Tag: Virgo

Doing the Best We Can

Doing the Best We Can
by Fran Hafey/Mysti
 
In a conversation the other day, I could hear bitterness and sadness
in the voice I was listening to.
 
Then I heard myself say very calmly “We all did the best we could at that time,”
and with that proceeded to share about my own experience.
 
When we remember the past, we have choices. We can hang on to those bitter memories
or we can let them go. It’s alright to remember and share them, even more than once.
It’s what we then choose to do with them that is important.
 
When I was about my oldest daughters age, she is almost 25, I lost all my childhood memories.
I only remembered the fear, the darkness, the pain, hurt and who had inflicted this on me.
It took me many years to let it all go.
 
Once I worked through it… I started receiving my memories back. Sometimes in dreams,
and sometimes I would just be doing something and a memory would pop in my mind.
I would share them with my family at times and I was so happy, that now,
I could remember what a great childhood I had.
 
I cried sometimes, when I remembered things. I let my emotions flow and released them.
I laughed, cried and shared.
 
I realized a wonderful thing. That the people in my life, in my past,
did the best they could with what they had. So profound and so true.
 
I have forgiven and I have put away things I no longer need. I remember the love
and the good times as well as the bad. They all made me who I am today.
I would not change a thing.
 
Now, I help others do the same.
 
I help them find those blocks and what is in the way of remembering the good
or the indifferent. I help them learn to let it go and grow from it.
 
Not everyone had a great childhood. Even the ones that tell you they had a lousy one
usually can find some good, when they look hard enough.
Helping our inner child remember and laugh again,
is worth more than gold. Much more.
 
I hope that you,… no I believe that you can find some of the good in your past
and remember that we all did the best we could
then, with what we had
and just look at what we can do
with what we have…now.
 
Sent with love and light,
Mystiblu~
 
About the Author: Fran Hafey (Mysti) is a Reiki II Practioner, Writer, and Spiritual Counselor.
She provides guidance and inspiration via her Website, groups, ezine’s and newsletter on the World Wide Web.
To read more of her articles visit the Author’s Website: http://Mystickblue.com

New Moon Report for Jan. 23 – Mars Retrograde

New Moon Report for Monday, January 23

By Jeff Jawer

 

Mars Retrograde

Monday, January 23

Aggressive Mars, already restrained by its presence in refined Virgo, goes into hibernation during this retrograde period that ends on April 13. Yet tying up loose ends, perfecting skills and streamlining systems are constructive ways to use this transit. Re-establishing healthier routines of diet and exercise makes this an excellent time to get in shape. Delays and complications in completing projects can produce irritation and increase criticism, yet focusing on one task at a time enhances efficiency.

Cosmic Calendar for Monday, Jan. 23

With last night’s New Moon in Aquarius in your hip pocket, it may seem as if it is clear sailing ahead – as each solar-lunar union offers a forward push for the next 29+ days. However, even though Mercury and Mars form a flowing trine of 120-degrees in earth signs this morning (3:17AM PST) – potentially bolstering communications and construction projects across the board – everyone is about to deal with a possibly volatile Mars station at 24 degrees of Virgo (4:55PM PST) where the red planet shifts from direct to reverse until April 13. While our very accurate, scientifically-calculated ephemerides give us the exact timing of the Mars shift, this entire day (not to mention the last few days and the next 48+ hours ahead) is under the aegis of the red planet gone wild. Stations or the apparent stopping points of celestial bodies are tremendously significant because the planetary archetypes are then thrust upon us – often in an unrelenting manner. Thus, Mars motionless equates with a vast increase in themes such as courage, leadership, passion, sensuality, desire, athletic prowess, independence, but also selfishness, egocentricity, rash acts, immature and adolescent attitudes, as well as violence, anger, aggression and volatility. Accidents, fevers, burns and inflammations are much more common when Mars is singled out via the cosmic players who throw their weight around in our solar system. Do all in your power to steer clear of temperamental individuals, avoid dealing with legal matters and signings, and remember to drive defensively. The good news about Mars retrograde is that you can review and re-evaluate many of your behavior patterns – on the personality level – over the next 80 days.

