A Little Humor for Your Day: Phrases You Wish You Could Say At Work

Phrases You Wish You Could Say At Work


  1. If you got payed a nickel for every stupid idea you had, you’d be a millionare.
  2. Just when I thought you couldn’t say anything dumber, you keep talking!
  3. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  4. It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
  5. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
  6. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  7. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be…?
  8. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  9. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
  10. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
  11. Chaos, panic, and disorder: my work here is done.
  12. Do I look like a people person?
  13. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  14. How about never? Is never good for you?
  15. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

 

–Turok’s Cabana

Daily Planet Tracker for April 7: Moon in Taurus

The Moon in Taurus: Practical, Devoted, and Steady

Apr 6, 2019 – Apr 8, 2019

 

Before we go into the Moon in Taurus, let’s just talk about the Moon for a moment. The Moon is the fastest moving heavenly body in the sky. Because it moves so quickly, the Moon spends a little over 2 days in each zodiac sign every month!

It doesn’t matter where your Moon sign is because for a couple of days a month we all feel the influence of a Taurus Moon. When the Moon is in Taurus, there’s a dedication to getting what we want, as Taurus is oriented toward filling our needs directly. If there have been things you’ve longed for, there’s no better time to make them happen than a Taurus Moon.

Taurus is uncomplicated, and just want its senses satiated. A Taurus Moon gives us the desire for a full belly, a feeling of security, to know that there’s money in the bank. Maybe some of these things are things that we always want, but while the Moon is in Taurus, we’re more drawn toward getting them. These are the things that will make us feel good in the moment.

You might be feeling a desire for more comfort and security now. Indulge in the sheer pleasure of being here, adored by gravity, Earth’s invisible embrace. Enjoy your weight. Roll in a newly mowed lawn. Celebrate your voice: shout, sing, or whisper in somebody’s ear. Then drink a soothing tea for the thyroid and throat. Yes, Taurus is goal-oriented, but it’s also concerned with achieving a harmonious balance.

Be careful — the Taurus Moon makes it easy to feel stubborn. But in a changing world, such strength can sometimes defeat itself. Don’t try to move immovable objects.

New Moon in Taurus

The New Moon in Taurus happens once a year in mid-spring when the Sun is in the sign of Taurus. New Moons are always about beginnings, a time when things take root, and a Taurus New Moon is especially focused on doing things that are real. It’s about making something happen that has substance to it. It’s a great time to go out into the garden to plant seeds, or anything else that has a tangible element to it.

Full Moon in Taurus

The Full Moon in Taurus occurs when the Sun is in Scorpio, around mid-autumn. The Sun in Scorpio is intricate, while the Moon in Taurus is simplistic. This creates a great counterbalance in energy, taking out the complicated and mysteries energies that are at play during this time. A Taurus Full Moon is a great reminder that by paying attention to our senses — what we can touch, taste, smell, and feel — we can ground ourselves and make life simple again.

 

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Your Daily Rune & Witches Rune for April 7th

The Daily Rune for Today

Ehwaz

 

“The mind will trust the body, the body will trust the mind.”

Ehwaz – “eh-was” – Literally: “Horse” – Esoteric: Trust

Rune of harmonious teamwork and trust. Rune of pairs of entities working together for a common goal.

Psi: trust between individual entities, sexuality

Energy: trust, cooperation, the Fetch

Mundane: animals, teamwork, friendship

Divinations: Harmony, teamwork, trust, marriage, loyalty, a friend; or duplication, disharmony, mistrust, betrayal, nightmares, indecision, an enemy.

Governs:

Activating the energies of your inner Fetch
Ability to detect deceit and uncover subtle queues
Facilitates swiftness in every regard
Establishing trust and bonds with animals (ie. horse whisperers)

 

Your Daily Witches Rune for Today

The Blank Rune

Meaning: This is a rune of difficulty and negative influences will rule your life for a time, but as all difficulties are a learning experience it will lead to improved personal perspective and progress on your life’s path. Always consult the surrounding runes with this stone. If it lies with a positive stone, it indicates that the pain of this experience will lead to a beneficial change in circumstances.

