Your Daily Horoscopes for May 17th

It feels like a brand new world with the Moon in pioneering Aries today, yet her opposition to restrictive Saturn can hold us back until we have a better idea of where we’re going. And although we are building momentum now that energetic Mars is speeding up, we may nostalgically look back at what we had with Venus a couple days into her retrograde cycle. Nevertheless, we are still heading toward big changes that grow more inevitable every day.
Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You are being offered a new deal when the Moon visits your excitable sign, emphasizing the extraordinary potential that unexpected opportunities bring. You can’t rely on old assumptions anymore since the rules are changing as you play the game. Don’t be cocky and think that everything you imagine will unfold according to your plans. You have something important to learn from the obstacles you now face in spite of your good intentions.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You’re at another turning point in your life, but everything could seem more important now than it actually is. It still may take several months to gain clarity about your long-term goals, yet your current choices are instrumental in setting a new direction. Don’t be overly concerned if you can’t synthesize your desires into one single goal. Just allow your daydreams to flow without analysis; you will have plenty of time to make sense of it all later on.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

You wish you could bounce around from one amazing distraction to another today, but you are afraid that others might perceive you as being flighty and unreliable. Unfortunately, your restlessness only increases if you attempt to restrain yourself by finishing every single thing you start. Luckily, you will have time to complete projects soon enough; just enjoy your high spirits now, even if you’re secretly worried that you’re just wasting your time and energy.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You might feel as if someone is pushing you to go faster than you prefer. Fortunately, you are enthusiastic about the prospects of where your work is leading, even if the potential instability also brings up old issues about your fear of change. Don’t let old memories get in the way of current opportunities. Thankfully, you won’t need to sacrifice too much security in order to keep up with how fast your life is unfolding.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Someone with authority may be granting you the freedom of choice now. You are being offered a fresh start, but you still have to take the initiative in order to follow your dreams. The path you choose may require time to manifest, but this is the chance to set your intentions. Take action today. Even if you don’t have all the details figured out, you can put the pieces together along the way.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You may be increasingly aware that something is missing from your life. It’s tricky to describe what you’re feeling now, but you realize that it’s time to let go of your old assumptions about what you can do. You might feel as if you’re being swept up by a big wave. However, if you say no and try to resist, you could end up regretting that you missed an opportunity of a lifetime.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Too much drama isn’t your idea of a good time, but someone could rock your world today by bringing surprising news, a significant opportunity or an innovative idea. However, it’s not wise to jump too quickly. Instead, exercising cautious optimism is a better strategy since anything that enters your life now looks better than it really is. Nevertheless, if you don’t turn your life inside out, you could take an important step on a major journey.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Making small improvements to your lifestyle by introducing new habits into your daily routine can have lasting positive impact. Fortunately, it’s easier than you expect to move past an old emotional pattern that prevents you from taking the next step on your path. However, there’s no latitude for halfway measures today. You know exactly what you must do now, so don’t delay any longer.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Although waves of nostalgia tempt you to hold on to the past, you have a narrow window of opportunity now to launch yourself into the future. Luckily, you aren’t one to turn down an invitation for a great adventure, so go ahead and set your sights on a far-off galaxy, strap on your seat belt and prepare for blast-off. Just don’t let your confidence grow into arrogance because you’re still likely to encounter a little turbulence along the way.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You need to reinvent your life now by remembering your personal history and retelling your story from a fresh perspective. Creating a new framework for the past enables you to envision radically different possibilities for the future. Nevertheless, your desire to break free from your present circumstances might stress you out because of the lack of security. Don’t worry if you need additional time to get everything in order before you make your move. It’s helpful to look back; just remember to also look ahead.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You can’t avoid the realization that your life is changing and the speed of events in your personal world seems to be accelerating. Even if you aren’t keeping up with everything, there’s no need for worry because the new routine looks like a lot of fun. However, if you experience self-doubt, remember that he who hesitates is lost. Ultimately, you can figure out a way to make it all work.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You may express a sigh of relief today as the pressure for change temporarily eases. Just keep in mind that your current growth phase isn’t finished; you simply have a chance now to move a project along at your own speed by taking a good idea and developing it further. You might be tempted to immediately jump right in, but impulsive actions won’t create the lasting results you seek. It’s more important to build momentum strategically than to rush ahead without knowing where you are going.

