the daily humorscopes for friday, june 22

the daily humorscope

Friday, June 22, 2012

 

Aries

(March 21 – April 19)

A friend will ask you for help, but you should turn them down, silently, with a sad little shake of your head. When they ask what’s wrong, sigh deeply, and mutter “nothing, it’s nothing.”

 

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

Tomorrow when you wake up, many small objects on the carpet will bring you to the alarming conclusion that you have a live rabbit in the house. Search though you may, however, you will be completely unable to find hide nor hare of it…

 

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

You will receive a painful bonk on the head, today, while riding the bus downtown. It’s your own fault, though, for sitting in front of that trombone player.

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

Good day to make sure you are prepared for a big earthquake. Get bottled water, a first-aid kit, canned food, flashlights, transistor radio, sturdy hiking boots, and a feather boa.

 

Leo

(July 23 – August 22)

Hide.

 

Virgo

(August 23 – September 22)

E-coli. It’s what’s for dinner!

 

Libra

(September 23 – October 22)

Your obsession with Lapsang Souchong tea takes a turn for the worse, today, as you begin secretly soaking your undergarments in it. Professional help is indicated.

 

Scorpio

(October 23 – November 21)

Rhubarb pie is the only antidote for your ailment. Trust me on this one. Also, someone’s been teasing your cat.

 

Sagittarius

(November 22 – December 21)

Your neighbours will have a wild party, which you’ll catch glimpses of through the open window. You’ll know you shouldn’t watch, but it’s just hard to imagine how people can do that, especially on a trampoline.

Capricorn

(December 22 – January 20)

You will join a team, and have lots of fun. I’m not sure what sport it is, but the team name will be “The Screaming Weasels”.

 

Aquarius

(January 21 – February 18)

Uh oh. “Bursting into song day”, again. Your friends will avoid you.

 

Pisces

(February 19 – March 20)

Leek soup day, today. Despite your recent tendency towards shoplifting vegetables, I highly recommend you buy a leek, not take one.

Daily Horoscopes for Thursday, June 21

Today feels like the calm before a storm and we can see the intensity building on the horizon. It’s difficult to know if we’re turning our stories into melodramas because the hypersensitive Cancer Moon stirs up deep feelings. Thankfully, our actions speak louder than words now as talkative Mercury forms a supportive sextile with just-do-it Mars. The Moon’s shift into expressive Leo at 11:47 pm EDT sets the stage for a more dramatic day tomorrow.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Problems could arise from your natural desire to initiate action too quickly. You want to make something magical happen now, but may be uncertain about how to best move forward. If your inner voice suggests that you shouldn’t start anything yet, you are better off waiting. Don’t overcompensate by pushing your agenda even harder. Go with the flow and let your progress unfold on its own schedule.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You have a lot to say now, but after thoughtful consideration you may decide that it’s smarter to listen than to rant. Even if you have a busy day ahead of you, spending some time quietly amongst family and friends feels nourishing to your soul. Instead of only pursuing your ambitions today, find contentment in the peaceful safety of your own home. No matter how much you have to do, make time to nurture those you love.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

You want to surround yourself with people who are just as busy as you are today, but it’s also smart to schedule some time to be alone. You could benefit from unplugging for a while and tuning into your inner wisdom. However, you cannot take time off until you complete your chores at work, so concentrate on getting things done early in the day. Replenishing your soul is just as important as meeting your obligations.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

Rather than spending your entire day chasing after details at work, find a place to stretch out, catch a little sun, read a book and enjoy a bit of relaxation. Even if you have an important project to finish, the Sun and the Moon in nurturing Cancer encourage you to escape for a while to revitalize your soul. Don’t worry about meeting everyone else’s expectations; your current performance will be more than sufficient as long as you return to your work with a positive attitude.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Your desires are growing stronger, and although they’re still deep beneath the surface, the idea of sharing them with someone you trust is exciting. Often you roaring Lions are straight up with your emotions and tell it as it is, but you may be overtaken by a more secretive mood today. Thankfully, there’s no need to deny your feelings because your inner experience can be quite enriching now without saying anything about it at all.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Getting together with your friends or meeting with your co-workers sounds like a good idea, but something may hold you back today. You are inclined to go through the motions of collaborating with a group, yet you don’t want to lose your individuality in the process. If you feel protective of your feelings, don’t spread yourself too thin. There’s still a lot to gain by participating in social activities if you keep things low key for now.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You might prefer crawling back into the privacy of your own world, luxuriating in the idea that you don’t need to go anywhere or see anyone. But reality may not let you off the hook so easily now. If you’re called upon to take responsibility for others you need to rise to the occasion. Thankfully, you can create a magical, yet invisible, protective shell that will keep you safe. The power of your imagination enables you to dream while still helping those in need.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Powerful feelings motivate you to step off the map and into uncharted lands today. Whether or not you are completely ready for your next adventure, there’s still a haunting familiarity to the landscape. You can’t tell if you have actually been here before or if it was only in a dream. Don’t let your attention wander too far because subtle clues are already revealing your future if you’re alert enough to notice.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You may be somewhat anxious today if someone pulls you into an emotional drama that is just one step outside of your comfort zone. Unfortunately, you might not be able to suppress the flood of emotions that reaches the surface. Forget about trying to escape and simply sink into your feelings without resistance. Rest assured that your moods will continue to change and you’ll be back to your buoyant self before you know it.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You strive for stability by building strong foundations and then steadily climbing toward your ambitious goals. But now, as the emotional waters swirl around your feet, you don’t feel as sure-footed as you like. However, it’s perfectly safe to float and let your feet leave the ground today. Swim through the mixed feelings of the day without trying to hold on to any one of them along the way.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You could be especially vulnerable as today’s tender Cancer Moon reminds you to retreat from your high-flying thoughts and dive into a deep pool of feelings. Try as you might to separate out the strands of emotions, your desires are woven into the everyday fabric of your life. You may feel as if this emotional tapestry is a heavy burden, yet it magically lightens if you have the courage to wear your heart proudly on your sleeve.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Although you may be re-evaluating your diverse feelings with respect to love, you won’t necessarily need to make significant relationship decisions now. Instead of worrying about problems you don’t even have, explore your passions and your fears by considering where you could shake up your social life. However, don’t make any sudden moves today. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

the daily humorscopes for thursday, june 21

the daily humorscope

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Aries

(March 21 – April 19)

You will tell a total stranger that you’re “sick and tired of salad”, today. The stranger will recoil in shock and horror.

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

A moth the size of a Boeing 747 will erupt from a nearby hillside today, and go off to help a huge semi-aquatic rubbery dinosaur fight off an alien attack. So what are you doing to help?

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

Extremely poor day to use obscure euphemisms or medical metaphors. In particular, avoid “kajoobies” or “shvontz” like the plague.

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

Bad day to feed the Bengal tiger. Let someone else do it, today. Probably just an “off” batch of the Purina Tiger Chow, but why risk it?

Leo

(July 23 – August 22)

Remember that silly song The Monster Mash? Beginning today, you will start sounding a lot like the lead singer in that song.

Virgo

(August 23 – September 22)

Your perfume or cologne has too much patchoulli. Only an idiot wears patchoulli. Or a witch. Hmm. Er, never mind. Wear whatever you like. I’m sure it’s quite nice.

Libra

(September 23 – October 22)

Nobody knows the trouble you’ve seen. Except for Bob, that is. You know – the quiet neighbor, with the binoculars?

Scorpio

(October 23 – November 21)

You might consider picking up some holy water and a few stout wooden stakes. They’ll come in handy soon, although I’m not sure how.

Sagittarius

(November 22 – December 21)

You will dream about arrows without points, tonight, and it will have a deeply spiritual significance for you. You won’t know what to make of the episode with the lime jello, though.

Capricorn

(December 22 – January 20)

Beware of short people.

Aquarius

(January 21 – February 18)

Good day to avoid pickled herring.

Pisces

(February 19 – March 20)

Your main problem? You’re not eating NEARLY enough strudel.

