We had a question in regards to this spell. It seems there is a little confusion on what the Symbol of the Guardian would look like. I noticed in the spell, it was described how to do it. I agree with the person who was confused on what this symbol looked like. I have not put my graphic program on this computer yet. So I have tracked down another symbol that will work just as well in this spell. The plus, it is not near as confusing as the one described in the spell.
After I post it here, I am going to post it on the spell as an alternative. This symbol is Dragon’s Eye Protection Symbol. It will substitute wonderfully in this spell. I apologize for the confusion and I hope this clears it up.
Dragon’s Eye of Protection
What to Do When the Spell/Ritual Flops
Author: The Redneck Pagan
Picture this: a quite, beautiful full moon night in September. The air is warm and the leaves are changing and you can hear them rattle against each other as you step outside into the night. You have your list in hand, your supplies have been gathered and you have learned the ritual inside and out. You go to a spot in the yard, and set up your altar and prepare yourself. You cast your circle; you follow the script to perfection, not omitting a single word. You then close your circle, leave your libation and pick up your tools. As you walk back to the bright lights of the house you frown because you have a nagging little thought in the back of your head… “Did the dang thing work?”
Sound familiar yet? It probably does, but do not feel bad if this reads like a ritual you have done because it has happened to me as well! In all honesty, I would wager that this has happened to everybody at least once in their witchy careers, and probably more than once! And if someone says that it has never happened to him or her, then I call BS because we are all human. Being human means we are going to make mistakes, have off days. Sometimes our rituals and/or spells will flop and we will feel… nothing.
So, why do our rituals flop? Well, there can be a lot of reasons; I have yet to go through them all myself. Let’s start with the scenario I gave, the full moon solo ritual. There are a lot of reasons that ritual or spell could have failed. A major one is the mental state. Did your day at work suck and all you can think about is the crappy day? Do you have a huge project to do that is looming over you? Did you just have a fight with a loved one? Did you just loose someone you love? Are bills piling up and have you worried out of your skull? Are the kids being brats today? Do you have a high stakes meeting the next day at work? In my humble experience, fatigue and mental stress are the biggest ways to tank your ritual.
In a ritual or a spell, it is our intention that determines the outcome, and if you are worrying about something else, then you are not focusing your intent. Instead you are gnawing at the problem like a dog with a bone. I can personally think of a handful of rituals and spells I did that failed because I was too distracted to perform them! This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you; it just means you need to either sort the problem out in your head before a ritual or find a way to set it aside before the ritual. If I have a problem that is going to last a while, I take a piece of paper, write it down and put it somewhere outside of my ritual space. I tell myself that I am putting this down and will pick it up after the ritual. I then find I can shift my focus to the ritual.
The next thing you want to look at is your medical health. Did you have a headache before the ritual? Were you really hungry? Did you get enough sleep this week? Are you getting over a cold or flu? Did you eat something that made you feel off? Are you taking any prescription medication? Did you take an over the counter medication? Are you feeling healthy and well or run down and blah? Working a ritual does take up our energy, and if you are sick then your body is pulling that energy to heal itself and might not be able to spare any for a ritual. I once tried to do a Samhain ritual right after having the flu; it was a terrible idea. I spent the whole ritual feeling too hot, too cold, my head was pounding and I felt queasy. Halfway through the ritual I apologized to the gods and shut the circle down. I lit a candle, said a prayer to the dead, left an offering outside and went to bed.
Any kind of medication is going to play havoc with your system and can even play with your mind. When I take cough syrup I often will feel dizzy and sleepy, and cold tabs make me feel rather stoned. I am not functioning at 100% on those medications and will avoid rituals when I am taking them (and as I take them when I am sick I know from experience working when sick is not always wise) . Prescription medications are a touchy subject, and one I do not have enough expertise to fully address. I would advise that if it is a short-term medication, such as an antibiotic, wait until you are finished the medication. You are taking it to get well again and you want to conserve your energies for that purpose. Long-term medications are a different story, you might be on them for weeks, months or even years and I am not a medical expert. I would advise that you seek out an elder or a very long time practitioner for their expertise and assistance. They would be able to help you learn your own boundaries with how your body and mind interact with the medications and ritual workings. I would also advise you use good judgment. If a ritual is making you feel terrible and out of whack while you are on medications, stop the ritual and ground yourself immediately.
