10 “Mythological” Deities Of Love And Lust

While the standards of beauty may have changed throughout the centuries, all humans share an inescapable biological urge to procreate. Feelings of love and lust are therefore extremely important and have influenced even our deities—who, after all, are usually reflections of our own characteristics.

10 Xochiquetzal – Aztec Mythology

 

With a name meaning “precious feather flower” the Nahuatl language, it’s no surprise that Xochiquetzal was an Aztec goddess of love. Various other aspects of Aztec life, such as flowers, pregnancy, and prostitutes, also fell under her domain, making her one of the more popular deities of the time—a feast in which her devotees dressed up in animal masks was held every eight years. Because of her affinity for marriage, she was often believed to be the wife of the rain god Tlaloc.

Unlike most Aztec fertility goddesses, Xochiquetzal was usually depicted as a beautiful young woman, which caused her problems with some of the more misogynistic gods of their pantheon. While still married to Tlaloc, she was kidnapped by Tezcatlipoca, the god of the night, and forced to marry him, after which she was enthroned as the goddess of love. By another of her husbands she was also the mother of Quetzalcoatl, the feathered serpent god of Aztec mythology.

9 Clíodhna – Irish Mythology

 

Clíodhna was an Irish goddess sometimes depicted as a banshee or even Queen of the Banshees (or Fairies, depending on the translation). However, she was also the goddess of love, perhaps because she was considered the most beautiful woman in the world. Unlike many other love deities, Clíodhna remained chaste, keeping her love locked away until she met the mortal Ciabahn—who, in a lucky coincidence, just happened to be among the most handsome men ever to have walked the Earth. Clíodhna loved him so much that she left Tir Tairngire, the land of the gods, to be with him.

However, when the other Irish deities found out about this, they conspired to get her back. While Ciabahn was away, Clíodhna was lulled to sleep by the music played by a local minstrel and was subsequently taken by a wave (the tide in the area is still referred to as “Clíodhna’s wave”). Depending on the source, she was either returned to Tir Tairngire or drowned in the sea.

8 Tu Er Shen – Chinese Mythology

A relatively minor deity of Chinese mythology, Tu Er Shen—or Hu Tianbao, as he was known when he was mortal—is the god of homosexual love and marriage. Born during the Qing dynasty, Hu Tianbao found himself attracted to an official of the local government, spying on him naked through a hole in his bathroom wall. When his peeping was discovered, Tianbao was beaten to death. Moved by his unrequited love, the gods of the underworld took pity on him and restored him to life as the deity of homosexual relationships.

Perhaps because they were used as a slang term for homosexual men, rabbits are considered a symbol of homoerotic love in China, and Tu Er Shen is often depicted as a rabbit in the few shrines dedicated to him. Sadly, in many of the places where he is worshiped, homosexual activity remains a punishable criminal offense.

7 Hathor – Egyptian Mythology

One of the most popular, and longest-lasting, of the Egyptian goddesses, Hathor was mentioned as early as the second dynasty (around 2890-2686 BC), and perhaps even before that. Since she survived for so long, Hathor took on a number of roles, including spells as the goddess of love, beauty, mining, and music. However, it was her time as the Eye of Ra which led to her most interesting stories. The Eye of Ra is the term Egyptians used for the feminine counterpart to Ra, a role filled by a number of goddesses, including Ra’s daughter, Hathor.

Found in King Tut’s tomb, a story known as “The Destruction of Mankind” tells of a time when Hathor, at Ra’s insistence, became the war goddess Sekhmet in order to punish humans for their sinful ways. When the bloodthirsty goddess got out of control, Ra tried to stop his daughter—but failed. Just before she killed every last person on Earth, Ra managed to get her drunk. Hathor immediately forgot what she was doing and returned to normal. In another, possibly equally disturbing story, she performed a striptease for her father in order to cheer him up.

