Tag: AQUARIUS
the daily humorscope
Sunday, January 08, 2012
the daily humorscope
Saturday, January 07, 2012
Daily Cosmic Calendar for January 6th
It may seem that the upcoming Full Moon that will happen late on Sunday night is far into the future. Nonetheless, in astrology, the two days prior to a Full Moon represent a 48-hour time-period to prepare for the enlightening vibrations that come through to humanity from divine sources at the Full Moon. The two days after a Full Moon signify a distribution phase of the illuminating energies received. Therefore, a complete five-day process is really at work. Your job today is to stay in clear contact with friends and dear ones – gently guiding them upward and onward to the heights of inspiration that can occur a couple of evenings from now. While a supportive, 60-degree link from Vesta to Pluto (8:24PM PST) and a flowing trine from the Moon in Gemini to Venus in Aquarius (8:41PM PST) can give you a wealth of happy feelings, spurring you to excel in business ventures, and creative and artistic media, the Moon also squares Mars (8:45PM PST) while Venus in Aquarius and Mars in Virgo form an off-kilter, 150-degree link (9:28PM PST). Of these two aspects, the Venus-Mars 150-degree connection is the one to watch and possibly tweak in your favor. The tendency is for love bonds to possibly go awry due to a miscommunication. However, focus and attentiveness on your part may save the day. The bottom line is that you want to keep your distance from battles of the will and foolish arguments that lead to cul-de-sacs of the mind and heart.
the daily humorscope
Thursday, January 05, 2012
the daily humorscope
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
The Sexiest Zodiac Signs
The Sexiest Zodiac Signs
- Mel, selected from DivineCaroline
I’ve always had great luck with Capricorns. Tauruses? Yawn. Geminis? Maybe, if you like all that talking. Leos? Self-absorbed drama queens. My romantic history is a constellation of personalities and capabilities and experiences, but there’s obviously something about my Virgo sensibilities that jibes with the patience that the average Capricorn bestows upon the act of tossing a girl’s salad. Or did you think I was talking about something else? We’re not interested in love matches here, people. This is all about that other kind of chemistry and which signs of the Zodiac are guaranteed to be a good time and which might be a great time.
Aries: The Minute Man
This fire sign is known for being a pretty straight shooter. Aries will have no compunction at all about sharing his or her raunchiest ideas about what to do in the sack. The problem with straight shooters, though, is that they always like to get right to the point. So count on an Aries to take charge and get you where you want to go—in a hurry.
Taurus: The Romancer
Where Aries is all lusty impulse, Taurus takes his or her time. Plan on being wined and dined, perhaps to the point of frustration. And once the Taurus has decided you’re the one for the job, prepare yourself for plenty of foreplay. If romance is your thing, Taurus is your sign.
Gemini: The Talker
The Gemini will bring all his or her intellect to bear upon getting bare. If you have simpler, quieter tastes, you might be a little shocked by Gemini’s saucy, seductive monologues. But if phone sex and dirty talking gets your motor humming, a Gemini is what you’re looking for. But be prepared to not get a word in edgewise.
Cancer: The Love Maker
Cancers are highly emotional signs, which means that sex is not merely a mechanical physical undertaking; rather it is expected to be a poetic act of beauty and love and all that good stuff. If you’re going to get naked with a Cancer, prepare yourself for an intense ride. And perhaps some post-coital crying.
Leo: The Narcissist
The passionate and adventurous nature of the Leo cannot be surpassed. There is no end to the imaginative ways a Leo will come up with for you to pleasure him or her. Those cats are born sexual dominants who ooze lusty confidence, and they’re unapologetic about it. While your romp with the lion will be memorable, for sure, best remember your satisfaction will be a secondary matter.
Virgo: The Closet Nympho
You might be surprised to learn that shy, demurring Virgo would ever be ready to rock without than fistfuls of condoms and spanking clean bed sheets. The reserved demeanor of the earthy virgins doesn’t hint at their inner lustiness. Once your Virgo knows and trusts you, watch out. You won’t get a moment’s peace.
Libra: The Connoisseur
The Libra is an artiste when it comes to knocking boots. They seek out a perfect harmony with their partner, luxuriating in every detail, and they go big on romantic accoutrements such as lingerie, massage oil, and soft music. You know, so it’s just like a bad porno—perhaps it even includes a fortuitously timed visit from the pizza guy.
Scorpio: The Leg-Humper
