Your Daily Horoscopes for Thursday, June 14

We can tire ourselves out today since we’re tempted to take on too many projects as the excitable Aries Moon provokes the Sun, Venus and Jupiter in restless Gemini. The airy Gemini planets provide fuel to the Aries fire, prompting us to act before we think. Fortunately, we feel more stable once the Moon shifts into steady Taurus at 12:21 pm EDT. The hectic pace temporarily slows down, allowing us to be productive without depleting our energy.

Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You may feel as if you’re spinning your wheels today, without getting much done at all. Part of the problem is that you are not as grounded as you think. Fortunately, you can make a conscious decision to choose a path that demonstrates your commitment to finish what you start. Focusing on just one task at a time enables you to have the positive impact you seek by the end of the day.

Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You don’t want everyone to know what you are thinking today, but you still may not be able to avoid sharing too much. You must pay close attention to your words or you might inadvertently reveal more than you intend. However, limiting your interactions with others can give you the personal space you need now. Stay on track by resisting the tempting distractions as best you can.

Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Being presented with other people’s intriguing plans can be overwhelming, making it tough to know who is cleverest, you or your friend. In any event, there are too many ideas flying around today and you could exhaust yourself just trying to keep up. However, you don’t need to overcompensate by going quiet; just don’t overdo it when you share your thoughts. Create a safe environment where everyone feels comfortable exploring their options.

Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You’re feeling more independent on the job and would like to stretch your wings a bit. Unfortunately, you may be asked to help a fellow worker, which can temporarily restrict your freedom of movement. However, this doesn’t mean you should be any less compassionate in your dealings with others. Although you might be resistant at first, you can deepen a friendship by being available now for someone in need.

Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Although you may be looking far into the future, current circumstances pull you back to your responsibilities in the present moment. Nevertheless, you’re not eager to shift gears so suddenly and a part of you continues to imagine what’s ahead. Just remember that everything happens for a reason. Even if you must let go of your vision today, nothing will be lost. Your dreams will return when you have more time to attend to them.

Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You may still feel a bit scattered today, especially at work. It’s as if you are too excited to settle down to the specific tasks at hand. Try not to worry so much about missing a deadline, for the internal stress generated by anxiety is counterproductive. Everything should turn out fine now even if you fall behind; what you don’t finish today can be completed tomorrow.

Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

If you have been a bit self-absorbed recently, you may be snapped out of your current reverie by an unexpected event. Something special might happen today that reminds you of the magic of the universe and it’s easy to make this even more important than it actually is. Remember that you are in an intense period of change that will continue over the next several months, so reserve your conclusions until you have a bit more perspective.

Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You may take on too many projects now, yet the chores you finish early in the day will open up more free time for you later. Complete as much as you can or you might have to turn down an exciting last-minute invitation. Packing as much as possible into the morning hours ensures that you’ll have sufficient time to play with your friends today, recharging your batteries for the work ahead.

Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

If you have too much fun during the day today, you might have to pay for it emotionally later on. Let others know if you truly want to participate, but don’t feel obligated to say yes in order to live up to someone else’s expectations. Ultimately, your best strategy is to carefully pace yourself so you’ll still have some energy leftover in the evening for what’s important to you.

Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

It’s challenging to remain focused on your own agenda today since your thoughts are flying all over the place. You might even try to do the same old thing in a completely new way just to avoid boredom. The problem is that your new approach could throw off your natural rhythm and ultimately slow you down. Save your creativity for something more fun while getting your chores out of the way as efficiently as possible.

Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

There’s so much to accomplish early in the day that you could easily lose sight of how to enjoy yourself. The simple solution is to avoid trying to do everything all at once. Remember, whatever you cannot finish now can be completed in a day or two. Finding a manageable balance between work and play makes all the difference in the world.

Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Your excitement about taking some time off can morph into anxiety if you are so overwhelmed with your current responsibilities that you’re afraid of losing the opportunity. Instead of projecting the pressure you currently feel into the future, keep reminding yourself to calm down and accomplish as much as you can right now. Thankfully, taking care of your obligations in a methodical manner helps to ease your concerns and enables you to relax later on.

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Daily Horoscopes for Wednesday, June 13

Although we want to buzz around today, we’re more conservative in our actions as the flighty Gemini Sun is anchored by its smooth trine to stabilizing Saturn. Meanwhile, the impulsive Aries Moon prompts reckless behavior. Nevertheless, we’re best served by steadily working toward our goals by building structures that will endure the tests of time. Ultimately, it’s easier now to make something real happen, but we still must earn what we receive.

Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You can feel the adrenaline pumping through your body, but something is still holding you back today. Your inclination is to shut out all the contradictions by closing your eyes and just jumping into the fray. Although the impetuous Aries Moon tempts you to rush dangerously close to the edge, it’s beneficial to think things through before going too far. Exercising self-restraint now is easier than usual and, luckily, works in your favor.

Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Good ideas are popping into your awareness today, but you cannot follow each one of them to its conclusion. Your smartest strategy is to narrow the field of possibilities now before taking action. It’s silly to waste energy running around from one project to another, even if they are worthwhile. There is a gem in the mixture; your assignment is to find it.

Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

You may be tougher on yourself than anyone realizes today. In some ways you’re like a stage magician, for others just see what you want them to see. Everyone is fascinated with your hands waving around in the air and the amazing stories you can tell, but they may not understand this show is all to hide the mental juggling act you’re performing behind the curtain. Instead of going to such extreme measures, just take action now to fix what’s wrong.

Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

Everything has grown pretty intense lately, but it’s nearly impossible to tell who’s really in control — and this is part of the problem. Don’t try to outsmart others with your logic, or you could end up tying your emotions into knots that cannot be easily untangled. You will find allies you didn’t know you had if you simply lean toward cooperation now rather than competition.

Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Your actions today should easily produce enduring results without a lot of extra effort. Thankfully, you probably won’t have to wave your flag as much as usual to get others to respond. However, don’t be surprised when they admire your dramatic flair instead of your work. Be humble; the real message is about what you can do now that adds meaning to your life.

Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You’re very proud of your work, even if others don’t seem to appreciate what you’re doing. However, you might not feel like you’re making much progress if you start to believe the negative feedback. Thankfully, you have more control of what happens than you realize. Your persistence will be rewarded, so remain focused on your objectives today no matter what anyone else says.

Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Being artistic isn’t all fun and games. There is hard work in doing what you do and living your life in your special way, even if it looks easy to others. Your self-discipline, combined with a strong work ethic, sets the stage for the big payoff. Although you’re tempted to take the easy way out, it’s more important to keep the production lines moving so you can reach your goals.

Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Although your current feelings may be rather complicated, you can learn a lot by exploring them. Fortunately, you’re quite capable when it comes to integrating complex emotions that have been lurking around in your shadowy subconscious. However, you must resist the temptation to leave questions unanswered now just because you are bored. Instead of skipping off to the next intriguing distraction today, stay in one place long enough to satisfy your quest for meaning.

Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You might feel as if you’re in a restrictive box today, but oddly enough you don’t seem to mind. Although you believe that unconventional thinking is your fastest way out of a difficult situation, you’re not at liberty now to act on your thoughts. Ultimately, it’s difficult to decide whether to be rebellious or rational. Others may encourage more radical behavior, but a traditional approach increases your chances for success.

Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You Mountain Goats climb harder when the going gets tough, as if you’re trying to prove that nothing will stop you. Nevertheless, it’s challenging to focus now as you move from one project to another. Ironically, you may appear more scattered than you actually are. There’s a method to your madness today, so don’t let anyone plant a seed of doubt in your mind. You can reach the top of the mountain if you believe that you can.

Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Others tend to take you quite seriously today, even if you’re channeling the weirdest and most eccentric parts of yourself. Fortunately, you get to play both ends of the spectrum, being an unconventional rebel and a disciplined student. Although an impulsive reaction seems like the opposite of a more compulsive approach, you can somehow combine the attributes into a single posture that gets you what you need. Enjoy the balancing game while it lasts.

Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

A family problem that remains unsolved now takes an important turn toward resolution. However, the conflict isn’t over yet because the final outcome has not yet been determined. In the meantime, you can still get closer to compromise if you just allow your true feelings out of the bag. Embrace the future; sharing your hopes and fears creates an atmosphere of trust.

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Your Daily Horoscopes for Tuesday, June 12

Pent-up tensions are expressed unexpectedly, suddenly changing the direction of our day. The Moon’s shift into excitable Aries at 12:21 am EDT puts us on edge and increases our need for adrenaline. Her stressful alignments with wild Uranus and passionate Pluto intensify our emotions, especially if we’re engaged in any kind of power struggle. Luckily, our flexibility can be the crucial key that turns a difficult time into a positive experience.

Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Trusting your natural talent to react in the moment without a lot of forethought enables you to turn a complicated situation into one that is beneficial for everyone involved. Just remember to respond to an unexpected change of plans at work without going overboard. There’s no need to convince anyone that you have everything under control, because you don’t. The good news is that no one expects you to have all the answers.

Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Your fantasies are spilling over into your environment, challenging you to separate your real life from your dreams. It’s difficult to make a decision now because everything tends to look better than it actually is. Stop and listen to what others are saying; a reality check is a smart idea today prior to making any significant moves.

Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Someone can misread your intentions today, reminding you that judging a book by its cover is never a good idea. Your current behavior says one thing yet your heart says something else. Nevertheless, don’t blame others for misunderstanding your message. Trickster Mercury is still twisting your tongue into expressing your truth in a very convoluted manner. Fewer words now are better than too many.

Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You may become drawn into other people’s business today, even if you usually try to avoid drama by keeping to yourself. Helping someone out sometimes is a slippery slope and being aware of your own feelings can prevent you from sliding too far and too fast. Putting up protective boundaries to maintain your emotional security isn’t necessary now. Thankfully, you can still be a friend without losing yourself along the way.

Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

You feel so good about yourself today that you want to say yes to everyone and everything. You make friends quite naturally because your generosity of spirit is contagious. Nevertheless, a bit of self-restraint is necessary or your overconfidence can set you up for disappointment later on. However, demonstrating your responsible outlook on life may not be as much fun at first. Thankfully, setting priorities enables you to accomplish more than you expect.

Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Although you’re receiving sufficient support to go ahead with your project now, moving too fast only creates problems. Your friends and associates may be enthusiastic about your plans, encouraging you along your way. However, if you bolt ahead too quickly, you could actually end up at the wrong destination. Even if you’re eager to move forward today, taking your time pays off in ways you cannot yet imagine.

Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

A friend or business partner may promise one thing today and deliver something quite different. You yearn for consistency now and really don’t like it when others lack follow-through. Your natural tendency is to graciously take it in stride, without showing your annoyance or anger. Nevertheless, it might be healthier to express your need for assistance from someone you can rely on. Your desire for harmony is admirable, but you still deserve respect just like everyone else.

Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Everything seems copasetic on the surface, but you may feel as if you took something one step too far. You can’t retreat; what’s already done is done. Keep in mind, though, that others may not be as judgmental of you as you are of yourself. You might not be able to avoid spinning your inner web of worries today, but remember that you don’t have to reveal your insecurities to anyone else. Things will look much better tomorrow.

Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

There is so much happening in your life now that it’s nearly impossible to keep up with every little detail. People around you may begin to annoy you, even if they are your friends. Try to look beyond your irritation, since you might be overreacting about something relatively insignificant. When in doubt today, express your thoughts by offering a positive perspective instead of venting your concerns. If your uncertainty lingers overnight, then find the right person to share your fears with tomorrow.

Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You may feel as if you are being thrust forward like a rocket ship today, and you’re already way outside of your element. You really don’t want to do something if you aren’t ready, but you might not have the luxury now of saying no. Luckily, you can accept the challenges of new assignments without losing your footing. You are capable of reaching the stars even if you prefer to keep your feet on the ground.

Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

It’s so easy to fall in love these days that you might do it more than once. But allowing yourself to indulge in a romantic fantasy doesn’t necessarily mean that you must bring it out into the open. Your dreams are intense now, so pay extra attention to what’s happening to minimize confusion. There’s no need to express your desires to anyone else unless you truly feel ready to do so. Channeling your passion into a creative outlet will produce lasting results.

Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You are hearing conflicting messages today from your own inner guidance system. Keep in mind that you are more sensitive now than usual and could also be picking up subtle signals from those around you. Even if you don’t have a clear plan in place, choose your next project wisely and get started. You can always make necessary modifications when you are further along in the process.

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the daily humorscopes for tuesday, june 12

the daily humorscope

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Today you will realize that it seems quite impossible to make any sense out of life, especially when you consider what life must be like in Nebraska.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Today someone will accuse you of spending too much time with your computer. The way to handle that is to say you’ve got “lots of work to do.” (And don’t let them spot you fondly caressing it.)

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Excellent day to do something new with bean curd.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

While poring over some old historical documents, you will discover that the Norman invasion was actually supposed to be the “Bob” invasion, but Norman stole the credit for it. Sadly, it will turn out to be too late to change it now.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You will soon accidentally discover why it is that so many things “taste like chicken.” It’s because they ARE chickens, in clever disguises.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Excellent day to shuffle your feet. Remember: it’s OK to shuffle your feet or to shuffle your cards, but you should never shuffle your nose.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Between now and the vernal equinox, trust anyone with freckles. After that, trust no one.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

The world will be dim and grey, and cold. Carrion crows will caw at you from the edges of the world, and deep cold water will rush by in rivers without names. Ahead, on the peak of a mountain, is a glimmering golden light. Either that, or you’ll get gum stuck to your shoe. (Sometimes these things are hard to read.)

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

People are starting to take you a bit too seriously. Try wearing your bunny slippers to work.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)

Excellent time to start a new company, making software to help people with mental problems. You will call it SchizoSoft. Your motto: “Who Do You Want To Be Today?”

Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)

Someone who you really dislike, who is arrogance personified…will be nice to you. This is a good time to be afraid.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Your requests are being ignored. Often you can get people to pay attention by simply adding a few words to the end of your request, such as “Pick up your socks, dear, or die screaming.”

Your Daily Horoscopes for Monday, June 11th

We get glimpses of the big changes ahead when the cosmic rock and roll takes us to a new level today. The tempo of life picks up speed as expansive Jupiter hurries into restless Gemini for a yearlong visit. Additionally, speaking the truth can stir up relationship trouble as messenger Mercury forms anxious aspects with revolutionary Uranus and transformational Pluto. Thankfully, the compassionate Pisces Moon enables us to soothe emotional turmoil.

Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You would prefer to keep your feelings to yourself today, but real-world obligations rudely pull you out of your inner reverie. Whether you like it or not, your attention must be focused on career issues rather than personal ones. Fortunately, a resolution to your current dilemma is possible if you state your needs with clarity. Remain relentless until you’re on a professional path that you can follow without sacrificing your integrity.

Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Intense discussions about your most personal values are stressful, but you might want someone else’s point of view to clarify your own. However, your plan to involve others can backfire because they might have their own strong opinions on what you should do, setting up the likelihood of a verbal disagreement. Keep a tender spot in your heart for those you love in order to minimize any unnecessary conflict.

Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Your uncharacteristic self-analysis pulls you into the mysterious shadows of your subconscious, bringing up old issues of self-worth. However, your current anxiety is probably linked to your relationship with the material world as you worry about your finances. If money matters present a challenge today, it’s time to face whatever stands between you and your desired security. Taking a proactive approach now prevents a crisis down the road.

Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

An intense character may enter your life now that mischievous Mercury opposes dark Pluto, presenting you with an emotional dilemma. You must decide whether to continue on your own path or to go along with someone else’s agenda. Although everything seems dramatic now, a temporary retreat enables you to gain clarity so you know exactly which way you want to go.

Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

You are resistant to talk too much today because you believe that others already know enough about you. Although you prefer to avoid conflict, an unexpected argument can suddenly pull you off track. Unfortunately, you might not even have a choice now. Just make certain that you fully commit to the process, since the only way you can get out is by going through it. Improve the interpersonal dynamics by showing all your cards. Exercising full disclosure is your smartest strategy.

Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Emotional comfort may be elusive today as verbal sparring distracts you from making a real connection with someone you love. Even a straightforward romance can grow complicated today as communicator Mercury forms tense aspects with passionate Pluto and disruptive Uranus. Nevertheless, don’t let the apparent lack of warmth discourage you. Intimacy doesn’t come without a struggle these days. Engaging in an open and honest dialogue clears the air of tension, allowing sweeter times to follow.

Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Your desire to be impartial dredges up hidden family secrets and brings unexpressed thoughts into awareness now as you go looking for answers. Allow communicator Mercury to do his job and initiate conversations, even if sharing at an emotional level precipitates an unpleasant confrontation. Thankfully, you should emerge unscathed and even relieved if you interact willingly, instead of avoiding the issues to keep the peace.

Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You are like a ferryman today, shuffling to and fro between two opposing perspectives. Thankfully, you aren’t easily deceived into believing that one side is right and the other is wrong. Nevertheless, don’t get sucked into thinking your own point of view is superior to anyone else’s opinion; a bit of intellectual detachment is exactly what you need.

Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Although you normally say what’s on your mind, you may try to avoid expressing your feelings today because they make you uncomfortable. You might grow so passionate over a personal belief that you don’t understand how anyone else could possibly think differently. Ironically, your ideas provoke strong emotions in others which can lead to conflict. Thankfully, the turmoil will pass quickly if you face your fears with the courage of your convictions.

Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Even if you’re feeling optimistic now, you must still handle issues that can bring you into direct opposition with a formidable opponent. Although you are prepared for battle, you might secretly wish you could just walk away. It seems as if your life has become a series of powerful transformations. You are not who you once were, yet you’re not the person you are still becoming. Nevertheless, take it easy even in the midst of conflict, for real change takes time to unfold.

Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You may be required to do something today that you would simply rather not do — yet your resistance is futile. You could grow angry if it appears that someone is working behind the scenes to undermine your positive efforts. Taking a self-righteous stand only makes matters worse. Rather than just reacting to other people’s demands with resentment, remain open to further discussion. You may be surprised that reaching a satisfying compromise is easier than you think.

Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

It might appear as if there is no solution in sight to a current disagreement. Although loyalties in friendships may be rearranging as the current passions rise, you have a secret weapon at your disposal today. Your current ability to emotionally detach while staying intellectually engaged could save the day. Carefully analyze the whole situation to locate pieces of common ground upon which everyone can stand.

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Your Love Horoscopes for the Week of June 11th

The weekend gets off to a mellow start with the mood-setting Moon traveling through easygoing Taurus on Friday and Saturday. Simple activities that calm the nerves and please the senses invite closeness. There is, though, a stubborn side to the Bull, making flexibility hard to find. The energy changes dramatically after the Moon shifts into airy and adaptable Gemini in the wee hours of Sunday morning. Keeping things light and breezy allows you to connect with others without going too deep.

Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Take a deep breath and slow everything down if you want to catch the love train this weekend. The Moon is moseying along in placid Taurus on Friday and Saturday when patience will be highly appreciated. Enjoy the sweet moments of life as if you have all the time in the world. Sensual activities like massage and music should be particularly satisfying, especially when shared with the right person. The pace picks up considerably after the evocative Moon moves into flirtatious Gemini early on Sunday morning.

Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Set work aside to indulge in pleasure during this delicious weekend. The Moon is shining in your sensual sign on Friday and Saturday to remind you of how desirable you can be when you’re not trying to make an impression. Delighting in nature, music, art or some good food with someone special enriches any type of relationship. It’s time to mingle if you’re single; celebrating the joy of being yourself is likely to attract plenty of interesting company. The Moon’s shift into flirty Gemini on Sunday morning won’t give you much time to rest. Put on your party shoes and dance!

Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Try not to overload your schedule or exhaust your mind with too many plans and activities this weekend. The Moon is hanging out in tranquil Taurus and your 12th House of Privacy on Friday and Saturday, which is ideal for spending time alone or relaxing with an easygoing individual. You will attract more than your share of attention once the Moon enters your sociable sign on Sunday morning. But until then playing the strong and silent type is your best strategy.

Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

The company of supportive friends is especially welcome this Friday and Saturday with the dependable Taurus Moon occupying your 11th House of Groups. Participating in a community project or doing volunteer work is a wonderful way to meet someone new or to put your current relationship in a healthier place. Sunday’s lunar shift into your 12th House of Solitude is perfect for scheduling some quiet time alone or with one undemanding person.

Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

People are relying on you to be steady and responsible with the Moon’s presence in earthy Taurus and your 10th House of Authority on Friday and Saturday. Taking the initiative in organizing social activities puts you in a good light as long as you’re not too pushy in your approach. Keeping plans simple so you can enjoy yourself without having to worry about minor details shows off both your reliable and playful sides. Sunday’s Gemini Moon lights up your 11th House of Groups, indicating that the party is just getting started. Work can feel like play if you are mixing with the right crowd.

Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

The sensual Taurus Moon is traveling through your 9th House of Beliefs and Faraway Places on Friday and Saturday. People and experiences from different cultures can provide a sense of adventure in a safe situation. Connecting with someone through a school function or religious event might also ignite sparks now. Sunday’s energy is different, though, with the jittery Gemini Moon hanging out at the top of your chart, inspiring your curiosity and overloading you with obligations.

Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Dealing with a stubborn partner could be a tricky issue on Friday and Saturday. The Moon in slow-to-change Taurus occupies your 8th House of Deep Sharing, which can indicate a difference of opinions over values, desires, sex or money. Luckily, patience and practicality are the keys that can open the door to intimacy. Avoid a direct challenge as a more subtle approach now will bring a much sweeter outcome. The air clears on Sunday morning when the Moon shifts into friendly Gemini and your 9th House of Adventure. Free your mind and the rest will follow.

Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Relationships are rocking this weekend, starting with the Moon in loyal Taurus and your 7th House of Partners on Friday. Projecting a calm sense of authority is irresistible to others, kicking a current alliance into a higher gear or attracting the attention of someone new. Practicing patience pays big dividends now so don’t put pressure on yourself or anyone else to make the magic happen. Committing to any one plan is tricky business once the Moon enters fickle Gemini and your 8th House of Intimacy on Sunday morning.

Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

The earthy Taurus Moon in your 6th House of Service is not the ideal cosmic alignment for cultivating romance this weekend. Still, you could enhance your relationship life by effectively collaborating with someone on a project. Forget about making big promises, when sticking to the little ones is enough to make a positive impression. Sunday’s great for connecting with those you love since an early morning lunar transit into talkative Gemini and your 7th House of Partners gets the conversational ball rolling.

Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Clear your calendar of responsibilities so that you have plenty of free time to play this weekend. The sensual Taurus Moon’s presence in your 5th House of Romance on Friday and Saturday is an invitation to open your heart and have some fun. You don’t have to do anything elaborate to attract the attention of someone new or to arouse interest from your current partner. Indulging in simple pleasures can be a special bonding experience. The Moon’s move into busy Gemini and your 6th House of Details early on Sunday morning gently reminds you to attend to practical matters.

Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You might want to stick close to home on Friday and Saturday with the Moon sinking into your 4th House of Roots. A quiet retreat is likely to be more fulfilling now than being out and about in a noisy crowd. Entertaining at your place, though, could create some emotional magic. Sunday’s another story as flirtatious behavior comes naturally and you attract plenty of attention with the chatty Gemini Moon lighting up your playful 5th house.

Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

If you’ve been waiting for the right time for an important conversation, Friday or Saturday might do the trick. The Moon is in calm and reasonable Taurus and your 3rd House of Communication, giving you an excellent opportunity to express yourself clearly. Yet even a casual chat could lead to a deeper connection if you take the time to share what’s on your mind. Shaking things up at home helps make Sunday a stimulating and memorable day.

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Your Horoscope Helpers

By Annie B. Bond

Every sun sign has spirit-helpers that include ancient gods and goddesses, mythic figures from many different cultures–including Celtic, Hindu, and Ancient Greek–angels, saints, and much more.

Find out who your horoscope helpers are, so you can begin a more conscious relationship with them. This is rich, fascinating, and very helpful information!

Aries, March 21-April 19: Khamael, Samuel (angels); Huitzilopochtli (Aztrec); Nergal (Babylonian); Belacadros, Brigantia, Cernunnus, Cocideus, Morrigan, Teutates (Celtic); St. Barbara, St. Peter (Christian); Amun, Khnum, Neith (Egyptian); Laran (Etruscan); Ares, Achilles, Amazons, Athena, Dione, Jason, Hercules, Nike, Phrixus and Helle (greek); Indrea, Agni, Durga (Hindu); Odin, Tyr, Wodan (Nordic); Mars, Pallas, Minerva, Bellona (Roman); Emperor, Tower (Tarot).

Taurus, April 20-May 21: Anaele (Angel); Coatlicue (Aztec); Aine (Celtic); St. Simon (Christian); Bastet, Geb (Egyptian); Aphrodite, Ariadne, Astarte, Daedalus, Dionysus, Europa, Hephaestus, Minotaur, Theseus (Greek); Brahma, Ganesh, Kubera, Lakshmi, Uma (Hindu); Freya (Nordic); Venus, Mithra, Vulcan (Roman); Ki (Sumerian); Hierophant, Empress (Tarot).

Gemini, May 22-June 20: Raphael, Ongkanon (Angels); Nabu (Babylonian); St. Christopher, St. Nicholas, St. Anthony of Pauda (Christian); Anubis, Thoth (Egyptian); Turms (Etruscan); Hermes, Castor and Pollux, Meti (Greek); Sarasvati, Hanuman (Hindu); Mercury, Apollo, Romulus and Remus (Roman); Magician, Lovers (Tarot).

