Day: January 29, 2012

10 Ways To Begin To Find Yourself Again (Codependency)

10 Ways To Begin To Find Yourself Again (Codependency)

  • Christy Diane Farr

“I’ve been reading your articles about codependency. You’re right, I don’t know myself anymore. I eat what my husband wants to eat. I go where my kids want or need to go. I even do a job I don’t love because my boss thought I’d be great at it, and I am but what about me? Where did I go? I don’t even know how to start to find myself. ”

Frankly, it sucks to realize that we’ve wondered this far away from ourselves. This week, I spoke with four different women who are beginning to pick up the pieces. There are a million different paths back to you but here are a few basics to get you started.

1. Google “codependency”.

2. Read anything by Melody Beattie.

3. Adopt these rules (all year around): 5 Rules For Holidays That Don’t Suck.

4. If you are one who can always be counted on for a YES, read this: Why Do I Keep Saying Yes?

5. Consider a 12-step program.

 

6. Hire a life coach who does this kind of work with their clients. (Yes, of course, I am one.)

7. Take a few minutes for yourself every single day… no matter what. (If you don’t know what to do with those few minutes, consider starting with some of the items on this list.)

8. Ask yourself what you want and be still until you hear an answer.

9. Do what your intuition tells you to do. (See number 8.)

10. Take the Ultimate Cody (Codependency) Challenge.

This isn’t a formal thing. It just came through me during a coaching session a while ago, but it works. I’ve done it myself and it’s working for others who do it. Commit to discovering and document something new about you every single day. It can be something new that you never knew before, or something you used to know but that slipped away with all of the focus on parents, children, partners, work, and the world.

It can be foods, music, colors, people, hobbies, books, movies, the temperature of the house, or the way you cut your hair. It might be something you love to do, like acting or dancing, or something you want to know more about, like being a vegetarian or learning a new language.

It doesn’t matter what it is. Just notice you, without the influence of others because it’s not any one thing that slipped away while you were busy reacting the world around you. It’s a million little things. And if you take a moment day after day to reconnect with your truth, your impulses, your preferences, your favorites, you’ll find your way back home to you. I promise.

I’ve challenged clients to do this every day for a week to just get started, a month to go a little further, and I had one client who did this for a year. It’s easy and fun. You can share it with others or keep it to yourself. If you’re feeling a little lost, or incredibly lost, this challenge will carry you right back to the one you were born to be… one simple thing at a time.

How Your Thoughts & Emotions Affect Your Body

How Your Thoughts & Emotions Affect Your Body

  • Ed and Deb Shapiro

Ed remembers having an upset stomach when he was a child and his grandmother asking him if he was having a problem at school. What she knew instinctively we are at last beginning to prove scientifically: that there is an intimate and dynamic relationship between what is going on with our feelings and thoughts, and what happens in the body. A Time Magazine special showed that happiness, hopefulness, optimism and contentment, “Appear to reduce the risk or limit the severity of cardiovascular disease, pulmonary disease, diabetes, hypertension, colds and upper-respiratory infections; while depression—the extreme opposite of happiness—can worsen heart disease, diabetes and a host of other illnesses.”

In Woody Allen’s movie, Annie Hall, Diane Keaton is breaking up with Woody and wants to know why he isn’t angry. “I don’t get angry,” Allen replies, “I grow a tumor instead.”

However, Deb recently had a burst appendix and she is immensely grateful for the medical intervention that saved her life. So we know that illness is very real, that accidents happen, and how medicine can help. We aren’t trying to convince anyone that the sole reason for illness is in our mind. Nor are we saying that by understanding how the mind and body work together that we’ll be able to miraculously cure ourselves.

What we believe is that the role of the mind and emotions in our state of health is a vital one and that by understanding this relationship we can claim a greater role in our own well being. It is only a part of the overall picture, but it is the part that is invariably overlooked.

