After today, we could all buy stock in Kleenex and become millionaires, lol! I have learned you might as well have a sense of humor just to get by in this world. Seriously though, there is so much I want to say, I can’t put it into words. I didn’t tell Lady Beltane but the doctors had told me how long I had after I got out of the hospital till my spleen started acting up. Its amazing, I didn’t know a darn thing about my spleen till this, now I know more than I want too. Apparently the first blood clot I had didn’t come from my leg, it came from my spleen. The doctors in Nashville told me that was the first warning sign something bad was going on. If the doctors up here had took more time and run more tests they might have found the problem, then again they might not. The reason they couldn’t get my white blood cells up was also because of it. It seems the spleen can go crazy and just start throwing clots, eating your blood cells and after I was told all that, I shut my ears. But going to bed each night wondering if tomorrow might be the day, is a horrible feeling I hope none of you ever have to face. It is like have a dark cloud hanging over you. I had almost given up hope but something inside me told not too, I was a fighter, hang in there just a little bit longer. Why I didn’t know. But today, to have that cloud lifted and no more feelings of dread, just hit me like someone had knocked the air out of me. I couldn’t believe it. It was beyond words what I experienced when I saw there was hope and you had given it to me. It is even a more wonderful feeling to know you are loved, people do care and you aren’t all alone in the world.
My precious family, you have given me so much today I cannot begin to describe it. I can feel your warmth, your compassion and your love. Perhaps we aren’t blood but I feel closer to you now than I have ever felt toward any of my blood relatives (except my mother). When I lost her, my world fell apart. Over the years, I have gradually put it back together. Then this happened and it started to fall apart again. I felt I was starting to lose everything, just hanging on. Then out of the shadows and darkness, there came a ray of hope. That ray of hope was you. What you have done for me, I can never repay, there is no way I can. You have given me my life and what a precious gift life is. Never take it for granted. Grab each moment and live it to the fullest. Never take your family, your friends, your children or anyone else close to you for granted. You never know and I can tell you that is one of the most terrible feelings in the world, thinking today might be your last day.
I can tell you, “thank you, thank you, thank you,” over and over again but it just doesn’t seem adequate enough for what you have given me, my life, a second chance. Thank you, my luvs. Thank you so very, very much.
I love you,