Cancer, June 21-July 22: Gabriel (Angel); Sin (Babylonian); Arianrhod, Ceridwen (Celtic); Mary, St. Andrew (Christian); Kwan Yin, Shing-Moo (China); Isis, Khonsu, Thoth (Egyptian); Losna (Etruscan); Artemis, Atlante, Astarte, Hecate, Selena (Greek); Parvati, Soma, Subhadra, Tara, Kali (Hindu); Susa-No-O (Japan); Itzamna (Maya); Freyr, Hurukan, Mani, Nanna (Nordic); Lebhana-Leukothea (Persian); Diana, Lucina, Ops (Roman); Nanna (Sumerian); High Priestess, Chariot (Tarot).

Leo, July 23- Aug 22: Michael (Angel); Quetzalcoatl, Tonatiuh, Huitzilopochtli (Aztec); Shamash (Babylonian); Belanus, Lugh (Celtic); Jesus, St. Jerome. St. Mark (Christian); Ammon, Aton, Helius, Mendes, Osiris, Ra, Sekhmet (Egyptian); Cautha (Etruscan); Asclepios, Apollo, Dianus, Dionysus, Helios, Heracles, Hyperion, Teia (Greek); Balarama, Indrea, Pushan, Savitri, Surya, Vishnu, Varuna, Brahma (Hindu); Inti (Inca); Amaterasu (Japan); Itzamna (Maya); Thor (Nordic); Mithras, Zoroaster (Persian); Apollo, Hercules, Jupiter, Aesculapius, Sol (Roman); Strength, Sun (Tarot).

Virgo, Aug 23-Sept 22: Raphael (Angel); Nidaba (Babylonian); St, Anthony of Egypt, Virgin Mary (Christian); Asclepios, Hermes, Astraea, Demeter, Hestia, Chiron (Greek); Ganga (Hindu); Mercury, Ceres, Vesta, Aesculapius (Roman); Hermit (Tarot).

Libra, Sept 23-Oct 22: Anaele, Lucipher (Angels); Quetzalcoatl (Aztec); Ishtar (Babylonian); St. Mary Magdalen (Christian); Isis, Maat (Egyptian); Turan (Etruscan); Aphrodite, Hera, Athena, Adonis, Themis (Greek); Krishna, Shakti, Lakshmi (Hindu); Freya (Nordic); Venus, Juno, Pallas, Vulcan (Roman); Justice (Tarot).

Scorpio, Oct 23-Nov 21: Azrael (Angel); Mitlontecutli, Mictlancihuatl, Tezcatlipoca, Tlazolteotl (Aztec); Ereshkigal (Babyonian); Don, Epona, Gwydion (Celtic); St. Thomas, St. Martin (Christian); Anubis, Hosiris, Selket (Egyptian); Alpanu, Matus (Etruscan); Hades, Hecate, Persephone, Orion, Orpheus (Greek); Shiva, Kali, Kama, Bali, Yama (Hindu); Yima (Persian); Pluto, Mars, Vulcan (Roman); Death, Judgement (Tarot).

Sagittarius, Nov 22-Dec 21: Sachiel (Angel); Marduk (Babylonian); Bussumarus, Dagda (Celtic); St. James, St. Sebastian (Christia); Tina (Etruscan); Zeus, Chiron, Ixion, Themis, Artemis (Greek); Ganesha, Indra (Hindu); Thor, Donar (Nordic); Jupiter, Fortuna, Diana (Roman); Wheel of Fortune, Temperance (Tarot).

Capricorn, Dec 22-Jan 19: Kassiel (Angel); Ninurta (Babylonian); St. Matthew (Christian); Consentes, Min (Egyptian); Cronus, Medusa, Pan, Amalthea, Atlas, Rhea (Greek); Kali, Shiva (Hindu); Saturn, Janus, Vesta (Roman); World (Tarot).

Aquarius, Jan 20-Feb 18: Uriel (Angel); Taddheus, St. Francis of Assisi, St. John the Baptist (Christian); Horus, Nut (Egyptian); Uranus, Deucalion, Hebe, Ganymede, Hephaestus (Greek); Varuna (Hindu); Itzamma (Maya); Dionysus, Juno (Roman); Fool, Star (Tarot).

Pisces, Feb 19-March 20: Asariel (Angel); Bridget, Rhiannon (Celtic); Kwan Yin, Nu Kwa (China); Matthias, Jonah, St. Brendan the Navigator, St. Joseph of Cupertino (Christian); Isis, Bes (Egyptian); Nethuns (Etruscan); Poseidon, Atagartis, Cassiopeia (Greek); Varuna (Hindu); Susanowo (Japanese); Aesgir, Njord (Nordic); Neptune, Cosus, Dionysus (Roman); Ea (Sumerian); Hanged Man, Moon (Tarot).

Daily Horoscopes for Sunday, June 10

We’re able to perceive very subtle messages today that we might otherwise miss, but being so sensitive can also create problems. The psychic Pisces Moon makes it difficult to tell if we are imagining something or if it is real. We may feel socially awkward as the Moon’s midday square with sensual Venus magnifies our desires. Nevertheless, we’re still inclined to act before we think as clever Mercury forms a magical quintile with impulsive Mars.

Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You had your heart set on doing something fun with your friends today, but as the time draws near, you might feel like bailing on your plans and taking some quiet time to contemplate your future. However, the universe encourages you to be more socially active now. Whatever happens, don’t get caught up in someone else’s drama. You can still find peace of mind as long as you pay attention to your own feelings, even in the midst of a noisy party.

Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You may resist sharing your feelings because you don’t want your friends to think that you’re being negative. Maybe you’ve been waiting for the right moment to tell everyone what’s on your mind, yet it never seems like a good time. You might be annoyed today that you haven’t spoken your truth, and it is tempting to blame an outsider. Instead, take full responsibility for your emotions and express them without pointing your finger at anyone else. Others will appreciate your integrity once you’ve cleared the air.

Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

You are extremely susceptible to whatever your friends and family tell you now. Although your desires can be quite different from other people’s expectations, you don’t want to create a scene over a petty disagreement. However, your frustration may turn to anger if you decide to do what someone else wants rather than following your own instincts. It’s certainly smarter to get your feelings out into the open than to let them stew in resentment. The sooner you share what’s in your heart, the better.

Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

Your dreams are too big to keep hidden now and you might continue feeding them with your fantasies all day long. Unfortunately, your vision is too idealistic to integrate into your everyday life in a practical way. Nevertheless, your mental meanderings serve a definite purpose, encouraging you to explore all of the possibilities before you and all of the magic within. Allow your imagination to wander today; you never know where it will take you.

Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

You seem to know exactly what to say and your words have a positive effect on others today. But even if you have a solid plan, you are likely to ignore it once a conversation starts. Stay in the present moment now rather than trying to follow a particular script. Step boldly into unknown territory, but beware that you probably won’t end up where you expected.

Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

It’s challenging to concentrate on the details in order to make certain that what you’re working on today doesn’t fall apart. But you might be trying to exert too much control over things that just don’t matter in the long run. Instead of wasting time attempting to control external events, you’re free to focus your attention anywhere you want. Establishing sensible priorities now enables you to make progress more than anything else.

Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Your overly dramatic attempts to convince your friends how efficient you are might backfire if you try too hard today. You are more likely to make an error in judgment now if you act under pressure. Adopt a more laid-back approach so you don’t appear desperate. Give yourself more time to finish your work and don’t worry so much about what others think.

Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

It’s nearly impossible to know how you will react if a close friend brings a complex problem to you today. You really want to be supportive, but might discover that your eagerness to help quickly turns into resentment. Process your frustrations before they manifest negative consequences. Trust your instincts; you are more brilliant now than you realize.

Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You may want a quiet day at home, away from your regular responsibilities. However, even if you attempt to schedule your weekend so that you have plenty of downtime, don’t be surprised if you end up taking on more than you planned. Compassion, rather than ambition, motivates you to help a family member, friend or even someone you don’t know. The more you give, the more you get.

Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Your sixth sense is highly active today and it can be startling at first if you suddenly realize something that you haven’t yet been told. Remember that your regular rational approach won’t work now because you may not be able to explain your current insights. Instead of putting up defenses because you feel uncomfortable, stay open to the waves of intuition flooding your awareness. Don’t question this magical process; instead, act on a hunch as if you believe it’s true.

Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You may be annoyed with someone who doubts the wisdom of your choices because it feels as if your core values are being questioned. Normally, you can stand up for yourself, but words seem to fail you now. The harder you try to make your point, the more flustered you are today. Take a few steps backward so you can regroup and then state your case. Defend your decision and let your performance stand on its own merit.

Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You might be happier today if you don’t have too many prior commitments on your calendar. Naturally, you won’t be able to avoid certain responsibilities, but the less you have on your schedule now, the better. Just remember this isn’t about being lazy; it’s about staying attuned to your own internal clock rather than conforming to everyone else’s agendas.