Daily Horoscopes for Wednesday, June 20

We’re hesitant to reveal too much today because we worry about how others might react. The cautious Cancer Moon is supported by the Sun’s shift into Cancer at 7:08 pm EDT, marking the Summer Solstice. Rational Mercury’s square to stern Saturn has us thinking twice before we say anything, and an anxious Venus-Pluto aspect complicates emotions further. Nevertheless, we still desire romantic excitement as sensual Venus sextiles irrepressible Uranus.
Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Your chores have piled up, especially if you’ve been procrastinating lately. In fact, the stack may be so high that it could topple over. Carefully considered preventive measures can help save the day, but you must act with restraint. If you try to fix everything all at once by impulsively jumping in with both feet, your intervention might start an avalanche that brings it all down on top of you. A shortcut is certainly tempting, but a conservative approach works best now if you want to make real progress.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Intense interactions between you and your friends may pull you away from your regular routine as a minor disagreement turns into a serious conflict. You can smooth over the rough spots by choosing the right words to express your feelings. However, you don’t have to go to extremes while sharing your emotions. Handling the basics of practical living always makes sense, but today you must also honor what’s in your heart.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

You may feel a bit relieved and also a little let down today as the Sun leaves flighty Gemini for the watery realms of Cancer. Allowing the energy to shift out of your head and lower into your body might increase your vulnerability. Thankfully, no one expects you to have all the answers now. Instead, just listen to your intuition; it will steer you in the right direction.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

The Sun’s return to the sign of Cancer marks the beginning of your astrological birthday month, bringing increased vitality your way. You are reconnecting with your personal power now, but could have moments of self-doubt when you realize how much work is still ahead. Thankfully, you’re up for the challenge. Acknowledging whatever’s been holding you back enables you to change your assumptions and step into a more meaningful future.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

You may be drawn into your own inner drama now as the Sun slips into your 12th House of Secrets. Memories of the past, your family or your childhood give rise to powerful feelings that flood into your imagination. Fortunately, having more options available gives you the chance to eliminate a repetitive pattern that’s no longer working for you. Although you might be all over the emotional map today, seeing things from multiple points of view inspires you to elevate your awareness to a higher level.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Your vision of the future shifts today like the winds before a storm, making it difficult to know which way to go. However, you’re so perceptive now that you can discern the most significant thoughts from the background noise. Hold tight to your most valuable ideas, for they will guide you over the weeks ahead as the Sun travels through your 11th House of Hopes and Wishes. Don’t let anyone talk you out of your dreams, for they are the primary way to nurture your soul at this time.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You’re eager to participate in activities that involve people who can further your goals today. Naturally, doing what’s best for everyone is your preference, but it may not be so easy now that you’re being pulled in several directions. One part of you understands the sacrifice you’re ready to make, but another part resents what you are about to do. Remember, no one will be satisfied with the outcome if you aren’t happy with your choices, so reconsider your plans before initiating action.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You’re able to emotionally connect with others while also staying in touch with your own feelings now that the Sun is visiting the watery realms of Cancer. However, don’t expect the current intensity to dissipate. Instead, your passions may actually deepen. But it will become easier to manage your emotions over the next few weeks as long as you don’t bury them with nervous chatter or constant activity. Creating time for contemplation makes room for new insights to pop into awareness and inspire your dreams.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Relationships remain a top priority with loving Venus still retrograde in your 7th House of Partnerships, but the emphasis is changing from casual interactions to deeper and more powerful issues. This is the stuff that intimacy is made of, yet you may be resistant to the feelings of vulnerability that accompany this dance. Nevertheless, it’s time to go beyond words and sink into the mystery. Even if you long for the safety of logic, this emotional exploration could reveal previously buried treasure if you’re willing to take the plunge.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You’re often focused on your work and how you can get ahead in the world, but now there is also a light shining on your interpersonal relationships as the Sun visits your 7th House of Companions. Give yourself permission to honor your feelings and try not to be overly concerned if you temporarily forget about your career ambitions. Putting extra time toward nurturing a partnership just might bring emotional rewards far richer than professional recognition.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Today it might seem as if the fun and games are over, but, happily, they’re not. It’s just that it’s time to complete unfinished chores, and playtime may get pushed down toward the bottom of your priorities. Although summer is officially here (in the Northern Hemisphere), it’s difficult to enjoy yourself now while still acting in a responsible manner. You’ll relax even more once you feel the satisfaction from a job well done.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You Fish can swim a bit easier for the next month now that the Sun is journeying through your 5th House of Fun and Games. Although your feelings have been running deep lately, you grow more lighthearted today. You might appear more spontaneous and playful, yet you’re also quite serious about what you want. Trust your instincts and follow the currents wherever they take you.

the daily humorscopes for wednesday, june 20

the daily humorscope    

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

 

Aries

(March 21 – April 19)

Would you just Stop? Nobody else feels the need to dance around like that…

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

In a surprising twist, the failure of another large London-based bank will be blamed on you, today. C’est la vie, non?

 

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

Today is the second-to-last day, of the 19th segment of your life. Time to learn to appreciate tofu (bean curd).

 

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

Resist temptation, today. You might have to get rough with it, or even wrestle it to the ground.

Leo

(July 23 – August 22)

If you’re not already a vegetarian, you will be. Someone with the initial “E.” will make sure of that. Ed? Ernest? Dunno. Someone like that. E. Coli, is what I see. Odd name, huh? Sounds Italian.

 

Virgo

(August 23 – September 22)

You will be forced to re-evaluate your boss’ IQ, when you discover that he is looking forward to the release of “Titanic II.”

 

Libra

(September 23 – October 22)

Something is about to become overly intimate with you. Intimacy can be good. Just not with fungus.

 

Scorpio

(October 23 – November 21)

You may have to share a hotel room with a business colleague, to save travel expenses. Here’s a tip to keep them from talking all night: bring along a teddy bear, and punch it really hard in the head a few times at bedtime, screaming “Shut up, Mr. Teddy! Shut up!.”

 

Sagittarius

(November 22 – December 21)

A moth the size of a Boeing 747 will erupt from a nearby hillside today, and go off to help a huge semi-aquatic rubbery dinosaur fight off an alien attack. So what are you doing to help?

 

Capricorn

(December 22 – January 20)

A new love affair will have you all misty-eyed. Either that, or it’s the onset of glaucoma, in which case you should seek immediate medical attention.

 

Aquarius

(January 21 – February 18)

You will be buffeted by hordes of people, who will all simultaneously show up in your office “just to chat”. Eventually, you will make your escape by locking yourself in the bathroom.

 

Pisces

(February 19 – March 20)

You will have a trifle too much punch at a party this week, and will amuse the other guests by flopping around on the floor an making “Ark! Ark!” sounds. But who cares? If they want to be stuffy, let ’em, I say.

Your Daily Horoscopes for Tuesday, June 19

Today is a turning point, filled with a variety of interesting distractions. It seems as if each separate event is the most significant one, yet the Gemini New Moon at 11:02 am EDT teaches us about impermanence even as the Moon quickly enters watery Cancer at 1:33 pm. We plant our intellectual seeds and carefully nurture them as they sprout over the weeks ahead. However, we must let go of any old ideas that have already served their purpose.
Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

There are so many things to do today that you cannot keep up with your own agenda. The busy Gemini New Moon falls in your 3rd House of Information, tempting you to fill your mind with data instead of seeking the deeper meaning of your experiences. You may feel preoccupied by all the external noise, while wishing that you had a chance to delve into the pleasures that you know are waiting for you somewhere. Be patient; your time will come.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You are more concerned about money now with the Gemini New Moon activating your 2nd House of Resources. You might not be able to relax until your material world is more secure. It’s disconcerting if you’re consumed by the annoying realization that you’re not quite as financially comfortable as you wish. However, nothing is preventing you from reconsidering where you go next. You can always change your mind along the way.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

If you feel tangled up in your thoughts now, remember that curiosity is a perfectly natural Gemini trait and you may need to play out every possibility in your mind. The clever Gemini New Moon might have you obsessing about details you cannot possibly know. It’s OK if you feel lost in your own mental maze; you’re perfectly safe and exactly where you need to be today.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

Your dreams serve a very important purpose and you would quickly lose interest in your future without their inspiration. You often anticipate better times ahead, but now the Gemini New Moon in your 12th House of Endings may have your fantasies working in reverse. If you’re worried about what’s around the next corner, try not to push these concerns away. Embrace your thoughts as messages from within. But then, take it to the next level by giving yourself permission to work toward whatever you want.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

If you are trying to hold on to the status quo at work, it’s useful to re-evaluate your long-term goals now that the New Moon occurs in your 11th House of Dreams and Wishes. Your current mental agility can help you get what you want, but you must also learn something about yourself or others will think that you’re just playing games. Don’t try to bluff your way through the situation; be open to the lessons at hand.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

The interactive Gemini New Moon in your 10th House of Career indicates that you’re being encouraged by others to follow a particular professional path. However, you have additional goals that may not be addressed by your current choices. Fortunately, it’s not necessary to reveal your inner conflicts yet. Publicly expressing your deepest feelings today will only confuse your co-workers. Research your options before sharing what’s on your mind.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You may be highly motivated to let go of desires that have little chance of being fulfilled as the flighty Gemini New Moon stimulates your 9th House of Big Ideas. You have reached a point where you are ready to make changes in order to add excitement to your life and you have little patience for those who might stand in your way. Don’t sweat the small stuff today; concentrate on your long-term goals rather than the details of the day.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Be careful about complicating a delicate situation today as the noisy Gemini New Moon occupies your 8th House of Deep Sharing. Nevertheless, you are driven by an unquenchable desire to explain the unexplainable as you push toward getting what you want. Your belief that the outcome will be an all-or-nothing one can muddy the waters. The best way to avoid problems is to be honest and keep all communications clear of any possible misunderstandings.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You may struggle to find balance between taking care of your most basic needs and meeting everyone else’s expectations as the dualistic Gemini New Moon falls in your 7th House of Others. Your real dilemma stems from the illusion that you can have it both ways now. Although your diplomatic skills rise to the occasion, you must eventually make a choice because you cannot serve two masters. Instead of getting caught up in the moment and rushing your decision, allow time for your inner voice to make itself heard.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Someone may see you as selfish today, but you know that you must attend to your own needs before you can truly help those around you. You may feel a bit overwhelmed now with all that you have going on and you won’t be much good to anyone if you don’t put the details of your life in order. Thankfully, the information-rich Gemini New Moon lands in your 6th House of Daily Routine, enabling you to increase your everyday efficiency so you have the time and energy to be of service to others.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Today’s adaptable Gemini New Moon falls in your 5th House of Self-Expression, motivating you to share your enthusiasm. However, you may be too quick to change your story for each new audience. Don’t be overly concerned about impressing others with your song and dance; if you please yourself, everyone else will jump on your bandwagon. Being loved starts with learning to love yourself more.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You may be extra protective of your home and family now because subconsciously you know that everything cannot stay the same. Today’s fickle Gemini New Moon occupies your 4th House of Security, tempting you to fearfully hold on to your feelings. Ironically, your attachment to the past might destabilize the present. Instead of trying to maintain the status quo, consider what you can do to become an agent of change.

the daily humorscopes for tuesday, june 19

the daily humorscope 

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

 

Aries

(March 21 – April 19)

Today you will uncover astonishing proof that the dinosaurs died out due to a retrovirus contagion. Furthermore, you will find evidence of a government cover-up of research that indicates the same thing is likely to happen to humans. Don’t worry, though.

