Tag: Capricorn

Dragons of Saturn

Dragons of Saturn

 

Notes: Perform on a Saturday and/or during the waxing Moon, with the Full Moon being strongest. A black or indigo candle.

Day: Saturday.

Color: Black, indigo.

Metal: Lead.

Stones: Onyx, jet, pearl, star sapphire.

Plants: Aspen, balm of Gilead, bistort, boneset, juniper, myrrh, patchouli, storax, yerbaBuena, yerba mate.

Rules: Capricorn, Aquarius.

Oils: Balm of Gilead, cypress, high John the conqueror, musk, myrrh, patchouli, styrax.

Rituals Involving: Knowledge, familiars, death, reincarnation, protecting buildings, binding, overcoming curses, protection in general, retribution, duties, responsibilities, influences, doctrines.

Physical Chant:

Clear out the negative. Bring in the good.

Bind up my enemies, curses and all

Protection for me and my loved ones here

Send from your great dark hall.

Mental-Emotional Chant:

Responsibility and duties should not weigh down

The body and mind as mine have done,

Show me the Karma that I must smooth

So the Battle might be won.

Spiritual Chant:

Through the coils of mists and time

I seek my karmic paths to know

That I might reach new heights sublime

And spirituality expand and grow.

the daily humorscopes for wednesday, february 8

the daily humorscope 

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Try to work the words “happenstance” and “ineffable” into your conversation today. It turns out that most people believe any sentence that has the word “ineffable” in it. Such as that one.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You will meet a tough challenge in a very resourceful way, today, using only a Swiss Army Knife, a transistor radio, and oven cleaner.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Everyone who drives by today will stick their head out their car window, give you a big dopey look, and flop their tongue around in the wind. If you had known this was “act like a dog” day, you might have been better prepared.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Beware the Ides of March. Also, if you have a friend named “Brutus”, it might behoove you to be a trifle more selective…
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
What you are about to do is wrong. Of course, you will only find that out much later. For now, enjoy yourself!
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Not a good time to go forth and conquer. Try going fifth, and hover in the background.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Through a casual remark in an elevator, you will realise that both you and your fellow passenger have seen John Cleese’s informational film called How To Irritate People. By the time you reach the 10th floor, you will both be severely vexed with one another.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Try to avoid nibbling on things today. Despite recent developments, you don’t actually know your friend that well yet.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You will get a notion to become a street food-vendor, and will make yourself a food serving cart for the “Bulghur Baron”. You will sell pint containers of hot bulghur wheat, cooked with sauteed onions, garlic, and other vegetables. To everyone’s amazement, you’ll succeed fabulously, eventually making millions off the franchise rights alone.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
It was a simple mistake, which anyone could have made. What’s more, now you know better. I think, though, that the expression is too widespread for you to actually get it changed to “never look a gift horse in either end”.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
You are being stalked by an invisible mutant from Planet 7. Or at least, you’ll find that this makes an excellent excuse for not doing those outside chores today.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Someone will ask “How are you?” for the millionth time. You should celebrate the occasion by having a speech prepared – something embarassingly intimate is usually best. “Glad you asked, Bob. I’m having a darned tough time getting rid of these pesky genital warts, for one thing…”

Today’s Cosmic Calendar for Saturday, February 4th

Stop worrying about things you can’t change. Take some of yesterday’s advice to heart and really be here now as the Sun reaches 15 degrees of Aquarius. What is so important about 15 degrees of Aquarius? The middle point of each of the four fixed signs of the zodiac – 15 degrees of Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius – are the maximum power places in the 360-degree circle of the zodiac. As each season begins with the Sun at one or another of the four cardinal points (0 degrees of Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn), when the solar orb moves 45-degrees or half-way though that season, it strikes the motherlode of cosmic intensity by reaching 15 degrees of the fixed signs. That is why today can be a thrill ride and magical journey into higher learning since hidden spiritual currents are being released into the mind, heart and soul of humanity. If you are ready for a personality transfiguration, this may be as good a time as any – particularly since Ceres parallels Chiron (3:36AM PST), the Moon makes a supportive, 60-degree link to giant Jupiter (3:54AM PST), Mercury forms an inspirational, 72-degree contact with Juno (9:17AM PST), and Vesta makes a similar association with distant Pluto (8:45PM PST). These four aspects help you in enhancing productivity across the board, healing old wounds, expanding your consciousness, checking out the latest fashion and style shifts in society as well as increasing the value of your investments. The Moon continuing its monthly transit in Cancer can represent a cornucopia for experts in the realm of antique buying and selling. Cooking, baking and nostalgic trips down memory lane in exploring your ancestral tree are highlighted.

