A Little Humor for Your Day – The Five Secrets of a Perfect Relationship

The Five Secrets of a Perfect Relationship

1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks and cleans from time to time, and has a job.

2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.

4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It’s very, very important that these four women don’t know each other.

 

Source;

JokeWarehouse.com

And One for the Road, Full Moon Fruition Spell

I over did it on the spells this morning. So I figured why let a good spell go to waste, save it for later. So here’s one for the road! Enjoy!

 

Full Moon Fruition Spell

A Full Moon is the perfect time to bring things to fruition. If you have something in your life that is hanging in the balance, this is the spell for you.

Items You Will Need:

Parchment seal
Dragons or Doves Blood ink
Brown Candle
Sprinkling Herbs or Spell Powder
Fireproof vessel

The Spell:

On the Full Moon, gather your ingredients and depending on your needs will dictate what Seal, herbs and Blood ink you need to use. Eample, If you have a house closing that is just not going through, use a Parchment seal for Earthly matters, herbs could be (powdered) Bay leaves or Earth Spell Powder and ink, Doves blood. Carve into your candle three symbols for the Moon, light candle. Write in “Blood Ink” on parchment seal your name and date of birth along with any other appropriate symbols. Sprinkle a SMALL amount of herbs or Spell Powders on your parchment seal, focus on seeing your need fulfilled, light tip of seal in candle flame and place in vessel, and as it burns recite this incantation:

“On this right and ready hour,
I call upon the mystic powers. ,
Secret parchment, ancient fires,
bring to me my hearts desire.,
Let the wheels in motion roll,,
All I seek will now unfold.”

Let candle burn out or snuff before leaving.

Author: Fumiva

The Witches Magick For April 14th – Full Moon Wishing Spell

Moon & Witch Comments & Graphics
Full Moon Wishing Spell

This is a good spell to ensure a wish comes true.

Items You Will Need:

1 Glass of Juice/Wine

 

The Spell:

At night, under a full moon go outside with a glass of juice/wine. Look up at the moon and tell her exactly what you wish, visualizing the wish coming true, be specific and explain in as much detail as possible. When complete lift you glass in a toast to the moon goddess and say, with more visualization of the wish coming to being:

“Lunar Goddess, look and see
This goblet that I offer thee,
It is yours for all you do
Gracious one of silver hue.”

 

Pour your juice/wine into the soil in belief that your wish will be granted.

Let’s Talk Witch – Lunar Phases’ Magick

Moon & Witch Comments & Graphics

Lunar Phases’ Magick

New Moon workings can be done from the day of the new moon to three-and-a-half days after.
The new moon is for starting new ventures, new beginnings. Also love and romance, health or job hunting.

Waxing Moon Magic:
From seven to fourteen days after the new moon.
The waxing moon is for constructive magic, such as love, wealth, success, courage, friendship, luck or health.

Full Moon Magic:
From fourteen to seventeen-and-a-half days after the new moon.
Prime time for rituals for prophecy, protection, divination.
Any working that needs extra power, such as help finding a new job or healings for serious conditions, can be done now. Also, love, knowledge, legal undertakings, money and dreams.

Waning Moon Magic:
From three-and-a-half to ten-and-a-half days after the full moon.
The waning moon is used for banishing magic, for ridding oneself of addictions, illness or negativity.

Dark Moon Magic:
From ten-and-a-half to fourteen days after the full moon.
The dark moon is a time for dealing with attackers, for exploring our darkest recesses and
understanding our angers and passions. Also bringing justice to bear.

Long Term Healing Spell

Long Term Healing Spell

 

Supplies:

  • a feather
  • rosemary oil
  • a shell
  • a stone
  • an onion
  • a horseshoe

 

Directions:

This spell is good for slowly healing long-term illnesses.

Write the name of the person you wish to heal on the onion. (You can either use your athame to inscribe it or use a pen; it’s fine either way…)

Plant the onion in a pot or garden. Put a stone to the north, 3 drops of rosemary oil to the south, a shell to the west, and a feather to the east. Cover the objects with soil.

Place the pot on the horseshoe, or place the horseshoe close by if the onion is planted in the garden.