If we separate an organism into its component parts it can’t function. Each piece has a role to play, even if it is a very small role, so if only one part is malfunctioning it will affect the whole. Recently our car broke down. After it was fixed, we were told that it had been just one small wire that had caused the problem yet the engine could not function properly without it. In the same way, if we ignore the role our feelings and thoughts play we are ignoring one of the most important parts that make up our whole being. And it may be the one that most needs to get fixed.

Generally speaking, we tend to think of our bodies and minds as separate systems and believe they function, for the most part, independently. Yet instinctively we know that is not the whole story. For instance, can you remember the last time you had an interview for a job? Or went on a first date with someone you were really trying to impress? In either case, no doubt you wanted to appear calm and collected but at the same time you were feeling self-conscious and nervous. Can you recall how your body felt? Self-consciousness will tighten your buttock muscles (so you are literally sitting on your tension), you will sweat more than usual, may feel slightly nauseous, and you will probably fluff your words, just when you want to appear suave and confident.

In other words, our emotions affect us physically. It might be easy to understand that a scary thought gets our heart beating faster, but it can be harder to realize that loneliness, sadness or depression can also affect us physically, and when it comes to more complex emotions or illnesses few of us consider our emotions to have any relevance.

Understanding the bodymind relationship won’t necessarily cure all our physical difficulties but by learning the language of symptoms and illness we can discover what is being repressed or ignored in our psyche and emotions, and how this is influencing our well-being. From this vantage point we can discover that there is an extraordinarily intimate two-way communication going on between our body and mind that affects both our physical state and our mental and emotional health. Self-reflection and meditation are ways that help us deepen this understanding.

Can you see a link between the mind and the body?

Calendar of the Moon for January 29th

Calendar of the Moon

Dark Moon Night

Color: Black
Element: Air
Altar: Upon a black cloth set a single black candle, incense, an iron sickle laid to mimic the direction of the waning moon, a cup of water, a lock of silver hair, and a white bone.
Offerings: Bones. Stones. Menstrual blood. Give something up.
Daily Meal: Soup of some sort, cooked in a cauldron, eaten in silence.

Dark Moon Invocation

At this time, in the dark of the moon,
When the Silver Lady ages
To an old woman in the dark,
Haunting crossroads, working magic,
Stirring her cauldron
Of poison that heals,
Grandmother Moon of sorcery
And wisdom, who sees all
And reveals little to our searching eyes.
Moon of Death, Moon of mystery,
Moon of silence who hides her face,
Let us learn silence from your averted gaze
Let us learn patience from your aging face
Let us feel for the dark places within us
And find our way down your path in the darkness
Which is utter and complete
But not impenetrable.
As darkness wraps us,
So silence heals us.
As darkness finds us,
So silence guides us.
As darkness speaks,
So silence falls.

(The candle is blown out, and all leave in silence. From the beginning of this rite at Hesperis until the dawn, silence will rule in the house. Talking must be done only in whispers, and between no more than two people, and only for that which is necessary. Long meditation is encouraged, and all work must be done quietly if possible. The evening meal should be eaten by candlelight, and only candles may light the house, except for the sake of certain important work.)

Calendar of the Sun for January 29th

Calendar of the Sun
29 Wolfmonath

Concordia: Irene’s Day

Color: White
Element: Air
Altar: Upon a white cloth set the single white candle from Eunomia’s ritual the day before, a cup of milk, a garland of leaves and white flowers, and a white bird.
Offerings: Work for peace, in the home or outside of it.
Daily Meal: White food.

Invocation to Irene

Hail, Irene, Keeper of the Peace,
Hora of the Open Hand!
Without you, third of the Graces,
There are rules and justice, but no man
Is happy for more than a moment,
And no one is content.
You whose hand is extended in friendship,
You who are the quiet at the end of the storm,
You whose compassion aids the fallen
And who gives the struggling a space to breathe,
Like the bird that flutters beneath the cages of our ribs,
You, Lady Irene, pure white maiden of tranquillity,
Show us the way of the opened heart.

