Tag: Wicca

Group or Solitary: Which Is Best For You?

Group or Solitary: Which Is Best For You?

Author: Bronwen Forbes

One of the biggest and most important decisions you will make as a newcomer to the Pagan path is whether to join an existing group of like-minded practitioners or go it on your own as a solitary. Of course, there will be other big decisions to make later but they are all dependent upon what you choose to do now.

In the interest of full disclosure, I will confess that I am a big advocate of finding others who a) are further along the path than you and learning all you can from them and b) are folks your gut seems to trust (more on this in a future article, I promise) . Why? Let me give you an example.

At one time my group’s holiday rituals were open to any Pagans in the area who chose to attend (if they told us they were coming in advance) . Since our group was the only one and the first one in the area for some time, we attracted a lot of people who hadn’t ever been in ritual with other Pagans, even though they’d been solitaries for years.

A solitary came to one of our rituals, speaking to anyone who would listen about her “astral fiancé.” Apparently she’d met a man on the astral plane – but never in real life – and they planned to marry just as soon as she moved to Ireland and figured out which one of several million Irishmen he was. To further hinder her search, she didn’t know what his name was. At some point in the ritual they apparently got “married” (it was Beltane, after all!) because by the end of the evening she was referring to her “astral husband.” As an occasional writer of fiction, I wish I could make up stuff this good!

Does the idea of an anonymous “astral fiancé” sound a little farfetched? It sure did to us – especially when she quit her job, moved to Ireland, and (no surprise) never found him. Last we heard she was back in the States, flat broke, and living out of her car. If this woman had had some basic non-book training and/or regular contact with a group at the beginning of her Pagan studies, she’d have known better than to delude herself to the point of homelessness.

I’m not saying that every solitary Pagan is going to end up doing something profoundly stupid, spiritually-speaking, and end up living in a car, but just as you turn to a more experienced roadster when you’re learning how to drive that car, it makes just as much sense to find someone – preferably several someones – when you’re learning the Pagan basics. The book you study in order to pass the written driver’s test is good for learning the rules of the road, but you’re not going to get your license without a lot of supervised, hands-on experience. So it is with Paganism.

On the other hand, there are times and places and personalities that are better suited for solitary work. Perhaps you live too far away from the nearest group to make regular travel for rituals and classes impossible. Or maybe the local coven or grove sets off your “icky alarm” and you’d prefer to never be in their presence again, thank you very much. Or maybe your work life is too hectic and home life is too full of the needs of small children to be able to make a commitment to a group’s calendar.

Or maybe, just maybe, you are more suited to a spiritual life of quiet, private observance and contemplation and will, in fact, go farther on your Pagan path if you travel alone. I’ve met some fine people in my life for whom this is the case; I admire their personal dedication even though I can’t emulate it.

If it’s just my husband, my child and I in the house on a holiday or full moon, we’re not likely to have a formal ritual – much like my widowed mother-in-law who will cook up a storm if a few of her children or grandchildren are expected for dinner but “just can’t be bothered” to cook if she’s just feeding herself.

So how do you know if you’re more suited for a group or a solitary practice? Ask yourself the following questions. Your answers should tell you what decision you need to make to better your chances of a satisfying spiritual future.

Is there a group nearby that I like and trust? If the answers are “yes” (Yes there is a group, yes it is nearby, yes I like them, and yes I trust them) , and they have space for you, by all means petition to join. However, if there is even one “no” (There’s a group nearby but I don’t like them and wouldn’t trust them to teach me how to walk my dog, much less take an active role in my spiritual development) , you’re much better off on your own.

Do I have the personal discipline to actively practice on my own? I freely admit that I do not. I need to commit to a group and the group calendar to actively, integrally observe even the basic holidays and moon phases. And that’s okay – I’m not the only one!

However, if you can – or would even prefer to – make a personal commitment to make small observances to the Gods at this time every day (or week, or holiday) and know you’ll keep that commitment, then I say good for you! You have at least some of what it takes to be a solitary.

Am I willing to ask for help or a reality check from time to time? I don’t think it ever occurred to our above-mentioned Beltane guest to ask anyone online or in person if she was deluding herself or if her astral experiences were real. When my husband was first starting to study Paganism, he made a point of seeking out community elders and experienced practitioners at local Pagan festivals and asking them questions. Even though these good folk weren’t his formal teachers, they were more than happy to answer him.

If you join a group, your High Priest or High Priestess will provide help and reality checks – that’s their job. If you choose to go solitary, you should consider attending a nearby gathering, Pagan Pride Day, or workshop at a Pagan store once in a while just to touch base with the rest of the community. I’d hate for you to drop everything and move to Ireland if it’s all in your head.

Ultimately, only you can choose whether to join a group or strike out on your own at the beginning of your Pagan life. Only you know your geographical, work, family, and personal circumstances that will all factor into the decision.

Whichever way you choose, I wish you all the best. In some ways, we are all alone – the Path is different for each person who walks it; in other ways we are all part of this wonderful, awe-inspiring, sprawling Pagan community.

Spell – A- Day – Wisdom of our Ancestors

Spell – A- Day – Wisdom of our Ancestors

 
You can find guidance to deal with difficult situations by
accessing the wisdom of our ancestors. To do so, write out your perception of the situation on a piece of paper.
Light white, black, and red candles, and cut an apple crosswise to reveal the five-pointed star created by the seeds.
State these or similar words:
 
I send my voice across the veil
To my ancestors who know me well.
Guidance needed,
Wisdom bequest;
Answers given to aid my quest.
Quiet your mind, and receive guidance. It may arrive immediately or over several days. Thank your ancestors,
and offer the apple to them.
 
By: Karen Follett

Sorry The Holiday Is Over & It’s Back To Work Day! Happy Monday to you, dear friends!

Days Of The Week Comments  Today Is: Moon Day– Energy: Female Ruler: The Moon – Rules emotions, protection, healing, and women’s mysteries – Use for magick involving the subconscious, healing, emotions, love, spirituality, healing wounds, children, small animals, women’s mysteries, the female side of men, mothers, sisters, female partners, wives, instincts

  • Today’s Magickal Influences: Agriculture, Domestic, Long Life, Medicine, Travels, Visions, Theft
  • Today’s Goddesses: Luna, Selene, Diana, Re, Gaelach, Ida, Artemis [Whom The Greeks Associated With Bast], The Witches, Yemaya, Erzulie, Bast
  • Incense: Myrtle
  • Perfumes: White Poppy, White Rose, Wallflower
  • Color of The Day: Silver, Grey, White
  • Colors for Tomorrow: Red
  • Lucky Sign: Monday Is The Lucky Day For The Sign of Cancer
  • Candle: White

Magickal Graphics

Meditation on the Pentacle and Earth

Meditation on the Pentacle and Earth

Into a dark world comes the dawn, the start of a new day coming from the East. The powers of Earth spring from the same source. Buds burst forth into new growth. Animals come out to look at the world as it blooms again and fill their bellies once more, the starvation and hunger of winter at an end. The Earth is our foundation and our stability as we learn to frolic and play.

