A Laugh for Today – Best Witch Jokes That Will Bewitch Your Children or Inner Child (the Sequel)

From kidadl.com

Knock Knock Jokes About Witches

Everyone loves a classic knock knock joke and we’ve bubbled up some good ones in our cauldron of jokes here, including one that only Harry Potter fans will get. Watch out muggles! Remember these jokes on Halloween and you’ll be sure to give everyone a real fright.

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Witch

Witch who?

Witch one of you can fix my broomstick?

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Witches

Witches who?

Witches is the way to go home?

 

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Wanda

Wanda who?

Wanda go on a ride on my broom?

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

You know

You know who?

Exactly!

Funny Witch Puns

Witch pun out of these lot will be your favourite? It’s hard to choose, with so many funny puns to put on your list to use in October. We love the idea of putting these on signs at a Halloween party or perhaps using them in any spooky homework assignments or crafts in the lead-up to the scariest night of the year.

Betwitcha in a minute.

Witch and famous.

A witch in time saves nine.

Arts and witchcrafts.

That’s witch-ful thinking.

You’ve got me under your spell.

Witch witch is witch?

Keep witch under your hat.

Want to be broom mates?

Archangel – Uriel

How to Recognize Archangel Uriel from learnreligions.com

Archangel Uriel, the angel of wisdom, often gives people sparks of inspiration and motivation as they seek to live faithful lives. You can count on Uriel to help shine the light of God’s wisdom into your life, believers say. Here are some signs of the angel Uriel’s presence:

Help Discovering God’s Wisdom

Since Uriel specializes in helping people discover God’s wisdom, Uriel may be visiting you when you gain new insights about the best decisions to make in various situations, say believers.

Uriel directs your focus to the one he serves: God, write Linda Miller-Russo and Peter Miller-Russ in their book Dreaming With the Archangels: A Spiritual Guide to Dream Journeying: “Uriel will help you focus your consciousness on the eternal presence of the Creator with gratitude and appreciation for the divine plan of life.”

In his book Uriel: Communication With the Archangel For Transformation and Tranquility, Richard Webster writes that Uriel will help you discover God’s prophecies by using your God-given intuition: “Uriel is the archangel of prophecy and is willing to help you develop your psychic powers and intuitive skills. He can provide insights through visions, dreams, and sudden perceptions. Once he knows that you are interested in developing these talents, he will provide regular, ongoing assistance.”

The guidance that Uriel provides can prove useful for everyday situations, such as solving problems or engaging in conversations, writes Doreen Virtue in her book Angels 101: “The archangel of light can illuminate your mind with wise ideas and concepts. Call upon Uriel for problem solving, brainstorming, or important conversations.”

Help Developing Confidence

Knowing that you can rely on Uriel to give you regular doses of wisdom gives you valuable confidence, believers say.

In her book The Healing Power of Angels: How They Guide and Protect Us, Ambika Wauters writes: “Archangel Uriel helps us live our worthiness and find our freedom from abusive situations which diminish our value. Archangel Uriel heals any loss of self-respect. He helps us find empowerment in our own value so we can shine our light on to the world and claim our good.”

Sparks of Electricity

Since Uriel often sparks our minds with fresh ideas, he sometimes manifests physically through electrical signs, writes David Goddard in his book The Sacred Magic of the Angels: “Uriel has a great affinity with that mysterious force called electricity. His presence is often heralded by electrical appliances fusing and light bulbs failing; he also manifests in thunderstorms.”

Motivation to Serve Others

Uriel, who is in charge of the red angel light ray (which represents service), wants you to take the wisdom he gives you and put it into action to serve people in need as God leads you, say believers. So when you feel an urge to reach out to serve others, that may be a sign of Uriel’s presence with you.

“Archangel Uriel is an angel of service,” write Cecily Channer and Damon Brown in their book The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Connecting With Your Angels. “He knows that service to others is what brings true richness, true rewards, and true inner peace. Archangel Uriel encourages people to create peace with others, humbly serve fellow brothers and sisters, see beyond the material world, and be loyal to worthwhile causes.”

Help Serving Others

Not only will Uriel motivate you to serve people in need, but he will also empower you to do so, writes Webster in Uriel: Communication With the Archangel For Transformation and Tranquility. “If you feel the need to serve or help others in any way, Uriel is willing to do everything he can to help you. … anything that you do to benefit humanity or the world will receive his help and support.”

