A Little Humor for Your Day – Elderly Couple Anniversary

Elderly Couple Anniversary

An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in their home.

“Just think,” the old man says, “we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, naked as jaybirds, 50 years ago.”

“Well,” the old lady snickers, “what do you say — should we get naked?”

The two immediately strip to the buff and sit back down at the table. “You know, honey,” the little old lady says slyly, “My breasts burn for you now as they did 50 years ago.”

“I’m not surprised,” replies the old man. “One’s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!”

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A Little Humor for Your Day – 25 Signs You’ve Grown Up

25 Signs You’ve Grown Up

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

10. You’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff.”

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to,” replaces, “I’m never going to drink that much again.”

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that this doesn’t apply to you.”

Funny Humor

 

Simple Toothpaste

Simple Toothpaste

Ingredients

Baking Soda

Salt Water

Glycerin

Peppermint oil (if possible, if not, try dried parsley just make sure it doesn’t get stuck between your teeth!)

Mix 1/3 cup of baking soda, ½ teaspoon salt, water and glycerin until you have a past you are happy with. Use more or less water for the type of paste you wish–thinner or thicker.

Honey Hair Conditioner/Treatment

Honey Hair Conditioner/Treatment

Ingredients

½ cup of honey

2 tablespoons to ¼ cup olive oil, depending on how dry/damaged your hair/scalp is.

Combine together, mix well and saturate hair and scalp. Put on a shower cap on (or use a towel wrapped around your head, if you dnn’t have a shower cap)keeping the treatment on for 30 minutes. Then shampoo, and rinse as usual.