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the daily humorscopes for tuesday, may 29, 2012

the daily humorscope 

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Someone you’ve never met will come up and nudge you today. You don’t have to stand for that, though, and you should just nudge them right back.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Good day to buy chocolate for someone you love.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Excellent day to make strange “hooting” noises, while hiding in the bushes.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Tomorrow is a good day to wear your lucky Rocketship underwear. Try not to leap into rooms while shouting “Hark!” however.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Benjamin Franklin said: “If you would like to know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.” You’re not sure this is an accurate indicator of the value of things, however. At least not after having tried to borrow a toothbrush…
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Excellent time to race one of those little Shriners cars up and down the sidewalk twenty thousand million times. Also, you’ll meet an angel, but don’t let on that you know who she really is.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
As a joke, you should put an 8-foot-tall mucous-covered “egg” in your friend’s basement. Then, when he or she goes down to do a load of laundry…
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Not a good time to go forth and conquer. Try going fifth, and hover in the background.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
That bad smell in the closet will get stronger. Time to investigate.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Beware of Doug.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
You are about to have an idea of almost mind-boggling brilliance. Try to remain calm.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
While poring over some old historical documents, you will discover that the Norman invasion was actually supposed to be the “Bob” invasion, but Norman stole the credit for it. Sadly, it will turn out to be too late to change it now.

Your Daily General Horoscopes for May 27th

Aries

The Sun and Mercury align in your communication sector today, the smartest, most intellectually savvy and articulate area of your chart. This creates an opportunity to take your communications to a whole new level, at a time when Venus is also working to give your heart a voice. With some romantic and playful vibes in the air today, this gives you a chance to take time out to connect and also to have some fun with it.

Taurus

Just a day after the Sun’s alignment with forces on the income front and opposition with forces on the financial front came to a head, Mercury reaches the same point today. While this will keep any financial tension high it also gives you the insight and the smart head for money to gain a real sense of where things stand on both fronts. With Jupiter just over 2 weeks away from your income sector it’s time to get serious, for with a lot on offer a lot more is expected from you.

Gemini

Just as you may be experiencing some personal and/or relationship tension, creating the kind of wake up calls you would normally get from a Full Moon, but without the emotional intensity, the Sun and Mercury align in your sign. This allows you to see right through any pressure with your eyes open, your mind sharp and the communication lines open. You’re now able to turn this into an opportunity to gain a whole new level of authenticity, on both the personal and relationship fronts.

Cancer

As the Sun and Mercury align in an intuitive part of your chart, where most of the action is now taking place, this creates a powerful cosmic shift, with Mercury and his intellectual savvy taking the lead. Mercury is due to return to your sign early next month, so this will not only see your mind become sharper today as you gain more mental clarity, but the focus shift more to the future. Spend some time at the drawing board today, with some good ideas being forged.

Leo

Having the Moon in your sign as the Sun and Mercury align in a social and serendipitous part of your chart is a real advantage, giving you a better read on the hunches that have the power to put you in the right place at the right time. There is a real sense of synchronicity in the air today that you’re able to tap into and if life has been too professionally focused of late, then this gives you a chance to make up for lost time.

Virgo

Normally when the Sun makes his annual visit to your career sector, for the month that he’s here and the few weeks either side that Mercury and Venus may also be here, it’s hard to take your professional hat off over the weekend. That is normally okay, but considering that you now have continuous planetary activity through to mid 2013 that’s too long to go without taking time out. Actively work to create the right work/life balance.

Libra

This has been a big week, with lots of planetary shifts and changes and a lot of powerful dynamics in play. With a new sense of adventure in the air but also a reminder of a new professional surge ahead, taking time out over the weekend to embrace a sense of adventure or to catch up with friends is a must. There is something special in the air today, with adventurous as well as social and serendipitous vibes in play.

Scorpio

By this time next month there will be planetary activity in your career sector, for the first time this year and as the Moon makes one of his last visits before then, this gives you a chance to sharpen your professional instincts and look ahead. It may be the weekend but chances are you not only have your professional hat on but your money hat as well, looking for your next challenge on the career and income fronts.

Sagittarius

Having the Moon in an adventurous part of your chart over the weekend gives you a chance to blow off some steam, after what is likely to have been an intense week. You’re moving into some defining professional weeks where you need to be on your toes and that can’t happen if you’re always on the clock, 24/7. If you want to ensure you move into your new working week on top of your game, take time out to embrace a sense of adventure while you can.

Capricorn

It may be the weekend, but with the Moon making one of his last visits to your financial sector before the first planetary activity for the year and the Sun and Mercury aligned in your work sector, chances are you’ll have both your work and your money hats on today. On the money front it’s all about listening to your financial instincts and imagination, while on the work front it’s about having your eyes open and your thinking cap on.

Aquarius

Having the Moon in your relationship sector as the Sun and Mercury not only spend their first weekend in your romantic sector but align, puts the focus on your personal life today. It was just 6 days ago that a solar eclipse opened the door to new beginnings, when it came to matters of the heart and just 11 days since Venus, planet of love opened the door to second chances. It’s your relationships that get to benefit from this today.

Pisces

You have a bit of a conundrum on your hands today, for while your imagination and your intuition is likely to be drawn to matters on the work front, with a sense that you’re nearing a new turning point on the professional front, it’s home and family matters that are likely to dominate. It may be the weekend but chances are you will have your work hat on, even if it’s just to listen to your intuition. Don’t let this be at the expense of home and family matters, which also need your attention and focus.

Your Daily Love & Romance Horoscopes for May 27th

Aries

As the Moon makes one of his last visits to your romantic sector before things start to move for the year, you have a chance to listen to your heart and pick up on any important clues and hunches. By this time next month the most romantically charged months of 2012 will be underway, with some clues today for what might lie ahead.

Taurus

The Moon’s return to your romantic sector tomorrow will kick off an important few days on the romantic front and a chance to really fire up your romantic passions. Until then keep an open heart, realising that it’s not your job to tell your heart how it should feel, rather its job to tell you how it feels.

Gemini

As the Moon makes his last visit to your communication sector before a lunar eclipse in your relationship sector in just 8 days time, this gives you a chance to clear the air. The key to turning what is often a wild card on the relationship front into an opportunity to turn things around, is having the communication lines open.

Cancer

As the Sun and Mercury align in an intuitive part of your chart, this gives you a chance to give old feelings being stirred a voice and the past in general, giving you a chance to clear the air. With communication becoming far more important in the future, especially on the relationship front, work today to give the past and unsaid words a voice.

