Sometimes…
Sometimes
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Category: A Laugh for Today
Some Humor for Saturday
1. What do Ghosts suffer from?
Saturday fright fever.
2. Why are Saturday and Sunday strong?
Because all the other days are week days.
3. What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
4. If you think Thursday are depressing, wait two days
Then it would be a sadder day (Saturday)
5. John Travolta tested negative for Coronavirus last night.
Turns out is was just a Saturday Night Fever.
6. Why could I not attend my friend’s dumplings party on Saturday morning?
Because I had to wok on Friday night.
Some Humor for Your Day
A Little Humor for Your Day – “Things A Witch’s Significant Other May Say”
Some Humor for Your Day
What can you do to prevent a summer cold? Catch it in winter.
In the summer, what do snowmen do? Chillout.
What word does a mermaid use to address her friends? A shell phone, of course.
What do you pay to enjoy the beach for a day? Sand dollars.
Why did the detectives show up at the concert on the beach? Something fishy was going on.
On Tarzan’s summer vacation, where did he go? Hollywood and Vine.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
What kind of sandwich is best for the beach? Peanut butter and jellyfish.
Brown, hairy, and wearing sunglasses, what is it A coconut on summer vacation.
Where is your pet bird’s favorite summer vacation destination? The Canary Islands!
What makes a seagull fly above water? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
Some Humor for Your Day
My students aren’t afraid to ask questions
“How do you spell toad?” one of my first-grade students asked.
“We just read a story about a toad,” I said, then helped him spell it out: “T-O-A-D.”
Satisfied, he finished writing the story he’d begun, then read it aloud: “I toad my mama I wanted a dog for my birthday.”
Some Humor for Your Day
Why did the kid think it was Sunday?
Because the sun is out!
Why did the Sun cover its eyes on Sunday?
It saw the back side of the moon.
What is a vampire’s least favourite day?
Sunday
Which day of the week do sunflowers adore?
Sunday
Sunday and Monday are in a fight. Who wins?
Sunday. Monday is a weak day.
What do you call a barber that refuses to close on Sundays?
A Hair-etic.
Why do hot dogs and Sundays go together so well?
Because that’s not the wurst thing for a day at the ballpark.
What do you call somebody who only experiences extreme anxiety on Saturday and Sunday?
A weekend worrier.
What day is ice cream day?
Sunday!
Which day of the week makes you happy in the morning and sad at bedtime?
Sunday.
What is the nastiest word you can use on Sunday?
Monday!
Why is Sunday such a fun day?
Because all you really have to do is sleep until you’re hungry, and then eat until you feel sleepy.
Why are the week days actually the strongest days of the week?
Because they all work out.
Why do I always feel great on Saturday and Sunday, and sick on all the other days?
Maybe I just have a weekend immune system.
Some Humor for Your Day
A judge tells the defendant, “You’re charged with attacking your boss with a hammer.”
“You jerk!” yells a voice in the back of the courtroom.
“You’re also charged with attacking a bartender with a hammer”, the judge continues.
“Jerrkkk!” bellows the same man.
The judge bangs his gavel. “Sir,” he says, “one more outburst and I’ll charge you with contempt.”
“I’m sorry, Your Honor”, says the man. “But I’ve been his neighbor for 10 years, and every time I ask to borrow a hammer; he said he didn’t have one.”
From February 2023 issue of Reader’s Digest.
Some Humor for Your Day
5 Very Literal Translations from March/April 2023 issue of Reader’s Digest
Papier vampier (Afrikaans)
Translation” “paper vampire”
What we call it: Stapler
Bergmal (Icelandic)
Translation: “rock language”
What we call it: Echo
Schagzeug (German)
Translation: “Hit Stuff’
What we call it: drums
Gavisti (Sanskrit)
Translation: “desire for cattle”
What we call it: War
Nui zai ku (Mandarin)
Translation: “cowboy pants”
What we call it: Jeans
Some Humor for Your Day
Some Witchy Humor for Your Day
Why do witches stay in 5 star hotels?
Because of the excellent broom service!
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese!
Why did the witch give up fortune telling?
She didn’t see any future in it?
How does a witch tell the time?
She looks at her witch watch!
What do you call two witches who live together?
Broom-mates!
What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?
Every time she sneezed, she blew her hat off!
Whats the problem with twin witches?
You never know witch is which!
What game do witches play on halloween?
Hide and ghost seek!