Your Daily Tarot Cards for Sunday, April 7th

Your Daily Tarot Card for Today

Strength

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keywords: inner strength, vision, self control!

Astrological Correspondence: Leo

The Strength card, depicting a gracious queen-like figure and a wild lion, shows that real strength has to be combined with graciousness and gentleness to become a force. It symbolizes inner strength, determination to overcome obstacles, self-knowledge and self-discipline, as only when we know ourselves and act in a responsible manner will we be able to deal with challenging situations and overcome difficulties successfully. Yet this card not only represents physical strength; moral and emotional strength are also included in the meaning. Patience, compassion, dealing with frustration, accepting of others, and tolerating imperfection (in oneself and in others) all leads to being a complete person. The negative qualities of Strength include misuse of power, aggressiveness, and intolerance.

 

 

Your Daily Tarot Love Card for Today

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Lovers

Someone is withholding affection. You know it. You see it because it is visible. And, of course, you feel it because it creates tension when you are together. Today, you need to communicate. Ask questions and get answers. You could find a fear of rejection is the culprit. Now is the time to clear the air and allow a vulnerable person to go forward in the future rather than stay in the past.

 

 

Your Daily Tarot Power Card for Today

 

The Tower

There is an unstable foundation that threatens to destroy everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve. When this card shows up in a relationship reading, it means you have to go back to basics to slowly build trust and stability before taking things to the next level. When related to finances, this means you should hedge your bets by making sure you’re aware of other opportunities out there. Operate under a sense of extreme caution to avoid nasty surprises.

 

Your Past Lives Tarot Card for Today

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Chariot

Choosing the Egyptian ruler card represents the presence of one of the pharaohs in your life. The Egyptian pharaohs dedicated their lives to reincarnating from the dead into a living and worthy vessel. Their presence ties you directly to the mystical, because the Egyptians believed that reality was just a reflection of a metaphysical journey through the paradise of the departed. The pharaoh is the living bridge between the two worlds and when one is with you, you are blessed to bring heaven to Earth.

Get A Jump on Tomorrow, Your Horoscopes for Monday, April 8

Moon Alert

Caution: Avoid shopping or big decisions from 4 AM to 5:30 PM EDT today (1 AM to 2:30 PM PDT). After that, the Moon moves from Taurus into Gemini.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Please note the restrictions of the Moon Alert (see above) today because your focus is on financial matters. A Moon Alert is a poor time for financial decisions or for spending money on anything other than food, gas and entertainment. Be mindful of this.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Today the Moon is in your sign for a good part of the day, and while this is happening, there is a Moon Alert taking place. This is why you might feel loosey-goosey and indecisive. However, it’s an excellent time to socialize and be creative.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Don’t go off half-cocked today, which might be easy to do because fiery Mars is in your sign, revving your engines and stirring you to be proactive and Johnny on the spot! Meanwhile, most of this day is a Moon Alert, which is a bad time to make important decisions or spend money. Stay chill.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Today you might be focused on dealing with friends or groups; furthermore, you might be involved in setting goals. Do be aware that most of this day is a Moon Alert (see above), which means it’s a poor time to make decisions. But it’s a great time to socialize!

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

During today’s Moon Alert (see above) do not volunteer for anything or agree to anything important when talking to parents and bosses. Keep your head down and your powder dry. Write down your creative ideas and run them up the flagpole tomorrow.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

It’s Monday. Mars is high in your chart arousing your ambition. Today you are focused on shared property, taxes and debt. However, most of this day is a Moon Alert, which means you should avoid important decisions in financial matters. Heads up!

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Today you need to be aware of the restrictions of the Moon Alert (see above) and confine your spending to gas, food and entertaining diversions. Postpone important decisions and major purchases until tomorrow or until after the Moon Alert is over.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Your conversations with friends and partners might be vague and hard to pin down because of the Moon Alert today. Don’t agree to anything important during that time and do not volunteer for anything or make an appointment. Keep things light.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Don’t expect top productivity at work today because the Moon Alert will erode your efficiency and introduce delays and a general sense of vagueness and indecisiveness. However, during a Moon Alert our minds can be highly creative!