Leo

The closer you get to a lunar eclipse in your romantic sector in just 8 days time, the more you’re likely to sense that something is building and with a tendency to want to jump the gun and take control. Yet this is one time when you need to take your hands off the wheel and let fate take over instead, no matter how scary that might be.

Virgo

On both the romantic and relationship fronts there is a surprising lack of urgency and also a chance to focus more on the big picture. On both fronts it’s now become more about the journey, which will always have ups and downs. So long as you focus on the big picture, any ups and downs along the way will only make your relationships and love life richer.

Libra

There is a sense of synchronicity and of romantic adventure in the air this week, with a chance to challenge your excuses. At the same time that intuitive lunar vibes stimulate the hunches that have the power to put you in the right place at the right time, it’s your heart’s willingness to take a risk that will encourage you to seize the moment.

Scorpio

Throughout what has been a defining few months on the relationship front your relationships have had to compete with a busy focus, but that is life and you can’t put your relationships in a bubble. Work now to prepare your relationships for the real world, where they can’t get 24/7 attention, yet are strong enough that they don’t need it.

Sagittarius

This time last week Venus, planet of love was on her own in your relationship sector and in her first week in retrograde motion was focused exclusively on the past. Now a week on the Sun and Mercury are not only here but they’re aligned, with your eyes and the communication lines now open. All of a sudden you’re able to see where you’ve been and where you’re going.

Capricorn

As Jupiter spends his penultimate weekend in your romantic sector there is a real need to make love a priority. This time last week the Sun, Mercury and Moon were all here to help lucky Jupiter to get things up to speed, but over the last 6 days they all left and it’s time to bring things home. Dare to believe in love the way that it believes in you.

Aquarius

The Moon’s monthly visit to your relationship sector is usually more about wake up calls and drawing your attention to the things you’ve been sweeping under the carpet. But with Venus in retrograde motion in your romantic sector and the Sun and Mercury aligned here, the romantic focus is overwhelming. This is going to make it hard for all but the most obvious relationship wake up calls to get through.

Pisces

With Mars, planet of passion coming into his own in your relationship sector and some of the best relationship weeks of the year stretching out in front of you and new doors about to open on the romantic front, your future is all of a sudden looking up. Maybe the challenges of recent weeks and months was worth it after all, leaving you ready for what’s coming up.

Your Daily Chinese Zodiac Horoscopes for May 27th

Rabbit

Friends and companions suddenly “get” what you have been trying to do the past little while. It is best if you are low-key about your own role, let them take credit for coming to the conclusion that you were right rather than saying “I told you so.”

Dragon

There are wonderful social opportunities for you today. You can make new and exciting friends, meet new people and enjoy the company of those who challenge you intellectually and emotionally. Someone in your family may introduce you to someone new as well.

Snake

You are getting more support and understanding from loved ones today. You may also be planning a vacation, and while everyone is feeling good you may have a better shot at getting them all to agree on an itinerary. Single folks may find trips lucky in more ways than one.

Horse

You will be spending some time reflecting on life’s deeper meaning today. Something will put your mental energies in the direction of religion, birth, death, renewal, taxes and the general meaning of life. You are re-evaluating who you are in terms of what you believe.

Sheep

If you are still single, you might not be for very much longer. You have an opportunity to meet someone new and interesting today, perhaps in the workplace or through a business contact. Keep an open mind, they are likely to come across as a little spacey at first.

Monkey

You have a healing moment today. It may come at the workplace, at home, or even on the road at some point in between. You will realize that you are a better person than you thought, that there is forgiveness in the world, that there are good people you can count on.

Rooster

Something you enjoy as entertainment might make a good financial investment. You may get a good bargain in the stock market, or at the local mega-electronics store. Either way, look for bargains that help you better organize or order your lifestyle.

Dog

You may find money around your home, be given money by a loved one or relative, or find out that your home is worth more than you thought. You have a good idea for a renovation or home improvement that could brighten up your home and increase its value.

Pig

You may be called on or asked by a coworker or employer to come into the office to do some more paperwork. The answer should be along the lines of “Gee, I am driving way out in the countryside with my family and that would be just about impossible.” That is provided your cell-phone is even charged …

Rat

Some recent financial troubles could turn out to have a silver lining. That electronic device or toy you or your partner wanted has suddenly gone on sale, or a friend has a used one they are looking to unload, or perhaps someone is willing to trade.

Ox

Ooh la la! You are hot stuff today and you can’t resist showing off. If you are single, get out and spend some money today. Book stores, libraries and coffee houses offer wonderful opportunities to meet other people and make new connections.

Tiger

You may have a profound spiritual or psychic experience today, one that leads you to new friendships, to a new social circle whose influence or knowledge could be a significant benefit to you, both spiritually and in more down to earth ways.

the daily humorscopes for sunday, may 27th

the daily humorscope 

Sunday, May 27, 2012

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Someone will drone on and on, today. Try using psychic powers to make their underwear ride up. Even if it doesn’t work, your look of intense concentration may make them self-conscious.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
As Buckaroo Banzai said, “No matter where you go, there you are.” Oddly, this will not be entirely the case for you, today.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Deny everything.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Good day to take up knitting, on horseback. Everyone needs an adventure.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Excellent day to make strange mouth noises, particularly in a crowded elevator.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
It’s about time you became better acquainted with mustard. Get yourself 7 different kinds of mustard, and try them with oven baked home fried potatoes, or in sandwiches with good bread and fresh vegetables and some excellent Swiss cheese. My granddaddy Stonebender always used to say “Take a big enough bite of strong mustard, and your other problems will seem insignificant.”
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You are having a serious problem. Your only hope at this point is to consult a reputable florist. You will find them in the Yellow Pages, under “Florists, Reputable”.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You will soon learn to fear and loath the word “diaper”. Don’t know why.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Today you will turn over a new leaf. Good for you! We were all getting a little tired of you, you know, as you were.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
People around you are starting to look a bit complacent. Good day to adopt a haunted expression and carry a large ball of aluminum foil.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
The bad news is, you’re competing for that new job with a Hindu goddess. The good news is, if you think YOU have trouble figuring out what to do with your hands during an interview…
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You will come across a matchbook that will change your life. Inside the cover it will say “You too can be a criminal mastermind!”

Your Daily General Horoscopes for May 26th

Aries

As you work to bring things home on the income front and up to speed on the work front, take the time to deal with any work/life balance issues, especially as you’re heading into some of the busiest and most driven weeks of the year. While you’re a lot more aware of where the money is and you’re a lot more savvy when it comes to where and how you channel your time and energy, it can’t be at the expense of also having a life.

