Ethics and Etiquette

Hello,

I would like to contribute the attached article, written by me, to the IBOS. This article may be reproduced for non-commercial purposes, providing that this original copyright notice stays in place at all times.

Thank you,

Morgaine

© Morgaine 2001

When we speak of ethics and etiquette in relation to pagansim what are we referring to? Are we speaking of outdated rules and actions that no longer have meaning and we only give lip service to? I don’t believe so. Ethics and etiquette are living, breathing codes of life, shaping our actions in relation to each other, and ourselves. They are a guiding force in the way we live our lives.

Let us first look at ethics. Ethics are defined as –a set of principles; moral philosophy; rules or standards governing the conduct of a person or the members of a profession; human duty; a particular system of principles and rules concerning duty, whether true or false; rules of practice in respect to a single class of human actions; motivation based on ideas of right and wrong; the philosophical study of moral values and rules.

When we begin to speak of ethics, we need to realize that this can be a very touchy subject. We are human after all, and we want to think our ethics are the correct ones. While there are generally accepted community ethics, it is personal ethics that make up who we are. And these are not the same for each person.

Before we begin to discuss in depth community and person ethics let us first look at the Rede, the most common code of conduct among Wiccans.

Bide the Wiccan law ye must, in perfect love and perfect trust;

Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill;

‘An ye harm none, do as ye will’;

Lest in self-defense it be, ever mind the rule of three;

Follow this with mind and heart;

And merry ye meet and merry ye part.

Every Wiccan knows the Rede. Our passwords into the sacred circle are in here. Our major rule of ethic is here. And the reason for breaking this ethic, as well as the consequences of breaking it foolishly. When we extract the line most popular –An ye harm none, do as ye will’ and begin to dissect it, we have to wonder “Is this an ethic we can every achieve?”

I believe the Rede is a standard of living, like all ethics, and one that is an impossibility to achieve. The goal is to live as closely to the Rede as possible. In the attempt to do this, we begin to analyze our actions. We follow the path of LEAST harm. Thus, we begin to live conscious of our actions, and how they effect the world around us. And here comes the REAL lesson of the Rede. It forces us to have personal responsibility. Once you have acknowledged that the Rede is a goal to work for and not a given situation, and have taken of the blinders that let you go around smug and happy that your religion is so sweet it makes your teeth itch, you can get down to the work of making your life an ethical one. What this involves is considering each decision in the light of the Rede before you decide upon a course of action. You do this by looking at all the possible consequences of that action and whether that will cause harm to any, choosing the path that causes the least harm and, (THIS IS THE KEY) accepting the responsibility for the consequences of your actions whether intentional or unintentional. -Lark, HPS of Tangled Moon Coven.

Wicca, as well as most Pagansim, is a religion and spiritual path of personal responsibility. We strive to live in an aware state. When we do this, we recognize our free will, and the free will of others. If we ignore the lesson of personal responsibility, we fail to realize our true spiritual potential and our true spiritual will.

As we begin our path, we must develop a set of personal ethics, while maintaining a respect for the ethics of the community we are becoming a part of. Some community ethics are very well defined.

-Don’t practice black magick, or follow the left-hand path.

-Don’t attempt to harm another or interfere with their free will.

-Always act in a way that will reflect well upon your path. Never do anything that will bring harm to the Craft.

Since Wicca, and pagansim, are very open paths and for the most part do not seek to make anyone follow ‘ONE RIGHT WAY’, most of the ethics defined by community are concerning harm to others, and harm to the Craft.

But to begin a spiritual path, and to follow it every day of your life, you must develop your own set of personal ethics that define the way you live. No one can tell you what your personal ethics should be. Your teachers, mentors, HPS, HP can all recommend both in word and deed, ethics that work for them. You may be given a ‘Book of the Law’ that governs your group or tradition. If you are a solitary, you may read on the net, or in a book, acceptable codes of conduct, or ideals. But you cannot take someone else’s ethics and make them your own. You must do some soul searching, and decide how you feel about things. Now I am NOT suggesting that you ignore your HPS or HP, or your teachers and mentors. I am suggesting that you should always temper wisdom with personal experience. You must come to a point that you are willing to question what you are taught, to grow in your own self. Through this, your own sense of ethics and morals will come.

Now, here comes the biggie. What do you do when your personal ethics are in direct conflict with accepted community ethics? For example-it has become a phenomenon in the pagan community to love everything white and full of light, and shun everything dark and full of shadow. It has become unacceptable to speak of negative emotions like anger and envy. It has become unacceptable to feel hate towards another person, wish that a murderer would get the death penalty, which that rapist would get castrated by a bunch of angry women. Some of us fondly refer to this a fluffy, bunny Wicca, no offense to anything fluffy, or bunnies. We are taught to love unconditionally because we are all brothers and sisters, connected to each other and every living thing. We are taught that if we experience these emotions, maybe we aren’t all that spiritual, and especially not as much as Miss crystal love and light. We are often looked down upon if we say something like ‘I am so damn mad at my ex husband I could smack him’. The response I myself have heard to such comment is ‘my my, now THAT wasn’t very positive’. Well, guess what. It WASN’T. Now I am not saying that you should indulge in these emotions. They can be deterrents to developing a sound spiritual identity because they are ‘negative’ in the sense that they are base emotions that do not vibrate on the spiritual plane. But they also teach us lessons that can lead to spiritual epiphanies.

Life is a balance between light and dark. Nature is both beautifully creative and frighteningly destructive. Inside of a single human there is light and shadow, and to be totally balanced we must learn to face both, experience both and therefore learn from both. So back to the original question. Let’s say you don’t feel that you are evil if you feel anger at another person or what have you. What do you do when community ethics conflict with your personal ethics? In my opinion, as long as what you are doing does not come into direct conflict with the good of the general community, or does not manipulate or purposefully harm another person, then your personal ethics should come first. You should not do something maliciously to another person. When you do this, you are not only harming yourself, but you are harming that person, AND the whole of the community. It is very important that our community not be sullied, and the reasons are obvious. But beyond this, your personal ethics should prevail.

Do ethics change over time? Do you think that the ethics of our ancestors of 100, 200 or even 1000 or more years ago are the same as what they are now? I believe that ethics are a revolving and ever changing system. Some become outdated, and some we should always keep. For instance, it has only been in the recent resurgence of Pagansim in the last 50-60 years or so that the belief of ‘An ye harm none, do as ye will came about’. In times past, a witch who could not curse, could not heal. Societies have not always believed that you should not harm another person, or that interfering with someone life was a bad thing. The old wise woman of a village was sought out for every reason from fertility, to love, to revenge. It has been in our time only, with the resurgence of beliefs and the discrimination that we face, that we have adopted some of the common ethics we now have. I am NOT saying this is wrong, or that we should go back to the ‘Old Ways’. In a society that we now living in, and the information is available for spiritual purposes, there is no longer a need to seek out the crone of the village and ask her to grant you revenge on your enemy. But this is the perfect example of how ethics change with time. At one time it was ethical for old men to mate with young girls. In our culture, it is no longer ethical. So ethics change, and so they should. Change is the only constant in the universe, and without it, we grow stagnate and our lives become filled with rot and decay. Change blows in new life to help recreate our lives, our beliefs and yes, even out ethics.

The other common code of conduct that we hear of in the Pagan community is ‘Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the Law, love under will.’ This comes from Aleister Crowley, from his book entitled ‘The Book of the Law’. Now knowing some of the things that we do about Crowley, it’s almost humorous to think of him in a discussion of ethics, except to point to what not to do maybe! But, this is a very powerful outlook on developing your own set of personal ethics.

In my understanding ‘Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the law, love under will’ does not mean you may do as you wish and that is it. It is speaking of your TRUE will, your TRUE purpose in life. And if you are following your true or higher will and purpose you will not come into conflict with another’s will so therefore you do not have to worry about stepping on anyone else’s toes. So you don’t have to worry about harming another, because you are in touch with the divine and you are following your own spiritual path and will, which will not cause harm or conflict with another. Of course, we still have conflicts with people. One way to look at this is as a spiritual lesson for either you or the other person. But if you are seeking to control another or harm another, this is not your true will. This is based upon the belief that every person is an individual, and as an individual you should be true to your own nature or consciousness. You must find your true will and make all of your actions subservient to the one great purpose. This again leads to conscious living.

If ethics are codes of personal and community conduct, then etiquette is a code of social conduct. Etiquette is defined as –the practices and forms prescribed by social convention or by authority; forms of conduct prescribed by polite society; code of correct conduct; also decorum denotes conformity with established standards of manners or behavior; the forms required by good breeding, or prescribed by authority, to be observed in social or official life; observance of the proprieties of rank and occasion; conventional decorum; ceremonial code of polite society; rules governing acceptable behavior.

Just like Emily Post and polite society, we in the Pagan community have behavior that is expected from us in how we interact with that community. In my opinion, etiquette is something sorely lacking in many Pagans. They are not taught certain things about how we interact with each other. This could be because maybe you didn’t have a teacher, or your teacher didn’t know them either. Or it could be because you or those who taught you just didn’t care, it wasn’t important to them. But I feel that etiquette is VERY important. It keeps us civilized, it aids us in how we interact and it shows the outside world that we know how to act.

Beyond the mundane world and it’s social etiquette, lets take a look at some things that are common among Pagan paths, especially the Wiccan path.

You should never touch someone else’s magickal tools and items without their express permission. If you see something you like and want to touch, then ASK. Don’t just hold out your hand for it, or just pick it up. A person leaves an imprint of their energy on what they touch, and they may not want someone else’s energy on their magickal items. This includes athames all the way to stones and jewelery. And do not take offense if you ask and are told no.
The way you live reflects on our whole community. You should always respect others, no matter their path. Inside your own religion thee is a certain higher respect given each other, as Children of the Goddess. This comes from a basic understanding of the hardships of the path, and the process we all go through in some way to evolve. It can be equated to any secret society and it’s initiation process and path of self-discovery. This path is not for everyone, and if you take it seriously, will change your life in ways you could never imagine. Any path that causes growth can be difficult. And we link with others that are going through the same thing we are and take strength from and learn from them.
We endeavor to hold ourselves to a high standard of living our spiritual lives that the mundane world does not. Therefor we support each other, lending a hand when the pitfalls of the world come about.
When someone gives of themselves to teach or guide, we recognize that person’s giving, and respect it. Not all of us are called to teach, and those who are offer a valuable service that should not be taken for granted.
When you are called to teach or guide, you have been given a very serious part to play in your community. You should never abuse it in any way. It also does not mean that you may use it as a way to gain power over, or look down upon any other person. We are all where we should be onour path, and it does not mean a thing that you have 10 or 20 years of service and someone else has 1. We are all equal in the eyes of the Gods. And if you are a teacher, you are held to an even higher state of conduct. You must never involve yourself in anything that could cause harm to your students or to the Craft. You should never do anything that would bring a bad light on us. For instance, you should never become romantically involved with one of your students. You should not condone the use of illegal drugs, or alcohol if the person is not of age. You should not use your position to control your students, or make them dependent on you. The goal is to aid a person on this path. You supply the seed as a teacher. You cannot take them by the hand and learn from them, or be easy on them when you should be honest.
In that same light, those who would be considered an elder in our faith are given a large amount of respect. The wisdom that is gained from following this path for 10, 20 or 30 years is an asset to our community, and we should respect the Elders of the community for what they have learned and what they teach us.
Due to the advent of the internet, there is a phenomenon growing among new seekers that is very disturbing. It involves not understanding the hard work it takes to learn the Old Ways, or the dedication and self sacrifice those who follow, and especially those who teach and guide give to the path. From this lack of understanding, new seekers think they can go to any page on the net, learn what they can and be done with it. It also leads them to think that they can ask for what they want, and someone will just hand it over. For example, I have been asked to send someone a copy of my BOS. This shows me that the person requesting this has no idea of what a BOS is, what it stands for and the process that is gone through to acquire it. This is flat out rude to begin with. This person is wanting their religion hand fed to them. They want to skip the hard work, the dedication, the pitfalls and the trials, and get right to the reward. This is simply not how it’s done. This person wants the secrets and mysteries handed to them on a silver platter, without having to leave the comfort of the computer chair and work for them. This isn’t possible. And I am here to say STOP. Be mindful of what you are asking. You can’t go to the net, read a page or two, then go ask someone for their BOS, or even ask them to teach you. There must be effort on your part. You are not an adept after reading a page, or a book, or even ten books. The mysteries cannot be handed to you on a silver platter and you are a master of the universe. This is what I call lazy Wicca, and through lazy Wicca you will never come to experience the mysteries, because they come through dedication, hard work and a personal dedication to the Gods.
Those who are out of the closet must NEVER give away the secrets of their brothers and sisters. You should never give any personal information. You should never tell the secrets of a coven, who it’s leaders are, who the members are or any other information. We must honor our vows and protect those who for whatever reason have chosen to remain hidden from the eyes of the world.
For those who are out of the closet, your life and your actions must be above reproach in the eyes of the world. As an open pagan, you may be the only one that a non pagan every sees. They will see every Pagan in you. So in all things you must be truthful. You must live with dignity and honor.

