Your Daily Horoscopes for Thursday, May 24th

We are able to think faster and engage in clever repartee now that communicator Mercury slides into interactive Gemini. The lingering effects of several planets in practical Earth signs is fading quickly with four planets moving through intellectual Air signs. Unfortunately, it may be nearly impossible to keep our thoughts focused for the next few weeks as the planetary emphasis on flighty Gemini increases our curiosity about everything.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You may have a conflict between your desire to hang out with friends and the simplistic need to stay true to yourself. Although you really want the camaraderie that comes from being with your peers, you might not be willing to risk your emotional security by spending too much time away from your home and family. You could try to rationalize your behavior, but ultimately you believe it’s easier to hold yourself back. Fortunately, if you stop struggling you can get the most out of the present moment.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Oddly enough, you have very little resistance to change now, yet too much flexibility can get in the way of your happiness. You must take the credit or the blame for your present condition, but don’t waste your energy regretting previous actions or trying to complete unfinished business. Don’t wait for a better time to take action; this is it. Let go of your past so you can embrace your future.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Your ruling planet Mercury returns home and this may stimulate a higher level of mental activity. Unfortunately, the hectic pace of your life is picking up even further, even if you’re already busy. It’s best now to take the sweet moments as they come, for it might be difficult to make a decision and then stick to it. Take time to think about what you could learn. Pursue your interests without committing to any one particular path just yet.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You can feel the tension build as the necessity of change confronts your current plans. Take whatever time today you need to consider what you really want to do, or you could end up making the situation even worse. You might not be able to separate fantasy from reality now, so avoid making any significant decisions for a couple of days. There’s nothing wrong with waiting until you clearly know how you feel before making your next move.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Your social life is re-energized by talkative Mercury’s move into your 11th House of Groups. Instead of being overly concerned with your personal calendar, use the next couple of days to increase your involvement with the larger problems of your community or even humanity itself. But remember there’s no right or wrong when it comes to your life path. Instead of worrying about trivial things now, just focus on alleviating the pain and suffering of someone close to you.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You may be temporarily distracted by one thing after another now that your ruling planet Mercury is in restless Gemini. But rather than trying to force an issue by placing yourself right in the middle of a complex situation, seek solitude instead. Relax your concentration and follow your thoughts wherever they may take you. Unfortunately, trying to constrain your mental process only leads to frustration. Combine tolerance and patience and you will find the right solution.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Loquacious Mercury joins the willful Sun and romantic Venus in your 9th House of Adventure. You might want to escape and take an extended vacation now. Unfortunately, you could use up all your time and energy talking about your ideas instead of actually going anywhere. Don’t just get lost in your dreams; make practical travel plans that can bend a bit with the changing circumstances of your life.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Messenger Mercury joins the cosmic party that’s already spicing up your 8th House of Intimacy and Transformation. You might be confused by someone’s inconsistent feelings, especially since they are slippery and may morph into something else if you attempt to address them. You could even make an error in judgment while assessing the current situation and then take an ineffective course of action. Don’t waste time worrying about what went wrong; just rethink the problem and try again.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You may feel real conflict between your work duties and the personal circumstances of your life. Your rational mind is quite purposeful now, but don’t overlook the needs of your friends and partners, too. However, don’t be fooled by someone’s emotional appeal unless it’s also based upon facts. Be gentle with your own self-criticism, even if you must re-evaluate your position again and again.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Although you want to find time today for personal enjoyment, there’s too much on your plate now even for a quick escape. Practical responsibilities might require that you reschedule your playtime. Cover as much ground as you can on all your projects, but don’t worry if you have unfinished business when the workday is over. Just make sure to take care of your need for pleasure before the day is done.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

There may be little you can do to prevent someone from going through his or her own discomfort now when adapting to a new situation. You are usually comfortable with the notion of making big changes in your life when necessary. However, just the thought of having to deal with a major shift might upset you today because of all the uncertainty in the air. Stay attuned to your own process and don’t project your fears on to anyone else.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

What worked well for you in the past isn’t necessarily useful now. Don’t try to hold on to memories that only bring you sadness. Let the thoughts bubble into consciousness one last time and then leave them in the past where they belong. Conjure up some of that famous Piscean compassion so you can judge yourself less harshly. Being kind to others starts with accepting who you are first.

Daily Love & Romance Horoscopes for May 24th

Aries

You’re just over a month away from the most romantic months of the year, with plenty of both new beginnings and second chances ahead. While the focus is still on your relationships and especially when it comes to ensuring that the communication lines are open, there is a chance today to focus on making your life as love friendly as possible.

Taurus

At the same time that Mercury, planet of communication leaves your sign, the Moon makes his last visit to your communication sector before the first planetary activity for the year. This is keeping the spirit of communication alive, something that will become increasingly important over the coming months.

Gemini

The key to making the most of the new doors opening on the personal front and the second chances on the romantic front, is confidence and daring to believe in yourself. Some of the most important romantic months in decades stretch out in front of you, with this last trip down love’s memory lane all about making sure nothing has been missed.

Cancer

While at the moment your romantic and relationship focus is on the past, that won’t always be the case, with a chance now to make sense of where you’ve been before moving on. If you find that there is some relationship pressure today, chances are it’s coming from the past and old triggers, with a chance to get behind what’s pushing old buttons and why.

Leo

Hold onto the relationship dreams and aspirations forged over recent years, knowing that there is no need to revise this to fit in with your current reality. In short, don’t be tempted to settle for less or assume that you’re aiming too high. Trust what your instincts are telling you, especially when it comes to what you know is possible.

Virgo

Don’t be surprised if you have your buttons pushed or there is some pressure or challenges on the romantic front today, for it’s simply the Moon doing his job. Once a month the Moon moves into opposition with Pluto, now in retrograde motion in your romantic sector, making sure that you’re not asleep at the wheel and that you’re keeping things real.

Libra

Your personal life is enjoying a respite from some busy and demanding times on the work front, but already your radar is picking up the next wave of professional influences, just over the horizon. This gives you time to safeguard the new sense of liberation being felt on the romantic and relationship fronts and to create the right boundaries to protect it.

Scorpio

Mercury’s departure from your relationship sector today wraps up his own short 15 day visit aimed at helping you to open the communication lines, but also puts your relationships themselves into a new mode. After some active months on the relationship front it’s time now to start wrapping things up, with communication essential.

Sagittarius

The Sun’s month long visit to your relationship sector is being bookended by a pair of New Moons and it’s during the 4 weeks that separate these New Moons that everything will change. You are now just days into a game changing month on the relationship front, with Mercury’s return today giving you a chance to open the communication lines.

Capricorn

Having the Moon in your relationship sector as Mercury leaves your romantic sector, gives you a chance to keep the focus on your personal life in what is a powerful professional week, but also gives you a sense of where you’re going. This is the Moon’s last visit to your relationship sector before things start to move on the relationship front and before romantic forces run their course.

Aquarius

Mercury’s return to your romantic sector today puts the Sun, Mercury and Venus on the same page for the first time since November 2011, with heart, mind and soul now able to commit to what is a game changing time on the romantic front. In just under 3 weeks time even Jupiter, planet of luck will get on board, with love gods pulling out the big guns.

Pisces

So far this year you’ve had Mars not only continuously in your relationship sector, but bringing a real mixed bag of opportunities and challenges, with no planetary activity in your romantic sector. That will change in just 15 days time and with the Moon making his last visit to your romantic sector before things start to move, take the time to listen to the intuitive read this gives you of your heart.

Daily Chinese Zodiac Horoscopes for May 24th

Rabbit

To keep your progress heading in the right direction in the work-career sector, it may be a good idea to carefully consider your words and ideas before sharing them right now. You may come across as impatient and pushy at the wrong time. Approach new partners and associates carefully.

Dragon

You’re going to be asking yourself that age-old question “What do I really want to do with my life?” The quest for meaning and purpose in your life will suddenly take on great importance and you’ll be stunned when you get the message “You must PLAY!”

Snake

You may have a disagreement with friends or loved ones about spirituality, religion or culture today. Your values are changing, and you may feel that your social circle is pressuring you to return to the fold, or at least appear to support the status quo.

Horse

You and your partner come back down to earth with a bit of a bump today. It’s the practical things, the little things, like paying the bills and getting the toys you wanted for the rec room that take your attention away from the fun and romance of life.

Sheep

You and your significant other will be discussing your health, well-being and lifestyle today. You may get some feedback you don’t like. Dietary restrictions or stricter exercise regimens are needed to get you on a healthier track, and your own mind and body will also be giving you that message.