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

This can be a very creative day for you, especially if you work in the arts, the entertainment world or the hospitality industry. You will also be successful if you work with children because it’s easy for you to think outside of the box. Restrict spending to food, gas and entertainment.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

This is the perfect day to play hooky from work and stay at home because most of today is a Moon Alert, which means things are loosey-goosey. The one thing that is improved during a Moon Alert is one’s creative talents. Restrict your spending to food, gas and entertaining diversions.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

This is a loosey-goosey day due to the Moon Alert. Do not make important decisions during this time. Do not spend money on anything other than food, gas or entertainment. Once the Moon Alert is over – it’s all systems go. Be smart.

If Your Birthday Is Today

Actress Robin Wright (1966) shares your birthday today. You are idealistic, yet realistic. You think carefully before making decisions. This year you have responsibilities to family as well as yourself because service to others is important. Therefore, take care of yourself so that you are a strong resource. Nurture relationships you value. Tap into your personal creativity and hobbies. Make your home pleasing to return to.

 

–GeorgiaNichols

Born on April 7th, Happy Birthday, Aries!

Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday, Aries!

IF YOUR BIRTHDAY IS APRIL 7, you make life appealing. You yearn to do new things, to see new faces and explore new territory. In fact, Aries, you are careless sometimes. You are likely to lose things.

Before you can settle down with what you have, you are on the next adventure. Like other Arians, the April 7 birthday personality like to be in control of whatever they are doing. You are capable of great things with your enthusiastic attitude.

Alternatively, your weakness could be that you worry too much. Aries may start to do things that just do not add up. Indecision and self-doubt shows when you are irritable or tense.

If today April 7 is your birthdate, you should learn to express yourself in a positive way. Supposedly, it is involuntary but nevertheless, you could hurt someone’s feelings and that will make you feel bad as well.

In terms of emotional growth, the 7th April birthday horoscope predicts that you are on the right path. Arians born on this day have dynamic birthdate personality traits that draws people to you.

You may have a strong desire to resolve problems before they get lost in everyday routines. As life goes on, you could very well look up one day and it be too late to save a friendship or relationship. So you should take care of things as they happen. You like to laugh and have a good time. People born  on this Aries birthday are generally optimistic and confident people.

When it comes to romance, the 7 April zodiac birthday people can be idealistic but very generous lovers. Your reputation for giving precedes you. Aries, you have admirers! Where there are admirers, you will have those who are jealous so expect it. Actually, you have jealous tendencies as well.

The April 7th birthdate meanings show that sometimes you can be too suspicious and that imagination of yours can run wild with unrealistic thoughts. You can take things to heart when you should not be so sensitive.

Communication is the key here, Aries to an open and honest relationship. Your concern to make things right scores you major brownie points with your lover. If you are to avoid disappointments, those born on this day should understand and accept a certain degree of blame.

The 7 April birthday personality can expect to be wealthy. You will likely search for those opportunities that provides an exceptional pay plan and benefit package. Working your way to the top will give you a sense of pride that is unmatched by any other feeling.

You who are born on this day are predestined for success. Whatever your career of choice is, you will receive rewards for your time, dedication and accomplishments. You can be on top of the world, if you choose to be. Stay close to those who have your best interest at heart.

The 7th April birthday astrology analysis also predicts that those born on this day are sensible when it comes to taking care of themselves. Your active lifestyle, however, has a tendency to put your body through stressful situations but you keep on ticking. If you were to eat balanced meals and exercise on a regular basis, you would be in excellent shape.

Sometimes, Aries, you take it for granted. Nope, nothing lasts forever so practice preventive measures like staying away from hot and spicy foods and those foods that are rich in fat. Getting a check-up would not hurt either. Some form of stress is normal but stay clear of those negative situations to avoid anxiety’s consequences.