In our discussion of ethics and etiquette the point I was trying to impress upon you is this. We have become a society who thinks that we may do as we please, act as we please and there are no consequences. We fight with the Christians. We complain about how they fight amongst themselves. We sneer at them when they point to another of them and say how that person is wrong and they way they practice is wrong. And yet, WE DO THE SAME THING.

When I meet a fellow priestess, I treat her with respect as a person, and doubly so as a priestess, since I know how hard that path can be, to have dedicated your life and your service to the Gods and the Old Ways. If I meet someone who has been walking the path for 20 or 30 years, I respect that person because of the knowledge they have obtained in that time. That is not to say my 10 years is less, or they are ‘more spiritual’ than me. It is saying that this path is not an easy one all the time, and to have lived it every day for that amount of time is deserving of respect. I was taught as a child to respect my elders, and I believe that is still a valid lesson. The elders of this path can teach us things that we have never even thought of. At the same time, as an elder, you should always remember what it was like to take your first stumbling steps on this path, and how you may have longed for some guidance. It is just as wrong to be an elder, and act as if you know everything, or someone who is only 20 or whatever age could never be a spiritual person. We all must remember our ethics and etiquette, and encourage each other every day.

We have forgotten to practice our personal ethics, and have thrown etiquette out the window. We have forgotten Emily Post and Miss Manners, and have went on about our merry little way to fight like cats and dogs, without even offering basic human respect for those with diverging views, and this troubles me. It is a plague that is infecting our community. The Witch Wars continue. We struggle to make our way the right way, even if we don’t realize we are doing this. We forget the very basic teaching that we are all connected, and that all paths are valid, as long as they fulfill our spiritual needs.

Let us remember our ethics. Let us live our lives with honor, treating all of life with respect. Follow your own path, without interference into another’s. Work hard, study hard and receive the blessings of a life well lived.

How the Internet Changed Paganism

How the Internet Changed Paganism

Author: Vivienne
The Internet is a wonderful tool used by numerous people worldwide. Although some might not admit it, most people rely on the Internet for most things that they do. Now, how does this relate to Paganism, one might ask? Well it seems that the Internet has made information on Paganism and the various traditions that it encompasses (i.e. Druidism, Wicca, etc) more accessible to people now a days. There are many articles on Paganism available to read on the Internet (not all are good but there are many informative pieces out there) .

If it weren’t for the wonder that is the world wide Internet, I probably would not be on the spiritual path that I am today- I cannot say that for sure but it is improbable. To be honest, I can’t quite remember exactly how I ended up typing “Wicca” into the Google search engine on my laptop computer. However, what I do know is that for some reason I did and it led me to reading various articles on the religion, that I now call my own. It led me to discover that there is a spiritual path that seems to encompass basically everything that I believe- in terms of what the divine is. It felt to me like I finally had found the spiritual path that I was meant to be on. Many people will understand what I am saying by this; that something which had been missing was finally filled. In fact, Wicca helped me become a better person and Paganism in general, is something that I find myself feeling extremely passionate about.

Now, I am a very music oriented person and immediately after making my little “discovery”, if you will, I went to YouTube and listened to various Pagan chants. It was the reassurance that I needed to go out and buy a few books on Paganism in general and Wicca specifically. Now, my story may seem a bit off topic, but I assure you it is perfectly relevant. The point I am trying to make it that through the Internet I had found Paganism- without the Internet I probably wouldn’t have. I even learned much of what I know from Pagan Podcasts, which I listened to on iTunes.

I do not consider myself what some would refer to as a Techno Pagan, to be honest, however I do believe that technology heavily contributed to my finding my current spiritual path; and I do not doubt for one second that many others would have similar stories to mine. So this may be a bit repetitive, for I mentioned it in various forms throughout this article, but I am very grateful that the Internet helped lead me to my Pagan spiritual path.

Some people may argue that the Internet making information on Paganism more accessible to be a negative thing; that it is becoming too “mainstream” because of how easily people can learn about it through the Internet. However, I strongly disagree with the people who say that, sure it is their opinion and they have a right to it but it is something that I will argue with- because quite frankly I disagree with it.

For one thing, just because something is mainstream doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing at all. Sure some people may find that Paganism being a bit mysterious adds to its appeal. However, it is my belief that it also leads to some of the problems that people who do not consider themselves Pagan have with the spiritual path that we choose to follow. It is fair to say that generally people are afraid of what they don’t understand or what they don’t know. For example, most people are afraid of death because there is no one can definitively say what the afterlife is like, furthermore if there is even an afterlife. Sure we have many guesses about what comes after death but we never will really know. Therefore many people are afraid of death.

My analogy can apply to Paganism as well; some may see it as something that is to be feared and that it is something evil when in truth it’s not. But when something is shrouded in mystery then it is easier for people to be ignorant about not just Paganism, but anything in general. So basically what I am trying to say is that information about Paganism becoming more accessible to anyone isn’t a bad thing at all and in fact it is probably a good thing. If people at least have an idea of what something truly is, then it is probable that people will not jump to ignorant assumptions so much.

So basically, I think the Internet’s impact on Paganism in general has potential to be quite positive. In fact, I think it actually already is quite positive. Not only does it give basic information on our beliefs it also can help unite the Pagan community. Think about it, the Internet’s principle purpose is communication.

Even this article that I am writing is a form of communication using the Internet. I am communicating to you, the readers, my opinion on the matter of the Internet’s impact on paganism. Not only does the Internet help unite the Pagan community through *Witchvox (for example) , but other websites are helpful in allowing us the ability to communicate with one another.

Sites such as forums help us get to know about other members of the Pagan community as well as allow us to discuss and debate different issues and the like within our community. As well as communication, the Internet makes life easier for those of us who choose to remain “in the broom closet” do so. The web allows us to purchase things such as books, music, and tools for ritual, etcetera through the Internet. It allows those people anonymity that they may not have if they had to go to a Witch shop. Speaking of which- not everyone has a Pagan store where they live which is another way in which the Internet positively affects Paganism.

Any tools and such that one may need who do not happen to have a Witch shop where they live, have the ability to purchase whatever they might need through the internet. So in conclusion, the Internet has enabled us as Pagans to do so much. Communication, anonymity, and access to information being only some of the positive impacts that the Internet has made on Paganism.

Sure, one could argue that there may be some negatives when it comes to Paganism and the Internet. However, I ask you to ask yourself, is the Internet really making more of a negative impact on the Pagan community than a positive one? I certainly think not.

Footnotes:
Inciting a Riot Podcast- Hosted by Firelyte

Celtic Magick and Its Uses Today

For several decades there has been a growing interest in the old Pagan beliefs. People are seeking a more practical, personal system of belief, some way to be spiritual yet improve their lives. This includes Pagan Religion and magick, which is both practical and spiritual.

The Celtic and/or Druidic systems are generally thought of as being Irish, British and Welsh. In fact, the Celts at one time inhabited much of western Europe. Remains of their civilizations range from southern France and areas of Spain north into lowland Germany, the British Isles and Ireland.

It is not necessary to be of those racial backgrounds to practice Celtic magick. All that is needed is an interest in Celtic mythologies and magick itself, a deep sympathetic feeling for Nature and her powers.

Celtic magickal beliefs are firmly rooted in the Earth herself and in the elemental spirits that are the very essence of all Nature. This includes the four basic Elements which make up Nature: Earth, Air, Fire and Water.

The ancient Celts had a vast knowledge of, and respect for the healing and magickal qualities of plants and stones. They knew and used the power flows of the Earth, trees and special outcropping of rock. They called upon the elemental spirits, the “little people” of the Irish, the gnomes and fairies of the British.

But perhaps the strongest belief, almost unique among ancient peoples, was their devotion to the Great Mother, the mother and warrior goddesses. In fact the Celtic peoples, before Roman and Christian intervention, were one of the few races to give their goddesses equal footing with their gods.

This is not to say that other Pagan religions did not honor the Great Mother. But upon close inspection you will find that the male deities of most other pantheons were considered more important, more powerful. The goddesses were allowed their place in worship so long a their followers did not try to usurp the prime position of power which was always held by a male deity.

The goddesses of the Celts did not hold a secondary position in their worship or their legends. This respect bled over into Celtic society. As a result Celtic women were highly respected, having many rights of property, person and status. Priestesses were held in honor. Women were warriors as well as mothers, and had equal rights with men.

Did this harm or weaken the society or lessen the men? According to history, decidedly not. The Celts were one of the fiercest, most spiritually advanced races of the Old World, weakening only when they accepted and bowed to the inroads of Christianity.

The life of a Celt was filled with magick and its uses. Their intertwining artwork on jewelry, clothing, utensils and their houses was a form of magick meant to avert the evil eye and send back curses. They believed that their deities could appear in any place and at any time, that it was the duty of humans to call upon them for aid. They also believed that it was the responsibility of each person to do whatever he or she could to better his or her own life, and that decidedly meant the use of magick both small and large. To accomplish this, a person had to be continually willing to learn and grow.

To practice effective Celtic magick today, you must be willing to learn about and use plant and herb magick. Certain stones must be sought, enticed into your service, and cherished as reservoirs of energy. The powers of the elementals and Elements must be respected, petitioned for help and befriended. You must seek the ancient reservoirs of god-power that were built and fed by Celtic worship and which still exist today.

But most of all, you must suspend all the narrow definitions of reality you have learned. You must rethink what is possible or impossible, realizing that when certain actions are taken, nothing is impossible. The practice of these particular actions is the practice of what is known as magick.

Magick is a suspension of what we see, and a belief in and use of what we cannot see, but know instinctively is there. Celtic magick is simply applying that invisible ingredient in certain ways, using natural or Nature’s powers to improve life.

Magick cannot be tested in a laboratory, dissected and placed under a microscope. Magick lives in the mind of the user, manifesting itself in practical living. Pagan magick is both practical necessity and part of a religious experience. Pagans are people who live very much in reality. Long ago they realized that when you no longer have to struggle for everyday necessities, spitituality can be freely sought and more easily attained. They also know that when you can do for yourself, it is seldom that another person will be able to manipulate or control you against your will.

The time is right for Celtic magick to come back into its own place in the world. More and more people are dissatisfied with what they see as socially accepted religions. They are seeking along old pathways, clouded by disuse and overgrown by falsehoods. But the very search of these people is creating a fresh wind that will scour those ancient tracks. The way will become clear, the old wisdom will once again be found and put into practice. To those who seek, success and growth will come. Success will be visible in the improvement of life itself.

Pagan-thinking people do not tend to be followers of the accepted social norm. They are innovators, thinkers, pursuers of wisdom and spiritual growth. They know that improving you, the person, and your immediate life is as important as perfecting the spiritual you or the soul. A well-balanced personality and a successful life by whatever terms you define success, is the true guidepost along the ancient paths. Striving for these worthy goals and getting there are what really matter, not the opinions of others.