Cosmic Calendar for Jan. 21st

turday, January 21, 2012

 

Are worries and nervous tension giving you a psychic headache that won’t seem to dissipate? You may be tuning into Monday’s upcoming Mars turnaround – where the red planet shifts from moving forward in Virgo to doing backflips for approximately 80 days. Helping you cope with the increasing martial energy-field are a Moon-Venus supportive, 60-degree tie (6:01AM PST) and a similar hook-up between the Sun and Uranus (5:22PM PST). However, these two favorable sky patterns are separated by nearly half the day and they may not be able to neutralize discordant vibes coming from the monthly Moon-Pluto union in Capricorn (4:33AM PST), Pallas making an abrasive, 45-degree tie to Pluto (7:32PM PST), an off-kilter, 150-degree link from Mars to Pallas (8:29PM PST), the Moon parallel to Pluto (10:04PM PST) and a feisty, unsettling Sun-Jupiter square from Aquarius to Taurus (10:36PM PST). The cosmos is clearly ruffling many of its feathers, and the shadowy, dark-of-the-moon monthly cycle is also gaining power as the next New Moon happens late tomorrow night. Do your best to make some breakthroughs in higher consciousness and tap into Uranian-endowed flashes of genius along the way. The Moon in Capricorn continues to stimulate your overall urge to reach loftier career milestones.

Lunabar Moon Almanack for Monday, January 16

Moon & Witch Comments & Graphics

 

        Lunabar Moon Almanack for Monday, January 16, 2012

Last Quarter Moon, at 4h. 9m. morning.

Moon in Via Combusta.

Moon in 23rd degree of the Sign Libra, the Balance;

also in 30th deg. of the Constellation Virgo, the Virgin.

Moonrise: 12:26 morn. Midheaven: 5:59 morn. Moonset: 11:24 morn.

 

~Magickal Graphics~

the daily humorscope 

Thursday, January 12, 2012

 

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Arachnids will be especially troublesome today. Chances are only fair that you will make it through the day without tangling with one or more giant Amazonian tarantulas. Keep a stick within reach, is my advice. A big stick.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Although you will attempt to thwart your obsession (tying things up with twine) by avoiding twine for the entire day today, it will continue to plague your thoughts. In other words, you will not knot for naught.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
You will wake with a start tonight, and hear a sound like that of a whole herd of capybara snuffling around in your closet. Fortunately, when you switch on the light, that will turn out to be all it is.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Today one or more close relations will pout. You will stoicly endure this, and will steadfastly refuse to relinquish control of the remote control.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You will feel an odd compulsion to stack books, symmetrically, in the public library. Try to resist it.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Someone will soon approach you with an idea. Stay well clear of it.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Someone who you really dislike, who is arrogance personified…will be nice to you. This is a good time to be afraid.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Good day to appreciate the beauty and wonder of life, and to see how far you can spit. Other people may find that incongruous, but you’ll see the inner truth, and it will set you free.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Paper airplane day, today. Have as much fun as you can stand — tomorrow will be ugly.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Try to avoid nibbling on things today. Despite recent developments, you don’t actually know your friend that well yet.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
So, you’ve decided to have children. Congratulations! You, er, do know that giving birth has been somewhat unfavorably compared to pushing a flaming log through your nostril? Just thought I’d mention that.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Excellent time to start a new company, making software to help people with mental problems. You will call it SchizoSoft. Your motto: “Who Do You Want To Be Today?”

