A Little Humor For Your Day – ‘Man Goes To Dentist (Pun)’

Man goes to a dentist

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?”
The man replies, “all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious…Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything — meat, toast, fish, vegtables, everything.”
“Well,” says the dentist, “that’s probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It’s eaten away your upper plate. I’ll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome.” “Why chrome?” asks the patient.
To which the dentist replies, “It’s simple. Everyone knows that there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!”

Aah! Jokes

Aleuromancy

Aleuromancy


An ancient divinatory practice which utilized flour. Sentences were written on pieces of paper, each of which was rolled up in a little ball of flour The balls of flour were thoroughly mixed up nine times and then divided amongst the curious, who anxiously waited to learn their fate. The custom lingered in remote areas into the nineteenth century.


Apollo, who supposedly presided over this divination form, was surnamed Aleuromantis.

Faery Sugar

Faery Sugar

3 cups fine white sugar

1 tablespoon Vanilla extract

1/8 teaspoon red food coloring

Glass container

Lay sugar on wax paper & sprinkle on Vanilla:

stir into the sugar till all mixed in.

Next sprinkle on the red food coloring and incorporate in till sugar turns ‘faery pink.’

Save in glass container, you have labed “Faery Sugar.”

Now use this special treat in the “Spell to see the Fae”

and also for Faery cookies, cakes and offerings to the Fae.

You can eat some yourself, but remember the recipe is a secret.

Author: Barbara Morris

Daily Feng Shui News for November 8th – ‘Cook Something Bold and Pungent’

Today’s energies ask us to ‘Cook Something Bold and Pungent.’ Here’s a recipe for one of my favorite vegetable meals, Asparagus with Mustard Sauce. You will need two tablespoons of ghee or butter, a half cup of whipping cream, two heads of garlic, peeled and diced, two tablespoons spicy brown mustard, one tablespoon fresh lemon juice, and salt and pepper to taste. You will also need two pounds of fresh asparagus spears, trimmed. In a small pan, melt the butter over a low heat and add the garlic and cook, stirring frequently, until the garlic is browned, approximately five minutes. In another bowl blend together the cream, mustard, lemon juice and condiments. Bring two quarts of water to a boil over medium heat and cook the asparagus until tender, about three minutes. Drain the asparagus, place on a serving plate, pour the sauce over it, and then top with the browned garlic. Bon appetite!

By Ellen Whitehurst for Astrology.com

Feng Shui Tip for Oct. 12 – ‘World Egg Day’

Since today is ‘World Egg Day’ I thought I would offer a magically delicious egg recipe. Eggs have long been associated with mysticism and they have been revered as a receptacle that holds the essence of life. In fact, eggs have been intimately linked to the spiritual and the divine. According to one ancient belief, eggs are actually considered the perfect symbol of all creation as they not only produce life itself, but the shell represents the element of earth. This belief goes on to say that the membrane of the egg represents air while the yolk symbolizes fire and white water. Possessing all of these elements allows the egg to contain the potential of manifestation. So if you want to become a manifesting machine, start your day with some scrambled eggs in order to activate your personal power. Melt three tablespoons of butter in a shallow heavy pan and set over low heat. Break two medium eggs into a bowl and beat very lightly with a fork. Pour into the pan with the melted butter and lightly stir with a wooden spoon. Continue cooking over low heat, stirring gently while visualizing an intense creative power infusing the eggs. After a few minutes, while the eggs are just setting and still a bit creamy, add two teaspoons of a light cream and salt and pepper to taste. Serve this magically manifesting dish immediately!

By Ellen Whitehurst for Astrology.com

To Overcome An Enemy

To Obtain An Enemy

Take a brown candle and write your enemy’s name three times on it. Place it in a bowl filled with brown sugar. Light the candle and affirm:  “Your hostility, I’ll overcome. In day of nine, your friendship is mine.” Do this before you go to bed. Allow the candle to burn itself out while you sleep. In the morning take what is left of the candle wax and the brown sugar and throw it in your enemy’s yard. Do this for nine consecutive days without fail.