May you find your way down the ancient pathways to the Groves of Wisdom.

Circle Casting

Circle Casting

Why do we cast a circle? We cast a circle for protection from what may be attracted to what we are doing. There are times when spirits that do not wish us to succeed will be drawn by the power that we raise during a circle. Sometimes it is beneficial to cast a circle to lay down a boundary between the ill will that pagans sometimes encounter as they walk on their path. The circle itself is a reminder that we are now in a different time and space, and that this space is special.

The circle is a container as well. It is used to hold the energy that is raised until it is time to release it to whatever end we are working towards. If it was not there, the energy that we raised would have to be directed into a container rather than letting it swirl around in the one that has already been created. It is far easier to tell if there has been enough energy raised when you are moving directly through it than it is to tell if there is enough in the container.

Finally, the circle exists as a link to the people that have cast circles and gathered together in the past, and a link to those that will cast them in the future. It is a continuation of a chain that has evolved over thousands of years, passing information on and down throughout the ages. While there are very few religions that can trace their roots back into antiquity, it is undeniable that there are traces of those religions left, and that there are rites and ideas that have been passed down from one person to another throughout those long years. The circle is our way of trying to connect to those times gone by and it is our legacy to our children and their children for years to come.

Whether your circle has a physical boundary, a boundary of thought, or whether it is simply a grove of trees that is circular, the ideas are still there. The circle is a construct of the mind, an idea that passes between groups. It is the idea of a scares space and sacred time.

Why do we do ritual? Ritual is a way of trying to connect to something that is greater than the self. It is a link to other people and other beings; a link to times past and future. When people come together to celebrate their idea of the sacred, it is a sharing of something that is intangible and profound. It is a way to experience the divine that surrounds us in nature and is a part of ourselves that is not always understood. Ritual is a time for joy to be expressed in the celebration of the seasons and a time for sorry to be shared in the cycles of life that take our friends and loved ones from us and a time for everything in between.

It seems almost innate for people to come together to share this idea of the sacred. While the idea of what sacred is varies from people to people, there are very few cultures that do not espouse some version of the ideas of the sacred being a time set apart from secular life. Many cultures choose to make the goals of the two similar, thus ensuring that both are successful. Religion, it would seem, is something that is almost an inborn need of humans, a way of processing the things that we do not understand and of being able to celebrate them.

Why do we place the elements of ritual in a particular order? The simple answer is that it makes it easy for more than one person to follow what is happening when there is a common order to what is being done. The not so simple answer is that there is a logical progression from start to end to rituals that allow people to perform their rites in the simplest and easiest manner possible, allowing more people to participate.

Paganism is a group of religions that tends to frown on a centralized religious structure, and so it is important that more people be able to perform these rituals. Simplicity and structure gives the ability of those who do not wish to spend years mastering the smallest component of a ritual to participate as well. Common sense also plays a part in the order of a ritual. For most people, it makes sense to cast a circle and cut it off from the world outside before inviting the gods and elements as it is somewhat rude to make them stand around and wait, or call them and then cut them off from the ritual as you cast your circle. Some, however, find that it makes more sense to cleanse and purify the area, bring everyone in, and then cast the circle and invite the gods. Still others call the gods first and then cast the circle. As with anything, each person must decide what works best for them and why.

Where do we place things in a ritual? When thinking about where to place an event in a ritual, it is necessary to examine that event to find out what the results might be, or the reason that it is being done. If you are going to Draw Down the Moon (Call a Goddess into a person), then you need to consider just how tiring this is going to be for that person. Will they want to run and jump around to raise energy after? Is the Goddess likely to want that sort of thing?

If a person were going to do a drawing down for a God and Goddess, doing that before the Great Rite would make sense as it is a rite that takes the opposites of male and female and uses that polarity to make the rite that much stronger. Ritual creation takes the ability to think about the small details such as this and form them into a larger, successful whole.

How do we know when it is right to do something and when it is not? Start to decide this by thinking of the outcome of the ritual. What is the purpose that you are getting together for? If you are doing a healing, it would be good to invite gods that have that particular aspect. If you are doing a binding or a deconsecration, choose gods that deal with endings. If you are celebrating Beltaine, a fertility holiday, don’t invoke a Crone goddess who is past her fertile years.

The yardstick that any witch must use in creating a ritual is “Does it make sense to do it this way?” If it does not make sense, then find a different way of doing the event that does. There is no limit to what can be done with ritual. There is no right or wrong way to do a ritual. If it does not make sense to call the quarters, then don’t. Because something has always been done need not mean that it should always be done. Similarly, don’t throw out tradition unless it makes sense to do so.

Empowerment Charm

Mistress/Master of the Universe.

I, (state your name), your Wiccan son/daughter,

do ask you to instill in this object (state your desire) so that it will function for me in the best way possible, and carry your essence and power to the end of its day. I know you will do this for me.

So Mote It Be

Harm None and the Rede?

Harm None and the Rede?

Author: Phoenix Sol

The rede is a very important thing to me and most other Wiccans I know, and some other branches of Paganism. However I feel that this important piece is highly misunderstood by a lot of the community. I have seen it again and again so I thought that I would maybe try to clear up a few important points that I have found.

Please read the whole thing before you judge my above statement, I understand that some of you might disagree with the points I am about to make and I respect your different views and opinions even if I do not personally agree. You can feel free to think what you think but I have not heard my view put out there in the past so I feel that I must do it now.

‘Harm none.’ What do these two words imply? To harm nothing would be to not exist. To live is to cause harm and death so that the cycle of life can go around. There are microorganisms in the air that when you breathe you kill them. Every time you eat you are causing harm, if you eat meat then someone had to end the life of your meal and even if you don’t eat meat then you are still causing harm to the plant you are eating, for it too was a living organism.

Anything you say can harm another human, even if you tell your religion to a loved one who is against it then you are harming them in some way. If someone attacks you then you would you use what you could to survive or let him or her do what they will because you refuse to cause harm on them? The latter option is impractical, unsafe, and if you chose it you probably would not be mentally all right even if you did live through it.

I do not know why people can think that they truly follow this code in life when it is clearly out of the questions in some situations. However is it even a code?

People who claim to ‘harm none’ do so usually by following the rede thinking that this is what the rede says. However the rede I have found and follow says, ‘An ye harm none, do what ye will.’ The two words mentioned earlier are by no means the only part of the rede as it consists of all eight words. If the eight words were there then it would stand to reason that all of them would share an equal importance.

As mentioned above, I have a very hard time excepting that the only two words in the rede that are important is ‘harm none’ because then the rest of the rede would not be there at all. This is not a short story either where words just get thrown in even if they have little to no meaning within the context of the larger story. This is one sentence that every word has to be perfectly chosen and placed in order to make the meaning get across in such a short amount of space.
In modern language this translates into, ‘if you harm none then you may do as you will.’

Note again it does not say only ‘harm none.’ The ‘if you, ’ or ‘an ye, ’ implies the choice. Such as if a mother said to their child, ‘if you eat your dinner then you may have your chocolate cake.’ If you do something then you will get a sort of reward in return. I know that this is not the basis of Wicca, or Paganism in general, but it is the best example I can come up with for trying to get across my point. So now that we have established what the first four words mean lets move on to the next four.

‘Do what ye will.’ Now this part I feel is much more straightforward than the first four words. It is well known that in Paganism there is no dogma that you MUST follow and there are no rules that direct your behavior. We do not condemn as some monotheistic religions do, threatening with hell fires and the like. However as this alone would make sense, the Pagan paths to not look for this type of behavior as you have to have some structure (what that structure is depends on the particular path that you choose to follow) . But you should also realize that this is also not quite what the rede is telling us. The last part is that we have to take the two parts discussed so far and add them together.

Now there is another common misunderstanding of what it says at this point. I would like you to realize now that if the rede meant to say that you could do whatever you want as long as what you do doesn’t do harm then it would have been worded much differently. It would read, ‘Do what ye will, if ye harm none.’ Think again of the parent and child, this situation would say something along the lines of ‘you can only play in the park if you don’t use the sandbox.’ And yet again this is not how the rede is read.

What it is saying, however, is that if what you are doing causes no harm then you can do it freely. It is not commending the action of causing harm but implying that you may not do harm lightly, with no purpose. Harm is inevitable and the rede I lives by tells me that a logical reason, such as surviving or happiness or well being, is necessary if one decides that they need to cause harm. Harm should not be done without reason however it is inevitable.

This is the rede I live by, ‘An ye harm none, do what ye will.’

Now again this is just how I view the rede and it may be interpreted differently. I will respect other views on it but I would like to say that some things are plain impossible for humans to accomplish.

The Fluffy Bunnie

The Fluffy Bunnie

Author: Anniekate

Having been told what the definition of “fluffy bunnie” is by the more supposed ‘learned’ in the Pagan/Wiccan community, I thought it was long overdue that I go on a quest and find out what a ‘fluffy bunnie’ really is. Researching it a bit has been an embarrassing as well as eye opening experience because of the abundance of incorrect information or just plain ‘opinions as facts’ that I have found in my search.

Rejected by a LiveJournal group as being ‘too new’ (This status apparently being one of the main fluffy bunnie indicators) , I had my ideas shot down because I was not as experienced as those who apparently have been practicing magic since popping out of the birth canal or have a long lineage of practicing magic folk in their ancestry. Hah!

One of the ideas often held by the fluffy bunnie is the idea one is automatically Pagan/Wiccan after reading one book. Nonsense. The Bible is a collection of more than one book — it is in reality 66 books — and reading the entire Bible does not make one a Christian. Becoming a Christian (for the ones who actually are) is a life changing experience, with the Bible being a guide in the mundane as well as spiritual life. Being raised Christian, going to church every Sunday, even attending a Christian college does not automatically make one a Christian. Same rules apply in Wicca.

Another part of the fluffy bunnie phenomena, I have heard, is the wearing of 50-million chains about the neck and dressing like Dracula. Unless you are a Goth, most Pagan/Wiccans look like everyone else. That does not mean however, that a true Wiccan/Pagan cannot wear what they want, even if it is a lot of jewelry, or black clothing.

There is no rule against being Goth and Pagan/Wiccan. Ask Raven Digitalis, or is he considered a fluffy bunnie because he can pull off both? Even if one is considered a fluffy bunnie like Silver Ravenwolf, is it not possible to learn from her anyway? Maybe on what NOT to do and maybe some of her thoughts and ideas can be beneficial? We study history to (hopefully) learn from the past. Not everything from the past has been a lesson in success and the best of human behavior. We can learn from our history on what is the worst in humankind as well.

People new to being Pagan/Wiccan are considered fluffy bunnies for no other reason than for being new. It is ridiculous and very shortsighted of people to think that they cannot learn something from another who may not be as old or as much of an expert on a subject than someone else. No matter what, there is always going to be an older and smarter individual than you are. If you do not think that is true, you live in a make believe world occupied by cute pink elephants, or your head is stuck in a dark place and we will not specify where.

There are teachers out there, or experts, who know full well they learn more from their students than another teacher. Children are more open-minded to things than adults are. They are like sponges soaking up information and knowledge like it was food. Children are ‘newbies’ to life, yet they have a lot to teach us if we in turn can be open-minded enough. Great ideas are created not just by the experts, but also by those who have a fresh view of the idea that the expert may not have even considered.

To be blunt, there are a lot of Pagan/Wiccans who believe that some of the hallmarks of fluffy bunnies are found in “those who refuse to learn, refuse to think, and refuse to consider the possibility that they could be wrong.” (Catherine Noble Beyer, 2002-2009)

Well, that could be true of many people, experienced or not. Wow. However there are people who do claim to be Pagan/Wiccan for shock value and think it is really neat to curse people, or become Pagan/Wiccan because it is the exact opposite of Christianity. These people are fluffy bunnies. They are not truly Pagan/Wiccan, but are looking for something else. Maybe some therapy is in order.