Taurus

For the second time in as many years but for the last time for another 2 decades, the Sun aligns with the South Node in your income sector and moves into opposition with the North Node in your financial sector. This is likely to create some financial tension, but also the clarity to see things clearly. You’re in the early phase of a period of massive income opportunities, with a few timely wake up calls not going astray.

Gemini

It’s by keeping it real and working to ensure that the communication lines are open, that you’ll turn what could be an intense day on both the personal and relationship fronts, into an opportunity for a breakthrough. You’re just 5 days into your new solar year and already what may have passed as enough, okay or good enough in the past is no longer going to cut it. This is destined to be a phenomenal year for you and the bar has been raised across the board.

Cancer

You have already begun the wind down of your current solar year and your focus is already shifting inwards. It’s because heart and mind are also engrossed in this and is giving you access to a clear sense of hindsight and foresight that a lot of things are starting to make sense. If you find that you need to spend more time alone and in contemplation, don’t feel that you’re losing your edge, for you have begun a valuable period of re evaluation.

Leo

Over the course of the last 5 days first the Sun and then Mercury left your career sector and moved to a more social part of your chart and as a result the dynamics of your life have shifted dramatically. Until now your professional life has overwhelmed everything else, yet as it eases back there is a need to both hold onto your professional edge while embracing this more social era. It’s by listening to your instincts that you’ll get the balance right.

Virgo

The Moon’s return to an intuitive part of your chart today is a case of good timing, for it comes just as any work/life balance pressures are likely to come to a head. You’re in the early days of a phenomenal professional comeback and turnaround and your instincts will be telling you that this is important. Yet these very forces go head to head with forces on the home front today, with a chance to look behind what’s pushing any buttons and why.

Libra

As the Moon wraps up his last visit to your career sector before things start to move from early next month, hold onto the professional instincts this leaves you with and to any buttons this pushed. It’s any work/life balance issues that have come to a head over the last few days that you’re able to look back on and get a better understanding of, while you still have time to tweak things before life becomes more professionally focused again.

Scorpio

Just 5 days after the Sun returned to your financial sector and since the solar eclipse on the same day not only opened new doors but shone the light on the road ahead, he reaches a point today where there might be some intensity or even some financial pressure. This is simply forces on the income and financial fronts bumping into each other, with some jostling required to get the right fit and balance.

Sagittarius

You’ve reached a point in the year where relationship forces are already starting to dominate and this will only increase over the coming weeks, with a call to work now to ensure that you have the right balance between your personal and relationship needs. While you need to invest into your relationships what you need back you also need to remain true to yourself. If you neglect to look after you, both you and your relationships will eventually suffer.

Capricorn

It is hard to believe that the Sun only returned to your work sector 5 days ago, but since then the Moon has been and gone, you’ve experienced a solar eclipse and Mercury has returned, giving you the intellectual savvy to work smarter. With the doors to second chances already open and even more new doors due to open in the coming weeks, you’ve reached a point where you need to slow down and just take it all in.

Aquarius

As the Moon wraps up his last visit to your work sector before the first round of planetary activity for the year, hold onto the intuitive insights and hunches this leaves you with, without feeling tempted to over think things. You have another 13 days before new doors open and while you have enough insight to start lining up at the right doors, you won’t know more than you do now before they actually open.

Pisces

Just 9 days before a lunar eclipse in your career sector is destined to bring anything currently building on the professional front to a head or to a tipping or turning point, a mix of developments today give you a chance to start lining up. On one hand the Moon’s return to your work sector will sharpen your instincts and provide some timely hunches and clues, while some work/life balance pressure provides some timely wake up calls and a chance to tweak any balance issues.

Your Daily Love & Romance Horoscopes for May 26th

Aries

After so much focus on your relationship and especially on working to ensure that the communication lines are open, it’s the Moon that offers some light relief today and the timing is spot on. It’s the Moon’s return to your romantic sector today that sets the scene for a romantically charged weekend, especially if you listen to and follow your heart.

Taurus

While the second half of 2012 is destined to become more relationship focused, the spirit of romance will never entirely die down, especially if you’re willing to engage your romantic passions now. There is a call for a more fearless approach to love, refusing to hold back out of fear of failure.

Gemini

Don’t be surprised or alarmed by any relationship pressure today, but don’t ignore it either. It’s today that the Sun reaches a point where he’s challenging your relationship intentions and providing some timely reality checks and wake up calls. Refuse to sweat the small stuff or to stick your head in the sand.

Cancer

Because Venus, planet of love has put her return to your sign on hold, not returning until August, this has given you more time to both make peace with old ghosts and to prepare for some major romantic developments in the second half of the year. One of the key areas of preparing is working on your sense of confidence, which is more important than you realise.

Leo

Chances are the pressure and doubts you may have been feeling earlier in the week will return today, a little sharper but also in a way that is more transparent. This gives you a chance to look behind what’s pushing any buttons, creating any doubts or roadblocks and establish why, aware that you can’t change what you can’t see.

Virgo

You’re in the early days of a massive professional resurgence and you have already passed what you would normally expect, with even more on the way. Already you need to be protecting your personal life, doing what you can to address any work/life balance issues and to create the right boundaries and priorities.

Libra

Normally Venus, planet of love will spend just under 4 weeks in an adventurous part of your chart, creating both a desire and an opportunity to move out of a romantic rut. This year Venus is here for 4 months and she’s not taking no for an answer, even opening the door to second chances and an opportunity to make up for lost time.

Scorpio

Over the course of the last 5 days the Sun, Moon and Mercury have all left your relationship sector and the love gods have put all their cards on the table. Even the Moon won’t return to your relationship sector before Jupiter leaves, but with luck still on your side it’s up to you now to invest everything you can into creating something sustainable.

Sagittarius

While you have Venus, planet of love in retrograde motion in your relationship sector and therefore focused on the past and the Sun and Mercury in direct motion and therefore focused on the future, they’re more united than this might seem. For they are in fact all moving towards each other, giving you a sense that something special is coming together.

Capricorn

As the Moon leaves your relationship sector he wouldn’t be doing his job if this didn’t push some buttons, yet over the last few days this has provided the wake up calls needed to ensure you’re not asleep at the wheel. With new doors due to open on the relationship front in just 9 days time, pay attention to all wake up calls, not just those you want to hear.

Aquarius

As the Moon returns for his monthly visit to your relationship sector he’s met by a wall of overwhelming romantic forces, which he has to fit around. While this will shift some of your focus to your relationships the forces now at work on the romantic front are just too strong, giving you a chance to inject more romance into your relationships.