 

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

Beware of poltergeists, today.

 

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

Stop slouching, and sit up straight! How do you expect to get ahead in the world if you pay no attention to proper posture?

 

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

Today will be a great day for bargains. For example, you’ll find a really amazing price on a flame-thrower, at the Army surplus store. A flame-thrower is one of those rare things that really creates a lasting first impression — so you should definitely get it.

Leo

(July 23 – August 22)

You will hear screams coming from a Hungarian restaurant, while you are walking by. Don’t worry, though. That’s normal.

 

Virgo

(August 23 – September 22)

Soon you will start work on a mystery novel, “The Curse Of The Mummy’s Nose”, told from the point of view of your cat, Erik.

Libra

(September 23 – October 22)

Good time to go into business making measuring spoons. Good ones to start with would be a “smidgeon” and a “pinch.”

 

Scorpio

(October 23 – November 21)

You will have a visit from “The Scourge of Valderia.” He’s thin, small, balding, wears little round glasses, and dresses in a rumpled blue suit. Still you don’t want to cross him.

 

Sagittarius

(November 22 – December 21)

Following up on your accidental observation of the “sock dimension” (remember that sock you saw re-materializing a while back?), you will invent a machine to let you cross over the dimensional barrier. Sadly, you’ll be one dimension off, and will pop into the lost pen and pencil dimension, where you will be severely poked.

Capricorn

(December 22 – January 20)

Noticing a picture on a colleague’s desk, you will comment “I’ve never cared for those hairless cats”. That might not be a good thing to say. Newborns can be a bit blotchy, and new parents can be a bit touchy…

Aquarius

(January 21 – February 18)

Things haven’t been going well for you lately, and you’re sinking into a fairly ugly bit of self-pity. You merely need to count your blessings! (1) You’ve got a tremendous talent, which some day may be in demand, (2) You’re almost normal — LOTS of people have extra appendages, (3)…

 

Pisces

(February 19 – March 20)

You will finally come to understand what Mies Van der Rohe was talking about when he said “Less is more.” He was talking about his brother, Lester Van der Rohe, and was referring to a small weight-gain problem.

Your Daily Horoscopes for Monday, June 18

We’re wise to stay on course now, instead of changing plans at the first sign of difficulty. The inquisitive Gemini Moon encourages us to gather more knowledge by reading books, observing reality and actively engaging in conversations. But the Moon’s square to assertive Mars suggests trouble if our feelings conflict with what we must accomplish. Fortunately, a subsequent lunar trine with karmic Saturn indicates that our persistence pays off.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Spending the day relaxing seems like a good idea, but your irrepressible restlessness makes this unlikely today. You bore quickly and your overactive thoughts can fuel an attraction to an emotionally charged situation or an intense debate. Be careful about creating unnecessary noise just because you want a bit of excitement or an excuse to escape. It’s better to remain quiet now and contemplate the results of speaking your truth before saying something you cannot take back.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You might be in emotional distress today, finding it difficult to ask for what you want. Your thoughts seem to be buzzing around in never-ending circles as they continue to grow more intense. Controlling your impulses is your smartest strategy to keep things from unraveling now. Thankfully, there’s no need to be overly concerned because your mood will likely shift midday, enabling you to settle down and accomplish your goals.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

You are in your own element today with the Sun and the Moon flying through your airy sign. Although you might feel a bit of emotional pressure from a family member or close friend, it’s not necessary to jump through a lot of hoops now trying to live up to anyone’s expectations. Instead, imagine you are a kite, riding on the changeable breezes. Don’t try too hard to resist the currents; fortunately, the winds will ultimately carry you along effortlessly to your destination.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

Although you may want to be alone for a while, your day depends on how well you can get along with others. You might wish that you could escape into fantasies, but the real challenge today is to balance your dreams with what you must do in the real world. Once you accept the necessity of social interactions, you should be able to find the security you seek from within.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Being optimistic is a blessing, but you can float off into dreamland today with no obvious way to come back down to earth. The danger is that a balloon filled with too much hot air can explode. You could set yourself up for disappointment if your expectations are overinflated. Thankfully, talking with your friends and associates can help you balance your perspective as long as you’re willing to listen.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Worrying about doing the right thing at work turns up the stress level. Although concentration comes naturally to you, one emotional issue after another today distracts you from what needs to be done. Everything seems more urgent now, so try to maintain a sensible perspective. Cut back on unnecessary activities and say only what’s necessary. It’s wise to conserve your energy for later in the week when you will need it most.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

The mood-setting Moon lightens everything up for you while it’s in whimsical Gemini, which, like Libra, is a thoughtful Air sign. Although you’re eager to listen and learn, you might believe that you should also share everything you know. However, full disclosure isn’t necessarily the best option today. Discretion is advised now, for there are some things better left unsaid.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You may be somewhat unsure of the very same people on whom you normally rely. It feels as if you’re the only person these days who takes enough time to think everything through to its conclusion. You really aren’t that difficult to please; it’s just that you wish others would try a bit harder. Push gently as you interact with friends and associates because alienating them will not necessarily produce better results or make you feel any happier. Work with what you have instead of what you want.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Today’s flighty Gemini Moon fans your inspirational Sagittarian fires. Your enthusiasm is growing, but problems might arise stemming from an information overload. Stop adding more data to the mix once you reach your saturation point. Make your decisions now with what you already know and trust that your choices will be the best ones.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You are nearing a turning point and can finally move beyond the previous limitations if you’re willing to take a risk today. Thankfully, you can escape the consequences of the same rules that you normally respect. It’s not that you’re particularly rebellious now; it’s just you can no longer blindly follow policies and procedures that don’t make sense. Walk on the wild side, but remember your way back home.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You are eager to glide through even the most difficult of circumstances today since the smart Gemini Moon comfortably supports your logical and analytical bias. Even if you have a lot to do now, you’re able to think on your feet quickly enough to manage nearly anything that surfaces, allowing you to also squeeze in some time for fun. Give yourself the benefit of any doubt. If something enjoyable comes along, grab the opportunity to pursue the good time you deserve.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

It’s a multiple choice kind of day because the dualistic Gemini Moon reveals a variety of paths that all seem to lead back home. Ultimately, you would like to balance your current curiosity with a desire to maintain the status quo; however, these two needs can lead you in very different directions. Actively explore your options and follow your impulses. Once you have exhausted the alternatives, it will be much easier to settle on a final course.

Your Love & Romance Horoscopes for the Week of June 18th

The flirty Gemini New Moon on Tuesday adds an exciting edge to the air early in the week, followed by the Summer Solstice on Wednesday when the Sun shifts into loving Cancer. This is a weekend to celebrate with the evocative Moon’s presence in playful Leo on Friday and Saturday. Setting cares aside to open hearts and enjoy life without any selfish ambitions reduces tension and invites fun. The mood is more serious on Sunday with a lunar entry into earthy Virgo, encouraging a more grounded approach to relationships.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Clear your calendar for playtime this weekend with the Moon dancing in dramatic Leo and your 5th House of Romance on Friday and Saturday. You will know just how far to push it in your pursuit of pleasure, finding it easy to attract admirers without coming on too strong. Sunday, though, requires a lighter touch when exercising self-restraint and paying attention to details matter. Discussing delicate issues takes time; let patience be your guide and listen at least as much as you talk.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Entertaining at your place makes sense on Friday and Saturday with the boisterous Leo Moon lighting up your 4th House of Home and Family. Being generous of spirit is the key to meaningful interactions, even if you feel like you’re not receiving all the love and attention you need in return. Giving more than you take pays off on Sunday with a lunar shift into fellow Earth sign Virgo and your 5th House of Romance. A perfect mix of practicality and play allows you to find pleasure working with a desirable partner or to have fun even when doing your chores.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Flirtatious behavior is appropriate all week long starting with the friendly Gemini New Moon on Tuesday and ending with the bold Leo Moon shining in your 3rd House of Communication on Friday and Saturday. Striking up casual conversations enlivens even the most routine outing. You know how to be playful without ruffling feathers now that your chatty ruling planet Mercury is traveling through sensitive Cancer. Sharing intimate issues in a discreet manner is bound to enrich your relationship life. Telling someone you care might make all the difference in the world.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You may need to pump up your self-confidence to really enjoy being around others this weekend. The audacious Leo Moon’s presence in your 2nd House of Self-Worth signals the call to be more outgoing in your approach on Friday and Saturday. Dress up to put yourself in the mood required to tap into social opportunities and inspire romantic relationships. Showing your best self increases your chances for a deeper connection. Expressing your heart’s desires at the right moment may be all you need to do.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

