaceus: Needs dry summer, black flowers in spring.
  • Arisaema ringens / triphyllum: Black, gorgeously gothy.
  • A. speciosum / griffithii: Brownish but still very gothy aroids.
  • Bellevalia pycnantha: Deep browny-black grape hyacinth.
  • Muscari commutatum: As above.
  • Iris nicolai: Black and white flowers in midwinter (often called I. rosenbachiana black and white).

Ornamentals

Clover: Black four-leaf clover, Trifolium repens “Purpurascens,” is actually chocolate brown with light green edges.

Tiarella: False Miterwort has a new cultivar known as “Inkblot,” which has glossy leaves that are green on the edges, but blackish in the center. It has light pink flowers in the spring (cut ’em off!).

Heuchera: The “Pewter Moon” variety of this plant has purplish black leaves with a silver gloss.

Pussy willow: The black pussy willow comes from Japan. The catkins are so dark that they appear black against the red twigs.

Black Mondo Grass: Ophiopogon planiscapus “Nigrescens” is not actually a grass (it’s really a member of the lily family). It has purple-black leaves and small pink flowers that are followed by glossy black berries.

Bamboo: Phylostachys nigra has pitch black stems. Warning: Bamboo is usually invasive. Grow it in a pot.

Ornamental Sweet Potato: Ipomoea batatas “Blackie” has black leaves and stems.

Taro: The “Jet Black” ornamental taro is actually deep burgundy.

Fountain grass: Black fountain grass, Pennisetum alope “Moudry,” has ribbon foliage with ebony seed plumes. P. staceum “Rubrum” has bronze-purple leaves and flower spikes.

Smoke Bush: The “Royal Purple” cultivar has foliage that opens red but matures to a deep purple. The flowers are feathery purple plumes.

Carpet Bugle: Ajuga “Royalty” has midnight purple leaves. This is used as a ground cover and can be walked on!

Ornamental Pepper: Capsicum annuum “Black Prince” has black-purple foliage. The young fruit is red but turns black as it matures.

Durum (ornamental wheat): “Black Bearded” durum has cream-colored heads that splay out into 4- to 6-inch stiff bristles, which turn dark black when mature. “Black Eagle” has glumes that are partially black and continue onto the awns.

Broomcorn (sorghum): Two varieties are of interest: “Black Kafir” has black club-shaped heads. “Black Amber” has amber seeds covered with a shiny black coating.

Oats: Yet another ornamental grain, the “French Black” cultivar has jet black heads. All of the ornamental grains work well for unusual flower arrangements.

Vegetables

Everyone knows eggplants are nearly black, but here are a few unusual black vegetables….

Tomato: “Black Krim,” “Black Prince” and “Southern Nights” are all varieties that produce black tomatoes, which are really a dark brown-red or garnet. All of these varieties are heirlooms from Russia. The reason these tomatoes are black is that they retain their green pigment even as they develop the red pigment… other tomatoes lose the green.

Lettuce: The “Ibis Hybrid” variety is such a dark red that it appears black. Another “greens” alternative is Tatsoi, which is an oriental green with black-green spoon shaped leaves.

Bell pepper: There are chocolate peppers, which are really dark brown, but closer to black is the “Purple Beauty” cultivar, which as you may have guessed is very dark purple.

Black Spanish radish: One of the oldest of heirloom vegetables, black Spanish radish has been cultivated since the sixteenth century. The skin of the roots is deep, deep, purple, almost black, with white flesh. Of course, you can’t see the roots while it’s growing, but you could always prepare a gothic salad of black lettuce, black tomato, black bell pepper and black radish.

Black Aztec corn: A sweet corn that should be eaten when the kernels are white but will turn black when fully mature. This was apparently the first corn noted by the Europeans in 1493.

Basil: This is an herb, not a vegetable. The “Dark Opal” variety has very dark purple leaves. It is excellent for flavoring vinegars and oils.

Snap Beans: The “Royal Burgundy” or “Purple Tepee” varieties have beans that are almost black – but unfortunately turn green when cooked.

Fruit: This is a fairly common province of black in nature, including black cherries, black raspberries, blackberries and black plums. These are all really common, so look them up yourself.

The Night Garden

Since you gothy types rarely seen the light of day, what good does a garden do you? Well, here is the answer: a garden that consists of night-fragrant or night-blooming plants. Of course, you can’t really see that black garden at night. The key color here is white. White glows in moonlight. And there are several varieties of plants that bloom exclusively at night, or whose flowers may be open during the day but don’t release their scent until the evening.

Night-Flowering Plants

Evening primrose: “These soft-scented flowers have four satiny heart-shaped petals that come together forming 2-inch open cups with frilly long stamens. When they open in the evening, the blossoms are a soft clear white that gradually fades into pink as the flowers mature. Their luscious scent reminds us of a cross between honeysuckle and lemon custard. The flowers open every evening throughout summer until first frost.”

Sweet-scented nicotiana: These nicotianas (yes, that’s the tobacco plant) have creamy-white tubular flowers borne in graceful sprays on softly draping branches. The 2- to 3-inch trumpet-shaped blossoms are closed in the daytime, but in the late afternoon and evening they fill the air with a jasmine-like scent.

Moonflowers: These 6-inch trumpet flowers unfurl in slow motion every night just at sunset. Pure white with faint green tracings, the blossoms are very fragrant all evening. By noon, the flowers dwindle and close and are barely seen in the dense foliage.

“Midnight Candy” night phlox: “These tidy upright plants bear umbrella-like clusters of small, delicate phlox-like flowers. The insides of the petals are pure white, and the outsides are a satiny maroon with a hint of white where petals overlap. During the day, the flowers are tightly closed, just showing a hint of color. As dusk comes on, there is a magic moment when they open like a display of little firework stars, releasing a delicious almond/ honey/vanilla-like fragrance that wafts throughout the garden.”

Angel’s Trumpet: Datura meteloides has 6-inch white trumpet flowers that open at night and remain open well into the following day. This flower is a favorite subject of Georgia O’Keefe. This was also used by California Indians as a narcotic for the youth to seek their visions and be initiated into society. Warning: poisonous. Don’t eat it to get a high.

Evening stock: Many-branched 1½-foot plants have grey-green leaves and 1-inch star-shaped flowers of very pale violet. The blooms are closed tightly all day but open at dusk to pour out a fantastic spicy fragrance.

Nottingham catchfly, night-flowering catchfly and white campion: These are all members of the genus Silene, which also has several day-blooming members. These plants have sticky stems, hence the name “catchfly.” The odor of the Nottingham catchfly is described as sweet and reminiscent of hyacinths, and its flowers open on three successive nights before withering.

Bouncing Bet (also known as soapwort): With either pink or white blossoms, this plant fills the night with sweet perfume. Also used to make detergent – hence the soapwort moniker.

Four o’Clocks: In late afternoon, Mirabilis jalapa’s 2-inch trumpet-shaped flowers unfurl, releasing a rich jasmine-like perfume. These plants, with blooms in pink, rose, white, orange and yellow, are very easy to grow and fast growing. They’re also known as “Marvel of Peru.”

August lily (fragrant Hosta): The leaves are about six inches long and four inches wide, with eight pairs of impressed veins. The white, waxy, trumpet-shaped flowers appear on 30-inch scapes, and each is five inches long and three inches wide. The scent is of pure honey.

Vesper iris: A native of Mongolia, the sweetly fragrant flowers are a dull greenish white spotted with brownish purple or reddish purple with white splotches. Like many iris blossoms, they become spirally twisted after flowering.

There are also about 50 different cultivars of daylilies that bloom at night. Some of my favorites are called “After the Fall” (tangerine and copper blend with yellow halo), “Jewel of Hearts” (dark red flowers with a red-black center), “Moon Frolic” (near white), “Toltec Sundial” (fragrant sunshine yellow) and “Witches Dance” (dark red with a green throat).

Night-Fragrant Plants

Many plants will have flowers open during the day, but they don’t release their scent until evening.