No Bake Peanut Butter Cookies (I know this is unusual but…)

I have been aiming to share this recipe with you. These cookies, I absolutely crave. I mean it, right now, I am craving them. That is why I am posting the recipe to make me drool, lol! No, seriously, they are delicious and super fast to make. I hope you give the recipe a try. They are great cookies!

No Bake Peanut Butter Cookies

2 cups sugar

1 stick butter

1/2 cup milk

3 cups quick (instant, if you can find them) oats

3/4 cup peanut butter

In a medium sauce pan, mix the sugar, butter & milk. Heat to boiling. Let boil for 1 1/2 minutes. Remove from the heat. Mix in oats & peanut butter. Make sure the oats & peanut butter is thoroughly mixed in. When thoroughly mixed, put on waxed paper. The cookies will harden when cooled.

Takes about 10 minutes to make. And they are super YUMMY!

Violet Ointment

Violet Ointment

 
For this you will need two bars of cocoa butter, violet leaves and a bit of lanolin. Melt the cocoa butter in the top of a double boiler. Add as many violet leaves as you can mash down into the cocoa butter and cook till the leaves wilt. Add as many more leaves as you can mash into the cocoa butter and wilt again. Do not boil, but simmer over the hot water for about 15 minutes. Remove from heat and add two teaspoons of lanolin. Stir, then pour through a sieve into a glass jar. If the ointment is too hard, remelt in a water bath and stir in a bit more lanolin. This ointment is good for any minor scrapes and cuts you might get. It helps them heal faster and keeps them from getting infected.

Hot Cinnamon Pudding Cake

 

Hot Cinnamon Pudding Cake

1 c. sugar
2 T. butter
1 c. milk
2 c. flour
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt

Mix all together and pour into a greased 13 x 9″ baking pan. Add topping.

Topping:
2 c. brown sugar
2 T. butter
1 tsp cinnamon
1-1/4 c. water

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan. Bring to a boil. Pour over cake batter and bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes.

Serves 12. Good with ice cream or cool whip.

 

Cocoa Snowballs

Cocoa Snowballs
3 eggs
1 1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup powdered cocoa
3/4 cup milk
1/4 cup butter
1 tsp vanilla
pinch of salt
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 containers of white frosting
2 3/4 cups flaked coconut
 
Beat eggs well, gradually beat 1/2 cup sugar into the eggs and set aside. Combine remaining sugar, cocoa,
milk and butter in a pan and cook on low heat until sugar is dissolved and butter is melted. Remove from heat
and add vanilla and salt. Pour egg mixture into that.
 
In a bowl, put remaining dry ingredients and slowly add the cocoa mixture, beating all the while…. fill 30 ,
2 1/2″ muffin cups about 1/2 full and bake 20-25 mins at 325 degrees. Cool completely and frost bottom,
top and sides. Then roll them in the coconut. Let them stand at room temperature until the frosting is firm,
then serve or store in a container.
 
Submitted By Ahreinya Hazelle

Eggnog French Toast

Eggnog French Toast

2 c eggnog
1 egg, slightly beaten
1/2 tsp cinnamon
6 Croissants
3 tbsps butter

In a shallow bowl, mix the eggnog, egg and cinnamon, stirring well. Slice the croissants lengthwise. Melt one

tablespoon of butter in a skillet or on a griddle. Dip 1 croissant half in the batter and place in the griddle. Repeat
with the remaining halves. Cook on each side for 1 to 1 1/2 minutes, or until golden brown. Use remaining butter
as needed. Remove to a serving platter. Serve at once with warm maple syrup. Yield: 6 servings.
 
Submitted By Dana

Rum Balls

Rum Balls

 

(This recipe is an old Pillsbury recipe. Actually it’s not that old, I came across it when I was food editor at a newspaper.