Monkey

Avoid taking any unnecessary medications today. You may find yourself out together with friends when some undesirable effect kicks in – sleepiness most likely. You have to be careful when playing a new sport or being involved in any activity involving water.

Rooster

If you want to smooth over a rough patch with your parents, or your partner’s parents, the best way to do that is to find some gift or information related to the real problem – that long-standing medical or emotional problem of theirs. A treat of a day at a spa could work wonders on a cranky in-law.

Dog

You may have to decide whether or not to share what you know or keep your mouth shut. It may be prudent to keep quiet until you are sure that you have all the facts straight. You have an opportunity to make a positive difference, but must be tactful.

Pig

If you are feeling a strong impulse to spend today, don’t be anywhere near book stores, music stores or movie houses. Focus on investing in your future, in your long-term financial and career goals. Find ways to secure a foundation for the future.

Rat

If you want to take control in your family at present, you are going to have to act like a dictatorial warden in a madhouse. Everyone has dramatically opposed ideas about just about everything. Don’t take it too personally if no-one listens to you today.

Ox

Powerful spiritual insights and revelations are coming your way today. Just be aware that the insights you get mean that you are at the beginning of a new path, not at its apex. You are about to discover a whole new way of looking at the world.

Tiger

A friend or companion has put you into a frustrating position, but if you are patient, the whole muddle could turn around in your favor. While you are sorting out the issues, someone will pop by with some wonderful romantic gossip or flirtatious energy that picks you up again.

the daily humorscopes for thursday, may 24th

the daily humorscope 

Thursday, May 24, 2012 

 

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
An old flame will call today, and invite you to lunch. It’s actually a trick to try to get you involved with AmWay. Also, check page 5 of the newspaper for something you’ve been waiting for.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Today you will read a bit of Shakespeare, and just before you fall asleep, you will think: “A duck, by any other name, would smell as foul.” Never mix Shakespeare and chocolate icecream. The results can be a trifle unpredictable.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Today you will finally get around to exercising! Your cat will look at you like you’ve gone completely whacky. Don’t be intimidated, though — at least you never get distracted and forget that you’re holding your leg up behind your head.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Today is a good day to crash through the underbrush, making loud snorting sounds. Beware of poachers, however.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Good day to bring home a bag or two of live bugs.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Bad news: people think you’re becoming paranoid. Isn’t that just typical, though? I mean, they don’t even HAVE invisible malevolent air-squids spying on THEM, do they?
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Ever had one of those times when you ask someone “What are the crunchy things in the oatmeal?” and they say “Crunchy things?” Soon, you will.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
More fun with twine, today. Isn’t it great!?
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
In the grocery store, you will see quite a few people with infants in their shopping carts. Try though you might, however, you will not be able to find the bin with the children. Perhaps they’re sold out? Important Safety Tip: do not stop one of the women with an infant and ask her to show you where her baby came from.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
While looking through comparative salary figures, who will discover that the job of “Village Idiot”, in many metropolitan areas, pays better than that of the mayor. Don’t even consider a career change, though — it’s a lot harder that it sounds.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Good day to call an old friend, and reminisce. (It turns out to be much much harder to reminisce with a new friend.)
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Someone will ask “How are you?” for the millionth time. You should celebrate the occasion by having a speech prepared – something embarassingly intimate is usually best. “Glad you asked, Bob. I’m having a darned tough time getting rid of these pesky genital warts, for one thing…”

Your Daily Horoscopes for Wed., May 23rd

Our need for emotional security is strong today as the Moon enters sensitive Cancer at 7:31 am EDT. However, comfort is elusive as a dynamic square between the restless Gemini Sun and dreamy Neptune invites us to step away from our feelings and into our fantasies. Although artistic expression may be enhanced, we can easily get lost. Escaping reality is not a sensible strategy now; we are much better off seeking spiritual solutions to our malaise.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Your dilemma may be quite real today, even if you’re feeling sure of yourself. You think that you know what you want and it doesn’t seem too complicated. However, achieving satisfaction isn’t that easy because there’s a big difference between your personal goals and what others have to offer at this time. Your current happiness could depend on your willingness to modify your highest ideals with what is actually possible.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Your physical energy may be low today, leaving you feeling a bit discouraged. Perhaps the smartest thing you can do now is to simply take it easy. If you don’t have the drive to tackle a significant project, don’t waste too much time worrying about it. Your stamina will return soon enough, and in the meantime you can increase your chances for success by getting some much-needed rest.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

You are very aware that your emotions are affecting your productivity today, especially as your feelings change throughout the day. Your moods may continue to fluctuate, challenging you to maintain an even temper. You can minimize your frustration and avoid being overwhelmed by only taking on what you know you can finish. Limiting your goals now makes room for spiritual growth.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You may be hypersensitive today and feel under the weather for no particular reason. However, it’s crucial not to succumb to negativity since circumstances are probably not as bad as they currently seem. Above all, remain honest; any attempts to stretch the truth will likely backfire. However, sharing your fantasies with a trustworthy friend can be uplifting as long as you clearly differentiate your dreams from the facts.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

No matter how optimistic you feel, your usual demonstration of courage and vitality may be difficult to pull off today. Your positive energy isn’t as readily available now. Ironically, you can turn the day around by bringing your self-doubt right out into the open. When others realize that you don’t have all the answers, they’ll be more likely to offer a helping hand.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Although you may feel as if you are on information overload, it’s difficult to tell which data is useful and which is not. It might even be impossible to discern fact from fiction now. Naturally, you want to deal with the real world based upon objective truth; however, your confusion gets in the way of your progress today. If you soften your stance and don’t push for clarity, the haze will lift on its own.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You may become more optimistic and lighter on your feet as the day goes on. However, you also might grow more confused about love and romance. The problem is that you’re less sure about what’s real and what is imagined. Your thoughts come and go quickly now, so don’t worry if you can’t hold on to any of them. Attempting to control your mental process only brings frustration. Instead, float along with the currents and enjoy the day for whatever joy it brings.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Although you might believe that you can logically think your way through a current dilemma, reason seems to break down just as the solution comes into sight. For now, it’s practical reality versus creative imagination. It’s frustrating, but you cannot hold on to both sides at the same time. Give yourself permission to entertain your dreams today, for the real world will intervene when necessary to bring you back.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You are being flooded by images arising from your subconscious mind today. You may feel as if you’re being pushed to do something that doesn’t really make sense to you, but this is the nature of unconscious expression. Anxiety might arise from your current confusion; the more you try to figure out what’s happening, the farther away the answers seem. Don’t take your lack of clarity too seriously, for it will pass soon enough.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

People usually trust your answers because you have plenty of common sense and typically seem to know what to do. Now, however, you are less likely to be certain about what comes next. Your acute lack of confidence could lead you down the path of less resistance, which may not take you in your intended direction. The most important thing is to allow yourself the luxury of wasting time today, even if it feels counterproductive.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Although you may be quick to rise, dress and prepare for work, something still could be bothering you. You don’t know what’s expected of you today, but this can be a creative time if you figure out how to let go of the details for a while. If you refuse to give up control, you could inadvertently invite unnecessary irritation. However, remaining open to change can lead to rich and meaningful experiences.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

There’s no need to panic now, even if you don’t have a game plan in place. In fact, expressing your fears might just make matters worse today. Unfortunately, you’re not fully in control of your immediate environment; the more you try to make something go your way, the more resistance you encounter. Attempting to resolve an issue could make your frustration level soar, so just work through the uncertainty the best you can.

Your Daily Love & Romance Horoscopes for Wed., May 23rd

Aries

Let’s face it, you have already experienced more than your fair share of relationship challenges and pressures, not only over recent months but on and off over the last few years. But you really have turned a corner and where before there were roadblocks there is now nothing but support. Use the past to empower you, while the door is still open to second chances.

Taurus

With the second half of 2012 destined to become a lot more relationship focused, work now to ensure that the communication lines are open. It’s a growing sense of romantic confidence and a return of your romantic passions that is giving you the courage to speak out, letting others in.

Gemini

Venus, planet of love will remain in retrograde motion in your sign until later next month, due to turn direct just 3 days after Saturn turns direct in your romantic sector. Until then the door to the past and to second chances is open, while in every other aspect of your life the focus is on the future and all that it holds.

Cancer

The Moon is wrapping up his last visit to your communication sector before a very rare Venus eclipse here in just 2 weeks time, giving you an intuitive read on the romantic nostalgia in the air. With the past already coming alive this gives you a chance to get up close and personal with old ghosts, recognising where you need to let go.

Leo

While you have no planetary activity in your romantic sector you are not on your own, with the North Node creating a natural current that is drawing you towards the future and your full romantic potential. This makes it important to keep your romantic focus on the future and the road ahead, for that’s where the opportunities lie.