Okay, so your mental health and intentions were set, but the ritual still flopped. Is it possible you missed something? Maybe you forgot a part in the ritual, or didn’t have your correspondences fine-tuned, maybe you mixed up something. It could be that the time of the day was wrong for the intention of the ritual, or perhaps you selected a Deity that didn’t quite match up with what you were doing. There are a lot of ways that we can make a mistake in our ritual planning and execution. Maybe it was a ritual you read in a book that looked cool, but didn’t mean much to you so you weren’t able to get the right frame of mind. There are lots of things that can throw a ritual off or throw a monkey wrench into a spell.
So what do we do? Well, step one is going to have to be not to panic! The first time I felt nothing in one of my rituals I freaked out and tried to redo it three or four times. Guess what, that didn’t work. I felt less and less power each time and more and more fear and panic. Finally, I got bright and wrote down what happened and walked away from it. A few weeks later I was able to look back and figure out what went wrong. In that case, I was getting over a bad flu and my body was not really ready for the ritual.
First, calm down the panicked recital of “Oh my Goddess, it didn’t work. I’m going to lose my broom! I’m not a witch because it didn’t work”. Take a moment, sit down and write out everything you can. Write what you ate that day, what the weather is like, moon phase, what did you do over the last day or two, what your health is like and for women where in your cycle you are. Then walk away from it for a few days. No, really. Walk away from it for a few days; forget it ever happened.
A few days distance gives you a clearer perspective and can let you see if there were any mistakes made, if your health was off or if your mind wasn’t in the right place. It also gives you some time to watch your life unfold and perhaps see your ritual or spell working. Maybe you cast a spell for abundance and a few days later you got a raise at work, or a friend gave you an old table she didn’t need, or you got an unexpected cheque in the mail. These are results that take some time and you won’t see them right after the ritual/spell.
When I was a very new witch, I would perform a ritual and then sit back and wonder if it did work or not! I was a solitary for years and had nobody to ask if it worked or not. I eventually came across a book that a friend lent me (and I wish I could remember who wrote it so I could credit the author!) and in the book the author spoke about rituals and spells. The author explained that there is no Hollywood effects, no lightening in the sky, no booming voices, or sudden windstorms. The author explained that it would be far subtler. You might feel calmer, more relaxed after ritual. Other people might feel pumped up, full of energy and happy. Others might get chills and tingles across the body while another person might feel a sense of accomplishment at the end.
So, your ritual might not have flopped at all, but you just haven’t learned how your body and mind reacts to the ritual. After I read that, I jotted it down on a sticky note and left it on the front of the notebook I was using as a book of shadows. The next full moon, I went along and performed my ritual. I recorded everything as I have recommended above, and included how I was feeling. I did this for a few months for rituals and spells alike. I discovered that after a successful ritual, I often feel really relaxed, peaceful and a bit tingly inside. After a spell however, I feel pumped up, like I could run to the nearest town (25kms away) and a sense of accomplishment. After I learned this about myself, I was able to gauge when a spell or ritual worked or failed.
So when your ritual or spell goes flop, do not panic, but rather treat it as a great chance to learn something new and to grow. You might discover that you need a certain type of ritual to set the mood or that you are just no good at working a spell when your workload is stressing you out. You might discover that certain Deities don’t work out well with you or that a certain format makes your work tank every time. Either way, it will only lead you to self-discovery and a better understanding of the path you are walking on!
The Redneck Pagan
Why Magic Works: The Key Component
Author: Scott A. Johnson
So here we are, Witches, Wiccans, Pagans, and the like, with one tie that binds us: Magick. Whether you perform rituals aimed at a particular set of Gods or practice as a “Kitchen Witch, ” Magick is one of those parts of the Craft that seems at once to be the most wonderful, and most maligned, aspect of our lifestyle. The most often-asked question, in many forms, is simply “does it work?”