Pisces

As the Moon wraps up his last visit to your romantic sector in just 13 days time, he’ll be leaving you wanting more, which is what will keep you awake and alert. With the most active romantic months of the year less than 2 weeks away you can’t afford to be asleep at the wheel, with a chance also to deal with any work life balance issues.

the daily humorscopes for saturday, may 26th

the daily humorscope

Saturday, May 26, 2012

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Today will be a complete waste of time. You will at least learn to spell “equaminity.”..er…”equanimbity”…no…hmmm. You will learn to spell a word like that, today.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Your butler will quit, today, in a tiff. Since you can only view gif and jpeg, though, it will be quite some time before you realize that.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Today you will become stuck in a wicker chair. This is what the British refer to as a “sticky wicker”, as it is an unfortunately common occurrence in their climate.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Good day to take up crime fighting, as a hobby. First, make yourself a really awesome leotard and cape, and maybe some sort of unusual headgear. That’s how most of them get started.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Time to start looking for a new car. Try to find one with more personality, this time! (And less of a sense of humor.)
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Today you will discover a little book called “1001 Names For Your Pet”. You should probably name your next pet either “Pope John Paul” or “No Clothes On”. That way you can say things like “Pope John Paul peed on the rug, again” or “I’m going for a walk with No Clothes On.”
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Today you will finally reach the breaking point, since that incessant pounding from your new neighbour’s place is driving you nuts! You will storm over there, but what you find will be very bad news indeed. Your new neighbour is the Energizer Bunny.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Good day to stand on the sidewalk near a tall building, and stare up at the roof. You’ll meet some interesting people that way.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Good day to act extremely childish.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
You will discover a small flaw in your character. Meditation and Ginseng tea might clear it up. Or if not that, then a few gallons of cheap wine and an adventure involving a cart filled with garbage, some gold coins, and a goat.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
You will become fascinated by the unlikely use of the same word to mean very different things. For example, what is the link between “seasons” as changes in the weather and “seasons” as in what you do to food? Or for that matter, why are Fall and Spring named for action verbs, and not Summer and Winter? Shouldn’t those be called something like Wiggle and Shiver?
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You’ve been secretly considering joining a support group for people with your affliction. That is a good idea, but you’ll never do it if you don’t work up to it gradually. A good place to start might be to subscribe to a magazine on the topic, such as “Nose Bleeders Quarterly” or “The Nose Troubles Times”.

Your Daily Horoscopes for May 25th

We think that more data brings us closer to the truth today, but it’s challenging to synthesize all the information. Clever Mercury in noisy Gemini enables us to handle the overload, even if there are unresolved contradictions. However, Mercury’s conflicting square with surreal Neptune fuzzes out facts while the sensitive Cancer Moon encourages intuition over analysis. Clarity begins to return as the Moon slips into expressive Leo at 6:11 pm EDT.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Sometimes you’re so confident that you have absolute faith in a wildly unrealistic idea. Ironically, reality seems to encourage you to turn up your volume even higher now. Be careful; if you’re in need of a reality check, someone may come along and pull the plug to teach you a lesson. Instead of responding defensively today, be quiet and pay attention to your own feelings. Rushing off to start another project will only distract you from what you need to learn in the present moment.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You may struggle with your self-esteem today, especially if you receive mixed messages about your work from your boss. You aren’t clear about what is expected of you and you might just want to sidestep the whole issue. However, it’s healthier to talk about your concerns with coworkers or friends. Once you make some sense out of the situation you’ll be able to keep moving forward.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Your current indecision is a symptom of a deep uncertainty about your goals. You may be quite confused, yet others cannot see the crossed signals you’re receiving from within your own subconscious. Pretending that you have answers will only alienate you further from those who could be allies now. Find the courage to be honest today; revealing your vulnerability to a trusted friend can be a catalyst to deepen a relationship and bring clarity back into your life.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You feel a flood of powerful emotions washing over you today with the Moon back in your watery sign. The waves of feeling are strong enough to take you for a ride, whether or not you’re a willing passenger. There is nothing to be gained by fighting the currents or trying to control your changing moods. Go with the flow, allowing the tides to take you where they will.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Although you might be sparkling on the surface, there’s something brewing today underneath your apparent display of warmth. Your insecurities are gnawing at you from within and they just won’t leave you alone now. Your sixth sense tells you that something is preventing you from living up to your potential, yet you cannot quite put your finger on where this feeling is coming from. Don’t run from the truth; seek clarity by practicing meditation or engaging in a deep discussion with a close friend.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You are the Champion of Critical Thinking, but it may not feel that way to you now. You like everything in neat and tidy compartments (even within your mind). However, conflicting thoughts draw you back and forth, making it difficult to find resolution to important matters today. Your mind is like a camera that won’t focus sharply and the picture remains blurry no matter how you alter your perspective. No struggle is needed; free your imagination from all the rules for just one day and relax.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You have lots of good ideas about something exciting that you want to do, but it’s difficult for a plan to get traction at this time. You can feel the inner tension as you try to resolve a conflict between your hypersensitive feelings and the overall situation at work. You may be called on to nurture someone who you secretly think should be taking care of his or her own business. But you might choose to ride to the rescue now, even if you must temporarily put your needs on hold.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

The watery Cancer Moon instinctively feels comforting, giving you permission to muck about in the feeling realms today. You’re like a beautiful rhino, enjoying playtime in the swamp. You can bask in the added intensity of today’s experiences, but they lose something in the translation when you try to share them with others. There’s nothing wrong with keeping some secrets to yourself until the Sun comes out tomorrow.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

It’s frustrating that you cannot easily resolve an emotional conflict today. Your feelings are tugging at your pants leg like the proverbial persistent puppy trying to tell you something important. Nevertheless, your resistance is wearing down and you’re more willing to compromise now. Just make sure you’re not giving in to avoid the truth. Keep in mind that your desires won’t really fade until you take the time to acknowledge them.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Sometimes you must drop what you are doing and place another person’s agenda ahead of yours. Someone may reveal an emotional dilemma today that requires you to jump in and engage your feelings, even though they aren’t very practical. Don’t worry about solving anyone’s problems now; you can be a good friend simply by showing up and responding in the present moment.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Radical ideas are popping into awareness today faster than you can deal with them. You’re more inventive and clever now, but some of your brilliant ideas might not hit the nail right on the head. Letting go of the craziest thoughts that would rightly be criticized by others is a good way to minimize the noise so you can focus on what’s most important.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Mercury the Communicator is stressing your key planet Neptune, and you may feel like you are looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. Everything appears tinted by your imagination, as if you’re seeing things through a filter that blurs difficult perceptions. Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean that they’re non-existent. Ask a friend for a reality check if something looks particularly amazing or terribly bad. Remember that what you see today is not what you get

Your Weekend Lunar Love Horoscope for May 25 – 27

Weekend Love: Lunar Love

by Jeff Jawer

Hearts Take Center Stage

May 25 – 27

It’s showtime this weekend, and the curtain goes up when the Moon dances into dramatic Leo early on Friday evening. This is a time to express your creativity and your feelings without restraint. It’s definitely more interesting to go too far than to play it safe and hold back emotions. Indulging in a little fantasy is perfect as communicative Mercury crosses paths with imaginative Neptune. Reality takes a temporary backseat to living in the moment without concern for what tomorrow will bring. It’s like Las Vegas is everywhere and everyone can leave behind adult responsibilities to play with heartfelt abandon. Of course, you shouldn’t take what you hear or say too seriously in these ungrounded circumstances.