Calendar of the Moon for Jan. 28th

Calendar of the Moon

Rowan Tree Moon

Color: Orange-red
Element: Fire
Altar: Upon a cloth of orange-red set a row of red candles, Brigid’s cross, and a bell.
Offerings: Votive candles. Quicken a newborn idea into birth.
Daily Meal: Hot drinks with every meal. Keep food warm.

Luis/Gamelion Invocation

Call: Now is the quickening of the year.
Response: Now is the time of the first movement.
Call: Now the child stirs in the womb.
Response: Now the seed stirs in the earth.
Call: Now the plains flood and our fire is threatened.
Response: Now the cold water drowns our spark.
Call: Now is the time of the hard struggle.
Response: Now is the month of desperation.
Call: Now is the time of desperation to live.
Response: Now is the time of desperation to be born.
Call: We turn in our sleep as the earth turns.
Response: We dream with the sleeping earth.
Call: Each of our dreams is a lit candle in the dark.
Response: Each of our dreams is a single point of hope.
Call: They shine faint and alone in the night of struggle.
Response: They are alone as we are alone.
Call: Yet we are not alone in our dreams.
Response: We are not alone!
Call: We will keep our fires burning.
Response: We will burn against the night!
Call: We will warm our dreams with the force of life.
Response: We will not die alone in the cold!
Call: We will ward off all evil.
Response: Only good shall pass our gates.
Call: We will care for each other.
Response: We will never cease to care!
Call: We will survive the winter.
Response: We will survive!
(Repeat last two lines twice more.)

Chant:
Protect the flame that warms your dreams
And dreams shall never die.

New Moon Report for Jan 27th – Mercury in Aquarius

New Moon Report

by Jeff Jawer

 

Mercury in Aquarius

Friday, January 27, 10:12 am PST, 1:12 pm EST

Intelligence matters with clever Mercury in cerebral Aquarius. We can break out of our usual patterns of perception to understand the world from different angles. Cooler heads allow us to step out of the shadows of emotion and discover new concepts. However, friendly conversations may stimulate minds but could be less successful at touching hearts.

Calendar of the Moon for Jan. 23rd

Calendar of the Moon
23 Luis/Gamelion

Day of Boannan

Color: White
Element: Water
Altar: On a white cloth set a blue bowl filled with water and small polished stones.
Offerings: Small paper boats set afloat on a river.
Daily Meal: River fish.

Invocation to Boannan

Lady of the River
Wash us clean in your rippling waves.
Lady of the Onward Flow
Carry us into our future
And safely home to our lives.
Lady of the Fishes
Nourish and provide for us.
Lady who lay with the Oak Tree
And bore him the newborn Sun,
River mother, mountain mother,
Lady of clear springs and cold water
Wherein lies sacred talking fishes,
Lady whose cool hands stroke us
And whose blood flows cold
Out to the unforgiving sea,
With each sip of water we take
We will remember your name.

Chant:
River go on, river go on forever
River run through my heart

(Let one who has been chosen to do the work of the ritual bring the bowl of water to each person in turn, and let them drink from it, and then pour the rest out as a libation to Boannan.)