Don’t believe me? Join one of the thousands of online communities and lurk for a while. You’ll find post after post from fluff-bunnies and new practitioners alike that ask for “spells that really work” and whether or not we really believe all this hooey is real. While some generously send along simple recipes for successful spells along and others scoff at the doubters, there are two things that must, in all cases, be addressed.
First, Magick does work. Second, the primary ingredient for it to work is pretty universal.
No, I’m not going to tell you the one Magickal herb that makes everything suddenly have amazing powers. It doesn’t exist.
I’m talking about a single ingredient that can exist in every person, no matter his or her religion, creed, race, sexual preference, or hairstyle: Belief, or faith, if you will.
Let’s look at the person who asks spells that really work. Typically, these people are asking for something that can prove to them that Magick is real. Give this person any spell, and charm, or any ancient wisdom, and chances are it won’t work. Why? Because they initially do not believe it will work. More to the point, they believe it won’t, therefore it doesn’t.
My personal best spells are useless in the hands of a person who doesn’t believe in them, or Magick, because it is my belief in them, my faith if you will, that makes them work. When I speak the words “My will be done, so mote it be, ” I truly believe that what I will shall come to past because it must be so.
There are no hard and fast rules that state that any single word is the only way to get any given desired result. If there were, we wouldn’t have so many solitaries and covens that create their own rituals. Their rituals work for them because they believe in them. They have faith in them.
But why does that make such a difference?
To answer that, we have to take a look at what’s going on in the process of spell casting. At its most base level, almost all spells deal with the manipulation of energy. Whether it’s shielding, influencing, or empowering, we as Witches are dealing with energy. Every Pagan will tell you that we draw energy, release energy, ground energy, etcetera, etcetera. We pull it from the four elements, from the deities, from ourselves. We put ourselves into altered trance states to raise more energy. Many times, people don’t consider that energy other than from where it comes or for where it’s headed. But consider that energy for a moment.
The human body, as well as all living things, gives off an energy field. Scientists have proven that this field expands and contracts, intensifies and wanes, in accordance to several factors, the largest one being emotion. There is a marked, measurable difference in the energy sphere that a person emits when he or she is happy as opposed to when he or she is sad.
One of the most powerful influences on that energy field is simply defined as faith or belief. The stronger the faith, the more powerful the energy that comes out of a person’s body. It stands to reason, then, that if a person truly believes in something, their energy in working with it will be high. For example, in medicine, there is the “placebo” test, in which half the test subjects are given a sugar pill in place of some new experimental wonder drug without knowing. In every case of placebo, there are at least a few subjects that have the desired effects of the drug, simply because they believed they were taking the real thing.
Take also into account the “faith healing” phenomenon. Thermal cameras and electro-meters have recorded marked rises in the energy pouring out of the healers (and I’m talking the real faith healers, here…Not the charlatans) when they use their faith.
It isn’t coincidence, nor is it superstitious mumbo-jumbo; it’s science.
Now, take this into your own rituals and spell-casting. When you cast, are you constantly muttering, “I hope this works?” In the back of your mind, does a nagging voice tell you that you’re being stupid and living in a fantasy world? If so, you’re not going to get results. If you find a spell online and begin to enact it, all the while doubting it and saying “I hope this works, ” though somewhere inside you know it won’t, then guess what. It won’t.
You may have raised power, you may have all the crystals, candles, and bells in the world, but if you doubt your abilities, if you doubt your own intent, and if you do not have faith in your Craft, you will not have the desired effects. Just as faith projects powerful energy, doubt creates a block inside that won’t let that energy come out. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You do not believe it will work, so it doesn’t, that sort of thing.
When you perform a ritual or cast a spell, you have to commit yourself to it, mind, body and spirit. You have to believe to your core that it will work and that your will alone can influence the world around you. You cannot go into a ritual with half a faith. If half is all you have to offer, maybe you should practice more before deciding if the Craft is really what you believe.