Fiery, licentious Scropio is the horn dog of the zodiac. While their sexual prowess and magnetism can hardly be ignored, getting in bed with a scorpion can have its sting. While you will probably get the ride of your life, Scorpio’s love ’em and leave ’em approach to sex could leave less lusty signs cold.
Sagittarius: The Don Juan (or Juanita)
A master of the art of seduction, a Sagittarius is all about the hunt. They hone their powers of seduction, pouncing upon their objects of desire only after rendering them utterly helpless in the face of their sexual deftness.
Capricorn: The Slow Boat
Capricorn can come across as a lumbering kind of lover. Slow to make the first move, patient to the point of impertinence once the ball does get rolling, Caps may not wow with skill and energy in the sack, but they will steadily, diligently apply themselves to the all-you-can-eat buffet of their lover. Be patient with a Capricorn, and you will be well rewarded.
If you’re someone who is put off by the idea of a velvet box full of scintillating, slippery, and battery-operated accoutrements under your lover’s bed, it’s best you steer clear of Aquarius. Always ready to experiment with any number of the paths to pleasing themselves and their partners, the Aquarian will bring more to the party than some signs can take.
Pisces: Old Faithful
Much like Cancer, Pisces will value the emotional connectivity of sex over the physical one. Passion, love, attention, patience—these will all come into play with your Pisces lover. But you’ll likely have to do most of the work. The fish are notoriously lazy lays, preferring to kick back and bask in the attentions of their beloved. Might want to take a cue from Aquarius and bring some party favors to keep things interesting.
the daily humorscope
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
the daily humorscope
Monday, January 02, 2012
the daily humorscope
Sunday, January 01, 2012
the daily humorscope
Saturday, December 31, 2011
the daily humorscope
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Daily Cosmic Calendar for December 28th
Mercury forming a supportive, 60-degree tie to Pallas (3:29AM PST) keeps those exalted, innovative Pallas vibes going full blast in the early hours. You can be a problem-solver extraordinaire. However, Mercury moves on to make a more abrasive, 135-degree tie to giant Jupiter (5:29AM PST). This challenging alignment – along with a Sun-Juno 45-degree clash (4:13AM PST) and Moon-Saturn parallel (6:18AM PST) – indicates that some psychic thunderstorms concerning communications, travel plans and educational interests may interfere with your forward progress this morning. Later on, inspirations abound during the monthly Moon-Neptune union in Aquarius (1:32PM PST). Any lunar conjunction with far-out Neptune can result in your receiving mind-blowing realizations that can literally change your consciousness forever. On the other hand, this Moon-Neptune merger also begins a void lunar uncertainty zone that lasts until 3:46PM PST when the Moon dives into the mysterious waters of Pisces. Once the alchemical shift of the Moon from air to water takes place, the Moon makes its monthly communion with healing-maestro Chiron (7:06PM PST) just a few hours before the Moon joins forces with soul-sister Vesta (10:48PM PST) and the Sun makes its annual union with underworld-ruling Pluto in Capricorn (11:44PM PST). This is quite an evening – with spiritual, investment and willpower vibrations at white-hot intensity. The lunar links to Chiron and Vesta are much more tender and sensitive than the single-minded, intense Sun-Pluto contact. Stay on alert throughout the night and into early Thursday to make sure loved ones are protected and that your words and deeds are of the highest caliber.
the daily humorscope
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Daily Cosmic Calendar for December 27th
Very little stands in your way of success right now. A Venus-Ceres 45-degree skirmish (6:49AM PST) and Moon-Neptune parallel (9:29AM PST) can bring in some consternation temporarily regarding your productivity in arts, crafts, hobbies and your fields of expertise, but these two alignments are not the primary sky patterns during this 24-hour time-period. The main event is the monthly Moon-Pallas union in Aquarius (12:13PM PST) that receives a gentle boost about an hour before-hand when the Moon forms a communication-enhancing and supportive, 60-degree alliance with Mercury (11:02AM PST). The Moon with Pallas is definitely a wonderful opportunity to energize your skills as a problem-solver, strategist and researcher. Pallas is also associated with engineering, city planning, software programming, needlepoint, weaving, the genetic code, DNA and the immune system. Learn more about herbs and health foods that help you build a strong defense against fatigue and illness. Mercury approaches a 60-degree rapport with Pallas overnight and this keeps the high-level, ingenious Pallas themes very prominent in the psychic atmosphere.
the daily humorscopes for tuesday, december 27th
the daily humorscope
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Your Daily Horoscopes for Monday, Dec. 26th