Virgo

It was just a week ago today that the last opposition played out between forces on the personal and relationship fronts, giving you a chance to get things out in the open. Since then things have eased back on the relationship front and your personal passions and confidence have bounced back, with a need to hold onto the lessons of the last few months.

Libra

It was 2 weeks ago to the day that Mercury, planet of communication left your relationship sector, wrapping up the most active and defining but also the most challenging relationship months of the year. Chances are you won’t be tested this way again for several years, making it important to hold onto the lessons learned and the communication lines this opened.

Scorpio

As Mercury, planet of communication spends his last full day in your relationship sector he knows it will be another 12 years before he’ll meet up with lucky Jupiter here again, giving you the confidence to put your heart on your sleeve and everything on the line. With luck on your side and the communication lines open, what have you got to lose?

Sagittarius

It was the Moon’s return to your relationship sector just hours behind the Sun that formed the unexpected solar eclipse 2 days ago, but as he wraps up his visit he not only knows he’ll return next month for a second New Moon, but that a lot will change between now and then. This makes it important to listen to your instincts, but also keep an open mind and heart.

Capricorn

While Mercury, planet of communication visits your romantic sector once a year, giving you a chance to give your heart a voice and put heart and mind on the same page, it’s been 12 years since he’s teamed up with lucky Jupiter and it will be another 12 years before he does again. This makes his last full day here even more important, with giving your heart a voice a must.

Aquarius

It was the Moon’s return to your romantic sector 2 days ago and alignment with the Sun that created the solar eclipse that both opened new doors and created a real tailwind. But this is also the Moon’s first visit to your romantic sector since Venus turned retrograde here, giving you an intuitive read on the old doors that opened just a week ago to the day.

Pisces

It was a week ago to the day that Mars, planet of passion and the warrior planet of the cosmos faced his final battle and his final opposition, but already things have moved on considerably. Not due to leave your relationship sector until early July, Mars’ passions and fighting spirit can now go into bringing your relationships up to speed.

Your Daily Chinese Zodiac Horoscopes for Wednesday, May 23rd

Rabbit

There is an opportunity for you to boost your career, but it may mean accepting changes in your lifestyle or place of residence. Trust your intuition when making major decisions involving your home or family. You will be your own best guide right now.

Dragon

Looks like you could be traveling, and while it’s not entirely unexpected, you may have been forced to make changes or speed up the schedule. You will find that travel agents and other “support staff” are helpful and can take down some roadblocks.

Snake

You have some planning to do for an upcoming day off, and you need to invest your time, attention, and financial resources into something that will both boost your spirits and get you active and out in the world. You may be tempted to buy a new computer game today.

Horse

You have wonderfully dreamy and romantic energy today, and while you are having a wonderful time, not everyone is happy for you. Someone in your family or circle of companions fears losing your attention or affection and are less supportive than you expected.

Sheep

You may be thinking about healthcare, wellness, or the lifestyle you favor at the moment when it dawns on you that you really need to spend more time in physical activity. A competitive sport could be a huge boost to your self-confidence too.

Monkey

You are going to be the center of attention today. People find you incredibly attractive, and you have a lot of physical energy to spare. The problem is that your intuition is not the best, and you could make some errors in judgement in the choice of a new mate or partner.

Rooster

You have a wonderful opportunity to help a loved one or family member to improve their wellness, fitness, lifestyle or health. You may be thinking of encouraging them to join you in a regular aerobics, fitness or yoga class, or present them with music or a video.

Dog

There is still a lot of chatter on your phone lines. Romantic contacts look positive, if somewhat erratic, but you have at least one friend who may be losing their grip on reality. Before you bring them down to earth, think of a more tactful way to say “get real”.

Pig

You may find that you have unusually good luck with money today. You may discover change in the laundry or win a small lottery sum, or it may just be that someone comes along with some incredibly good ideas or financial advice when it was most needed.

Rat

Keep pushing forward with your personal revolution. You have a lot of momentum and can accomplish a lot. Make sure you tend to your own personal needs though, make sure you get enough sleep. You don’t want to burn out. Keep your cool, your temper, and your drive under control. You can intimidate people today without meaning to, because you are such a powerhouse right now.

Ox

Your intuition will be sharper than normal today. You could actually have one of those strange psychic experiences people sometimes report, where they “just know” something good will happen to a loved one or relative, and it later turns out to be true.

Tiger

Your circle of friends may be expanding soon. An eclectic, unusual group of people may be crossing paths with the group of people you normally hang out with. When the collision of ideas finally dies down you may find that things have gotten a whole lot more interesting.

Your Daily Horoscopes for Tuesday, May 22nd

Our optimism may turn a molehill into a mountain today as mischievous Mercury’s hook-up with bombastic Jupiter has us telling tall tales. Although the Mercury-Jupiter conjunction occurs in practical Taurus, three planets in carefree Gemini indicate our desire to fill the day with things to do and people to see. Thankfully, the Gemini Moon activates a trine between sweet Venus and realistic Saturn, reminding us that some things are worth the wait.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Although you may already have taken on too many responsibilities, you’re so confident that you’re ready to put even more on your plate today. Unfortunately, you could spend so much energy just trying to fulfill your obligations that there isn’t much time left over to relax. Don’t wait for the end of the day to wish you had less to complete. Instead, judiciously cut back on your activities by setting healthy limits right from the start.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You might think that your strategy is a sound one, but you could unexpectedly discover that you have oversimplified your plan. You feel a bit scattered today, even if you try to concentrate your efforts on what needs to be done. Although you know that pleasure eventually awaits you, finding the time to enjoy it remains tricky. Don’t get discouraged; satisfaction will be yours if you keep your eye on the prize.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Things can quickly get out of hand today with the Moon back in your changeable sign and your key planet Mercury contacting expansive Jupiter. You could easily underestimate what’s required to finish a specific task. Although you might feel overwhelmed for a while, you should be able to pull it all together by the end of the day. Don’t complain, even if you temporarily regret how much you promised. If you just stay focused and work steadily, you could have enough time left over to have some fun.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You could lose your momentum by thinking of all the reasons you can’t do something that you really want to do. Reality is testing you to see if you can overcome the obstacles in your path. Fortunately, your inner strength gives you enough clarity of vision now so you can organize many disparate puzzle pieces into a comprehensive picture. Although your friends show up to support your efforts, it’s up to you to accept the assistance that’s offered.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Your moods seem to be changing quickly now and it’s difficult to know how you’re going to feel next. One minute you seem to have superpowers and then just a few moments later you’re back to being a mere mortal. Even if you can leap tall thoughts in a single bound, you still need to follow through with sensible action. There’s nothing wrong with having your head in the clouds as long as you can keep your feet on the ground at the same time.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You can accomplish a tremendous amount of work now and your productivity is likely to be positively acknowledged by others. However, you may be so enthralled with your big ideas that your excitement becomes your downfall. Unfortunately, you might not even realize if you’ve pushed too far. Don’t assume more responsibilities than you can realistically handle. Take preventative action today before you find yourself over-committed.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You can be a case study for the power of positive thought. You’re on a productive high now and might even be able to imagine something right into existence. It’s too bad you can’t bottle this confidence for a rainy day. Unfortunately, the creative juices are fickle and you could get yourself into trouble if you assume that you can sustain such a steady pace. Give yourself a bit of leeway today to wander off track and don’t be afraid to daydream along the way.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You honestly might not think you have time to relax enough to have the fun that is right in front of your nose. You can say that you’re ready to party, but it’s challenging to avoid the responsibilities that you already accepted. Acknowledge the limitations of what you cannot do in the present moment. Then, you will be freer to explore the deeper meaning of life without the burden of having to find the right answer.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You might get caught up in a minor power struggle today as you move through the changes that are being demanded of you. But the more you try to hold on to whatever you believe you had, the more difficult this conflict becomes. However, if your commitment to a larger cause is more important than achieving your personal goals, you should be able to gracefully navigate your way through the resistance.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You might feel a bit uncomfortable today as you try to get past your self-imposed restrictions in order to take advantage of the exciting opportunities that are being presented to you. The challenges may come to you now in the form of social engagements. However, you could learn something new if you don’t retreat too quickly. Instead, push up against your own insecurities; it’s time to recognize that your fears don’t need to get in the way of the potential in your life.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Someone might come to you with such a good idea today that it’s hard to resist. You may be feeling so upbeat now that nearly every opportunity looks worthwhile. It doesn’t matter if you’re invited to participate in a business scheme or a private party; it probably sounds better than it actually is. Fortunately, there’s no reason to react negatively; just remain open to modifying your position as more and more of the truth is unveiled.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You may mistakenly believe that you can see the whole picture now. Unfortunately, precision of thought doesn’t necessarily come along with the vision. Sure, you can visualize it all, but you could jump to a wrong conclusion or miss an important detail that’s integral to making the right choices. You will probably choose in favor of the new opportunity because it sounds too amazing to say no. Just remember not to over-commit or you might end up regretting your decision.