the daily humorscope 

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Today you’ll develop a rare mental disorder, causing you to mix metaphors. But don’t you worry — you can’t make an omlette without a silver lining, and in this case, you’ll discover that everyone will confuse mixed metaphors with management potential. BIG promotion in store.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Good day to remember your kinship with all living things. Except perhaps mildew. There’s no point in remembering your kinship with mildew, at least not today.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Excellent day to walk around wearing a white lab coat and carrying a clipboard.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Thrombosis. Beware. Also, your best friend will rush up and indicate by nonverbal means that Timmy is trapped under a log again.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Remember: loose lips sink ships. The really strange thing is, nobody’s ever been able to explain to me why ships have lips in the first place, especially if they’re that risky.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You’re fussing with your hair too much. Perhaps you should temporarily cut back on shampoo. Or at least demand real poo.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
And old friend will call today, who you haven’t talked to in years. He’ll remind you that you owe him money.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
To your chagrin and horror, you will find yourself humming along with “muzac” in the grocery store. It’s the beginning of the long slow slide, I’m afraid. Next stop: collecting “nick knacks”.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Today you will find a really big piece of lint in your pocket. That’s it, though, for today’s excitement.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
You will make people squirm, today. Surprisingly, some of them will show remarkable talent at squirming.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Twelve freshly cut rods (made from ash) will be found in a peculiar pattern on the lawn. Two large black crows will watch you solemnly from the top of a parked VW Microbus. The weather will turn colder, and the air, although clear, will seem grey. Don’t worry, though, it’s probably nothing.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You will attain your dream of having your own cooking show, but it will become tiresome when you have to battle your way past people dressed as chickens to get into the studio each day.

the daily humorscope 

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You will spend most of the day attempting to tie knots in a piece of cord, using only your toes. You will be unable to say why, but this will seem like a useful skill to you, at the time.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
If you want someone to change, it’s often good to give them a painful option and a less painful option, and let them choose their own course. For example, “Do you want to pick up you own wet towel, dear, or would you like to have a live weasel stapled to your leg?”
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Oh go ahead. You know you want to. Besides, nobody is watching.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Watch out for vines, today. Sometime’s it’s hard to tell the difference between a vine and a creeper, until it’s too late.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Excellent day to study entomology — particularly the order hymenoptera. Be prepared to leap about, howling and whacking your trouser legs.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Between now and the vernal equinox, trust anyone with freckles. After that, trust no one.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Remember that silly song The Monster Mash? Beginning today, you will start sounding a lot like the lead singer in that song.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You will decide to change your life by taking up fishing. Unlike the average person, however, you will be “strictly bass”. One must have standards, after all.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Excellent day to fill some pantyhose with popcorn and do the reindeer dance.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
You will find a biography of some famous dead person, at a garage sale, and buy it on a whim. It will change your life. You will also soon take up bricklaying, as a hobby.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
People will begin complimenting you on how clean you are. You will find this strangely irritating.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Good time to learn to play the harmonica. If you get one of those coat hanger thingies to hang around your neck, you can even play it while you’re typing!

Daily Cosmic Calendar for January 10th

Every so often the universe decides to take a siesta and cease bombarding Earth and human souls with challenging alignments. Right now only a trio of minor lunar aspects – the Moon in Leo contra-parallel to Venus (8:54AM PST), the Moon moving 45-degrees to Mars (9:15AM PST) and the Moon forming an off-kilter, 150-degree tie to Pluto (10:23AM PST) – has the capacity to throw you off course. It is more likely that you can continue to distribute the cosmic goodwill vibes that descended from divine planes of consciousness during Sunday night’s Full Moon. In addition, Leo Moon contains that built-in playful and child-like sensitivity. Take a break from the dog-eat-dog, hectic pace of life by visiting an art gallery, museum or national landmark. This is a good point in the Cosmic Calendar to let you know that Mars is slowing down with each passing day until it makes a station and turns retrograde in earthy Virgo on Monday January 23. [Mars in Virgo will remain in reverse until April 13.] Once Mars is retrograde, it is a good time to review and re-evaluate your desires, passions, and overall emotional demeanor. Working on issues like anger management and being too egocentric are appropriate during every Mars reversal (which happens approximately every two years). Between now and January 23, Mars remains in direct motion and you can keep moving ahead with many of your independent, assertive and dynamic enterprises – as long as you do so with some care, efficiency and organizing skills (some of the gifts that the sign Virgo provides to the red planet during its long stay in this sixth sign of the zodiac).

Your Horoscope Bird of Power

  • Annie B. Bond

Ever wish you could fly? Your sun sign is traditionally associated with different birds that can carry messages to the Great Spirit for you, offer spirit-support and healing, or sing a song for your soul.

Find out which birds are your horoscope birds of power here.

Aries, March 21-April 19: Vulture, magpie, robin.

Taurus, April 20-May 21: Dove, sparrow, swan.