Perfumed fairy lily: Chlidanthus fragrans has a rich lily fragrance at night. Three or four yellow, funnel-shaped flowers are carried on stems up to a foot high.

Night gladiolus: Gladiolus tristus has creamy yellow blossoms that are intensely fragrant at night with a spicy-sweet perfume, and the unusual leaves look like a pinwheel cut in half.

Tuberose: Victorians loved this sweet and heady (almost overpowering) fragrance. The flowers are waxy white and two inches long.

Carolina jessamine (also known as evening trumpet flower): The evergreen leaves surround sweetly fragrant, bell-shaped flowers of bright yellow that are particularly sweet as evening approaches. This grows wild in the South.

Finally, some suggestions for plants that don’t necessarily bloom only at night or release fragrance then but which have white blooms to glow in moonlight:

  • “Purity” cosmos
  • “Armour White” verbena
  • “Alba” foxglove
  • Summer hyacinth
  • “Bride” impatiens
  • “Alba” bleeding heart
  • “Moonraker” Cape fuchsia
  • “Perry’s White” oriental poppy
  • “White Swan” camellia
  • White forsythia
  • “Alba” columbine
  • “White Lace” Dianthus

And for a note of interest: silver thyme, “Alba” eggplant (egg-shaped fruits of glistening white), “Casper” or “Boo” white pumpkins and Fraxinella (the gas plant: at night, if you hold a match to the plant, either the plant glows with a blue flame – that doesn’t harm it – or the flowers burn with an orange flame and release the smell of lemon into the air).

The perfect accessory for any night garden, besides some lovely gargoyles, would be a moondial.

There are many, many more plants that can be included in the night garden. If you want more information, I suggest either The Evening Garden by Peter Loewer, or Evening Gardens by Cathy Barash, both written exclusively about gardening for the evening and night hours.

Forests I Have Known, Forests I Have Lost

Forests I Have Known, Forests I Have Lost

by Bestia Mortale

New Jersey

I remember the wet air indoors heavy as a hot towel, the cool gray stone on the terrace outside, the lawn not yet browned by the summer heat stretching out past a pair of tall wild cherry trees to the back field. On the left were low shrubs; on the right were roses. Beyond the lawn, the field fell gently down a long hill past the woods to a fence far in the distance. It was dusk, and deer had come out of the woods into the field, as usual.

It was quiet, if you didn’t count the crickets. Something winked down by the trees – the first firefly. A moment later, there were two more. Twenty minutes later, it was almost dark, except for thousands of tiny lights as far as the eye could see, flashing and disappearing, flashing again.

We had caught the lightning bugs a hundred times, watched their thoraxes glow. It was still magic to a child when the field danced with their fire. Down at the edge of the woods, honey locust trees were in flower. Their scent mingled with the smell of the honeysuckle that choked them and drifted on the still air while the moon hung heavy in the sky. Along the hedgerows, normal locust trees sprang up like weeds, with heavy thorns like briars. The honey locusts, by contrast, had beautiful spines three or four inches long, deep black at the base and lighter at the tips, needle sharp. They grew out in bristles of fifteen or twenty spikes, eight or ten inches tall – these weren’t climbing trees.

New Jersey is the Garden State. If you drive out of New York City through the Lincoln Tunnel onto the Jersey Turnpike, you pass the wetlands, a vast area of marsh covered with cattails. For many years when I was a child, the industries would dump their chemicals in it openly, cheerful bright red, orange, yellow and green piles surrounded by colored water and death. Now the piles are hidden. In the center of the wetlands rises a new mountain, literally. You only see how big it is when you realize that the tiny dots moving up its slope are garbage trucks.

Next, you drive past Newark, a vast city of slums. You hear about the tenements and street violence of New York, but from Newark, which is uniformly worse, comes silence. I remember riding the train past mile upon mile of decrepit brick buildings, windows open in the brutal summer heat of midday, in the booming ’60s. On the fire escapes facing the tracks sat listless crowds of men and women with empty faces, not talking, not drinking, just watching the trains go by. I still remember their faces. The Garden State.

South of Newark, in the neighborhood of Elizabeth, you pass one of the great industrial gardens of the world. Oil refineries sprout like mechanical cancers on the flat plain, twisted, intricate and beautiful. Their stacks still throw out lurid jets of fire against the night sky as they flame off volatile gases. Things have gotten more sophisticated since I was a child. You can drive by now without gagging at a smell of burning tires mixed with rot from the slaughterhouses, but Elizabeth still has one of the highest cancer rates in the country. And you should see the sunsets.

How can I describe New Brunswick, farther south? It makes Tacoma seem cheerful and prosperous. And in the middle of the state, not far from Philadelphia, there is Trenton, the old industrial center of New Jersey. In Trenton, a famous railroad bridge proclaims the motto of this city of discouragement: “Trenton Makes, the World Takes.”

The cities were imposed on the land a generation or two before my time. They seem so old and ruined, I never realized how recently they took their present form, until I spoke to a neighbor of mine in the Hudson Valley. Her father had owned a dairy farm in the Bronx, and she showed me pictures of her childhood. She remembered riding into Manhattan with her dad on a horse-drawn milk truck at 4 in the morning to make the rounds with him. The old photographs showed wooden fences, fields, cows, in the Bronx, within living memory.

I grew up out in the country about 15 miles north of Trenton. When my parents bought the place just after World War II, no one else wanted a house four whole miles south of Princeton, deep in the countryside. Nobody but farmers lived that far out in the sticks. It was, in fact, an old farm.

Central New Jersey is a delta, a flat plain built up from millions of years of Delaware River silt. The soil is incredibly fertile. The water table runs close to the surface, readily accessible for use or poison. The climate is cold in winter, unbearably hot and humid in the summer. It’s perfect growing land. New Jersey is called the Garden State because for a couple of hundred years, its truck farms grew some of the best fruit and vegetables in the nation, for the big cities of New York and Philadelphia.

When I was a child, there were nothing but working farms for miles around. When my brother and I wanted to go fishing as little kids, we would store up our energy and slog across the humid fields with our poles. We’d push endlessly through dense alfalfa, cross under the barbed wire into the neighbor’s corn field beyond, negotiate the shady alleys in the corn for perhaps half a mile until we came to the cow pasture on the other side. Avoiding the herd, we’d make our way across to a little creek and follow it along, fishing the deep pools, occasionally bringing home a catfish or two with a couple of perch. All we could see in every direction was fields. There were no roads.

All that has changed, of course. By the time I went away to college in the late ’60s, the last working farm had given out. A few years later, a mall arose where unbearably succulent strawberries had grown. All across the fields of central New Jersey, tens of thousands of cookie cutter houses sprang up, along with roads and parking lots, air conditioners and the perennial summer power brown-outs.

You can find plenty of ugly housing developments around Seattle, but nothing compares to the horrors of New Jersey. Along the Jersey Turnpike, developers built miles of hideous boxes so precisely identical that their owners had to paint them garish colors simply in order to find the right house.

These were changes brought about by humans, by human culture, politics and economics, but they took place in the context of the land. From what I remember from my childhood, the land of central New Jersey has power that seemed to shape its very desecration.

I’ve never encountered land so powerfully fertile, and sad at the same time. There was something melancholy even about the fields, but especially about the woods. The woods near us were all recent second growth, and the trees were stunted at around 25 feet by the riot of competing vegetation. Honeysuckle and poison ivy vines climbed every trunk. The soil was so rich, I even remember the poison ivy vines growing up in hairy free-standing trees, thick as my leg and six or eight feet tall. Luckily, I could touch them without effect.

At ground level, thickets of briars rose to heights of 10 or 15 feet and covered acres. These briars made the blackberries in the Northwest seem benign. Their thorns were large curved shiny claws that slid into you and broke off, leaving what looked like a scab on your leg or arm. When you picked at the pain, the claw would slip out of your flesh on your fingernail, releasing blood. The thickets sheltered rabbits and foxes and every kind of small animal. If children were careful, they could find their way deep into the thickets on narrow trails leading to countless dens where deer slept during the day.