Source: Hopler, Whitney. “How to Recognize Archangel Uriel.” Learn Religions, Feb. 8, 2021, learnreligions.com/how-to-recognize-archangel-uriel-124286.

April 1, 2023 Daily Horoscopes

Click here to read Georgia Nicols Daily Horoscopes

Moon Alert

There are no restrictions to shopping or important decisions today until 11 PM PDT. The Moon is in Leo.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

This is the beginning of a lovely weekend for Aries. Accept invitations to socialize with others because this is a friendly time for you. In particular, you will enjoy playful activities with kids as well as social outings, sports events, the theatre, movies and entertaining diversions.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Although your focus is on home, family and your private life this weekend, nevertheless, you will also enjoy entertaining at home. You want to feel secure in familiar surroundings; and yet, you also want to feel you’re involved with a group or something bigger than yourself.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

You’re in a great mood today! Get out and enjoy communicating with others because you have something to say! Short trips will appeal. You will also enjoy learning something new and getting in touch with siblings, relatives and neighbours. Busy you!

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Financial matters look excellent for you today and tomorrow. Some of you might see ways to boost your earnings. Meanwhile, trust your moneymaking ideas because they might be worthwhile. If shopping, keep your receipts because you will be tempted to go overboard.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

This is a great weekend for you because the Moon is in your sign. This means things will tend to go your way, even though you will be more excitable and emotional. Do something to get away from all this. Any change of scenery will be a welcome stimulation.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Although you want to travel and do something different because you feel you need a change of scenery; nevertheless, you also want to slow down and take it easy this weekend. You want to indulge yourself and pamper yourself in a personal way. That’s just fine. Invest in yourself because you are your best resource.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

This is a great day to schmooze with others because you actually feel the need to be in contact with friends. In particular, groups and gatherings will appeal to you because you want to feel involved and part of the scene. Because your ambition is aroused, others will listen to you. “Now hear this.”

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

People notice you today. In fact, they seem to know details about your life, which is why they will reach out to talk to you. (This might be a good thing – or not.) You will accomplish the most today by working with others, especially people from other cultures or contacts in other countries.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

This is a great time for a vacation, especially if you can get away somewhere different. Even a weekend getaway will be satisfying for you. The thing is you want a change of scenery and you want the stimulation of new faces, new places and fresh activities. You will also enjoy learning something new.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Family discussions will go well today, particularly because issues about shared property, money and practical help will benefit you. It’s a good day to discuss how to share something, perhaps an inheritance. It’s also a good time to discuss how to share responsibilities.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Today you have to go more than halfway when dealing with others, which is not a big deal. In fact, you will enjoy being involved with groups and casual settings or social occasions. You will also enjoy entertaining at home.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

This is an excellent day for business and commerce. Look for ways to boost your income. Explore financial negotiations and opportunities for a better paying job. Trust your moneymaking ideas because today, you’re not afraid to think big. Confidence!

If Your Birthday Is Today

Actress Annette O’Toole (1952) shares your birthday today. You are an optimist who is flexible and fast-changing. You follow your heart’s desire. You are also multitalented and interested in many things. This year’s about socializing and enjoying life and your relationships with others. Nurture the happiness and beauty that you have within yourself.

April 1, 2023 Moon Goddess Current Phase

You can use this link to go forward or backward in time for Moon phase information. If you are curious, you can even find out what phase the Moon was in when you or anyone else was born.

From MoonGiant.com

Moon Phase for today: Apr 01, 2023

The Moon’s current phase for today and tonight is a Waxing Gibbous phase. Visible through most of the night sky setting a few hours before sunrise. This phase is when the moon is more than 50% illuminated but not yet a Full Moon. The phase lasts about 7 days with the moon becoming more illuminated each day until the Full Moon. During a Waxing Gibbous the moon rises in the east in mid-afternoon and is high in the eastern sky at sunset. The word Gibbous first appeared in the 14th century and has its roots in the Latin word “gibbosus” meaning humpbacked.

Visit the April 2023 Moon Phases Calendar to see all the daily moon phase for this month.