Daily Love & Romance Horoscopes for May 22nd

Aries

With not much support on the communication front and that support actively working to enhance second chances on the relationship front, you almost can’t fail. So long as you’re willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that the communication lines are open and that you’re listening as well as talking, things will take on a life of their own.

Taurus

Mars, planet of passion passed his final roadblock last week and with any pressures and challenges behind you a new sense of confidence is emerging. With Mars not leaving your romantic sector until early July you have plenty of time to make up for lost time and to let your romantic passions take the lead.

Gemini

The first full day of your new solar year, one that even in its early hours looks anything but an ordinary run around the block, is also the last full day of an alliance between Venus, planet of love in your sign and Saturn, in retrograde motion in your romantic sector. With the door now open to your future, but your romantic focus on the past, you’re able to see both with equal clarity.

Cancer

Having the Sun in a nostalgic part of your chart has been a game changer, with the cosmic spotlight now directed onto the road behind. With Venus, planet of love in retrograde motion here and Pluto in retrograde motion in your relationship sector, they’re no longer operating in the dark, making any potential second chances easier to spot.

Leo

With no planetary activity in either of your romantic or relationship sectors, overwhelming professional forces haven’t met much resistance. But if the scales have been balanced too far towards your professional life they have already begun to shift, with both new doors and the door to second chances now open in a social and serendipitous part of your chart.

Virgo

Since returning to your relationship sector in February Neptune, planet of dreams and fantasies has been standing back as personal and relationship challenges played out, all the while bringing a sense that anything was possible. Due to turn retrograde in just 2 weeks time, Neptune gives you a chance to slow down and engage your imagination.

Libra

As Venus, planet of love spends her first full week in retrograde motion in an adventurous part of your chart, she has support on all sides. With the Sun spending his first full day here as well, life as a whole is taking on more colourful dynamics. With the seriousness of recent months behind you, it’s time to have some fun.

Scorpio

With the Sun already gone from your relationship sector, Mercury leaving in just 2 days time and even Jupiter in just 3 weeks time, you’re now in the end game, where it’s all about putting your relationships on the path you want them to continue on. While your relationships are still a priority they won’t be for much longer, so getting things on track is essential.

Sagittarius

Where yesterday’s solar eclipse in your relationship sector and the new doors this opened may have taken you by surprise, you have a chance today to adjust. One of the biggest adjustments is how to focus this with Venus, planet of love’s first full week in retrograde motion in your relationship sector and the doors to second chances this has opened.

Capricorn

With the Sun and Moon gone from your romantic sector, Mercury leaving in 2 days time and Jupiter in just 3 weeks time, a journey that began in June 2011 is coming to an end. That journey is to bring your romantic expectations and experiences up to speed and your love life on the track you want it to continue on, with a new sense of urgency setting in.

Aquarius

At the same time that yesterday’s solar eclipse in your romantic sector has opened the door to new beginnings, with Venus spending her first full week in retrograde motion here the door is also open to second chances. You have so much romantic clout and for so long that you don’t have to pick and choose which to go after, with anything possible.

Pisces

You’re now in the final weeks of a major mission to bring your communications up to speed, something that your relationships will rely on moving forward, with a need to make every effort you can now to ensure that the communication lines are open. You’ve come too far to be tripped up now by unsaid words.

the daily humorscopes for tuesday, may 22nd

the daily humorscope

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Time for an excursion! Remember to pack some sandwiches, and carry a large ball of twine (it’s easy to get lost in the city — the twine should help).
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
This is going to be a fairly peculiar day, for you. You’ll end up taking a bus downtown. Two neatly dressed but somewhat short and embittered women will push a cart up and down the aisle in the bus, dispensing packets of honey-roasted peanuts, and miniscule quantities of Diet Coke in plastic glasses.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
You will be “on the move”, soon. Especially movements of a gastrointestinal nature, as it turns out. Good day to stay close to home.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Try not to attract attention today. This might be a good time to learn the art of disguise. Forget about camoflage suits, though – I tried wearing mine to the mall, and people could still see me, even when I crouched and remained very still.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Today you will realize that you’ve always wanted to have the biggest ball of string in town, and will start collecting odd bits of string at every opportunity. Eventually, you will make it into the Guinness Book of World Records, right next to the Giant Happy Tape Ball record set by Mr. S. Boondoggle.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Today you will receive an odd postcard from a long lost relative in Peru. He will invite you to come explore an ancient Incan ruin which he has discovered. Try not to be too impulsive — a better offer will soon arrive from a an old high school friend who is hiding out in a Burmese monastery.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You will get one of those pre-mixed salads in a new high-tech bag that “breathes”. Or, in this case, wheezes.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You will get the peculiar urge to go outside and roll around in something yucky. Also, you’ll notice your ears are getting hairy.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Good day to invent an anti-gravity device. Or at least, to tell everyone that’s what you’re doing.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Remember today: two wrongs don’t make a right. But three do.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Time to make a bold new fashion statement. What’s the reason for matching socks, anyway? Why are people so obsessed with sartorial symmetry?
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
This may be a little late, but heck, late is better than never. You know when they said to shop naked? They meant shopping on-line…

Your Business & Career Horoscopes for the Week of May 21

Your Business & Career Horoscopes for the Week of May 21

Aries

It’s where you’ve been held back or penned in on the work front that you’re finally able to put your foot down and go for it this week, spurred on by a new sense of urgency on the income front. It was only last week that Mars, planet of passion, drive and ambition faced his last hurdle and not due to leave your work sector until the 4th July what has been a marathon is switching back to a sprint again. As you come into the home straight of a journey that began last November, you’re no longer green behind the ears and you have a wealth of experience and professional hindsight to draw on. This allows you to pick your battles wisely at what is a time for putting your head down and your tail up, putting everything you have into everything you do.

Taurus

There is a new level of confidence on the work front this week and it’s coming from the fact that things have shifted to support your hard work and effort and all the drudge work put in, in the past. Saturn, the only planet in either of your professional houses, has been in retrograde motion in your work sector since early February and will remain in retrograde motion until later next month, so nothing has changed as far as he’s concerned. It’s still all about putting your head down and your tail up, putting in the hard work behind the scenes that you need to but more that the conditions have changed. Saturn is no longer under pressure, so the work pressure should have eased right back, but it’s support and confidence on the income front that has changed all the filters.

Gemini

There is a chance to pull back this week. It was just last week that the last in a series of Mars oppositions, that has put direct pressure on your career sector, finally ran its course. Where this created professional pressure and work/life balance pressures specifically, you’ve had a chance to learn a lot and take heed of any wake up calls. But with the pressure gone and both Neptune and Chiron, the planets staying on to keep your professional game on a roll slowing down, ahead of their retrograde turn early next month, there is no longer any urgency. Instead there is a chance to pull back this week and work with the cards already on the table. This is now all about the big picture and it’s that big picture that you have a chance to refer back to now, with a chance to get your bearings.

Cancer

Pay attention to any work pressure early in the week, finding a balance between avoiding sweating the small stuff and not sticking your head in the sand. It’s on Monday, 2 weeks to the day before a lunar eclipse in your work sector is likely to see fate reveal the final wildcard up its sleeve, that the Moon and Sun will align to push some buttons. This comes at the start of the month long wind down to your current solar year, when there is a need to start conserving energy and to pace yourself. This may present as a case of Mondayitis, in which case you need to humour yourself and not push through this, telling yourself to buck up. There is a serious need to slow down and to look at where any expectations are coming from. A slower approach may see you accomplish more in the long run.

Leo

Moving into the new week with the Sun, Mercury, Moon and Jupiter in your career sector would suggest that this is going to be a professionally charged week and while it will remain an important professional week, things ease back dramatically while becoming more urgent at the same time. With the Sun and Moon leaving your career sector on Monday, Mercury on Thursday and none meeting up with lucky Jupiter again here for another 12 years, all your cards are now on the table. It’s the insight, professional instincts and intellectual savvy that the Sun, Moon and Mercury leave you with that allow you to move into what is the end game ready to play your A game. With Jupiter leaving on the 12th June it’s time to bring things home.