I loved our woods. They were mysterious, keeping more secrets in an acre than the great forests have in a hundred. Between the wars, a farmer had run hogs in one part of them, and there was a den deep in a thicket where we found their bones, thick, long, heavy and gray, covered with patches of bright green moss. Another time we found the skull of a buck, its antlers tangled in the branches of a tree.

There were marshy areas, with swamp cabbage and sickly smells. At the edges of the fields, milkweed waved its inviting fleshy stems and delectable poisonous purple berries. Young soldiers with wooden swords sometimes marched against the milkweed armies, leaving carnage in their wake that dripped pasty white blood.

The land was friendly to us, but it was sad. Its frantic fertility had a feeling of alienation, of stillbirth. Nothing ever reached full growth.

Gradually, I realized that this had not always been so. Every once in a while, in the middle of New Jersey fields, you would come on a great old oak tree that had been spared when the land was cleared in the eighteenth century. These trees had trunks six feet across, and giant branches. They were old, full of a different life. A very few patches of old-growth forest also remained, with trees of unimaginable size and age, larger than the great old elms that lined the Princeton streets. The floor of the old-growth forests was relatively bare, covered with delicate ground-cover rather than the embattled jungle I was used to.

When this land was cleared a century or two ago, an older order must have died. Its remnants in the great old trees hint to me its power. No one remembers it, no one recorded it, no one mourns it, but its loss changed everything. Without it, the fecundity of the land wells up in a riot of growth that lacks balance and gives me a feeling of melancholy impotence.

Most people are not affected by such feelings, of course. Or are they? The growth of so-called civilization in New Jersey has exactly that same tone of formless, febrile melancholy. The industrial sickness, the poisoning of the land, the housing jungle are all different expressions of the feeling my woods had. In New Jersey it is as if we humans, having killed something we didn’t understand, became caught in the cycle of decay we unknowingly began. We may have started the disruption, but it now infects us. Yes, we poisoned the air and water, but we go on breathing and drinking. Are we in control here? I doubt it.

The Adirondack Mountains

When you think of New York State, you probably think of New York City, Long Island, maybe Albany, Buffalo or even Ithaca. You probably don’t think offhand of wilderness. But the Adirondack mountain range in northeastern New York covers half a billion acres of what used to be called the Great North Woods, still a vast tract of unspoiled forest.

From a Western perspective, these are strange mountains. In the Northwest, we’re used to the Cascades, formed 2 or 3 million years ago, like the Alps. The Rockies rose earlier, maybe 50 million years ago, twice as long ago as the Himalayas. The Adirondacks, on the other hand, are ruins of the Laurentian Shield, the primal crust of the continent. Instead of dramatic peaks thrust up recently, the Adirondacks are the worn foundations of a range far taller a billion years ago than the Himalayas are today.

Adirondack country typically looks more like rolling foothills than mountains. Broad-hipped, contemplative peaks 4000 to 5000 feet high are scattered sparsely among long ridges uniformly clothed in unbroken forest.

The land is not untouched by man. Loggers rolled through 150 years ago and cut most of the old softwoods, the spruce and pine, leaving the hardwoods standing, maple and birch. As a result, the forests are now mostly deciduous, except in the high places. Generations of hunters, trappers, fisherman, boaters and every other kind of tourist have also wandered by, killing wildlife, enjoying the natural peace and beauty. Acid rain now threatens to exterminate fish in thousands of lakes and ponds across the area.

It isn’t easy land for humans. Aside from taking care of tourists and summer folk, there’s very little work for the people who live there. In winter, the snow is seldom less than three feet deep, and often twice that. Subzero winds cut across flawless skies. Although the land harbors no poisonous plants or reptiles, in late spring clouds of small black flies rise from the woods and fall on unprotected skin. People or dogs not coated with thick layers of insect repellent swell up and even fall sick from hundreds upon hundreds of bites. All through the summer, one wave of hungry insects succeeds another: black flies, no-see-ums, mosquitoes, blue-bottles, deer flies.

All the same, the land is strong, gentle, deep; benign in its indifference. I have never felt so embraced by the spirits of the place as I have in the Adirondack woods. It’s like standing in a grove of old-growth fir and cedar in the Northwest where the trees rise almost endlessly above you, and at their feet, tiny, you sense centuries of sunlight and rain in their memories. In the Adirondacks, the feeling is less dramatic and more pervasive, like something breathing so quietly that you can’t quite hear it, a subtle, unidentifiable fragrance that places your life and death in a context of beauty.

It doesn’t seem ancient, or even old. It is as specific as a single tiny flower, a chipmunk’s life, a small cloud that passes over the sun and moves on. Only when you listen to it for a time, walking in silence among the trees, do you realize that the song of the land has a shifting changeless quality, like eternity or the gaps between galaxies.

Even if you fear the fey, don’t you yearn for their music? In the Great North Woods, whether you live or die, waste or prosper, thrive or sicken, the land embraces you and fills your dance, if you listen, with subtle, ancient songs.

Above the Snoqualmie Valley

We blight the countryside, we humans, for diverse and wonderful reasons. All across the Pacific Northwest these days, you can see vast clearcuts posted with signs that read, “This Devastation Supported by Timber Dollars.” Our proud and patriotic lumberjacks are happily selling our forests’ hearts to the Far East, to buy more beer from Milwaukee. It’s a positive balance of trade.

No one is much upset, including the environmentalists, because forests are a renewable resource. As long as we can put some limits on the current frenzy, lumberjacks will become extinct before many other species. There will simply be no more trees to cut. Timber prices will go through the ceiling, people will learn to build with other materials, and then, after 40 or 50 years, new forests will be ready to harvest on the once-naked hills. Big timber companies won’t go out of business; they’re looking forward to skyrocketing prices. In the meantime, they’re making plenty of money selling huge old trees to Japan, and our boys with chainsaws can still buy beer.

That’s not quite the whole story, of course. A timber crop is renewable, but trees 1000 years old are not. I live on land that Weyerhaeuser clear-cut in 1979. The woods have definitely come back. Some of the fast-growing firs are now over 20 feet tall. The deer don’t seem to mind. The mountain beaver thrive, and there’s a bear that still lives down the hill. Recovery is happening.

But how about the fey, the spirits of the land? I bought the place five years ago for the acres of woods and the sense of magick they gave me. At first, though, particularly at the top of our hill, I kept getting a feeling of anger and brooding. The big old stumps had a bitter air of reproach. I wondered if our promontory, with its panoramic view of the south Snoqualmie Valley, hadn’t once been a place sacred to native people. Sometimes in the dark night, I heard songs in my dreams, chanting grief and protection.

The new-growth trees crowding each other at the brink of the hill seemed to have an almost ominous look in places. The edge of the yard felt like a border between hostile territories. The forest was beginning to hem us in.

I went out and walked in the trees and spoke with them, I suppose, or tried to. I bought a chainsaw and cut them back, opening up the view again, leaving one tree in 20 standing near the top. I promised that tall firs would line the ridge as they used to, with room to breathe between them. The trees listened and missed me when they fell.

It was a beginning, but not enough. With the help of friends, we laid a small stone terrace out at the very end of our promontory beside a holly tree, planted roses and grapes, sage, echinacea, thyme, wormwood and motherwort, lilac and foxglove. We made a stone bench for humans and a small altar for the fey, and in the yard laid a circle of stones. We gave our respect there, alone, together, and in coven.

With each ritual gesture, each genuine effort to align ourselves with the land, the feeling of the place changed. Ferns grew up where the earth had been bare before. Native foxglove joined the foxglove we had planted. A madrona tree rooted by our fence. The breeze that whispered through the trees was no longer angry, though it still seems sad to me at times.

I am just a sentimentalist, of course. Who cares what devastation man creates? We’re just another natural disaster, like fire, flood or molten rock. Still, it seems to me we can hear the music if we listen. Perhaps we need to be a little more sentimental, a little less pragmatic, and listen to what we hear so clearly, even if we think it isn’t there.

We’re not alone here, for good or ill.