Song: Peace I Ask Of You O River

(The milk is poured out as a libation. All sit for a time in silence, and then go. No arguments or harsh words may be exchanged today.)

Cosmic Calendar for Sunday, January 29th

As mentioned at the end of yesterday’s calendar entry, after two days of up-in-the-air, wacky and wild cosmic behavior, the lunar orb provides a simple and straight-forward inspirational Moon-Jupiter parallel (12:23AM PST). Good fortune and optimism are back in your corner. A major shift concerns the asteroid Juno which is moving from the intense waters of Scorpio into fiery and enthusiastic Sagittarius (6:14AM PST). This is a boost for most primary partnerships as a vibration of goodwill enters the picture – particularly until Juno stops and begins a retrograde cycle in this same sign on March 24. You may also feel the urge to purchase new wardrobe items that are athletic and sporty in nature. Be more adventurous in your fashion and style interests. Reach out to nurture friends and relatives on the rocks as Mercury makes a supportive, 60-degree liaison with Ceres (9:13AM PST). Learn more about massage, shiatsu, acupuncture, acupressure, foot reflexology, herbal medicine and other, alternative healing techniques as Mercury forms a 30-degree tie with Chiron (1:18PM PST) while Venus ups the ante by making a parallel with Chiron (7:59PM PST). This latter aspect may also provide love birds with extra contentment and romantic interludes. Be aware that a short void lunar cycle arrives at 10:10PM PST and ends at 10:29PM PST when the Moon enters earthy, practical Taurus for the next 2+ days.

The Wiccan Book of Days for Jan. 29th – A Swedish Spiritualist

Wiccan Images, Pictures, Comments
A Swedish Spiritualist

January 29th, 1688, was the birthday of Swedish scientist Emanuel Swedenborg. He trod a spiritual path, experiencing mystical dreams and visions, studying the Judeo-Christian scriptures and drawing his own conclusions. He eventually became convinced that the Last Judgment had occurred in 1757, that he was the prophet of the New Church that he subsequently founded, and that becoming a more spiritual being on Earth would result in an angelic existence in heaven. Swedenborg died in 1772, but his ideas and teachings remain very much alive.

“Pray for Peace”

Pay tribute to Irene and Pax, the Greek and Roman goddesses of peace, especially if hostilities are tearing your country or the wider world apart. Place a symbol of peace (an object that evokes a rainbow, like a multicolored ribbon, or a twig from an olive tree) on your altar and address the goddesses.

Wishing You A Super Sun Shiny Sunday, dear ones!

Good Afternoon Images, Pictures, Comments
Hey, it’s hard thinking of new greetings each day, lol! I hope you are having a fantastic Sunday. I feel so good today there ought to be a law against it. The glorious Sun is shining, brightly. It looks so warm outside. I watched the Weather Broadcast this morning. The weatherman said it was going to be up in the 60’s and you better get out there and enjoy the day. Well dumb butt, believed him, I always wear shorts around the house. So I figured if it is supposed to be that warm, I would run out in them. I opened the door, not to bad. My big mistake was shutting the door. Good grief! The wind is blowing a gale and I think the wind chill is 10 degrees out there. It’s my own fault, I should know by now, never, ever trust the local weather people.

So I hope your morning is nice and warm. Remember if it looks warm outside, stick your toe out first. Well with that helpful tip, how about we get on with more important matters.

Have a Very Blessed Day!

 

Affirmation of the Day for Sun. January 29th

“I do not seek perfection – only to do the best that I  an. If others do better. I will admire them without envy while trying to do better myself.”

 

Thought of the Day for Sun. January 29th

The Flight of Icarus

According to Greek mythology, Icarus was a young man who tried to escape from a labyrinth wearing a pair of waxen wings made by his father Daedalus. However, despite his father’s warning. Icarus flew too close to the sun, his wings melted and he fell to the Earth. Hold this story in your mind to remind yourself of the need to balance idealism and aspiration with a realistic awareness of human limitation.