Lighten Up – How To Shower (You Probably Been Doing It Wrong All These Years, lmao!)

How to shower like a WOMAN

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights & darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown; if you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique-make mental note to do more sit ups/leg lifts.

4. Wash hair with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 vitamins. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wideloofah, and pumice stone. Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.

5. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint enhance conditioner. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

6. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner out of hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower.

7.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with tilex.

8.Get out of shower. Dry body with a towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom  wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

9. If you see husband along the way; cover up any exposed areas.

 

How to shower like a  MAN

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on the floor.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom.

3. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the “WOO-HOO” sound.

4. Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

5. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

5. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow nose in hands and let the water rinse them off.

7. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing genitals. Wash your butt; leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck to the soap.

8. Wash your hair. Make a shampoo mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and  get out of shower .

9. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because the curtain was hanging ouside the tub the whole time.

10. Admire size of weiner in mirror again.

11. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,  light and fan on.

12.Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass your wife, pull off towel, shake weiner again and make “WOO-HOO” sound.

13.Throw wet towel on the bed.

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5 Surprising Killers Lurking in Your Bathroom

5 Surprising Killers Lurking in Your Bathroom

Nobody’s thinking about danger while relaxing in a warm shower. Yet potential  danger, even the fatal kind, is all around you in a bathroom. According to a  2007 research report by the Home Safety Council, preventable home injuries are  the fifth largest cause of death in the U.S. And safety researchers point to the  bathroom, along with the kitchen and stairs, as the most dangerous zones in the house.

Here are five threats that often trip up (sometimes literally) the  unwary:

1. Water, water everywhere

The most basic part of the “water closet” — the water in the sink, tub, and  shower — is probably its number-one danger. More people are injured, even  fatally, in bathroom falls than in any other room in the house. Trouble is,  water doesn’t always stay where it should. Poorly fitting shower curtains and  simple wet feet are two of the biggest causes of water winding up on the  bathroom floor.

A better way: The ideal shower has a shatterproof  glass door, rather than a curtain. Failing that, you can minimize leaks by  hanging a curtain liner that falls inside the tub and a second, decorative  curtain that falls outside. To stop slips, try tiles in the shower with a  slightly uneven surface (such as bumpy smaller tiles, rather than large, smooth  squares) that feet can grip onto. A cheaper alternative: strips of adhesive  nonslip decals on the shower or bathtub floor.

Keep a nonskid rug on the floor next to the shower/bath exit and in front of  the sink. Basic scatter rugs are themselves a tripping hazard; look for one made  to absorb moisture and stay in place on the floor. And if you’re renovating, be  sure to use nonslip tiles on the floor.

2. Bathroom danger: Slick tub or shower bed

Modern Americans use lots of products in the shower and bath. Trouble is, all  that shampoo, conditioner, body wash, exfoliant, bath gel, shaving cream, and  bubble bath collects as residue on the sides and floor, making them  slippery.

A better way: Soapy buildup should be cleaned off  regularly. Giving the shower or tub a quick wipe down with a washcloth after  each use helps minimize slickness. A strong adult may be able to withstand the  residue, but someone with balance problems, such as a frail older adult, can  slip just enough to lead to a fall.

Be sure, too, to install well-anchored grab  bars wherever slips are likely.

3. Bathroom danger: Bright white surfaces

A pristine white bathroom might look great, but the combination of lights,  white surfaces, and reflective surfaces (such as mirrors and chrome) can be  disorienting. The glare can even be blinding to someone with less-than-perfect  vision, as is the case with many older adults. What’s more, all that brightness  can mask standing water on the floor, increasing the risk of slipping.

A better way: Switching from regular light bulbs to  frosted ones can help reduce glare. A row of contrasting tile (or a wallpaper  border) to break up an expanse of white wall can also help someone maintain  balance. Consider painting the walls a contrasting color to fixtures if this is  a problem for someone with low vision or orientation problems, such as  dementia.

4. Bathroom danger: A space heater

People trying to save on heating bills or attempting to keep a bathroom warm  for an older adult or a child sensitive to the cold have been known to use an  electric space heater in this room. Like any electric appliance (hair dryer,  razor) in the bathroom, where there’s so much water, space heaters are a  potential risk for electrocution.