Environmental Magic

Environmental Magic

The Return Of Wonder

by Eric Lethe

When I undertook the writing of this article, I didn’t want it to be a technical treatise on industrial processes or a political rant about environmental laws and regulations.

The feeling of wonder is a doorway to the elemental power that we utilize in magic. In order to gain an impression of this feeling, think back to childhood. Remember when you looked up at the clouds, or how you felt when you saw a shooting star, or really looked at a brilliant sunset. This sensation is the feeling of wonder. To recall this feeling is to make yourself open to the essential environmental energies that surround us. I feel that to lose touch with the earthly energies is to “take a vacation” from being alive. So many things influence us to disregard the expressions of the Goddess in this world.

It takes a conscious effort to regain this wonder-full perspective.

Yesterday I saw the crocuses had emerged from their winter sleep and had flowered in a purple greeting to the Spring. This then was my inspiration. All of us, as pagans, have a need to continually refresh the sense of wonder that comes from our recognition of the seasons, of natural phenomenon, and of those expressions of the Goddess that present themselves to us. This is of especial importance to those of us who live in the city. Our power, our magic, are expressions of Earthly energy, and need to be recognized and regenerated.

The First Peoples of this land knew the importance of renewing their connection with the Mother Earth at every opportunity. Why? Because their Shamans knew that the Earth, Fire, Water and Air were the sources of spirit power that the people drew upon, and needed to be replenished by ritual and sacrifice.

I’m not suggesting cutting or burning your household pets, but to emphasize the importance of recognizing and replenishing the sources of your personal power. I cannot recommend strongly enough the importance of regaining the energy, the wonder of feeling the connection with the Earth. The textbook definition of ecology is the study of the connectedness of all living things and their environments. These things that are living include the Earth herself.

Other than during ritual, when was the last time you did an Earth or element feeling meditation? It is my opinion that we who “walk between the worlds” owe a special debt to Gaia, or the Goddess, or whichever manifestation of the Great Mother Earth presents herself to you.

Consider the law of threefold return, and what you may do for the healing of the planet. Volunteer for an environmental clean-up or a reforestation project. Help restore a salmon stream, or devote some time to distributing literature for a good environmental cause. These are things which can be done on the material plane. Probably the most important thing you can do is include the conscious effort toward healing the Planet in all your rituals. Make time to experience the joy and wonder of those things as simple as the opening of a Spring flower, or the colors of a sunrise or sunset.

These things are the roots, branches and fruit of our spirituality. To lose touch with them is to lose the reason for our being.

Our power, our magic (again, my opinion) lies in the ability to come into contact with these wonder-full energies and utilize them in accordance with our will. The success of these utilizations depends upon their effect upon the natural world…in all its dimensional forms.

I will share one of my favorite meditations for connection to the essential energies: Imagine yourself lying on a raft with your eyes closed. The air is warm and the sun is shining. You begin to float downstream, with the water lapping at the raft. With your eyes still closed, you see the sun dappled by the tree branches overhead. You smell the trees, and the water plants, and the warm day. Your attention focuses upon the water sound: gentle, lapping and flowing around you. The water is all around you, and you feel it within you, pumping and flowing as blood. The smell of all the plants around you enter your senses, and you breathe deeply. Each breath suggests a gift, a blessing of life. The breath, the air, the smells are enveloping and enrapturing to you.

The raft passes from beneath the trees, and you feel the warm sun upon your face. Feel the fiery sun giving energy to you and to all living things the rays fall upon. You can almost feel your hair growing, plant-like in the sun. Your face feels radiant, as the sun beats down. There is an awareness that this gift will also burn and consume you with passionate, wonder-full heat.

The raft has come to rest in a small pool, out of the stream’s main flow. Reaching out, you touch the bank and sink your hand into the cool mud. It feels slimy and refreshing both. You open your eyes, and look at the handful of wet earth you hold. The prehistoric fishes and amphibians crawled out onto just such mud as this a billion years ago. Are we still so different? It is time to return to yourself in the here and now. Be aware though, that this place of wonder is one that is within each of us, just as assuredly as each of the elements are part of us.

Blessed Be!

Flowing with Life’s Current (A Meditation on Water)

Flowing with Life’s Current

A Meditation on Water

by Melanie Fire Salamander

Water appears in pagan rituals as  one of the four magickal elements,  associated in some traditions with the  West, the autumnal equinox and sunset. Its colors are blues and greens; it  corresponds to the magickal power  to dare and to the Tarot suit of cups.  At Imbolc, this series began with a  meditation on fire; water comes next  as we travel deosil around the circle.

From water, traditionally associated with emotion, you get the emotional flow so required in ritual. To me,  water also connects with the liquid  state of matter, as air corresponds  to the gaseous state, earth to the  solid state, and fire to the process of  changing state. I think, however, it’s  important not only to learn traditional  or other elemental associations but  also to discover and understand our  own elemental associations, to have  our own personal relationship with  each element. To know water better,  we can meditate upon it.

To use the following meditation  on water, either record it on tape and  play it back or have someone read it  to you. It takes about 15 to 20 minutes.

Before starting, find a comfortable  place where you won’t be disturbed;  take the phone off the hook and if  necessary shut the door on your pets.  If you’re prone to falling asleep during  meditation, perform this meditation  sitting up; if you have problems relaxing, stretch out on a bed, couch or  the floor.

The Meditation

Relax. Deeply relax, and take a few  deep breaths. In, out; in, out. Feel your  body, wiggle your fingers, your toes,  your nose, your hips and arms; roll your  head. Feel where your body ends and  what’s around you begins: the air  around you, the surface underneath  you. Be here now, present in your body,  in the present moment. Begin to release the cares of your day and week,  and be completely here in the present  moment.

Throughout this meditation, you  will have a complete, deep experience,  and you will remember everything you  sense and learn. If you need to return,  you can always do so. You can recall  yourself to the physical world by moving your fingers and toes. You will be  utterly safe and protected throughout.

Continue to relax and to breathe  deeply, and in your center, a little below and behind your navel, feel a drop  of water. It starts as a tiny drop and  grows to a puddle, perfectly warm and  contained, filling the center of your  body comfortably.

This pool of water flows outward,  into your body, pouring down into your  pelvis, your genitals, your legs and  feet; flowing upward filling your torso,  your chest and shoulders, your neck,  your head. It fills your body, easing  tension as it does, relaxing and calming you. The elemental water fills you  completely.

Now the water overflows downward from your body, safely and comfortably. It soaks through the floor and  the concrete under the building, downward through the moist, cold earth.  The flow from your center joins an  underground stream in the stony rock  below the soil and plunges into bedrock deep beneath the earth.

Let the elemental water pour down  in a cascade from your center and  make a connection to the Earth, to the  heart of Earth. Feel the water flow out  as a waterfall and connect to the flowing, liquid heart of the Mother. (Pause  briefly.)

Let the waterfall wash away old  anger, guilt, fear, sadness into the  Earth, safely giving this energy to the  Earth. Feel the water wash away all the  negative energy into the Earth. (Pause  briefly.)

Now feel the elemental water burst  up again from the earth with joy, rushing effortlessly up through the rock,  past the downward flow that still continues. The liquid energy from the  Mother fills you completely, healing and  cleansing you. (Pause briefly.)

Then the liquid earth energy  bubbles out the top of your head,  upward like a fountain through the air  of the room, through the ceiling,  through the roof into the outside air.  It kisses the tree branches and bursts  into the sky, scattering drops and mist.

In the sky, feel this liquid force  connect to and absorb the energies  of the Sky-Father, the starlight and the  cool energy of the sun and moon.  Connect to the cool, clear energy of  the sky. (Pause briefly.)

The liquid energy condenses as  rain and tumbles down onto your forehead, your shoulders, all over your  body. Feel the raindrops soaking  through your skin and into you, bringing with them the sky energy. Feel the  cool, clear sky energy fill you, cleansing and healing. (Pause briefly.)