The powers of Earth are vast and abundant. When she is angry, the ground shakes and trembles, warning us to change our actions and helping to shake us free from standing around and watching life pass us by. The gifts she gives are boundless.

If this element were to be placed on the face of a clock, following the path of the sun, it would be in the east, at dawn, when time is new and the earth is just beginning to burst forth with new life. It is a light, creative time that holds the promise of the day to come.

Similarly, the moon rises in the west, and if a witch wished to follow the lunar cycle, the element would be placed there. The new, waxing moon is a time of promise of things to come. It is a time of bringing things into being and manifesting growth into the world. This is the time of the Maiden, of the Huntress, those who hold the reins of creativity and inspiration.

The earth, for a witch, is symbolized by the pentacle. It may be as elaborate or as simple as is meaningful. Simple rocks have been used along with things as complex as sun catchers, crystal plates, and hand thrown pottery. It is the foundation to all a witch’s works and all her spells and magick. It helps to keep them stable and able to work their magick and let go of themselves into ecstatic states, knowing they will find their way back.

If a stone is to be used, the best kinds are ones that are found out on one of the walks or trips that the witch takes. Tumbled or polished ones will work, but they are somewhat distracting from the natural ties that the pentacle has to the earth at times. If you want a shiny one, purchase a small rock tumbler (Most are less than $20.00) and tumble the rocks that you find outside on your own. Granite also works well, if there is a source nearby, since it has both a rough surface and a glossy one.

Marble is another choice, if available, that is a good option if a fancier pentacle is desired. Since the pentacle represents the north and is the stability that a witch ties her spells to as she casts them, it is the anchor point for a circle. Make certain that your pentacle is sturdy enough to take the strain of these things before you acquire and consecrate it.

Copyright © 2000, Jet Blackthorn

Dark Moon Affirmation Magick (Snow Moon)

Dark Moon Affirmation Magick

(Snow Moon)
 
 
The dark Moon can be a time of fear and doubt. This spell will help you to affirm your magick and move forward in your patterns.
 
You will need a white candle. Draw a circle of light and call in the elements. Light the white candle, and invite the Goddess into your circle:
 
Divine Mother so bright
Please bless my circle with your light.
 
Stand before your altar, and call out three times:
 
Today and everyday I am on a quest to make my life more the way I want it to be. My magick is strong. I will prevail in my quest.
So be it!
 
Thank the Goddess for her blessings, bid farewell to the elements and pull up the circle. For best results write the affirmation on an index card, and put it on your bathroom mirror. Read it aloud to yourself at least three times each day and three times each night.

Witches’ Pyramid

Witches’ Pyramid

Many of you have already heard of the Witches’ Pyramid, the foundation of our magickal acts:

To Know, To Will, To Dare, and To Be Silent. This pyramid is the underlying structure of any spell formula.

To Know

Before you can cast a spell, you need to know who you are. Ego aside, you
have to come to terms with who you are, how you operate, and why you do the
things you do.

The second thing you must know is precisely what you want. This is not as
easy as it seems. People rarely sit back and consider what they really want
out of life. Part of this is because they are afraid. They fear they may not
get what they want, and they fear that they will fail. These fears stop us
from knowing.

For example, time and time again people I know have spelled for love. They
have not done the ultimate no-no by targeting a specific person, but they do
something just as bad–they don’t really know what they ultimately want.
When they get what they spelled for, often they are disappointed, because
there is something attached to that new lover they didn’t think of.
Therefore, all spells must be specific.

One of the best ways to begin a working is to write out, in detail, exactly
what you want in one straight line on a piece of paper. Underneath,
phonetically begin to pare each word down. Underneath that line, pare the
words down again. Continue this procedure until only one letter from each
word is left. Interlock the few remaining letters into a sigil. Use this
sigil in whatever magickal application you have chosen to ensure your spell
remains specific.

To Will

Another stumbling block in spell casting is lack of will, whether it is will
power, belief, or conviction. Will depends on how badly you want to make a
change. Do you believe you are capable of making the change, or do you think
it is only wishful thinking? Are you willing to re-program your mind, your
environment, your relationships, in order to bring about ther change you
desire? Without will, a spell will fizzle. Is your mind fogged with doubt,
or unnecessary problems that will prevent bringing about the change you say
you want?

One of the best techniques for increasing your will power is the use of
meditation on a daily basis. Once you have learned to relax, use the alpha
state to program the events you wish to come to pass. You should work on
both short-term and long-term goals.

Another technique that is useful in spell casting is to write down why you
wish to manifest something. Let this explanation sit on your altar
overnight, then re-read it. Does it make sense? Is this what you really
want? Does your reasoning still appear firm, or is it full of holes?

Are you patient? Patience has a lot to do with will. Once you have a firm
grip on “will,” you are a third of the way through on accurate spell casting.

To Dare

To dare means you are not inclined to sit around on your laurels. It means
that you are not choosing to procrastinate, rather you are choosing to move
with purpose. To dare indicates that you are no longer afraid of the
outcome, or fear failure. You are confident that you control your own
destiny to the point where you won’t even argue about it, either with someone
else, or yourself.

Although “to dare” doesn’t appear to create a lot of work, it does require
you to make an active decision. This is the next catalyst for your magickal
operation. From here, you will plan the appropriate day, hour, moon phase,
astrological energies, and tools required for working magic,including what
divinity you will choose. To dare can lead to a great deal of work and
preparation.

To Be Silent

Even if you are an adept, you should learn to be quiet about your magickal
operations. There is only one exception, which is when you are working with
a group. If the group mind is actively participating on a project they
should be informed of their success or failure.

In the beginning, you should be silent so that you are not affected by
others’ opinions. Don’t tell them what you are performing magic for, as you
risk failure. Why? Because they can unconsciously affect you with their
disbelief or negativity.

Likewise, once you become proficient at spell casting, don’t announce
it–especially to a novice. No real adept will ever tell a novice that “My
spells always work.” Not only is it rude, it is also untrue. Everyone
fails. Imagine what a novice would think if they knew you lost your job,your
kids are running rampant, and you are deeply in debt. If your spells always
worked, you would not be in such a fix, would you? Foolish words can ruin
your reputation, which in turn, will ruin your own self-confidence.
Therefore, keep your trap shut–this ensures success in your magickal
operations as well as keeping your reputation intact. No one likes a
braggart, and no one considers an egotistical Witch a good leader or cleric.