Dressing to impress on Saturday, almost as if you’re a performer, puts stars in peoples’ eyes and smiles on their faces. Being generous is a wonderful way to please a partner, so open your heart and wallet to make this a special time. Making memories is more important than saving money or saving face. The more love and affection that’s given, the more you’ll get back in return.

This joyous influence continues until late Sunday night when the Moon moves into pragmatic Virgo and minds shift away from play and toward the workweek that lies ahead.

Your Daily Love & Romance Horoscopes for May 25th

Aries

It’s been 6 months since the Sun, Mercury and Venus and therefore your heart, mind and soul have been on the same page, but it’s where they’ve united that’s important for you. It’s on the communication front that things are coming together and it’s your relationships that will benefit from communication lines that now run into the past and future.

Taurus

What created such up and down months on the romantic front, with some real highs and lows that has created a real roller coaster ride, is the challenges and support Mars, planet of passion has received in his journey through your romantic sector. All those ups and downs are behind you, with a chance now to start fighting for what you want from love.

Gemini

Saturn reaches a point today where he’s just a month to the day away from turning direct, with the coming month his last in retrograde motion in your romantic sector for another 30 years. Throughout that time Venus, planet of love will remain in retrograde motion in your sign, giving your heart a guided tour down love’s memory lanes.

Cancer

As the Moon wraps up his monthly visit to your sign, he’ll know that when he returns Mercury, planet of communication will be here and the lifeline this will throw to your relationships. With communication destined to become more important in the future, start the way you intend to go on.

Leo

You’re just 10 days away from a potentially game changing lunar eclipse in your romantic sector, especially as it’s the last before the North Node leaves in August. It’s where a natural current is guiding things in the right direction that you’re approaching an important fork in the river of love, which at this point is still out of sight.

Virgo

This is not usually a time of year that you would expect relationship pressures and challenges, yet that’s what you’ve experienced over recent months. This is something that usually happens in the month or two around your birthday month, but flushing things out earlier in the year has allowed you to get everything out in the open, with a rebuilding now possible.

Libra

When Venus, planet of love returned to an adventurous part of your chart early last month, she was on her own and it stayed that way until just 4 days ago when the Sun returned. Now even Mercury is on board and with heart, mind and soul now committed to approaching both love and life in a more adventurous way, anything is possible.

Scorpio

Jupiter, planet of luck is back where he was on the 5th March, on his own in your relationship sector. However, a lot of water has passed under the bridge since then and where back then you were waiting for a push to bring things up to speed, that push has been and gone. With Jupiter leaving in 2 ½ weeks time, put everything you have into everything you do, into putting your relationships on track.

Sagittarius

In what is an important and undoubtedly a game changing relationship month Mercury, planet of communication will only spend 15 days here. As he spends his first full day in your relationship sector Mercury is embarking you on a speed course on how to open the communication lines and on what to do and what not to do.

Capricorn

When Jupiter leaves your romantic sector on the 12th June there’ll be no more planetary activity here until 2013, with the planet of luck himself not back for another 12 years. But by then the first planetary activity for the year in your relationship sector will have kicked off and already there is a chance to balance your romantic and relationship focus, with the love gods already beginning the handover.

Aquarius

The Sun’s return to your romantic sector 4 days ago kicked off a game changing month on the romantic front, a month that will end with a second New Moon. Venus will spend the whole of that month in retrograde motion here, with the door open to second chances at a time when your luck in love is destined to radically transform.

Pisces

With no planetary activity in your romantic sector since September 2011, all you’ve had to keep things going is the Moon’s monthly visits and the intuitive read this gives you of your heart. Yet as the Moon makes his last visit before the first planetary activity in 8 months, there is a sense of urgency to the wake up calls he’ll be evoking.

Your Daily Horoscopes for Thursday, May 24th

We are able to think faster and engage in clever repartee now that communicator Mercury slides into interactive Gemini. The lingering effects of several planets in practical Earth signs is fading quickly with four planets moving through intellectual Air signs. Unfortunately, it may be nearly impossible to keep our thoughts focused for the next few weeks as the planetary emphasis on flighty Gemini increases our curiosity about everything.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You may have a conflict between your desire to hang out with friends and the simplistic need to stay true to yourself. Although you really want the camaraderie that comes from being with your peers, you might not be willing to risk your emotional security by spending too much time away from your home and family. You could try to rationalize your behavior, but ultimately you believe it’s easier to hold yourself back. Fortunately, if you stop struggling you can get the most out of the present moment.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Oddly enough, you have very little resistance to change now, yet too much flexibility can get in the way of your happiness. You must take the credit or the blame for your present condition, but don’t waste your energy regretting previous actions or trying to complete unfinished business. Don’t wait for a better time to take action; this is it. Let go of your past so you can embrace your future.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Your ruling planet Mercury returns home and this may stimulate a higher level of mental activity. Unfortunately, the hectic pace of your life is picking up even further, even if you’re already busy. It’s best now to take the sweet moments as they come, for it might be difficult to make a decision and then stick to it. Take time to think about what you could learn. Pursue your interests without committing to any one particular path just yet.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You can feel the tension build as the necessity of change confronts your current plans. Take whatever time today you need to consider what you really want to do, or you could end up making the situation even worse. You might not be able to separate fantasy from reality now, so avoid making any significant decisions for a couple of days. There’s nothing wrong with waiting until you clearly know how you feel before making your next move.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Your social life is re-energized by talkative Mercury’s move into your 11th House of Groups. Instead of being overly concerned with your personal calendar, use the next couple of days to increase your involvement with the larger problems of your community or even humanity itself. But remember there’s no right or wrong when it comes to your life path. Instead of worrying about trivial things now, just focus on alleviating the pain and suffering of someone close to you.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You may be temporarily distracted by one thing after another now that your ruling planet Mercury is in restless Gemini. But rather than trying to force an issue by placing yourself right in the middle of a complex situation, seek solitude instead. Relax your concentration and follow your thoughts wherever they may take you. Unfortunately, trying to constrain your mental process only leads to frustration. Combine tolerance and patience and you will find the right solution.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Loquacious Mercury joins the willful Sun and romantic Venus in your 9th House of Adventure. You might want to escape and take an extended vacation now. Unfortunately, you could use up all your time and energy talking about your ideas instead of actually going anywhere. Don’t just get lost in your dreams; make practical travel plans that can bend a bit with the changing circumstances of your life.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Messenger Mercury joins the cosmic party that’s already spicing up your 8th House of Intimacy and Transformation. You might be confused by someone’s inconsistent feelings, especially since they are slippery and may morph into something else if you attempt to address them. You could even make an error in judgment while assessing the current situation and then take an ineffective course of action. Don’t waste time worrying about what went wrong; just rethink the problem and try again.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You may feel real conflict between your work duties and the personal circumstances of your life. Your rational mind is quite purposeful now, but don’t overlook the needs of your friends and partners, too. However, don’t be fooled by someone’s emotional appeal unless it’s also based upon facts. Be gentle with your own self-criticism, even if you must re-evaluate your position again and again.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Although you want to find time today for personal enjoyment, there’s too much on your plate now even for a quick escape. Practical responsibilities might require that you reschedule your playtime. Cover as much ground as you can on all your projects, but don’t worry if you have unfinished business when the workday is over. Just make sure to take care of your need for pleasure before the day is done.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