It’s time to step out and shine this weekend with the Moon illuminating your romantic sign on Friday and Saturday. Going too far in your search for fun is almost impossible now. As long as you obey the laws and don’t hurt anyone, there are no limits on how hard you can play. The spotlight is on you so you might as well put on an unforgettable show. You can make a heart connection almost anywhere you go. You might need a day of rest and recovery on Sunday after the Moon enters practical Virgo and your 2nd House of Resources.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

The action for you this weekend is on the fringes and in the quiet corners of social gatherings. This behind-the-scenes approach works for you because the mood-setting Moon is lingering in your 12th House of Secrets on Friday and Saturday. While this lunar energy could make you feel like an outsider, it’s also a perfect chance for cozy connections in out-of-the-way places. Get some rest, you will need it. The pace changes significantly when the Moon moves into your industrious sign on Sunday, raising your public profile and putting you in the middle of the action.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Friends and organizations enliven your personal life this weekend with the expressive Leo Moon shaking up your 11th House of Groups on Friday and Saturday. Working for a cause is a great way to meet someone new or add a sense of purpose to a current flame. Sunday’s agenda takes a spiritual approach with the Moon’s shift into your 12th House of Divinity. Your amorous ruling planet Venus will finally start moving forward next week, making this a perfect time to complete unfinished personal business.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Graciously handling your responsibilities puts you in good stead this weekend. The confident Leo Moon occupies your 10th House of Public Duties on Friday and Saturday, empowering you to take the leadership role and run with it. Putting on a positive face, even under tough circumstances, earns you appreciation, admiration and allies. Good friends lighten the load on Sunday by inviting you to join in enjoyable group activities so you can take your mind off your work for a while.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

The passionate Leo Moon inspires your 9th House of Higher Learning and Faraway Places on Friday and Saturday. Travel expeditions and educational experiences might put you in the mood for love. Sharing these mind-expanding activities strengthens your current partnership or fires up a potential new one. Expressing your opinions honestly might scare off a timid person who’s probably not your type. Hold out for the one who can challenge your head and your heart.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

There’s no halfway position when it comes to relationships this weekend. The risk-taking Leo Moon lights up your 8th House of Intimacy on Friday and Saturday, motivating you to give it all you’ve got. Investing more of yourself with the one you love or making bold moves with a potential new partner is essential. Sure, you may feel foolish by being so open emotionally, yet holding back keeps you out of the game. Life is an adventure on Sunday once the Virgo Moon moves into your 9th House of Big Ideas; you can travel anywhere you wish in your mind.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You should be ready to rock when it comes to relationships this weekend. The Moon’s presence in demonstrative Leo and your 7th House of Partners heats up personal matters on Friday and Saturday. Don’t play it cool when passion is the key that opens the door to love. It’s better to go too far than to keep your feelings to yourself. Outgoing people with lots of energy and the courage to express themselves freely are your best companions now. After the Moon slips into discerning Virgo and your 8th House of Intimacy on Sunday, you will know if you want to take the romance to the next level.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

The proud Leo Moon’s visit to your 6th House of Service on Friday and Saturday could occupy your time with work. But a playful approach to any task can turn it into an opportunity for fun and maybe even spark an unexpected attraction. You can make chores seem like a game now by being bold and creative in your actions. Sunday offers even greater chances for connecting with someone special as a lunar transit in your 7th House of Partners pulls the people you admire into your orbit. Your love light is nearly impossible to resist.

the daily humorscopes for monday, june 18

the daily humorscope 

Monday, June 18, 2012

 

Aries

(March 21 – April 19)

Today you will get one of those pimples that just suddenly appears, and you will only notice it when you glance in the mirror after a very important meeting.

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

Small fluffy animals will come over and lean on you, today. It’s just their way of showing their appreciation, and of telling you that you are furniture.

 

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

Today you will be watched by cats. It’s nothing really worth worrying about, I’m sure. Did you know that you’ve started making little unconscious “squeaks” when you’re concentrating on something?

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

Today will be especially trying, and if you’re not careful, you could end up in a pretty grumpy frame of mind. Take precautions! Wear your E.T. underwear.

 

Leo

(July 23 – August 22)

You are coming down with a truly horrendous cold. The kind of cold that makes everyone else miserable, just by looking at you. That’s just the kind of inconsiderate behaviour people are starting to expect from you, too.

Virgo

(August 23 – September 22)

You’ll become best pals with a large invisible rabbit, today. Well, actually he’s a “puka”, which is a type of Celtic spirit, but he’ll look like a large invisible rabbit.

 

Libra

(September 23 – October 22)

You will unearth a small stone figurine, while digging in a garden. If you set it on your television and put a small bowl of fruit in front of it, those unsightly warts should clear up in a week or two.

 

Scorpio

(October 23 – November 21)

Today is not a good day to be yourself. In fact, that might even be dangerous. Be someone else, until further notice.

 

Sagittarius

(November 22 – December 21)

Excellent day to make odd hand gestures at people you don’t know.

Capricorn

(December 22 – January 20)

Absolutely marvelous day to complain, grumble, gripe, or whine. Remember: if you’re going to do something, do it well.

 

Aquarius

(January 21 – February 18)

You will discover a horror almost beyone imagining today — your home is inhabited by the ghost of an insurance salesman. Who you gonna call?

Pisces

(February 19 – March 20)

You need to work harder on your friendships. Why, you sometimes don’t even like yourself that much, do you? Be nice to yourself this week – buy yourself some flowers or a nice gift. And stop suspecting yourself of having an ulterior motive!

New Moon in Gemini Horoscopes, June 19

Two Gemini New Moons in a month mean it’s time to cut the clutter!

 

Get ready for more information overload! This unusual event on June 19 is the second New Moon in Gemini in less than a month! We now have another chance to initiate connections and gather information, but efficiency is essential now.

That’s because Mars in discriminating Virgo forms a square with this lunation that signals the need to eliminate excess data so we can focus on critical details. The urge to collect ideas and facts needs to be tempered by a very focused and practical perspective on its application.

See how this New Moon in Gemini will affect your horoscope sign:

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You may be hearing a lot of noise that can turn your head in several directions now. Don’t pay attention to conversations that don’t contribute to the bottom line. Gossip and random data might be interesting, but they distract you from making the key connections that really matter. Concentrate on core concerns when trying to impress others, as one practical concept is worth more than a million random ideas.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Making a choice between two different financial opportunities or purchasing decisions could be challenging now. It’s best to be conservative by putting your resources in as safe a situation as possible. Buying one item of a higher quality is better than purchasing two cheap ones. Similarly, putting your effort into sharpening an essential skill is smarter than spending time on trivial pursuits.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

This New Moon in your diverse sign is challenged by impatient Mars in pragmatic Virgo. If you’re feeling edgy, it’s probably because you have too many activities on your plate. Try cutting down your agenda by eliminating tasks that aren’t essential at this time. Serious Saturn’s favorable alignment to this lunation provides the discipline you need to avoid distractions and increase your productivity.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

This New Moon falls in your 12th House of Endings, making this a great time to review the recent past. Carefully evaluating your plans helps you recognize which projects aren’t worthwhile so that you can let go of them and focus on what’s really going to change your life. Spiritual practices and using your imagination and creativity are positive new directions to consider.

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22)

This event in your 11th House of Groups can spur you to get more involved in an organization or to re-evaluate your role on a team. Getting along with colleagues may be difficult until you’ve worked out the details of exactly what you expect of one another. Boosting your status on the team is most likely to come from upgrading your ability in a specialized skill.

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

This busy New Moon falls in your 10th House of Career and Public Responsibility, which can load you down with obligations. Instead of wearing yourself out by trying to please everyone, it’s healthier to eliminate some tasks from the pile — even if it’s tough for you to disappoint others or to feel like you’re not pulling your weight. A diet regarding your duties will do you wonders.

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

Your interest in faraway places is likely to be spurred by this New Moon in your adventurous 9th House of Travel. However, this isn’t the ideal time to consider a getaway. It’s smarter to find ways to combine play with work or education so that a trip pays off in practical terms. Advice offered by a successful person might not be easy to accept but is probably worth taking.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

Relationships could reach a new level of complications with this lunation landing in your 8th House of Intimacy. But instead of shutting out thoughts in your head or words from a partner, do your best to listen intently. Among the many things being said are one or two items that really count. Filter out the trivial stuff and you’ll hear valuable information for your personal and professional life.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

This New Moon in your 7th House of Partners can put pressure on your relationship life. But that can be a good thing if you’re ready to make a commitment or are willing to work on the little details that can make or break an alliance. Sticking to real world issues and ways to resolve them is more important than letting your restless mind wander off in interesting but impractical directions.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)

Altering some of your work habits might be a productive use of this New Moon. It falls in your 6th House of Employment, challenging you to be even more efficient than useful. That could seem unfair as you’re probably juggling more balls in the air than usual. A healthier diet, along with proper rest and exercise helps you handle stress without getting edgy or wearing yourself out.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)

It’s time to be playful, creative and to have more fun. This New Moon lands in your 5th House of Romance and Children, where it lightens your heart and raises your profile. People want to be with you but you won’t have time for all of them. Carefully choosing who you want to spend your time with can make the difference between being bored silly and having an awesome time.

Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20)

Changes on the home front are likely with this lunation in your 4th House of Roots. Unfinished thoughts and conversations about family may resurface, but it’s not helpful to simply repeat the old thoughts. Finding solutions is what this is all about, so focus on fixing issues. If have one you can’t resolve, set is aside and concentrate your efforts where real improvements can be made.

 

DailyHoroscopes.com

Your Daily Horoscopes for Friday, June 15

We can prepare for the upcoming transformations by integrating all the recent changes as soon as possible. Fortunately, now that  the Moon is visiting stabilizing Taurus we feel emotionally safe to ask for what we want and may even be a bit obstinate if we think that our needs aren’t heard. However, we’re not as distracted by our own mental meanderings as it seems. Thankfully, we can concentrate our hopes on what’s most important for our future.
Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Paying close attention to financial matters makes good sense now that the materialistic Moon is moving through your 2nd House of Resources. You may have to restrain your spending in order to manage your monthly expenses, but whatever corrective actions you take today might not have much impact until next week. There’s no need to panic as long you take care of your business responsibly. Being thankful for what you currently have turns your outlook in a positive direction.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Dealing with practical matters is a constructive use of your time, but something still bothers you even if you cross off everything on your to-do list. Perhaps an unresolved emotional issue is gnawing away at your sense of accomplishment, making you doubt your own abilities now. Putting extra effort into your work tilts the scales of judgment in your favor. But make sure that you also honor your feelings by sharing your concerns with a dependable friend.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Conversations are lively today, words flowing back and forth with a natural rhythm. It seems as if there is a really good connection between you and your friends, but something significant isn’t being addressed. The more questions you ask in your process of discovery, the less you realize you know. Instead of hunting down answers now, simply relax and enjoy the lighthearted interactions. You can continue your search for meaning tomorrow.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

Don’t act so surprised if your friends come through for you today in an unexpected way. You might be embarrassed at first because you are feeling more vulnerable than you prefer. However, a negative gut reaction can morph into a more positive one once you realize that you’re all on the same team. Look at the help you receive as an opportunity to get closer to someone you truly admire.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Offering your generosity and loyalty to a friend in times of turmoil is something you do quite naturally. However, your actions might affect more than any one single person. There’s no need to hold back if others are looking to you for leadership. Deliver the goods, along with a song and a smile; your dependability acts as a shining example for those around you.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You’re naturally motivated to stand high on the mountain so you have the very best view, yet developing your vision may be quite complicated now. Intellectually, you can expand your perspective through education, so consider enrolling in a course or even traveling to widen your horizons. There’s no need to confine your explorations to books or classrooms; you might learn more by embarking on an adventure in the real world.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Your love for the finer things in life lures you into an emotionally charged conversation with a close friend as you explore the possibilities ahead. You’re interested in going on a trip or doing something that breaks you out of your current routine, but you don’t want to move too fast. Talking about change is safer now than actually making your move. Consider today’s discussion as the first step toward making your dreams come true.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Getting into an argument is easier than resolving it. If you run into a stubborn person who tries to tell you what to do today, it might irk you enough to tell them off. Unfortunately, even a small disagreement now could escalate into an emotionally uncomfortable confrontation. Being aware of your intensity enables you to keep the energy from getting too extreme. Sidestepping conflict by taking the high road turns things in a positive direction.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Your own crazy antics may be more bothersome to you today than anyone else’s fickle behavior. The good news is that everyone seems to be changing their minds as quickly as you are now. The bad news, however, is that it can be difficult to pin anyone down to specifics when it comes to relationship matters. Exploring your options is healthy as long as you don’t commit to anything you might later regret.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

If you have been keeping up with your recent responsibilities, then relax, hit the reset button and recharge your emotional batteries today. Doing something special with a loved one or even just hanging out on your own can bring blissful satisfaction. But you are more restless than usual and could also start a few projects just to occupy your mind. Keep your priorities straight and remember that it’s time to listen to your heart.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You may grow anxious at work today because you want to begin your weekend as soon as possible. You are looking forward to some exciting activities now, but have a few non-negotiable domestic chores to finish before you cut loose to enjoy yourself. Try not to let your anticipation of the future get in the way of your current efficiency or you will have even more to do before the fun can start.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Expressing your feelings can be challenging when language falls short of describing the richness of your imagination. However, the right words come to you just in the nick of time today, increasing your confidence that you can get your message across. But it’s not about rambling on aimlessly; state your point succinctly and then step back to let the other person respond. Remember, communication is a two-way street.

Your Love Horoscopes for the Weekend of June 15 – 17

Weekend Love: Lunar Love

by Jeff Jawer

 

Picking up the Pace

June 15 – 17

Friday is the best day to chill with the Moon hanging out in easygoing Taurus. Simple activities create a sense of calm that makes everyone feel comfortable. Sticking to familiar places and faces reduces stress, yet the price paid is a lack of stimulation. However, stubborn resistance to new experiences and dealing with difficult emotions might prevent relationships from moving forward.

Mobility increases considerably on Saturday night when the Moon dances into flirty Gemini. It’s as if most of the evening continues the slow, Taurus, relaxed pace until suddenly the energy changes into a more playful, curious and dynamic time. The late night lunar shift into flighty Gemini arouses feelings of restlessness and inspires conversations with all sorts of people on every conceivable subject. Words flow freely now without too much concern about facts or consistency, so take what is said from someone new with a giant grain of salt.

Talking into the wee hours of the morning is likely to get Sunday off to a late start, but it’s best to have a wide-open schedule, anyway. The curious Gemini Moon doesn’t like to follow a plan, making this an ideal day for practicing spontaneity. A short trip and some casual shopping are a couple of fun ways to play. Plenty of phone calls and online communications are likely with the evocative Moon’s presence in this highly conversational sign. Indulging in a little bedtime reading is a perfect way to end the night

Your Daily Horoscopes for Thursday, June 14

We can tire ourselves out today since we’re tempted to take on too many projects as the excitable Aries Moon provokes the Sun, Venus and Jupiter in restless Gemini. The airy Gemini planets provide fuel to the Aries fire, prompting us to act before we think. Fortunately, we feel more stable once the Moon shifts into steady Taurus at 12:21 pm EDT. The hectic pace temporarily slows down, allowing us to be productive without depleting our energy.
Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You may feel as if you’re spinning your wheels today, without getting much done at all. Part of the problem is that you are not as grounded as you think. Fortunately, you can make a conscious decision to choose a path that demonstrates your commitment to finish what you start. Focusing on just one task at a time enables you to have the positive impact you seek by the end of the day.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You don’t want everyone to know what you are thinking today, but you still may not be able to avoid sharing too much. You must pay close attention to your words or you might inadvertently reveal more than you intend. However, limiting your interactions with others can give you the personal space you need now. Stay on track by resisting the tempting distractions as best you can.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Being presented with other people’s intriguing plans can be overwhelming, making it tough to know who is cleverest, you or your friend. In any event, there are too many ideas flying around today and you could exhaust yourself just trying to keep up. However, you don’t need to overcompensate by going quiet; just don’t overdo it when you share your thoughts. Create a safe environment where everyone feels comfortable exploring their options.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You’re feeling more independent on the job and would like to stretch your wings a bit. Unfortunately, you may be asked to help a fellow worker, which can temporarily restrict your freedom of movement. However, this doesn’t mean you should be any less compassionate in your dealings with others. Although you might be resistant at first, you can deepen a friendship by being available now for someone in need.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Although you may be looking far into the future, current circumstances pull you back to your responsibilities in the present moment. Nevertheless, you’re not eager to shift gears so suddenly and a part of you continues to imagine what’s ahead. Just remember that everything happens for a reason. Even if you must let go of your vision today, nothing will be lost. Your dreams will return when you have more time to attend to them.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You may still feel a bit scattered today, especially at work. It’s as if you are too excited to settle down to the specific tasks at hand. Try not to worry so much about missing a deadline, for the internal stress generated by anxiety is counterproductive. Everything should turn out fine now even if you fall behind; what you don’t finish today can be completed tomorrow.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

If you have been a bit self-absorbed recently, you may be snapped out of your current reverie by an unexpected event. Something special might happen today that reminds you of the magic of the universe and it’s easy to make this even more important than it actually is. Remember that you are in an intense period of change that will continue over the next several months, so reserve your conclusions until you have a bit more perspective.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You may take on too many projects now, yet the chores you finish early in the day will open up more free time for you later. Complete as much as you can or you might have to turn down an exciting last-minute invitation. Packing as much as possible into the morning hours ensures that you’ll have sufficient time to play with your friends today, recharging your batteries for the work ahead.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

If you have too much fun during the day today, you might have to pay for it emotionally later on. Let others know if you truly want to participate, but don’t feel obligated to say yes in order to live up to someone else’s expectations. Ultimately, your best strategy is to carefully pace yourself so you’ll still have some energy leftover in the evening for what’s important to you.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

It’s challenging to remain focused on your own agenda today since your thoughts are flying all over the place. You might even try to do the same old thing in a completely new way just to avoid boredom. The problem is that your new approach could throw off your natural rhythm and ultimately slow you down. Save your creativity for something more fun while getting your chores out of the way as efficiently as possible.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

There’s so much to accomplish early in the day that you could easily lose sight of how to enjoy yourself. The simple solution is to avoid trying to do everything all at once. Remember, whatever you cannot finish now can be completed in a day or two. Finding a manageable balance between work and play makes all the difference in the world.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Your excitement about taking some time off can morph into anxiety if you are so overwhelmed with your current responsibilities that you’re afraid of losing the opportunity. Instead of projecting the pressure you currently feel into the future, keep reminding yourself to calm down and accomplish as much as you can right now. Thankfully, taking care of your obligations in a methodical manner helps to ease your concerns and enables you to relax later on.