Freedom from Pain Spell

Freedom from Pain Spell

 

Think intensely about the person you want to free from pain. Visualize them in pain and agony, then visualize the pain fleeing from them as you chant the following nine times (three sets of three):

Wrap thee in cotton,
Bind thee with love,
Protection from pain,
Surrounds like a glove,
Brightest of blessings,
Surround thee this day (night),
For thou art cared for
Healing thoughts sent in flight.

White Candle Wound Healing Spell

White Candle Wound Healing Spell

 

Supplies:

  • 4 white candles
  • A photograph of the person you are helping.

 

Directions:

This ritual works best while facing east. If you feel better asking for permission if you’re going to work this ritual on someone else, go ahead. Arrange the candles and picture on your altar or workspace as follow:

               white candle
  white candle    Photo     white candle
               white candle

 

Invoke guardians and welcome your Gods. Concentrate on the subject receiving these magickal healings. Identify the problem that needs correcting. Light the candle facing east. As you do this, say:

Candle burn,
shine your light.
Take what’s wrong
and make it right.

 

Repeat with candle facing south.

Repeat with candle facing west.

Repeat with candle facing north.

Take time now to imagine the healing powers generated by these candles flowing into the subject of the ritual. Chant:

Dispell the agony,
let these wounds heal.
Banish the suffering,
no suffering to feel.

 

As you say this, imagine your subject surrounded by a healing, protective light that shines brighter each time you repeat the chant.

Thank the guardians and the Lord and Lady. Either extinguish the candles or allow them to burn out. Dispose of the candle remnants. It works best if you throw them into a river or bury them near a healthy tree, plant, or flower.

A Little Humor for Your Day – ‘I Want To Be 6 Again…..’

I Want To Be 6 Again…..


To Whom It May Concern:

I hereby officially tender my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old again. I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them. I want to play kickball during recess and paint with watercolors in art. I want to lie under a big Oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summers’ day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. When all you knew was to be happy because you didn’t know all the things that should make you worried and upset.

I want to think that the world is in my youth… I matured and I learned too much. I learned of nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, starvation and abused children. I learned of lies, unhappy marriages, suffering, illness, pain and death I learned of a world where men left their families to go and fight for our country, and returned only to end up living on the streets…begging for their next meal. I learned of a world where children knew how to kill … and did!!

What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we didn’t grasp the concept of death, when we thought the worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last for kickball?

I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again. I want to return to the days when reading was fun and music was clean. When television was used to report the news or for family entertainment and not to promote sex, violence and deceit. I remember being naive and thinking that everyone was happy because I was. I would walk on the beach and only think of the sand between my toes and the prettiest seashell I could find. I would spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike. I didn’t worry about time, bills or where I was going to find the money to fix my car. I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, not worry about what I’ll do i this doesn’t work out. I want to live simple again I don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.

I want to be 6 again.

Author Unknown

 

The Witches Magick for April 11th – Visualization to Get Rid of Fear

Witchy Comments & Graphics
The Witches Magick for April 11th – Visualization to Get Rid of Fear

 

This is a good technique using herbs, visualization and relaxation to deal with difficulties. Though we have made suggestions for your visualization, try first of all to allow your own mind to create an image for you. Ask yourself, “What does my fear look like?”

You will need:

Some herbs for courage (such as Basil, Garlic, Mullein, Nettle, Thyme)

A red candle

METHOD

Construct your sacred space; spread the herbs around it.

Put the candle in front of you, then say the following three times:

 
Hear me, I call upon courage
To relinquish the holding ties of fear,
Break them, leave me, far away,
Let them not be near.
 

Now lie down quietly for 10 or 15 minutes, breathing deeply and concentrating on fear fading away into the atmosphere (cosmos).

You might use a symbol to represent fear. For example, you could use a visualization of a heavy weight which becomes lighter or the word ‘Fear’ itself in large letters which either breaks up into its individual letters and disappears or becomes smaller the more you concentrate on it.

Let the candle burn out on its own.

Collect up the herbs and candle and bury them in the earth.

Try to do this as far from your home as possible. (This will help you stave off your fears and doubts.)

Source:

Natural Magic: Spells, Enchantments & Self-Development
Pamela Ball (2002-11-20).

Witches Magick for Thursday, April 10th – Turn the Tables Spell

Gothic Comments
Witches Magick for Thursday, April 10th – Turn the Tables Spell

 

Turn the Tables Spell

Is someone making your life difficult? Turn the tables on the person with this spell.