Feel the life water passing through  you, downward and upward, drawing  upward warm earth energy, carrying  downward cool liquid sky-energy. Bring  the liquid energies of earth and sky  together in your center and mingle  them gently and thoroughly, mix them  completely and smoothly. Let the combined energy spread into the whole of  your body, healing you, dissolving and  washing away any remaining trouble or  pain into the earth. (Pause for some  time.)

Now imagine yourself standing in  a meadow, under the night sky. The  stars are out, and a few clouds, lit by  a crescent moon. It’s summertime, and  the meadow smells sweet, like newly  cut grass. Feel the cool night breeze  on your body and face. Against your  ankles you feel dew on the grass, and  in the distance you hear the sound of  waves.

Look around a bit; see where you  are. Know that throughout this meditation, you will remember everything  important to you.

You see before you a gravel path,  stones pale and a little phosphorescent in the moonlight. You begin to  walk down the path, slowly; it slopes  gently down a hill. Before you and to  either side stand tall grasses that  rustle in the wind, and a few gnarled  trees. You hear more strongly the  sound of waves, and smell the salt of  the ocean in the breeze.

The path goes under a row of trees  whose limbs have tangled together  above you, twisting to grasp each  other, casting darkness onto the path.  The air is close here and a little  warmer. Despite the deeper darkness,  you feel utterly safe and calm. Through  the tangled branches you see one star  in the silver-lit sky above you, twinkling.

You come out from under the dark trees and see you are at the top of a beach, in the solid sand amid a scattering of beach grass. You go forward, down the beach, breathing deeply in the salt air. Ahead of you the night sky lies calm above a quiet ocean. The crescent moon scatters a path of light along the peaceful flat water, which moves gently. Waves, lips of water, cast gently upon the beach, each leaving a rim of foam shining in the moonlight. You walk forward down the shifting sand to the very edge of the wet sand. It is high tide.

You squat and put your hands in  the ocean water. It feels cool and  soothing. It laps onto your feet, a little  cold, but you don’t mind.

You stand and see down the  beach there’s a pool formed where a  stream runs into the ocean, just a few  feet above the waves’ edge. You walk  to the pool, sit on its bank. You hear  the rushing of the stream down the  rocks to the pool; you hear the lapping surf, the steady breathing of the  sea. The water in the pool is perfectly  clean and transparent, but deeper than  you expected, deep and wide enough  to swim in freely. The cool, clear water moves gently, a current within it  flowing to the sea.

As you look at the pool, raindrops  begin to patter on its surface. Feel the  light drops tap your skin, cool. Sense  what it is to be rain. (Pause briefly.)

You study the water in the pool,  lowering your thought into the cool,  clean water. Dip your hands in the water, feel its coolness gentle on your  hands and arms. Lift water to your lips  and taste it; perceive it with all your  senses. (Pause briefly.)

As you study the water, you notice it has associations for you. Let  these come up freely. (Pause for some  time.) You will remember all parts of  your experience you want to remember.

What emotions do you have for  water? (Pause briefly.)

Do images or symbols or words  float up through the water? (Pause for  some time.)

You continue to study the water,  seeing it, sensing its feel, its taste, its  sounds. You sense now that the water is asking you to come still closer.  In utter confidence and safety, you  lower yourself completely into the  water, over your head. You find you  are warm and breathing easily and  safely underwater. You stand on the  bottom of the pool at its deepest  point, calm and invigorated. You become one with the water. Be the water; see how that feels. (Pause briefly.)

Feel each particle of the water.  (Pause briefly.) Feel the whole water.  (Pause for some time.)

You ask the water what it is, what  its nature is, and the water replies.  (Pause briefly.)

The water may have something else  to communicate to you, about yourself or work or life. (Pause briefly.) It  may have something to communicate  about the world at large. (Pause for  some time.)

Now you look out from the deep  pool, out through its mouth to the  great ocean beyond. You swim effortlessly into the unknown ocean, deep  with life. Greet the ocean; descend into  it. (Pause for some time.)

Now return again out of the water. You’re able to walk easily out onto  the beach, and you find your clothes  perfectly dry. Separate into yourself  sensing the water, keeping everything  you need from the experience, remembering everything. You feel cleansed  and invigorated.

Now say good-bye to the pool, the  ocean and the rain. Thank them for  their presence and the insight they  have conveyed and for allowing you  to become water. (Pause briefly.)

Now turn and take the path back  across the beach to the trees. You  walk under the dark trees, the  branches tangled above you, feel the  warmth of the enclosed space. You  walk back out again, up the gravel path  through the grasses, smelling the salt  of the ocean, feeling the night breeze  gentle on your skin. You return to the  meadow where you started, under the  moonlit sky.

You begin once more to feel your  body. You are coming up from trance,  remembering everything that has happened to you, retaining everything that  was important that you learned from  the water, feeling warm and relaxed  yet energetic. Feel your body; wiggle  your fingers and toes. Be present here  and now. Feel the air above and the  surface below you. You will remember  everything you want to remember.  Breathe deeply, and open your eyes.

Shower Your Cares Away

Shower Your Cares Away

by Sylvana SilverWitch

Much more than earth, fire or air,  the healing aspects of water are easy  for me to identify with, maybe partly  because I am a double water sign —  Pisces sun with Cancer rising. I seem  to think about water most of the time.  It seems I am either washing myself,  my hands or face, or drinking or sitting in it. I am very much attuned to  the properties of water, and I find that  if I stray very far away from a large  body of water, I am unhappy and I just  don’t feel right.

Even if you don’t have signs in  water, as a human being you’re naturally attuned to water, because the  great majority of your body is made  of it. In a way, water is the easiest element for us to connect with, because  we can easily submerge ourselves in  it, unlike in fire or earth. When we do  immerse ourselves in water, we’re usually conscious of doing so, unlike our  experience of immersing in air.

Following is a quick cleansing  meditation that makes use of this natural connection to water and that is  designed to be used in the shower.

If you are one of those people who  can’t seem to find the time to meditate, or if you ever need a psychic  cleanup in a hurry, this meditation  might be perfect for you. It takes only  a very few minutes once you get the  process memorized. It really works  and can be very helpful, and it is easy  to do every day as a part of your normal routine, since most of us shower  or bathe every day (or at least I hope  we do). I do it every day, all the time —  no matter where I am.

This meditation involves cleansing and running energy through your  body while in the process of cleansing your body by taking a shower. I  make use of the actual physicality of  washing in the shower and the motion  of the water as a focus for the cleansing and healing meditation.

The first few times, try it when you  are not too rushed, so you have time  to get a feel for how it works for you.

First, get into the shower and do  what ever you need to do that may  take some attention to detail, such as  washing your hair or shaving. Then do  your usual grounding and centering.  Next, visualize yourself standing in the  middle of a wonderful, warm, healing  waterfall, golden sun radiant on you,  mist glistening up brilliant rainbows  and water gently cascading down  around and over you. Visualize the  water delicately caressing every part  of your body with cleansing, nurturing  energy.

Smell the warmth of the water as  it runs in rivulets over your body. Imagine you are in a tropical paradise, a  magickal place that you have come for  healing your body and spirit. Hear the  sounds of the water rushing over you.

Contemplate your day and week  and anything seemingly important that  has happened during them. Feel  throughout your body and notice if  there are any places that your energy  feels “stuck” or heavy. Think about  your physical body and how it has been  feeling. Search with your awareness  your whole body: your bones, muscles,  nerves, skin and organs. Notice any  place that seems to need attention.  Use your perception to observe anything that seems out of place or wrong  to you.

I also like to take this time to look  and feel for energy “cords” connecting me to other people. Cords are  energetic connections to people and  energies that I am not responsible for  and don’t need to carry around. They  look like literal cords, or sometimes  more like cables, between us and  those we come into contact with, especially loved ones, friends, co-workers and yes, even enemies!

When you get a sense of what energies you might want to disperse, then  work on dispersing them by beginning  to propel the energy around and  through you. Dissipate it by gathering  it and sending it washing down your  body with the water into the drain.  Imagine or picture it being cleansed  from you — your energy body then  transparent, shining pure and clear.