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the daily humorscopes for sunday, june 10

the daily humorscope

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Aries

(March 21 – April 19)

Today you will realize that it’s impossible to truly “control” anything, even yourself, and that the best you can hope for is to have some “influence” over yourself and your surroundings. This will make you feel better, before the pink slip arrives.

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

You’ve heard that when economists use the word “nice”, they’re actually saying that something is homoscedastic and nonautoregressive. Today you will find out what they mean when they say something is “like, totally kewl.”

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

You will be tickled without mercy, today. Oddly, you will not be able to see your assailant.

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

You will try to alleviate the boredom you feel by making something creative with twine. Fortunately, it will work, but you’ll need a lot of twine.

Leo

(July 23 – August 22)

Good day to avoid pickled herring.

Virgo

(August 23 – September 22)

It was a simple mistake, which anyone could have made. What’s more, now you know better. I think, though, that the expression is too widespread for you to actually get it changed to “never look a gift horse in either end.”

Libra

(September 23 – October 22)

Someone who you really dislike, who is arrogance personified…will be nice to you. This is a good time to be afraid.

Scorpio

(October 23 – November 21)

What fun! You’ll be called in to a special meeting at work soon, where someone will have a “pink slip.” Sounds like party attire to me!

Sagittarius

(November 22 – December 21)

You will go into business making those little sugar packets that restaurants use, and make a fortune. The restaurants will have to use fewer of yours than anyone else’s. Is it due to the pictures on the packets, of really fat people? Who knows.

Capricorn

(December 22 – January 20)

You will walk into a door frame today, and people will smirk. Remember though, they’re smirking with you, not at you.

Aquarius

(January 21 – February 18)

You are about to have an unfortunate episode involving insects, grape Kool-Aide, and a revolving door.

Pisces

(February 19 – March 20)

Relationships are a lot like tables. One leg is love, one is trust, one is shared pleasures, and one is shared dreams. Lasting relationships need all four legs for balance, to hold up the burden of your troubles. In your case, though, you’ll never get rid of that irritating wobble.

Your Daily Horoscopes for Saturday, June 9

We know what we want, yet our clarity fades as the Moon leaves futuristic Aquarius and slips into slippery Pisces at 3:21 pm EDT. We are confused, even by simple problems, especially when the Moon joins nebulous Neptune this afternoon. We are lured further away from the facts when we’re tempted to tell stories and share fantasies. Meanwhile a complex septile between bombastic Jupiter and electric Uranus reveals a surprising twist of fate.

Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You think that you have a handle on the events of the day, but you’re viewing reality through a very optimistic lens. Your certainty is misleading to others who take your words at face value. Be fair to all involved by acknowledging your disorientation today before creating additional trouble. Your happiness depends on your ability to be honest with everyone, especially yourself.

Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You’re currently concerned about losing your practical approach to finances or misplacing your good judgment about meeting responsibilities. Although you realize that your perspective is a bit off today, you still might not make the best choices. Ultimately, fuzzy thinking can weaken your position, so steer clear of unnecessary debates for a while. Putting off significant decisions for a few days is wise because you need additional time to clarify your goals.

Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Your vivid imagination is in overdrive today as every separate event sparks cascades of unconventional fantasies. Enjoy the show, but be careful of becoming so entranced by the distractions that you begin to think that your flights of fancy are real. You might not want to stop daydreaming, but you can simplify your life by keeping the visions to yourself for now.

Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You might mistakenly assume that your plan is worthwhile as long as you’re receiving approval from someone else. A close friend may complicate your life by trying to change your mind while you’re in the middle of resolving an emotional dilemma. Unfortunately, others cannot understand how deep your feelings really run, especially if you don’t usually share your innermost process. Keep your best ideas quiet for another day or two until you’re more confident about where you stand. Evaluate your own priorities by listening to your heart.

Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Everyone seems a bit out of it today, but their vagueness says more about you than others. Although you are working harder these days to gain more clarity in your life, the truth still seems elusive. You tend to overcompensate by limiting your delusional thinking, reducing your own creativity in the process. There’s no need to be too judgmental. When you become more accepting of yourself, everything else will appear more positive, too.

Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You may be feeling befuddled as you go about your chores today, but you’re struggling because you aren’t sure of your current role. Even if you have enduring routines, things are changing in ways that are difficult to understand. Instead of wasting time listing all the pros and cons of your situation, drop the analysis for now. Just show up and do what’s expected of you; set aside the major decisions until you’re more certain about where you want to go.

Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Although you might have a specific agenda when you wake up today, you’re likely to shift directions as the day unfolds. Trying to hold your focus grows increasingly complicated and can lead to frustration unless you’re willing to reconsider your goals and reinvent your strategy. However, even if you’re able to see into the future now, wait a few days until your feet are back on the ground before implementing anything new.

Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You are happy to remain in motion today, yet you’re secretly unsure that you will have a place to stop and rest later. However, your best friends might not even notice your anxiety, especially if you believe that you’re doing others a favor by keeping your needs quiet. After all, sharing your feelings now would only complicate your life. But don’t blame anyone else for a lack of support unless you’re willing to disclose more of your emotional process. Confiding in someone you trust might ease your mind more than you think.

Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You may be quite sentimental about your memories today as a current experience reminds you of a forgotten past event. Unfortunately, nostalgia isn’t emotionally fulfilling now, so you might look forward to the big changes ahead. Think before you speak, and be careful that your outspoken approach doesn’t hurt an old friend or lover. Ultimately, letting go of the past allows you to move freely into the future.

Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

A discussion with a close friend can be very fulfilling today. Normally, you’re attracted to practical conversations that can help you along on your journey through life. But now you’re more interested in sharing your fantasies with someone who won’t judge everything you say. There’s no reason to feel guilty about your desire to escape from reality. If you can let yourself go, you will return to your chores refreshed and ready to work.

Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

It’s difficult to express yourself clearly today because your desires are bouncing all over the place. Unfortunately, once you start talking, you quickly display a wide range of emotions, challenging others to keep up with your mood swings. Nevertheless, a more thoughtful approach enables you to minimize any uncertainty that arises from a breakdown in communication. Exploring your feelings by writing in a journal is a sensible way to ground yourself before sharing your feelings.

Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

The Moon’s shift into your dreamy sign increases your awareness today, allowing you to be even more intuitive than usual. But another person’s inability to comprehend your irrational approach to life might make you feel insecure now. It’s not necessary to respond to criticism or accusations; instead, be proud of your natural creativity, sensitivity and compassion.

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Daily General Horoscopes for June 8

Aries

As Mercury, planet of communication spends his first full day in your home and family sector he’s giving you a chance to begin the process of opening the communication lines on the home front. This is the first planetary activity you’ve had on the home front this year and it comes just as you’re moving into some defining and busy weeks on the work front. From the get go, do what you can to ensure you have the right work/life balance.

Taurus

The money gods have been hard at work in your chart over the last few days, with just the second lunar eclipse in your financial sector in a decade and the second and last Venus eclipse in your income sector, in your lifetime, falling within 2 days of each other. This has put all your cards on the table and on the income front in particular has created a new sense of resolve and despite any pressure or intensity, a new sense of confidence.

Gemini

Both the lunar eclipse in your relationship sector earlier in the week and the Venus eclipse 2 days ago all involved the Sun and have already shaped the coming year, whether you realise it or not. You will always be confronted by a Full Moon during your birthday month, making sure that you’re not asleep at the wheel and the Sun and Venus will often align in your sign, giving you a clear sense of what you want from the future. What was different this year, was the strength of the message and the wake up calls.

Cancer

While the internal focus and a sense of nostalgia will remain Mercury, planet of communication has had enough of that. Mercury has returned to your sign bringing the first planetary activity for the year and while your new solar year and birthday month won’t begin for another 13 days, this gives you a head start. Expect the mental fog to clear from today, giving you a lot more mental clarity.

Leo

Your one real escape from life’s pressures and realities is a growing sense of camaraderie in your chart. With the laws of attraction and synchronicity in play, it’s a sense of togetherness that is making being a team player more important than ever. On both the personal and professional fronts, it’s when you’re linking up with others that you’ll feel the most support and you’re more likely to find your wings.

Virgo

Life has become a lot more professionally focused over recent weeks and this is only going to continue, making it important to hold onto the balance between work and play that you’ve worked hard to achieve. It’s Mercury’s return to a social and serendipitous part of your chart that has helped put things into perspective, ensuring that the communication lines are open when it comes to personal and professional networking.