Virgo

Venus’ retrograde turn in your career sector last week and her first full week in retrograde motion suggests this should be a fairly quiet professional week, with the focus on the past and on working behind the scenes. While this will play a part in this week’s dynamics this is anything but a behind the scenes week, with your professional game being thrust into the limelight in the early hours of the week. It’s on Monday that the Sun and Moon not only return to your career sector within hours of each other, but align to form a solar eclipse on Monday. This opens the door to new beginnings and opportunities, just as Venus is opening the door to the past and second chances. Mercury’s return to your career sector gives you the intellectual savvy to manage a changing professional landscape.

Libra

You have a chance to rest on your laurels this week. It was only last Thursday that work pressure began to ease off, yet unlike the false starts of the past, this time you really have crossed your final hurdle. Pay attention as your professional instincts kick in, from Thursday or Friday onwards, for what you’ll be picking up on is the Moon’s return to your career sector, for what is his last visit before new doors open in less than 2 weeks time. Once new doors open on the career front, from the 7th June onwards, they’ll remain open for the next 3 months, bringing you to the most important professional months of the year, especially when it comes to looking at where to from here. This makes it important to step back this week, catching your breath before the next wave.

Scorpio

Things have eased back considerably on the work front, to a point where you’re now able to focus more on pacing yourself, keeping what has been put in motion in play. Mercury only left your work sector on the 9th May, so this is still early days and with Uranus staying on to keep things on track, it’s less about the push to bring things up to speed and more about being in the driver’s seat, keeping things on the road. It’s the Moon’s return to your career sector on Saturday, a month to the day before new doors are due to open, that gives you a chance to both sharpen your professional instincts and look ahead. This gives you your first real glimpse of what will be the defining months of your professional year, with a chance to start looking ahead to new mountains and goals to conquer.

Sagittarius

Despite a professionally driven start to the week, expect things to ease back. It was only last week that Mars faced his final hurdle and not due to leave your career sector until the 4th July, his professional passions move into the overdrive this week, ready to make up for lost time. At the same time you begin the week with the Sun, Mercury, Moon and Jupiter in your work sector, completing one of the most formidable line ups you’ve gone into a new working week with all year. Yet while you still have several more weeks to bring things up to speed on the career front, on the work front this is the end game. The Sun and Moon leave your work sector on Monday and Mercury on Thursday and with Jupiter leaving 3 weeks later it’s time to wrap things up and tie up loose ends.

Capricorn

After Venus’ retrograde turn in your work sector last week her first full week in retrograde motion should see things pull right back especially as Saturn, the only other planet in either of your professional houses, is also in retrograde motion in your career sector. While this does open the door to second chances on the work and career fronts, especially as Venus and Saturn are working together, this is destined to be anything but a quiet and behind the scenes week. It all changes dramatically when within hours of each other first the Sun and then the Moon not only return to your work sector on Monday, but align to form a solar eclipse. This opens the door to new beginnings and a game changing month on the work front, while the doors to second chances are also open.

Aquarius

Apart from a Full Moon in your career sector earlier in the month you’ve had no help from the professional gods this year, with no planetary activity in either of your professional houses so far this year. That’s about to change with Mercury returning to your work sector on the 7th June, opening the door to an active 3 months on the work front that will overlap the start of a much bigger phase on the career front, that won’t ease off until 2015. In short, your time on the professional sidelines is about to end, with the Moon’s last visit to your work sector before things kick off giving you a chance to sharpen your instincts, get your bearings and pick up on some valuable clues. Keep your finger on the pulse and your ear to the ground, especially between Thursday and Saturday.

Pisces

Look behind any work/life balance pressures, for it’s coming from buttons being pushed as planetary influence kicks in on the home front, inadvertently putting pressure on the very points on the career front that are due to come to a head during a lunar eclipse in just a few weeks time. At the same time this gives you a chance to address any work/life balance issues it also provides some valuable wake up calls, putting you on alert to developments that are likely to come to a head during the lunar eclipse in your career sector on the 4th June. It’s the Moon’s return to your work sector on Saturday, a month to the day before Mercury returns and opens the door to the first planetary activity here for the year that gives you a chance to tap into any clues, hunches and insights ahead of time.

Weekly Financial Horoscopes for Monday, May 21st

Your Weekly Financial Horoscopes for May 21st

Aries

Even though you begin the week with the Sun, Moon, Mercury and Jupiter in your income sector, ensuring that you move into the new week with your eyes open and both a smart head and a nose for money, this extreme focus will quickly ease back. With the Moon and Sun leaving your income sector on Monday and Mercury on Thursday, none meeting up with lucky Jupiter again here for another 12 years, it’s important that you move into the week playing it like you mean it. Even Jupiter is leaving your income sector on the 12th June and after continuous planetary activity since April 2011, you’ll soon be on your own. With your fighting passions and drives kicking back in on the work front, it’s time to break your way through any glass ceilings.

Taurus

There is a dramatic turnaround on the income front this week, with the money gods out in full. This is Venus’ first full week in retrograde motion in your income sector and with the support of Saturn, in retrograde motion in your work sector the scene was set for a fairly quiet and behind the scenes week, where the focus was on second chances on the income and work fronts. That all changes on Monday when the Sun and Moon not only return to your income sector within a few hours of each other, but align to form a solar eclipse. This is the first of 2 New Moons, the second on the 20th May and it’s between these two New Moons that everything will change. Mercury’s return to your income sector on Thursday will give you the smart head for money needed to manage this turn of events.

Gemini

Pluto is the only planet active in either of your money houses and it’s been that way since last September. That’s when the last round of planetary activity in your income sector ran its course, with the focus since then on your financial situation as a whole. With Pluto now in retrograde motion, you have a chance to take care of any financial housekeeping and to look back and change anything that isn’t working. If this is becoming a little boring and you’re anxious to see some movement on the income front, then help is on its way. It’s from Thursday to Saturday that the Moon will make his last visit to your income sector before Mercury returns early next month, opening the door to the most lucrative months of the year. Hold onto the nose for money or any clues this leaves you with.

Cancer

While you will have to wait until the weekend to get any support from the money gods this week, you don’t actually need it. With no planetary activity in either of your money houses since activity in your financial sector wound up in February, all your cards are on the table. While this leaves you qualified to manage your own financial affairs and to have confidence in the decisions you’re making and the way you play things, things may be running on empty on the income front. This makes the Moon’s return to your income sector on Saturday so important. Arriving a month to the day before new doors are due to open on the income front, the Moon will be doing a lot more than simply giving you a nose for money, with some valuable information and insight into which doors to start lining up at.

Leo

You can breathe a sigh of relief, with the last of the financial hurdles you’ll need to cross finally behind you. It was last week that Mars, now becoming more impatient to get things moving on the income front, faced his last roadblock, with oppositions between forces in your financial sector finally behind you. At the same time that this brought everything to a head on the financial front, so that you know what you’re dealing with and can now do so behind the scenes, this set you free to really make things happen on the income front. With a new sense of urgency developing on the work front, to get things up to speed, the same sense of urgency and hunger is developing on the income front. It’s time to take serious aim at any glass ceilings, ready to come out of your corner fighting.

Virgo

You’ve known or sensed for a few weeks now that the financial challenges of recent months are behind you, but where you may have settled for things returning to the status quo, it seems that the money gods are bending backwards to compensate. This was always going to be a confident week on the income front, with Venus’ first full week in retrograde motion in your career sector lending forces on the income front, where the door has been open to second chances for some time, her full support. But it’s the new doors opening on the career front this week that bolsters your professional confidence and because of the link already established, should boost your income confidence as well. All of a sudden you have options, with a turnaround now underway.

Libra

While you begin the week with a lot of focus on your financial situation with the Sun, Moon, Mercury and Jupiter all in your financial sector as you move into the new week, this will drop off dramatically. Yet as it does a new sense of urgency will set in, with a growing sense that it’s time to tie up loose ends and bring things home. When the Sun and Moon leave your financial sector on Monday they’ll leave you with your financial instincts sharp and some real financial objectivity, with Mercury’s departure on Thursday leaving you with a smart head for money. For all 3 this is their last contact with lucky Jupiter here for another 12 years and as he’s leaving on the 12th June, you’re now in the end game. It’s time to bring things home and to bring all the different strands together.

Scorpio

The shift in financial focus at the start of the week is so sudden and so abrupt and because there is an element of financial pressure thrown in, this might throw you off guard. Yet however it’s experienced this is a good thing, a very good thing. This is Venus’ first full week in retrograde motion in your financial sector, so this should have been a fairly low key money week, giving you a chance to work behind the scenes and revisit old financial desires. Yet that all changes on Monday when within hours of each other the Sun and Moon not only return to your financial sector, but align to form a solar eclipse, opening the door to new beginnings. Mercury’s return to your financial sector on Thursday will give you the smart head for money needed to manage these changing financial times.