Cosmic Calendar for January 22

If you were able to move through yesterday’s celestial labyrinth without too much trouble, give yourself a pat on the back. You still have to deal with the galloping intensity of the dark-of-the-moon vibrations – when the lunar orb is nearing its monthly rendezvous with the Sun, but which is pushed back in time to 11:40PM PST tonight with the New Moon energizing 3 degrees of Aquarius. The 23+ hours before this moment sees an increasing wave that suggests the need to close down old business and projects on a high note. However, this implies that it is extra hard to utilize this morning’s Moon-Mercury union in Capricorn (4:03AM PST) in a forward-moving, assertive manner. Instead, you can sharpen some of your communication and literary skills. This is amplified several hours later when Venus forms a parallel with Saturn (1:21PM PST). This Venus-Saturn contact also gives you a partial boost with business, artistic and professional matters. Make note of the short void lunar cycle that starts at 5:39PM PST and ends at 6:54PM PST when the Moon enters service-oriented Aquarius. As mentioned earlier in this calendar entry, the moment of the New Moon – 11:40PM PST – is the key time when the dark-of-the-moon vibes dissolve and the universe recharges your electro-magnetic batteries, urging you to join others in group, team and community activities that have a ring of goodwill surrounding them.

Cosmic Calendar for Jan. 21st

turday, January 21, 2012

 

Are worries and nervous tension giving you a psychic headache that won’t seem to dissipate? You may be tuning into Monday’s upcoming Mars turnaround – where the red planet shifts from moving forward in Virgo to doing backflips for approximately 80 days. Helping you cope with the increasing martial energy-field are a Moon-Venus supportive, 60-degree tie (6:01AM PST) and a similar hook-up between the Sun and Uranus (5:22PM PST). However, these two favorable sky patterns are separated by nearly half the day and they may not be able to neutralize discordant vibes coming from the monthly Moon-Pluto union in Capricorn (4:33AM PST), Pallas making an abrasive, 45-degree tie to Pluto (7:32PM PST), an off-kilter, 150-degree link from Mars to Pallas (8:29PM PST), the Moon parallel to Pluto (10:04PM PST) and a feisty, unsettling Sun-Jupiter square from Aquarius to Taurus (10:36PM PST). The cosmos is clearly ruffling many of its feathers, and the shadowy, dark-of-the-moon monthly cycle is also gaining power as the next New Moon happens late tomorrow night. Do your best to make some breakthroughs in higher consciousness and tap into Uranian-endowed flashes of genius along the way. The Moon in Capricorn continues to stimulate your overall urge to reach loftier career milestones.

Wishing You A Very Blissful and Relaxing Weekend!

Days of the Week Comments= Hello, dear friends! I hope you are having a great weekend. I have got my days and nights screwed up. I stayed up almost all of last night and the night before. Around 4:00 p.m., I take a 2 hour nap and that’s it. I am so sleepy I can’t see straight. So if you see, “zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,” across the screen, you know what is going on, lol!  

 

Have a great weekend and get plenty of rest!  

 

Now On With The Magick……  

 

Correspondences for Satuday 

Magickal Intentions: Spirit Communications, Meditation, Psychic Attack or Defense, Locating Lost Things and Missing Persons, Building, Life, Doctrine, Protection, Knowledge, Authority, Limitations, Boundries, Time and Death

Incense: Black Poppy Seed and Myrrh

Planet: Saturn

Sign: Capricorn and Aquarius

Angel: Cassiel

Colors: Black, Grey and Indig

Herbs/Plants: Myrrh, Moss, Hemlock, Wolfsbane, Coltsfoot, Nightshade and Fir

Stones: Jet, Smokey Quartz, Amethyst, Black Onyx, Snowflake Obsidian, Lava, Pumice

Oil: (Saturn) Cypress, Mimosa, Myrrh, Patchouli

Saturn lends its energies to the last day of the week. Because Saturn is the planet of karma, this day is an excellent time for spellwork involving reincarnation, karmic lessons, the Mysteries, wisdom, and long-term projects. It is also a good time to being efforts that deal with the elderly, death, or the eradication of pests and disease.  