This is not to say that someone who has been raised Christian all his/her life cannot become Pagan/Wiccan. Some of us were raised in that environment, but have always known that they never fit in, or they never bought into the dogma that just what the ‘church’ says could be right or wrong. It is also untrue that someone who has been in a predominantly male religion/lifestyle cannot be Pagan/Wiccan, as discovering the Goddess for the first time is like a breath of fresh air, and/or like coming home. The teenage rebel might also become a true Pagan/Wiccan, as some of us have discovered that being Pagan/Wiccan can bring more peace and harmony to one’s life.

Fluffy Bunnies supposedly believe that there is light, love, harmony, and all those wonderful Tele Tubby type feelings, and no bad stuff. Really? Take a look at the Ying Yang symbol. There is duality in all things: light and dark, good and bad, male and female, etc. Some actually believe we cannot have good without evil, or light without dark. The fact is, everywhere you look there are opposites and they coexist with one another. Human beings are capable of the greatest feats of courage, goodness, and love, as well as capable of cowardice, evil, and hate. You only have to turn on the news, look on the Internet, and read a paper to know that this is a fact.

There was a discussion question up on an Internet group on the subject of lying. Some felt that since some in the animal kingdom use the art of deception, lying is really not that big of a deal. It is just a ‘rule’ that one can choose to follow or not. Some believe that lying is like throwing a rock into a body of water, and the ripples from it, spread ever wide. Others think it is okay to lie if it is a ‘white lie’ to protect a person, like saying your 300-pound friend looks lovely in an outfit that is not flattering to her.

A friend said this, “On the issue of lying, I don’t think there is an answer. Maybe the closest one was actually in a little book of anecdotes from the Buddha’s life that I skimmed through once, while loitering in a bookstore. In Buddhism, the gravest sin is lying. However, even the Buddha had to tell a lie once, out of compassion. Thus, sins must sometimes be subservient to virtues. And the highest virtue of Buddhism is compassion.”

Most people agree that telling your wife you are home late because of work when truthfully you instead were out cheating with her best friend are two different things. But maybe not. Depends if you buy into the idea that lying is a man-made rule and not a natural one. I might buy that if I was actually an animal and needed deception to catch my lunch or avoid being one. Hopefully, as human animals, are more evolved than that.

Everyone who is Wiccan or Pagan, Buddhist, and even Christian, has their own path to follow, one that another may not agree with. Your relationship to the Universe, God, Lord and Lady, or the Spaghetti Monster, IS going to be different than another person’s because we are all individuals. Each one’s path is as unique as the individual — otherwise it is not a spiritual path you are following, but a cookie recipe. And let’s face it; even though you use the same cookie recipe over and over again, you know that sometimes the cookies do not always turn out the same way each time. Maybe this is an oversimplification, but you get the general idea.

No human being on the planet is perfect, including Pagans/Wiccans. No one is going up for sainthood anytime soon. However, that does not mean that we cannot try and act like adults, even when we disagree with one another. That includes not lowering ourselves to name-calling.

Calling someone a “fluffy bunnie” because you do not like what he/she has to say or because he/she holds a differing opinion than you or your clan does, is childish and immature. And the reason why some of us know this is because we have been guilty of it ourselves.

No, we are not all going to get along. To believe that just because we are Pagan/Wiccan, and someone else is too, does not mean that they or we are going to act somehow better than anyone else because they and we both claim to be Pagan/Wiccan. There are bad and good people and so it stands to reason that there are going to be bad and good Pagans/Wiccans. To think that a person claiming to be Pagan/Wiccan cannot possibly be a bad person is another sign of the “fluffy bunnie syndrome”.

The one thing that can work to counteract the whole fluffy bunnie thing is knowledge. However if a fluffy bunnie does not think that he/she needs to be educated beyond the one or two authors he/she has read, it is going to be an uphill battle. And there is no use in trying to fight with these people to change their minds, as you get sucked into the nonsense right along with them.

You can hope that they come to their senses, grow up a little, and realize that some of their preconceived ideas on what being Pagan/Wiccan was all about were not exactly accurate. At one time, all of us who claim to be Pagan/Wiccan were beginners. We all made mistakes. We held innocent and naive ideas on what Pagans/Wiccans were really all about. We were pigheaded enough to think that we were right — even though we were not – and we did all of the other things that newbies do and get called fluffy bunnies for.

To say that you never did this is being dishonest and you are doing the very thing actual fluffy bunnies do: refuse to learn. Being Pagan/Wiccan means learning those tough lessons and hopefully changing as a person by growing from the errors that we make.

Footnotes:
http://wicca.timerift.net/fluffy.shtml
http://www.soulrebels.com/beth/fluffy.html
http://www.radicalsapphoq.blogspot.com/2007/02/thoughts-on-bashing-fluffy-bunnies-by.html

A Wiccan’s Rant on “Wiccans”

A Wiccan’s Rant on “Wiccans”

Author: Sunbear

I’m a young, American, teenage Pagan raised Christian and brought up going to church every Sunday. When I was in 9th grade my parents found out (I was outed by a friend’s dad) . My dad almost cried and my mom wanted an exorcism performed. Over the years they’ve grown more used to the fact and my mom has pretty much adopted paganism too. Sound familiar?

Almost every Pagan I’ve met since I began my spiritual journey was raised Christian, but most of the Pagans I’ve met are teenagers as well. Converting from one religion to another is something I feel is important, because religion should be something you choose yourself and not something chosen for you. But, and I’m sure there are plenty of you who agree, there are quite a few teenagers who are converting (and I use the term loosely) for the wrong reasons.

Go to the mall, to the movies, the boardwalk, anywhere where there are lots of young people, and you’ll see them. Dark clothes, black eyeliner, maybe some bright hair colors, and it’s very likely that one or more will be wearing a pentacle without any grasp or knowledge of what the symbol, and the religion they are representing, means.

Now, let me make one thing very clear, because I’m sure that I just ticked a lot of people off. I’m not in any way shape or form putting down the gothic subculture. I’ve met many pagans who considered themselves goth and were very committed to the craft. There are many wonderful books on gothic Paganism, Gothcraft and Nocturnal Witchcraft, to name only two.

The only point I’m trying to make is that sometimes young teenagers will want to be rebellious and disappoint mommy and daddy for a laugh, or try to make themselves look cooler or more “hardcore”, so not only will they go to Hot Topic and outfit themselves with the latest goth clothing, they’ll strap on a pentacle and change their religion thing on MySpace to “Wiccan”.

I go to a technical school for Advertising Art and Design, and in the Cosmetology (makeup and hair) shop in my school, there’s a girl who will remain unnamed. She is in the middle of her own rebellious phase, and about a month or two ago, I looked on her MySpace and saw that she was supposedly a “Wiccan”. Surprised, I sent her a message and said I had never known before, I’d been practicing for a while and if she ever needed any help or advice to let me know.

When I got around to logging back in about a week later, she had replied my message and said this: “Well I actually don’t kno 2 much bout it i keep lookin stuf up bout it on the internet but all i get is stuff on witches! Lmao!”

I had two very strong urges at the same time. The first was to laugh as hard as I could; the second was to drive over to her house and shake her. I’m sure you all know the feeling.

Then, about three weeks ago I was at Wal-Mart with my boyfriend. We were checking out when the clerk asked me if I was “into that gothic stuff”. I checked myself over. Blue jeans, green, flowered T-shirt, and a brown hoodie.

I guess I looked confused, because he pointed at my chest and said, “You’re wearing a pentagram. Aren’t gothic people normally into that type of thing?”

I quickly explained that it was called a pentacle, that it didn’t have anything to do with devil worship (I know he didn’t ask, but it just starts to slip out after a while, you know?) , and that it was a religious symbol and not a fashion statement.

These two incidents are not isolated. I’ve spoken to a lot of people who were wearing a pentacle necklace who clearly described themselves as either Pagan or Wiccan, who gave explanations of their spiritual path as things like “I don’t believe in God” or “I wanted to explore the darker side of religion”, and I can’t help but wonder where these people are getting their information!

I mean, I know that we all have a different view of our spirituality — that’s what modern Paganism/Wicca is — but it kind of offended me that someone said he/she was a Wiccan because he/she didn’t believe in God. That’s just furthering the stereotype that we are a godless religion that worships a satanic figure.

I hate to think that a Christian person could ask these people about Wicca or Paganism and get an answer like that! I know that sometimes when I’m asked about my spiritual path one of the first questions is “Why don’t you believe in God?”

When that kid told me he was a Wiccan because he didn’t believe in God, I asked, “Do you mean you don’t believe in the Christian God?”

To which he replied, “No, I don’t believe in any God.”

I asked him where he got his information on Wicca, and he said that somebody told him about it and he thought it sounded cool because he could do magick! I immediately told him that that person obviously didn’t know what they were talking about and I gave him a run-down on what Paganism/Wicca really is. And he said that the Einstein who gave him the information didn’t tell him anything at I had just said. After our conversation he was no longer interested in the religion at all.

There are so many misconceptions about us as a group already that it scares me a little bit that there are people who walk around with no idea what they’re talking about spewing false information into the world.

How the Internet Changed Paganism

How the Internet Changed Paganism

Author: Vivienne

The Internet is a wonderful tool used by numerous people worldwide. Although some might not admit it, most people rely on the Internet for most things that they do. Now, how does this relate to Paganism, one might ask? Well it seems that the Internet has made information on Paganism and the various traditions that it encompasses (i.e. Druidism, Wicca, etc) more accessible to people now a days. There are many articles on Paganism available to read on the Internet (not all are good but there are many informative pieces out there) .

Footnotes:
Inciting a Riot Podcast- Hosted by Firelyte

How Pagan is “Pagan Enough”?

How Pagan is “Pagan Enough”?

Author: Bronwen Forbes

A couple years ago I attended a Pagan pride celebration as a workshop presenter. I won’t mention the name of the city, but will tell you it was in the southern part of the country – which means that even at the end of September the temperature was expected to hover near one hundred degrees by the middle of the afternoon’s events. Consequently I dressed my family, including my then 18-month-old daughter, in shorts and t-shirts. Silly me, I thought the attire was perfectly appropriate for the heat and the event.

Apparently I did not get the memo that “appropriate attire” for a beastly hot Pagan Pride event was flowing skirts (at least for the females) , glitter, and faerie wings and/or fuzzy cat ear headbands. Ordinarily this wouldn’t bother me, but a few days after the event I received a nasty email from one of the other attendees wanting to know how I *dared* show my face, much less present a workshop when I clearly wasn’t “Pagan enough” (the e-mailer’s words) to be there. My fellow attendee even went so far as to ask me how dare I call myself Pagan.

Ever since then I’ve spent a lot of time looking at my fellow festival or Pagan Pride attendees, comparing my appearance to theirs. Shallow? Yes. A sign of low self-esteem? Maybe, but I do it anyway. And what I’ve discovered is that, for the most part, I just don’t look particularly Pagan.

For one thing, I recently cut my hair after several decades of wearing it mid-back length in an effort to look more professional for my post-college job search (it didn’t work, and now I’m kinda stuck with short hair, but that’s another story) . Worse, I’ve even allowed my daughter to have hers cut just as short – and what kind of Pagan mom allows her child of either gender to have above-the-shoulder-length hair? It seems to be an unspoken rule that Pagan women have long hair. Does short hair make me not “Pagan enough”? *I* don’t think so, but judging by some of the looks I receive when I’m out in Pagan public, I’m guessing some people do.

I also prefer baggy jeans over Indian print skirts, t-shirts (admittedly ones with folk music, Celtic or Pagan motifs, or plain old-fashioned tie-dye) over peasant blouses, sneakers over sandals (Birkenstocks excepted) , daily showers over regular patchouli oil spritzes, and the only person in my family who owns a fuzzy cat-ear headband is my daughter. I also wear my religion-identifying necklaces tucked inside my clothes unless I’m in ritual. Not only am I in danger of ending up on an episode of “What Not To Wear, ” I could be ticketed by the Pagan fashion police any day now!