Daily Horoscopes for Wednesday, June 13

Although we want to buzz around today, we’re more conservative in our actions as the flighty Gemini Sun is anchored by its smooth trine to stabilizing Saturn. Meanwhile, the impulsive Aries Moon prompts reckless behavior. Nevertheless, we’re best served by steadily working toward our goals by building structures that will endure the tests of time. Ultimately, it’s easier now to make something real happen, but we still must earn what we receive.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You can feel the adrenaline pumping through your body, but something is still holding you back today. Your inclination is to shut out all the contradictions by closing your eyes and just jumping into the fray. Although the impetuous Aries Moon tempts you to rush dangerously close to the edge, it’s beneficial to think things through before going too far. Exercising self-restraint now is easier than usual and, luckily, works in your favor.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Good ideas are popping into your awareness today, but you cannot follow each one of them to its conclusion. Your smartest strategy is to narrow the field of possibilities now before taking action. It’s silly to waste energy running around from one project to another, even if they are worthwhile. There is a gem in the mixture; your assignment is to find it.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

You may be tougher on yourself than anyone realizes today. In some ways you’re like a stage magician, for others just see what you want them to see. Everyone is fascinated with your hands waving around in the air and the amazing stories you can tell, but they may not understand this show is all to hide the mental juggling act you’re performing behind the curtain. Instead of going to such extreme measures, just take action now to fix what’s wrong.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

Everything has grown pretty intense lately, but it’s nearly impossible to tell who’s really in control — and this is part of the problem. Don’t try to outsmart others with your logic, or you could end up tying your emotions into knots that cannot be easily untangled. You will find allies you didn’t know you had if you simply lean toward cooperation now rather than competition.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Your actions today should easily produce enduring results without a lot of extra effort. Thankfully, you probably won’t have to wave your flag as much as usual to get others to respond. However, don’t be surprised when they admire your dramatic flair instead of your work. Be humble; the real message is about what you can do now that adds meaning to your life.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You’re very proud of your work, even if others don’t seem to appreciate what you’re doing. However, you might not feel like you’re making much progress if you start to believe the negative feedback. Thankfully, you have more control of what happens than you realize. Your persistence will be rewarded, so remain focused on your objectives today no matter what anyone else says.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Being artistic isn’t all fun and games. There is hard work in doing what you do and living your life in your special way, even if it looks easy to others. Your self-discipline, combined with a strong work ethic, sets the stage for the big payoff. Although you’re tempted to take the easy way out, it’s more important to keep the production lines moving so you can reach your goals.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Although your current feelings may be rather complicated, you can learn a lot by exploring them. Fortunately, you’re quite capable when it comes to integrating complex emotions that have been lurking around in your shadowy subconscious. However, you must resist the temptation to leave questions unanswered now just because you are bored. Instead of skipping off to the next intriguing distraction today, stay in one place long enough to satisfy your quest for meaning.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You might feel as if you’re in a restrictive box today, but oddly enough you don’t seem to mind. Although you believe that unconventional thinking is your fastest way out of a difficult situation, you’re not at liberty now to act on your thoughts. Ultimately, it’s difficult to decide whether to be rebellious or rational. Others may encourage more radical behavior, but a traditional approach increases your chances for success.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You Mountain Goats climb harder when the going gets tough, as if you’re trying to prove that nothing will stop you. Nevertheless, it’s challenging to focus now as you move from one project to another. Ironically, you may appear more scattered than you actually are. There’s a method to your madness today, so don’t let anyone plant a seed of doubt in your mind. You can reach the top of the mountain if you believe that you can.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Others tend to take you quite seriously today, even if you’re channeling the weirdest and most eccentric parts of yourself. Fortunately, you get to play both ends of the spectrum, being an unconventional rebel and a disciplined student. Although an impulsive reaction seems like the opposite of a more compulsive approach, you can somehow combine the attributes into a single posture that gets you what you need. Enjoy the balancing game while it lasts.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

A family problem that remains unsolved now takes an important turn toward resolution. However, the conflict isn’t over yet because the final outcome has not yet been determined. In the meantime, you can still get closer to compromise if you just allow your true feelings out of the bag. Embrace the future; sharing your hopes and fears creates an atmosphere of trust.

Your Daily Horoscopes for Tuesday, June 12

Pent-up tensions are expressed unexpectedly, suddenly changing the direction of our day. The Moon’s shift into excitable Aries at 12:21 am EDT puts us on edge and increases our need for adrenaline. Her stressful alignments with wild Uranus and passionate Pluto intensify our emotions, especially if we’re engaged in any kind of power struggle. Luckily, our flexibility can be the crucial key that turns a difficult time into a positive experience.
Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Trusting your natural talent to react in the moment without a lot of forethought enables you to turn a complicated situation into one that is beneficial for everyone involved. Just remember to respond to an unexpected change of plans at work without going overboard. There’s no need to convince anyone that you have everything under control, because you don’t. The good news is that no one expects you to have all the answers.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Your fantasies are spilling over into your environment, challenging you to separate your real life from your dreams. It’s difficult to make a decision now because everything tends to look better than it actually is. Stop and listen to what others are saying; a reality check is a smart idea today prior to making any significant moves.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Someone can misread your intentions today, reminding you that judging a book by its cover is never a good idea. Your current behavior says one thing yet your heart says something else. Nevertheless, don’t blame others for misunderstanding your message. Trickster Mercury is still twisting your tongue into expressing your truth in a very convoluted manner. Fewer words now are better than too many.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You may become drawn into other people’s business today, even if you usually try to avoid drama by keeping to yourself. Helping someone out sometimes is a slippery slope and being aware of your own feelings can prevent you from sliding too far and too fast. Putting up protective boundaries to maintain your emotional security isn’t necessary now. Thankfully, you can still be a friend without losing yourself along the way.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

You feel so good about yourself today that you want to say yes to everyone and everything. You make friends quite naturally because your generosity of spirit is contagious. Nevertheless, a bit of self-restraint is necessary or your overconfidence can set you up for disappointment later on. However, demonstrating your responsible outlook on life may not be as much fun at first. Thankfully, setting priorities enables you to accomplish more than you expect.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Although you’re receiving sufficient support to go ahead with your project now, moving too fast only creates problems. Your friends and associates may be enthusiastic about your plans, encouraging you along your way. However, if you bolt ahead too quickly, you could actually end up at the wrong destination. Even if you’re eager to move forward today, taking your time pays off in ways you cannot yet imagine.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

A friend or business partner may promise one thing today and deliver something quite different. You yearn for consistency now and really don’t like it when others lack follow-through. Your natural tendency is to graciously take it in stride, without showing your annoyance or anger. Nevertheless, it might be healthier to express your need for assistance from someone you can rely on. Your desire for harmony is admirable, but you still deserve respect just like everyone else.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Everything seems copasetic on the surface, but you may feel as if you took something one step too far. You can’t retreat; what’s already done is done. Keep in mind, though, that others may not be as judgmental of you as you are of yourself. You might not be able to avoid spinning your inner web of worries today, but remember that you don’t have to reveal your insecurities to anyone else. Things will look much better tomorrow.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

There is so much happening in your life now that it’s nearly impossible to keep up with every little detail. People around you may begin to annoy you, even if they are your friends. Try to look beyond your irritation, since you might be overreacting about something relatively insignificant. When in doubt today, express your thoughts by offering a positive perspective instead of venting your concerns. If your uncertainty lingers overnight, then find the right person to share your fears with tomorrow.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You may feel as if you are being thrust forward like a rocket ship today, and you’re already way outside of your element. You really don’t want to do something if you aren’t ready, but you might not have the luxury now of saying no. Luckily, you can accept the challenges of new assignments without losing your footing. You are capable of reaching the stars even if you prefer to keep your feet on the ground.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

It’s so easy to fall in love these days that you might do it more than once. But allowing yourself to indulge in a romantic fantasy doesn’t necessarily mean that you must bring it out into the open. Your dreams are intense now, so pay extra attention to what’s happening to minimize confusion. There’s no need to express your desires to anyone else unless you truly feel ready to do so. Channeling your passion into a creative outlet will produce lasting results.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You are hearing conflicting messages today from your own inner guidance system. Keep in mind that you are more sensitive now than usual and could also be picking up subtle signals from those around you. Even if you don’t have a clear plan in place, choose your next project wisely and get started. You can always make necessary modifications when you are further along in the process.