It’s become a family favorite. My kids hated them when they were little, but as they grew older and acquired a taste

for “spirits” these kind of grew on them. My husband, whose drink of choice is Rum and Coke, still hates them).

 

2 cups crushed vanilla wafers

1 cup powdered sugar

½ cup finely chopped candied red or green cherries (I omit these)

½ cup finely chopped walnuts or pecans

¼ cup rum

3 tablespoons corn syrup

2 tablespoons butter, melted

¼ cup powdered sugar

 

Combine crushed vanilla wafers, 1 cup powdered sugar, cherries and pecans. Add rum, corn syrup and butter; blend

well.* Shape mixture into 1-inch balls; roll in ¼ cup powdered sugar. Cover tightly and let stand at least 24 hours to

allow flavors to blend. *I mix all the ingredients in a food processor.

 

Submitted By Phyll

Nessa’s Welsh Cookies

Nessa’s Welsh Cookies
(Wonderful for Santa’s Deputy Ritual)

4 c. flour
½ c. shortening
1 c. sugar
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. nutmeg
1 c. currants
½ c. milk
2 eggs

1) Mix flour and dry ingredients.2) Add currants. 3) Cut in shortening as for pie [I use a fork for this] 4) Add eggs and milk. 5) Roll out on floured surface. 5) cut circular shape out [I use a glass]. 6) Fry on griddle at low heat til a light brown appears on each side.
Makes about 5 dozen.

Rekindling the Fires: How We Gather and Celebrate for Yule

Rekindling the Fires: How We Gather and Celebrate for Yule

 

by Catherine Harper

I am a person much concerned with the rituals of hearth and home, and in general I am more likely to mark the turnings of the year in my kitchen or garden, or alone in the woods, than I am in larger gatherings. But even this preference aside, Yule seems to me a holiday that focuses around these intimate spaces. In the face of the darkest time of the year, who we share our table with is especially important. If sunlight brightens the whole community, away from the sun one can pick those who are each of our chosen families by candlelight. Winter, to me, breeds a love of small spaces.

Reaching for this sense of family and continuity is a challenge for the many of us who are first-generation pagans. I know that I want to be able to reach back to my own memories of being a child and find something there that I can bring forward to give to the children in my life. But this can be almost an archaeological challenge, finding amid so much past the right pieces, bringing them to the surface, cleaning them and restoring them to some kind of meaning.

I have a vague fondness still for stockings, but no context from which to hang them, and the woman who knitted the stockings I once loved is dead and gone. That memory I can love and yet watch recede into the distance.

I remember the candles on a tree in the yard of one of my dearest childhood friends that, starting with the youngest child, we would each light in turn on the eve of the winter solstice, singing carols into the night.

I love and remember the smell of a fresh fir tree brought inside, but equally I remember being seven and in tears faced with that same tree two weeks later that had died and dried and lost its needles. And mixed in with my childhood memories of yearning for lights and magic are my adult wishes for fewer malls, a different sort of family and a clear line of demarcation drawn between what I do and what is so nationally celebrated as Christmas.

Out of these conflicting needs has come our own synthesis. I don’t pretend that the answers that our dialog with the past has produced extend to anything beyond our own threshold. We don’t bring in a tree, though that ritual is as pagan as it comes. We do exchange presents and stay up all night and party and play and keep a light going through all the long hours of darkness. At midnight, everyone gathers in front of the fire and feeds it with tokens of things they are glad to have seen the last of, accompanied by explanations and applause. (A ritual that started more or less by accident but has grown and continued until it has developed such momentum I suspect I will never see the end of it.) We make candles. We eat soup, bread and little sandwiches, and trays of cakes, cookies and fruit tarts.

In the last several years, these gatherings have begun to set fruit. When they started, we were college students and young adults, mostly. Now, we are overrun by children, competing among each other to dip candles thicker than their own wrists, gorging on sweets, playing tournament mancala, helping grind flour, swimming laps in the hot tub and staying up far past their accustomed bedtimes.