I heard a story once (and I can’t remember the source, to my chagrin) from someone who attended an indoor Pagan festival like Arisia or Pantheacon and wore business casual clothes – khaki pants and a button-down shirt – one day. Sad to say, this person received a lot of odd looks, and even reported that fellow attendees were very cool and standoffish, giving definite “You don’t belong here” looks. The next day, according to the story, the attendee appeared in more Pagan-y attire. Needless to say, the reaction of the rest of the conferees was much more warm and welcoming. If we as a religious movement believe that one of our tenets is Respect Another’s Path, the standoffish Pagans at this event were clearly the ones who were not “Pagan enough” – despite their attire.

Speaking of paths, I also started to take a very close look at my own – something I was also asked about at that same Pagan Pride day. Apparently my reluctance to answer (topic for another essay: where I come from, asking someone specifically about their path is usually considered rude) and my not-very-eloquent answer wasn’t good enough. My angry e-mailer took me to task for that, too. I guess compared to an Asa Tru Corellian Reconstructionist (the e-mailer, near as I could tell) , yes, my spiritual path is probably pretty dull.

But who is to say which path is “Pagan enough” and which path is not? If I serve a specific dog-connected deity by caring for and training my beagle, is that more or less a Pagan activity than organizing a weekly drumming circle? What if I’m a pretty decent dog owner/trainer and a lousy drummer? Does that make me not “Pagan enough”? It shouldn’t. But sometimes it feels like it does.

I have to admit that I’ve accused others of not being “Pagan enough” in the past. Back when I lived on the East Coast, ran or co-ran a major Pagan festival, led a coven, attended the monthly Pagan coffeehouse/concert on a regular basis, and held office in the local Pagan umbrella organization (that oversaw the major festival and coffeehouse/concert) I often thought that anyone who was not as active in the community as I was couldn’t possibly be “Pagan enough.” I was convinced of this…until I moved away from the East Coast to the Midwest – a part of the country that has a much lower concentration of Pagans than what I was used to. I literally had to rethink my definition of “Pagan enough” overnight. When there is no festival to organize, when there is no coffeehouse to attend or community offices to run for, is Bronwen still even Pagan, much less “Pagan enough”?

Of course the Pagans I then met who didn’t include so many – if any – open activities in their spiritual life probably wondered the same thing about me, only in reverse. After all, just because I’d been invoking the four directions for decades didn’t mean I had the first clue how to actually *use* those directions to, say, drive to someone’s house (“Turn north at Vermont Street.” “Is that left or right?” “It’s north.”) . I got lost a lot. And which, ultimately, is the more Pagan activity – attend a concert in a city with too much light pollution to see the sky or spend five minutes in the middle of a small-town street admiring every star in the galaxy because you can actually *see* them? Either way you choose, you won’t be “Pagan enough” for someone. Trust me.

Just because a person chooses to dress or participate to a different standard than you’re used to or you think appropriate, stop for a moment and wonder why. I’ve worn loose, flowing skirts and peasant blouses and, yes, patchouli oil and glitter at Pagan gatherings back when I was a) single, b) child-free and c) younger. I can still “dress the part” with the best of them – when I choose to, and sans faerie wings. But the previously-mentioned Pagan Pride Day was in a rather large city a couple hours from the small town I was currently living in, and my family had made plans to do some “big city” shopping after the event. I know I’m not the only Pagan who shops at Sam’s Club and Petsmart, but I see no need to advertise my religion in these places. Does this make me not “Pagan enough”?

In short, my fellow Pagans, if you’re an Asa Tru Correllian Reconstructionist, don’t snub the Neo-Wiccans you meet (conversely, Neo-Wiccans, don’t snub the Asa Tru Correllian Reconstructionists) . If you’re comfortable wearing a suit to ritual, it doesn’t mean you’re any less a Pagan than the person next to you wearing a black crushed velvet cape. The only person who can judge whether you’re “Pagan enough” is you. With confirmation from your God (s) , of course!

“You Lied!” Some Thoughts on Honesty and Pagan Practice

“You Lied!” Some Thoughts on Honesty and Pagan Practice

Author: Bronwen Forbes

When I first began to formally study Paganism, it was drilled into my head over and over: “A witch is only as good as his or her word.” In other words, there is a direct relationship between the quality and effectiveness of your magick and how good you are at telling the truth and keeping promises.

Which makes sense, when you think bout it, because say, for example, you are doing a working to find a new job and you promise Hestia that if you get a job you will volunteer so many hours a week a the local soup kitchen in Her name. Then suppose you promise your friend that you will meet her for lunch and something better comes up and you break your promise to your friend. Why, then, if you don’t keep your word to your friend should Hestia have any reason to believe you’ll keep your promise to her? Odds are you won’t get that new job if Hestia has anything to do with it.

This is partly a matter of will. If magick is, as some say, “change in accordance with will, ” this implies t hat a person’s will is pretty important. And a major component of will is the strength to do what you say you will do – no matter how hard that may become. If your word is good, chances are your will and your magick will be pretty strong.

I was also taught that it’s okay to lie if it’s a matter of life and death. I would say: evaluate the situation very carefully before choosing to lie “for the greater good.” Let me give an example. About eight years ago I was a very busy volunteer with a local no-kill animal rescue organization. I was also – and still am – totally, utterly and completely smitten with beagles.

So when I saw a miserable shy little beagle on our town’s high-kill Humane Society’s web page, I leapt into action. I tried to adopt Joe the Shy Beagle, stating openly that I was a volunteer with the no-kill rescue group. The folks at the Humane Society wouldn’t let me have him, stating that they were afraid I’d just turn around and adopt him out to someone else. We went back and forth on this issue for a few days while Joe cowered in the back of his cage. Meanwhile, the clock ticked down to the day that Joe was scheduled to be euthanized. And since no one wants to adopt a dog that’s literally paralyzed with fear (except me, apparently) , I was running out of time if I wanted to save Joe’s life.

So I lied.

I told the staff at the Humane Society that my husband had completely fallen in love with Joe and we now wanted to keep him. And a day later I brought Joe home. Within a month I’d sent him to live with my mother after he freaked out because the neighborhood kids had gone a little overboard with Fourth of July fireworks. He’s been with my mother ever since.

Did I do the right thing? On the surface, yes I did. I deliberately lied – and made my husband lie – in order to save an animal’s life; an animal, I should add, that my mother loves very much. For years I used this example to teach my students to think about their actions and the ethics of those actions. I was actually proud of the fact that I’d saved Joe’s life and cited the whole incident as an example of “harm none; all life is sacred.”

Except there’s more to the story. My family currently lives with my mother, which means we live with Joe. Beagles are, in general, cheerful, outgoing, friendly, cuddly, happy little dogs. Eight years after I pulled him out of the back of his cage at the Humane Society, Joe is still none of these things. He cowers, snarls at the other dogs, and (most disturbingly) if startled by motion four or five feet away, snaps at my five-year-old daughter (who was raised with dogs and knows how to behave around them) . It’s only a matter of time before he bites her. Joe is also slowly dying of stress-related health issues.

Had I not lied to the Humane Society staff all those years ago, Joe would have lived a few more days and been humanely euthanized by a painless overdose of barbiturates. But I did, and now I get to watch a desperately unhappy dog take years to die by inches – and possibly do serious damage to my child before he goes.

Did I ultimately do Joe any favor? In my opinion, no. Have I done him harm? Absolutely. And that, gentle readers, is bad magick.

There are also less painful, more practical spiritual reasons to keep your word and live as truthful a life as possible. For example, if you aspire to join a British Traditional or a British Traditional-based coven, you’re going to be expected to swear at least a few oaths. And these groups take these oaths pretty seriously. In other words, if you’ve developed a reputation in the community for being flaky about commitments or gossiping (breaking your word) spreading wild stories or inventing training/lineage credentials (lying) or you’re just generally an all-around unreliable person, you’re not going to be invited to join an oath-taking group. Of course, even if you’re not interested in joining a traditionally-minded group, it would still be nice not to have a bad reputation in the community, wouldn’t it?

On the other hand, and completely tongue-in-cheek here, the “white lie” rules that apply outside the Pagan community apply here, too. In other words, if anyone of any gender asks you, “Does this robe make me look fat?” your best option is, of course, to say no!

But in all seriousness, being as truthful as possible can only make you a better practitioner, a better covener, a better community member, and an all-around better person. We need more of those. I think Joe the Beagle would agree.

Essential Pagan Etiquette

by Amanda Silvers

I have been to a number of “open pagan events” recently, and I’ve observed that some people don’t seem to know the generally understood codes of conduct. Since I hadn’t seen a good piece on pagan etiquette for a good long spell, I thought I’d put a few of my reflections on paper.

I know that not everyone will know how things should go, for example if you’ve never attended a ritual before. That’s okay; every one of us began somewhere, and we didn’t know how to act either! If you’re a beginner, say so. People will help you and introduce you around and forgive your faux pas (if you make any).

On the other hand, most of my suggestions will come as nothing new to many of you. Practically all standard rules of courtesy pertain to pagan events and gatherings.

The following bits of advice, some general and some specific, cover open pagan events, festivals and rituals. They are commonly relevant to private functions as well. Don’t regard them as comprehensive, though. Always investigate and find out whether there are any special rules for the gathering that you are planning on attending.

Arrival times

Arrival times are frequently set at a certain interval of time preceding the actual beginning of the ceremony, feast or festivity. For example: Arrival time 4 p.m., ritual to follow at 6 p.m., feast after, then drumming. This time interval is generally built in – for latecomers, for people to get their energy settled, visit, have a drink or bathroom visit and so on.

Check with the high priestess, host or event coordinator to confirm that this is the custom of the group you are joining for the event. Festivals generally have a set time at which the space opens, and you cannot arrive prior to that. There is often an opening festival ritual that you will want to attend. Try to arrive in time to participate; it helps the whole group feel cohesive and connected in a different way than if you miss it.

Double-check times always, and don’t arrive after the rite has begun unless you’ve cleared it with the hosts ahead of time. It is generally safe to arrive a bit early and volunteer to help with setup. Particularly if you are new to the area or are attending an event put on by a particular group for the first time, assisting will give the impression that you are sociable and helpful, and people will remember you.

If you do arrive early, and the ritualists are conferring or doing a pre-ritual run through, don’t disturb them!

Certain groups have a policy to lock the door after a certain time, and you won’t be able to get in if you are later than that. “Pagan standard time” (that is, late) is not a standard to aspire to!

What to bring

Do bring a benevolent disposition, a cooperative spirit and an open attitude. Shower or bathe and brush your teeth just prior to ritual if you can; it gets very gamy quickly when 50 to 100 people are in a warm closed room, very close together. Besides, you should cleanse your body just prior to ritual anyway, as an offering to the gods! Also, don’t wear heavy perfumes. They can be almost as offensive as bad body odor. Especially, patchouli and musk oil can be very potent.

Wear a smile, and for most events your fanciest ritual wear (if you have it), ritual jewelry and so on will be appropriate. This is the time and place to don a cape and your best or weirdest ritual array – entirely black clothes or your coffee-cup-sized pentagram.

It is always a good idea to bring a snack or a nonalcoholic drink to share. Offering a snack is a really good way to make new acquaintances! Bring any flyers, announcements, business cards and so on that you want to share with the community.

Bring drums, rattles and musical instruments for yourself and one or two extra to share, if you have them, especially if music or drumming is mentioned in the invitation.

Bring the site fee if there is one, in cash – check ahead to find out so there are no surprises. More about site fees later on.

What to leave at home

Do not bring your disagreeable or superior attitude, head games or grudges or animosity toward others into the circle.

Do not bring animals of any kind. As much as most of us like them, many people are allergic, they can be disruptive to the circle, they may get into the food and so on. It’s okay to allow your familiar into your own circles if you like, but please don’t presume to subject a public group to your pets.