The Witches Credo

The Witches Credo

Hear now the word of the Witch,the secrets once hid in the night,When darkness was for protection,We now bring forth in the light.Mysteries of the Water and Fire,The Earth and the wide-ranging Air,By hidden Quintessence we know them,and we bring honor in silence and fair.The birth and rebirth of all Nature,the passing of Winter and Spring,We share with the life Universal,rejoicing in the never-ending RingFour times in the year we give homage,come forth the Witches are seen,At Lammas and Candelas we’re dancing,so too on May Eve and old HalloweenWhen daytime and nighttime are equal,when sun is at it’s greatest and least,The four lesser Sabbats are summoned,again the Witches gather in feast.Thirteen silver moons in a year,thirteen to be the magikal array,Thirteen times at Esbat we make merry,for the work of the night and the day.

The knowledge has passed down the ages,each time between woman and manEach century unto the other,old times since the ages began.When drawn in the Magikal circle,by sword or athame of light,It’s compass between two worlds opens,in honor and love for this night.Our world has no right to know it,and the world beyond will tell naught,The oldest of Gods are invoked there,the great work of light’s Magik is wrought.For two are the mystical pillars,that stand at the gate of the shrine,And two are the powers of Nature,the forms and the forces divine.Do what thou wilt be the challenge,so be it in love that harms none,For this is the only commandment,By wisdom of faith so let it be done.

The Witches Guidelines of Life

The Witches Guidelines of Life

 
The Witches credo acknowledges the right of all people to practice their own path of spirituality. As long as that path does not bring harm or injury to any living being. The term rede is derived from the Old English term roedan “to guide or direct”. But don’t confused the witches credo with the Wiccan Rede & Credo. The Witches Credo provides the same guidelines, but it’s purpose is broader for many varying traditions of magik, including the solitary practioner.
Historians debate the origins of the Wiccan Rede, which is simply:
“Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill, An’ it harm none, do what ye will”
An’ is old English for And.
In general it is believed the Rede originated during the mid-to-late 18th century. The Credo, which is very similar to the witches credo, holds it’s origins in modern times of the 1910’s during the mystical revivals of the Gilded Age and into the 1940’s and 50’s. The reasoning behind the credos, according to spiritual scholars, was to add acceptance of modern witchcraft for the general public.
However, a broader study of both the Wiccan Credo and the Witches Credo may lead a researcher back to ancient myths, legends and pagan traditions of the 7th and 8th centuries. Even in it’s varying forms, the practice of witchcraft and it’s underlying spiritual beliefs have been utilized all over the world for thousands of years. All of which can be seen and often documented through the study and research of mythology. Within each mythical legend of Celtic, Greek or even Asian origin, resides a structure of do’s and don’ts for the magikal practioners of the day. Within each of these structures, are the references to free will, karma and choice; the laws of magikal practices so to speak. The modern Credo’s adhered to today, regardless of their original dates of creation, reside in the frame work of these ancient structures.
Many spiritualists today have a deep respect for the sanctity of free will within all living creatures. This is especially true for the modern neo-pagan. To use one’s spiritual talents and gifts to interfere in that free will is unethical and violates the essence of living in balance and harmony with the universe. To violate that balance would bring a karmic boomerang of negative energies and events back to the sender.
The Witches Credo is therefore a guideline of direction, not only for one’s spiritual practices in magik, but in all aspects of life. The credo is first instilled into a pagan’s life during their ‘Coming Of Age’ ceremony. Many traditions believe in making a rededication of faith with the Credo during the Witches new year celebration of Samhain as a means of reconfirming their spiritual belief and practices.

Becoming a Witch

Becoming a Witch


These steps will take at least two years if you do them correctly.

STEP ONE – discovering your path
Read and study. Read everything you can get your hands on. You need to read anything that will tell you more about the beliefs of witchcraft, magazines, books and web pages. While studying there are other forms of the craft that help. (nature) For example you could go hiking or go camping. Sunbathe, moonbathe, watch animals etc. This step should take you at least 2 months.

STEP TWO – defining your path
In a notebook, folder or journal start writing down some reasons why the craft is for you. What does being a witch mean to you? What do you hope to achieve? How do you visualize the God and Goddess? What does the Divine mean to you? Be honest. This notebook will become your book of shadows.

STEP THREE – Exploring magic
Magic is simply raising and channeling energy that is found in yourself, nature and the divine. Before you begin working with magic you need to understand what it is. You also need to know the basic structure of a ritual, casting circles, calling quarters, invoking the God/dess, raising and directing energy, grounding and centering and closing the circle. Know the moon phases. Learn to feel how the moon effects your body. Keep records of all you have learned in your book of shadows. This step will probably take you about another couple of months.

STEP FOUR – learning to focus
Now you should start working on meditation and visualization exercises to increase your concentration. Learn to be calm. You can start out by meditating at least 3 times a week for about five minutes. You should do this for at least a month. Remember to keep a record in your book of shadows.

STEP FIVE – working with magic
Now you can begin some basic spell work. Start with a full moon ritual or a new moon ritual. Every witch should write her own spells.

STEP SIX – self dedication
After you have been studying for at least five or six months on meditating and working with magic it is time to perform a self dedication ritual. Design it however you want. A self dedication ritual means you are dedicating yourself to the craft.

STEP SEVEN – the year between dedication and initiation
You can initiate yourself when you feel you are ready. The year you spend between your self dedication and your initiation you should spend celebrating the Sabbats, meditation, practicing your spellwork and studying. Use this time to learn about different forms of divination, such as Tarot or Runes, and different forms of healing, such as herbalism. Make sure you are recording in your book of shadows.

STEP EIGHT – Networking
You should spend a solitary year study after self dedication before a witch considers joining a coven or a circle. This gives you a full year to celebrate the cycle of Sabbats.

STEP NINE – Initiation
An initiation should be something that’s meaningful to you. The ritual should be written only by you. A coven initiation is a means of bonding a group together. Initiation into the craft should always be a solitary ritual.

You still have to learn and practice. If you truly want to be a witch be prepared to spend the rest of your life studying and learning about this religion.

Differences in Ethics and Magick

Differences in Ethics and Magick


When looking into Traditional Witchcraft, the differences in the views of ethics and magick are an aspect that a lot of Wiccans have a great amount of disagreement with. In Traditional Witchcraft there is a stress on the responsibility of the Witch, just as there is in Wicca, but that responsibility is looked at more in the way of a responsibility to protect yourself and those close to you in any way you can, even if that means using adverse magick in a way that Wiccan never would. For some of today’s modern day Traditional Witches, the way Wiccans will “turn the other cheek” or not get involved in a magickal sense in some situations, is seen as being somewhat of a weakness.