If it is to be your faith, embrace it, follow it, and live it in your everyday life, but most importantly, believe in yourself and what you are doing. It doesn’t matter whether you practice in a coven or by yourself, skyclad or clothed, or even the trappings of the ritual. Without your own belief and faith, none of the above matters.
Believe in the words “so mote it be.” Because you will it, so must it be, and that is true Magick.
Who is Afraid of the Big Bad Spell?
Author: Lady Nikata
Once upon a time in the land of far, far away there was a young witch who was interested in performing a spell for her family. The witch looked up lore and tales about several spells that would suit her purpose. She performed them at the witching hour under the old clock tower and in the dale under a misty vale, but she could just not conquer the big bad spell.
Now how many magickal practitioners do you know, or it could be yourself, have tried to perform a spell for anything, money, love, health, beauty, and it did not turn out as you had planned. What could possibly be going array with your work? I hope this informative essay will clear some of those questions up for you.
In essence, a spell is a prayer or a focusing of energy on a particular idea. You need to think this idea through from start to finish. Books and websites will inform you that you need to be careful what you wish for because it has to come from some place. While this sentiment is true, the universe has an abundance of energy that can be formed into anything someone desires; however, there are consequences for conjuring these desires. Thus, you need to think the spell through and be specific on what you ask for.
Let us say you are performing a spell for money. If you only say you need money, then the universe will provide you with money it could be a penny, one hundred dollars, or you could be one of the lucky people to win the power ball jackpot. All of these things are money, but if you needed a specific amount or you wanted your income to grow at a certain rate then you need to ask for that detail. This brings us to the details in the planning of your spell craft.
There are thousands upon thousands of spells out in the world that use candles, runes, oils, incense, stones, dead languages, and more. Much like the antidotal witch above she toiled and studied these spells, but she did not think for herself. Everyone who practices magick is different, so their magicks attune differently with certain items. Personally, I use a bit of everything in my spells and rituals. I do primarily use candles and energy work as the two primary items/ideas in my spell craft.
I am not saying you cannot get or use spells that you find on the Internet or in a book. I find these very inspirational, but not particularly personal. I draw my ideas for a spell from these areas. Here is an example of my spell crafting process:
1. Decide what type of spell to use for the desire.
2. When to perform this spell (moon or sun phase, the day, planetary hour.) ?
3.What items will I need for the spell (candles, incense, poppets, boxes, salt, etc) ? What properties do these items possess and will they strengthen or weaken the spell?
4.Visualize what this spell will achieve in my life or someone else’s life.
Step 1 is, basically, why do you want to perform this spell? Is it for you or someone else? If it is for someone else, what are you receiving in return for the spell? Your energy and time should not be free as there is a cost on you for doing the spell. The person asking you to work your magick should make a sacrifice as well, such as money, time, or trade.
Step 2, when to perform this spell? The times of the year, phases of the moon and sun, day of the week, and planetary hours are all a factor in the timing of a spell. For example, you want to perform a love spell or growing love. I would choose to perform it during the waxing moon to full moon on a Friday or Monday, during the hour of Venus. If you are growing love, you should perform it during the time the moon is growing full (waxing) or during the full moon.
The moon rules over the element of water, which is the gateway to emotions. Friday is the best choice of day for a love spell with Monday coming is a close second. Friday is named after the Norse Goddess of love Freya and Monday is named after the moon. Perform this work during the planetary hour of Venus, the Greek Goddess of Love, during either the day or night. I prefer the night because I am more connected with the moon and nighttime energies. Keep in mind you can do the spell whenever you want; this is just the best time to focus your energy on that subject. I do not know a witch who will not perform an emergency spell when needed; it just will not be as strong as it could be given the correct timing.
Step 3, what items will I need for a spell? Some spells require no items, just your energy and focus. Other spells can feel like you are in potions class with Professor Snape by adding a drop of dragon’s blood to tincture then allowing it to dry on a parchment for three days. In truth, objects are a way to get you to focus your energy on your idea. These objects typically have a particular color, herb, oil, etc that fit the theme of the spell. All of these things help you work your energy into the spell.
