I would like to start by extending our sympathy to all the victims and families of the mass murder this morning in Las Vegas. I don’t understand animals that would take a gun and try to kill as many people as possible. In fact, I don’t want too. They have no feelings or compassion for their fellow man. They are simply animals. they don’t understand the pain or the agony of losing someone you love. I do. Waking up and hearing this, only added to the heartache I already feel. Your loved one gone forever. Never to hear their voice, see their smile or feel their presence is a very, very heavy burden to carry and come to terms with. It is especially hard to come to terms with when they are suddenly taken from you. Our thoughts, our hearts and our prayers are truly with those in Las Vegas this morning. Goddess bless them all.
I would also like to thank each and everyone of you for your kind words, prayers and blessings for the loss of our dear sister, Mystie. I am not ready to talk about it but I will say she was closer to me than my own blood sister. We grew up together, it was her brother, Lord Myst, Mystie and myself. We were family. There was nothing we wouldn’t do for each other. Mystie came down her with me when I left the mountains. Lord Myst later followed. They were sent down here to protect me. That’s ironic, isn’t it. Mountain people believe in protecting their powerful witches so that is what Mystie and Lord M was sent here to do, to protect me. I didn’t need their protection but it was insisted they could watch over me while I did the work I was suppose too. So I agreed. I have did a lot of thinking, what if I hadn’t agreed. Would Mystie still be alive? There is always the “what ifs.”
I had a wise man once tell me, “we never know the exact day we are going to pass but we can sense it.” I believe the night Mystie left she knew it was her time. Before she left, she hugged me tighter than ever before and looked me in the eye. She asked me if I remembered my promise. I thought it strange at the time but I told her I would never forget the promise I made to her. The promise was if anything happened to her, she wanted Lord Myst and myself to raise her sons. She always went out but never, ever asked me if I remembered my promise to her. I ought to have seen right then what was coming but I didn’t. I didn’t because you don’t want to think about the worse thing in your life occurring to your best friend, no, sister.
When the call came in about the wreck, my heart crumbled and I honestly don’t believe it will ever mend. Lord Myst and I both went to the ground. The next thing we thought about was her sons. How do you tell two boys their mother was gone? I called them and asked them if they could come to the house. They came right away and when they walked in the door, they knew something was wrong. Telling those two boys what had happened was, really it is unexplainable. It was horrible to have to tell them and then even worse to see two lost boys wondering why. Why did it have to happen to them? I had no answers and still have no answers.
The funeral I don’t even want to get into. We laid Mystie to rest and I know she is at peace but her passing has turned all of our worlds upside down and inside out. We have talked to the boys about what their mother wanted for them. She wanted them to go to college and do better than she did. I believe that is every parent’s dream for their children to do better than them. We told the boys she wanted their uncle and I to raise them and see they had what they needed. To see they grew up into fine young men.
Lord Myst and I have decided that we would live together (he will have his own room and I will have mind) with the boys and raise them. One is in college and he is transferring down here. The other was almost ready to start college but now he wants to take some time off due to his mother’s passing. I told him I understood and it would be fine but he would eventually have to go to college.He breaks my heart. He follows me around like a little lost puppy. He break downs and cry, I try to console him but I’m not his mother.
I won’t lie to you, this is not going to be easy. Lord Myst and I are both broke. In fact, we really don’t know where our next meal is coming from. I maxed out all my credit cards to pay for Mystie’s burial. I have no regrets in doing so, I would do it in a minute again. She was my sister and even in her passing, I would do whatever I could for her. Lord M has gone back home to sell his home and move down here. The economy is horrible and it will probably take a while for it to sell. Until it does, who knows where our next meal is coming from. I feel ashame, the boys want to take flowers to their mother’s grave and I can’t even afford that.
I didn’t mean to write a letter but y’all are the only people that understand some of the things that we go through and I can talk too. I am suppose to be the rock but this rock has crumbled. I know their is one person who keeps saying we are cursed or hexed. I can guarantee you, we are not cursed or hexed, it is called life. Life happens, shit happens. I believe you all know I grew up in a half and half house. I know when my mother passed away, the Baptists said, “It was God’s will.” I believe after hearing that enough, that is when I turned to full fledge witch. It is God’s will to leave motherless children on this planet by their self. I wondered what kind of God would do that. I was sitting at the creek thinking about that and I felt a warm presence encompass me. It was the Goddess. Something I have never told anyone, she embrace me and gave me comfort I have never found anywhere else. She told me, my mother’s passing was part of life. It was part of the divine plan. She would reincarnate but the Goddess knew that did not ease my pain. She told me even though I had no maternal mother anymore She would always be with me. She would ease my pain and guide my Path. I know for a time I did stray from her but She was always there, watching, protecting and when She decided I had learned all I needed to know about the Dark Arts, She cosmic slapped me. She brought me back to the Light. She told me, “if I didn’t know the Dark Arts, then how would I ever defend myself against them.” Funny, I thought I was being rebellious but it was the Goddess’ plan all the time.
Now I depend on the Goddess to help me raise these two boys and give them a family. To carry out their mother’s wishes. I know how the boys feel. It is very, very hard being a motherless child. Not having any family, no one to turn too, facing a cold, cruel world all by yourself. The Goddess reassured me, that will not be their life. They will have a family, they would go to school and they would make something out of themselves we could all be proud of. The Goddess told me all Lord M and I had to do was supply them with lots of love, understanding and patience and She would be with us to guide them on the right Path.
Mystie’s children are now my children. I want to give them the best I can, just like I did for my own. She knew that, that is why she insisted I raise them. My credit cards are all maxed out and so are Lord M’s. Mystie was young and didn’t have any burial insurance. I would gladly do what I did again without a minute’s hesitation. She had a beautiful funeral which she deserved. Now as the fog starts to clear from my mind, I realize I am flat broke. I don’t even have money to feed my new family. All of our sites, we have let go due to her passing. We will eventually get the store back up and running and it will bring in revenue. But until that time was are on the mercy of the world.
With all the torment, agony and heartache we have been through, please help us to have some light at the end of the tunnel. I need your help, these boys need your help. Their world has been destroyed, please help me restore some sort of normality to it. I don’t beg very often but I am not. I am begging for Jacob and Jospeh.
We will be back tomorrow, hopefully. Till then….
Lady of the AbyssP.S.
We did set up a Memorial Fund for the boys when I first notified you of Mystie’s passing. We collect $75.00. Thank you, Pamela and Barbara. Your love & support throughout the years is priceless to the WOTC and myself. Thank you again, dear sisters.