Ethics

Ethics


There are a lot of different components that can be looked at in a compare and contrast way between Traditional Witchcraft and Wicca. But before looking at those, let’s first take a brief glance at what ethics are to the Traditional Witch. Traditional Witches have no code or laws of ethics to live by. The most important factor in using magick is the idea that you will be responsible for your actions. Because in Traditional Witchcraft there is no Wiccan Rede or other moral code, the use of “black magick”, hexes, curses, and the like, are not ruled out on principle. In fact, to the Traditional Witch, it is looked at as honorable to do whatever is necessary to protect oneself and ones family in a time when they are facing potential danger on any level. With responsibility being the main focus, the idea in Traditional Witchcraft that there is no good or evil, only your intent, this gives even more of a weight on the shoulders of a Witch considering adverse magick.

Basic Philosophy Of Witchcraft

Basic Philosophy Of Witchcraft

Wicca, or Witchcraft, is an earth religion — a re-linking (re-ligio) with the life-force of nature, both on this planet and in the stars and space beyond. In city apartments, in suburban backyards, in country glades, groups of women and men meet on the new and full moons and at festival times to raise energy and put themselves in tune with these natural forces. They honor the old Goddesses and Gods, including the Triple Goddess of the waxing, full, and waning moon, and the Horned God of the sun and animal life, as visualizations of immanent nature.

Our religion is not a series of precepts or beliefs, rather we believe that we each have within ourselves the capacity to reach out and experience the mystery — that feeling of ineffable oneness with all Life. Those who wish to experience this transcendence must work, and create, and participate in their individual religious lives. For this reason, our congregations, called covens, are small groups which give room for each individual to contribute to the efforts of the group by self-knowledge and creative experimentation within the agreed-upon group structure or tradition.

There are many traditions or sects within the Craft. Different groups take their inspiration from the pre-Christian religions of certain ethnic groups (e.g. Celtic, Greek, Norse, Finno-Ugric); in the liturgical works of some modern Witch poet or scholar (e.g. Gerald Gardner, Z Budapest, Alex Sanders, Starhawk); or by seeking within themselves for inspiration and direction. Many feminists have turned to Wicca and the role of priestess for healing and strength after the patriarchal oppression and lack of voice for women in the major world religions.

There are many paths to spiritual growth. Wicca is a participatory revelation, a celebratory action leading to greater understanding of oneself and the universe. We believe there is much to learn by studying our past, through myth, through ritual drama, through poetry and music, through love and through living in harmony with the Earth.

I am a Witch

The origin of this in unknown, since it has been passed as a e-mail forward for so long. Please enjoy and post this message to not take the credit away from the anonymous writer. Thank you, KaiaPythia


I am a witch. I do not worship Satan.

I am not interested in Satan.

Satan was invented by the Christians.

Satanism is a form of Christianity.

I am not a Christian.

I don’t go to church on Sunday.

Jesus is NOT my savior.

He was simply a holy man who lived 2,000 years ago.

I am not afraid of going to Hell because I don’t believe in Hell any more than I believe in Satan.

I believe in reincarnation; that I will come back to this world or another and live out another life.

I am not evil.

Telling people I am a “good witch” or asking me if I am a good witch implies that there are evil witches.

There are evil people in the world, and there are people who chose to work with the forces of nature in a way that harms others; those people are NOT witches.

The central law of being a witch is: “if it harms none, do as you will.”

Please don’t ask me about sacrificing cats or desecrating churches. I love my cats, and I don’t go into churches or synagogues unless a friend from that religion invites me to some special occasion.

And if I DO enter a church, I am not struck by lightning.

And if a Christian or a Jew or a Buddhist came to a pagan ritual, our gods would not strike them dead either.

Isn’t that something to think about?

Wearing a pentacle is no different than wearing a cross, crucifix, or Star of David.

If you want me to take off the symbol of MY religion (and Wicca is a religion, protected by the same First Amendment rights as other religions) because it’s offensive, you need to make everyone of every religion do that.

The five points of the star signify the four elements of Earth, Air, Fire & Water, and the fifth point is Spirit; encircled by the World.

How that can offend anyone boggles my little pagan mind. An image of a tortured, dying man is more offensive, yet thousands of people openly wear crucifixes every day.

Also, don’t ask me if I’m in a “coven” in that half-horrified, half-fascinated tone of voice.

If I want to talk about my coven, I will bring it up.

If I am a solitary practitioner, I have no coven to discuss.

In any case, our rituals have candles, food, drink, poetry, dancing…yes, there is a knife but it only cuts the air, not anyone’s flesh.

I don’t drink blood.

I am not some kind of vampire.

I wear black because it keeps negativity away and because it looks better on me than orange and purple polka dots.

If you want to ask me something related to MY religion, ask me when the next full moon is.

Or the next Blue Moon.

Or what a blue moon IS.

Ask me about herbs.

Crystals.

Healing.

Even ask me to make you a love potion.

But I don’t cast spells on other people and I won’t cast a spell on you to make you prettier, thinner, more desirable.

And I won’t cast a spell on your quarry to make him/her love you. Trust me, you don’t want that, you don’t want the karma that involves, and neither do I!

That’s a form of manipulation, taking away someone’s power, infringing on their free will.

Not nice at all.

And I also won’t cast a binding spell to make someone STOP doing something to you.

Spell work is about co-creation. A witch works with universal energy, with the gods, to tilt the engine of probability somewhat.

Need money?

Don’t try to ensorcel your boss to give you a raise. Simply ask the universe to increase the flow of abundance in your direction.

That infringes on NO ONE’S free will.

One last thing: giving me a book about the Burning Times is like giving a book on the Holocaust to a Jewish person.

It’s not funny and is rude.

Yes, I do go to Salem, but not because any of those Poor executed people were witches (I think the jury is still out on some of them), but because there’s cool pagan shops there.

If there were cool pagan shops in a town called East Cowflop, I’d go there.

Please don’t try to make me ashamed of who I worship and what I am.

Please don’t try to convert or “save” me.

Don’t throw holy water on me.

Don’t leave little pamphlets on my desk or windshield. I don’t need to be saved.

Witches are proud of that fact that we don’t recruit people to become witches.

We simply ARE, and those around us see how we think, how we act, and our inner peace, and only when someone says “how do I become a witch?” do we take them into the fold with us.

I will NEVER leave a religious tract with anyone.

I don’t have one, unless you count this letter.

And I am not asking you to convert.

I am only asking you to understand.

If you don’t want to understand, just leave me alone.

Thirteen Clues You Might Be A Witch

Witchy Comments=
Thirteen Clues You Might Be A Witch

 
 
Witches come in all shapes, sizes, colors and genders. Identification via wardrobe is unreliable: anyone can dress up. However, there are some true, telltale clues. If any one or more of these statements applies to you, then you might be a witch—or, a least, have the option of heading down that road, should you so choose.
 