6 Eros – Greek Mythology

The Greek version of Cupid, Eros was Aphrodite’s son and the god of desire and attraction (although, he was sometimes depicted as one of the Protogenoi, or primeval gods). Much like his Roman counterpart, he often took the form of a young winged boy, complete with bow and arrow. He was fiercely loyal to his mother—although he was prone to fits of disobedience. That rebellious aspect of the god showed up prominently in his most famous myth.

A young woman named Psyche was born and proclaimed to be so beautiful as to be the second coming of Aphrodite. As was her nature, the goddess was angered and sent Eros to shoot her with her arrow and cause her to fall in love with the ugliest man on Earth as punishment. However, her beauty was so great that Eros fell in love and ignored his mother’s wishes, whisking Psyche away. Eros never revealed his identity but Psyche’s curiosity got the better of her and she peeked in on him when he was sleeping. Betrayed by his love, the god fled and Psyche wandered the Earth until Zeus agreed to let them get married.

5 Rati- Hinduism

More popularly known as the wife of Kama, the god of love, Rati herself plays a large role in love and lust in Hinduism. With a number of names, most of which speak to her immense beauty, it seems obvious Rati would be the goddess of desire. Depending on the source, she is the daughter of either Daksha or Brahma. In the case of the latter, she was the reason for the god’s suicide, after he lusted after her. Rati immediately killed herself as well (they were both quickly resurrected).

But Rati’s biggest claim to fame was successfully changing Shiva’s mind. The Destroyer, sworn to ascetic ways after his first wife’s death, had been forced to fall in love again. In revenge, he killed Kama, turning him to ash with his third eye. The best known version of the story has Rati persuade Shiva to revive her husband, with the caveat that Kama is to be invisible for eternity.

4 Oshun – Yoruba

The goddess of beauty and love, especially of the erotic kind, Oshun is extremely popular among the West African followers of the Yoruba religion. Renowned for her beauty, she is usually depicted as a woman adorned with jewelry, although she is sometimes shown as a mermaid. Oshun is also preeminent among the female deities of the Yoruba religion and demands the respect that title deserves. When the gods were first creating the Earth, and they neglected to ask Oshun to assist, she made it impossible for them to make anything until they came to her for help.

Due to her reputation for complete purity, Oshun is also often associated with fresh water, an extremely important resource for the people of Western Africa. In addition, she also protects women and children during childbirth and is also seen as a protector from diseases, especially smallpox.

3 Hymen- Greek Mythology

The god of married love, Hymen was a lesser-known god of the Greek pantheon. Either the son of Apollo and a Muse or Dionysus and Aphrodite, he led a charmed life thanks to his beauty, until he fell in love with a unnamed maiden, who didn’t feel the same way. While Hymen was trying to court her, she was kidnapped by pirates, along with a number of other young women (some versions of the myth even have Hymen taken by the pirates because his beauty made them mistake him for a woman).

Whatever the reason, Hymen found himself on the ship and killed the pirates, saving the girls, and convincing his love to marry him. Their marriage was so successful that it became the ideal to which every Greek couple aspired—his name was included in the wedding songs in order to invoke his blessing.

2 Yue Lao – Chinese Mythology

Yue Lao, otherwise known as “The Man under the Moon,” is a popular figure in Chinese mythology, as he is the matchmaker and overseer of heterosexual marriage. Widely connected with the red thread of destiny, Yue Lao is often seen as benevolent deity, binding two people’s hearts together in love and marriage.

The best known story involving Yue Lao is that of Wei Gu and his quest to find a wife. After years of unsuccessful attempts, Wei Gu came upon Yue Lao reading from the book of marriages. Insisting he know who his future wife was, Wei Gu was shown a vision of an old woman with a young child, living in poverty. Distraught that the old woman was to be his wife, Wei Gu ordered his servant to kill the young child, though she escaped serious injury. After years passed, he finally found a suitable wife and noticed she had a scar. When Wei Gu asked about it, he was astonished to find that she had been the young child he tried to have killed (although he probably never told her; some secrets are best kept hidden).