Think about being cleansed of all  of the anger, resentment and negativity that has been thrown at you or that  you have picked up from other people  or situations and that you have carried around. These energies can cause  disease and stress. Anger, resentment  and negativity all may harm you if you  don’t dissipate and neutralize them  from time to time.

Understand that by cleaning your  body and using your sponge and soap  and at the same time imagining “cleaning” your body and energy, that you  “scrub” yourself clean, both body and  aura. Then ground out the energy with  the water.

After you have finished cleansing,  see the water flowing completely  through you — healing and nurturing  all the parts of yourself, body, soul,  mind, heart and spirit.

I have found that if I miss my  “shower meditation,” I do not feel  grounded and I have trouble concentrating and focusing on the matters  at hand. I sometimes have physical  symptoms and just don’t feel good if  I miss my water meditation. Try it, see  how it works for you and adapt it if  you need to.

Cutting the Knot: Handling a Pagan Divorce

Cutting the Knot: Handling a Pagan Divorce

by Freya Ray

Whether it’s three months past the handfasting or twelve years past the wedding, there comes a point in the lives of many pagan couples when it’s time to give it up already. You’ve tried everything you can think of to save the relationship, you’ve both been depressed for far too long, you’ve flailed around and dragged half your friends inside your mess and none of it has done any good.

Then a moment of clarity descends. This relationship is not going to be fixed by couples counseling, karmic clearing rituals, better feng shui or some new sexual interests. You’ve had it, or they’ve had it. Someone has made a simple, clear decision that it’s over.

Now what?

The absolute first thing you need to do is find some alone time to cry and rage and feel sorry for yourself. If you’re still in shock and it hasn’t hit you yet, you’ve got two options. One is to soldier on like an automaton, waiting for the freight train of your feelings to come around a corner and flatten you. The other is to create enough alone time with no distractions when you can invite your feelings to come up to the surface so you can deal with them. It’s a personal choice. Some people need to get things handled before they break down. Just make sure you create time to fall apart at some point.

The emotional basket-case period will vary in length, depending on the relationship, how long you were together, how shocking the end of it was to you, how much control you had in the decision, how badly you were done wrong or how guilty you feel for doing wrong and how much you still love your soon-to-be-ex-partner. However long it’s going to take you to get over it, you still need to find a clear moment in which to make some triage decisions.

When you get to a good break point in your weeping and wailing, dry your eyes, take a long walk and come back to get settled in a quiet, meditative place. What you need to do now is try to project yourself forward. Right at this moment, you’re feeling a whole host of conflicting things, or even worse, one overriding, immense emotion. These feelings are going to control the actions you take in the next few hours and weeks if you don’t make some higher-level decisions.

Setting aside the emotional crap you’re going to be wading through for a while, ask yourself the question, “What kind of relationship do I truly want to have with this person a year from now?” Sit with that until it’s clear to you. Are you “doner than done,” and you’ll never want to see your ex’s face again once you get his or her crap out of your house? Are you going to want to have a caring friendship? Are you still hoping you can get back together and work things out?

Now you have a vision, a dream. The next question is even more important. “How likely is my soon-to-be-ex-partner going to be to participate in this vision of mine?”

Be honest with yourself. At this point, if you’re calling this a divorce, you’ve been together long enough to have seen this person’s shit. Let me tell you, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, he or she is not going to become a nicer or better person during the breakup. It’s never happened. Not once. So if you know he has a tendency to shut down emotionally, or she’s not in touch with any of her exes, or he lies sometimes, or whatever, that trait is going to be worse from here on out than it was when she was still trying to impress you on some level.

Worse.

This estimation of what’s possible reuqires taking this into account. You take your optimism, your spiritual idealism and then you temper it with a healthy dose of realistic pessimism. It’s okay to gamble on a long shot. Just know you’re doing it. If you want to be friends, and he’s never remained on speaking terms with anyone he’s ever dated, you’ve got a very slim chance of pulling it off. Any effort you expend that direction needs to be effort you can give freely, even if nothing comes back from it.

Actually, that’s a pretty good rule for wherever you want to end up. A breakup is about sorting out stuff, including energy, so that everyone walks away (hopefully!) with what is her own. Don’t keep giving him energy you’re going to need. Give her what you can spare, and let her carry herself the rest of the time.

But I jump ahead. Right now, you’re figuring out what your intent is, your goal. You might even write this down, because I guarantee you that your resolve will be tested.

Quite often, I decide that I am absolutely, given the slightest opening, going to have a nice, friendly, flirtatious, comfortable friendship with an ex. Unless he’s done me country-song wrong, in which case I pick another intention. But if the breakup was due to a more blameless sort of incompatibility, I really want to remain friends with someone I’m no longer dating or living with.

This requires stubbornness after I’ve ended the relationship. Ego is hurt, feelings are hurt, he doesn’t want to see me because he still wants me, he doesn’t want to be near me because he doesn’t still want me, whatever. I have to remain unruffled by attempts to push me away. If I get defensive and hurt, then we’re having drama, and it’s not bringing us closer to being friends. If I wait it out, processing my own hurt on my own time, and holding a friendly open space for him whenever he’s ready to step into it, I’ve got a shot at finding a friend in a few months.

In order to be patient, when he’s saying offensive things or seducing a twit in front of my face, I need to have a clear intention. This anchors me, so my efforts remain in line with the results I wish to produce.

No matter how hurt you are right now, there will be results you will wish to have produced, a few months or a couple years from now. Be clear about them so you don’t slash and burn while you’re upset.

Okay, so you know what you want, you know how likely you are to get it, and you’ve formulated a clear statement of intention. Now you need a plan that’s in line with your intention.

If your intent is to never speak to her again, well, start protecting yourself. I’m sure you have good reason not to want her as a friend, and that means you don’t trust her to make decisions in your best interest during the separation. Don’t be cruel or unfair, but don’t leave all your money in a joint checking account either. Make the material plane decisions as quickly as possible. And be prepared to chew off at least a few toes in order to get yourself free of the trap. Act decisively.

If your intent is to remain friends, start acting like it now. At least when you’re with the new ex. When you’re with your friends, vent all you like. But when together with your ex-partner, be friendly, work toward compromise and offer some peace-treaty gifts. Give her a shared item she enjoys, or even an item of yours she enjoys. Offer to help him move. Call mutual friends and let them know about the breakup, and ask them to provide emotional support to your ex-partner, who really needs it right now. Act like a friend.

If your intent is to get back together, work toward that. Suggest a separation rather than a final decision. Suggest counseling for the both of you. Start counseling yourself. Suggest you pay for him to go to Peru and hang out at a spa getting therapy every day until he feels better about life. If none of these overtures meet with a receptive welcome, consider revising your intention. Your partner might not be open at all to trying it again. But if you’re still intent on your long shot, keep treating this person with love. Wait patiently, periodically testing the waters, seeing if a door opens. Do your emotional work to process the separation and deal with your feelings, so that if that door does open you don’t walk through it saying, “And how dare you shut me out of our own home!” or words to that effect.

Now let’s talk about the energetic and spiritual work that needs to be done with each of our three breakup plans. Any couple is bound by a whole mess of connections, at various chakras and in various stages of health. During a breakup, you need to decide which ones you sever and which you leave in place.

The hostile divorce is the easiest one to handle. Energetically, you slash and burn. Visualize the cords between you and your partner. Visualize a pair of scissors or a knife. Midway between the two of you, cut through the cords. Let her energy go boinging back to her, while yours rebounds inside your own energy body. Do a vacuum maneuver, where you suck up any stray energy that belongs rightfully to you. Do an expulsion, where you send back to him any energy that rightfully belongs to him. Make it clean, decisive and karmically correct.

You might need to repeat this maneuver, as sometimes it will take several separation ceremonies to clear the crud between you and the ex. Enmeshment can go very deep, because of an intense or long relationship this life, past life entanglements, karmic obligations or perfectly matched-up psychological and emotional wounds.