1. You’re fascinated by the magical arts, the occult science, and/or the hidden powers of Earth.
 
2. You perceive Earth as sacred, filled with mystery, worthy of awe.
 
3. You feel an affinity with wild weather, wild creatures, and Earth’s wild places.
 
4. You perceive power, positive strength and magic, maybe even the divine, in women.
 
5. You can maintain a relationship with an individual of another species, such as a bird or an animal. (Whether you define your opposing gender as another species is up to you.)
 
6. By nature, you’re nocturnal.
 
7. Darkness doesn’t scare you–not consistently anyway.
 
8. You have an independent nature; you like to make your own rules and you value your privacy and autonomy.
 
9. You possess curiosity and a thirst for knowledge.
 
10. Ancient stories (myths, legends, fairy tales) enthrall you.
 
11. You think the Universe might hold undiscovered mysteries. Not everything can be explained by science; not everything can be controlled by people.
 
12. The mysteries of birth and death fascinate you.
 
13. You consider yourself a witch, or sometimes suspect that you are one, or think you might like to be one.

  ~Magickal Graphics~

Happy & Blessed Sunday to you, dear friends!

Days Of The Week Comments 

Sunday Is Ruled By The Sun The Sun naturally rules the first day of the week. Any type of God or solar-related magick is especially potent this day. Spells for logic, thought and leadership will have strong results. Other correspondences for Sunday are: 

Ruling Planet: Sun 

Rituals: money, health, friendship related. 

Colour: Yellow 

Element: Fire. 

Number: 6  

Magickal Graphics

Today’s Goddess:Yellow Woman

Today’s Goddess:Yellow Woman

Tesuque Feast (Southeastern US)
 
Themes: Nature, Providence, Animals
Symbols: Yellow Items, Green Items, Embroidered Items
 
About Yellow Woman: This Pueblo Goddess if magic, agriculture and the hunt is also the heroine of many local
stories having taught humans important sacred ceremonies. Today she helps us remember these rituals and reintegrate
them into our live.
 
Art depicts Yellow Woman wearing an embroidered blanket dress, a green mask (revealing her connection to nature)
and a white mantle. Sometimes she appears as a corn Goddess and other times as a witch, bear or ogress.
 
To Do Today: This is the time of the Buffalo Dance, which honors nature and mimes, an ancient hunting ritual thought
to ensure a successful hunt. This dance is a type of sympathetic magic that also appeases the souls of the animals
about to be captured. For our purposes, this equates to a kind of ritual mime in which we enact our hopes as realized,
asking Yellow Woman to guide our movements so they will manifest in magic. For example, to improve self love give
yourself a hug so you receive that energy. For relationships, open your arms wide so they await the right person
(figuratively receiving a “good catch”, which is in Yellow Woman’s dominion too!)
 
To improve your awareness of the significance of ritual, eat corn today and wear yellow, white and/or green clothing.
Embroidered items also please this Goddess.
..
By Patricia Telesco

Making Your Life Magical

Making Your Life Magical
image
Author: WitchGeek

Most Wiccans and witches – and many other pagans – practice some form of “magic” (often spelled “magick” to distinguish it from stage illusions) . Magick is a topic at which most modern westerners would likely scoff, and doubtless this attitude throws into question the credibility of those who claim to practice it.

We do not believe in the “supernatural”. All that exists that is part of this universe, is part of nature itself and is therefore “natural”. If intrusions from other universes or realities happen in this one, then that too is part of its natural processes. In other words, everything – everything – can be rationally and scientifically explained; we just don’t know all of those explanations yet.

We accept that there are many things about this universe that we not only cannot explain in concrete terms, but things of which we’re not even aware. Bear in mind that there was a time that germs, bacteria, and viruses were all completely unknown to humanity; a microscopic world of living creatures has surrounded us for as long as we’ve been on this planet and we only recently learned of it.

Scientists have never actually seen an atom, and many modern physicists feel confident that evidence indicates such incredible things as multiple universes. We’ve learned so much, but that which we still do not know boggles the mind while thrilling the imagination.

As I have said many times, being a witch or a pagan is more about what we do than what we believe. Whether it’s a magickal activity or a religious ritual, we engage in time-honored rites that – for whatever reason – just seem to work for us. It’s a bit like exercise; one need not understand advanced kinetics and physiology in order to benefit from a brisk, daily walk. Nor does one need to understand ritual and magick in order to reap its benefits; those who do it regularly will experience mental and spiritual gains.

But this post isn’t about magick; it’s about life.

I have an Egyptian-themed altar/shrine at home, and among the items on it is a statue of Thoth. In Egyptian mythology, Thoth was – among other things – a god of writing, magick, and science. I’m not sure what initially drew me to him, but my attachment is long-standing and strong enough that I made an altar for him and the goddess Bast.

By day, I’m a computer programmer. I write, using computer languages, things like this:

begin
select responder, recipient_role
into v_emp_user_name, v_recipient_role
from temp_notifications
where message_type = itemtype
and user_key = v_requisition_no
and notification_id = history_record.notification_id;
exception
when no_data_found then
v_emp_user_name := null;
v_recipient_role := null;
result := ‘COMPLETE:N’;
end;

…and when these words are “executed”, they result in the taking place of literal, real-world actions.

Remember Arthur C. Clarke’s famous statement, “any sufficiently-advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”? It is easy to see the parallels between what I do by day and the concepts of magick. I use special languages full of words that have power, and yet I must order these words properly for them to have the desired effect. Sometimes they definitely backfire! But most of the time, I get the desired results.

Over time, I began to think of Thoth as having a modern role in addition to those normally attributed to him: the “patron saint” of computer programmers! But then, more recently, I made another connection. If what we pagans call “magick” isn’t supernatural, and if what computer programmers do is so similar to the methods of magickal practices… what, then, separates the two? Is it merely the fact that we humans have a scientific understanding of computer processing?

If modern magickal workings were to be defined scientifically tomorrow, would we put a new name on those activities and cease to call them “magick”?

I’m fond of blurring lines. A line that we’re forced to cross is no different from a line that holds us back; true freedom happens when there are no lines. And true magick happens all around us, every day.

Aleister Crowley defined magick as “the art and science of causing change in conformity with will”. We all do this, every day. For instance, when I sat down to write this post, it was something that I chose – to share my thoughts – and because my will to do this was strong enough, I made the time and put forth the effort. It is art (writing) and science (grammar, spelling, word processors and the Internet) , it is change (because this document didn’t exist before I wrote it) and it was my will.

Am I trying to diminish the practice of magick? Of course not. Instead, I am suggesting that we bring magick into our everyday lives… where it belongs. Learning to see the “magick” in the things that we choose to do means seeing those things in a whole new light… because when we realize that those elements that make up an act of magick exist in so many of our daily actions, we begin to see ways that even the mundane can be made special.