 

Spellcrafting for Saturday  

SPELL TO BANISH POVERTY

The moon should be dark or waning. You should perform this on a Saturday.
Take 7 sheets of toilet paper and write: “I banish poverty” On each sheet.
Flush them all down the toilet saying:
I banish poverty.
With each one. Do this every day from the full moon to the dark moon.

 
~Magickal Graphics~

Cosmic Calendar for Friday, Jan. 20th

Some strong changes are in the air – especially as the Sun enters Aquarius (8:11AM PST) for the next 30-day solar cycle in the zodiac. There is always an emphasis on group projects, team sports, community activities and humanitarian movements that are global in nature whenever the Sun activates this sign of the zodiac. Helping you make the most of this transition from the earth sign Capricorn is an inspirational, 72-degree rapport from Mercury to Ceres (12:26AM PST), a similar aspect from Mercury to Uranus (6:46PM PST) while Venus forms a supportive, 60-degree association with Pluto (12:33PM PST). Your productivity in arts, crafts and hobbies can rise while your emotional bonds with dear ones are strengthened. Breakthroughs in consciousness can become more the rule than the exception. Adding to your gains on the productivity front is a constructive, 60-degree alliance of the Sun with Ceres (5:49PM PST). The main challenge comes from a relatively short lunar void cycle that runs from 1:50PM PST to 2:41PM PST (when the Moon shifts from Sagittarius into Capricorn). Hopes should be able to drown out any chorus of fears as the Moon in Capricorn trines Jupiter in Taurus (5:18PM PST) – creating a strong and positive psychic backdrop to the evening hours.

Cosmic Calender for Thursday, Jan. 19th

The Moon in Sagittarius is certainly a robust, stimulating and adventurous type of energy. Weather permitting, exploring the great outdoors and enjoying favorite sports and hobbies are a delight. Meanwhile, the largest asteroid – Ceres – enters Aries (10:38AM PST) for a new round through the 12 signs of the zodiac that lasts until April 14, 2016, over four years from now. It is a good time to shift your nutritional needs on to a higher level. You can be a leader in the fields of gardening and good-food production by taking an active interest in what Mother Nature has to offer humanity. [Ceres will enter Taurus on April 9.] Later today, the Sun at the end of Capricorn forms a square to Saturn at the end of Libra (1:20PM PST). Do everything in your power to avoid getting down on yourself or accentuating a pessimistic mind-set. Hard work and perseverance are the dynamic duo that will lead to eventual worldly success. Realize that tomorrow will bring a solar shift into Aquarius whereas Saturn is slowing down in its daily motion as it will go into reverse on February 7. Uncertainty and confusion can still grip you like a vice this evening as the Sun makes a 30-degree link to Neptune (7:56PM PST) while Mercury forms a frictional, 45-degree tie to Chiron (8:22PM PST). Learn more about alternative medical and holistic healing techniques that can help to eliminate some of the wear and tear on your physical body.

Daily Cosmic Calendar for Jan. 17th

There’s a definite uptick on the relationship front and it comes from a Sun-Juno 60-degree alliance (12:00PM PST) linking Capricorn and Scorpio. The Sun and Juno don’t always make this kind of favorable aspect and your job is to be extra sensitive to dear ones. Be a good listener and don’t just dump your burdens of the shoulders of a significant other. Some confusion may pop up on the artistic horizon and in dealing with investment matters due to Mercury forming a caustic, 45-degree tie to Neptune (1:57PM PST) while the Sun makes the same kind of challenging alignment with Vesta (4:39PM PST). Assisting you in making sure your business affairs are on solid ground is a subtle and yet still uplifting, 30-degree rapport from Jupiter to Uranus (4:14PM PST). This mentally expansive alignment also works on your behalf if you are engaged in advanced studies in all fields of knowledge and wisdom. The love boat travels to exotic ports of call this evening as the Moon forms a supportive, 60-degree link with passionate Mars (11:25PM PST) while the Moon also makes its approach to a monthly union with Juno in Scorpio (happening exactly at 6:56AM PST tomorrow).