You might discover you’re uncomfortable keeping all your energy for yourself, that your habits of taking care of this person extend to a constant energetic feed heading their direction. You might discover you’ve been receiving a constant energetic feed from your ex, and by cutting the ties you feel depleted, adrift. Either way, it’s better to wallow through the withdrawal period than it is to allow the messy connections to remain in place. Cut the cords.

You should also have some kind of ritual where you release this person from your life, and release each other from any further karmic obligations toward each other. Burn stuff that reminds you of the relationship, chant your intention to be finished, move, something. What you do doesn’t matter, as long as you do it with intent. Use some external event to symbolize the end. Past here, we are no longer partners. In the hostile divorce, you do this ritual by yourself, and she does whatever she does on her own, and you start learning not to care what’s going on with her.

Take some time to put up protection. Surround yourself with white light, get a restraining order, change the locks, put up a send-back spell, whatever feels appropriate for the situation.

Be decisive, get it over with. It is done, it is done, it is done.

A friendly divorce is handled a bit differently. Energetically, you don’t want to cut all the cords in an indiscriminate knife-slash. You wish to leave some of them in place, and cut or diminish others. Visualize the connections between you, and ask which ones are appropriate for the relationship you wish to have now. Leave those, and cut the others. You might leave a strong connection at the heart and decide to sever the rest at least temporarily, allowing the ones that need to be there for your friendship to grow back. You might suck all the sexual energy back into your root and navel, leaving the rest of it alone. You might figure your partner has done enough slashing of connections already in his anger, and not do any more separating, instead feeding energy into a strong, clear, loving line between you.

Trust your intuition to guide you. Remain true to your intent. If you wish to be friends, and you or she are not equipped for casual sexual relationships, than no matter how juicy and delicious the sexual energy is between you, you need to let it go. If the spiritual bond was what drew you together, and on the material plane you drove each other nuts, perhaps you will choose to snip the crown connection for a while, to find out what sorts of connections are possible for you as friends when you’re not blinded by white light.

If your ex is amenable, it can be nice to have a closing ritual together. Plan a symbolic way to officially release the partnership relationship between you. Plan it together, enact it together and then invoke your mutual intention for friendship. If you have a partner you can do this with, you are truly blessed. Treasure that friendship.

For the still-hanging-on divorce, well, the energetic work you’re going to want to do and the energetic work you should do are probably going to be two different things. Your instinctive urge will be to cling with all your might, leaving all connections in place, tugging on them as hard as you can and sending your ex tons of energy as you think about him all the time. Don’t do that.

Basically, you need to clean up whatever the mess was that caused you two to separate or divorce. This means letting go of the icky-sticky codependent connections and doing your own personal work so you’re ready for a healthier relationship. The good news is that whether you and your ex get back together or not, you need to do this work. The bad news is that you will have no guarantees of getting her back after your interior makeover, even if you’re still convinced she’s your soulmate.

Force yourself. Visualize the connections, and be very honest about which ones are healthy and which ones are enmeshed. Have a ritual where you release the karmic obligations between you, where you release the unhealthy habit patterns between you, where you release any connections that are no longer appropriate between you.

Do this right. Be open to the possibility that the two of you really are done. If you find Spirit is telling you to let it all go, let it all go. Sometimes the phoenix cannot rise until things have burned themselves fully down to ash. Whether the phoenix will be a relationship with the same person or a new one, you need to let go.

With any luck, whichever type of divorce you’re going through, cleaning up the energetic and spiritual connections will take you further along the path of healing from the loss. Be gentle with yourself as you get used to life on your own again. Do your own work, and then, when it’s time, believe in a new beginning.

Springtime always follows the winter. Always.

I Married a Iwa: The Sacrad Nuptials of Haitian Vodou

I Married a Iwa: The Sacrad Nuptials of Haitian Vodou

by Kevin Filan

All is on earth. Nothing is in the sky. Nothing was made in the sky. No one needs to speak to the sky. Instead of talking about the sky, talk instead of the earth. André Pierre[1]

In most religions, devotees talk to the divine; in Vodou the divine talks to its devotees. Vodou is a very concrete school of mysticism. The lwa (spirits served in Vodou) are not part of some ineffable astral choir detached from reality; to their followers, they are as real as the local greengrocer or the noisy neighbor who lives down the hall. Vodouisants (devotees of Vodou, also known as serviteurs) come to their spirits with worldly concerns — difficulties in romance, financial needs, health problems — and ask for their intervention. In return, they provide the lwa with food, housing, gifts and, via the mechanism of possession, their own bodies. Many Vodouisants will show their love for the spirit in a time-honored fashion: by taking wedding vows in the ceremony of the maryaj lwa.

To understand Haitian Vodou, one must understand Haiti, and to understand Haiti, one must understand Haitian history. If Vodou is a mirror of Haitian culture, Haitian culture is a mirror of colonial St. Dominique. A study of the maryaj lwa — and of marriage in Haitian culture — can help to illuminate many of the ways in which a century of slavery, followed by two centuries of poverty and oppression, has shaped every aspect of Haitian life.

Bay kou bliye pote mak sonje (He who strikes the blow forgets; he who bears the bruises remembers.) Haitian Proverb

Among the various African tribes whose members came in chains to the New World, there were many different conjugal relationships. Some tribes were polygamous, while others were monogamous. Brideswealth marriages, cross-cousin marriages, slave marriages, secondary marriages and ritual marriages could all be found in Central and West Africa. Few of these customs had meaning in the harsh conditions of St. Dominique. Family relationships were regularly torn apart at auctions, while plantation owners who wanted to sleep with an attractive slave woman rarely considered their own marital vows, never mind those of their “property.” Slave owners forbade anything that smacked of African “heathenism” and “voodooism,” and brutally punished any slaves who were caught preserving their native traditions. Nor would the customs of any one tribe necessarily be reflected in the customs of another. To minimize the risk of organized uprisings, it was common practice to keep slaves from different groups together on a plantation; Africans separated by language and by ethnic identity were considered less likely to band together than Africans from the same region or tribe.

Flung together in this hellhole, the slaves were forced to recreate their ancestral religious traditions with whatever was at hand. A ceremonial reglamen developed to honor each of the ancestral nachons (nations or tribes) in order. Roman Catholicism, the religion of the French colonial masters, would also come to play an especially important role in Vodou.[2] Africans had never been afraid to incorporate the deities of neighboring tribes. Obviously the French gods were powerful: They kept their White followers in wealth and gave them mastery over the black slaves. And so the slaves appropriated many of the symbols and practices of Catholicism into their own religious melange, including the sacrament of marriage.

Even after a bloody decade-long revolution, and the 1804 establishment of the Free Black Republic of Haiti, the influence of Catholicism and European culture did not fade away. The ruling blans (whites) were largely replaced by gens du coleur, free blacks and mullatos who were known for being “more French than the French.” They identified African culture with ignorance and inferiority: Indeed, many gens du coleur had themselves been slaveholders before the Revolution. Free Haitian society quickly became stratified between a dark-skinned poor majority and a light-skinned wealthy minority ruling class, a situation that has persisted to this day. European customs and religious practices were identified with wealth and prestige– and, inevitably, power.

The sacred obligations of marriage are but Iittle regarded in [Haiti]; the two sexes live in a state of concubinage; and, according to M. de la Croix, many irregular unions have taken place. Niles’ Weekly Register, Baltimore, Nov. 25, 1820.

For most Haitians, a civil or religious marriage is a luxury. The most common relationship among peasants and the urban lower class is plasaj or common-law marriage. Haitians typically refer to any woman who lives with a man, keeps house for him and bears his children as a “wife.” The husband and wife often make explicit agreements about their economic relationship at the beginning of a plasaj. These agreements typically require the husband to cultivate at least one plot of land for the wife and to provide her with a house. Women perform most household tasks, though men often do heavy chores like gathering firewood. These unions are distinguished from vivavek or tizammi relationships, sexual affairs that carry less responsibility and are less stable than a plasaj.[3]

Among the Haitian elite, civil and religious marriages were the norm; the “best” families could trace legally married ancestors to the nineteenth century. Legal marriages were seen as more prestigious than plasaj, but they were not necessarily more stable or productive, nor were they necessarily monogamous. In fact, legally married men are often more economically stable than men in plasaj relationships, and so it is easier for them to separate from their wives or to enter into extramarital relationships. While Haitian women are expected to maintain sexual fidelity to their husbands, whether or not they are legally married or in a plasaj relationship, Haitian men are more free to pursue polygamous relationships. Polygamy among Haitian men is not so much a sign of virility as of social and economic success: few Haitian men can afford to keep more than one family.