Items you will need:

Candle
Candleholder
Small Mirror
A photo of your tormentor (if available)
Matches
 

The Spell

1. Place the candle in its holder and set it on top of the photo at one end of a table. If you can’t obtain a photo, inscribe your enemy’s name on the candle—the ca ndle represents the person who’s causing you trouble.

2. Light the candle, then seat yourself at the other end of the table.

3. Hold the mirror so that it reflects the flame and say aloud:

 

“Behold, this mirror is my shield.
Your wicked ways will be revealed.
Any evil that you do
Will instantly turn back to you.”
 

4. Imagine the mirror deflecting harm away from you and back onto the other person.

5. When you’ve finished, snuff out the candle.

6. Hand the mirror on the outside of the door to your home or office to ward off unwanted energies.

7. Melt the candle completely and bury the residue along with the photo far from your home.

Moon Money Spell

Moon Money Spell

Done During the Full Moon
Fill your cauldron half full of water and drop a silver coin into it.
Position the cauldron so that the light from the moon shines into the water.
Gently sweep your hands just above the surface, symbolically gathering the Moon’s silver.
While doing this say:

“Lovely Lady of the Moon, bring to me your
wealth right soon. Fill my hands with silver and gold.
All you give, my purse can hold.”

Repeat this three times. When finished, pour the water upon the earth.

The Witches Magick for Wednesday, April 9th – Apple Tree Wealth Spell

Book & Candle Comments

The Witches Magick for Wednesday, April 9th – Apple Tree Wealth Spell

April Tree Wealth Spell

 

Items you will need:

3 slices of bread

A cup of apple cider

 

The Spell:

You will need to locate a fruiting apple free to do this spell. Place the slices of bread on the tree branches and pour the cider onto the roots. As you do this say:

 

“Blessed be, fruiting apple tree
Now bring great wealth to me
Hats full! Pockets full!
Bushed by bushel-sacks full!
Thank you, great apple tree
Blessed be! So shall it be!
 

As the apples grow and ripen, so will your wealth

Seax-Wiccan Psalm

Book & Candle Comments

Seax-Wiccan Psalm

 

Ever as I pass through the ways do
I feel the presence of the Gods.
I know that in aught I do they are
With me. They abide in me and I in
them, forever.
 
 
No evil shall be entertained, for
purity is the dweller within me and
about me. For good do I strive and
good do I live.
 
Love unto all things.
So Be It, forever.
 

 

Source:
From Buckland’s Complete Book of Witchcraft
By Raymond Buckland

Today’s Tarot Card for April 8th is The Moon

The Moon

Tuesday, Apr 8th, 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What has traditionally been known as the Moon card refers to a deep state of sensitivity and imaginative impressionability, developed within a womb of deep relaxation. Here we dream and go into trance, have visions and receive insights, wash in and out with the psychic tides, and experience deep mystical and/or terrifying realities beyond our ordinary senses. The full moon and/or eclipse cycle charted by the Magi (as in some of the earliest Moon card images) exemplify this as a mechanism that Nature uses to expand consciousness.

The variants of the courtly lovers (representing skillful use of the sex force) or the man sleeping it off under the tree (use of drugs to alter consciousness) are also traditional avenues for tapping this primal force. Human interest in higher states propels us to the frontiers of consciousness, where we cannot always control what happens. The Moon card represents the ultimate test of a soul’s integrity, where the membrane between self and the Unknown is removed, and the drop of individuality reenters the Ocean of Being. What transpires next is between a soul and its Maker.

Witches Magick for Tuesday, April 8th – Charm for Courage

Witchy Comments & Graphics

Witches Magick for Tuesday, April 8th – Charm for Courage

Items You Will Need:

Jewelry Items

Musk or Cedar Oil

Obtain a piece of jewelry. Any sort will do as long as it is something that you like enough to wear frequently. Rub a bit of oil into the piece and chant:

“I imbue you with courage, and bravery, and nerve.
I empower you with self-confidence, so you may serve
My needs when anxieties attempt to emerge
Eradicate them; let new confidence surge.”
 

Wear the jewelry as needed.