Your Love & Romance Horoscopes for May 17th


On the same day that Venus, planet of love is spending her first full day in retrograde motion in your communication sector, support from Saturn in your relationship sector locks into place. With both Venus and Saturn in retrograde motion, this opens the door to second chances on both the relationship and communication fronts and especially where they come together.


Mars, planet of passion is facing his final hurdle and the last obstacles he has to face before being able to fully flex his muscles and really get the romantic passions flowing. It’s an opposition with Chiron, planet of healing that might be pushing some buttons, but with this comes a chance to finally lay some old ghosts to rest.


On her very first full day in retrograde motion in your sign Venus, planet of love reaches out to Saturn, already in retrograde motion in your romantic sector. Support between the two planets controlling things on the romantic front locks into place, allowing you to draw on past experiences as a trip down memory lane takes on an even more romantic feel.


With Pluto, the only planet currently controlling things on the relationship front already in retrograde motion and Venus, the only planet controlling things on the romantic front spending her first full day in retrograde motion, it’s now all about the past. The door is not only open to second chances, but to revise or relabel past experiences.


The Moon’s monthly visit to an adventurous part of your chart is smiling kindly on forces in your romantic sector, reminding you that love is not only a journey, but it’s more about what’s learned along the way than getting to your destination. Embrace love with a spirit of adventure and get excited about your options.


Where things stand on the relationship front, what kind of pressure you’re experiencing and your reactions to things is going to tell a lot about the state of your relationships and the hold the past still has on you. You’ll either feel this intensively, not at all or anything in between, giving you a chance to see where things really stand.


Uranus, planet of surprise and synchronicity is now the only planet active in your relationship sector and it will be that way until early 2013. With the Moon not only back in your relationship sector but aligned with Uranus, it’s those hunches and gut reactions that have the power to create the right moment or to put you in the right place at the right time.


Mercury, planet of communication is spending his first, last and only full week in your relationship sector and due to leave in a week from today there’s a new sense of urgency when it comes to making sure that the communication lines are open. You’re in some defining days on the relationship front, with a need to make every opportunity to connect count.


Having the Moon in your romantic sector as Venus, planet of love spends her first full day in retrograde motion in your relationship sector is a huge advantage, giving you an intuitive read on just how much the tides have turned. It’s by listening to your heart and your intuition that you’ll begin this new journey on the right foot.


When Jupiter, planet of luck returned to your romantic sector in June 2011 he had just over a year to bring your love game up to speed, to convince you of what’s possible and to get you to invest in all that you can. That year comes to an end in just under 4 weeks time, with an urgent need to put in what you most want to get back.


As Venus, planet of love spends her first full day in retrograde motion in your romantic sector a sense of romantic nostalgia is likely to be strong and as she’s still at a standstill, a sense that time is standing still. You’re still halfway between the past and the future, with a need to give your heart a chance to adjust to this change in focus.


Since turning direct in your relationship sector last month Mars, planet of passion has been building up speed and momentum, but he always knew there was one more hurdle to cross and one more period of relationship pressure to navigate. You’re crossing that hurdle right now and if there is some relationship pressure, embrace it because it has the power to create a real breakthrough.

Your Daily Chinese Horoscopes for May 17th


Music is the answer if you are looking for a gift to impress a prospective partner or your significant other. You can get things going with the right mood music. Look for something new or unusual, some music from another culture could be stimulating.


Whether you are already employed or are looking for work, it is important that you make a good impression today. Get your best duds on, shine your shoes, put on your best face. There could be a hugely important opportunity in your workplace right now.


You should not commit to seasons tickets to musical, entertainment or sporting events today. You may find you are unable to use them. Chances and rescheduling of events of all kinds are likely to frustrate recreational and social plans right now. Be prepared for anything to happen.


You’ll sort out an interesting issue with a friend or loved one. The experience will make everyone feel much more happy and secure. Be sure that everyone understands the consequences. There will have to be adjustment and the changes may be stressful at first.


Other folks will be strongly interested in what you have to say today. You may have learned something about alternative healthcare, music or a craft, and will be able to share or teach something you love or are passionate about with others around you.


You will find that your recent spate of generosity has some unlikely benefits. You could meet someone important to your career or financial goals as a result of your mutual membership in a club or charity. Your organizational skills have caught someone’s eye.


You are in the spotlight today, and everyone is interested in what you have to say. You are attractive, exciting and interesting. If you have musical or creative talent it is a good time to get in front of an audience and show your stuff.


Your subconscious mind has finally exorcised the bats that have been floating around your belfry the past few days. You are suddenly clear and lucid, and have some amazing insights about yourself. You could have profound experiences during dreams, prayer or meditation today.