1 Freyja – Norse Mythology

Freyja, which translates as “lady,” had a number of roles in the Norse belief system. As well as the goddess of love, she was Queen of Fólkvangr, a place similar to Valhalla, where half of those who died in battle would go after death. However, unlike most of the other deities on this list, Freyja had a vicious bad side, full of greed, jealousy, and evil deeds. Among other things, she’s credited with teaching witchcraft to humans, a practice seen as evil by the Norse.

She was often at odds with Loki, who sought to torment the goddess and steal items from her, including her famed necklace Brísingamen, which was later retrieved by Heimdall. In addition, Freyja would constantly scour the Earth for her husband, who would go missing from time to time, crying tears of red gold as she searched. She did have one tremendous advantage over the other deities on this list—her favored mode of transportation was a chariot pulled by cats.

From listverse.com

The Witches Correspondences for Friday, November 20th

celtic musician

FRIDAY CORRESPONDENCES

Venus/Water/East/West/South/Dawn/Female/Libra/Taurus

 

Magickal Intentions: Love, Romance, Marriage, Sexual Matters, Physical Beauty, Friendship and Partnerships, Strangers, Heart

Color: aqua, blue, light blue, brown, green, pale green, magenta, peach, pink, rose, white, all pastels

Number: 5, 6

Metal: copper

Charm: green or white garments, scepter

Stone: alexandrite, amethyst, coral, diamond, emerald, jade, jet, black moonstone, peridot, smoky quartz, tiger’s-eye, pink tourmaline

Animal: camel, dove, elephant, goat, horse, pigeon, sparrow

Plant: apple, birch, cherry, clematis, clove, coriander, heather, hemlock, hibiscus, ivy, lotus, moss, myrtle, oats, pepperwort, peppermint, pinecone, quince, raspberry, rose, pink rose, red rose, rose hips, saffron, sage, savin, stephanotis, strawberry, thyme, vanilla, verbena, violet, water lily, yarrow, and all flowers

Incense: ambergris, camphor, mace, musk, myrrh, rose, saffron, sage, sandalwood, sweetgrass, vanilla, violet, all floral scents

Goddess: Aphrodite, Asherah, Baalith, Brigid, Erzulie, Freya (Passionate Queen), Frigg, Gefion, Harbor (Beautiful One), Hestia, Inanna, Ishtar (Lady of Passion and Desire), Lakshmi, Lilith, Mokosh, Nehalennia, Nerthus, Ostara, Pombagira, Sarasvati, Shakti, Shekinah, Sirtur, Al Uzza, Venus (Queen of Pleasure), Vesta

God: Allah, Bacchus, Bes, Cupid, the Dagda, Dionysus, El, Eros (God of Love), Freyr, Frit Ailek, Shukra

Evocation: Agrat Bat Mahalat, Anael, Hagiel, Mokosba, Rasbid, Sachiel, Uriel, Velas

 

Courtesy of Moonlight Musings

 

The Witches Correspondences for Friday, November 6th

The Witching Hour

Friday Correspondences

Venus/Water/East/West/South/Dawn/Female/Libra/Taurus

 

Magickal Intentions: Love, Romance, Marriage, Sexual Matters, Physical Beauty, Friendship and Partnerships, Strangers, Heart

Color: aqua, blue, light blue, brown, green, pale green, magenta, peach, pink, rose, white, all pastels

Number: 5, 6

Metal: copper

Charm: green or white garments, scepter

Stone: alexandrite, amethyst, coral, diamond, emerald, jade, jet, black moonstone, peridot, smoky quartz, tiger’s-eye, pink tourmaline

Animal: camel, dove, elephant, goat, horse, pigeon, sparrow

Plant: apple, birch, cherry, clematis, clove, coriander, heather, hemlock, hibiscus, ivy, lotus, moss, myrtle, oats, pepperwort, peppermint, pinecone, quince, raspberry, rose, pink rose, red rose, rose hips, saffron, sage, savin, stephanotis, strawberry, thyme, vanilla, verbena, violet, water lily, yarrow, and all flowers