Please, do not bring small children – unless you are prepared to supervise them closely, and to get cut out of the ritual if they become disruptive. (If they do become obtrusive, please motion to one of the ritual staff that you’d like to depart from the circle.) It’s very difficult to concentrate or meditate when there’s an infant shrieking beside you. We all (or most of us, anyway) actually enjoy children when they are reasonably well-behaved, but tempers flare when they begin to encroach on the experience of those who took the trouble to get a sitter or are childless by choice.

Do not bring illegal drugs or alcohol unless you have been assured by the hosts that such is gladly received. With innumerable pagans in recovery now, it’s a good bet that a lot of the people attending an event will be clean and sober. If you do feel that you must have a wee drink or toke, do so very prudently. You never know which person around you might be inclined to call security.

Munchies

Make sure to determine if there is a potluck, and if there is, bring a dish to share that will feed 8 to 12 people. Please be creative when you select what to bring for the potluck. Many times, I have seen four or five containers of deli potato salad and no cheese, bread, drinks, fruit, veggies – well, you get the idea. I recently brought fresh fruit of various kinds and Devonshire cream to an open full moon – it went over very well and was gone in a twinkle.

Homemade is always preferred, hot dishes are frequently at a premium, and meat is popular. However, vegetarian dishes are always a reliable bet, and if you have a specialty that you feature, bring that! Unusual drinks, breads, cheeses, desserts and appetizers are a good risk, as is unique ethnic cuisine.

Check to see if you need to provide your own dishes and tableware, and don’t forget a serving spoon or fork for your contribution, as well as napkins, cups or glasses! I have a fairly large picnic basket that I keep packed with everything I might need – plates, bowls, knives, forks and spoons, napkins and all, including blue plastic goblets and salt and pepper!

If there is no potluck planned, be sure to eat something substantial prior to attending. Keep your blood sugar level up, and you have less of a chance of falling over due to hunger.

Social interaction

Behave toward others with courtesy, kindness and respect. Introduce yourself to and make an authentic effort to meet and make the acquaintance of at least three additional people at each gathering you attend. Expand your foundation of friends, and make other newcomers feel like the local pagan community is gracious and sociable.

Do be cautious when encountering strangers – don’t rush up and leap on them like a puppy with bad manners! Approach them with consideration. Don’t interrupt a conversation, but do contribute if you sense that you have something to add. Query, but don’t pry. Certain pagans are yet in the broom closet and may not wish to divulge a lot of personal information. Take a cue from how candid and friendly they appear to be.

Bringing a small gift for the host or something for the altar is an excellent notion. Flowers are usually appreciated for either.

Ritual behavior

Attempt to observe the customary conduct of others and follow along. Please do not talk, jest or criticize the ritual cast during the ritual. (I have been guilty of this one myself, and I apologize!) Endeavor to not disrupt the ritual energy at all, unless you absolutely can’t wait, and use the bathroom prior to joining the circle!

If there is music, chanting, singing and so on – don’t sing along with the music unless invited to do so by the performers. Then sing only after you’ve listened long enough to be able to sing the words and melody correctly. Respect and honor what the performers have spent their time and energy learning by lending an ear.

Do not touch the altar, ritual items, the ritual cast or anything that does not belong to you without asking first! This includes people’s jewelry and knives. Keep your paws off if it’s not yours!

Energy

You may or may not experience the energy in a public ritual. Practically all are intentionally performed at a “lite” energy level, for the best interests of the collective. The ritualists can never know the skill level of all of the participants.

If you focus and breathe and follow along with the priest or priestess, you will get much more out of the experience. Furthermore, why take the time and effort to attend an event just to convince yourself that it was not satisfactory and then complain about it. Where is the fun in that?

Be mindful, though, that you don’t get “ritual energy overload” if the ritual does in fact have some “juice” to it. If you feel that this is happening or if you get any symptoms such as ringing or buzzing in the ears, dizziness, nausea, queasy stomach, feeling suddenly very hot or flushed or very cold (unless you’re outdoors in October!), you may be getting an energy blast.

If you think you might collapse, or vomit, please make your condition known to the high priestess or priest. It will be much less embarrassing to be ushered out of ritual than just to crash to the ground! Not to mention how unpleasant it might be for others if they believe that you’ve had a heart attack or something.

Not infrequently, you can surf through an intense energy surge by grounding and breathing slowly, maybe by moving your body or by eating or drinking something, if possible.

Personal matters

In my experience producing events, there is no way you can ever make all the people happy all the time – no matter how hard you strive. Please take the time to think about your complaint prior to voicing it. Is it that important to you? Will it be productive? Will it make any kind of difference? Are you willing to help or offer useful, positive suggestions on how to improve things? Are you just having a bad day? My opinion is, if I’m the hostess, I get to do things my way. If someone else has a better idea, they’re welcome to go do it! Don’t just bitch at the producers of an event because you don’t like what they’re doing. If you positively don’t like it, make a note not to attend again, but endeavor to have the best time you can while you’re there and permit others their experience.

Again, please abandon your “attitude” at the door. I have attended numerous events where there were one or two troublemakers, complainers, disrupters and just ordinary assholes. Such people are a pain in the butt for the ritual staff, and often for the attendees as well. After the staff works really hard to make an event happen for the community, then they are subjected to a person who does nothing but complain because the staff hasn’t provided especially for the complainer’s particular, probably unexpected requirements.

Hedonistic composure

I am extremely sex-positive, but I want to say that pagan events are not a place to try to get laid. Ritual is not a place for sexually predatory behavior, and if you do exhibit this, you will quickly gain the reputation of a wolf, cad, or loose woman. You may not be invited – or allowed – to return.

It’s okay to flirt and even to “come on” to someone if who seems receptive, but make sure that person is interested and that you know his or her relationship status (and that person knows yours) before you leap!

If a person says no, respect that! No means no! If someone is not interested, move on to someone else. If you do move from man to man or woman to woman at a ritual or festival, be assured there will be some people who will notice your conquest mentality. A lot of people won’t want to be just another notch on your wand. So use discretion and common sense when choosing sex partners.

At some events, there will be the opportunity for sexual expression for those who wish to revel in it. I really appreciate it when there is a shrine provided for worship of Aphrodite or Pan or other gods that are sexually oriented, and I feel it is appropriate to make a sacrifice to them in this way.

However, if you partake of the shrines and make a mess, please clean it up! Dispose of condoms, gloves and dams properly by wrapping them in a tissue and putting them in the garbage. I don’t know how many times I’ve found used condoms lying in a shrine. Ugh!

Furthermore, wipe up any spills or mess, put out the candles and the incense, throw away the tissues, fold the blankets and so on. Leave the place as you would like to have found it. Remember this is the gods’ domain; you owe it to them.

Also, just as in any similar situation – if you are having sex with a new partner, use latex! We’re living in the ’90s, people. There are many, many incurable diseases that you can catch or pass on. Some strains of hepatitis can be fatal, and several are sexually transmitted. Thus, even if your partner is not at risk for HIV, they could give you hepatitis B or C or herpes. Latex should always be used for all activities involving body fluid exchange with a new partner.

Cleanup

Please pick up after yourself and your party. Make sure the area is as clean or cleaner than when you arrived. You might ask the ritual staff if they need any help with cleanup of the ritual space, kitchen or whatever. Again, volunteering to do these little things shows you are willing to go out of your way, and that is a welcome trait. It also helps you get acquainted with people you may never have met.

Some groups have a work exchange program, so if you want to get in free, ask. Some will require you to do setup and cleanup. Some will not require much at all. It doesn’t hurt to ask, and pay if you’re able. If you want the events to continue to be available – support them, bring your pagan or pagan curious friends!

Time to go?

There are usually times posted for public events, as in: Ritual from 7-8:30. Such a schedule is sometimes loose, and sometimes not. If the event promoters have to pay extra for the building after a certain time, it is annoying to have people just hang out for hours after the ritual is over. Take your cues from the majority of the people: When they leave, make for the door.

When you are at someone’s home, be sensitive to the fact that your host may be tired and want to go to bed. If he or she is yawning and everyone else is gone – go home!

Final suggestions

The time to discuss, analyze or process your experience is when you’re home, behind closed doors. If you have serious criticism, call the promoter or ritualists and ask if they want your feedback. If so, try to convey it in a nonjudgmental tone. If you come across as a whiner, they won’t hear or heed your words!

Don’t forget to express your thanks and appreciation of an event well done, too. Remember, no one and nothing is perfect, so if things went fairly well and you had a good time – call and let them know that too! It’s is a thankless job (most of the time) to produce events, and it’s nice to get some positive feedback occasionally instead of just bitching.

Take advantage of the public events to connect with the pulse of the local pagan community. Experience the diversity of the traditions in the area. Enjoy yourself and learn something new, and honor the people who produce the events and rituals with your presence, attention and energy. Most of all, worship the God and Goddess with those of a like mind. And have a great time doing it!

Tell them I sent you.

Put The Book Down!

Put The Book Down!

Author: Siantia

I quarrel about the meaning of the term ‘Wicca’ or ‘Pagan’. I argue over the rules and structures of the various ‘Wiccan paths’. I label myself with the correct label for my position in the craft and demand others do the same. I adhere to set structures and rituals and judge those that do not. I look to occult figures to gather my instructions on how to worship my Goddess and God. I rely on another human being to give me permission to have a spiritual identity. Does this sound like you? If you have ticked any of the ‘boxes’ above then I urge you to read this article. But I’m warning you – there are no labels here for you. No man/woman to tell you the rules of your religion and no words given to you to describe what you are.

How many books on Wicca/Witchcraft/Paganism and any others of a similar nature do you own?

How many of these books have rituals for you to follow, incantations for you to recite and sabbats for you to adhere to?

How many people do you know that say you MUST be in a coven, or you MUST do that or you HAVE TO think this way?

How often, when engaging in a Wiccan/Magickal discussion or argument have you opened your most prestigious Wiccan book to read the answer and then quoted it and sat back happily knowing you must have won the argument because you used the words of an occult icon?

Quarrels about rules and words feature so strongly in Wicca/Witchcraft, everyone has their own opinion and everyone seems to have their biography of Gerald Gardner or Alex Sanders at the ready to use if the argument gets tough. But I ask you – where is your Goddess and God when you are debating this and arguing about that and proclaiming you know more than this person about that subject?

How many times do you put your book down, step away from the laws of your coven, stop listening to the ‘more experienced’ Witch and look inside your heart to talk to your Mother and Father? What do you think they would tell you about all these rules, paths and words?

“Quarrelling about words only serves to ruin those who listen to them” is one of my favorite quotes, and one I read often when I find myself almost getting involved in an argument. There is no piece of information so grand that you need to quarrel and argue over it. There is no right so right that has not come directly from The Goddess and God. I urge people to put their books down and to talk to the source that can give them all the knowledge they’re looking for. It starts by looking inside yourself and not at your favorite author; once you have looked inside yourself you find the Goddess and the God were there all along.

When you next meet someone that refers to him/herself using certain labels, or when you next are involved in a conversation about the rules of a Wiccan ritual ask the goddess and the god to show you the truth of these man-made creations. Listen and feel what you receive. What do you think your Goddess and God would say to the people arguing over the exact meaning of the term Wiccan? What do you think they would say to the couple trying to win the argument about the importance of initiation? Do you think our loving Mother and Father would see the relevance or importance of any of this?

When you feel afraid that something you are doing is not correct, who are you afraid of? The person who wrote the book you are following? The high priestess of the coven you have just joined? Or the judgmental ‘experienced’ witches you socialize with? Out of all the people you are afraid will judge you if you are not adhering to the label you have been given (or have given yourself) do you think any of them have the authority or power to say anything? Do you believe a man or a woman has more knowledge about The Goddess and The God than the Goddess and The God themselves? And do you believe that anyone but yourself can find the right answer to your problems?

Put the book down, and while you’re at it socialize with less rigid people. We are our own masters, because all of us are children of our Mother and Father. No matter what words you read in books, no matter what ‘high’ priest/ess tells you – no being knows more than The Goddess and God. It is to them you should talk, not to ‘man’.