You think that being more practical is a good idea today, but eventually you’re likely to give up and follow your dreams. It isn’t that you’re incapable of acting sensibly; it’s just your radical side comes out when the Moon enters unconventional Aquarius. Be careful; it’s not a smart time to burn bridges by alienating those who support you. Instead, find ways to speak your truth without starting a fight.

You may feel out of the loop today if others don’t notice your contribution. Thankfully, you’re patient enough to wait for the recognition you deserve, even if you do grow a bit frustrated in the process. However, losing your temper might be the best thing you can do now because it helps to clear the air. If you keep your annoyance to yourself, the tension could continue to grow. Just remember to express your feelings without blaming anyone else.

You’re quite focused on getting your chores done today, but you might have too much to do. You could reach a breaking point when you’re tempted to throw up your hands and walk away from your responsibilities. However, you won’t be able to escape from your commitments that easily. Instead of avoiding reality, demonstrate your persistence by sticking with your agenda. Checking a few things off your list is a good start toward alleviating the stress.

You are less likely to behave nicely just to get others to like you today. You are clear about your needs and are willing to take responsibility to achieve satisfaction. You typically might not be this assertive, but it feels natural now. Even if you’re confident that you’ll reach your goals, don’t be disrespectful of your friends and colleagues. Let the day unfold and wait until later to make the appropriate changes if things aren’t going your way.

You’re taking your work very seriously today and are committed to delivering on your promises. If repetitive tasks are on your plate, you’re ready to concentrate on them until they are done. But you’re as equally enthusiastic to jump into something totally new. Either way, it’s tempting to push the energy too far. A bit of sensible self-restraint is useful to maximize your progress no matter what projects are in front of you.

In an ideal world, you might want to schedule your day backwards by having fun first and then doing your chores later. It may be frustrating if you try to narrow your focus in the morning while the Moon is still visiting your 5th House of Fun and Games. But when she enters your 6th House of Employment this afternoon, you won’t likely be so eager to partake in any distracting activities. Grab the opportunity for enjoyment while you can and start your day with some playtime before heading off to work.

Personal or professional obligations may hold your attention during the morning, but later on you’re eager to shift gears so you can enjoy yourself. Scheming about your escape can be more fun than you expect, especially if you attack it as if it were a competitive game. Don’t rush ahead impulsively; wait until you feel the time is right before doing your disappearing act and following the plan you devised earlier in the day.

You might sense an unpleasant wave of energy way out on the horizon of your awareness, making it difficult to enjoy the day. Although intense emotions continue to build throughout the day, it’s not wise to push them away. Avoiding uncomfortable feelings isn’t smart because they’ll just gain strength if you do. Instead, express what’s in your heart, even if it isn’t what others want to hear. It’s healthier for them to learn your truth now than receive a watered-down version of it at some later time.

Although you may have to head back to work today or do chores that have piled up in your absence, the day should end on a positive note. Ironically, establishing sensible limits actually grants you additional freedom now. But, if you’re not attentive to setting healthy boundaries, you might have to take a defensive posture. Don’t delay the inevitable, even if it feels uncomfortable; clearly draw your line in the sand and prepare to hold your ground if you must.

The beginning of your day should go along smoothly enough, but someone may ask you to explain your values later. You could be resistant to talking about your beliefs because you’re still developing your position. It doesn’t feel right to climb out on a limb in order to defend an opinion that’s still unformed. Although you may have a good reason to stay quiet, your silence can be misinterpreted. Hiding is not the best strategy now, for it encourages others to misread your intentions.

The mood-setting Moon’s shift into your intellectual sign today is a reminder that your emotions are more important than you think. However, there’s nothing you need to change at this time. Just be thankful that you have an opportunity to experience your life to the fullest, even if you must engage in a passionate debate to defend your position. Sometimes your feelings can be quite confusing, but now you have something useful to learn from them.

You may be feeling stress that arises from your unrealistic desire to avoid your current responsibilities. Although you might dream of escaping to an exotic place, you could become upset when you realize that it’s impossible to take time off now. Don’t ignore your frustration or it can turn into anger and erupt again in a few days. Instead, find a way to slip away for a while, even if it’s only with an intriguing movie or a good book.
Daily Cosmic Calendar for Monday, Dec. 26th
This could be a slow day getting started business-wise – if you are working. The reason is that Mercury makes a frictional, 45-degree tie to Saturn (5:03AM PST) just before the Moon in Capricorn squares Saturn in Libra (5:37AM PST). Therefore, two challenging aspects counter the urge to make a forward dash into the sunlight. In addition, the Moon-Saturn square starts a void lunar twilight zone that lasts until 9:15AM PST when the Moon enters service-oriented Aquarius. It’s okay to finish old business during the void time-period, but once the Moon is in Aquarius, put more emphasis on volunteer efforts, charity drives and joining international movements that tug at your heart-strings. Group projects, team sports and community activities are prime areas for your involvement between now and Wednesday morning. Check out the latest high-tech gizmos, apps and software programs as the Moon makes a supportive, 60-degree rapport with Uranus (10:35AM PST). Consider having an impromptu party or gathering at your place tonight – coinciding with the monthly Moon-Venus union in Aquarius (11:34PM PST). Express your creativity in the fine and graphic arts for a change of pace. If you are in the mood for romance, then set sail for exotic ports of call with a like-minded partner
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