Incense: ambergris, camphor, mace, musk, myrrh, rose, saffron, sage, sandalwood, sweetgrass, vanilla, violet, all floral scents

Goddess: Aphrodite, Asherah, Baalith, Brigid, Erzulie, Freya (Passionate Queen), Frigg, Gefion, Harbor (Beautiful One), Hestia, Inanna, Ishtar (Lady of Passion and Desire), Lakshmi, Lilith, Mokosh, Nehalennia, Nerthus, Ostara, Pombagira, Sarasvati, Shakti, Shekinah, Sirtur, Al Uzza, Venus (Queen of Pleasure), Vesta

God: Allah, Bacchus, Bes, Cupid, the Dagda, Dionysus, El, Eros (God of Love), Freyr, Frit Ailek, Shukra

Evocation: Agrat Bat Mahalat, Anael, Hagiel, Mokosba, Rasbid, Sachiel, Uriel, Velas

 

Courtesy of Moonlight Musings

Your Ancient Symbol Card for February 18th is Love

Your Ancient Symbol Card for Today

Love

Love indicates that love is either present in our life or a distinct possibility. Be open to all possibilities, remembering that true love is given freely, without condition, and does not have to be earned. This is the kind of love we want to welcome into our life and to give to others. Be open to new ideas, and beware of judging against someone in an unloving manner. When Love appears, return to the place where you can love yourself and then seek out the same love from others.

As a daily card, Love suggests that for those who are currently in a relationship the opportunity to deepen the bond is present. For those who are single, Love implies that the prospect for them to begin a romantic relationship is very strong at this time.

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The Myth of Cupid and Psyche (The Divine Love Story)

The Myth of Cupid and Psyche

The Divine Love Story or Myth of Cupid and Psyche

By , About.com

The great Greek goddess of love and beauty, Aphrodite, was born from the foam near the island of Cyprus, for which reason she is referred to as “the Cyprian.” Aphrodite was a jealous goddess, but she was also passionate. Not only did she love the men and gods in her life, but her sons and grandchildren, as well. Sometimes her possessive instincts led her too far. When her son Cupid found a human to love — one whose beauty rivaled hers — Aphrodite did all in her power to thwart the marriage.

How Cupid and Psyche Met

Psyche was worshiped for her beauty in her homeland. This drove Aphrodite mad, so she sent a plague and let it be known the only way the land could get back to normal was to sacrifice Psyche. The king, who was Psyche’s father, tied Psyche up and left her to her death at the hands of some presumed fearsome monster. You may note that this isn’t the first time in Greek mythology that this happened. The great Greek hero Perseus found his bride, Andromeda, tied up as prey for a sea monster. Andromeda was sacrificed to appease Poseidon who had ravaged the country of Ethiopia, which was ruled by her father, after Queen Cassiopeia had boasted about her own beauty. In the case of Psyche, it was Aphrodite’s son Cupid who released and married the princess.

The Mystery About Cupid

Unfortunately for the young couple, Cupid and Psyche, Aphrodite was not the only one trying to foul things up. Psyche had two sisters who were as jealous as Aphrodite.

Cupid was a wonderful lover and husband to Psyche, but there was one odd thing about their relationship: He made sure Psyche never saw what he looked like. Psyche didn’t mind. She had a fulfilling night life in the dark with her husband, and during the day, she had all the luxuries she could ever want.

When the sisters learned about the luscious, extravagant lifestyle of their lucky, beautiful sister, they urged Psyche to pry into the area of his life that Psyche’s husband kept hidden from her.

Cupid was a god, and gorgeous as he had to have been with Aphrodite for a mother, but for reasons known best to him, he didn’t want his mortal wife to see his form. Psyche’s sister didn’t know he was a god, although they may have suspected it. However, they did know that Psyche’s life was much happier than theirs. Knowing their sister well, they preyed on her insecurities and persuaded Psyche that her husband was a hideous monster.

Psyche assured her sisters they were wrong, but since she’d never seen him, even she started having doubts. Psyche decided to satisfy the girls’ curiosity, so that night she took a candle to her sleeping husband in order to look at him.