In many eastern philosophies, adherents are taught the value of living in each and every moment:

“As you practice Zen in your life, you will see that living in the present moment is like living heaven on earth. Even though we can all deal with this one moment right in front of us, we rarely live in this one moment right in front of us. We don’t know how. We have been conditioned since our early childhoods to live in the future or the past.” -Everything.com, Zen: Living in the Moment

Seeing ordinary actions as magickal is one way of helping us to live more consciously and building in us the habit of “living in the moment”. Yet it works in the other direction, as well… for as people who have studied the ways of “magick”, we are already trained in the skills necessary to embrace a magickal life.

This is convergence; when the ordinary and the magical become one in a person’s life, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. The ordinary takes on new vibrancy, and those energies, which are normally reserved for our rituals suddenly, work their way into our everyday lives.


Footnotes:
http://www.everything.com/zen-philosophy-living-in-moment/

Herb Use in Urban Witchcraft

Herb Use in Urban Witchcraft

Author: Elevander

Herbs play an integral role in Witchcraft and Wicca, whether it is in incense, natural healing, spellcraft or in ritual food, and they can literally be found all around us. But what about in the city? Practitioners living in the city may be forgiven for feeling out of touch with the harvesting and use of herbs, particularly if they do not have a garden or green space of their own. This is understandable, but as I myself have discovered; where there is a will there is a way! So I have developed my own methods of gathering and using herbs, some are traditional and some are adapted to suit modern life. Hopefully, this article will help others wherever they live to bring the power of herbs into their home.

First of all, there are some basic ground rules to follow when harvesting herbs:

1. Never take more than you need
2. Take care not to damage or disturb other plants and wildlife in the area
3. Do not take more than one third of an individual plant’s growth, or anything from very young plants that may not recover.
4. Be safe. If it is a secluded or out of the way place you are going to, then be sure to let someone know where you are going.
5. Always use areas that are public, or that you have permission to be in. Do not trespass on private property.

The first thing to consider is where you can find herbs. The truth is that you can find them everywhere. Many of the roadside trees have their uses (for example, the Hawthorn, crat gus oxyacantha, is a sacred tree closely associated with the Goddess, and is used in rituals as well as for protection and fertility magick) . Garden ‘weeds’ are often incredibly useful (Dandelion, taraxacum officinale, can be used for psychic and divinatory purposes. Dock, rumen obtusifolius, for protection, or Avens, geum urbanum, has a wide range of protective uses and can repel or guard against negativity) .

A wide variety of herbs can be found in natural areas of city parks, on commons, waste-ground, and of course areas of countryside. Once you have an idea of where to look, you need to have an idea of what to look for. In terms of magickal and remedial use, there are a good many books that have been written on the subject, a few of which I have included in the bibliography. These will give you an idea of what herbs can be used, what parts of the plant are needed and what they can be used for.

In practical terms it is important to be able to correctly identify the trees, plants and herbs you are looking for. I suggest first having a look through one or several of the listed books to get an idea of what you can, or think you may like to use. Once you have a rough idea in your head, purchase a good, detailed identification guide on native plants and trees. Some plants look very similar to others, and while we all may recognize a dandelion or a buttercup, eyebright or skullcap may feel more obscure. Armed with your guide and a notebook, go to your chosen area (s) and look closely at what is there. What seems like a patch of grass with a few weeds may actually turn out to be a valuable resource. Make a note of all the plants and trees that you find, perhaps making a note of where to find it if the name rings a bell from your earlier research.

If the area is large, or there are several, then it may take a few visits to get a good idea of what you can find there. Also, remember that the natural world is constantly changing, and so there may be different plants at different times of year, and whether you can harvest seeds, fruit or leaves will also be dependant on the season, so renew your research regularly. When you have done this you will be able to review your list of what you need against what is available to you. Then you are ready to harvest.

Being properly prepared before you set off will ultimately save you time in the long run. You will need some sort of container to carry the harvested herbs in. Ideally it should be made of a natural material, but don’t worry if you have to resort to a carrier bag. You will also need your notebook, identification guide, working knife or boline, and offerings to leave in payment of what you have taken (Common offerings are gemstones, a few grains of salt, a pinch of tobacco, or a hair from your head) . A key part of harvesting herbs is in the method by which you do so. The herb has within it the innate abilities for which we use it, but these can be strengthened and amplified by our own intent as we work with them, and the plant should always be harvested in a way that is respectful to the plant and the earth for the sacrifice it has given us. A generalized harvesting method is described here:

• Locate the desired plant or tree.
• Cup your hands around the herb and take a moment to clear your mind, and connect with the energy field of the plant.
• Say these or similar words aloud or in your head; it is intent not volume that matters: “Hail tree/plant/flower of [name of herb] I ask that I may harvest some of your growth/flowers/fruit/seeds in the service of the Lady and Lord, and for the benefit of others”.
• If the plant’s energy feels willing, then harvest what you need using a sharp knife, and preferably using a single stroke. If the plant does not feel willing then do not take anything from it, either try again another day or move on to a different plant.
• Place your offering within the plant/tree or buried at the foot of it in the earth and say these or similar words: “I thank you and recognize your sacrifice, and leave this offering in payment for what has been taken and in honor of the earth”.
• The harvesting ritual is done.

The easiest and one of the most practical ways of storing your herbs is by drying them. Tie each herb individually in a bundle, or spread out on sheets of greaseproof paper, making sure you label them with the name, date, and location they were harvested from. Then either hang or place them in a warm (but dry) , dark place to dry out. On average this will take around two weeks, but keep checking on them. When they feel dry and crumbly to the touch then they are ready. At this point you can either store the parts whole or grind them to a powder using a pestle and mortar; it depends entirely on your preference and in what manner you will be using the herb. For instance, ground herbs are very useful when making non-combustible incenses, and so doing this beforehand will save time later. Store the herbs in glass jars (preferably opaque) away from sunlight, labeled with its information.

Each time you work with the herb (s) you should be concentrating on the properties you wish to empower and amplify within them. There are specific empowering rituals that can be used, but these are relatively easy to find or devise yourselves, so I will not devote time to them here. Herbs gradually lose their potency after harvesting; a general rule is that flowers can be kept for one year, while leaves, bark, fruits and seeds can be kept for two years. After this time any surplus should be returned to the earth and the stock replaced.

Another way to store your herbs is by infusing them within oil which can then be used for anointing etc. This is especially effective for flowers, but can be used for any herb. To do this, fill a jar with your chosen herb and add equal parts of olive and grapeseed oil making sure the herb is covered. Press out the air bubbles and store in a cool, dark place. For two weeks open the jar every few days to press out the air bubbles. Once this period has passed, seal and leave for a further four weeks before decanting into an opaque glass bottle and labeling.