You who are born on this day, April 7 you make people jealous with your explorations and your ever so fabulous weekend adventure stories. Your birth date analysis shows that you like to be in control. Your exceptionally charming and bubbly attitude maintains your social status.

 

You like to get to the core of a situation to solve a problem. Sometimes, Aries, you let things bother you and your reactions are likely erratic.

This has an adverse affect on your otherwise healthy body. Stay motivated and remember you are Aries the Ram!

This Day That Year – April 7th In History:

1795 – The metre system, as a form of measuring, is adopted by France

1888 – “Yellow Face” is Sherlock Holmes’ first mystery

1891 – The state of Nebraska recognizes the 8-hour workday

1951 – After 51 years, the state of Oklahoma brings prohibition to an end

1978 – A Guttenberg bible sold in NYC for a whopping $2mil

Celebrities Born On 7 April:

Bill Bellamy, Jackie Chan, Tony Dorsett, David Frost, Billie Holiday, Alexis Jordan, David Otunga, Wayne Rogers, Choi Siwon

Birth Sign:

You Fall Under Star Sign Aries

Corresponding Rashi (Vedic Moon Sign): Mesha Rashi

Corresponding Chinese Zodiac Sign: Dragon

Birthdate Planet:

Your ruling planet is Mars that symbolizes the balance between the material and spiritual aspects of our personality.

Birth Date Symbols:

The Ram Is The Symbol For The Aries Zodiac Sign

Birthday Tarot Card:

Your Birthdate Tarot Card is The Chariot. This card symbolizes that success is within your reach provided you make the required effort.

Birth Day Love Compatibility:

You are most compatible with people born under Sun Sign Leo: This is love match full of passion, charisma and love.

You are not compatible with people born under Sun Sign CapricornThis love relationship has good chances of failure.

Birthdate Numerology:

Your Favorable numbers are:

Number 2 – This number signifies tact, diplomacy, caution and emotions.

Number 7 – This number symbolizes a thinker, spiritual awakening and someone who thinks ahead of his time

Lucky Colors For April 7th Birthday:

Scarlet: This is the color of passion, strength, will power and intensity.

Sea Blue: This is a colour that represents freedom, openness, tranquility and wisdom.

Lucky Days For 7 April Birthdate:

Monday: The day ruled by the Moon and symbolizes your telepathy, feelings and emotions.

Tuesday: This day ruled by the Mars is a day of activity, work and progress.

Birth Stone:

Your gemstone is Diamond that helps improve your body metabolism and makes you more courageous.

Ideal Zodiac Birthday Gift For People Born On The 7th Of April:

A sexy pair of cowboy boots for the Aries man and a pair of delicate diamond earrings for the woman.

 

–SunSigns.org

Your Daily Horoscopes for Sunday, April 7th

Moon Alert

We have the “all clear” today to shop and do business. The Moon is in Taurus.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

This is an excellent day for research, especially something to do with your earnings or perhaps a possession that you own. You might choose to work alone or behind the scenes but you will definitely want practical results for your efforts. You will be thrifty and wise.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Today the Moon is in your sign dancing with stern Saturn, which is a strong hit of realism for you. You will be concerned with how things are and how they work. Do not hesitate to take the advice of someone else who has more experience. Why not?

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Discussions with bosses and parents will be practical today and because of this, theses talks will yield results. In their eyes, you appear sensible, practical and reliable. (Do nothing to dissuade them of this notion.) This is a good day to ask for permission or approval from any authority figure.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

This is a fabulous day to study because you have concentration, focus, and the patience necessary to crack those books. If there’s something you want to learn, get down to it. You might encounter someone older, more experienced or a guru-like figure or a teacher. Learn whatever you can.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

This will be a productive day if you deal with red-tape details regarding wills, inheritances, taxes, debt and anything to do with shared property. You’re in the right frame of mind to do this sort of thing, which on other days, you might avoid like the plague. Get busy!

