A Laugh for Today

1. What did the weeks say to the boy when he was really worried about Thursday?
“Don’t worry, Friday is on its way”.

2. How can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
Yesterday, today, tomorrow

3. Where does Friday come before Thursday?
In a dictionary

4. Besides Tuesday and Thursday what other days start with T?
Today and Tomorrow

5. What do French people call a really bad Thursday?
A trajeudi

6. Why did the employee worry about his Friday being ruined?
Because it was still Tuesday morning.

7. What do you do when Thursday is standing outside your bathroom door?
You let it sink in.

8. An man goes to the Doctor. After examining him says, “You have some problems with your heart but I think if you take some tablets you’ll be okay“, So the doctor gives him some tablets and the man asks “Do I have to take them every day?
“No“, “take one on Monday, skip the Tuesday, take one on Wednesday, skip the Thursday, and so on like that.“ Two weeks later the doctor is walking down the street and sees the patient’s wife. “Hello Mrs P.“ He says “And how is your husband?“ “ he died of a heart attack,“ says Mrs P. “I am very sorry to hear that,” says the doctor, “I thought if he took those tablets he would be alright.“ “All the tablets were fine, “ says Mrs P. “It was all the skipping that killed him!“

9. My new girlfriend works as a bin lady. Trouble is, I can’t remember if she’s going to take me out Wednesday or Thursday!

10. I could retire today and live happily for the rest of my life, so long as I die by noon, Thursday.