Gemini, May 22-June 20: Parrot, linnet, eagle, finch.

Cancer, June 21-July 22: Seagull, owl, white peacock.

Leo, July 23- Aug. 22: Peacock, rooster, eagle.

Virgo, Aug. 23-Sept. 22: Rooster, magpie, parrot.

Libra, Sept. 23-Oct. 22: Dove, swan, sparrow.

Scorpio, Oct. 23-Nov. 21: Eagle, vulture.

Sagittarius, Nov. 22-Dec. 21: Eagle, peacock, bird of paradise.

Capricorn, Dec. 22-Jan. 19: Owl, falcon.

Aquarius, Jan. 20-Feb. 18: Cuckoo, albatross.

Pisces, Feb. 19-March 20: Swan, stork, sandpiper.

the daily humorscope

Monday, January 09, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You will get together with several friends, and start an extremely exclusive club. Mostly, this will just be so you can have your own secret handshake, of course.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
This will be “one of those days”, I’m afraid. The person next to you on the bus will have taken one of those nitroglycerin capsules for his heart condition, and will be bending over to pick up a newspaper, just as the bus hits a big pothole…
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Beware of galoots, today.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Excellent day, today. Unless today is your 15th birthday, of course, in which case you’re destined to have a particularly embarassing episode involving a cat and an argyle sock.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Your neighbor thinks his dog is so smart, it’s starting to bug you. The thing to do is cover a book with a book cover that says “Quantum Physics for Dogs”, and train your dog to lay next to it, along a pad of paper covered with scribbled equations and a chewed-on pencil…
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
This may be a good time to take up squid farming. Provided that you can figure out what type of hat to wear, that is.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You are coming down with a truly horrendous cold. The kind of cold that makes everyone else miserable, just by looking at you. That’s just the kind of inconsiderate behaviour people are starting to expect from you, too.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
What fun! You’ll be called in to a special meeting at work soon, where someone will have a “pink slip”. Sounds like party attire to me!
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Good day to take up knitting, on horseback. Everyone needs an adventure.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Excellent time to race one of those little Shriners cars up and down the sidewalk twenty thousand million times. Also, you’ll meet an angel, but don’t let on that you know who she really is.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Drip, drip, drip. Dunno. Something like that will be in your life, soon. I’ll bet it’s something good!
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Today will be especially trying, and if you’re not careful, you could end up in a pretty grumpy frame of mind. Take precautions! Wear your E.T. underwear.

Your Horoscope’s Lucky Flowers

Your Horoscope’s Lucky Flowers

  • Annie B. Bond

We can find out our own personal sun-sign connection to the world of flowers. Find out your horoscope flowers so you can bring their colors and fragrances into your life.

We also include a fun quiz that shows what your favorite flower tells you about your personal sense of style. So many ways to bloom! It’s all here:

Aries, March 21-April 19: Thistle, wild rose, gorse, nasturtium, woodbine

Taurus, April 20-May 21: Lily of the valley, violet, wild and red garden rose, myrtle

Gemini, May 22-June 20: Snapdragon, iris

Cancer, June 21-July 22: Poppy, water lily, white rose

Leo, July 23- Aug 22: Marigold, sunflower, cowslip, heliotrope, peony

Virgo, Aug 23-Sept 22: Madonna lily, cornflower

Libra, Sept 23-Oct 22: Violet, white rose, love-in-a-mist

Scorpio, Oct 23-Nov 21: Celandine, purple heather, chrysanthemum

Sagittarius, Nov 22-Dec 21: Carnation, wallflower, clove-pink

Capricorn, Dec 22-Jan 19: Snowdrop, Solomon‘s seal

Aquarius, Jan 20-Feb 18: Snowdrop, foxglove, gentian

Pisces, Feb 19-March 20: Heliotrope, carnation, opium poppy, violet

New Moon Report for Jan. 8th – Full Moon in Cancer

New Moon Report

By Jeff Jawer

 