There may be little you can do to prevent someone from going through his or her own discomfort now when adapting to a new situation. You are usually comfortable with the notion of making big changes in your life when necessary. However, just the thought of having to deal with a major shift might upset you today because of all the uncertainty in the air. Stay attuned to your own process and don’t project your fears on to anyone else.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

What worked well for you in the past isn’t necessarily useful now. Don’t try to hold on to memories that only bring you sadness. Let the thoughts bubble into consciousness one last time and then leave them in the past where they belong. Conjure up some of that famous Piscean compassion so you can judge yourself less harshly. Being kind to others starts with accepting who you are first.

Daily Love & Romance Horoscopes for May 24th

Aries

You’re just over a month away from the most romantic months of the year, with plenty of both new beginnings and second chances ahead. While the focus is still on your relationships and especially when it comes to ensuring that the communication lines are open, there is a chance today to focus on making your life as love friendly as possible.

Taurus

At the same time that Mercury, planet of communication leaves your sign, the Moon makes his last visit to your communication sector before the first planetary activity for the year. This is keeping the spirit of communication alive, something that will become increasingly important over the coming months.

Gemini

The key to making the most of the new doors opening on the personal front and the second chances on the romantic front, is confidence and daring to believe in yourself. Some of the most important romantic months in decades stretch out in front of you, with this last trip down love’s memory lane all about making sure nothing has been missed.

Cancer

While at the moment your romantic and relationship focus is on the past, that won’t always be the case, with a chance now to make sense of where you’ve been before moving on. If you find that there is some relationship pressure today, chances are it’s coming from the past and old triggers, with a chance to get behind what’s pushing old buttons and why.

Leo

Hold onto the relationship dreams and aspirations forged over recent years, knowing that there is no need to revise this to fit in with your current reality. In short, don’t be tempted to settle for less or assume that you’re aiming too high. Trust what your instincts are telling you, especially when it comes to what you know is possible.

Virgo

Don’t be surprised if you have your buttons pushed or there is some pressure or challenges on the romantic front today, for it’s simply the Moon doing his job. Once a month the Moon moves into opposition with Pluto, now in retrograde motion in your romantic sector, making sure that you’re not asleep at the wheel and that you’re keeping things real.

Libra

Your personal life is enjoying a respite from some busy and demanding times on the work front, but already your radar is picking up the next wave of professional influences, just over the horizon. This gives you time to safeguard the new sense of liberation being felt on the romantic and relationship fronts and to create the right boundaries to protect it.

Scorpio

Mercury’s departure from your relationship sector today wraps up his own short 15 day visit aimed at helping you to open the communication lines, but also puts your relationships themselves into a new mode. After some active months on the relationship front it’s time now to start wrapping things up, with communication essential.

Sagittarius

The Sun’s month long visit to your relationship sector is being bookended by a pair of New Moons and it’s during the 4 weeks that separate these New Moons that everything will change. You are now just days into a game changing month on the relationship front, with Mercury’s return today giving you a chance to open the communication lines.

Capricorn

Having the Moon in your relationship sector as Mercury leaves your romantic sector, gives you a chance to keep the focus on your personal life in what is a powerful professional week, but also gives you a sense of where you’re going. This is the Moon’s last visit to your relationship sector before things start to move on the relationship front and before romantic forces run their course.

Aquarius

Mercury’s return to your romantic sector today puts the Sun, Mercury and Venus on the same page for the first time since November 2011, with heart, mind and soul now able to commit to what is a game changing time on the romantic front. In just under 3 weeks time even Jupiter, planet of luck will get on board, with love gods pulling out the big guns.

Pisces

So far this year you’ve had Mars not only continuously in your relationship sector, but bringing a real mixed bag of opportunities and challenges, with no planetary activity in your romantic sector. That will change in just 15 days time and with the Moon making his last visit to your romantic sector before things start to move, take the time to listen to the intuitive read this gives you of your heart.

Daily Chinese Zodiac Horoscopes for May 24th

Rabbit

To keep your progress heading in the right direction in the work-career sector, it may be a good idea to carefully consider your words and ideas before sharing them right now. You may come across as impatient and pushy at the wrong time. Approach new partners and associates carefully.

Dragon

You’re going to be asking yourself that age-old question “What do I really want to do with my life?” The quest for meaning and purpose in your life will suddenly take on great importance and you’ll be stunned when you get the message “You must PLAY!”

Snake

You may have a disagreement with friends or loved ones about spirituality, religion or culture today. Your values are changing, and you may feel that your social circle is pressuring you to return to the fold, or at least appear to support the status quo.

Horse

You and your partner come back down to earth with a bit of a bump today. It’s the practical things, the little things, like paying the bills and getting the toys you wanted for the rec room that take your attention away from the fun and romance of life.

Sheep

You and your significant other will be discussing your health, well-being and lifestyle today. You may get some feedback you don’t like. Dietary restrictions or stricter exercise regimens are needed to get you on a healthier track, and your own mind and body will also be giving you that message.

Monkey

Avoid taking any unnecessary medications today. You may find yourself out together with friends when some undesirable effect kicks in – sleepiness most likely. You have to be careful when playing a new sport or being involved in any activity involving water.

