Final Thought

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A Little Humor for Your Day – Dysfunctional Greeting Cards

Dysfunctional Greeting Cards

 

I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you’ve come into my life…
[Inside card] I’ve changed my mind.


I must admit, you brought religion into my life…
[Inside card] I never believed in Hell until I met you.


As the days go by, I think how lucky I am….
[Inside card] That you’re not here to ruin it for me.


Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go….
[Inside card] Will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably need it again.


Someday I hope to marry…
[Inside card] Someone other than you.


Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….
[Inside card] Almost lifelike!


When we were together, you said you’d die for me…
[Inside card] Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your promise.


We’ve been friends for a very long time…
[Inside card] What do you say we stop?


I’m so miserable without you…
[Inside card] It’s almost like you’re still here.


Congratulations on your new bundle of joy….
[Inside card] Did you ever find out who the father was?


You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket…
[Inside card] I’d miss you terribly and think of you often.


Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas


Looking back over the years we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder…
[Inside card] – What was I thinking?


Congratulations on your wedding day!…
[Inside card] Too bad no one likes your husband.


My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire… 
[Inside card]
 I noticed your cat. Sorry!


Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don’t fret about it…
[Inside card] She moved in with me.


How could two people as beautiful as you … 
[Inside card]
 Have such an ugly baby?


Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.
[Inside card] So we’re having you put to sleep.


Happy Birthday, Son.
[Inside card] We think you are old enough now to get a job and move out.

–Turok’s Cabana

Astronomy Picture of the Day – The Shape of the Southern Crab 

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Discover the cosmos! Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer.

2019 April 24

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The Shape of the Southern Crab 
Image Credit: NASAESASTScI

Explanation: The symmetric, multi-legged appearance of the Southern Crab Nebula is certainly distinctive. About 7,000 light-years distant toward the southern sky constellation Centaurus, its glowing nested hourglass shapes are produced by the remarkable symbiotic binary star system at its center. The nebula’s dramatic stellar duo consists of a hot white dwarf star and cool, pulsating red giant star shedding outer layers that fall onto the smaller, much hotter companion. Embedded in a disk of material, outbursts from the white dwarf cause an outflow of gas driven away both above and below the disk resulting in the bipolar hourglass shapes. The bright central shape is about half a light-year across. This new Hubble Space Telescope image celebrates the 29th anniversary of Hubble’s launch on April 24, 1990 on board the Space Shuttle Discovery.

Current Planet Tracker for April 24:

The Moon in Capricorn: Ambitious, Determined, Practical

Apr 23, 2019 – Apr 26, 2019

 

Before we talk about the Moon in Capricorn, let’s first learn a little bit about the Moon itself. The Moon is considered a planet in astrology, and it moves so quickly that it passes through each of the zodiac signs every month. While your Sun sign represents your basic nature, your Moon sign represents your inner emotions and moods. It’s important to know this piece of your astrological puzzle because it determines elements of your personality such as your fears, instincts, and romantic compatibility.

When the Moon is in Capricorn

When the Moon moves into the conservative sign of Capricorn, we tend to be a little bit more cautious, a little more serious, and a little more grounded than we normally are. Capricorn is a sign that means business! Instead of being concerned with short-term satisfaction, you’ll be more inclined to dig in and focus on your long-term goals.

During the Capricorn Moon you might find that you have an increased desire for professional success. The good news is that this industrious Earth sign also gives you a shot of determination to achieve whatever it is you’ve set your sights on. Capricorn is a natural born leader so you may end up volunteering to head up a big project at work. You might also feel the urge to start looking at the next stage of your career and map out how you’ll get there.

New Moon in Capricorn

New Moons are always a time of new beginnings. Our calendar New Year begins with the Sun in Capricorn so the Capricorn New Moon is like the beginning of a brand new personal year. We think of it this way because it’s a time when we set our intentions for what we want in the year ahead. These goals become like a mountain, and that mountain becomes the object we set out to climb. Luckily, Capricorn has a determination that equips us with the patience, discipline, and persistence to reach the top.

Full Moon in Capricorn

Every Full Moon has us working to finish what we started around the time of the New Moon, but when the Full Moon is in Capricorn it works even harder to finish what was started at the beginning of the lunar cycle. You’ll ask yourself what you obtained, what you have yet to achieve, and what you need to adjust to make things happen. A Capricorn Full Moon is all about success and never taking “no” for an answer. So, this is the time when you’ll get to the finish line because this Moon will help you tackle any obstacles you face along the way.

During this time the Moon in Capricorn faces the Sun in Cancer. Both signs are associated with security, yet they seek it in different ways. Capricorn is concerned with accomplishments and external status while Cancer wants us to tune into our feelings in search of comfort and safety. It’s not a matter of choosing to be hard or soft, sensitive or insensitive; this Full Moon is about learning how to be tough or tender depending on the circumstances. When the lesson is learned, we feel at home within ourselves and within the world around us.

If you were born with the Moon in Capricorn

Capricorn is ruled by taskmaster Saturn so it’s no surprise that those with a Capricorn Moon like to set the bar high. It’s isn’t just their patience and ambition that gets them far in life, it’s also that they also have a sense of responsibility to do well. They take pride in how reliable they are in their personal and professional lives.

Someone with their Moon in Capricorn can appear rather detached, but there is a very loyal and loving layer beneath the serious image they project to the world. They may not always use their words to express how they feel about another person, but their actions speak volumes about how much they care. While it does take Lunar Capricorns awhile to open up, it’s worth the wait as they’re one of the most stable and committed signs in the zodiac.

Capricorn has a reputation for being cool, calm, and collected. This is because those with this natal Moon sign don’t allow their emotions to rule them. They view tough situations through a pragmatic lens, and find a way to rationally approach each problem they face. This ability gives those with a Capricorn Moon the strength to push through any of life’s adversities.

Tarot.com is Part of Zappallas USA © 2019

Your Karmic Number of the Day for April 24 is Nine

Your Karmic Number of the Day

college-number-9

The 9 today represents your creativity. You don’t have to be an artist to be creative. You have a special way of inspiring people that come in contact with you and your work. Whatever you create plants seeds in the minds of others. It happens in ways that expands into arenas that you don’t know about. Be careful of what you create, as it is an extension of you. Everything you are passionate about has the capacity to be a tool for teaching others. Keep living with the freedom of doing what comes naturally to you. At some point others will follow your example.