A Little Humor for Your Day – Signs That You Might Be a Pagan

Signs That You May Be A Pagan

You Might be Pagan If …

  1. You know the term “fluffy bunny” has nothing to do with Easter.
  2. When you’re sworn in in court, you bring your own grimoire.
  3. You’ve been seen talking to cats. They talk back. You understand what they’re saying.
  4. When asked if you believe in God, you ask, “Which one?”
  5. You know what “widdershins” means. You apply it.
  6. You have an entire spice cabinet and you don’t cook. You know that laurel and bay leaves are the same thing.
  7. You have a frequent buyer card at the local antique bookstore. The proprietor of said bookstore picks out anything to do with the Celts and saves it for you.
  8. You think Mercedes Lackey should be a cultural icon.
  9. You know that there are exceptions to the laws of physics. You’ve caused them.
  10. The first thing your guests say is, “My, that’s a nice… altar… you have there.”
  11. On Halloween, you yell “Happy New Year!” at passers-by.
  12. You know that Christmas trees were originally pagan symbols. That’s why you bought one.
  13. You have friends who say they are elves. You believe them.
  14. You commit blasphemy in the plural.
  15. Upon dying, your first thought is, “Darn it, not AGAIN.”
  16. When you say “Mother Nature,” you don’t mean it in an anthropomorphic way.
  17. Gaia is NOT the lady on Captain Planet.
  18. You think The Mists of Avalon should be a religious text. You use it as such.
  19. In Religion 100, you were disappointed because they didn’t cover YOUR gods.
  20. You know that there is a right way and a wrong way to draw a pentacle. You can explain the difference.
  21. You’ve spent the last year and a half looking for a familiar.
  22. You talk to trees. They talk back.
  23. You know dragons and fae exist. You’ve seen them.
  24. Painting yourself blue, spiking your hair, and dancing naked around a bonfire sounds like large amounts of fun.
  25. You’ve seen “The Craft.” You know where they were making stuff up in “The Craft.” You have explained this to other people. You can do it better than they did it in “The Craft.” You know it’s a load of crap.
  26. You understand the symbolism behind a maypole.
  27. You’ve ever ended a phone call with “so mote it be.”
  28. Your children go around telling people that “the Goddess loves you.”
  29. You consider unicorns to be an endangered species.
  30. You commonly (and frequently accidentally) call the days of the week by alternate names: Sunday, Moonday, Tyr’s Day, Woden’s Day, Thurse Day, Frigga-Day, Satyr Day.
  31. You keep wondering what year this is, as that whole time-travel thing has you confused.
  32. The Futhark or the Theban alphabet (one of them) was the first alphabet you learned to write.
  33. When someone says they have a headache, you pull out White Willow Bark and a Crystal Healing Kit.
  34. You wonder why the Pope doesn’t have any concubines in his position of obvious power.
  35. Your candles outnumber your light bulbs.
  36. Your telephone, computer, radio, television, or other electronic device is in a spot where you can protect the rest of the house from it.
  37. Your telephone, computer, radio, television, or other electronic device is in a spot where you can protect them from the rest of the house.
  38. You feel inclined to dance around and/or jump over a campfire, and keep piling wood on it because it’s not a proper bonfire.
  39. You go on religious pilgrimages that end up in or pass through (with a stop) any of the following: Nepal, the Burning Man festival, the woods (nearby or not), Stonehenge, the Pyramids or any other place with a usable pyramid, Salem (Massachusetts), Eerie (Indiana), Avalon, Atlantis, anywhere where there are standing stones or burial mounds, any cave with drawings older than the nation it’s in, or pretty much any place wild.
  40. You really do wonder why the faeries keep hiding from you… after all, you’re one of them.
  41. You keep getting mistaken by religious zealots for someone Satanic, or you are directly called by these same zealots a “devil-worshipper” or some such.
  42. You like the movie “The Matrix” for its philosophical content more than its technological aspects.
  43. You dislike the Christian Bible because it’s “way too strict for fun-loving people.”
  44. You can accurately quote the Bible better than your Fundie neighbor, relate said scripture to parallel sources in other cultures and religions, and rebut it all from quotes of the Seth books or material you have channeled on your own.
  45. You constantly wonder why all the decent people in the world are in hiding.
  46. You never blow out your candles because you consider it an affront to the element of fire. Your kids have to snuff out their birthday cake.
  47. You don’t keep your hammer in the toolbox.
  48. The last time Jehovah Witnesses came to your house they ran away so fast they forgot to leave any pamphlets behind.
  49. Your friends talk about “WitchCraft” or “The Occult” among themselves and then aren’t surprised when you give them a referenced, coherent, well-formed explanation for whatever they were talking about at the time, from memory.
  50. People who you vaguely recognize ask you to fix deeply personal problems so they don’t have to do it themselves.
  51. You’re reading this page. You understand what it’s talking about.
  52. You have argued for the acceptance of Paganism as a mainstream religion.
  53. You honestly didn’t understand what Jerry Falwell was blaming you for, or why he has such a problem with your beliefs.