Hello, Peeps! Hope you are having a super fantastic weekend!

Days of the Week Comments= Hey gang, has your weekend going? I hope great. The sun is shining here but it rather chilly outside. I have been playing with the blog today. And I know it is late for horoscopes and all that. But I want to make sure everything works the way it is supposed too. I promise everything will be normal tomorrow, I hope, lol!  

Correspondences for Saturday

  Magickal Intentions: Spirit Communications, Meditation, Psychic Attack or Defense, Locating Lost Things and Missing Persons, Building, Life, Doctrine, Protection, Knowledge, Authority, Limitations, boundaries, Time and Death Incense: Black Poppy Seed and Myrrh 
Planet: Saturn 
Sign: Capricorn and Aquarius 
Angel: Cassiel 
Colors: Black, Grey and Indigo 
Herbs/Plants: Myrrh, Moss, Hemlock, Wolfsbane, Coltsfoot, Nightshade and Fir 
Stones: Jet, Smokey Quartz, Amethyst, Black Onyx, Snowflake Obsidian, Lava, Pumice 
Oil: (Saturn) Cypress, Mimosa, Myrrh, Patchouli
Saturn lends its energies to the last day of the week. Because Saturn is the planet of karma, this day is an excellent time for spellwork involving reincarnation, karmic lessons, the Mysteries, wisdom, and long-term projects. It is also a good time to being efforts that deal with the elderly, death, or the eradication of pests and disease.   

Spellcrafting for Saturday

  

TURQUOISE PROTECTION AMULET

The ancients regarded turquoise as a powerful magickal aid to ward off misfortune, illness,
and the evil eye. You can use turquoise to make your own amulet for protection.
To begin, during the waxing Moon take a piece of blue turquoise or an item of blue
turquoise jewelry and hold it in your hand for a moment. In your mind’s eye, picture a
blue light surrounding you. Hold the stone to your heart, and breathe on it to charge it
with your power, saying:
Stone of blue, surround me with protective energy.
I am protected by your soothing blue light.
Carry your turquoise with you or wear it as often as you can.
Handle it frequently to keep the spell active.

 
~Magickal Graphics~

Daily Cosmic Calendar for Jan. 12th

To get to today’s fortunate vibrations, hang in there and keep the faith. First of all, a void lunar cycle in Leo begins when the Moon opposes sometimes chaotic and unreliable Neptune (12:25AM PST). By 1:45AM PST, the void lunar uncertainty zone ends when the Moon enters meticulous and industrious Virgo. Over the next 2+ days, it is wise to shape-shift into being the efficiency master and supreme organizer across the board. Helping you cover all bases is a grand triangle in earth signs as the Moon in Virgo trines Jupiter in Taurus (3:19AM PST) while the Moon moves on to make additional harmonious trines to Mercury (1:34PM PST) and Pluto (3:12PM PST) – both of which are in Capricorn. Stay on track to reach a new career summit or develop new entrepreneurial talents. Putting you over the top is this evening’s vitalizing Sun-Mars flowing trine in earth signs (8:47PM PST). Athletics, exercise routines and construction projects receive reinforcement. Enhance your leadership credentials. It’s not every day when a grand triangle arranged by the Moon happens along with a trine including the solar orb and red planet. Get set for potential psychic and emotional fireworks tomorrow morning as Mercury joins forces with Pluto while Venus becomes cozy with Neptune.

the daily humorscope 

Thursday, January 12, 2012

 