Sagittarius

Pluto, in retrograde motion in your income sector is enjoying a free ride, with support from professional forces but no challenges. That won’t always be the case, with the Moon’s return to your financial sector on Thursday and opposition with Pluto providing some timely wake up calls. This is the Moon’s last visit to your financial sector before Mercury returns early next month and the first planetary activity for the year kicks in. This puts you just a few weeks away from the most active money months of the year, but the focus will be split between your financial and income situations. Listen to the financial instincts and insights the Moon leaves you with, without sticking your head in the sand or sweating the small stuff, while realising that your main focus is still on income matters.

Capricorn

With no planetary activity in either of your money houses the Moon’s monthly visit to your financial sector is always important, with a chance to sharpen your financial instincts and get your bearings. But there is something a little more significant to the Moon’s return to your financial sector on Saturday, returning a month to the day before the first planetary activity for the year kicks off. You’ve had a lot of planetary influence on the income front this year, so much so that you should know what you’re aiming and striving for and how to make it happen, making it more a case of keeping things on track. On the financial front and with money matters in general you haven’t even begun to bring things up to speed, with a chance over the weekend to gain some valuable clues and insights.

Aquarius

Chances are there is a sense of belief and also doubt in the air this week, for while last week’s opposition between forces on the income and financial fronts is over, this has happened in the past, only to return. This time some fairly challenging money months are behind you and last week’s setbacks and pressure really was the last hurdle you needed to get through. Life will always have its ups and downs, but in terms of the challenges you’ve been facing over recent months, this chapter is behind you. This comes just as your fighting spirit is starting to bounce back and with Mars, the warrior planet of the cosmos not due to leave your financial sector until the 4th July, this leaves you plenty of time to turn things around. It’s time to come out of your corner fighting.

Pisces

The tide has turned on the financial front and whether your actual financial situation has changed yet or not there is a new sense of empowerment. Even past financial challenges are more likely to be empowering you, as a new sense of financial confidence returns. What is helping this is that it’s retrospective, in that you’re starting to see the past in a different light. Instead of casting yourself in the role of the victim, you’re able to look back at past financial challenges or back to the roots of a current financial situation, in a way that makes it hard to play the ‘woulda, shoulda, coulda’ game. There is a real sense now that, that was then and this is now. When you take ownership of the past you’re able to tap into the experience and the wealth of hindsight this opens the door to.

Your Daily Love Horoscopes for Monday, May 21st

Your Daily Love Horoscopes for May 21st

Aries

Ever since Venus, planet of love returned to your communication sector early last month, communication has become even more important, especially on the relationship front. With Venus already opening the door to second chances and an opportunity to give the past and unsaid words a voice, today creates an opportunity for new beginnings as well.

Taurus

As your birthday month comes to an end you’re able to create a real line in the sand, distancing yourself from the romantic setbacks and challenges of recent weeks and months, ready to move on. Any roadblocks are behind you and the most romantically charged and important relationship months of the year lay in front of you.

Gemini

If how a new solar year begins is any indication of how it will continue, then this is destined to be a big year on both the personal and romantic fronts. Your new solar year kicks off today with a solar eclipse, opening some major new doors and providing a real tailwind, at a time when the door is open to second chances on the romantic front.

Cancer

Just when you thought the focus on the past couldn’t be more extreme with Venus, planet of love in retrograde motion in an already nostalgic part of your chart and Pluto in retrograde motion in your relationship sector, it does just that today. As you begin the process of wrapping up your solar year, the solar spotlight shifts to the road behind.

Leo

This is a day for coming out in defence of your heart and your romantic confidence, which could get a bit of a bruising during today’s solar eclipse. But with a lunar eclipse in your romantic sector in just 14 days time this is more a wakeup call, with a chance to look at what’s still pushing your buttons and why.

Virgo

There is a real sense of relief in the air, as whatever relationship hurdles you needed to cross are now behind you. In fact, things are settling down so much on the relationship front and such a steady sense of momentum is now possible, that you run the risk of letting a growing professional focus swamp things.

Libra

There is a new sense of freedom and liberation being felt on both the romantic and relationship fronts, that is giving you permission to let both your love life and your relationships take their natural and intended course. This is not only influencing your journey forward but the way that you’re looking back on the past.

Scorpio

Both the Moon and Sun leave your relationship sector today, bringing to an end a defining month on the relationship front, but in a way that leaves you with a sense that there is still more to be done. At the same time that the Sun leaves you with some reality checks the Moon leaves you with an intuitive sense of what’s a priority and what isn’t.

Sagittarius

There is a very dramatic turn of events on the relationship front today, with the Sun and Moon not only returning to your relationship sector within hours of each other, but aligning to form a solar eclipse. With zero build up this might take you by surprise, suddenly opening new doors just as you’re adjusting the old doors that are now open.

Capricorn

Within hours of each other first the Sun and then the Moon leave your romantic sector today and in both cases it will be another 12 years before either meet up with lucky Jupiter here again. This makes it important to hold onto the realistic and intuitive read they give you of your heart and romantic needs and situation, taking the messages on board and to heart.

Aquarius

Today is one of the most important days of your romantic year, more because of the huge turning point created by not only the Sun and the Moon’s return to your romantic sector, but the solar eclipse this creates. Having a solar eclipse on Day 1 of what was always going to be game changing months, creates a chance to draw a real line in the sand.

Pisces

There is no doubt that you’ve turned a corner on the relationship front, but also that the journey isn’t complete. With the objectives, challenges and roadblocks behind you you’re in the rebuilding phase and the glue and nails that will help you build better and stronger relationships moving forward are words and good intentions.

Your Love & Romance Horoscopes for the Week of May 21st

Your Love & Romance Horoscopes for the Week of May 21st

Aries

As Venus, planet of love spends her first full week in retrograde motion in your communication sector she does so with the full support of Saturn, in retrograde motion in your relationship sector. These two planets will continue to work together until they both turn direct, within just 3 days of each other, later next month. Until then the doors are open to second chances on the communication and relationship fronts and especially where the two come together. Yet it’s the Sun and Moon’s return to your communication sector and the solar eclipse this creates on Monday, that also opens the door to new opportunities on the communication front. This will also support your relationships, with a sense that a corner has been turned with communication now everything.

Taurus

Mars, planet of passion’s opposition with Chiron, planet of healing last week was the last of several challenges over recent weeks and months, but with the final hurdle now behind you there is a new sense of confidence kicking in. Mars won’t leave your romantic sector until early July and with no more roadblocks, he’s about to take things into high gear, with the romantic passions that held you back in the past now let loose. The only thing that can hold you down now or stop you from fully experiencing the romantic breakthroughs now possible, is to be held back by the past. You can’t change the past but you can change how you look back on and label the past. Do so in a way that sets you free to embrace the romantic passions that are begging to be embraced.

Gemini

As Venus spends her first full week in retrograde motion in your sign it’s with the full support of Saturn, in retrograde motion in your romantic sector. This is Saturn’s last retrograde phase in your romantic sector for another 30 years and Venus will stay in retrograde motion until it’s over, ensuring that a trip down memory lane that may have been challenging is now a lot more enjoyable. Saturn is more focused on learning from and confronting the past while Venus is on the lookout for second chances as she takes a trip down love’s memory lane. Venus will stop this from becoming too serious and Saturn from becoming overly sentimental. Don’t be put off by any relationship pressure, for its providing some wake up calls ahead of a lunar eclipse on the 4th June.

Cancer

A sense of romantic and relationship nostalgia was already evident with Venus in a nostalgic part of your chart and Pluto in retrograde motion in your relationship sector however this deepens further this week. It was Venus’ retrograde turn last week and her first full week in retrograde motion that puts the only two planets influencing things on the personal front in retrograde motion, with the focus on the past. This also means that Venus has had to postpone her return to your sign, now not returning until August, giving you a chance instead to take some trips down love’s memory lane and exorcise some old ghosts. You can’t change the past, but with some huge romantic developments in the second half of the year, this gives you a chance to revisit the past in a way that sets you free.

Leo

Chances are you’ll move into the new week with a sense that the love gods are anything but on your side, with some real pressure. This is coming from the fact that both the Sun and Moon, during their alignment that forms a solar eclipse in a social and serendipitous part of your chart on Monday, will both put direct pressure on the North Node, over in your romantic sector. This comes 2 weeks to the day before a lunar eclipse in your romantic and creative sector on the 4th June, which is destined to be bringing anything building to a head or to a turning or tipping point, as well as bringing you to a romantic crossroads. Any pressure at the start of the week will be temporary, but it’s going to provide a valuable wakeup call when you can least afford to fall asleep at the wheel.