If you are making a poppet or doll you are placing your focus on creating that object for a specific purpose. Just like when people say the secret ingredient in baking is love. Imagine that little old granny whipping up a batch of cookies for her grandkids. She is probably visualizing how much she loves her family and that they are going to love the special treat she is cooking for them. That energy goes into the spoon and down into the dough that will later be chewy delectable desserts. The same principal goes with your spell work. When you make the incense, oil, or inscribe a candle you need to visualize what this object will help you accomplish with the spell.
This brings us to the final step in my spell crafting process. Step 4, visualize what this spell is going to achieve. The spell is only as good as the energy and focus or sacrifice that is put into it. This is why in step 2 you choose the times that will give your energy a boost. Also your confidence level is a huge part of the spell as well. If you believe your spell will work, it will work. A large portion of this is the visualization. Let’s say you are doing a spell for weight loss. You will need to see yourself getting thinner, exercising, eating healthy, and doing what you need to do to make yourself obtain this goal. Imagine your life as the new you. All this will help focus your attention on the spell. Also, do not get discouraged if the spell does not work right away.
Sometimes things need to settle and line up to make the spell happen. Doing another spell right away will void out both spells and show that you do not trust yourself. In my opinion, if you work a spell and nothing happens within 6 months then you can try again. If nothing happens after that, the universe is trying to tell you something or you might not have done the work outside of the magickal realm to bring the idea to fruition.
Just take another peek at the statement above. Sometimes no matter how much we desire something, the Gods and/or the Universe do not want us to have this particular fixation for whatever reason. There is nothing saying that you will not obtain the object of your desire, just not at this time. On that other hand, you may need to do some post or prep work for your spell to take root. If you would like to obtain a particular job, you cannot just sit around and hope it comes to you. You need to fill out applications, write resumes, take certain tests, and set up interviews. In other words, the Universe will not do everything for you; you need to do your part as well.
The one major thing that you need in spell craft is confidence. If you do not believe in your power as an individual or as a witch, you cannot even hope to perform the simplest of spells. If you have never done spell work before, start out with small things such as raising energy, then work up to more complex spells. With self-confidence, the right energy, items, and knowledge, there is no reason you cannot be successful with spells. So who’s afraid of the big, bad spell?
Not you, not me.
So mote it be.
A consecration ritual to be used to rid a place of unwanted presences and for the general cleansing of a location. This is an excellent ritual to perform after a conjuration.
On a piece of natural paper, draw a simple pentacle. In the center of the pentacle, place a drop of Consecration Oil or consecrated rainwater using the tip of your right index finger.
Each room you wish to cleanse should be entered holding the pentacle in your right hand and the following invocation should be spoken aloud:
By the power of the spirits of all light and good
I command you evil to take your leave
And linger no more
By the power of the spirits of all light and good
I banish and cleanse
So that no foul or unclean spirit
May rest here
So that no evil will or intent shall exist
And the power of these too
Shall likewise be gone
By the power of the spirits of all light and good
I ask this be done.
When this has been completed, the piece of paper upon which the pentacle was drawn must be burned so that only ashes exist. The ashes must then be disposed of so that they are removed from the place you have cleansed and consecrated.
Spells – Magic – Symbols
This ritual is used to consecrate or cleanse an object, such as a magickal tool, talisman or any object you wish to bless or cleanse.
Light seven candles and place them to form a circle. Recite the following incantation:
Circle of light,
Cleanse and bless,
All which enters your domain.
Place a small bowl of rainwater in the center of the circle and speak the following words:
Circle of light,
Accept this water of the earth,
In it may your powers reside.
Remove the bowl from the circle. Lightly sprinkle some of the water over the object you wish to consecrate. If you have Consecration Oil, place some on the tip of you right index finger and touch the object with it three times and no more than three times. If you do not have Consecration Oil, skip this step.
Place the object in the center of the circle of candles. Once you have placed the object in the circle, do not move it again until the ritual is completed. Starting with any candle, extinguish the candles one at a time in a clockwise rotation. When all of the candles have been extinguished, the ritual is complete, the object has been consecrated, and may be touched and moved.
Spells – Magic – Symbols
Protection Spell 2
A spell of protection for a dwelling.