Rooster

If you want to smooth over a rough patch with your parents, or your partner’s parents, the best way to do that is to find some gift or information related to the real problem – that long-standing medical or emotional problem of theirs. A treat of a day at a spa could work wonders on a cranky in-law.

Dog

You may have to decide whether or not to share what you know or keep your mouth shut. It may be prudent to keep quiet until you are sure that you have all the facts straight. You have an opportunity to make a positive difference, but must be tactful.

Pig

If you are feeling a strong impulse to spend today, don’t be anywhere near book stores, music stores or movie houses. Focus on investing in your future, in your long-term financial and career goals. Find ways to secure a foundation for the future.

Rat

If you want to take control in your family at present, you are going to have to act like a dictatorial warden in a madhouse. Everyone has dramatically opposed ideas about just about everything. Don’t take it too personally if no-one listens to you today.

Ox

Powerful spiritual insights and revelations are coming your way today. Just be aware that the insights you get mean that you are at the beginning of a new path, not at its apex. You are about to discover a whole new way of looking at the world.

Tiger

A friend or companion has put you into a frustrating position, but if you are patient, the whole muddle could turn around in your favor. While you are sorting out the issues, someone will pop by with some wonderful romantic gossip or flirtatious energy that picks you up again.

the daily humorscopes for thursday, may 24th

the daily humorscope 

Thursday, May 24, 2012 

 

 
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
An old flame will call today, and invite you to lunch. It’s actually a trick to try to get you involved with AmWay. Also, check page 5 of the newspaper for something you’ve been waiting for.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Today you will read a bit of Shakespeare, and just before you fall asleep, you will think: “A duck, by any other name, would smell as foul.” Never mix Shakespeare and chocolate icecream. The results can be a trifle unpredictable.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Today you will finally get around to exercising! Your cat will look at you like you’ve gone completely whacky. Don’t be intimidated, though — at least you never get distracted and forget that you’re holding your leg up behind your head.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Today is a good day to crash through the underbrush, making loud snorting sounds. Beware of poachers, however.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Good day to bring home a bag or two of live bugs.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Bad news: people think you’re becoming paranoid. Isn’t that just typical, though? I mean, they don’t even HAVE invisible malevolent air-squids spying on THEM, do they?
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Ever had one of those times when you ask someone “What are the crunchy things in the oatmeal?” and they say “Crunchy things?” Soon, you will.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
More fun with twine, today. Isn’t it great!?
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
In the grocery store, you will see quite a few people with infants in their shopping carts. Try though you might, however, you will not be able to find the bin with the children. Perhaps they’re sold out? Important Safety Tip: do not stop one of the women with an infant and ask her to show you where her baby came from.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
While looking through comparative salary figures, who will discover that the job of “Village Idiot”, in many metropolitan areas, pays better than that of the mayor. Don’t even consider a career change, though — it’s a lot harder that it sounds.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Good day to call an old friend, and reminisce. (It turns out to be much much harder to reminisce with a new friend.)
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Someone will ask “How are you?” for the millionth time. You should celebrate the occasion by having a speech prepared – something embarassingly intimate is usually best. “Glad you asked, Bob. I’m having a darned tough time getting rid of these pesky genital warts, for one thing…”

Your Daily Horoscopes for Wed., May 23rd

Our need for emotional security is strong today as the Moon enters sensitive Cancer at 7:31 am EDT. However, comfort is elusive as a dynamic square between the restless Gemini Sun and dreamy Neptune invites us to step away from our feelings and into our fantasies. Although artistic expression may be enhanced, we can easily get lost. Escaping reality is not a sensible strategy now; we are much better off seeking spiritual solutions to our malaise.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Your dilemma may be quite real today, even if you’re feeling sure of yourself. You think that you know what you want and it doesn’t seem too complicated. However, achieving satisfaction isn’t that easy because there’s a big difference between your personal goals and what others have to offer at this time. Your current happiness could depend on your willingness to modify your highest ideals with what is actually possible.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Your physical energy may be low today, leaving you feeling a bit discouraged. Perhaps the smartest thing you can do now is to simply take it easy. If you don’t have the drive to tackle a significant project, don’t waste too much time worrying about it. Your stamina will return soon enough, and in the meantime you can increase your chances for success by getting some much-needed rest.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

You are very aware that your emotions are affecting your productivity today, especially as your feelings change throughout the day. Your moods may continue to fluctuate, challenging you to maintain an even temper. You can minimize your frustration and avoid being overwhelmed by only taking on what you know you can finish. Limiting your goals now makes room for spiritual growth.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You may be hypersensitive today and feel under the weather for no particular reason. However, it’s crucial not to succumb to negativity since circumstances are probably not as bad as they currently seem. Above all, remain honest; any attempts to stretch the truth will likely backfire. However, sharing your fantasies with a trustworthy friend can be uplifting as long as you clearly differentiate your dreams from the facts.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

No matter how optimistic you feel, your usual demonstration of courage and vitality may be difficult to pull off today. Your positive energy isn’t as readily available now. Ironically, you can turn the day around by bringing your self-doubt right out into the open. When others realize that you don’t have all the answers, they’ll be more likely to offer a helping hand.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Although you may feel as if you are on information overload, it’s difficult to tell which data is useful and which is not. It might even be impossible to discern fact from fiction now. Naturally, you want to deal with the real world based upon objective truth; however, your confusion gets in the way of your progress today. If you soften your stance and don’t push for clarity, the haze will lift on its own.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You may become more optimistic and lighter on your feet as the day goes on. However, you also might grow more confused about love and romance. The problem is that you’re less sure about what’s real and what is imagined. Your thoughts come and go quickly now, so don’t worry if you can’t hold on to any of them. Attempting to control your mental process only brings frustration. Instead, float along with the currents and enjoy the day for whatever joy it brings.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Although you might believe that you can logically think your way through a current dilemma, reason seems to break down just as the solution comes into sight. For now, it’s practical reality versus creative imagination. It’s frustrating, but you cannot hold on to both sides at the same time. Give yourself permission to entertain your dreams today, for the real world will intervene when necessary to bring you back.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You are being flooded by images arising from your subconscious mind today. You may feel as if you’re being pushed to do something that doesn’t really make sense to you, but this is the nature of unconscious expression. Anxiety might arise from your current confusion; the more you try to figure out what’s happening, the farther away the answers seem. Don’t take your lack of clarity too seriously, for it will pass soon enough.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

People usually trust your answers because you have plenty of common sense and typically seem to know what to do. Now, however, you are less likely to be certain about what comes next. Your acute lack of confidence could lead you down the path of less resistance, which may not take you in your intended direction. The most important thing is to allow yourself the luxury of wasting time today, even if it feels counterproductive.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Although you may be quick to rise, dress and prepare for work, something still could be bothering you. You don’t know what’s expected of you today, but this can be a creative time if you figure out how to let go of the details for a while. If you refuse to give up control, you could inadvertently invite unnecessary irritation. However, remaining open to change can lead to rich and meaningful experiences.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

There’s no need to panic now, even if you don’t have a game plan in place. In fact, expressing your fears might just make matters worse today. Unfortunately, you’re not fully in control of your immediate environment; the more you try to make something go your way, the more resistance you encounter. Attempting to resolve an issue could make your frustration level soar, so just work through the uncertainty the best you can.