Libra

Just 3 days after Neptune turned retrograde in your work sector, bringing an active phase on the work front to an end and beginning the review phase, Mercury has returned to open new doors on the career front. While Mercury himself is only here for 2 weeks, with the Sun returning before he leaves and then Venus in early August, this is when new doors start to open. Mercury’s intellectual savvy gives you a chance to review your options.

Scorpio

After a financially dominated week to date and even more financial forces building, there is a chance for some light relief and a different perspective today, as Mercury settles into a more adventurous part of your chart. Mercury is only here for a few weeks, but creates a chance to open your mind to things in life that are free or to the options across all the currencies of your life. At what is a highly charged time for money matters Mercury is here to remind you that it’s not all about the money.

Sagittarius

The Moon leaves your income sector today, just hours after Mercury returned to your financial sector, keeping the focus on your money game but bringing a shift in dynamics. Yet if you can hold onto the financial instincts and the nose for money the Moon leaves you with and the smart head for money Mercury is now bringing into play, this will give you a real edge. The first planetary activity in your financial sector for the year gives you a chance to bring things up to speed.

Capricorn

Mercury, planet of communication has broken free from the forces on the work front, returning to your relationship sector just 4 days before Jupiter, planet of luck is due to leave your romantic sector. You’ve reached a point of no return, with the professional focus only intensifying over the coming weeks, but you have a chance today to counter this with equal focus on your personal life. It starts with a chance to open the communication lines.

Aquarius

Mercury’s return to your work sector has been a small step by a small planet but a giant leap as far as your professional year is concerned. You’ve had no planetary activity in either of your professional houses since the Sun left your career sector last November and while Mercury is only here for 2 weeks this smart and intellectually savvy energy kicks off a professional phase that won’t run its course until 2015.

Pisces

Mercury’s return to your romantic and creative sector is destined to have a big impact over the coming months, even though he’s only here for 2 weeks. At what is an important time on the relationship front this creates a chance to bring a sense of romance back into play, as well as a chance to give your heart a voice and to put heart and mind on the same page. All of a sudden simply going through the motions is no longer enough.

Weekend Lunar Love Horoscope for June 8 – 10

Weekend Love: Lunar Love

by Jeff Jawer

From Head to Heart

June 8 – 10

There’s a journey from head to heart this weekend, starting on Friday with the brainy Aquarius Moon providing the distance needed to see beyond emotions to gain a more objective picture of relationships. Happily, an imaginative little Mercury-Neptune trine adds creativity to communication and spurs romantic dreams.
There’s a shift in the lunar winds with the Moon’s entry into supersensitive Pisces on Saturday afternoon. This emotionally enveloping sign is most comfortable in the realms of dreams, intuition and spirituality. The Moon’s conjunction with surreal Neptune makes the night perfect for indulging fantasies. Escaping reality may limit good judgment and common sense, but who cares about practicalities when we’re dancing with abandon and loving without limits. However, skin is thinner than usual now, increasing vulnerability and, for some, uncertainty. But this is not the time to worry about tomorrow or even the realities of the moment. Compassion, connection and communion are more important now than whatever the future might bring.
Sunday continues this sweet trend of flowing with feelings. It doesn’t matter who we’re with or what we do as long as we are kind and forgiving. There are no scores to settle or any serious issues to address at this time. Tenderly accompanying someone in his or her moment of need dissolves boundaries and invites intimacy without expectation. There’s no finer gift than the one we receive when we open our hearts to others.

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Daily Love & Romance Horoscopes for June 8

Aries

While there is a heavy focus on both your relationships and communication at the moment, in just a few weeks time your romantic situation will get the first real boost of the year. While you can’t make this happen any sooner than it’s scheduled for, you can make sure that you’re ready by working now to make your life as love friendly as possible.

Taurus

The way to make the most of Mars’ final weeks in your romantic sector is not to approach love with fearfulness or hesitancy, but with a bold and fearless approach. You’ve reached a point where your greatest fear should no longer be getting it wrong but living to regret not having taken more risks.

Gemini

With Venus, planet of love in retrograde motion in your sign and Saturn in retrograde motion in your romantic sector, on the romantic front the focus is on the past and the door to second chances and to old feelings. Yet on the relationship front the focus is on the future and where a lunar eclipse earlier in the week may have shaken things up, it was a reminder that it’s time to move on.

Cancer

As the Moon leaves your relationship sector he’s likely to leave some strong emotional responses in his wake, after a visit that is likely to have stirred things up and pushed buttons to a much stronger degree this time around. Yet this is an advantage, for it’s into this energy that Mercury has returned to your sign, giving you a voice.

Leo

After an extraordinary few days on the romantic front the Moon returns to your relationship sector today, giving you a chance to not only give your relationships some much needed attention, but to channel some real magic into your relationships. Focus less on relationship issues and more on how you can spice things up.

Virgo

With Neptune in retrograde motion in your relationship sector and Pluto in retrograde motion in your romantic sector, the only planet influencing things on the personal front that is still in direct motion is Chiron, planet of healing. But with Chiron turning retrograde in just 4 days time it seems there is no escaping the past or its old ghosts.

Libra

The Moon’s return to your romantic sector today offers light relief, just as relationship pressure is starting to take hold. This also gives you a chance to keep things in perspective, with an intuitive read on your heart and its emotional responses giving you a better idea on what any pressure or tension is trying to tell you.

Scorpio

A lot of water has passed under the bridge since Jupiter first returned to your relationship sector last June and since things first began moving on the relationship front last April. Now in the final days of summing things up it’s more about the path you want your relationships to take and about where to from here.

Sagittarius

While a Venus eclipse in your relationship sector 2 days ago is magical, it was also very raw and having revealed what you really want and need from your relationships, the gap between that and reality may be hard to face. Yet there is a need to trust that the love gods are on your side and closing that gap is a lot easier than you might think.

Capricorn

Mercury’s return to your relationship sector has brought the first planetary activity for the year, giving you a chance to kick things off with communication and words. Mercury is only here for 19 days, but as the planet of communication he’s here to ensure that things start off the way they can continue.

Aquarius

While Mercury has left your romantic sector, his position here over the last 2 weeks and over the last few days in particular has allowed you to put heart and mind on the same page and wear both on your sleeve. As you move into some very game changing romantic times work to ensure your heart retains that voice, now that Mercury has moved on.

Pisces

Mercury’s return to your romantic sector since Mars is in his final and most urgent weeks in your relationship sector might create some competition, but both will benefit from activity in the other. Mars and your relationships will benefit from the spirit of romance Mercury is now bringing into play and the voice this is able to give your heart.

Daily Chinese Horoscopes for June 8

Rabbit

The key to communication today is to keep in mind that no matter how critical someone may seem, they actually have your best interests at heart. So, if someone takes you to task over your diet, exercise patterns or commitment to medical treatments, remember, they love you.

Dragon

The way you make, save, and invest your money for the future has been undergoing a lot of dramatic changes lately, and you could benefit from finding an established professional or expert advisor. Make sure that you find someone who understands your unique needs.

Snake

Open your eyes and close your mouth. You will tend to be temperamental and somewhat anxious, and are vulnerable to saying the wrong thing at the worst moment. Don’t let yourself be goaded into confrontations that you can’t win, especially with relatives and loved ones.

Horse

In the morning you will feel lazy, self-indulgent and unfocused, and that feeling could intensify throughout the day. That may be just as well, ironically, because any new initiatives you would start in the afternoon may have to be rethought.

Sheep

You may find that your energy and the attitude of a friend are at odds right now. You have been through some spiritual changes and they haven’t kept up with the changes in your values. You may find they are asking you a lot of challenging questions today.

Monkey

You may find yourself at odds with authority figures, possibly those individuals in your family, or the family of your partner, who hold the purse strings or the keys to the big parties you’d like to attend this year. You will not be in the mood to schmooze and may be forced to play the “genteel host or hostess”.

Rooster

This is not the time to sink a large amount of money into a trip, and it is definitely not a good time to put travel or educational expenses on your credit cards. Resist the impulses coming from your itchy feet and sink that money into savings or paying down debts.

Dog

This is your day to make amends for an offense you caused someone recently. You may not quite be ready to say you were wrong, and if you are not sincere, then it may be better that you wait until you feel you truly understand the other person’s point of view.

Pig

You may feel impatient with a loved one or partner right now, but it’s not really them that is the problem – there is a meddlesome parent or family member somewhere in the picture. Talking things out could bring up an ideal way to sort out the differences.

Rat

You may have to spend money on medications or herbal remedies today. Be sure that you understand how different medications and herbs can react before you start any new treatment schedule. You will feel better if you know more about your own health.

Ox

Listen to the children in your life. If you are not a parent, and don’t have nieces or nephews, go borrow a friend’s kids and just pay attention to what they come up with. Cosby and Linkletter observed that kids say the darndest things – they are often a profound source of wisdom, too.

