Female Comebacks

Man “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”

Man “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?”
Woman “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

Man “Is this seat empty?”
Woman “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”

Man “So, wanna go back to my place ?”
Woman “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

Man “Your place or mine?”
Woman “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

Man “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman “It’s in the phone book.”

Man “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman “That’s in the phone book too.”

Man “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman “I’m a female impersonator.”

Man “What sign were you born under?”
Woman “No Parking.”

Man “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman “Do not Enter”

Man “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman “Unfertilized”

Man “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason”
Woman “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”

Man “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman “Then please leave me alone.”

Man “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”

Man “I can tell that you want me.”
Woman “Ohhhh. You’re so right. I want you to leave.”

Man “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy
Woman “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.”

Man “Hey cutie, how ’bout you and I hitting the hot spots?”
Woman “Sorry, I don’t date outside my species..”

Man “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman “Sorry, there are no services today.”

Man “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman “Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”

Man “I would go to the end of the world for you.”
Woman “Yes, but would you stay there?”

Source:

JokeWarehouse.com

And part of me is thinking “How can I get a fun day off?” 😂

Have wicked, wonderful Wednesday!

A short break than on to the tomorrow regular posts for Friday in the northern hemisphere.

I’m going back to bed with my 101.8 F fever just didn’t want you to go without knowing your daily/birthday horoscopes and current moon phase. See you all tomorrow. 

Wishing you a fantastic week!

I am sorry there are only a couple of the daily posts and tomorrow will be done tomorrow. I was up over 24 hours between yesterdays and this morning when I finally could fall asleep at almost 8 AM CDT I slept until about an hour ago. With the heat index going to be over 100 F most of this week I am going to try to make sure the daily and birthday horoscopes along with the current moon phase and northern hemisphere’s planetary positions get up for each day. As for the rest of the regular daily posts it’s anybody’s guess that my computer won’t act up because of brown outs. I will be checking all emails tomorrow along with sending out lessons to any of my apprentices that are waiting for one.

If you live in an area that is affected by this current heat wave, try to stay cool, drink plenty of non-carbonate and caffeine free fluids. Check on elderly family and neighbors to make sure they are all right.