The final area I wish to address is that of adaptation. Witchcraft has at its heart an ability to change and use whatever is available to the individual. Yes it’s nice to ‘do things properly’ but in an emergency you need to be able to utilize whatever is to hand, it’s no less effective, it’s simply more urgent. And so, on a smaller scale, can we be resourceful when it comes to ingredients. When looking over any spell or recipe etc. that contains items you do not have, ask yourself whether there is something you have that will do the same job. Consider what role or properties the ingredient is embodying and then review the properties of the herbs available to you; there may be a simple substitution you can make.

Grow your own herbs and plants to widen your options, use a plot in the garden or grow them in pots on windowsills if this is more suited to your lifestyle or circumstances. Find your local pagan/new age store or market stall and see what items they have to offer, they may even be able to order things for you if you request them. If there isn’t a stockist near you then try looking online, often stores in other cities will have a mail order service that you can utilize. Finally, at a pinch, you can buy dried herbs from the local supermarket or store. There are those in the Craft that say you must never do this because they won’t be effective, and to be fair there is some truth in this as you don’t know how long they have been there, and they won’t have been harvested in a ritual way, so I stress that this should probably be kept as a last resort. If you do choose to do this then make sure you empower the herbs properly and effectively, and use them relatively quickly as you do not know the time of harvest.

I hope that this article has been useful to people, and I welcome any feedback readers may have. So go out, experiment and explore the world you live in. Above all, have fun.

In love and light, blessed be

Elevander


Footnotes:
Bibliography:

Beyerl, P. (1998) A Compendium of Herbal Magick, Phoenix Publishing, USA

Beyerl, P. (1984) The Master Book of Herbalism, Phoenix Publishing, USA

Cunningham, S. (1982) Magical Herbalism; the Secret Craft of the Wise, Llewellyn, USA

Gregg, S. (2008) The Complete Illustrated Encyclopedia of Magical Plants, Fair Winds Press, Singapore

I Love The Craft, Charmed, and Practical Magic…Wait, I’m A Fluffy Bunny?

I Love The Craft, Charmed, and Practical Magic…Wait, I’m A Fluffy Bunny?

Author: Celeste

I doubt there is one person in the school I go to that doesn’t know that I’m a Pagan—or, as the part of the student body that don’t like me call me, “witch bitch.” This just past school year, my junior year, I made an attempt to clear up rumors by being interviewed by the school newspaper about my spirituality. I explained it (excluding words such as witchcraft, spell, magic, and Wicca of course) and hoped that it would make people see me in a new light. Unfortunately, because the aspiring journalist wrote it in such a way that made me sound very melodramatic (and put quotes around things I didn’t say!) I think it just added fuel to the fire.

But anyway, now that the background is out of the way, let’s get back on the subject at hand.

I like to view myself as a very intelligent, well-rounded, open-minded individual. Since day one, I’ve researched and researched and researched everything I could. Within the first week, I knew what a ‘fluffy bunny’ was, and I was determined not to be one. Right from the get-go, I knew magic wasn’t like in the media. I knew vampires and werewolves and dragons and other fantastical creatures like that weren’t real, although I certainly wished they were.

I had my fluff moments here and there despite all the research and work I put in, but don’t we all? I’m past that now, and although I don’t really self-identify as a Wiccan or a Witch any longer, that’s the label that’s stuck because I used to be very…. out there. Hence the fluff. So, rumors were thus spread, especially when I got to high school, and I became known as “witch bitch” to some, “the witch” to others, and still others just didn’t care. ( I appreciated those still others.)

So, anyway, in reference to the title. First, it was The Craft. My buddy Kat introduced it to me first, since she adores it. And I really liked it, too. Sure, many people think it’s a terrible movie, but I thought it was really good. Besides, you can only expect bad graphics and actors from a 90s movie about witches.

After The Craft was the lovely Practical Magic. Who doesn’t love this movie? Not only does it have great actresses, but also it’s a great love story and a great example of the fact that things like curses only work if you believe in them. The whole placebo effect thing.

And of course, there’s Charmed. I’m almost finished watching the entire series—I’m on the fifth episode of the eighth season now. And I love it. I think it’s hilarious. And even though the graphics and actors/actresses are even worse than in The Craft, it’s so addicting that you can’t help but love it. My mother and my 8-year-old sister love it as well.

Now, like I’ve mentioned, I like to view myself as a very intelligent person. I’m no longer “out there” about my spirituality. I don’t even wear a pentacle anymore: I wear a pretty little triskele. I get complimented on it all the time. If someone asks me what religion I am, I tell them I don’t like to put a label on my beliefs, but I do believe there is a divine out there, that it’s called by many names, and that I basically try my best to work in harmony with the earth and the universe.

If I know for a fact that the other person is of a like mind, I tell them that I’m an Eclectic Neo-Pagan. I don’t bring Neo-Pagan or New Age centered books with me to school unless I’m passing them on to a friend who wants to borrow it. I don’t talk very much about it, either, simply because there’s nothing to talk about. My experiences are my own and I don’t need to share them. I don’t shout my thoughts and feelings from the rooftops like I used to. I’ve become a much quieter, peaceful, and—because I’ve settled down with my spirituality—much more confident and centered. People respect me a lot more now, and even the rumors have seem to have settled down.

So, one day I was talking to a friend about TV shows we like, and I said my and my family love to watch Charmed. He snorted and said, “Yeah, ‘cause it’s about witches, right?”

Huh?

I ignored the comment and mentioned another TV show I like (House, but that’s not the point here) , but it left me wondering what people think of me when it comes to the kind of media I like. Do people really think I only like The Craft, Charmed, and Practical Magic—and Harry Potter, but who doesn’t love Harry Potter? —because they’re about witches? Do I come off as fluffy bunny simply because I don’t hate the fantasy genre that is filled with vampires, witches, wizards, fairies, and other creatures?

I know there’s really nothing I can do about besides not mention the kind of media I like, but it still irks me. And it really gets me thinking about assumptions within the Pagan community, too. But here, it’s almost reversed. You’re ostracized if you DON’T love those kinds of things. Oh, but you can’t be “out there” with it. Except if you’re at a Pagan gathering. Then you can be “out there”.

But you all know what I’m talking about. It’s been discussed in several different articles on here before. I don’t need to go over the whole thing again. I really just wanted to blow off some steam.

I’m really just tired of the fluffy bunny thing. Okay, I admit, I used to use the fluffy bunny label all the time. Sometimes I still slip up and use it. I’m really trying not to, and it’s because I’m trying to get rid of that assumption that I’m fluffy bunny because of the kinds of TV shows and movies I like. Or books. Because I love the Sweep series by Cate Tiernan, too.

They’re fiction, people. We all know they’re fiction. Granted, there are those out there who don’t think they’re fiction, but those people are much more few and far between than we think they are. We aren’t like rabid Twilight fans that convert to Cullenism and think that they’re vampires, too.