the daily humorscopes for tuesday, june 12

     the daily humorscope     

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Aries              (March 21 – April 19)
Today you will realize that it seems quite impossible to make any sense out of life, especially when you consider what life must be like in Nebraska.
Taurus              (April 20 – May 20)
Today someone will accuse you of spending too much time with your computer.  The way to handle that is to say you’ve got “lots of work to do.” (And don’t let them spot you fondly caressing it.)
Gemini              (May 21 – June 20)
Excellent day to do something new with bean curd.   
Cancer              (June 21 – July 22)
While poring over some old historical documents, you will discover that the Norman invasion was actually supposed to be the “Bob” invasion, but Norman stole the credit for it.  Sadly, it will turn out to be too late to change it now.
Leo              (July 23 – August 22)
You will soon accidentally discover why it is that so many things “taste like chicken.” It’s because they ARE chickens, in clever disguises.   
Virgo              (August 23 – September 22)
Excellent day to shuffle your feet.  Remember: it’s OK to shuffle your feet or to shuffle your cards, but you should never shuffle your nose.
Libra              (September 23 – October 22)
Between now and the vernal equinox, trust anyone with freckles.  After that, trust no one.   
Scorpio              (October 23 – November 21)
The world will be dim and grey, and cold.  Carrion crows will caw at you from the edges of the world, and deep cold water will rush by in rivers without names.  Ahead, on the peak of a mountain, is a glimmering golden light.  Either that, or you’ll get gum stuck to your shoe.  (Sometimes these things are hard to read.)
Sagittarius              (November 22 – December 21)
People are starting to take you a bit too seriously.  Try wearing your bunny slippers to work.
Capricorn              (December 22 – January 20)
Excellent time to start a new company, making software to help people with mental problems.  You will call it SchizoSoft.  Your motto: “Who Do You Want To Be Today?”
Aquarius              (January 21 – February 18)
Someone who you really dislike, who is arrogance personified…will be nice to you.  This is a good time to be afraid.   
Pisces              (February 19 – March 20)
Your requests are being ignored.  Often you can get people to pay attention by simply adding a few words to the end of your request, such as “Pick up your socks, dear, or die screaming.”

Your Daily Horoscopes for Monday, June 11th

We get glimpses of the big changes ahead when the cosmic rock and roll takes us to a new level today. The tempo of life picks up speed as expansive Jupiter hurries into restless Gemini for a yearlong visit. Additionally, speaking the truth can stir up relationship trouble as messenger Mercury forms anxious aspects with revolutionary Uranus and transformational Pluto. Thankfully, the compassionate Pisces Moon enables us to soothe emotional turmoil.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You would prefer to keep your feelings to yourself today, but real-world obligations rudely pull you out of your inner reverie. Whether you like it or not, your attention must be focused on career issues rather than personal ones. Fortunately, a resolution to your current dilemma is possible if you state your needs with clarity. Remain relentless until you’re on a professional path that you can follow without sacrificing your integrity.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Intense discussions about your most personal values are stressful, but you might want someone else’s point of view to clarify your own. However, your plan to involve others can backfire because they might have their own strong opinions on what you should do, setting up the likelihood of a verbal disagreement. Keep a tender spot in your heart for those you love in order to minimize any unnecessary conflict.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Your uncharacteristic self-analysis pulls you into the mysterious shadows of your subconscious, bringing up old issues of self-worth. However, your current anxiety is probably linked to your relationship with the material world as you worry about your finances. If money matters present a challenge today, it’s time to face whatever stands between you and your desired security. Taking a proactive approach now prevents a crisis down the road.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

An intense character may enter your life now that mischievous Mercury opposes dark Pluto, presenting you with an emotional dilemma. You must decide whether to continue on your own path or to go along with someone else’s agenda. Although everything seems dramatic now, a temporary retreat enables you to gain clarity so you know exactly which way you want to go.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

You are resistant to talk too much today because you believe that others already know enough about you. Although you prefer to avoid conflict, an unexpected argument can suddenly pull you off track. Unfortunately, you might not even have a choice now. Just make certain that you fully commit to the process, since the only way you can get out is by going through it. Improve the interpersonal dynamics by showing all your cards. Exercising full disclosure is your smartest strategy.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Emotional comfort may be elusive today as verbal sparring distracts you from making a real connection with someone you love. Even a straightforward romance can grow complicated today as communicator Mercury forms tense aspects with passionate Pluto and disruptive Uranus. Nevertheless, don’t let the apparent lack of warmth discourage you. Intimacy doesn’t come without a struggle these days. Engaging in an open and honest dialogue clears the air of tension, allowing sweeter times to follow.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Your desire to be impartial dredges up hidden family secrets and brings unexpressed thoughts into awareness now as you go looking for answers. Allow communicator Mercury to do his job and initiate conversations, even if sharing at an emotional level precipitates an unpleasant confrontation. Thankfully, you should emerge unscathed and even relieved if you interact willingly, instead of avoiding the issues to keep the peace.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You are like a ferryman today, shuffling to and fro between two opposing perspectives. Thankfully, you aren’t easily deceived into believing that one side is right and the other is wrong. Nevertheless, don’t get sucked into thinking your own point of view is superior to anyone else’s opinion; a bit of intellectual detachment is exactly what you need.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Although you normally say what’s on your mind, you may try to avoid expressing your feelings today because they make you uncomfortable. You might grow so passionate over a personal belief that you don’t understand how anyone else could possibly think differently. Ironically, your ideas provoke strong emotions in others which can lead to conflict. Thankfully, the turmoil will pass quickly if you face your fears with the courage of your convictions.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Even if you’re feeling optimistic now, you must still handle issues that can bring you into direct opposition with a formidable opponent. Although you are prepared for battle, you might secretly wish you could just walk away. It seems as if your life has become a series of powerful transformations. You are not who you once were, yet you’re not the person you are still becoming. Nevertheless, take it easy even in the midst of conflict, for real change takes time to unfold.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You may be required to do something today that you would simply rather not do — yet your resistance is futile. You could grow angry if it appears that someone is working behind the scenes to undermine your positive efforts. Taking a self-righteous stand only makes matters worse. Rather than just reacting to other people’s demands with resentment, remain open to further discussion. You may be surprised that reaching a satisfying compromise is easier than you think.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

It might appear as if there is no solution in sight to a current disagreement. Although loyalties in friendships may be rearranging as the current passions rise, you have a secret weapon at your disposal today. Your current ability to emotionally detach while staying intellectually engaged could save the day. Carefully analyze the whole situation to locate pieces of common ground upon which everyone can stand.

Your Love Horoscopes for the Week of June 11th

The weekend gets off to a mellow start with the mood-setting Moon traveling through easygoing Taurus on Friday and Saturday. Simple activities that calm the nerves and please the senses invite closeness. There is, though, a stubborn side to the Bull, making flexibility hard to find. The energy changes dramatically after the Moon shifts into airy and adaptable Gemini in the wee hours of Sunday morning. Keeping things light and breezy allows you to connect with others without going too deep.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Take a deep breath and slow everything down if you want to catch the love train this weekend. The Moon is moseying along in placid Taurus on Friday and Saturday when patience will be highly appreciated. Enjoy the sweet moments of life as if you have all the time in the world. Sensual activities like massage and music should be particularly satisfying, especially when shared with the right person. The pace picks up considerably after the evocative Moon moves into flirtatious Gemini early on Sunday morning.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Set work aside to indulge in pleasure during this delicious weekend. The Moon is shining in your sensual sign on Friday and Saturday to remind you of how desirable you can be when you’re not trying to make an impression. Delighting in nature, music, art or some good food with someone special enriches any type of relationship. It’s time to mingle if you’re single; celebrating the joy of being yourself is likely to attract plenty of interesting company. The Moon’s shift into flirty Gemini on Sunday morning won’t give you much time to rest. Put on your party shoes and dance!

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Try not to overload your schedule or exhaust your mind with too many plans and activities this weekend. The Moon is hanging out in tranquil Taurus and your 12th House of Privacy on Friday and Saturday, which is ideal for spending time alone or relaxing with an easygoing individual. You will attract more than your share of attention once the Moon enters your sociable sign on Sunday morning. But until then playing the strong and silent type is your best strategy.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

The company of supportive friends is especially welcome this Friday and Saturday with the dependable Taurus Moon occupying your 11th House of Groups. Participating in a community project or doing volunteer work is a wonderful way to meet someone new or to put your current relationship in a healthier place. Sunday’s lunar shift into your 12th House of Solitude is perfect for scheduling some quiet time alone or with one undemanding person.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

People are relying on you to be steady and responsible with the Moon’s presence in earthy Taurus and your 10th House of Authority on Friday and Saturday. Taking the initiative in organizing social activities puts you in a good light as long as you’re not too pushy in your approach. Keeping plans simple so you can enjoy yourself without having to worry about minor details shows off both your reliable and playful sides. Sunday’s Gemini Moon lights up your 11th House of Groups, indicating that the party is just getting started. Work can feel like play if you are mixing with the right crowd.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