You could have a moment of profound insight about a friend, or a conversation with a friend could trigger awareness about your own thought processes. You will realize that you have to change some of your habitual reactions, and that idea will bring a great deal of positive change.


It looks like you could be headed for a promotion or a significant boost in your career. There will definitely be additional responsibilities, and for many this will mean extra work, but the working conditions, title, or support you receive from management will be increased.


You may be considering taking a trip or vacation soon. You will find that there are educational opportunities as well. Look for big ways to expand your boundaries and personal horizons. You have a chance to completely change your life.


This is a good time for trying out new financial or investment ideas, especially those that arise as opportunities in your workplace. You may hear of changes in your sector that leave you feeling more “bullish” on the future of your career.

the daily humorscopes for thursday, may 17th

the daily humorscope


Thursday, May 17, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
A man with a large machine will enter your house, and make you totally miserable.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Good day to begin making a monster costume. Be sure to make it nice and comfy, since you will discover that you actually enjoy lounging around in it.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
You will get the peculiar urge to go outside and roll around in something yicky. Also, you’ll notice your ears are getting hairy.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
There will be a great disturbance in the force, today. Fortunately, it will be caused by a really funny lawyer joke sweeping through the Universe, so there’s no reason for you to worry.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You will write some office email soon that positively sparkles with comic irony. You’ll be asked to knock it off.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You will find that if you deliberately mispronounce “sir” as “sair”, you can answer a lot of questions with either “yes air” or “nose hair.”
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Arachnids will be especially troublesome today. Chances are only fair that you will make it through the day without tangling with one or more giant Amazonian tarantulas. Keep a stick within reach, is my advice. A big stick.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You will have more psychotronic energy today than usual. I recommend that you direct it towards the fridge. There’s something alive in there.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You will stack furniture in the bathtub, today. That’s just the sort of thing you would do, your friends will say.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Your plans to take over the world move forward to the next stage, soon, right on schedule. What you need now is a hunch-backed henchperson with pale protruding eyes. Fortunately for you, a suitable candidate will soon show up at your door, dressed as a peanut.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
A coworker is going to steal one of your best ideas and claim it as his own. That’s about what you should expect, though, from a cow “orker”.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Work has been stressful for you lately, and you’re not likely to see much change for the better unless you take matters into your own hands. This is a situation that calls for subtle guerilla tactics. Your best bet is to get up really early, and bake fresh cinnamon rolls to bring to work. Studies show that it’s really, really hard to dislike someone who gives you a fresh homemade cinnamon roll. Career advancement never tasted so good!

Your Daily Cosmic Calendar for May 17th

Earlier this month in the calendar, I reminded you that solar and planetary alignments don’t just disappear in one day. Therefore, several of yesterday’s key aspects are still sending thunderbolts into human territory as well as the kingdoms of nature. For example, Wednesday’s Jupiter-Saturn, Sun-Pluto, Mars-Pluto, Ceres-Neptune, and Mars-Chiron cosmic associations remain white-hot influences in all of our lives, but they are operating more in the background or in the subconscious universe. In the meantime, we now have several other celestial-body interactions – notably Mercury making an inspirational, 72-degree link to Neptune (12:28AM PDT), Mercury uniting with Ceres (1:04AM PDT), Pallas trine to Juno (11:03AM PDT), the Moon beginning a void lunar uncertainty cycle in Aries at 2:45PM PDT that lasts until 3:04AM PDT tomorrow, Jupiter making a caustic, 135-degree tie to underworld-ruling Pluto (4:23PM PDT), and Pallas entering Aries (9:19PM PDT). We have less interplanetary fisticuffs than yesterday, but like Wednesday the King of the Gods – Jupiter – appears to be in another foul mood. First Jupiter was throwing a haymaker at Saturn (yesterday) and now the largest planet in the solar system is casting aspersions in the direction of distant Pluto. Over the next year, Jupiter will wreak some of his playful havoc on earthlings nine more times as he satisfies the urge to reveal his stature as ringleader of the gods and goddesses who used to rule Ancient Roman society. Whether he deserves our prayers, deference, and rituals of incense burning now is a questionable matter. Overall, there is a similar feeling today as it existed yesterday that you are better off being ultra-careful on the investment and career horizons. Playing with cosmic fire can backfire with nasty consequences. The addition of a fairly long void-of-course Moon is the reminder to be seen, but not heard.