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Arachnids will be especially troublesome today. Chances are only fair that you will make it through the day without tangling with one or more giant Amazonian tarantulas. Keep a stick within reach, is my advice. A big stick.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Although you will attempt to thwart your obsession (tying things up with twine) by avoiding twine for the entire day today, it will continue to plague your thoughts. In other words, you will not knot for naught.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
You will wake with a start tonight, and hear a sound like that of a whole herd of capybara snuffling around in your closet. Fortunately, when you switch on the light, that will turn out to be all it is.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Today one or more close relations will pout. You will stoicly endure this, and will steadfastly refuse to relinquish control of the remote control.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You will feel an odd compulsion to stack books, symmetrically, in the public library. Try to resist it.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Someone will soon approach you with an idea. Stay well clear of it.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Someone who you really dislike, who is arrogance personified…will be nice to you. This is a good time to be afraid.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Good day to appreciate the beauty and wonder of life, and to see how far you can spit. Other people may find that incongruous, but you’ll see the inner truth, and it will set you free.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Paper airplane day, today. Have as much fun as you can stand — tomorrow will be ugly.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Try to avoid nibbling on things today. Despite recent developments, you don’t actually know your friend that well yet.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
So, you’ve decided to have children. Congratulations! You, er, do know that giving birth has been somewhat unfavorably compared to pushing a flaming log through your nostril? Just thought I’d mention that.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Excellent time to start a new company, making software to help people with mental problems. You will call it SchizoSoft. Your motto: “Who Do You Want To Be Today?”

the daily humorscope 

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Today you’ll develop a rare mental disorder, causing you to mix metaphors. But don’t you worry — you can’t make an omlette without a silver lining, and in this case, you’ll discover that everyone will confuse mixed metaphors with management potential. BIG promotion in store.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Good day to remember your kinship with all living things. Except perhaps mildew. There’s no point in remembering your kinship with mildew, at least not today.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Excellent day to walk around wearing a white lab coat and carrying a clipboard.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Thrombosis. Beware. Also, your best friend will rush up and indicate by nonverbal means that Timmy is trapped under a log again.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Remember: loose lips sink ships. The really strange thing is, nobody’s ever been able to explain to me why ships have lips in the first place, especially if they’re that risky.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You’re fussing with your hair too much. Perhaps you should temporarily cut back on shampoo. Or at least demand real poo.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
And old friend will call today, who you haven’t talked to in years. He’ll remind you that you owe him money.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
To your chagrin and horror, you will find yourself humming along with “muzac” in the grocery store. It’s the beginning of the long slow slide, I’m afraid. Next stop: collecting “nick knacks”.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Today you will find a really big piece of lint in your pocket. That’s it, though, for today’s excitement.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
You will make people squirm, today. Surprisingly, some of them will show remarkable talent at squirming.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Twelve freshly cut rods (made from ash) will be found in a peculiar pattern on the lawn. Two large black crows will watch you solemnly from the top of a parked VW Microbus. The weather will turn colder, and the air, although clear, will seem grey. Don’t worry, though, it’s probably nothing.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You will attain your dream of having your own cooking show, but it will become tiresome when you have to battle your way past people dressed as chickens to get into the studio each day.

the daily humorscope 

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You will spend most of the day attempting to tie knots in a piece of cord, using only your toes. You will be unable to say why, but this will seem like a useful skill to you, at the time.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
If you want someone to change, it’s often good to give them a painful option and a less painful option, and let them choose their own course. For example, “Do you want to pick up you own wet towel, dear, or would you like to have a live weasel stapled to your leg?”
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Oh go ahead. You know you want to. Besides, nobody is watching.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Watch out for vines, today. Sometime’s it’s hard to tell the difference between a vine and a creeper, until it’s too late.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Excellent day to study entomology — particularly the order hymenoptera. Be prepared to leap about, howling and whacking your trouser legs.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Between now and the vernal equinox, trust anyone with freckles. After that, trust no one.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Remember that silly song The Monster Mash? Beginning today, you will start sounding a lot like the lead singer in that song.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You will decide to change your life by taking up fishing. Unlike the average person, however, you will be “strictly bass”. One must have standards, after all.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Excellent day to fill some pantyhose with popcorn and do the reindeer dance.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
You will find a biography of some famous dead person, at a garage sale, and buy it on a whim. It will change your life. You will also soon take up bricklaying, as a hobby.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
People will begin complimenting you on how clean you are. You will find this strangely irritating.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Good time to learn to play the harmonica. If you get one of those coat hanger thingies to hang around your neck, you can even play it while you’re typing!