Religion can be a beautiful life choice that makes your incarnation more colorful and interesting; a way of life that inspires you and makes you feel fulfilled as a human experiencing the Earth, knowing deep inside that it is a creation of man and that simple love of your creators will always triumph. Is this you? Or have you become so consumed with your chosen label, so consumed with the words and their meanings that you have forgotten the simplicity of the universe? What is it they say we have here? Ah yes – free will.

Perhaps you feel your religion and structure, fine details and correct interpretation of words are still important to you? Perhaps you feel that the Goddess and God are with you on that, and they wouldn’t like you to throw away labels and boxes? Then, debate away. Open your forum and join with everyone else that wants words to be important. Words have power after all!

I will go and sit beside the Goddess and The God and we shall watch you in your hall of right and wrong. When you are ready…put the book down, and see what the Goddess and God has to discuss with you.

Merry Meet to all the masters of themselves.

Footnotes:
*This article is intended for thought provoking and not direct insult. The opinions expressed are my own and so of course are not being imposed or ordered onto anyone else. Live and let live after all.

Tell It Like It Is – And Make It Count

Tell It Like It Is – And Make It Count

Author: Autumn Heartsong
“I’m not a pussy-foot Pagan; I speak my mind I don’t care if everybody gets mad at me.”

“I call it like I see it. If you’ve got a lousy attitude I’m going to tell you about it. That’s what makes me such a terrific high priestess.”

“I hate that we’re not friends anymore. I was just trying to help and she got so angry.”

Know any of these people? Maybe you’ve made one of those statements yourself.

There’s no doubt that honest feedback is helpful. People with the skill and willingness to provide good feedback are valuable in any community. Unfortunately, some people are long on willingness and short on skill. They tell it like they think it is, like they wish it were, like they hope it will be, but without the skill needed to make all that telling count for something. Some succeed handily in expressing their opinions and making people angry, and they excel at turning angry reactions into badges of honor. They may even feel a little smug when they tell everyone exactly what they’re doing wrong and no one does anything about it. There’s a lot of moral superiority in being the one with the answers and even more intellectual smugness when no one else is smart enough to take your good advice. More often, though, people are just sad and disappointed when their attempt to help is, at best, rejected or, at worst, creates angry confrontation and lasting resentment.

Why should we care about the effectiveness of our communications? Because honest, helpful feedback is essential to any community. Whether you’re addressing your circle, your coworkers, your family, or the customer service rep with whom you’re trying to resolve a problem, clear, effective communication gets the best results.

Nowhere is the need for good feedback skills more evident than in our spiritual communities. In a spiritual path that stresses personal accountability, each of us is responsible not just for what we say but how we say it. If we truly have the best interest of another in mind, we have a responsibility to do the best job we can when we offer constructive criticism or positive feedback. And for those who hold positions of leadership, the ability to guide a coven or circle is directly tied to the ability to effectively deal with behaviors that can erode the group’s foundation, as well as to offer praise that is meaningful and encourages continued success. Yet time and again, circles and covens undergo major upheavals over poorly thought-out and badly delivered feedback. Broader communities experience rifts that all but destroy those communities. Online groups explode into flame wars over emails that set out to improve some situation but miss the mark. Best friends have walked away from each other over what was meant to be helpful guidance but was delivered and received as anything but helpful. The phrase heard most often after such events is, “What just happened?”

Fortunately, willingness to engage in feedback is more than half the battle, and anyone with a sincere desire to tell it like it is and make it count can learn how to give feedback that is both honest and helpful. Whether you’re telling someone that their habitual Pagan Standard Time arrival for ritual is impacting the group or complimenting them on the stellar job they did organizing the community clean-up event, you will create more impact with a well crafted and delivered message.

In this article, I’ll discuss the characteristics of effective feedback. I’ll also outline models for giving honest, direct feedback with candor and skill. Finally, I’ll share a model for how we receive feedback to help us understand and plan for reactions in others and ourselves.

For those of you who are thinking, “This isn’t standard Pagan essay material, ” I respectfully disagree. This is EGM – Elbow Grease Magick, physical effort to accompany your energetic contribution in your community. Just as doing a “find a job” spell without sending out a resume or filling out an application isn’t likely to land you employment, opening your mouth to deliver constructive feedback without paying attention to how you do it isn’t likely to net the results you hope for. By combining a willing spirit with proven techniques, we can strengthen our relationships and our communities.

Characteristics of Effective Feedback

Think back to a time when you received truly helpful feedback from someone – maybe a teacher, a boss, a coworker or friend. What made it helpful? If you’re like most people, your recollections will include some or all of the following:

They were specific and used examples.
Vague feedback isn’t very helpful. Telling someone, “You need to do better in circle, ” doesn’t offer any clues as to what “better” means. “Your ritual robe has a wine stain on it from when you dropped the chalice at our last moon. You should make sure your robe is clean before you come to circle, ” is more effective. Likewise, “You’re such a joy to work with, ” doesn’t give the recipient any guidance on how to continue to be a joy. Try, “I enjoy working with you on community projects because you’re energetic, detail oriented, and always willing to pitch in wherever needed.”

They focused on behavior, not a personal attack.
Telling someone, “You’re a slob!” is far less effective than, “You left your feast gear unwashed on the counter and Moondrop had to clean up after you.”

They were sincere, had my best interest at heart.
Sincerity is often a matter of perception. Body language and tone can speak louder than our words. It’s estimated that in face-to-face communications as little as seven percent of a message is perceived from the actual words. (Read Radical Collaboration, by James W. Tamm and Ronald J. Luyet) .

They helped me understand why it was important.
Everyone receiving feedback asks, at some level, “So what?” When we include the why, the what has more impact. “When you’re late for ritual, feast runs late, the children get hungry and cranky, and everyone’s enjoyment of the evening is lessened.” The why can also include the benefits of change or the consequences of continued behavior. “In the future, we’ll have to start without you if you’re late.”

They included suggestions for improvement or alternate behavior.
If a behavior is causing problems, suggest a better behavior. “We need you to be here at least 15 minutes before ritual is scheduled to begin.”

They chose an appropriate time/place.
Common wisdom suggests that we correct privately and praise publicly. While public praise isn’t always necessary, constructive criticism is almost always best done privately. An embarrassed person is not receptive.

They kept their emotions in check.
If you cannot control you own emotions when delivering feedback, the message will be lost. Crying and anger are sometimes understandable reactions to bad behavior, but get them under control before you enter into dialog about the behavior. If you lose your cool, you lose control.

Models for delivering feedback

Two models provide specific steps to help craft and deliver effective feedback.

NORMS is a model for crafting your message and helps ensure that you’re focusing on behavior and that your feedback is specific. This should be your first step every time to make sure your feedback is behavior focused. NORMS is an acronym for five attributes of objective feedback.

N – Not an interpretation. Address the behavior, not how you interpret the behavior. “You’ve been late for the last three circles, ” is behavior. “You don’t have enough respect for me, your coven, or the gods to show up on time, ” is an interpretation.
O – Observable. Address behavior that can be seen, heard, or otherwise observed by more than one person.
R – Reliable. Goes along with observable. Base your feedback on reliable observations, not hearsay or conjecture.
M – Measurable. Address behavior in terms of how many, how long, etc. Avoid absolutes like never and always. Use actual numbers, times, etc., whenever possible.
S – Specific. Address specific behaviors and cite specific examples.

DISC is a model for delivering your message and is an acronym for four steps to ensure that your message conveys both what and why, offers suggested alternative behavior, and identifies benefits/consequences.

D – Describe the behavior. Describe the behavior you identified using the NORMS model. Include measurements and observations when possible.
I – Identify the impact. Why is this behavior a problem? How is it impacting the individual, you, or the group?
S – Specify what you would like to see. Suggest alternate behavior or ways to improve.
C – Clarify the benefits/consequences. What will the individual gain by changing behavior? What are the consequences if she doesn’t change?

Putting it together

Scenario: Oak Moon, a member of your coven, wears a strong patchouli oil fragrance. Three coveners have commented on it and at least one covener, Starlight, is asthmatic and has difficulty breathing when she stands next to Oak Moon in circle.

Using NORMS, you focus only on the behavior – wearing strong fragrance that bothers others in circle. The strong fragrance is easily observable by anyone present and has been reliably observed by other coveners. It is measurable – three coveners have spoken up about it. You’ve made your message specific – the strength of the patchouli oil fragrance and its effect on other coveners is the issue.

Delivering the message using DISC might sound like this:

Describe: “Oak Moon, your patchouli oil is a lovely, strong fragrance – sometimes a bit too strong for the closeness of circle. Three people have come to me because the fragrance bothers them when we’re in circle, including Starlight.”
Identify: “You may not know that Starlight is asthmatic and has trouble breathing around strong fragrances.”
Specify: “Could you skip the patchouli when we’re in circle?”
Clarify: “It will let everyone breathe easier and focus more on what’s happening in the circle.”

The DISC model works well with positive feedback, too. Here’s an example:

Describe: “Oak Moon, you did an exceptional job on the essay you sent to WitchVox last month. The organization was excellent, and your analogies really helped me understand your point of view.”
Identify: “Sharing experience and thoughts with others helps our larger community grow and sets a good example for newer members of the coven.”
Specify: “I hope you’ll write more articles in the future.”
Clarify: “You’ll probably get a lot of comments and make some good contacts from your writing.”

Receiving feedback – the SARAH Model

So far, our examples have all been delivering feedback with no response from the person receiving. Of course, the person receiving will respond, and anticipating and preparing for the reaction is part of the effective feedback process.

SARAH is an acronym for five stages people go through when receiving constructive feedback. In addition to helping us deliver effective feedback, SARAH also helps us when we’re on the receiving end of constructive criticism. Recognizing our reaction can help us move more quickly through the stages and get the most benefit from the feedback.

S – Shock. “What? You’ve got to be kidding? I can’t believe anyone would say that about me!”
A – Anger. “How dare she! Who does she think she is? She’s got no right to talk to me that way. It’s none of her business.”
R – Rejection. “Well, that’s just stupid. She doesn’t know everything and I don’t need her advice.”
A – Acceptance. “Well, she did say it…and maybe there’s some truth in it.”
H – Help. “I can see her point. Maybe I’ll try her suggestions and see what happens.”

Do you recognize your own reactions? Have you experienced those reactions from others? When planning your feedback, take some time to anticipate the reactions and think about how you will respond. How can you keep the conversation on track? By thinking through the possible conversation ahead of time, you can avoid being caught off guard by emotional response from the recipient.

What if they just won’t listen?

It’s important to note that people don’t always get through all five stages. Shock, anger, and rejection may be as far as it goes. What do you do when your best efforts fail to produce results?

Perhaps the best advice is an adaptation of The Fourfold Way by Angeles Arrien:

Show up.
Pay attention.
Speak your truth.
Let go of the outcome.

You’ve shown up when you care enough to give feedback. You’ve paid attention when you learn and practice effective feedback skills. Once you’ve spoken your truth, the rest is up to the recipient. Let go of the outcome and let the recipient process your message and do with it what they will. For every friendship that is lost because someone gets angry over feedback they’ve received, another is lost because the person giving the feedback becomes angry and frustrated when their good counsel isn’t taken. Don’t let that happen to you.

Thanks for reading this far. I hope you’ll consider applying these skills in your interactions. Sharing our love for each other with honest, candid, effective feedback is a great gift. May all your efforts be blessed and rewarded.

The Magick of Life

The Magick of Life

Author: Crick

Have you ever taken a moment to notice the magick of life?

While walking along a country road, the reeds off to the side begin to waver to and fro. Is there a Sylph at play? Or is it Father Time heaving a sigh as he passes through?

Have you ever had the pleasure of listening to an old bullfrog bellowing out the blues? A grand old song of love lost and of love yet to be realized. An adage of life presented by way of the lyrics of nature in a symphonic way.

Have you watched as a caterpillar goes wafting along a rough barked tree? She is a beautiful metamorphous in motion, a budding mystery waiting to transform into a colorful and majestic form. From earth to sky, a wonderful delight forever touching our souls. The magick of life in a brief expanse of titillating color.