Full Moon in Cancer

Sunday, January 8, 11:30 pm PST, Monday, January 9, 2:30 am EST

The opposition of the Moon in sensitive Cancer to the Sun in dutiful Capricorn exposes two very different ways of seeking security. Subjective feelings of safety and personal comfort are needed with the Moon in maternal Cancer while hardening our defenses to face the challenges of the world is Capricorn’s task. Should we be tender or tough? Favorable aspects to the Sun and Moon from Mars in skillful Virgo empower us to find healthy ways to move between these two positions. The emotions kicked up by this lunation can show us how to nurture our inner needs while still standing strong in our public lives.

the daily humorscope 

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Your butler will return to work today, and pretend as if nothing had happened. It’s time for you to compromise, and give up those new argyles. It’s for the best, in the long run.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Good day to begin that toothpick sculpture you’ve been thinking of. Of course, where you’re actually going to put a life-sized toothpick sculpture of a rhinocerous is another matter.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
The bad news is, you’re competing for that new job with a Hindu goddess. The good news is, if you think YOU have trouble figuring out what to do with your hands during an interview…
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Someone you don’t like will make repeated attempts to talk to you today. The best way to handle this is to stuff extremely crunchy food in your mouth during each attempt, and then mumble “What?” while looking at something slightly over their left shoulder.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
A person of Irish descent will attempt to sell you something you don’t especially want, today. Strive to turn the conversation to Tilapia (a type of freshwater fish) — you’ll find it’s his new hobby.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Today you will receive an odd postcard from a long lost relative in Peru. He will invite you to come explore an ancient Incan ruin which he has discovered. Try not to be too impulsive — a better offer will soon arrive from a an old high school friend who is hiding out in a Burmese monastery.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Your obsession with Lapsang Souchong tea takes a turn for the worse, today, as you begin secretly soaking your undergarments in it. Professional help is indicated.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
A large cement dragon will appear to be following you, although you’ll never actually see it move. Don’t you just hate that?
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You will discover a sure-fire method of fooling all the people, all the time. It will have something to do with Cottage Cheese.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Time to develop new friendships, and possibly to get a new hair style. Personally, I’m working on the “wacky inventor” hair style, in which I wash my hair at night and go to bed with it still damp. It’s not a look for everyone, however.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
You will discover proof that Sports Utility Vehicles are tangible evidence of Evil. Sadly, others will fail to heed your warnings.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
It will irritate you that nobody you meet any more has a “normal” name. Everyone is a “Darius”, or a “Baxter”, or a “Kyle”. Just to be ornery, you will change your name to “Xnarp”.

the daily humorscope 

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
As you are walking along, you will notice someone leaning back in a chair. You should stop and insist that they bring their seatback to a full upright and locked position until the captain has turned off a sign.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Today you will become a card-carrying member of a new and very exclusive organization named “Yeomen of the Carbuncle”, although you’ll spend a lot of time at the first meeting debating whether it should actually be called “Yeopersons of the Carbuncle.”
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
You will hear a strange flapping sound today. Glancing outside, you will see a precision drill team marching by wearing scuba flippers and waving feather dusters. Avoid eye contact. Stay indoors.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Today will be Mexican Food day, for you. In fact, chances are better than 1 in 3 that someone will refer to you as “Frijole-breath” before the day is through.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You will find yourself using a very old spreadsheet program, soon. So old, in fact, that the columns have to be either Doric, Ionic, or Corinthian.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You’ve been a little down lately, and it’s time to snap out of it! You’ve got to smell the roses while there’s time, since you’re not going to live forever. Which is good, since you’re already seeing hair in funny places…
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You’ve always felt, like Socrates, that the unexamined life is not worth living. There’s no need to use a microscope, however.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Today you’ll become incensed at the thought that you missed out on all the fun during the 60’s and 70’s, and will change your name to “Sunflower” in protest.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Excellent day to make strange “hooting” noises, while hiding in the bushes.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
This is a time when you need to hold on to your dreams. Or in other words, reality is becoming too much for you, and you should try to escape into a bizarre fantasy life. Heck, it works fine for Ross Perot, doesn’t it?
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
You will soon accidentally discover why it is that so many things “taste like chicken”. It’s because they ARE chickens, in clever disguises.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
What is freedom? Is there a difference between an infinitely long leash, and no leash at all? You’ll discover the answer to that at work this week, when you get “the yank”.