Today’s Waxing Gibbous Phase

The Waxing Gibbous on April 1 has an illumination of 80%. This is the percentage of the Moon illuminated by the Sun. The illumination is constantly changing and can vary up to 10% a day. On April 1 the Moon is 10.41 days old. This refers to how many days it has been since the last New Moon. It takes 29.53 days for the Moon to orbit the Earth and go through the lunar cycle of all 8 Moon phases.

Phase Details

Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Illumination: 80%
Moon Age: 10.41 days
Moon Angle: 0.49
Moon Distance: 405,196.72 km
Sun Angle: 0.53
Sun Distance: 149,509,390.21 km

The 8 Lunar Phases

There are 8 lunar phases the Moon goes through in its 29.53 days lunar cycle. The 4 major Moon phases are Full Moon, New Moon, First Quarter and Last Quarter. Between these major phases, there are 4 minor ones: the Waxing Crescent, Waxing Gibbous, Waning Gibbous and Waning Crescent. For more info on the Moon Cycle and on each phase check out Wikipedia Lunar Phase page.

Useful Moon Resources

April 1, 2023 Northern Hemisphere’s Planetary Positions

If you need to calculate the planetary positions for a specific use and time, click on this link

Currentplanetarypositions.com

To figure out GMT (Greenwich Mean Time) to your local time use this link  

For Your Local Time and Date 

Northwestern Hemisphere

This local time is in Los Angeles, California, USA

April 01, 2023
10:00 pm GMT 3:00 PM PDT
Zodiac: Tropical (Standard Western)

Sun:11 Aries 55
Moon:23 Leo 32
Mercury:26 Aries 57
Venus:19 Taurus 06
Mars:03 Cancer 40
Jupiter:19 Aries 20
Saturn:02 Pisces 49
Uranus:16 Taurus 51
Neptune:25 Pisces 45
Pluto:00 Aquarius 09

True Lunar Node:04 Taurus 13 Rx
Mean Lunar Node:05 Taurus 23 Rx

Lilith (Black Moon):09 Leo 20

Chiron:15 Aries 38
Ceres:27 Virgo 50 Rx
Pallas:18 Cancer 41
Juno:12 Taurus 13
Vesta:23 Aries 44

Eris:24 Aries 26

Fire:8
Earth:6
Air:1
Water:4
Cardinal:8
Fixed:8
Mutable:3

Northern Hemisphere

This local time is in Chicago, Illinois, USA

April 01, 2023
08:00 pm GMT 3:00 PM CDT
Zodiac: Tropical (Standard Western)

Sun:11 Aries 50
Moon:22 Leo 32
Mercury:26 Aries 48
Venus:19 Taurus 00
Mars:03 Cancer 37
Jupiter:19 Aries 19
Saturn:02 Pisces 49
Uranus:16 Taurus 50
Neptune:25 Pisces 45
Pluto:00 Aquarius 09

True Lunar Node:04 Taurus 14 Rx
Mean Lunar Node:05 Taurus 24 Rx

Lilith (Black Moon):09 Leo 20

Chiron:15 Aries 37
Ceres:27 Virgo 51 Rx
Pallas:18 Cancer 39
Juno:12 Taurus 10
Vesta:23 Aries 42

Eris:24 Aries 26

Fire:8
Earth:6
Air:1
Water:4
Cardinal:8
Fixed:8
Mutable:3

Northeastern Hemisphere

This local time is in Frankfurt, Germany, Europe

1 April 2023
03:00 pm GMT 3:00 PM CEST
Zodiac: Tropical (Standard Western)

Sun:11 Aries 37
Moon:20 Leo 03
Mercury:26 Aries 26
Venus:18 Taurus 45
Mars:03 Cancer 31
Jupiter:19 Aries 16
Saturn:02 Pisces 47
Uranus:16 Taurus 50
Neptune:25 Pisces 44
Pluto:00 Aquarius 09

True Lunar Node:04 Taurus 14 Rx
Mean Lunar Node:05 Taurus 24 Rx

Lilith (Black Moon):09 Leo 18

Chiron:15 Aries 37
Ceres:27 Virgo 53 Rx
Pallas:18 Cancer 35
Juno:12 Taurus 02
Vesta:23 Aries 36

Eris:24 Aries 26

Fire:8
Earth:6
Air:1
Water:4
Cardinal:8
Fixed:8
Mutable:3

1 April 2023 Southern Hemisphere’s Planetary Positions

If you need to calculate the planetary positions for a specific use and time, click on this link