Have you ever noticed mother spider silently gazing over her web of silken strands. A superb artisan as she quietly guards the doorway to a special realm. Hers is an ancient lesson in patience. Sitting off to the side as a master shaman stealthily traverses from this realm to that using the glistening web as a mystic gateway into orbs of awareness floating about just beyond our senses.

Have you listened to the crescendo of a community of crickets as they sing in unison? First softly then loudly, then softly again, never missing a beat. An exercise in harmony, an everlasting bond of harmony. An awareness of their surroundings woven into the tapestry of their opera.

Such is the magick of life.

Have you ever noticed tiny dewdrops glistening like little diamonds clinging to the tall green blades of grass? An Undine child in the making perhaps as Father Sun draws them up into his warm embrace. Or perhaps a treasure forever in the making and yet never to be harvested.

Have you ever watched as a solitary leaf floats lazily out of the sky? Going this way and that and yet with a sure purpose. Directed by the currents of the breeze, much like life that is influenced by the changing winds of society. And yet a steady yet unseen goal looms before it.

Have you ever watched as a mother bird feeds her young? A bond of love stronger then steel and yet undetected by the human eye. The continuation of life, a magick ever so strong. For love can lead to birth as well as to death.

And so the wheel turns.

Have you ever watched as a black snake silently slithers across a path? A symbol of evil to some and yet seldom seen. Misunderstandings leading to fear, spiraling about in the darkness of ignorance. And yet knowledge will bring you back to the depths of understanding. And such awareness leads to tranquility and peace.

For such is the magick of life.

Have you ever watched a busy colony of ants? Oh the magick that resides within. A common purpose and involvement by all. No obstacle too great. No task too small. Surely lessons here to be learned by those who seek out such mysteries.

For the magick of life offers lessons not to be seen nor heard but to be felt and absorbed when we open up our hearts. Some teach that humans tower above nature. But as pagans it’s our way to be as one with life. For nature is life and the magick that she offers transcends all such misguided beliefs.

Have you noticed?

Deep within the forest, mother bruin lies within the embrace of hibernation, new life forming within her womb. An ancient ritual practiced through the ages. Have you ever wondered about her dreams as she sleeps through the frigid months of winter?
Now that is the magick of life.

Have you ever stood at the waters edge and watched as a mighty fish comes bursting through the surface of its watery domain? Perhaps it is carrying a message of truth and wisdom from He who resides in the murky depths.

Awaken witch, to the wonders of this realm. Listen to all that your ancestors knew to be true. Perhaps it is telling you to shake off the detritus of the mind and to feel with your heart that which is your destiny to experience as a pagan.

Far too long such knowledge has been suppressed by man; let nature be your ears and eyes.

Have you ever listened to the lone cry of a coyote during the moon lit night? A primal reaction to an awareness that has always been and will always be. Shaman quietly smiles in acknowledgement as his brother bids him welcome.

Such, my friend, is the magick of life.

Have you ever come upon the empty shell of a cicada clinging silently to a tree?

It would appear that death in place of life is in evidence; however a metamorphism onto a greater reality is the result of such an event. For death is the balance that creates life, one without the other is an energy, which has not come full circle, a partial reaction to what must be in order to be complete.

Have you ever sat amidst a field on the edge of dusk as an owl goes gliding quietly by? Some would say a witch in flight. Striking fear into its potential prey as it wings by on its deadly mission. And yet even fear has its place in the magick of life.

As pagans of whatever path, we too have something to contribute to the cacophony of magick that swirls all about us like a silent mist contained within the fog of reason.

Freeing our minds from the shackles of fears and insecurities that such knowledge brings to those who are not of pure heart is a step forwards towards such a contribution.

Acknowledging that such wisdom is within our ability to accept is a gift of awareness and acceptance that has been sorely lacking by so many of our species.

Throw off the blinders of prejudice and ignorance and allow yourself to be a student of life.

For the path of the pagan is truly the magick of life.

The Pagan Newbie

The Pagan Newbie

Author: Crick

We often hear of someone who considers themselves a ‘newbie’ on the path of the mystical arts, or of others referring to someone as a ‘newbie’. But is either of these descriptions really accurate?

The concepts of paganism and the parameters that define such concepts have always been since the first human took breath and more likely even before the advent of humans. There are some who will say that paganism and thus by association the mystical arts, died out and is just now being re-discovered. But is this really an accurate observation? Or is it really our perception and thus sense of awareness that is new?

How many times as a child did you have an “imaginary friend”? Was this friend really imaginary or was it just that the mind of that child had not yet been brainwashed to deny such a sense of awareness? Was the perception of that child such that they could see/sense otherworldly beings? How many times as a child has one seen faeries?

And yet as adults such sightings have become a desire that is in many cases difficult to achieve.

Why?

Did the faeries cease to appear? Were they, as some would have us think, simply figments of our imagination? Or are such invectives towards the imagination really just subtle denials of that which really does exist but which certain folks feel more comfortable denying the existence of?

Within paganism, imagination, which is visualization by another name, is a necessary tenet or tool of paganism and by association, the mystical arts. And who but a child has such a powerful and unfettered tool as that of imagination/visualization?

And so instead of viewing paganism/mystical arts as some re-discovered form of belief, perhaps it’s simply that our realization and thus acceptance of what has always been is really what is now coming into play. And if this is the case, is anyone really a newbie to paganism/mystical arts?

Could it be that those who now choose paganism/mystical arts are basically just shedding the denial that has been implanted from an early age? When we walk through the woods and a deer silently walks by without one noticing it, is the deer non-existent or is it just our sense of awareness that is the reality here?

When we go fishing we cannot see the fish beneath the surface of the water but we cast our lines in anyway. Do the fish hidden in the depths not exist because we cannot espy them, or do we cast our lines into the murky waters because we know that there is something there even if we cannot physically see it?

Or do we decide that what one cannot see, one cannot acknowledge and thus we move on without bothering to cast our lines in at all.

Paganism/mystical arts are akin to this analogy in many ways. Every person on earth is involved in paganism/mystical arts their entire lives and has always been. For it is such tenets of reality that have immersed us from the very beginning of time as we know it. It is our sense of awareness of this reality that determines whether we once again step onto the path of paganism/mystical arts.

Saint Augustine once said; “Unless you believe, you will not understand”. And so though there are some who will deny the existence of paganism/mystical arts this does not preclude a reality that is ever present and ever evolving. It simply highlights a sense of denial of a profound awareness. And as this denial is pierced and recognition of reality and the higher truths that accompany it are brought into the scope of one’s awareness, that person re-emerges onto the pagan path that in all reality they were always on.

And so in essence, no one is a “newbie” as such in regards to paganism/mystical paths. And so such descriptions as “newbie” should be seen not as an introduction by one to paganism/mystical arts, or as it is in some cases as a diatribe used to elevate one’s own sense of personal status, but rather as a re-awakening of one’s awareness of such a reality.

In my own “personal opinion” such a term as “newbie” should be a cause of celebration much like the birth of a newborn child. For when one opens their awareness beyond the layers of denial that have accumulated over the course of one’s life, that person has emerged from the depths of denial and is once again swimming freely in the waters of self discovery and personal growth.

Is this not a cause for great celebration and adulation by those who willingly walk the pagan/spiritual path?

If we are determined to utilize the word “newbie”, then perhaps we should consider changing the implications of such a word from the current understanding. For in essence, we are all “newbie’s” as we seek to walk the mystical path. For each time we encounter a mystery of life and arrive at an answer that works for our individual lives, we open the door to yet another mystery or experience. Is this not the essence of what it means to be a pagan?

It is this constant seeking that for me at least, defines the difference between being a subservient member of a religion and being a seeker on a spiritual path. The latter has set parameters of which subscribers are expected to follow blindly without question. And of which one is discouraged from questioning even when such questions beg an answer.

As a seeker on the mystical path, one has un-fettered liberties to form and then to seek the answers to the questions of spirituality that we all face, whether as a member of a religion or as a seeker on the spiritual path.

And so if I have to take on the label of “newbie” in order to experience such freedom of the heart, mind and soul, then I personally will wear such a label with humble pride. For as a newbie, I look forward to the rest of my life as being involved in a state of discovery and learning.

If being a newbie equates to being a pagan, I have found my calling, have you?

The Binding

The handfasting ceremony culminates in hand binding. In the past, couples would have their hands bound together and knotted with cord. Although some witches still like to use cord, many brides and grooms today opt for satin ribbons in purple, green, and white. These are about six and a half feet in length and wound around the bride’s and groom’s clasped left hands. The expression “tying the knot” likely derives from this ritual.

The high priestess coils the ribbons, weaving them in and out of the couple’s fingers before holding their tied hands in the air for a few moments. Ethereal, angelic music plays as the pair begin to walk around the circle, displaying their joined hands and sharing their happiness with everyone. In turn, the guests shower the newlyweds with rice (contrary to popular belief, it’s a myth that raw rice will injure birds). In Pagan times rice throwing was believed to transfer the spirit of the fertile grain to the bride and groom, ensuring that they would have a prosperous harvest and a fertile union.

Once this ancient ritual has been completed, the high priestess unties the couple’s hands and pronounces them handfasted; the groom then kisses his bride. However, it doesn’t end there, because many witches love to follow tradition and jump the broom, which has been propped up against the altar. The drummers bang on their drums as the newlyweds take a running jump over this ornate broom to finalize the marriage. The British phrase “living over the brush” comes directly from this custom; it signifies a couple who have not had an official wedding ceremony but are wed in the eyes of the community. At this point everybody cheers and applauds the newlywed couple and the ceremony is over.

The Ceremony

The service commences with the groom and the high priest or priestess approaching the altar, accompanied by hand drummers. Let’s imagine that this ceremony is conducted by a high priestess. The high priestess carries an ornamental cushion with colorful ribbons or cords, draped across it. These will be used later to bind the couple’s hands in matrimony. If it’s a breezy day, the ribbons are pinned to the cushion to keep them in place.

After the groom and the priestess have taken their places at the altar, the drummers return to the bridal party and drum the bride and the handmaidens into the circle. The groom’s attire is of his choosing: he may be wearing a frock coat or a fancy, colorful vest. The bride is usually color-coordinated with the groom. She may wear something long and flowing, not necessarily white, accessorized with a headdress or a wreath of seasonal flowers on her head and possibly a wand tipped with rose quartz. The bride has her handmaidens in attendance throughout the service, and there can be as many or as few as she wants. Their costumes are often very witchlike – long, dramatic, gothic-style dresses in rich fabrics such as velvet, with colors ranging from deep purples and reds to vibrant turquoise. Each handmaiden wears a pentagram necklace or ring.

Ceremonial Officiants

As in the olden days, a high priest or priestess usually performs the handfasting ceremony either outdoors or in a place of worship, such as a Christian church. Rings are exchanged to symbolize unbroken union and the eternal circle of life It is interesting to note that the wedding ring, which is traditionally worn on the fourth finger of the left hand, came to be place there because our ancestors believed that it sat over an artery that ran directly from the hand to the heart.

The high priest or priestess is traditionally clothed in a gothic-style outfit, usually in green, gold or lavender. These outfits typically include ornate headdresses, and the priestess may wear a crown graced with a variety of crystals and feathers. These high-ranking clergy are mostly mature members of covens who have a wealth of knowledge about spell casting and all things magickal.

Handfastings

The glitz and glamour of today’s white weddings actually derive from the ancient pagan betrothal ceremony called the handfasting. The tradition of this hand-clasping ritual is believed to date back to Roman times. It is thought that a handfasted bride and groom initially took their vows only for a year and a day. After that time, if they were still madly in love, another ceremony was held to united them permanently. In the twenty-first century, Wiccans and Witches do still get handfasted but like most things, handfasting has evolved with the times. Angelic Wiccans tend to have ceremonies based on conventional handfasting, but with services attuned to the vibration of angels rather than the Pagan Gods and Goddesses.

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