Tiger

Family members may seem to be determined to be contrary today. Instead of trying to get them to see your point of view, try putting yourself into their shoes. The change in perspective could bring the answers you need to put everyone back into harmony again.

the daily humorscopes for friday, june 8

the daily humorscope

Friday, June 08, 2012

Aries

(March 21 – April 19)

You would be ill-advised to try to shoot kidney beans out your nose, today. (Yes, I know you were thinking of it.)

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

Go wild today! Try a different brand of ramen noodles — or even go so far as to sprinkle a little chopped green onion over them!

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

You will think of something hysterically funny, but not have anyone to tell it to.

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

Good day to go around “nudging” people.

Leo

(July 23 – August 22)

You’re fussing with your hair too much. Perhaps you should temporarily cut back on shampoo. Or at least demand real poo.

Virgo

(August 23 – September 22)

Would you just Stop? Nobody else feels the need to dance around like that…

Libra

(September 23 – October 22)

While idly doodling on a notepad, today, you will accidentally draw a symbol sacred to an ancient voodoo deity, and will open a gap into part of the astral plane that is even less appealing than Akron, Ohio.

Scorpio

(October 23 – November 21)

You will stack furniture in the bathtub, today. That’s just the sort of thing you would do, your friends will say.

Sagittarius

(November 22 – December 21)

Chaos will ensue, when you are accidentally hit by a motorist, just as a bus full of lawyers specializing in insurance claims is passing by on the way to a conference. The bus will literally erupt into a heaving mass of clawing, screaming, and briefcase-bashing lunatics. Eventually they’ll take out a class-action lawsuit against you.

Capricorn

(December 22 – January 20)

Beware the Ides of March. Also, if you have a friend named “Brutus”, it might behoove you to be a trifle more selective…

Aquarius

(January 21 – February 18)

You will see an ancient symbol appearing in the whorls of your fingerprints. That, combined with the dreams of apocalypse may make you worry. I wouldn’t though — it’s just a vitamin B12 deficiency.

Pisces

(February 19 – March 20)

You should look into some of that new “dream interpretation” software. That recurring dream about being naked in a hot tub with the Pope and Bill Gates is probably a really common one.

Your Daily General Horoscopes for June 7th

Aries

During yesterday’s very rare Venus eclipse the planet of love crossed over the face of the Sun in your communication sector, revealing all the feelings and words your heart needs to express. With Mercury, planet of communication leaving your communication sector today, but not before helping you to find your voice, do what you can to ensure that the communication lines remain open, with a new sense of authenticity possible.

Taurus

Just a day after the Sun and Venus aligned to form a very rare Venus eclipse in your income sector Mercury moves on, leaving you with the smart head for money that allows you to manage what has been a dramatic few days on the money front. Having had a lunar eclipse in your financial sector and a Venus eclipse in your income sector within 2 days of each other has brought most things to a head.

Gemini

Having the Moon in your financial sector as Mercury returns to your income sector is giving you both an advantage and a disadvantage. On one hand this ensures that your financial instincts are sharp as a smart head for money kicks in, but this also puts them in opposition, creating some financial tension. Yet even then this creates some timely wake up calls, as your income situation gets its first planetary support for the year.

Cancer

Even though there is a lot of internal focus at the moment, with an abundance of planetary forces in an internally focused part of your chart, this has created an opportunity for some inner discovery that could be life changing. With Jupiter, planet of luck getting involved next week, this isn’t something you should fight and should instead embrace it, especially as this gives you a chance to transform your world from the inside out.

Leo

The Moon has returned to your work sector for one last visit before Jupiter, planet of luck and expansion leaves your career sector in just 5 days time. When Jupiter leaves your career sector next week Pluto, in retrograde motion in your work sector, will be the only planet active on the professional front, with the Moon giving you a chance today to tap into the very forces that will keep your professional year on track. Trust your hunches and your professional instincts.

Virgo

When Venus travelled across the face of the Sun in your career sector yesterday, in a rare Venus eclipse, it put your professional desires and reality on the same page, allowing you to see what you want, where things stand and what’s possible. With Jupiter, planet of luck and expansion just 6 days away from your career sector, you’re starting to wake up to the fact that things have changed and the roll that you’re now on.

Libra

Hold onto a sense of adventure, a sense of curiosity and an awareness of how many options life has, for despite the fact that new doors are about to open on the career front and life does go on, this feeling is here to stay. Something has shifted and it’s no longer okay to simply go through the motions, with the more you wake up to what you’ve been missing out on, the less willing you’ll be to remain sitting on life’s sidelines.

Scorpio

Over the last few days you’ve experienced a lunar eclipse in your income sector and an even rarer Venus eclipse in your financial sector, bringing all sides of your money game to a head. As Mercury wraps up his short visit to your financial sector he’s working to leave you with the smart head for money needed to work with the financial forces this has unleashed. While the stars incline they don’t control, with a need to take your power back.

Sagittarius

It’s clear that the relationship forces in play are not only evolving but that there are some real shifts taking place. Just 3 days ago a lunar eclipse brought some real wake up calls while a Venus eclipse yesterday saw the planet of love step in and take control. With even more shifts ahead, but with the planet of luck about to get involved, there’s a need to trust that the love gods are on your side. What is essential is having the communication lines open.

Capricorn

All of a sudden things have become a lot clearer on the work front, as you start to realise just how many options you have. It’s in his final hours in your work sector that Mercury is giving you the intellectual savvy to make some smart choices, decisions and plans and to work smarter. This is very much an evolving situation, with some major shifts over the coming days, with a need to have a game plan flexible enough to allow for this.

Aquarius

What makes it easy to tap into the playful and romantic energies in play at the moment, making heart lead themes so dominant, is that you have no planetary influence in either of your professional houses and haven’t all year. However, that’s about to change and as the doors get ready to open on the work front there’s an urgent need to find a balance between work and play. For where you’re going playful and professional forces will both dominate.

Pisces

If it’s starting to feel like you’re at the bottom of your own priority list and you’re starting to wonder when it’s going to be your turn, the answer is now. There is a shift today that might not be felt at the time but will over the coming days, as the heavens finally get around to paying a playful, romantic and fun focused part of your chart some attention. If life has become too serious of late, the change comes from a shift in mental focus.

Your Daily Career Horoscopes for June 7th

Aries

The Moon’s position in your career sector and the professional instincts this sharpens are not only of use on the income and work fronts, where you’re able to make some real progress, but in warding off any potential problems. With work/life balance issues more likely to come to a head over the next few weeks, nip as many in the bud as possible.

Taurus

Whether it comes to reviewing where you’ve been or looking ahead to your professional objectives for the rest of the year, do so with an open mind and one that reminds you that it’s all about the journey. The road to success is always under construction and a sense of hindsight is always revealing how things could be improved.

Gemini

While forces on the career front take a back seat and while you wait for the new next wave of planetary activity to kick in on the work front, you have a chance to focus more on the money. You’re at the brink of the 3 most active income months of the year, with a chance now to start asking where the money is.

Cancer

If a lunar eclipse in your work sector 3 days ago brought things to a head on the work front, then it’s a slow and sustained professional pressure that is going to ensure there is no going back. This isn’t the kind of pressure that creates debilitating stress, rather the kind that pushes you to raise the bar and tap into your fighting spirit.

Leo

The timing of the Moon’s monthly visit to your work sector is spot on, for it comes just as some work pressure is starting to develop and just 5 days before lucky Jupiter is due to leave your career sector. This allows you to see through any pressure or urgency, allowing you to remain on your toes without sweating the small stuff.

Virgo

During yesterday’s Venus eclipse in your career sector the genie was let out of the bottle and there is no putting it back in, having revealed in all its bold statements and glaring reality exactly what you want, where things actually stand and the gulf between the two. This may have left you with a daunting task, but it’s one that you have to believe can be accomplished.

Libra

While things are settling down on the work front and you now have a chance to work behind the scenes, new doors are about to open on the career front, with a new wave on its way. With things about to heat up take a proactive approach to dealing with any work/life balance issues, taking a smart approach before anything is forced on you.

Scorpio

It’s from today that Uranus, on his own in your work sector and due to turn retrograde next month and therefore should be taking a more background role, starts to come back out of the shadows. It’s pressure from Pluto that is making it hard for things to settle down on the work front, with your mind and the laws of synchronicity just too active.

Sagittarius

At what is a critical time on both the career and work fronts, the Moon makes a timely return to your income sector, giving you a nose for money and some timely wake up calls. At a time when you’re defining your path forward on both the work and career fronts knowing where the money is, is a key element.