  54. You write your philosophy papers comparing the beliefs of Gerald Gardner and Aleister Crowley.
  55. When people ask “What’s Wicca?” you are genuninely shocked that they have never heard of it.
  56. Instead of singing “God Bless America”, you change it to “All the Gods Bless America”.
  57. You can point out exactly where Silver RavenWolf is inaccurate.
  58. Your home doubles as an evergreen wood or rain forest.
  59. You know that Ragnarok is not a heavy metal band.
  60. You keep referring to the Bible as Christian Mythology.
  61. You keep talking about how Jesus had the perfect coven of 13.
  62. You make arguments that you are not a Neo-Pagan but a Reconstructionist Pagan.
  63. You cheer when watching Marilyn Manson say we must “fight the Fascism of Christianity.”
  64. You say, “Yes I have found Christ. I added him to my Pantheon only last week.”
  65. You think that Julian is the greatest Roman Emperor.
  66. You call yourself a Vinelander.
  67. You have to explain that you can’t be a Satanist because Satanism is merely Xian heresy.
  68. You know the difference between a Heathen and a Neo-Pagan.
  69. You try to trace your ancestry back to Odin or Lugh.
  70. You learn Old Norse just to be able to read the Eddas and Sagas easier.
  71. You have multiple translations of the Eddas and Sagas on your book shelves. You’ve read all of them and wrote one of them. You can discuss the finer points of interpretation.
  72. You get tired of explaining the your Hammer necklace is not an upside-down Satanic cross.
  73. You argue that we are in cyclical time and not linear time.
  74. You know that the Swastika was not invented by Hitler.
  75. The phrase “It’s Hammer Time” brings up thoughts of Thor.
  76. When family members here you’re not Christian, they ask if you will still celebrate Christmas and Easter. You reply, “Those were my religious holidays first!”
  77. You refer to your religion as Celtic or Germanic.
  78. When a Christian asks if you’ve found the Lord, you ask “Which one Freyr or Jesus?”
  79. When asked if you’ve found Jesus, you reply: “I wasn’t aware he was lost.”
  80. You don’t want to go to Hel, since it’s such a dark, cold and dreary place. Valhalla is better.
  81. You’ve ever answered “Yes?” when someone said “Oh God” or “Oh Lord”.
  82. You don’t work in a New Age/Occult shop, but you know the inventory better than most of the employees.
  83. … and you know most of the employees
  84. … and they call you when they have questions.
  85. The last time a screaming, proselytizing, evangelist Christian fundie told you that you were going to hell, you just gave him a big hug and told him you hoped you could be roommates when that happened.
  86. Somebody asks you what time it is and you look at the sky, not your watch.
  87. Your entire neighborhood comes to you first when they have a cold, asking for a cup of your special tea.
  88. People look at the way you’re dressed and say “Nice Halloween costume!” but you’re wearing your everyday clothes and jewelry.
  89. You absentmindedly use DragonScript or Theban when taking notes, and you can speak the language it comes from as well. Fluently.
  90. Last time you heard a Pentacostal Christian speak in tongues you winced due to the horrible grammar and weird pronounciations.
  91. You understand what people say when they speak in tongues and have responded, arguing a point just made. (Extra points if you won the argument without using violence or shouting.)
  92. People have introduced you to their friends as a practicing witch. You’ve gotten used to it.
  93. That funny feeling in your stomach whenever you’d go to church as a kid-it wasn’t a breakfast gone bad. It was a sign.
  94. You see people reading various pagan literature and feel compelled to give commentary.
  95. You think there’s something suspiciously pagan about the way Mary Poppins comes and goes with the directions of the wind.
  96. You’re still looking for your ruby slippers.
  97. You think a South Park episode making fun of Wiccans would be really really funny.
  98. … and you’ve written scripts for such an episode, but none of your friends got the humor.
  99. You greatly enjoy explaining your religion to the Mormon missionaries who knock on your door. (Let’s face it, the confused looks on their faces were priceless.)
  100. Every Halloween, news stations and schools call you up asking you to talk about paganism.
  101. … and after talking to them about it, you make the mistake of giving out your email address, and find your inbox stuffed full of love spell requests.
  102. The local church kept asking you to bring in some baked goodies for their bake sale. You brought in cookies made using a pentacle cookie cutter. They stopped calling.
  103. You have close to a dozen (or more) quick, witty and/or cutting remarks at the ready whenever you might be asked if you’re a good witch or an evil one.
  104. After having spent 10 minutes out of doors you can do a week long weather prediction. It’ll be more accurate than what the weather forecasters on TV manages.
  105. If getting wet isn’t an option and you’ve forgotten your raincoat or umbrella, you walk between the raindrops. That is, if the rain won’t hold up a couple of minutes just for your sake.
  106. You’ve been asked by your co-workers to perform a binding spell on your boss, to allow them to slack off, and you’ve considered how to do it without doing harm.
  107. You spend all day trying to get kids not to run away from you whenever you talk about “Spells”.


