Category: A Laugh for Today

A Little Laugh for Your Day – “Thou Hast Just Received A Virus, lol” c2015

Thou hast just received the Amish Virus.

As we haveth no technology nor programming experience, this virus worketh on the honour system.

Please delete all the files from thy hard drive and manually forward this virus to all on thy mailing list.

We thank thee for thy cooperation.

— The Amish Computer Engineering Dept.

(I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

If you want to see information on any tradition of witchcraft, herbs, flowers, a Goddess or a God, or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!)

A Little Humor for Your Day – “How To Give A Cat A Pill Plus Bonus Instructions!” c.2016

How To Give A Cat A Pill

(with bonus instructions on how to give a dog a pill)

How to Give a Cat a Pill

  1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
  2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
  3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
  4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
  5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from yard.
  6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
  7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
  8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
  9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
  10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.
  11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
  12. Call fire department to retrieve the friggin’ cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
  13. Tie the dang thing’s front paws to rear paws with twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
  14. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
  15. Arrange for Humane Society to collect mutant cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to Give a Dog a Pill

  1. Wrap it in bacon.

 

For more great Pagan humor, visit Turok’s Cabana

A Little Humor for Your Day

 I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

If you want to see information on any tradition of witchcraft, herbs, flowers, a Goddess or a God, or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

A Little Humor for Your Day

 I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

If you want to see information on any tradition of witchcraft, herbs, flowers, a Goddess or a God, or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

A Little Humor for Your Day

 I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

If you want to see information on any tradition of witchcraft, herbs, flowers, a Goddess or a God, or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

Welcome to WOTC! A Thought and a Little Humor for Today

May your and your family’s lives be filled with love, happiness, laughter, joy, and positive things! Blessed be.

 I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

If you want to see information on any tradition of witchcraft, herbs, flowers, a Goddess or a God, or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.

Welcome to WOTC! A Thought and a Little Humor for Today

May your and your family’s lives be filled with love, happiness, laughter, joy, and positive things! Blessed be.

 I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

If you want to see information on any tradition of witchcraft, herbs, flowers, a Goddess or a God, or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.

Welcome to WOTC! A Thought and a Little Humor for Today

May your and your family’s lives be filled with love, happiness, laughter, joy, and positive things! Blessed be.

 I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

If you want to see information on any tradition of witchcraft, herbs, flowers, a Goddess or a God, or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.

Welcome to WOTC! A Thought and a Little Humor for Today

I apologize for the lack of extra posts today. I am in another fibromyalgia flare and it hurts my fingers to type.

May your and your family’s lives be filled with love, happiness, laughter, joy, and positive things! Blessed be.

 I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

If you want to see information on any tradition of witchcraft, herbs, flowers, a Goddess or a God, or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.

Welcome to WOTC! A Thought and a Little Humor for Today

May your and your family’s lives be filled with love, happiness, laughter, joy, and positive things! Blessed be.

 I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

If you want to see information on any tradition of witchcraft, herbs, flowers, a Goddess or a God, or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.

Welcome to WOTC! A Thought and a Little Humor for Today

May your and your family’s lives be filled with love, happiness, laughter, joy, and positive things! Blessed be.

 I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

If you want to see information on any tradition of witchcraft, herbs, flowers, a Goddess or a God, or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.

Welcome to WOTC! A Thought and a Little Humor for Today

May your and your family’s lives be filled with love, happiness, laughter, joy, and positive things! Blessed be. 

 I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

If you want to see information on any tradition of witchcraft, herbs, flowers, a Goddess or a God, or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.

Welcome to WOTC! A Thought and a Little Humor for Today

If the energy of the posts has seemed a little erratic it’s because I started using a nicotine patch on Thursday to quit smoking. Which I have been doing on and off for 50+ years. I never set goals or make a resolution for the new year on January 1st, instead I wait until my Spirit Guides and ancestors talk to me and I choose to listen to them (lol) to know what I should be doing to make an improved me in the new calendar year. This year they have told me that I need to start living and being a healthier me. Between depression, anxiety, asthma, arthritis, and fibromyalgia plus turning 67 years wise in a couple of months I need to look inward at my mental, physical, and spiritual health more to be a better me for not only myself but for my family, friends, and all of you. Yeah, a lot more shadow work this year too. The stop smoking is step 1. Step 2 is after my knee finishes healing to get back into an exercise routine which for me is an easy daily workout and walking more for physical health. Journaling, meditating more and talking to a therapist for mental health. Shadow work, meditating more and celebrating the Esbats as well as the Sabbats for spiritual health.

I would love to know what you do to keep your health at its current level or improve it. It maybe something I or someone else can add to our own routines.

May your and your family’s lives be filled with love, happiness, laughter, joy, and positive things! Blessed be. 

Having a good laugh at least once a day can bring about higher level of good stuff in your mind and body thus lowering your stress levels!!

 I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

If you want to see information on any tradition of witchcraft, herbs, flowers, a Goddess or a God, or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.

Welcome to WOTC! A Thought and a Little Humor for Today

May your and your family’s lives be filled with love, happiness, laughter, joy, and positive things! Blessed be. 

 I hope the rest of your and your family day and evening is relaxing, filled with fun, laughter, some me time, and love.

Merry part until we merry meet again tomorrow!

If you want to see information on any tradition of witchcraft, herbs, flowers, a Goddess or a God, or anything pertaining to any tradition of witchcraft, please put it in the comment section or email Lady Carla Beltane at ladybeltane@witchesofthecraft.com. I will try to find some information to post about it.