The sensual Taurus Moon is traveling through your 9th House of Beliefs and Faraway Places on Friday and Saturday. People and experiences from different cultures can provide a sense of adventure in a safe situation. Connecting with someone through a school function or religious event might also ignite sparks now. Sunday’s energy is different, though, with the jittery Gemini Moon hanging out at the top of your chart, inspiring your curiosity and overloading you with obligations.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Dealing with a stubborn partner could be a tricky issue on Friday and Saturday. The Moon in slow-to-change Taurus occupies your 8th House of Deep Sharing, which can indicate a difference of opinions over values, desires, sex or money. Luckily, patience and practicality are the keys that can open the door to intimacy. Avoid a direct challenge as a more subtle approach now will bring a much sweeter outcome. The air clears on Sunday morning when the Moon shifts into friendly Gemini and your 9th House of Adventure. Free your mind and the rest will follow.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Relationships are rocking this weekend, starting with the Moon in loyal Taurus and your 7th House of Partners on Friday. Projecting a calm sense of authority is irresistible to others, kicking a current alliance into a higher gear or attracting the attention of someone new. Practicing patience pays big dividends now so don’t put pressure on yourself or anyone else to make the magic happen. Committing to any one plan is tricky business once the Moon enters fickle Gemini and your 8th House of Intimacy on Sunday morning.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

The earthy Taurus Moon in your 6th House of Service is not the ideal cosmic alignment for cultivating romance this weekend. Still, you could enhance your relationship life by effectively collaborating with someone on a project. Forget about making big promises, when sticking to the little ones is enough to make a positive impression. Sunday’s great for connecting with those you love since an early morning lunar transit into talkative Gemini and your 7th House of Partners gets the conversational ball rolling.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Clear your calendar of responsibilities so that you have plenty of free time to play this weekend. The sensual Taurus Moon’s presence in your 5th House of Romance on Friday and Saturday is an invitation to open your heart and have some fun. You don’t have to do anything elaborate to attract the attention of someone new or to arouse interest from your current partner. Indulging in simple pleasures can be a special bonding experience. The Moon’s move into busy Gemini and your 6th House of Details early on Sunday morning gently reminds you to attend to practical matters.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You might want to stick close to home on Friday and Saturday with the Moon sinking into your 4th House of Roots. A quiet retreat is likely to be more fulfilling now than being out and about in a noisy crowd. Entertaining at your place, though, could create some emotional magic. Sunday’s another story as flirtatious behavior comes naturally and you attract plenty of attention with the chatty Gemini Moon lighting up your playful 5th house.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

If you’ve been waiting for the right time for an important conversation, Friday or Saturday might do the trick. The Moon is in calm and reasonable Taurus and your 3rd House of Communication, giving you an excellent opportunity to express yourself clearly. Yet even a casual chat could lead to a deeper connection if you take the time to share what’s on your mind. Shaking things up at home helps make Sunday a stimulating and memorable day.

Your Horoscope Helpers

By Annie B. Bond

Every sun sign has spirit-helpers that include ancient gods and goddesses,  mythic figures from many different cultures–including Celtic, Hindu, and Ancient  Greek–angels, saints, and much more.

Find out who your horoscope helpers are, so you can begin a more conscious  relationship with them. This is rich, fascinating, and very helpful information!

Aries, March 21-April 19:  Khamael, Samuel (angels); Huitzilopochtli  (Aztrec); Nergal (Babylonian); Belacadros, Brigantia, Cernunnus, Cocideus,  Morrigan, Teutates (Celtic); St. Barbara, St. Peter (Christian); Amun, Khnum,  Neith (Egyptian); Laran (Etruscan); Ares, Achilles, Amazons, Athena, Dione,  Jason, Hercules, Nike, Phrixus and Helle (greek); Indrea, Agni, Durga (Hindu);  Odin, Tyr, Wodan (Nordic); Mars, Pallas, Minerva, Bellona (Roman); Emperor,  Tower (Tarot).

Taurus, April 20-May 21:  Anaele (Angel); Coatlicue (Aztec); Aine (Celtic);  St. Simon (Christian); Bastet, Geb (Egyptian); Aphrodite, Ariadne, Astarte,  Daedalus, Dionysus, Europa, Hephaestus, Minotaur, Theseus (Greek); Brahma,  Ganesh, Kubera, Lakshmi, Uma (Hindu); Freya (Nordic); Venus, Mithra, Vulcan  (Roman); Ki (Sumerian); Hierophant, Empress (Tarot).

Gemini, May 22-June 20:  Raphael, Ongkanon (Angels); Nabu (Babylonian); St.  Christopher, St. Nicholas, St. Anthony of Pauda (Christian); Anubis, Thoth  (Egyptian); Turms (Etruscan); Hermes, Castor and Pollux, Meti (Greek);  Sarasvati, Hanuman (Hindu); Mercury, Apollo, Romulus and Remus (Roman);  Magician, Lovers (Tarot).

Cancer, June 21-July 22:  Gabriel (Angel); Sin (Babylonian); Arianrhod,  Ceridwen (Celtic); Mary, St. Andrew (Christian); Kwan Yin, Shing-Moo (China);  Isis, Khonsu, Thoth (Egyptian); Losna (Etruscan); Artemis, Atlante, Astarte,  Hecate, Selena (Greek); Parvati, Soma, Subhadra, Tara, Kali (Hindu); Susa-No-O  (Japan); Itzamna (Maya); Freyr, Hurukan, Mani, Nanna (Nordic); Lebhana-Leukothea  (Persian); Diana, Lucina, Ops (Roman); Nanna (Sumerian); High Priestess, Chariot  (Tarot).

Leo, July 23- Aug 22:  Michael (Angel); Quetzalcoatl, Tonatiuh,  Huitzilopochtli (Aztec); Shamash (Babylonian); Belanus, Lugh (Celtic); Jesus,  St. Jerome. St. Mark (Christian); Ammon, Aton, Helius, Mendes, Osiris, Ra,  Sekhmet (Egyptian); Cautha (Etruscan); Asclepios, Apollo, Dianus, Dionysus,  Helios, Heracles, Hyperion, Teia (Greek); Balarama, Indrea, Pushan, Savitri,  Surya, Vishnu, Varuna, Brahma (Hindu); Inti (Inca); Amaterasu (Japan); Itzamna  (Maya); Thor (Nordic); Mithras, Zoroaster (Persian); Apollo, Hercules, Jupiter,  Aesculapius, Sol (Roman); Strength, Sun (Tarot).

Virgo, Aug 23-Sept 22:  Raphael (Angel); Nidaba (Babylonian); St, Anthony of  Egypt, Virgin Mary (Christian); Asclepios, Hermes, Astraea, Demeter, Hestia,  Chiron (Greek); Ganga (Hindu); Mercury, Ceres, Vesta, Aesculapius (Roman);  Hermit (Tarot).

Libra, Sept 23-Oct 22:  Anaele, Lucipher (Angels); Quetzalcoatl (Aztec);  Ishtar (Babylonian); St. Mary Magdalen (Christian); Isis, Maat (Egyptian); Turan  (Etruscan); Aphrodite, Hera, Athena, Adonis, Themis (Greek); Krishna, Shakti,  Lakshmi (Hindu); Freya (Nordic); Venus, Juno, Pallas, Vulcan (Roman); Justice  (Tarot).

Scorpio, Oct 23-Nov 21:  Azrael (Angel); Mitlontecutli, Mictlancihuatl,  Tezcatlipoca, Tlazolteotl (Aztec); Ereshkigal (Babyonian); Don, Epona, Gwydion  (Celtic); St. Thomas, St. Martin (Christian); Anubis, Hosiris, Selket  (Egyptian); Alpanu, Matus (Etruscan); Hades, Hecate, Persephone, Orion, Orpheus  (Greek); Shiva, Kali, Kama, Bali, Yama (Hindu); Yima (Persian); Pluto, Mars,  Vulcan (Roman); Death, Judgement (Tarot).

Sagittarius, Nov 22-Dec 21:  Sachiel (Angel); Marduk (Babylonian);  Bussumarus, Dagda (Celtic); St. James, St. Sebastian (Christia); Tina  (Etruscan); Zeus, Chiron, Ixion, Themis, Artemis (Greek); Ganesha, Indra  (Hindu); Thor, Donar (Nordic); Jupiter, Fortuna, Diana (Roman); Wheel of  Fortune, Temperance (Tarot).

Capricorn, Dec 22-Jan 19:  Kassiel (Angel); Ninurta (Babylonian); St. Matthew  (Christian); Consentes, Min (Egyptian); Cronus, Medusa, Pan, Amalthea, Atlas,  Rhea (Greek); Kali, Shiva (Hindu); Saturn, Janus, Vesta (Roman); World (Tarot).

Aquarius, Jan 20-Feb 18:  Uriel (Angel); Taddheus, St. Francis of Assisi, St.  John the Baptist (Christian); Horus, Nut (Egyptian); Uranus, Deucalion, Hebe,  Ganymede, Hephaestus (Greek); Varuna (Hindu); Itzamma (Maya); Dionysus, Juno  (Roman); Fool, Star (Tarot).

Pisces, Feb 19-March 20:  Asariel (Angel); Bridget, Rhiannon (Celtic); Kwan  Yin, Nu Kwa (China); Matthias, Jonah, St. Brendan the Navigator, St. Joseph of  Cupertino (Christian); Isis, Bes (Egyptian); Nethuns (Etruscan); Poseidon,  Atagartis, Cassiopeia (Greek); Varuna (Hindu); Susanowo (Japanese); Aesgir,  Njord (Nordic); Neptune, Cosus, Dionysus (Roman); Ea (Sumerian); Hanged Man,  Moon (Tarot).