Source:

Everyday Magick
Author: Dorothy Morrison

 

Faery Flower Power Blessing

Faery Flower Power Blessing

Say this blessing to draw the divine favors of the flower faeries to you.

You will need fresh flowers for this blessing.

After dark, go outdoors to the highest point in your nearby surroundings, for example, a hilltop, ridge, mound, your balcony, or a vista point. Draw a small circle of green light around the area in which you will be standing or sitting. Scatter the flowers clockwise in a circle around you. Stand or sit facing north. Merge with the divine, and hold your arms upward in the Goddess/God position. Say this blessing:

Helpful and friendly fae

Please enrich my life with your powers

Every second, minute, and each hour

I ask for your blessing and protection

Tonight, and every night

May my mind flow with creativity

May my body flow with well-being

May my spirit flower with grace

By the helpful and friendly fae,

So Be It! Blessed Be!

Leave the flowers as an offering to the helpful faeries. Close the circle when you are done.

Celestial Power Spell

Celestial Power Spell

Use this spell to gain rapport with the powers of the moon, stars, and planets.

Spread a white altar cloth on your altar after dark. Use a white candle and meditative music. Light the candle and turn on the music. Take several deep complete breaths, in and out. Merge with the divine, with Oneness, and say:

Moon, stars, planets, and celestial powers
Please open your spirits to me
Moon, stars, planets, and celestial powers
Please open your hearts to me
Moon, stars, planets, and celestial powers
Please open your arms to me
Moon, stars, planets, and celestial powers
Please lend your wisdom to me
Thank you for your celestial energy, Blessed Be!
 

Now, gaze at the candle and meditate on the powers of the moon, stars, planets, nebulas, and other celestial formations, lending their wisdom to you and filling you with celestial light. Do this for at least fifteen minutes. Allow the candle to safely burn down when you are finished.

WOTC Extra – Male Fertility Charms

Celtic & British Isles Graphics

Male Fertility CharmsThis is a list of various charms to use/carry to help promote fertility. ~Men should carry a piece of mandrake root to ensure their won fertility and sexual prowess, while the jasmine flower does the same for women.

The first seven herbs listed above can be added to food and take internally to ensure proper fertility, or they can be introduced into sachets, as can acorns, myrtle and nuts.

~Bull Amulet: To increase fertility in women and men, wear a bull shaped amulet, or place on under the bed before making love.

~Fish Amulet: An amulet shaped like a pair of fish and made of gold or mother of pearl will increase fertility and virility, bring prosperity and offer you protection from people you hate or who have evil intentions.

~Goat Amulet: The symbol of the goat (sacred to Aphrodite and the Horned God) increases fertility when worn or carried as an amulet, and is especially favorable for those born under the sign of Capricorn.

~Ram Amulet: An amulet in the shape of a ram will increase fertility in women.

~Unicorn Amulet: The unicorn is a ancient symbol of chastity and protection, and it’s fabled born was said to be used in medieval times as an amulet to detect poisons in the food or drinks of kings, queens, pontiffs and popes. To promote fertility or increase sexual magnetism, wear any type of amulet jewelry shaped like a unicorn.

 The Witches Magick for Monday, April 7th – Fertility Spell

Celtic Comments & Graphics

Fertility Spell

 

Items You Will Need:

Patchouli oil
Sandalwood incense
2 pine cones
3 wheat heads
Green Candle
Green marker and paper
 

Rub the oil on the candle and anoint yourself around the womb area with a drop of oil.
Light the candle and incense and place the pine cones and wheat into a cauldron or container.
Visualize your magickal goal and use the marker to draw yourself on the right hand side of the
paper as you are now – draw yourself as you want to be on the left side (flat belly – pregnant belly
will do just fine) visualize your goal while drawing – when you feel you’ve visualized enough tear the paper in half and fold the left side with your goal drawn on it into a small square and place it in your pocket then light the other paper in the candle flame and place it in the cauldron to burn.

Chant or pray for your goal to be realized as you watch the paper burn. Bury the contents of the
cauldron in your yard – preferable a garden – leave an offering of a small crumb of cake on a crystal plate for any good spirits or fairies who might happen by.

Stay positive so you don’t attract the attention of any jealous or bad fairies! Keep the paper with your goal drawn on it with you at all times until your wish is granted then you can place it in a safe place for luck