I don’t know how many of you are familiar with WordPress and their Adwords or not, just in case you aren’t, let me tell you a little secret….they don’t pay unless they see a site is active or making posts, has participation and all that crap. So I decided why not make a post, a good post, one I am sure you will enjoy and WordPress as well.
Most of the time when someone comes out and rants on this site, it isn’t me. It is generally Eleanor or it use to be Mystie. But today, you have the honor of hearing my rant. For the last few days, I have come to reality. It has hit me in the face so hard, I probably won’t see daylight for the next week. I have come to the realization I have been an idiot for all these years, a very big idiot. I have took every dime I could muster to keep this site and the store going. I have asked for donations to help with the operations numerous times, I admit it and it was truly only when we needed it. I have told you over and over again I hate like hell asking you for a dime and Goddess knows I do.
In these last few days we have been off the internet, something very serious has come up and I found I don’t have a dime to my name due to my stupidity as far as using every bit of money I can get to keep this place open. My familiar has come down with something I don’t know what. I have treated him with everything I know to treat him with and he is dying. He should be at the vet today but I don’t have the money for an emergency visit. So he will have to wait till tomorrow, then perhaps I can find a vet that will see him and take us in as a charity case, ain’t that a laugh. Funny because I ain’t laughing. He has stopped eating and I am now having to force food down him. I know we were out in the yard and I turned around and he was gagging on something and then threw up. After that he slowly started getting worse and worse. I should have took him Friday but the tumor in my hip hurt so bad, I could hardly walk. I should have dragged myself out the door and took him then but I didn’t I thought it was only a cold and something I could treat. WRONG! He has tons of mucus flowing out his nose, can’t breath and as I said has stopped eating. I am going to fry some hamburgers for supper and see if he eats any of mine. If not, I know it is more serious than what I am thinking. But he is sick and I am kicking myself in the ass because of what I have tried to accomplish here and no one wants to help. I have been living in a delusional world and my poor pup is going to pay for my stupidity.
Boy, boy, boy, you talk about someone kicking theirself in the ass, I am. As I sit here and write this, I wonder what on earth was I ever thinking. Seriously, what was I thinking. I thought I had a family here, brothers and sisters since I have no one else on this planet to call upon when I need help. Maybe that is it, I have asked you once to often for help. Perhaps, I have worn that line very thin between us. Who knows? I don’t have time to ponder it, I will do that later. Right now I am concerned for my baby. If I do not get him to a vet, he will die I know that. If he does die, I will never sit foot on The WOTC again. Because with his death, I will realize one thing, life is too short to sit at a computer and bust your ass for nothing. I am beginning to figure that out with this tumor in my hip that keeps coming back. Maybe that or someone is trying to tell me something, get up off your ass and enjoy life while you have some life left in you.
I can’t stand by and let my Kade suffer, I can’t do that. It is unfair to him and it is killing me. I thought the other day, I would not be making another post on here till the first of the month but circumstance beyond my control have occurred. I won’t let him die. I am asking for your help to save him. This is no joke or some scam to get money out of you, I swear it to you. I would never play with my baby’s life like that. He is sick and he is going to die if I do not get him to a vet tomorrow, it would be better tonight but I can’t afford an emergency trip to the vet. I can only hope and pray that he hangs on to in the morning. If he doesn’t make it through the night, then I don’t know what I will do. Probably lose my mind because of what I have spent my money on, a hopeless dream that apparently only I had. I don’t want to think about what might happen because it makes me sick at my stomach but if he does pass I will never be back here again. I will sign the title over to Lord Myst and he can do with this site as he likes. Why? Because I don’t believe I could face another person on this site after pouring my heart out and crying while I write this about my poor Kade again.
I guess basically I would consider myself a fool, cause the only thing in this world that loves me unconditionally I let die and for what? If this pisses you off, I won’t apologize. I am angry myself because I have been such an idiot for all these years. You are people that I have called brother & sister, who I have told I love you and meant it with all my heart and then I turn to you with my poor baby dying and get no help. How would that make you feel?
I am doing everything I can think of for him and I am having to watch him just lay there motionless. He is sick and I can’t do a think in my power for him. Perhaps this is my wake up call from the Goddess. I don’t know but I know in the last couple of days, I have done a lot of thinking and this now with Kade has pushed me to my limits. He needs to go to the doctor. If anything over the past few years that I have done has meant anything, won’t you please help me get him to the vet?
I won’t beg you because I don’t beg when I am angry and scared. I am scared I am going to lose Kade. The poor little thing has enough problems without his mother being a stupid, ass-idiot and letting him get in this shape and not having the money to take him to the vet. I will ask you only once and this will be it, help me raise the money to get Kade to the vet, then I will leave you alone forever, I promise.
Lady of the Abyss
I believe most of you can understand why I am so upset, especially if you are a witch. You can stomp all over a witch, but I be damned if you touch our familiars or cause them harm. If that happens, we will fight the world to save them and that is exactly what I am doing now. Fighting the whole damn world to save my baby.
Thank you psykev88 and Peta Nagle for your help it is deeply appreciated.