Just because someone loves The Craft, Charmed, and Practical Magic DOES NOT mean that they believe witchcraft is just like that. I wish more people would understand that.

Dear Wicca, Thank You.

Dear Wicca, Thank You.

Author: Selena Rose

I began to research Wicca when I was eleven or twelve years old. I – obviously – was not extremely serious about it at that point, and the interest came and went for a year or two. I always loved the idea of the religion, but I didn’t seriously start studying until I was about thirteen. And I studied for almost a solid two years before I started to practice. I know that it was still very young and, looking back, maybe it was too young. But I don’t regret starting early because it just gave me more time to develop into the kind of spiritual person that I wanted to become.

When I was sixteen I developed Anorexia Nervosa. During the year and a half battle, I dropped over twenty pounds, yo-yoed between weights, dealt with depression, anxiety, and a number of other “issues”. Twenty pounds is not nearly as serious as it could have become, I know. I got lucky that it didn’t get worse. Physically, I was not that ill. The illness was completely and entirely mental. I was dealing with self-hatred, feeling worthless, like I was created wrong.

Over the December holidays, I was shopping for gifts with my family. We celebrate a very secular Christmas and I celebrate Yule in my own ways on my own. I was seventeen at this point, a senior in high school. I decided to buy myself a Yule gift while I was at Borders and headed back to the religion section of the store.

There were a few titles I was familiar with but never purchased, a few I owned. I ran my hands over the spines, trying to get some kind of idea of what to purchase. My body and mind stopped on a thin, black binding. I bought the book and took it home. Literally, that night, my life changed.

The book was The Circle Within by Dianne Sylvan. If you’ve ever read it, you should realize how beautiful it was to me. It opened my eyes to parts of Wicca and Witchcraft that I never knew existed and somehow, I wanted them in my life. I can’t point out a specific passage that changed everything. It was everything at once. I finished the book in less than twenty-four hours. And I started my own journey toward recovery of my eating disorder.

Yes, one book did all that. I brought that book to school. I underlined and starred passages that I needed to remember. I kept it in my mind all the time as I tried to work my way up to a semi-normal number of calories a day. And it worked. I ended up purchasing Sylvan’s other book, The Body Sacred. That was probably one of the greatest purchases of my life, as well. I kind of owe everything to her. After that, I began to read more about the spirituality of Wicca, and created my own bond with the God and Goddess that was one of the most beautiful feelings I have ever felt in my life. I felt genuine and I felt new.

For several months, I was deep into my spirituality and practice. For that summer I worked at a very Zen coffee house where incense was always burning and Bob Marley was constantly on the sound system. Everything was organic and healthy and I felt extremely at peace for a whole summer as I prepared to go away to college. I had a wonderful therapist helping me with my “launching phase” who helped me heal my relationship with my mother (that was always a troubling spot for me) . I was in the good place in my life. And I went away to college and my life did a tailspin again.

In college, I gained a good eight or ten pounds. I didn’t really mind too much at first. I was okay. I just started to go to the gym a little more often and I paid more attention to what I was eating. It’s difficult in the dining hall because you don’t exactly know what you’re getting on your plate. Around October, I noticed one of my roommates acting strange. I noticed classic symptoms of Anorexia in her. I saw myself. She was dropping weight like crazy, sleeping way too often, spending hours at the gym and becoming very secluded. It took me two times of addressing the situation to her to get her to fess up.

Meanwhile, I retreated back into my old bad habits, turning to Anorexia as a crutch when I was stressed out about school, friends, or relationships. In just about a month I dropped over ten pounds. I lost all the weight I gained when I arrived, and then some. I was becoming happier with my body, but worse about my soul. I knew that what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn’t stop it. I was afraid to lose it. I had just started talking to a guy that I seriously liked and he liked me and I wanted to be lovely.

During this year I also stopped practicing Wicca. I still considered it my religion, but I was not as active as I could have been. I would pray once in a while to try and figure out my life, but it was difficult to keep focused on it. A few days ago, things changed again.

I opened up to one of my friends about my eating disorder. She then told me that she had similar problems, only on the Bulimia side. She had been in and out of treatment and offered to help me any way she could. I told her that I didn’t want help right now. And I lost two more pounds the next day. Losing weight made me feel secure, but it also scared me. I felt a bit out of control when the number kept dropping lower, lower. I was starting to get very worried and unhappy. I would go on drinking binges because I knew that it would make me weight less in the morning. (FYI – NOT a reason to have a drink, especially if you’re underage. I do NOT condone drinking to excess.) I had become reckless. I was scared. I had a breakdown in the shower after going to the gym one day and asked myself – when will I be happy? When will I become complete again? I thought it was about the number, but there was another voice in my head telling me that there was something more out there for me. I had to learn that I was more than my eating disorder.

Somewhere along the way, I tried to eat a little more. Mostly it was to appease everyone else who was worried: my friends, my sister, and somewhere deep in me, myself. Then my second roommate found a great website with a ton of yoga and some meditation. I had completely stopped doing yoga and meditating and I needed that. So I decided to try again and be serious about it. I also pulled out my good ‘ol Dianne Sylvan book again. I wanted to get back to the girl I used to be. I was happiest when I was greeting Divinity each morning and saying goodnight before bed. I was happiest when I could sit outside for hours just staring at the trees and feeling the Earth breathe beneath me. I was happiest when I could fully be myself, in my own skin. Every time a Sabbat comes around, I remember how this religion is Me. Because I always miss celebrating one to the fullest extent that I can because of the completeness that celebration always brings to me.

The beauty of Wicca is seeing the beauty in everything and feeling the magic pulse within yourself and all around you. If I’m not living, I can’t feel that. If I’m not being alive to the greatest extent that I can, there is no point. We are all a part of the Divine. The Divine is not ugly, or fat, or useless. And through learning this, I have to learn to respect myself.

If you’re struggling in any of the same ways that I did – I am feeling your pain. It is a meal-to-meal struggle. And that’s sad because food is one of the most magical pieces of art in the entire world. But it is possible to survive, and spirituality can help. It is not the only tool; you have to want to get better. I was not sure that I wanted to get better, and then I realized that not only did I want to – I needed to. In order to feel the beauty of the world around us, we have to be alive. I’m used to being completely dead inside because of this disease and for the last few days I’ve felt alive. Not completely – but much more than I have in a while.

Recovery is one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. And now I’m doing it for the second time. It is damn scary and I’m afraid for every day. Yet I continue to try. Some days are worse than others, but I still keep on, and I hope to continue to keep on until I have a healthy relationship with food again.

Do something scary and live. Because I firmly believe that it is worth it. Especially as Pagans, we have the ability to see the world in a way that not everyone can. We have different ways of appreciating the unbelievable qualities all around us. So appreciate it, and live. It’s what I’m trying to do.