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You are in a relatively serious frame of mind today, which is why you’re up for practical discussions with partners and close friends. Now is the time to address things like the division of labour. Who takes out the garbage? Or perhaps you want to discuss how to share expenses?

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

You will be productive today because not only are you in the mood to work, you’re also in the mood to be orderly and practical. Whatever you do, you will do with care and precision, and you won’t avoid routine tasks or overlook details. You’re up for it!

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

All accomplishments requires practice and honing one’s technique whether you are training for physical athletics, playing arpeggios on the piano or blue scales on a guitar. This is the perfect day to perfect your technique and do what is necessary to improve your skills.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

This is perfect day to tackle home repairs and fix what needs to be done. Likewise, family discussions will be serious and oriented to practical matters either regarding your physical living space or the dynamics of your family.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

This is a good day for serious thinking and important concerns. You’re ready to deal with practical matters because it’s easy for you to keep your mind at work. Use this time to get better organized and to clarify issues with others.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You will be financially reserved and cautious today because you don’t want to waste your money. If shopping, you will focus on buying long-lasting, practical items. This is a good day to seek out financial advice from someone older or more experienced.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

This is a great day to do research because you want practical results for your efforts. You’ll be careful in whatever you do and you won’t give up looking for answers and solutions. Your eye is sharp for those little pieces that stand out from the whole.

If Your Birthday Is Today

Actor Russell Crowe (1964) shares your birthday today. You are warmhearted, easy-going and sociable. This is why people find it easy to get along with you. This is a year of change, new opportunities and lots of fast action! Expect to encounter stimulating situations! Grab opportunities to travel and expand your world. Embrace change and explore new opportunities. Let your personal freedom be one of your goals this year.

 

–GeorgiaNicols

Your Love Horoscopes for the Week of April 7th

Your Love Horoscopes for the Week of April 7th

Sarah Bartlett, Astrologer

From The Astrology Room

 

With Jupiter turning retrograde in Sagittarius this week, some of our more adventurous plans or love affairs may be put on the back-burner. We may have to rethink, renegotiate or simply be patient and wait for this reflective, philosophical energy to pass.

 

In fact it will mean that in a few weeks time, you will be able to change any romantic course of events in a new, and brighter light. With Venus joining Mercury in Pisces, it will however, be easier to keep your secrets safe – but only with yourself.

 

ARIES

We admire, love and nurture our friends, lovers or partners. Often, we import these kind of people into our lives because we believe these qualities to be lacking in ourselves. For example, at the moment you can’t get enough of romantic admirers. However, this week, if you look carefully, you will see the romantic lover and the impulsive friend are one and the same. In fact they are both you.

 

TAURUS

This week, if you could have just one beautiful flash forward of how things will be, or just one word from someone, you’d be content forever. So right now, nurture your own desires and start to take responsibility for the choices you have made, whether good or bad. Let go of the past, don’t look back, and then you can start to walk free from regrets.

 

 

GEMINI

Thanks to Mars in your own sign, you now have the confidence to speak your mind, and to ask for what you truly need. This is the chance to think positively about your own self, take love seriously and pull out the stops to achieve your heart’s desire. ‘Enlightenment’ in its purest essence, is the art of seeing into the nature of one’s own being. You are about to see through the window to your own soul’s desire.

 

 

CANCER

There’s a distinct feeling of aloof detachment around you at the moment. Recently, you’ve been fearful of rejection and had to play the ‘free spirited, careless little old me’ game. Luckily, with a rational approach to your moods and a whimsical approach to love and life, you begin to see that someone special is actually in agreement with you.

 

LEO

Whether you want to make it clear that you fancy someone, or just to clear the air with the one you love, it’s time to do the very thing that you aren’t that keen on doing: speaking up. So welcome and embrace the unpredictable. Know that being honest won’t send someone away. In fact, they are there for you, so trust in their integrity.