Cupid Deserts Psyche

Cupid’s angelic form was exquisite, so Psyche stood there gawking at her husband with her candle melting. While Psyche dawdled, ogling, a bit of wax dripped on her husband. Her rudely awakened, irate, disobeyed, injured husband-angel-god flew away.

“See, I told you she was a no good human,” said mother Aphrodite to her convalescing son Cupid. “Now you’ll have to be content among the gods.”

Cupid might have gone along with the de facto divorce, but Psyche couldn’t. Impelled by love of her gorgeous husband, she implored her mother-in-law to give her another chance. Aphrodite agreed, but ungraciously, saying, “I cannot conceive that any serving-wench as hideous as yourself could find any means to attract lovers save by making herself their drudge; wherefore now I myself will make trial of your worth.”

The Epic Trials of Psyche

But Aphrodite had no intention of playing fair. She devised 4 tasks (not 3 as is conventional in mythic hero quests; this is a feminine story), each task more exacting than the last. Psyche passed the first 3 challenges with flying colors:

  1. sort a huge mount of barley, millet, poppy seeds, lentils, and beans.   Ants (pismires) help her sort the grains within the time allotted.
  2. gather a hank of the wool of the shining golden sheep.   A reed tells her how to accomplish this task without being killed by the vicious animals.
  3. fill a crystal vessel with the water of the spring that feeds the Styx and Cocytus.   An eagle helps her out.

But the last task was too much for Psyche:

4. Aphrodite asked Psyche to bring her back a box of Persephone’s beauty cream.

Going to the Underworld was a challenge for the bravest of the Greek mythical heroes. Demigod Hercules could go to the Underworld without much bother, but even Theseus had trouble and had to be rescued by Hercules. Psyche barely batted an eye when Aphrodite told her she would have to go to the most dangerous region known to mortals. That part was easy, especially after the tower told her how to find the entryway to the Underworld, how get around Charon and Cerberus, and how to behave before the Underworld queen.

The part of the fourth task that was too much for Psyche was the temptation to make herself more beautiful. If the perfect beauty of the perfect goddess Aphrodite needed this Underworld beauty cream, Psyche reasoned, how much more would it help an imperfect mortal woman? Thus, Psyche retrieved the box successfully, but then she opened it and fell into a deathlike sleep, as Aphrodite had secretly predicted.

  “And by and by shee opened the boxe where she could perceive no beauty nor any thing else, save onely an infernall and deadly sleepe, which immediatly invaded all her members as soone as the boxe was uncovered, in such sort that she fell downe upon the ground, and lay there as a sleeping corps.”   William Adlington Translation (1566)

Reunion and Happy Ending to the Myth of Cupid and Psyche

At this point, divine intervention was called for if the story were to have an ending that made anyone really happy. With Zeus’ connivance, Cupid brought his wife to Olympus where, at Zeus’s command, she was given nectar and ambrosia so she would become immortal.

  “Incontinently after Jupiter commanded Mercury to bring up Psyches, the spouse of Cupid, into the Pallace of heaven. And then he tooke a pot of immortality, and said, Hold Psyches, and drinke, to the end thou maist be immortall, and that Cupid may be thine everlasting husband.

On Olympus, in the presence of the other gods, Aphrodite reluctantly reconciled with her pregnant daughter-in-law, who was about to give birth to a grandchild Aphrodite would (obviously) dote on, Pleasure.

Another Story of Cupid and Psyche

C.S. Lewis took Apuleius’ version of this myth and turned it on its ear in Till We Have Faces. The tender love story is gone. Instead of having the story seen through the eyes of Psyche, it’s seen through her sister Orval’s perspective. Instead of the refined Aphrodite of the Roman story, the mother goddess in C.S. Lewis’ version is a far more weighty, chthonic Earth-Mother-Goddess power.