Virgo

After last week’s opposition between Mars, planet of passion in your sign and Chiron, planet of healing in your relationship sector, there is likely to be a tentative sense of reprieve in the air as you move into the new week. While any relationship pressure is likely to have scaled right back, chances are you still have your guard up, for after all this has waned in the past only to return. This time around the reprieve is as permanent as anything can be, in that if your relationships are never tested they’ll eventually stagnate. But in terms of the pressures faced over recent weeks and months this is over, with a chance now to move on. While the healing process will continue, with the roadblocks behind you there is a return of hope and optimism.

Libra

There is a growing sense of confidence on the relationship and romantic fronts and for different reasons. On the relationship front the main thrust to get your relationships up to speed is behind you and after the Moon visited your relationship sector last month, you’ve had a chance to tweak things. Now it’s more about keeping things on track, with a need to continuously reinvent the wheel. With your relationships no longer a major focus, but enough going on for you to keep things in motion, there is a lot more focus and attention on Venus, planet of love. With Venus spending her first full week in an adventurous part of your chart, she’s taking you on a guided tour down love’s memory lane, revealing what you might be missing out on while opening the door to second chances.

Scorpio

After forces on the romantic front faced their final challenge last week, things have eased back and as this is an ongoing journey the urgency shifts to your relationships this week. While you begin the week with the Sun, Moon, Mercury and Jupiter in your relationship sector, making this the most active area of your chart and therefore the most dominant aspect, you will end the week with Jupiter not only on his own, but getting ready to leave in just a few weeks time. The real shift comes on Monday when, within hours of each other, first the Sun and then the Moon leave your relationship sector, neither meeting up with lucky Jupiter again here for another 12 years. With Mercury leaving your relationship sector on Thursday there’s an urgent need to ensure the communication lines are open.

Sagittarius

Expect a dramatic turnaround on the relationship front, in what is destined to be a defining and game changing week on the relationship front. This is Venus, planet of love’s first full week in retrograde motion in your relationship sector and as the only planet here, this should make this a very nostalgic week, with the door open to second chances. That is still the case, but this is complimented by the fact that the Sun and Moon not only both return to your relationship sector on Monday but align to form a solar eclipse, which is a supercharged New Moon. Between this New Moon and a second next month everything will change. This opens the door to new beginnings while the door to the past is open, with Mercury’s return on Thursday opening the communication lines.

Capricorn

There is a new sense of urgency on the romantic front this week with the Sun and Moon leaving your romantic sector on Monday, Mercury on Thursday and none meeting up with lucky Jupiter again here for another 12 years. Even Jupiter, in your romantic sector since June 2011, is getting ready to leave on the 12th June, with a real sense that it’s time to wrap things up. As the Sun, Moon and Mercury leave they’ll each leave you with the insight needed to make the coming weeks count, especially when it comes to putting your romantic expectations on the path you want them to continue on. The Moon’s return to your relationship sector on Friday provides some valuable wake up calls, in his last visit before things start to move on the relationship front, in just a few weeks time.

Aquarius

The love gods are out in force this week, making this a one of the most romantically charged weeks of the year to date and the start of what is destined to be a game changing month. As you move into the new week Venus is spending her first full week in retrograde motion in your romantic sector, holding the door open to second chances. Yet it’s on Monday that within hours of each other, that the Sun and Moon not only return to your romantic sector but align to form a solar eclipse. This is a super charged New Moon with the element of fate woven in, opening the door to new beginnings and opportunities. With Mercury returning to your romantic sector on Thursday and Jupiter in just a few weeks time, the doors to both new opportunities and second chances are wide open.

Pisces

What a difference a week makes. Last week you were facing yet more relationship challenges yet this was also the final hurdle and with no more to cross and all your cards on the table, you should have a clear sense of what you’re fighting for and against. It’s Mars, the warrior planet of the cosmos that now has a clear run, with no more obstacles in his path before leaving your relationship sector on the 4th July. It was a coming together of forces on the communication front over the weekend that helped to not only turn things around, but to get this rebuilding phase up to speed. Pay attention to romantic vibes that are going to come into play just in time for the weekend, as the Moon makes his last visit to your romantic sector before new doors open from early next month.

the daily humorscopes for monday, may 21

the daily humorscope

Monday, May 21, 2012

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You will call someone today, who will insist on calling you “Sven.” Humor them — act impressed.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Today you’ll develop a rare mental disorder, causing you to mix metaphors. But don’t you worry — you can’t make an omlette without a silver lining, and in this case, you’ll discover that everyone will confuse mixed metaphors with management potential. BIG promotion in store.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Today you will discover an ancient stone tablet on which mystic runes are carved. Oddly, when you find someone to translate them from Old Norse, it will turn out to be a collection of moose jokes.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Don’t lose hope! Conditions like yours are painful and embarassing, but often clear up on their own.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Good day to let your imagination soar. Tomorrow: imagining you’re sore.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Time for a career change. Have you considered the exciting and lucrative career of “despot”? One of the nice perks about that is that you can wear a rediculous hat without people laughing at you.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You will discover the secret to becoming a great artist! You can stick anything you want on the wall, the trick is to make people think deep thought went into it. For example, spray-paint a bathroom plunger gold, and stick little angel wings on it. Call it “Life In The Details.”
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Nothing especially remarkable will happen today. You will get a strange urge to talk like Ziggy Marley, but it will pass.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You will become embroiled in a serious dispute about food. Feelings will be hurt. Bygones will eventually be bygones, but not until you ease off on the Tabasco.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
If you don’t start flossing more often, the tooth fairy will be a constant companion. Start taking better care of yourself.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
You will inherit millions, along with a rather elderly butler named Hodgson. You’ll have a nice time.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You’ve been a little down lately, and it’s time to snap out of it! You’ve got to smell the roses while there’s time, since you’re not going to live forever. Which is good, since you’re already seeing hair in funny places…

the daily humorscopes for sunday, may 20

the daily humorscopes

 Sunday, May 20, 2012

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Excellent day to play the William Tell Overture really loud, and leap around flailing your arms. Try not to knock over the lamp.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You will hear a strange flapping sound today. Glancing outside, you will see a precision drill team marching by wearing scuba flippers and waving feather dusters. Avoid eye contact. Stay indoors.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Excellent day to get involved in one or more conspiracies. If you can hold secret meetings in darkened rooms, so much the better!
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Everyone you know will wear unmatched socks, today. Actually, it’s stranger than you think — they’ll all members of a pagan cult, and this is Sock Swap Day.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Beware of Doug.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Late in the day today you will notice that people seem to be staring at your nose. Don’t worry. It’s probably nothing.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You will get a postcard from the Forbidden City today, containing some very unsettling news. You won’t realize that, of course, since it will be written in a language you don’t understand.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You need to stop accepting responsibility for your own life. Everything is actually the fault of that darned liberal media, you know. You’d be nearly perfect, or at least much thinner, if it wasn’t for them.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Don’t lose hope! Conditions like yours are painful and embarrassing, but often clear up on their own.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
You need to be a bit more brusque, to cut down on your interruptions. Stay just this side of gruff, however – and make sure you don’t stray into crustiness.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
A friend will ask you to give her a ride to Main street. You’ll forget where you’re going, though, and drive her to Distraction.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You will attempt to single-handedly bring the “Spaghetti Western” back from obscurity. Your first film will be “A Fistful of Noodles”, in which an aging Clint Eastwood rides into town. This time, however, he will resolve the differences between the Baxters and the Rojos by inviting them all over for a nice pasta dinner.

Daily Horoscopes for Friday, May 18

We may actually have time to take a few deep breaths and relax today as the Moon enters bucolic Taurus at 6:03 am EDT. Although we might want to accomplish a lot now, it’s difficult to shift into gear with six planets in solid Earth signs. The lack of momentum means an early start to a lazy weekend as indicated by the Moon’s harmonious trines to Mars and Pluto. However, the pace picks up noticeably by Sunday evening’s New Moon Solar Eclipse.
Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You are building your case to justify something you intend to do, but this rationalization may be more about convincing yourself than anyone else. Think about what you’re taking for granted before reconsidering your assumptions. You might need to change your mind, even if you are certain that you’re right. It’s crucial to establish an enduring foundation for your beliefs before you are too far along in your plans.