Capricorn

Yesterday’s Venus eclipse in your work sector is likely to have created some bittersweet feelings, for it exposed the depths of your true desires, some stark realities and the distance between the two. Had this been any ordinary year this might have been a problem, but with lucky Jupiter on his way no divide is too wide to bridge.

Aquarius

While your day will begin like any other day so far this year, with no planetary activity in either of your professional houses, it won’t stay that way. It’s Mercury’s return to your work sector that will kick off an active 3 months on the work front and the start of a wave of professional momentum that will eventually become game changing.

Pisces

With the Moon gone from your career sector things are settling back down on the career front, but having come to a head the genie is now out of the bottle and there is no putting it back in. Whatever is out in the open or has come to a head needs to stay that way with a need to now do what you can, with what you’ve got, from where you’re at.

The Daily Love & Romance Horoscopes for June 7th

Aries

In his final hours in your communication sector Mercury, planet of communication is working to ensure that the communication lines are open, especially on the relationship front. With some of the best romantic and relationship conditions of the year still in front of you, communication has become more important than ever.

Taurus

Love not only needs to be taken as a journey but one without a roadmap, where it’s more about the journey itself than the destination. It’s not about taking the wrong path, especially as it’s on those dead ends or paths that simply loop around to where you started that you’re likely to learn the most.

Gemini

Over the course of the last 3 days you’ve experienced a lunar eclipse in your relationship sector and a rare Venus eclipse in your sign, with the planet of love bringing some old buried or suppressed feelings and desires to a head. With the door still open to second chances on the romantic front any wake up calls have come just in time.

Cancer

During the Moon’s monthly visit to your relationship sector he wouldn’t be doing his job if this didn’t push some buttons and evoke some strong emotional responses, but chances are these are a lot stronger today. Find a balance between not sweating the small stuff and refusing to stick your head in the sand.

Leo

There is a real sense of magic and synchronicity in the air and after experiencing a lunar eclipse in your romantic sector 3 days ago and a Venus eclipse in a social and serendipitous part of your chart yesterday, a sense that anything is possible. These are serendipitous times, with a need to take your hands right off the wheel.

Virgo

As the Moon makes his monthly visit to your romantic sector this gives you a chance to get an intuitive read on your heart and to test the waters, as Pluto travels deeper into his retrograde phase here and deeper into your past. With Neptune now in retrograde motion in your relationship sector a trip down memory lane is likely to reveal some unexpected surprises.

Libra

One of the most important keys to having things running smoothly on the relationship front is to also having them running smoothly on the home front and that’s even more important than ever. With home and relationship forces destined to go head to head over the coming weeks, the more you can have them working together the better.

Scorpio

When Jupiter, planet of luck leaves your relationship sector in 5 days time he won’t return until 2023 and with no more planetary activity in your relationship sector until April 2013, this is a time for putting everything on the line. As the Moon makes his last visit to your communication sector before Jupiter leaves, seize the opportunity this creates to ensure the communication lines are open.

Sagittarius

You’re in the grip of relationship forces that can’t be explained and chances are you’re still wondering what just hit you, after yesterday’s Venus eclipse in your relationship sector brought some very raw, honest and real desires, feelings and yearnings to the surface. You can no longer deny how you really feel, with that genie now out of the bottle.

Capricorn

At the same time that Jupiter is performing his swan song in your romantic sector Mercury, planet of communication is warming up in the wings, ready to give your relationships some much needed attention. With a lap over between the two, keep the spirit of romance strong and work to inject as much of this into your relationships as possible.

Aquarius

Whether yesterday’s Venus eclipse in your romantic sector brought joy, magic or pain it brought what was real to a head, giving you something to work on or towards. With Jupiter just 5 days away from the start of his 12 month visit to your romantic sector, this has made it possible to start from a place that is real and that you can build on from.

Pisces

While Mercury, planet of communication won’t begin the day in your romantic sector he’ll end the day here, not only making his first visit in nearly a year, but bringing the first planetary activity since last September. At last your romantic situation has representation and it all begins with your heart finding its voice.

The Daily Chinese Horoscopes for June 7th

Rabbit

You will definitely be the social hub of family, friends and loved ones right now, and just about all the news is good. The phone will be ringing off the hook with this person from that place talking about the wonderful news about so and so over there … spread the joy. This is one time where gossiping is definitely a good thing.

Dragon

Your intuition could lead you to wonderful bargain opportunities today, especially where it comes to antiques and investments. You may be considering investing in some changes to your home. Renovations that you start now may involve tearing down the old to make way for the new.

Snake

You have strong leadership skills right now and people are eager to hear what you have to say. Mostly you’ll be talking about tearing down old structures. Make sure you have a plan to replace them with something new! You could be looking at making financial adjustments so you can better help others.

Horse

All the information your subconscious has been mulling about for the past while suddenly bubbles up to the surface and a wellspring of creativity is yours to tap. You may be making some extra money with a dynamic new home-based business involving art or entertainment.

Sheep

Friends and companions are a big feature of the day. If you are hosting a party or gathering, make sure that there are toys, snacks, and treats for little ones, and a place for them to nap. Others may bring along their kids without notifying you.

Monkey

You’ll be getting some excellent career news this week, as you find yourself attractive and interesting to the authority figures who are important to your well-being. There are certainly challenges, you may find your personal time is limited, but the potential rewards are great.

Rooster

You could be considering buying a new car or investing in a new and unusual form of transportation today. If you are looking for a new physical activity or exercise, bicycle riding could be the dual-purpose hobby you need. It both gets you places and gets you fitter.

Dog

There is a wonderful and unusual opportunity for you to radically transform your finances and your attitude towards the way you make money. Someone will talk about making your money work for you instead of simply working to make money. Listen carefully to their advice!

Pig

If you and your significant other are not seeing eye to eye today, it may not be the best time to bring up your vacation plans, even if that makes for a welcome change of subject. If you want to surprise your partner with a spontaneous trip, make it to some place that they have always wanted to go.

Rat

Your workplace will be something of a circus today. Someone’s workplace romance has burst out into the open and that has the office gossips all a twitter. If you are not involved, try to avoid the rumour mill. Loose lips can sink friendships.

Ox

You have an opportunity to make a special new friend. You will be drawn to unusual people and could make strange or interesting new relationships. You may find that your new companion has some strange ideas about the world and your place in it.

Tiger

A major opportunity to improve your home becomes apparent today. You’ll be considering new home improvements, renovations and upgrades. What you may not realize at first is that some things have to be torn down before they can be rebuilt. It’s a big job.

the daily humorscopes for thursday, june 7th

the daily humorscope

Thursday, June 07, 2012

Aries

(March 21 – April 19)

Excellent day to come up with new theories to explain the universe around you. Remember: the simplest explanation is usually the best. For example, most physicists today subscribe to the “Big Band” theory of the creation of the universe. I have an alternate theory that I prefer, which I call “Tuba Ensemble.”

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

You will discover, today, that you can whistle and hum at the same time. This will entertain you for hours.

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

Try to praise in public and criticize in private. Just never, ever, criticize privates.

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

Your relationship is reaching the point where you may as well discuss the Big Question – there’s no point in going further if you don’t see eye to eye on that. By Big Question I’m referring to “crunchy” versus “creamy”, of course. Why, what did you think I meant?

Leo

(July 23 – August 22)

This might be a good time to recontextualize your imponderables. If you know what I mean.

Virgo

(August 23 – September 22)

Nobody will notice your new haircut, which you will find intensely irritating. It’s not as if you always had an irridescent green mohawk, you know?

Libra

(September 23 – October 22)

Today you will become a digger. Dig, dig, dig. That’s all you’ll think of, for months. You will discover an amazingly large diamond, about 27 feet down, and will be fabulously rich after that. Not that you’ll give me any credit, of course. Ingrate!

Scorpio

(October 23 – November 21)

You are being followed by fierce warriors of the Nez Perce tribe. You know – those guys with the little frameless glasses on the chains around their necks? Not surprisingly, many of the Nez Perce became fierce librarians.

Sagittarius

(November 22 – December 21)

Thrombosis. Beware. Also, your best friend will rush up and indicate by nonverbal means that Timmy is trapped under a log again.

Capricorn

(December 22 – January 20)

Someone will soon approach you with an idea. Stay well clear of it.

Aquarius

(January 21 – February 18)

Today you will notice yet another large freshly-dug mound of dirt in your neighbor’s back yard. It’s probably nothing — he probably just digs at night if he can’t get to sleep. I know I do.

Pisces

(February 19 – March 20)

One part of you really wants something, and another part of you wants to wait. It’s quite normal, actually, to have these little internal arguments. Just don’t let it escalate into a fist fight.

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