Another space-heater danger in the bathroom is someone slipping into the  device and burning themselves. Or a towel or throw rug, or even a tissue or bit  of toilet paper, could catch fire.

A better way: If keeping warm is a problem, install  a permanently wired heating system just in the bathroom. Or you could run the  shower for a bit before the bath for an older adult or child, to produce warming  steam. Fluff towels and a cotton robe in the dryer during the bath, so they’re  warm and ready when the person comes out of the water.

5. Bathroom danger: Shattered shower door

Glass shower doors became popular in the 1980s as an alternative to vinyl  shower curtains. Most of the time, they work fine. But they’ve been known to  shatter; in 2009, there were almost 2,000 reports to the Consumer Products  Safety Commission of glass enclosure doors suddenly shattering due to improper  installation. They can also break if someone falls hard into the door because of  a slip.

Because most doors are made of tempered glass, they tend to instantly break  into many small pieces rather than larger jagged ones. This is less likely to  cause a bad cut, but it can nevertheless seriously injure a child or frail older  adult who then falls onto the glass bits.

A better way: You don’t have to give up on glass.  Just let family members know not to use the towel racks sometimes installed  along such doors for support, which can stress them. (Install well-anchored  shower grab  bars into the walls of the shower, instead.)

Regularly check older shower doors for cracks, chips, or the glass rubbing  against metal. Some repairmen say frosted glass shatters more often than clear,  although there’s no safety data on this. If a glass door or even a mirror does  break, the safe thing to do is throw a large towel over the shards so you can  more safely exit.

Hey Y’all! How Ya’ Doing This Super, Fine Saturday Morning!

Hello Images, Quotes, Comments, Graphics

Good morning, my sweets! How are y’all doing this fine Saturday morn? I hope fantastic. I apologize about yesterday. I had some business I had to take care of. Then I had a lot of yard work to get done. As you know it has been in the 100’s around here and you just don’t feel like doing yard work in that weather.

This morning, I am running late because it is Saturday. No, not because I was sleeping late like most people. But because in Kentucky on Saturdays’ is our bath day, lol! Oh, my Goddess, I can feel the hexes coming now! Seriously though, I don’t know how it is in your neck of the woods. I grew up with the old saying, “Saturday is bath day because we’re going to town, Yippee!” Seriously! I can remember us going to town once a week, maybe? And it was a treat to go to town. I remember my father and I going to Kresggee’s (I know that isn’t spelled right). But it was a local variety store, it also had a café section in it. Momma would go shopping and daddy and I would hit the counter at the café part. They had the best strawberry pies in town. We would get us a piece and then daddy would  order one to take home. Which always started a fight! Momma would get mad because she would ask daddy, “if her cooking wasn’t good enough for him?” When I was a child I didn’t think a thing about these days. Now that I have grown up, I miss my mother and father. But I have memories, good memories, that will last a lifetime.

Oh, back to the shower ready quick. I wanted to show you why it takes me so long to take a shower these days.

Yep, this is the reason, Razzy! She doesn’t realize she isn’t suppose to like water. And, everywhere her mother goes, she thinks she is suppose to go too. It is a fight, trying to shower and then having to keep pushing her out of the shower, gee wiz!  But I was snapping photos the other day and caught her doing what she does best, prowling!!! I thought I would show you how my little baby has grown. Little, really doesn’t apply to her anymore!

Anyway, enough with the small talk, I hope you have a fantastic weekend, my friends. Be safe as always and much love…..

This is one of my favorite Irish blessings 🙂

“May those who love us, love us;

and those who don’t love us, may

God turn their hearts; and if He

doesn’t turn their hearts, may he

turn their ankles so we’ll know

them by their limping.”

Hex Ball

Hex Ball

 

1. Burn a candle against your enemy, carving and dressing as desired.

 

2. Reserve some melted wax.

 

3. Add algae or any kind of mold to the wax. Scrape mildew off the shower curtain and add that too.

 

4. Roll the doctored wax into a ball.

 

5. Add black pepper and valerian.

 

6. Toss the ball onto your enemy’s property.