What’s a witch’s favourite ride at the fun fair?
The scary-go-round!
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
Why do cats prefer wizards to witches?
Because sorcerers sometimes have milk in them!
What’s a witch’s favourite make-up?
Ma-scare-a!
What do you learn at witch school?
Spelling!
Why did three witches call in the plumber?
Hubble, bubble, toilet trouble!
What do you call a witch with chickenpox?
An itchy witchy!
What do the fastest witches use to get around?
Vroomsticks!
What do witches use to style their hair?
Scare spray!
How do you make a witch itch?
Take away the ‘w’!
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell!
What happenes to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled!
What noise did the witch’s cereal make?
Snap, cackle and pop!
Laugh-Of-The-Day: You Know Someone is New To Paganism or Magick when… c. 2012
You Know Someone Is New To Paganism or Magick When……
An ATHAME is the gas you use for your grill.
A CENSOR is a drink you mix with alcohol.
ASTRAL PROJECTION is a home-made movie viewer.
A SYMPATHITIC LINK is when you feel sorry because your chain broke.
WICCA is that part of the candle that burns.
APHRODITE is a prehistoric bird.
ARCHETYPES is a kind of building structure.
BLESSED BE is the god of insects.
A BOOK OF SHADOWS contains silhouettes of friends or family members.
A BRAZIER is support wear for women.
CASTING is done with a fishing line, or on a set in Hollywood.
CHARGING is done with a credit card or battery.
The only way to get into a CIRCLE is to have the right of way.
Crystal CLEANSING is done with window cleaner.
CYCLES have to do with your washing machine and when to add fabric softener.
DEMETER is where you put your quarter when you park downtown.
A DOLMAN is a new brand of banana.
HANDFASTING is eating without utensils.
LEY LINES happen at the airport in Hawaii.
PAN is something you fry food in.
A QUARTER is 25 cents and still buys a cup of coffee. (Note: This person is not only new to magick, but they also haven’t been out in a while!)
SKYCLAD is a shade of blue clothing.
A TRAD is a type of geometrical figure.
WHEEL OF FORTUNE is the game show with Vanna White.
A Little Humor for Your Day
This is Lady Carla Beltane today! It went out Thursday evening and it is still not back. I hope it is having a good time while leaving me in pain…ROFLOL
A Little Humor for Your Day
Wouldn’t it be great if we could plant our favorite flower to grow over a hammock or lawn chair in our favorite spot to sit outside?
“Laugh and the Whole World Laughs With You,” Now Cackling…
A Little Humor for Your Day
What is hump day like for the working parents?
Wednesday that never leaves them alone with never-ending work.
Why did the employee get a camel in the office building?
Because the boss said, ‘Bring in the hump day’.
What did the student say when they had too much homework on Wednesday?
This is the Monday-est Wednesday ever!
Why are Sundays stronger than Wednesdays?
Because Wednesday is a week day.
Why did the woman cry on a Wednesday evening?
Because she thought it was whine Wednesday.
What do camels sing on karaoke night?
My hump, my hump, my hump (ha), my lovely lady lumps
Why did the man call it a weekend on a Wednesday?
Because he said, “After two days it will be Friday, which makes tomorrow a pre-Friday, hence, it is a weekend on Wednesday”.
Why don’t they have Drivers Ed on Wednesday in the Middle East?
It wears out the camel.
A Chuckle for Your Day
A Little Humor for Your Day
In honor of my grandson who is studying to be a surgeon. He has not decided what type of surgeon just yet but is leaning towards cardio-thoracic
A Little Humor for Your Day
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What do cows do on Saturday nights? They go to the mooooovies.
What did Friday say to Thursday? Come over on Saturday and stay for a Sundae.
What do ghosts like to do on a Saturday night? Boogie.
Which day of the week does one need the most? A day between Saturday and Sunday.
When did the King have his jousting contests? On Saturday Knight.
How do you keep the dreams alive on Saturdays? By hitting the snooze button.
What does a taxidermist do on Saturdays? Nothing special, just the usual stuff.
Why are fish lonely on the weekends? Because there’s no school on Saturdays or Sundays.
Why is Saturday actually a depressing day of the week? Because it’s a sadder day.
A Little Humor for Your Day
One of my favorite easy, corny jokes for children of all ages…
How to get catch a unique bird?
wait for it…
almost to the answer…
just scroll down a little more…
Witches Of The Craft® 
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