–Turok’s Cabana

Astronomy Picture of the Day – Merging Galaxy Group 

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Discover the cosmos! Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer.

2019 March 25

Arp 194: Merging Galaxy Group 
Image Credit: NASAESAHubbleProcessing & LicenseJudy Schmidt


Explanation: Why are stars forming in the bridge between these colliding galaxies? Usually when galaxies crash, star formation is confined to galaxy disks or tidal tails. In Arp 194, though, there are bright knots of young stars right in a connecting bridge. Analyses of images and data including the featured image of Arp 194 from Hubble, as well as computer simulations of the interaction, indicate that the bottom galaxy passed right through the top galaxy within the past 100 million years. The result has left a stream of gas that is now falling toward the bottom galaxy. Astronomers hypothesizethat stars form in this bridge because of the recent fading of turbulence after the rapid collision. In about a billion years, the galaxies — including a smaller galaxy superposed on the upper galaxy (see it?) — will all merge into one larger galaxy.

Current Planet Tracker for Mar. 25th: Moon in Sagittarius, Mar. 24 – 27

The Moon in Sagittarius: Optimistic, Philosophical, Adventurous

Mar 24, 2019 – Mar 27, 2019


Before we jump straight into the Moon in Sagittarius, let’s first learn about the Moon itself. In Astrology, the Moon is considered a planet. It moves so quickly through the sky that it actually passes through each of the zodiac signs every month! While most people are familiar with their Sun sign, many people are unaware of what their Moon sign is. Why is knowing this aspect of this so important? The Moon is our astrological home, and it relates to our moods and our gut feelings.

When the Moon is in Sagittarius

No matter what your Moon sign is, we are all honorary Sagittarians when the Moon moves through that sign. The energy of Sagittarius is very expansive, free, and visionary. If you’re normally very pragmatic or cynical, you might find that you’re a little more optimistic than usual. Your mind will start considering all the possibilities of a situation rather than just focusing on the potential roadblocks. Your thoughts could end up in uncharted territory!

A Sagittarius Moon will renew your sense of adventure, and you could have the desire to pick something (no matter how big or small) and just go for it. Sagittarius loves the idea of traveling and expanding their horizon. This can be something physical like traveling to a faraway place, or taking their mind on a trip with an education pursuit. Don’t be surprised if you have the urge to register for that class you’ve been thinking about taking, or if you decide to book a last-minute vacation during this transit.

New Moon in Sagittarius

New Moons are a time of new beginnings and new emotional cycles. The Sagittarius New Moon asks us to plant the seeds of optimism. This is when we allow ourselves to leave the painful parts of our pasts behind so we can visualize a bigger and brighter future. This idealistic outlook doesn’t match the realities of everyone’s life. Many people are suffering in economic, emotional, physical, and spiritual ways. It’s not difficult to find areas of frustration and fear inside us and in the environment around us. The Sagittarius New Moon offers you hope, and all the wonderful things that hope brings. Instead of seeing a situation as it is, you will be able to imagine what your situation could be.

Full Moon in Sagittarius

Unlike the New Moon, which is about starting something new, the Full Moon is about reflecting on what we planted six months ago, and how it’s coming to fruition. It urges us to consider what’s next. This is an interesting time because the Moon in far-seeing Sagittarius opposes the Sun in nearsighted Gemini. Gemini is concerned with things that are nearby while Sagittarius wants us to contemplate what’s on the distant horizon. We might be overwhelmed with ideas and information, but the Sagittarius Full Moon helps us focus our attention on long-term goals and higher principles rather than getting lost in a flood of small details.


Tarot.com is Part of Zappallas USA © 2019

Your Ogham Reading for the Week of March 25

Your Ogham Reading for the Week of March 25



While it also may have thorns, Gorse is known for a vibrant yellow flower that can last almost year round. For this reason this plant has become a symbol of vitality. It may be hardy and have some thorns but it protects wildlife and shines bright for everyone to see. When you draw this letter keep in mind optimism, positivity, and vigor. With Onn you will prevail as long as you keep your flower in bloom!

Fortune – This Ogham tells you that you will prevail! Stay happy and optimistic and everything you seek will turn out great!





The beauty of heather flowers is one reason it is associated with the Irish Goddess of love, fertility, and new growth. Be happy when you draw this letter because it denotes love, companionship, and passion. Whether it will be a new love or an old love rekindled, Ura is a powerful symbol and one that may bring great luck in your love life.