Your Daily Love & Romance Horoscopes for Wed., May 23rd

Aries

Let’s face it, you have already experienced more than your fair share of relationship challenges and pressures, not only over recent months but on and off over the last few years. But you really have turned a corner and where before there were roadblocks there is now nothing but support. Use the past to empower you, while the door is still open to second chances.

Taurus

With the second half of 2012 destined to become a lot more relationship focused, work now to ensure that the communication lines are open. It’s a growing sense of romantic confidence and a return of your romantic passions that is giving you the courage to speak out, letting others in.

Gemini

Venus, planet of love will remain in retrograde motion in your sign until later next month, due to turn direct just 3 days after Saturn turns direct in your romantic sector. Until then the door to the past and to second chances is open, while in every other aspect of your life the focus is on the future and all that it holds.

Cancer

The Moon is wrapping up his last visit to your communication sector before a very rare Venus eclipse here in just 2 weeks time, giving you an intuitive read on the romantic nostalgia in the air. With the past already coming alive this gives you a chance to get up close and personal with old ghosts, recognising where you need to let go.

Leo

While you have no planetary activity in your romantic sector you are not on your own, with the North Node creating a natural current that is drawing you towards the future and your full romantic potential. This makes it important to keep your romantic focus on the future and the road ahead, for that’s where the opportunities lie.

Virgo

It was just a week ago today that the last opposition played out between forces on the personal and relationship fronts, giving you a chance to get things out in the open. Since then things have eased back on the relationship front and your personal passions and confidence have bounced back, with a need to hold onto the lessons of the last few months.

Libra

It was 2 weeks ago to the day that Mercury, planet of communication left your relationship sector, wrapping up the most active and defining but also the most challenging relationship months of the year. Chances are you won’t be tested this way again for several years, making it important to hold onto the lessons learned and the communication lines this opened.

Scorpio

As Mercury, planet of communication spends his last full day in your relationship sector he knows it will be another 12 years before he’ll meet up with lucky Jupiter here again, giving you the confidence to put your heart on your sleeve and everything on the line. With luck on your side and the communication lines open, what have you got to lose?

Sagittarius

It was the Moon’s return to your relationship sector just hours behind the Sun that formed the unexpected solar eclipse 2 days ago, but as he wraps up his visit he not only knows he’ll return next month for a second New Moon, but that a lot will change between now and then. This makes it important to listen to your instincts, but also keep an open mind and heart.

Capricorn

While Mercury, planet of communication visits your romantic sector once a year, giving you a chance to give your heart a voice and put heart and mind on the same page, it’s been 12 years since he’s teamed up with lucky Jupiter and it will be another 12 years before he does again. This makes his last full day here even more important, with giving your heart a voice a must.

Aquarius

It was the Moon’s return to your romantic sector 2 days ago and alignment with the Sun that created the solar eclipse that both opened new doors and created a real tailwind. But this is also the Moon’s first visit to your romantic sector since Venus turned retrograde here, giving you an intuitive read on the old doors that opened just a week ago to the day.

Pisces

It was a week ago to the day that Mars, planet of passion and the warrior planet of the cosmos faced his final battle and his final opposition, but already things have moved on considerably. Not due to leave your relationship sector until early July, Mars’ passions and fighting spirit can now go into bringing your relationships up to speed.

Your Daily Chinese Zodiac Horoscopes for Wednesday, May 23rd

Rabbit

There is an opportunity for you to boost your career, but it may mean accepting changes in your lifestyle or place of residence. Trust your intuition when making major decisions involving your home or family. You will be your own best guide right now.

Dragon

Looks like you could be traveling, and while it’s not entirely unexpected, you may have been forced to make changes or speed up the schedule. You will find that travel agents and other “support staff” are helpful and can take down some roadblocks.

Snake

You have some planning to do for an upcoming day off, and you need to invest your time, attention, and financial resources into something that will both boost your spirits and get you active and out in the world. You may be tempted to buy a new computer game today.

Horse

You have wonderfully dreamy and romantic energy today, and while you are having a wonderful time, not everyone is happy for you. Someone in your family or circle of companions fears losing your attention or affection and are less supportive than you expected.

Sheep

You may be thinking about healthcare, wellness, or the lifestyle you favor at the moment when it dawns on you that you really need to spend more time in physical activity. A competitive sport could be a huge boost to your self-confidence too.

Monkey

You are going to be the center of attention today. People find you incredibly attractive, and you have a lot of physical energy to spare. The problem is that your intuition is not the best, and you could make some errors in judgement in the choice of a new mate or partner.

Rooster

You have a wonderful opportunity to help a loved one or family member to improve their wellness, fitness, lifestyle or health. You may be thinking of encouraging them to join you in a regular aerobics, fitness or yoga class, or present them with music or a video.

Dog

There is still a lot of chatter on your phone lines. Romantic contacts look positive, if somewhat erratic, but you have at least one friend who may be losing their grip on reality. Before you bring them down to earth, think of a more tactful way to say “get real”.

Pig

You may find that you have unusually good luck with money today. You may discover change in the laundry or win a small lottery sum, or it may just be that someone comes along with some incredibly good ideas or financial advice when it was most needed.

Rat

Keep pushing forward with your personal revolution. You have a lot of momentum and can accomplish a lot. Make sure you tend to your own personal needs though, make sure you get enough sleep. You don’t want to burn out. Keep your cool, your temper, and your drive under control. You can intimidate people today without meaning to, because you are such a powerhouse right now.

Ox

Your intuition will be sharper than normal today. You could actually have one of those strange psychic experiences people sometimes report, where they “just know” something good will happen to a loved one or relative, and it later turns out to be true.

Tiger

Your circle of friends may be expanding soon. An eclectic, unusual group of people may be crossing paths with the group of people you normally hang out with. When the collision of ideas finally dies down you may find that things have gotten a whole lot more interesting.