 
Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You are under steady pressure to change, but you will grow stronger by resisting on specific points. You may believe that others are judging you unfairly, yet you seem to take it all in stride. However, you could grow weary from the stress because you must pay attention to every single move you make. Try not to get too frustrated if your progress is stymied. It’s better to take small steps than none at all.

 
Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

The intensity of your daily routine continues to settle now, but even if you act as if you’re doing great, things may not be as pleasant as you prefer. You may feel restless because you want more variety and excitement in your life. If your need for mental stimulation isn’t being met, then something must change. Bide your time for a few more days; the energy will shift in a positive direction next week.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You have been running hot and cold lately, challenging you to find a happy medium between the extremes. Even if you attempt to smooth things out today, it still may feel like you’re bouncing back and forth between optimism and pessimism. Thankfully, the pragmatic Taurus Moon gives you the common sense to move beyond your clever words. Remember, if you don’t push so hard now, you won’t have to retreat as far.

 
Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

It may be easier for you to reach your goals today if you are more realistic about them. Fortunately, your concentration seems to take you further than usual now, enabling you to make a lot of progress. Ultimately, you don’t need to pull any rabbits out of magical hats; you have a good chance of touching the stars if you just keep your feet on the ground.

 
Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You may discover an opportunity to embark on a special trip, an extended holiday or just a weekend getaway now with four planets in your 9th House of Travel. Don’t let this opportunity pass. Daydream about your vacation today; don’t even try to hide your vision. Just bring an unconventional scheme out into the open, and the rewards might follow quicker than you expect.

 
Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You can be pulled into someone’s drama now before you even realize what happened. Although you probably have plenty of complications in your life, there may be a few more yet to handle. Even if there’s a storm brewing around you, the good news is that you’re feeling more centered. Don’t be tricked into thinking that you will lose a chance at success unless you act decisively right away. The truth is that even the smallest steps can lead to major improvements.

 
Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You are like a participant in a relay race now, trying to maintain a steady pace. You are finished with one cycle yet the next one hasn’t yet started. If you aren’t willing to let go of the baton, you will be stuck doing the same old thing. Fortunately, your teammates are more stable than you think and handing off responsibilities to them is a smart strategy.

 
Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Attention to endless minutiae can make you crazy as the practical Taurus Moon joins three other planets in your 6th House of Efficiency. However, demands are being made on you to pay additional attention to things so tiny that you’re sure there’s a conspiracy afoot. You would like to demonstrate how good you are at managing the big picture and prefer to ignore the details. Balance is your key to success today, so keep one eye on the greater whole and the other on the specifics.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Endings and beginnings go hand in hand, but sometimes the timing is off. Unfortunately, you may already be champing at the bit, yet another set of obstacles prevents you from reaching your destination. Instead of bolting ahead, take the time to methodically finish up the old business in your life so you are completely free to step into the new creative cycle starting next week.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Your focus is on domestic affairs this weekend, and you’re likely to spend more time at home and with your family. You might even get drawn into activities without being formally asked. Your boundaries aren’t as firm as they usually are today, leaving you more susceptible to the whims of those you love. Although you may not know exactly the best way to move forward, the wisdom will come to you just in the nick of time.

 
Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You don’t want to have any secrets now. Whatever it is that you’ve been holding within your heart, it’s time to open up. Receive the love, while remembering that the potential for hurt arrives at the same time. Ultimately, you can make the best of a difficult situation if you’re willing to share the wide range of feelings that you’re experiencing.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Attention to endless minutiae can make you crazy as the practical Taurus Moon joins three other planets in your 6th House of Efficiency. However, demands are being made on you to pay additional attention to things so tiny that you’re sure there’s a conspiracy afoot. You would like to demonstrate how good you are at managing the big picture and prefer to ignore the details. Balance is your key to success today, so keep one eye on the greater whole and the other on the specifics.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Endings and beginnings go hand in hand, but sometimes the timing is off. Unfortunately, you may already be champing at the bit, yet another set of obstacles prevents you from reaching your destination. Instead of bolting ahead, take the time to methodically finish up the old business in your life so you are completely free to step into the new creative cycle starting next week.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Your focus is on domestic affairs this weekend, and you’re likely to spend more time at home and with your family. You might even get drawn into activities without being formally asked. Your boundaries aren’t as firm as they usually are today, leaving you more susceptible to the whims of those you love. Although you may not know exactly the best way to move forward, the wisdom will come to you just in the nick of time.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You don’t want to have any secrets now. Whatever it is that you’ve been holding within your heart, it’s time to open up. Receive the love, while remembering that the potential for hurt arrives at the same time. Ultimately, you can make the best of a difficult situation if you’re willing to share the wide range of feelings that you’re experiencing.

Your Daily Horoscopes for Friday, May 18

We may actually have time to take a few deep breaths and relax today as the Moon enters bucolic Taurus at 6:03 am EDT. Although we might want to accomplish a lot now, it’s difficult to shift into gear with six planets in solid Earth signs. The lack of momentum means an early start to a lazy weekend as indicated by the Moon’s harmonious trines to Mars and Pluto. However, the pace picks up noticeably by Sunday evening’s New Moon Solar Eclipse.

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You are building your case to justify something you intend to do, but this rationalization may be more about convincing yourself than anyone else. Think about what you’re taking for granted before reconsidering your assumptions. You might need to change your mind, even if you are certain that you’re right. It’s crucial to establish an enduring foundation for your beliefs before you are too far along in your plans.

 

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)
You are under steady pressure to change, but you will grow stronger by resisting on specific points. You may believe that others are judging you unfairly, yet you seem to take it all in stride. However, you could grow weary from the stress because you must pay attention to every single move you make. Try not to get too frustrated if your progress is stymied. It’s better to take small steps than none at all.
 
 
Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

The intensity of your daily routine continues to settle now, but even if you act as if you’re doing great, things may not be as pleasant as you prefer. You may feel restless because you want more variety and excitement in your life. If your need for mental stimulation isn’t being met, then something must change. Bide your time for a few more days; the energy will shift in a positive direction next week.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You have been running hot and cold lately, challenging you to find a happy medium between the extremes. Even if you attempt to smooth things out today, it still may feel like you’re bouncing back and forth between optimism and pessimism. Thankfully, the pragmatic Taurus Moon gives you the common sense to move beyond your clever words. Remember, if you don’t push so hard now, you won’t have to retreat as far.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

It may be easier for you to reach your goals today if you are more realistic about them. Fortunately, your concentration seems to take you further than usual now, enabling you to make a lot of progress. Ultimately, you don’t need to pull any rabbits out of magical hats; you have a good chance of touching the stars if you just keep your feet on the ground.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You may discover an opportunity to embark on a special trip, an extended holiday or just a weekend getaway now with four planets in your 9th House of Travel. Don’t let this opportunity pass. Daydream about your vacation today; don’t even try to hide your vision. Just bring an unconventional scheme out into the open, and the rewards might follow quicker than you expect.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You can be pulled into someone’s drama now before you even realize what happened. Although you probably have plenty of complications in your life, there may be a few more yet to handle. Even if there’s a storm brewing around you, the good news is that you’re feeling more centered. Don’t be tricked into thinking that you will lose a chance at success unless you act decisively right away. The truth is that even the smallest steps can lead to major improvements.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You are like a participant in a relay race now, trying to maintain a steady pace. You are finished with one cycle yet the next one hasn’t yet started. If you aren’t willing to let go of the baton, you will be stuck doing the same old thing. Fortunately, your teammates are more stable than you think and handing off responsibilities to them is a smart strategy.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Attention to endless minutiae can make you crazy as the practical Taurus Moon joins three other planets in your 6th House of Efficiency. However, demands are being made on you to pay additional attention to things so tiny that you’re sure there’s a conspiracy afoot. You would like to demonstrate how good you are at managing the big picture and prefer to ignore the details. Balance is your key to success today, so keep one eye on the greater whole and the other on the specifics.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Endings and beginnings go hand in hand, but sometimes the timing is off. Unfortunately, you may already be champing at the bit, yet another set of obstacles prevents you from reaching your destination. Instead of bolting ahead, take the time to methodically finish up the old business in your life so you are completely free to step into the new creative cycle starting next week.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Your focus is on domestic affairs this weekend, and you’re likely to spend more time at home and with your family. You might even get drawn into activities without being formally asked. Your boundaries aren’t as firm as they usually are today, leaving you more susceptible to the whims of those you love. Although you may not know exactly the best way to move forward, the wisdom will come to you just in the nick of time.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You don’t want to have any secrets now. Whatever it is that you’ve been holding within your heart, it’s time to open up. Receive the love, while remembering that the potential for hurt arrives at the same time. Ultimately, you can make the best of a difficult situation if you’re willing to share the wide range of feelings that you’re experiencing.