Category: A Laugh for Today

A Laugh for Today

“Friday night as a parent: The kids are finally in bed, so let’s watch a movie and have a glass of wi……zZzZzZz……”

“It’s Friday night which means I’m pounding shots at the club and getting crazy til the break of dawn. Except by pounding shots, I mean drinking SleepyTime tea. By the club, I mean my couch. By getting crazy, I mean watching Good Eats. And by break of dawn, I mean 10:30 ish.”

I don’t work on Fridays. I make appearances.

What goes by slower than a boring movie? Friday afternoon.

Source offering more jokes – boredpanda.com

A Laugh for Today

A groaner laugh I know but it is a peek at the dry humor I enjoy

A Laugh for Today

Female Comebacks

Man “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”

Man “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?”
Woman “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

Man “Is this seat empty?”
Woman “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”

Man “So, wanna go back to my place ?”
Woman “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

Man “Your place or mine?”
Woman “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

Man “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman “It’s in the phone book.”

Man “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman “That’s in the phone book too.”

Man “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman “I’m a female impersonator.”

Man “What sign were you born under?”
Woman “No Parking.”

Man “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman “Do not Enter”

Man “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman “Unfertilized”

Man “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason”
Woman “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”

Man “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman “Then please leave me alone.”

Man “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”

Man “I can tell that you want me.”
Woman “Ohhhh. You’re so right. I want you to leave.”

Man “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy
Woman “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.”

Man “Hey cutie, how ’bout you and I hitting the hot spots?”
Woman “Sorry, I don’t date outside my species..”

Man “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman “Sorry, there are no services today.”

Man “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman “Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”

Man “I would go to the end of the world for you.”
Woman “Yes, but would you stay there?”

Source:

JokeWarehouse.com

A Laugh for Today

And part of me is thinking “How can I get a fun day off?” 😂

Have wicked, wonderful Wednesday!

A Laugh for Today

A short break than on to the tomorrow regular posts for Friday in the northern hemisphere.

A Laugh for Today – Contains a Swear Word

I am sorry I have run out of time today to finish the last 2 or 3 monthly posts. The September birthstone, flower, etc. and all the holidays will go up tomorrow when I finish Thursday’s and the tomorrow posts for Friday. I apologize for any inconvenience my not getting the Celtic Tree Month and September Monthly posts on time may have caused anyone. I thank you for your understanding and patience and support while I was recovering from COVID over the last couple of weeks!

Some Humor for Your Day

I’m going back to bed with my 101.8 F fever just didn’t want you to go without knowing your daily/birthday horoscopes and current moon phase. See you all tomorrow. 

Wishing you a fantastic week!