Daily Horoscopes for 3/27

 

General Daily Horoscope

 

Today’s ambitious Capricorn Moon provokes us to work extra diligently. But we may not be satisfied with our accomplishments because the Moon forms a series of conflicting aspects throughout the day. Although we might be hard on ourselves now, it’s helpful to make time to relax since sweet Venus shifts into gentle Pisces this morning. Sensitive Venus enables us to be more compassionate than the judgmental Capricorn Moon might otherwise suggest.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You may have second thoughts about your current direction in life today. Even if you have achieved professional success you still might wonder how long you’ll be able to maintain your current position. However, the deeper message now is not to take things for granted. Considering your alternatives is fine; just don’t make any lasting decisions for a few more days.

 

 

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You are eager to hang out with like-minded people now that your key planet Venus is traveling through your 11th House of Friends. Although you prefer to include others in your plans, there’s still a part of you that doesn’t want to waste time just going along with the group. You have your own dreams to follow today, so don’t be afraid to spend some time by yourself, even if you think that you don’t want to be alone.

 

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Your friends may come up with a crazy plan that sounds like a lot of fun today. However, previous commitments can keep you from joining the group until you fulfill your promises. Thankfully, being responsible now won’t necessarily prevent you from having a pleasurable time if you’re willing to plan out your day. Avoiding details sounds like a good idea until you realize that facing reality is your ticket to happiness.

 

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

You would like to be independent today so you can do whatever you want. Unfortunately, you may feel restraint coming from two directions. Domestic responsibilities or household chores could prevent you from thinking of yourself over others. Additionally, you might lose your enthusiasm for adventure if a close friend or partner comes to you with a serious problem that requires your help. Don’t worry; you’ll have a chance to do your own thing within a few days.

 

 

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Dreams of adventure get mixed up with romantic fantasies today, tempting you to believe that you can actually embark on that wild safari, mountain trek or space exploration. However, you are probably emotionally tied to your regular Sunday activities and aren’t that willing to give up your routine. Anxiety mounts because it’s difficult to reconcile your reckless desires with your need for caution. When you realize that there’s no quick fix for your current stress, it will probably begin to dissipate on its own.

 

 

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Although you want to have a good time today, you might overplan your day, making playful activities seem too structured. Give yourself permission to skip a scheduled event so you can enjoy a bit of guilt-free chill time. Leaving your day wide open increases the possibility for real magic to occur while interacting with others.

 

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Beautiful Venus, your ruling planet, enters your 6th House of Work today, encouraging you to start a remodeling project. But even if you don’t begin the work in earnest now, at least grab a notebook and start sketching some designs. Additionally, if there are problems in a current relationship, this is an excellent time to address them. Don’t worry if you have several false starts along your way because time is on your side.

 

 

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

The sheer number of things you must do continues to be daunting, but the Capricorn Moon is holding your feet to the ground even if your head is in the clouds. Although you are tempted to float away into your fantasies, your current calling also involves assisting with the care of family members or friends. Instead of allowing yourself to get overwhelmed with your obligations, refocus on the precious heart connections you have already made.

 

 

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

It’s increasingly difficult for you to pay proper attention to all the details that seem to keep landing on your plate. You’re usually not so good with the minutia anyway, yet now with Venus shifting into spacey Pisces, you’re even less inclined to know the specifics. Thankfully, you should still be able to get through this challenging phase by widening your personal boundaries and opening your heart.

 

 

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You have a lot going on at home today — so much, perhaps, that you cannot easily make time for your own pursuits. The somber Capricorn Moon in your 1st House of Personality intensifies your no-nonsense approach to living. Be careful, you can inadvertently try to make someone else the bad guy when it’s actually you that wants to stir things up.

 

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You are becoming more aware of your issues about money, and learning to handle the situation now can go a long way toward stabilizing your life. Ultimately, the fiscal conditions that are causing you trouble today are fixable. However, the problem is really about you. An intense and honest discussion can help you understand the relationship between your self-esteem and the money you make. The higher your self-worth, the more worth your self actually has.

 

 

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Venus, the love planet, enters your sign and your 1st House of Personality today, gracing you with an extra dose of charm. Don’t accept less for yourself now; make the extra effort to look good so you feel good, too. Nevertheless, don’t be frivolous with your energy; spending time with friends is healing for your soul as long as you don’t overdo the fun.

The Daily Humorscope for 3/27

The Daily Humorscope

March 27, 2011

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Good day to review what you know about hamsters. I think that’s all I should really say, except possibly that it’s often considered impolite to see how much food you can pack into your cheeks, when dining out.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
High winds today. Good day to try out your new cement kite!
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
People will stare at you today. Unknown to you, you are starting to look more and more like a large frog. A career in basketball may be in your future.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Bad day to call someone a “whiney gen-x cybercowboy.” Tomorrow’s better, for that one.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Soon, through no fault of your own, you will catch someone underlining words in a library book. It’s just one of those signs, you know? Before the Apocalypse.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Beware of Chihuahuas today. Actually, any day is a good day to beware of Chihuahuas. They’re not intrinsically evil like minivans, but they’re definitely a step in the wrong direction.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
While attending a sance “just for fun”, you will be possessed by the spirit of Rasputin. Surprisingly, it will be a good career move.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Through a casual remark in an elevator, you will realize that both you and your fellow passenger have seen John Cleese’s informational film called How To Irritate People. By the time you reach the 10th floor, you will both be severely vexed with one another.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Good time to consider capitalising on the wave of 70’s nostalgia that is sweeping the land. Why not try making shag carpeting? At least you should sit around in your beanbag chairs and discuss it.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Uh oh. The cows have come home, and the fat lady is about to sing. Better come up with some new excuses, quick! You can do that while you’re coping with the unpleasant result of the cows coming home.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Excellent day to go into politics. Make up a new government position, such as “Regional Manager, Dept. of The Posterior”, and put up hundreds of posters of yourself. With any luck, it will be years before anyone notices that there is actually no such job.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You will have another nasty insect bite episode, I’m afraid. In this case, though, you will at least know what bit you. Hard to miss something that size.

Life Is A Barrel Of Monkeys

Sorry I have just been up about an hour or so. I couldn’t sleep last night so I took a couple of sleeping pills. And look the last time I looked at the clock it was 3:30 a.m., now it is 1:34 p.m. I won’t sleep again for the next week, lol! I hope the rest of you have been enjoying the day for me.

I have to throw this in real quick. I am sure you all have heard me talk about my little Kiki. She is the mouthiest, little fart you have ever heard until I am sleeping. After this last back surgery, the lower part of my back is fused. It feels like a ton of concrete I am carrying around. When I lay down in a soft bed, it feels like that concrete is about to crack. So I have this gorgeous antique bed that I can’t sleep in. Kiki has the biggest doggie bed in the country. She lays at the end of it and looks down on me while I sleep in the floor. She sits perfectly still and doesn’t make a peep. If she thinks I am asleep she doesn’t bark. But the minute I wake up all hell breaks loose. There is a standing joke, as long as the burglars time it right and tip-toe around, they could carry the house off. Which probably isn’t a joke 😦 .

After I have woke up a little bit, I was reading the comments in the back. I would like to thank the individual that sent my horoscope for the day to me. It was very sweet and thoughtful of you. Not to mention, you couldn’t have picked a better day to do it. Most of the time I draw a Rune or a Tarot card everyday to see what kind of day I am going to have.  Considering I haven’t drawed that card today, I will go with yours. Thank you, again!

Anyway the longer I talk, the longer it takes you to get the dailies. So I will hush for now and drag out the books. Enjoy and have a great day!