Danto, she says to me “You have a choice: Be with me, mon amour or I’m not responsible for what will happen to you.” I could die, you know, anything could happen. Georges René, husband of Ezili Danto[4]

When the lwa possess bystanders at a ceremony, they will frequently offer advice and blessings — and make demands in return. Often their demands will include a request for marriage. The coquettish Erzulie Freda, lwa of love, beauty and luxury, often proposes to several men when she arrives at a ceremony, while the rum-swilling warrior lwa Ogou is known for his love of the ladies and often asks for their hands in marriage when he comes. Frequently these proposals are met with reluctance. A maryaj lwa is at least as expensive as a civil or religious marriage, and may cost several years in savings. In lieu of a marriage, a Vodouisant might offer to buy the proposing lwa a gift or to make some sacrifice that is less costly and onerous. Sometimes the lwa will be satisfied with these counteroffers; as spirits residing in an impoverished land, they have long since learned to accept what is available to them. At other times they will insist on the maryaj. Vodouisants who continue to ignore these demands will often discover their luck turning for the worse, as the spurned lwa brings them misfortune and sickness. Sometimes the lwa will even punish the Vodouisant’s partner, making him or her ill until such time as the marriage demands are met.

When the Vodouisant decides (or is persuaded) to marry the lwa, a ceremony is held. The space is prepared by the Priye Gineh, a lengthy ceremonial salute in which the lwa are honored alongside God, Jesus, the Virgin and various saints. A table is set up for the spirits who are going to be married. Cakes are prepared in their favorite colors (pink for Freda, red and blue for Danto, etc.). Their favorite offerings are placed on the table, alongside offerings for other lwa who might show up at the ceremony to give their blessings. The ceremonial clothing or objects of the brides or grooms will be close at hand. The human bride or groom, meanwhile, will be dressed in his or her finest clothing, as befits such a solemn ceremony.

After the Priye, the houngan or mambo (Priest or Priestess) in charge will begin calling the various lwa. Starting with Papa Legba, the gatekeeper who “opens the door” for the other lwa, s/he will salute the spirits in the order of the reglaman. At the appropriate time, the bride/groom spirits will possess one of the participants. That chwal (“horse”) will be dressed in the clothing of the lwa — a straw hat and bag for agricultural lwa Zaka, a denim dress for Ezili Danto, etc. Then s/he will be seated before the table beside the serviteur s/he is marrying. A pret savanne (literally “bush priest”) will recite the Catholic marriage ceremony; the lwa and the serviteur pledge fidelity to each other. The serviteur’s rings are “passed through fire” — incense smoke, really — and then the lwa places the ring on the serviteur’s finger.

This ritual is repeated for each lwa whom the serviteur is going to marry. Only rarely does one marry a single lwa: usually it is necessary to marry two or three so that their energies will be balanced. A woman who marries Ogou will also marry Damballah, the Great White Serpent, and Zaka: It is believed that Damballah will “cool” Ogou’s hot, intense energy while Zaka will help to “ground” it. And any man who marries Freda must marry her hardworking peasant sister Ezili Danto, and vice versa: the acrimony between these two women is legendary in Vodou and it is believed that marrying only one will cause the other to become enraged with jealousy. (Polygamy is also the rule among the lwa themselves: Erzulie Freda is “wife” to Damballah, Ogou and the sea king Met Agwe, while even Ogou has to wear the rings of both Freda and Ezili Danto.)

The serviteur is now married to the lwa. S/he will be expected to set aside at least one night per month — and perhaps as many as three nights a week — during which s/he will not have sexual relations with anyone else. During that time many spouses of the lwa will sleep alone in a bed that they have specially prepared for the occasion. They may wrap their heads with a cloth in their spouse’s color, and will almost certainly wear their wedding rings. On that evening they are frequently visited by their husbands/wives in dreams that may have sexual content or which may involve more platonic counsel and advice.

While most wealthy planters in St. Dominique were having sexual relations with one or more of their slaves, few would admit to this publicly. They might grant favored status to those women and their offspring, but always in private. The whole process became an open secret, one of those things that everyone knew but no one discussed. Among Haiti’s wealthy, the same could be said of Vodou. Rather than holding public fetes in their homes, or attending ceremonies, wealthy Haitians might honor the lwa privately through a maryaj lwa performed in their homes. This allows them to serve the lwa discreetly. By setting aside days for the lwa and maintaining an inconspicuous shrine, they can gain the spirit’s continued protection and blessings without incurring the social stigma that open service to the lwa would bring. If poor Haitians marry the lwa, rich Haitians take them as concubines.

Entering the Vodou is like choosing a whole new family. Choosing a family is rightfully a serious undertaking. Houngan Aboudja[5]

The maryaj lwa ceremony is not only costly; it also involves considerable responsibility. Violating your wedding vows is seen as extremely dangerous. Edeline St.-Amand, a Haitian Mambo living in Brooklyn, tells the story of a man who married Erzulie Freda, then had relations with another woman on the day set aside for Freda. “He says his nature is gone,” Mambo Edeline explains. “I try to call Freda for him so he can say he’s sorry. For three hours I try to call Freda, but Freda won’t come. Finally I call Brav (Brav Ghede, a dead spirit with whom Edeline works frequently). Brav come and he say `Freda don’t want to talk to you.’ He beg Brav, tell her I’m sorry, tell her I’m sorry. Finally Brav tells him, `Okay. Freda say you got to go to Mass every day for 21 days, then you need to throw a big party for Freda. Then maybe she think about forgiving you.”[6]

Whether rich or poor, Vodouisants see the maryaj lwa as both a sign of devotion and a guarantee of success. The Vodouisant throws a party for the lwa and sets aside special days for the spirit’s honor. In exchange, s/he expects the lwa to provide support and protection. The maryaj lwa, like marriage and conjugal relationships, is as much a promise of mutual support as a sign of undying love. Kathleen Latzoni, an American woman who recently married Ogou, Damballah and Zaka, says that her maryaj had a pronounced positive effect on her life. “I’ve become much more productive at work; and while I still have a demanding job, I feel that things around the office have started to run more smoothly. I also feel less anxious and better able to cope with whatever life throws my way — no matter what happens, I’ve got somebody (or three somebodies!) on my side.” For Latzoni, the Maryaj also served as a community-building experience. “Even though my cultural background is very different from most of the Vodouisants I know in Brooklyn, I feel more bonded to them now, as if this shared experience gives us something in common.”[7]

 

[1]Sacred Arts of Haitian Vodou, Donald J. Cosentino, Editor. Los Angeles: UCLA Fowler Museum of Cultural History, 1995. p. xxiii.

[2]For an excellent and extensive study of the interplay between African religions and Catholicism in Haiti, see Leslie G. Desmangles, Faces of the Gods: Voodoo and Roman Catholicism in Haiti. (Chapel Hill, NC: University of North Carolina Press, 1993).

[3]Haitian Women’s Role in Sexual Decision-Making: The Gap Between AIDS Knowledge and Behavior Change (II. Presentation of Findings),  available at http://www.fhi.org/en/RH/Pubs/booksReports/haitiwom/haitpres.htm

[4]Cosentino, p. 292.

[5]From a post entitled “Living in the Spirit,” to the mailing list “VodouSpirit,” http://groups.yahoo.com/group/vodouspirit/, December 11, 2002.

[6]Conversation with Mambo Edeline St.-Amand, February 2003.

[7] Conversation with Kathleen Latzoni, October 2003.