Your Horoscope Guardian Trees

Your Horoscope Guardian Trees

  • Annie B. Bond

The grounded grace and benign presence of trees have both awed and comforted humans since our earliest beginnings. In both Native American and Celtic tradition, every season has its tree-spirits. In astrology, too, each sun-sign has special trees standing guard over it, sharing their healing energy.

Find out which trees hold a magical healing key for your sun-sign here:

Aries, March 21-April 19: Holly, thorn, chestnut

Taurus, April 20-May 21: Almond, apple, walnut, ash, sycamore, cherry, myrtle

Gemini, May 22-June 20: Elder, filbert

Cancer, June 21-July 22: Willow, sycamore

Leo, July 23- Aug 22: Palm, laurel, pine, oak

Virgo, Aug 23-Sept 22: Hazel, elder

Libra, Sept 23-Oct 22: Almond, walnut, plum, myrtle, apple

Scorpio, Oct 23-Nov 21: Holly, blackthorn

Sagittarius, Nov 22-Dec 21: Mulberry, chestnut

Capricorn, Dec 22-Jan 19: Pine, cypress, yew, spruce, holly

Aquarius, Jan 20-Feb 18: Pine

Pisces, Feb 19-March 20: Willow, elm, linden

Daily Cosmic Calendar for January 6th

It may seem that the upcoming Full Moon that will happen late on Sunday night is far into the future. Nonetheless, in astrology, the two days prior to a Full Moon represent a 48-hour time-period to prepare for the enlightening vibrations that come through to humanity from divine sources at the Full Moon. The two days after a Full Moon signify a distribution phase of the illuminating energies received. Therefore, a complete five-day process is really at work. Your job today is to stay in clear contact with friends and dear ones – gently guiding them upward and onward to the heights of inspiration that can occur a couple of evenings from now. While a supportive, 60-degree link from Vesta to Pluto (8:24PM PST) and a flowing trine from the Moon in Gemini to Venus in Aquarius (8:41PM PST) can give you a wealth of happy feelings, spurring you to excel in business ventures, and creative and artistic media, the Moon also squares Mars (8:45PM PST) while Venus in Aquarius and Mars in Virgo form an off-kilter, 150-degree link (9:28PM PST). Of these two aspects, the Venus-Mars 150-degree connection is the one to watch and possibly tweak in your favor. The tendency is for love bonds to possibly go awry due to a miscommunication. However, focus and attentiveness on your part may save the day. The bottom line is that you want to keep your distance from battles of the will and foolish arguments that lead to cul-de-sacs of the mind and heart.

the daily humorscope 

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Today you will attempt to capitalize on the success of SPAM by inventing SPEEF. Unfortunately, you would have been much better off trying to make SPICKEN, instead.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
A large cement dragon will appear to be following you, although you’ll never actually see it move. Don’t you just hate that?
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Beware of giant squids today. Other than that, a good day for a nice walk along the beach.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
You may be drinking a little bit too much coffee lately. That could explain why everyone else is moving so slowly, or why they say “What was THAT!?” in a verrrrry slow, deep voice, every time you walk by.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Good day to begin that toothpick sculpture you’ve been thinking of. Of course, where you’re actually going to put a life-sized toothpick sculpture of a rhinocerous is another matter.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Time to stop beating around the bush. Beat the bush itself. Give it a good thrashing, and say “bad bush!” in a loud stern tone.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Good day to begin that toothpick sculpture you’ve been thinking of. Of course, where you’re actually going to put a life-sized toothpick sculpture of a rhinoceros is another matter.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Today you will find a bumper sticker that truly defines your sentiments. It will say “Buy More Socks!”.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Hmm. Hard to read this one. The carrot stopped right between “kidnapped and tortured” and “wins the lottery”. Probably a little of both, I’d guess.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Beware of galoots, today.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Your plans to take over the world move forward to the next stage, soon, right on schedule. What you need now is a hunch-backed henchperson with pale protruding eyes. Fortunately for you, a suitible candidate will soon show up at your door, dressed as a peanut.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You’ll become part of the Formal Attire Resurgence movement. Be wary of the Casualist Party though – there’s someone out there just dying to spit on your spats.