More on C.S. Lewis and the re-telling of the Cupid and Psyche myth: A Great Gulf Fixed: The Problem of Obsessive Love in C.S. Lewis’ Till We Have Faces

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Precious Pup of the Day for April 19th

Cupid, the Dog of the Day
Name: Cupid
Age: Two years old
Gender: Male Breed: Chihuahua, Papillon
Home: Golden Meadow, Louisiana, USA
I came to meet Cupid through a good friend of mine. She said her dog was pregnant and thought about me right away. She knew of my love for dogs and thought I would be a great choice for one of her dog’s pups. I couldn’t wait to choose my pup when they were born. My dad said I could have one but it had to be a girl because boys have a tendency to be territorial. I was fine with that because I just really wanted my own dog. The pups would be Chihuahua/Papillon mixes.

The day they were born, I received a picture from my friend with all the pups. I was so excited and couldn’t wait to get the call that I was allowed to go pick one out. When my friend called me, I rushed right over to choose one. I played with each pup, but none really sparked a relationship with me. Then I noticed one of the pups crying and strayed away from the rest. I picked him up, and fell in love with him. I noticed he had a heart spot on his side and instantly gave him the name Cupid.

I begged my parents to let me get the male I fell in love with. They ended up giving in with the agreement that I had to pay for his vet bills and to train him. When I knew Cupid was mine, I couldn’t wait til the day he came home.

My friend dropped off Cupid to me when he was six weeks old – five days after my boyfriend and I made our relationship official. He was the tiniest, cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

Two years later, I couldn’t love him anymore than I already do. He loves to cuddle with me, play with his favorite toy, and tows his blanket everywhere he goes. He’s the sweetest pup who loves to give kisses to anyone he meets. He acts like he’s so tough sometimes, but at the same time is scared of bugs.

I don’t know where I would be without this dog now that I’ve known what life is like with him. He’s always there to listen. He knows when I am upset. He knows when I am sick. He will be the best nurse and take care of you if you’re sick-by “take care” I mean, he naps with you and never leaves your side.

After getting to know his personality, his name does suit him. He makes everyone he meet fall in love with him. Instead of arrows, though, he has kisses!

Cupid, the Dog of the Day
Cupid, the Dog of the Day

The History of Valentine’s Day

The History of Valentine’s Day

The origins of Valentine’s Day trace back to the ancient Roman celebration of Lupercalia. Held on February 15, Lupercalia honored the gods Lupercus and Faunus, as well as the legendary founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus.

In addition to a bountiful feast, Lupercalia festivities are purported to have included the pairing of young women and men. Men would draw women’s names from a box, and each couple would be paired until next year’s celebration.

While this pairing of couples set the tone for today’s holiday, it wasn’t called “Valentine’s Day” until a priest named Valentine came along. Valentine, a romantic at heart, disobeyed Emperor Claudius II’s decree that soldiers remain bachelors. Claudius handed down this decree believing that soldiers would be distracted and unable to concentrate on fighting if they were married or engaged. Valentine defied the emperor and secretly performed marriage ceremonies. As a result of his defiance, Valentine was put to death on February 14.

After Valentine’s death, he was named a saint. As Christianity spread through Rome, the priests moved Lupercalia from February 15 to February 14 and renamed it St. Valentine’s Day to honor Saint Valentine.

What’s Cupid Got to Do with It?

According to Roman mythology, Cupid was the son of Venus, the goddess of love and beauty. Cupid was known to cause people to fall in love by shooting them with his magical arrows. But Cupid didn’t just cause others to fall in love – he himself fell deeply in love.

As legend has it, Cupid fell in love with a mortal maiden named Psyche. Cupid married Psyche, but Venus, jealous of Psyche’s beauty, forbade her daughter-in-law to look at Cupid. Psyche, of course, couldn’t resist temptation and sneaked a peek at her handsome husband. As punishment, Venus demanded that she perform three hard tasks, the last of which caused Psyche’s death.

Cupid brought Psyche back to life and the gods, moved by their love, granted Pysche immortality. Cupid thus represents the heart and Psyche the (struggles of the) human soul.