the daily humorscope

Monday, January 09, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You will get together with several friends, and start an extremely exclusive club. Mostly, this will just be so you can have your own secret handshake, of course.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
This will be “one of those days”, I’m afraid. The person next to you on the bus will have taken one of those nitroglycerin capsules for his heart condition, and will be bending over to pick up a newspaper, just as the bus hits a big pothole…
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Beware of galoots, today.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Excellent day, today. Unless today is your 15th birthday, of course, in which case you’re destined to have a particularly embarassing episode involving a cat and an argyle sock.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Your neighbor thinks his dog is so smart, it’s starting to bug you. The thing to do is cover a book with a book cover that says “Quantum Physics for Dogs”, and train your dog to lay next to it, along a pad of paper covered with scribbled equations and a chewed-on pencil…
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
This may be a good time to take up squid farming. Provided that you can figure out what type of hat to wear, that is.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You are coming down with a truly horrendous cold. The kind of cold that makes everyone else miserable, just by looking at you. That’s just the kind of inconsiderate behaviour people are starting to expect from you, too.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
What fun! You’ll be called in to a special meeting at work soon, where someone will have a “pink slip”. Sounds like party attire to me!
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Good day to take up knitting, on horseback. Everyone needs an adventure.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Excellent time to race one of those little Shriners cars up and down the sidewalk twenty thousand million times. Also, you’ll meet an angel, but don’t let on that you know who she really is.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Drip, drip, drip. Dunno. Something like that will be in your life, soon. I’ll bet it’s something good!
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Today will be especially trying, and if you’re not careful, you could end up in a pretty grumpy frame of mind. Take precautions! Wear your E.T. underwear.

Your Horoscope’s Lucky Flowers

Your Horoscope’s Lucky Flowers

  • Annie B. Bond

We can find out our own personal sun-sign connection to the world of flowers. Find out your horoscope flowers so you can bring their colors and fragrances into your life.

We also include a fun quiz that shows what your favorite flower tells you about your personal sense of style. So many ways to bloom! It’s all here:

Aries, March 21-April 19: Thistle, wild rose, gorse, nasturtium, woodbine

Taurus, April 20-May 21: Lily of the valley, violet, wild and red garden rose, myrtle

Gemini, May 22-June 20: Snapdragon, iris

Cancer, June 21-July 22: Poppy, water lily, white rose

Leo, July 23- Aug 22: Marigold, sunflower, cowslip, heliotrope, peony

Virgo, Aug 23-Sept 22: Madonna lily, cornflower

Libra, Sept 23-Oct 22: Violet, white rose, love-in-a-mist

Scorpio, Oct 23-Nov 21: Celandine, purple heather, chrysanthemum

Sagittarius, Nov 22-Dec 21: Carnation, wallflower, clove-pink

Capricorn, Dec 22-Jan 19: Snowdrop, Solomon‘s seal

Aquarius, Jan 20-Feb 18: Snowdrop, foxglove, gentian

Pisces, Feb 19-March 20: Heliotrope, carnation, opium poppy, violet

New Moon Report for Jan. 8th – Full Moon in Cancer

New Moon Report

By Jeff Jawer

 

Full Moon in Cancer

Sunday, January 8, 11:30 pm PST, Monday, January 9, 2:30 am EST

The opposition of the Moon in sensitive Cancer to the Sun in dutiful Capricorn exposes two very different ways of seeking security. Subjective feelings of safety and personal comfort are needed with the Moon in maternal Cancer while hardening our defenses to face the challenges of the world is Capricorn’s task. Should we be tender or tough? Favorable aspects to the Sun and Moon from Mars in skillful Virgo empower us to find healthy ways to move between these two positions. The emotions kicked up by this lunation can show us how to nurture our inner needs while still standing strong in our public lives.