You will need Protection Oil or consecrated rainwater.
Light a single candle. Holding the bottle of Protection Oil or container of consecrated rainwater in your right hand, recite the following incantation:
Recite the following incantation:
Spirits of protection
Pass your power through me
Let it reside in this liquid
Let its infinite force take hold and remain
For with this consecrated liquid
I ask you watch over and fend off
All evil that dare make effort to intrude
In attempt to destroy the peace that rests within
This having been asked
Let it be so
This having been said, with your right index finger dipped in the oil or water, place an X mark on the frame of each window or door that leads to the outside of the dwelling.
As you make each mark, speak these words:
Let no evil enter
When a mark has been made on the frame of each opening, extinguish the candle.
The spell has been cast.
Spells – Magic – Symbols
Protection Spell 1
A magic spell designed to harness the powers of the cosmos to provide protection.
A spell to be cast to provide protection of oneself from evil.
On the eve of a full moon, light three candles and place them in the formation of a triangle. In the center of the triangle, place a hair from your head or body, or a clipping from one of the fingernails of your right hand.
Recite the following incantation:
Protective spirits draw near
Around me form a circle of strength
That no evil shall pass through
Lest harm be done
And of your powers a mockery be made
Using Protection Oil or natural vegetable oil on the tip of each of your index fingers, draw the symbol below in the palm of each hand:
Extinguish the candles. Place the hair or nail clipping near the main entrance of the room in which you sleep and leave it there. Do not wash your hands until the sun has risen.
The spell is done.
Spells – Magic – Symbols
Moon Spell 2
A spell to invoke the powers of the Moon upon a personal action. This spell is specially designed to work under the powers of the moon using specially prepared moon oils. On the night of a full moon, near midnight, draw a circle on a flat surface, such as a table or counter top, with Moon Oil or fresh rainwater. In the center of the circle, place a single lighted candle.
Close your eyes and picture in your mind’s eye that action which you need or desire to take and upon which you wish to invoke the moon’s powers for assistance in the deed. Keep your eyes closed and count silently and slowly to seven. Upon reaching seven, open your eyes and repeat the following incantation while staring into the flame of the candle:
Spirit and power of the moon
Guardian of the night
Hider of secret things
Keeper of the second watch
Look upon me
And this thing I wish to do
Extend your hand and hold fast
To this deed that it may not fail
Lest your presence be ignored
And your aid held worthless
In the eyes of the ignorant
And the eyes of the wise
This of you I ask
That it may be so.
Extinguish the candle. The spell is done.
The spell is done.
Spells – Magic – Symbols
Moon Spell 1
This spell is used for gaining the favor of the powers of the Moon. It is an excellent spell for adding vitality to your life.
On the eve of a full moon, close to midnight, dip the tip of your right index finger into either Moon Oil or natural vegetable oil and trace a pentacle on a flat surface, such as a tabletop or counter top. Light five candles and place one at each point of the pentacle. In the center of the pentacle, place a small glass of your favorite beverage.
Recite the following incantation:
I call to the Moon
That her powers cast upon this night
Be caught and kept
Consumed in faith
Revered and praised
Used for the good intent
That no evil shall pass
Lest all be undone
And this spell be for naught
May your blessings and energy
Live within me
Quickly, drink the beverage and starting at any point, extinguish the candles in a clockwise rotation.
The spell is done.
Spells – Magic – Symbols
Astronomy Picture of the Day
Discover the cosmos! Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer.
2015 September 6
Explanation: What’s that rising over the edge of the Moon? Earth. About 47 years ago, in December of 1968, the Apollo 8 crew flew from the Earth to the Moon and back again. Frank Borman, James Lovell, and William Anders were launched atop a Saturn V rocket on December 21, circled the Moon ten times in their command module, and returned to Earth on December 27. The Apollo 8 mission’s impressive list of firsts includes: the first humans to journey to the Earth’s Moon, the first to fly using the Saturn V rocket, and the first to photograph the Earth from deep space. As the Apollo 8 command module rounded the farside of the Moon, the crew could look toward the lunar horizon and see the Earth appear to rise, due to their spacecraft’s orbital motion. Their famous picture of a distant blue Earth above the Moon’s limb was a marvelous gift to the world.