My senses of past and present are becoming satisfied. Bit by bit, out of the flotsam from our childhoods, from the chance occurrences that recurred and became tradition, from literature, from history, from the stories we have imagined for ourselves, we are building something solid, something that returns and carries us along with it, something that we will pass on.

(To people who will doubtless prune it into a shape they find pleasing. There is no point in being too attached to any particular notions for the future….)

Meanwhile, for me Yule will smell like fir and beeswax and taste like cinnamon. In this land of evergreens, it is natural to bring in a little greenery when so much else has died away. In a time of darkness, of course we make a fuss over light and warmth. And when there is so little in season for the table but we need the extra nourishment to stave away the cold, our celebratory food is rich with saved eggs and butter, and spiced to overcome the monotony of the winter stores. And in 15 years, or 20, if the gods be kind, a nephew, or niece, or godson (or child?) will call me from another city where they have gone to work or to school and say “That cake, you remember? You used to make it on longest night? Do you still have the recipe?”

Gingerbread

This is simply the best gingerbread in the world. The recipe is not original with me, but it has changed more than a bit in my keeping and may in yours as well.

  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1/2 cup molasses
  • 1 teaspoon ginger
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon cloves
  • 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 3/4 very hot water
  • 1 1/4 cup flour
  • 1 egg
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Butter and flour your baking pan. (I use a 9-inch round pan, but a pair of loaf pans also works well.)

Cream together the butter and sugar. Add the molasses. (It is very efficient if you pour the hot water in the same measuring cup you just poured the molasses out of — it will dissolve the molasses residue and save you time.) Add spices. Alternately, add a bit of the hot water and a bit of the flour until both are thoroughly blended. Beat in the egg, and then quickly whisk in the baking powder and soda. Now quickly, before you lose any rise from your leavening, pour the batter into your pan and pop it in the oven. Cook for about half an hour, or until the middle is firm.

Moldable Shortbread

When I was young, I found a variant on this recipe and used it to make cookies in the shapes of fruit, stippling little balls of orange-colored dough to give them the texture of citrus peel, piercing them with a clove to make a blossom end, painting a blush on the surface of peaches and so forth, rather in the manner of marzipan. But the dough can be made into almost any form, as long as it is mostly flat. You can think of it as an edible, cookable play-dough. Don’t be timid with the food color — bright colors make it much more fun.

  • 1 part sugar
  • 2 parts butter
  • Flavoring to taste
  • 5 parts flour
  • Food coloring

Cream together the butter and sugar, add flavoring if desired and then blend in flour. (If your one part is equal to half a cup, you can use &fraq12; to 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, or a bit less almond extract, a bit more Grand Marnier, a teaspoon of citrus zest, a couple of tablespoons of minced candied ginger or whatever suits your fancy.)

Divide the dough into sections and add a different color of food coloring to each one, mixing it in first with a fork and then with your fingers. Form each color into a ball, wrap with plastic and refrigerate for at least an hour.

When it is chilled, form it into whatever shapes you — or your children — like. Bake at 325 for 20 to 30 minutes. If the dough becomes hot and sticky while it is being worked, just stick the cookies into the refrigerator to chill before you bake them. As long as they are cold when they hit the oven, the texture will be fine.

Baked Butternut Squash

Baked Butternut Squash

1 Medium Butternut or Acorn Squash
2 Tablespoons (1/4 stick/30 gramd) Butter or Margarine, at Room Temperature
1/2 Cup (120 milliliters) Freshly Squeezed Orange Juice (or juice from concentrate)
Dash of Ground Cinnamon

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit (175 degrees Celsius). Cut the squash in half, and scoop out the seeds, scraping clean. Place the squash in a shallow baking dish. Dot each half with butter or margarine. Drizzle the orange juice and sprinkle the cinnamon over the squash. Bake, uncovered, for 30 to 45 minutes, or until you can easily put a fork in the squash. Slice each half into 3 equal portions and serve warm.