Currentplanetarypositions.com

To figure out GMT (Greenwich Mean Time) to your local time use this link  

For Your Local Time and Date 

Southeastern Hemisphere

This local time is in Sao Paulo, Brazil, South America

1 April 2023
06:00 pm GMT 3:00 PM BRT
Zodiac: Tropical (Standard Western)

Sun:11 Aries 45
Moon:21 Leo 32
Mercury:26 Aries 39
Venus:18 Taurus 54
Mars:03 Cancer 35
Jupiter:19 Aries 18
Saturn:02 Pisces 48
Uranus:16 Taurus 50
Neptune:25 Pisces 45
Pluto:00 Aquarius 09

True Lunar Node:04 Taurus 14 Rx
Mean Lunar Node:05 Taurus 24 Rx

Lilith (Black Moon):09 Leo 19

Chiron:15 Aries 37
Ceres:27 Virgo 52 Rx
Pallas:18 Cancer 38
Juno:12 Taurus 07
Vesta:23 Aries 39

Eris:24 Aries 26

Fire:8
Earth:6
Air:1
Water:4
Cardinal:8
Fixed:8
Mutable:3

Southern Hemisphere

This local time is in Cape Town, South Africa

1 April 2023
03:00 pm GMT 5:00 PM SAST
Zodiac: Tropical (Standard Western)

Sun:11 Aries 37
Moon:20 Leo 03
Mercury:26 Aries 26
Venus:18 Taurus 45
Mars:03 Cancer 31
Jupiter:19 Aries 16
Saturn:02 Pisces 47
Uranus:16 Taurus 50
Neptune:25 Pisces 44
Pluto:00 Aquarius 09

True Lunar Node:04 Taurus 14 Rx
Mean Lunar Node:05 Taurus 24 Rx

Lilith (Black Moon):09 Leo 18

Chiron:15 Aries 37
Ceres:27 Virgo 53 Rx
Pallas:18 Cancer 35
Juno:12 Taurus 02
Vesta:23 Aries 36

Eris:24 Aries 26

Fire:8
Earth:6
Air:1
Water:4
Cardinal:8
Fixed:8
Mutable:3

Southwestern Hemisphere

This local time is in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

1 April 2023
04:00 am GMT 3:00 PM AEDT
Zodiac: Tropical (Standard Western)

Sun:11 Aries 10
Moon:14 Leo 35
Mercury:25 Aries 36
Venus:18 Taurus 12
Mars:03 Cancer 17
Jupiter:19 Aries 10
Saturn:02 Pisces 45
Uranus:16 Taurus 48
Neptune:25 Pisces 43
Pluto:00 Aquarius 08

True Lunar Node:04 Taurus 16 Rx
Mean Lunar Node:05 Taurus 26 Rx

Lilith (Black Moon):09 Leo 15

Chiron:15 Aries 35
Ceres:27 Virgo 59 Rx
Pallas:18 Cancer 27
Juno:11 Taurus 46
Vesta:23 Aries 23

Eris:24 Aries 25

Fire:8
Earth:6
Air:1
Water:4
Cardinal:8
Fixed:8
Mutable:3

A Thought for Today – 15 Short Pagan Funeral or Memorial Service Poems

(Side Note from Lady Beltane: This might seem a bit morbid to some of you, but this is the 54th anniversary of my dad’s crossing the veil. This year it has been harder to deal with his birthday March 25th and crossing day April 1st. He was only 36 years and 7 days old and I was only 11 years and 11 months on the day he crossed.)

From joincake.com by Sam Tetrault

Choosing the perfect poem for a funeral or memorial service is no simple task. Poetry has the power to explore our most complex feelings and memories. Yet, it can be challenging to find the right match to suit your needs.

Jump ahead to these sections:

Poems not only remind us of the ones we love and help us say goodbye, but they bring peace in a time of suffering. With so many funeral poems to choose from, which is right for you? If you’re planning a pagan funeral, pagan poetry connects tradition with the ritual of saying goodbye to those you love.

We put in the work to identify the best short pagan funeral or memorial service poems. These are powerful ways to say goodbye to someone you love while remembering that they live on through your memories. Whether you’re planning a memorial for a Pagan, a lover of nature, or you’re simply looking for inspiration for the spiritual person in your life, this list is for you.