Looking back as the planet of love turns forward
I knew this Venus Retrograde would be a game-changer. You see, Venus Retrograde cycles repeat themselves every eight years, so you can actually go back in time and retrace cycles of the past to see what you’ll experience in the present. This retrograde — which began July 25 in early Virgo, and lasts until September 6 in mid-Leo — repeated the same cycle from the summers of 2007, 1999, 1991, and so on…
That’s an extremely valuable piece of Astrology information to keep in your tool box my friends! For me, this Venus Retrograde has been ALL about love, children, creativity, and sex. That’s because this Venus Retrograde cycle occurred in my 5th house. Looking back at previous years when this retrograde occurred, I could easily point to the summers of 1991, 1999, and 2007 as being life-changing for me in all 5th-house matters. So I knew that this summer would be no different.
1991: As Venus shifted retrograde I was 17 years old. I experienced my first love, and first heartbreak. Toward the end of this summer I was introduced to the man I would eventually marry and have children with. Typical of Venus Retrograde drama, I wasn’t interested in him at first because I was completely hung up on the man who broke my heart. After Venus turned direct however, I made a choice. I chose the man who treated me like a princess.
1999: The fairytale continued and by the Venus Retrograde cycle of 1999 it evolved to my being pregnant with our first child. I was 25 years old, and while Venus was retrograde in early Virgo that summer I gave birth to my son Vincent. As Venus continued to retrograde I dealt with feeling extremely unbeautiful, insecure about my mothering abilities, and depressed. I was REALLY depressed about feeling that all the fun in my life was now over and life would be nothing but duty and work. Do you see the Venus in Virgo/Leo themes here?
2007: Then, in the summer of 2007 Venus turned retrograde and I was once again heartbroken. I’ll spare you the details but suffice it to say that this summer revealed plenty of secrets about why my marriage was unraveling. I was 33 years old and everything connected to my 5th house fell apart.
2015: Now, here we are at the tail-end of the summer of 2015. Going into this summer I knew it would be major. How could it not be when I have such a history of this Venus Retrograde phase being so life-changing? But I also knew that this summer would HURT. There would be pain before revelation. There would be heartbreak before healing.
And that’s exactly what happened.
Living in fear
The summer began with me being completely, utterly alone. You see, I have spent the last several years of my life disowning love. Blocking it. I’ve insisted that I’m single despite exclusively dating a wonderful man in an unconventional relationship since a year after my ex-husband left me.
So what’s the problem?
Me. I’m the problem. This man loved me. Loves me. He wanted a real relationship and despite trying t0o hard to push my feelings away, I fell in love with him as well. But I had so many fears, so many unresolved issues that I sabotaged this relationship. I have been afraid to love. Really, truly afraid to love. And also afraid to relate; to have a real “all in” type of relationship.
So over the years I behaved in ways that I am not entirely proud of in an attempt to protect myself. And I lost the man. He finally had enough of me not dealing with my own stuff. No one could blame him.
We were out of communication since mid-June and I started going to the beach every week by myself. I would journal and read and reflect on my “Venus issues.” I realized exactly how much I have been in the way of my own happiness in love. I realized that no relationship is perfect, no love is guaranteed, and no romance comes without risk. All of the things I have always known intellectually, I allowed to sink into my heart. I decided that it was time to let love in. I spent so many years afraid to gamble my heart yet in a twist of irony, once I lost someone who I loved and who REALLY loved me, I realized that I lost it all. Just by playing it safe I became the biggest loser this summer.
Just recently, I reconnected with this man. Things are changing … fast. And although I don’t know where those changes will lead for us, I can tell you one thing for sure: I’m tired of keeping that suit of armor around my heart. It costs too much! I’m ready for a change.
At last, Venus is turning direct on September 6, 2015. At 41 years old, in the summer of 2015 I have indeed experienced yet another game-changing Venus Retrograde cycle.
I have decided to finally let love in.