 

VIRGO

You’re in the middle of making a difficult decision. It’s hardly surprising you’ll find it harder than usual this week with both Mercury and Venus in your opposite sign of Pisces. In fact, you’re in the mood to get away for a while to get some ‘space.’ It’s hard to commit yourself to something which a few months ago might have been easy. The planets are encouraging you to see love from a new angle. Time to reflect on it a little.

 

 

LIBRA

With the sun in your opposite sign of Aries, there’s a renewed sense of being true yourself. At last the light breaks through. Because, in a way, you know if you aren’t true to yourself, then how can you be true to anyone else? So make it clear who you are and what you want, and do so with all your heart.

 

 

SCORPIO

So why are you letting someone manipulate you or get away with thinking they’re right? I’m not saying a partner or lover is emphatically wrong and you’re right. I’m not saying ‘rebel’, but I am saying stand up and fight for your cause. Please look at what you’re giving up to keep the peace. It’s time to stand up for you.

 

SAGITTARIUS

Committed love is important to you, but with your ruler turning retrograde in your own sign this week, maybe you need to take a step back rather than forward? With hand on heart and a sudden flurry of romantic indulgence, you realise that your independence is sacred too. Soon, you will know the way forward for real, mutual understanding if attached, and if single, the chance to honour your true needs.

 

CAPRICORN

New ideas and interesting romance are enticing. But please think carefully before replacing the devil you know for a newer model. Let your partner or current lover enjoy a little battle of wills, and the mental arrows flying between you will be tipped not only with love’s gold, but the power of a real connection.

 

AQUARIUS

You’re being slightly led astray by all your friends’ opinions. Could it be you’ve lost touch with your instincts? Relax. If you were sure enough to start something (whether a love affair, new beginning, an ending or parting of the ways) then be sure enough to get on with it. Then those who think they know best, will remember next time to think twice before opening their mouths.

 

 

PISCES

You’re deeply uncertain about whether to make a promise to someone or not. You feel you deserve only what you get, and as that’s not very much right now, it confirms that old opinion that you’re worth very little. But with Venus moving into your sign this week, you realise the only promise you need to make, is to please yourself first and that in fact, you’re worth a lot more than anyone can imagine. You deserve love just by virtue of being on this planet. Time to set the record straight.

 

 

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Your Daily Cosmic Calendar for Sunday, April 7th

COSMIC CALENDAR

Gaining traction with major projects is easier said than done right now. While Mercury and Saturn forge a favorable, pragmatism-boosting 60-degree alliance (2:19 a.m.) and Vesta adds an inspirational, 72-degree rapport with Saturn (7:38 p.m.), a quartet of possible celestial mischief-makers are also out on the prowl. Venus square to Ceres (8:48am) and contra-parallel to the sun (8:15 p.m.) along with Mercury making an off-kilter, 150-degree tie with Pallas (4:09 p.m.) while the red planet Mars struggles with Saturn via a tension-producing, 135-degree encounter (5:19 p.m.) are more likely to be obstacle creators rather than eliminators. Trying to make things happen your way is not advised while striving for serenity is a better use of your time.

[Note to readers: All times are calculated for Pacific Daylight Time. Be sure to adjust all times according to your own local time so the alignments noted above will be exact for your location.]

Copyright 2018 Mark Lerner & Great Bear Enterprises, Ltd.

Astrology.com

Moon Calendar for Sunday, April 7th

Rose & Butterfly Celtic Blessings

Moon Phase Calendar
Sunday – 7th April 2019

Current Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent

Moon is currently in the Sign of Taurus

Moon in Taurus:
Your safety depends on the need for stability, which is not easy to satisfy now. You have to learn to accept change as part of your life. The basic problem is finding your own self-respect in order to ensure that you do not mistakenly seek it in material things. When you accept yourself for who you are, it will become easier for you to find peace and tranquility in the outside world.

Organs influenced by Taurus Moon Sign:
Organs: Neck, larynx, throat, vocal cords, thyroid gland, tonsils, Adam’s apple.

These organs are now more sensitive so provide them with extra care.

Surgical operations:
Surgical operations are not recommended during the Waxing Moon.