Fun Facts

  • Approximately 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year. Half of those are sent through Care2 (OK, maybe not HALF… or even half of half… but we are growing fast!)
  • In order of popularity, Valentine’s Day cards are given to: teachers, children, mothers, wives, sweethearts, Koko the gorilla.
  • The expression “wearing your heart on your sleeve” comes from a Valentine’s Day party tradition. Young women would write their names on slips of paper to be drawn by young men. A man would then wear a woman’s name on his sleeve to claim her as his valentine.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

care2.com

Seven Things Not To Do on Valentine’s Day

Seven Things Not To Do on Valentine’s Day

  • Mel, selected from DivineCaroline

By Lyndsay Rush, DivineCaroline

Ahhh, Feburary 14. The day of love. The day that Cupid works for all year. The day Hallmark cashes in on our emotions.

For some people, February 14 is just another day. And this year, just another Sunday. Whether you’re indifferent, upset, or excited, there are some things you just shouldn’t do on this lovers’ holiday:

1. Go on a first date.
I would like to shake my fist at whoever suggests this as a way to spend Valentine’s Day. First dates are hard enough as it is without the added pressure of taking place on a holiday like this. Chances are you’ll either spend the evening with false expectations, hoping he’s “The One,” or you’ll spend the night miserable and wishing you were home in your pajamas. Valentine’s Day is NOT the day to take a dating risk. Reschedule for the next day and question his sanity if going out on Valentine’s Day was his idea.

2. Complain.
There is nothing worse than hearing someone spend all day complaining about their lack of prospects, heartache, or ticking biological clock. Save yourself some dignity, throw out a few snarky jokes about being single if you must, and then save it for your journal. Negativity begets negativity and you will feel the effects of being a downer all day. And so will everyone around you.

3. Call your ex.
ABORT! I repeat, ABORT! If you are considering this as you look tearfully out your bedroom window with The Holiday soundtrack playing in the background, ABORT! On a day like this it’s natural to have your thoughts drift to the last person you were with, but you broke up for a reason and even Cupid can’t create a day big enough to change that. Avoid the Valentine’s Day emotional hangover and don’t attempt a reconnect.

 

4. Reenact MTV Spring Break.
The last thing you need to do is drink your way out of this holiday. While it is perfectly acceptable (and fun!) to dress up and go out with your girlfriends on V-Day, don’t channel your inner “Senior year spring break.” Remember, this is just another day on the calendar and you taking four tequila shots is not going to fix anything about your love life.

5. Take yourself for granted.
This is a big one. Do whatever it takes to get perspective on life amidst the flower, candy, and romance-induced mayhem. Your worth and value as a human being and sister, daughter, friend is in no way influenced by your relationship status. Keep your chin up and focus on what you have accomplished this year or what you hope to accomplish in the future. You are loved and valued for more than your ability to snag a significant other.

6. Be alone.
The chances of the above “not to-dos” occurring is exponentially higher if you’re alone on Valentine’s Day. Gather with friends over dinner. Get some pals and go see a flick. Open a bottle of champagne with your best friend. Do whatever it takes to surround yourself with love. This is one of the best ways to ensure you spend the night having fun and focusing on the wonderful, non-romantic loves in your life.

7. Overlook the good in your life.
This one goes along with the “taking yourself for granted” no-no. Although it’s easy to be swept up by romantic comedies, candlelight dinners, past lovers, roses, chocolates, teddy bears, and diamonds, there is much in life that is equally–if not more–important. Try making a list of blessings in your life. From “roof over my head” to “amazing nail polish collection,” pen all of the things in your life that make it excellent. We need reminders of this every day and not just Valentine’s Day.

At the end of the day, what really matters is a healthy perspective on February 14 and all that comes along with it. In no way do I mean to imply that this should be a day of doom and gloom to those of us who are not currently in a relationship, but I offer this list as an opportunity to maintain perspective amidst a wildly commercial day focused on romantic love. Cheers to a day full of love–in whatever way it reveals itself to you!