Fortune – This Ogham deals in matters of Love. Whether it is new love or rekindling of old love, enjoy the peace and love that comes with Ura!





Aspens grow in large colonies, with the root system potentially up to 10,000’s of years old. This tree can survive fires and other harmful conditions. Often this letter can be associated with death and the fear that comes from it. However it is better to see it for what the aspen really is. When one dies another aspen grows from the same root system. Death is not always a negative aspect of life; sometimes it is a necessary transition. The letter Edhadh will force us to look inward for what we need to “let die,” so we can renew ourselves.

Fortune – A large part of your life will be gone, yet do not worry because another great part will stop. Edhadh never closes one door without opening another!




Trusted Tarot

Your Daily Witches Rune for March 25th is The Birds

Daily Witches Rune

The Birds

Keywords: Unexpected news, change.

Meanings: The Birds Rune means some unexpected news that may alter your life completely, especially if this is the leading rune. Generally, the news will lead to a positive change but pay close attention to the nearest runes to determine its nature. It can also mean news of friends or family that you haven’t had contact with in quite a while. Letters and documents should be watched for as they may well bring happiness

Your Daily Rune for March 25th is Inguz


“Only when we know our solitude to be different from our loneliness
can we be whole enough to honor another’s place.”

Inguz – “Ing-guz” – Literally: “Seed” or “The god, Ing” – Esoteric: Process, space

Rune of isolation or separation in order to create a space or place where the process of transformation into higher states of being can occur. Rune of gestation and internal growth.

Psi: internal growth, personal development, the power of suggestion, the inner-child, wholeness

Energy: earth-god, stored energy, gestation process, male mysteries, subtlety, planned bursts

Mundane: male sexuality, agriculture

Divinations: Resting, gestation, internal growth, expectation, time for oneself; or impotence, scattering, movement without change, frivolity, immaturity.


  • Storage and transformation of power for ritual use.
  • Stored Energy
  • Passive meditation and centering of energy and thought
  • Sudden release of energy
  • All forms of subtle, creative action

Tarot 101: Shattering the Myths of Tarot

Tarot 101: Shattering the Myths of Tarot

Learn the truth about this amazing tool


Does the Tarot seems intimidating? Have you had a fear of getting readings? Unsure of what the Tarot does? Brigit Esselmont, founder of BiddyTarot.com, will help you demystify Tarot, busting some of the biggest myths about reading Tarot cards…

Myth 1: You have to be psychic to read Tarot

Many people will have you believe that you have to be psychic to read Tarot. That is, to be a good Tarot reader, you have to have some sort of supernatural power that allows you to see into the future, know what people are thinking, or receive messages from the spirit world.

The truth is: You don’t have to be psychic to be a good Tarot reader. In fact, anyone can learn to read Tarot — including you. All you need to do is say yes to your intuition.

We are all intuitive beings. Every one of us. But many people have shut down their intuition, refusing to listen to their inner voice. They downplay the intuitive flashes they get and pass them off as a silly feeling that means nothing. Instead, say “yes” to those random, unexplainable messages you might receive that help you to navigate your life’s path. Say “yes” to going with your heart, not just your head.

Myth 2: Tarot will tell you your future

This one isn’t completely a myth, but it isn’t exactly the whole truth either… Many people see the Tarot as a fortunetelling tool. And, not only that, they believe that whatever the Tarot says will happen in the future, will happen, no matter what. Some people are so afraid of having their cards read because they worry that if they do, something bad will happen as a result.

The truth is: Tarot can tell you about not just your future, but also your past and your present. Understanding the past helps you discover the key lessons you’ve learned along your path so that you can make better decisions in the future. And understanding the present helps you discover what’s happening for you right now.

The future is not set in stone. Yes, the Tarot can predict the future — but “predict” is the key word here. It means that the Tarot can show you where you are headed based on where you are now. Don’t like where you’re headed? Then you can make changes right now to reshape your future! It all comes down to your free will and your ability to make choices.

Long story short: Tarot helps you understand your past and present to enable you to make good, positive choices that will shape your future. The future is in your hands and it’s yours to create.

Myth 3: Tarot is mysterious and complex

Look up “Tarot reader” on the internet and you’ll be met with images of mysterious-looking women in bohemian clothes, peering into a crystal ball, foretelling the future. This is not an accurate representation of what a Tarot reader is really like!

The truth is: People from ALL walks of life read Tarot — office workers, teachers, coaches, therapists, lawyers, executives, nurses — you name it. Just ordinary, normal people who have learned how to use the Tarot cards to connect with their intuition and navigate life’s challenges.

Tarot doesn’t have to be mysterious and complex. Tarot can be simple, fun and easy to learn. Anyone can do it, including you!


Tarot.com is Part of Zappallas USA © 2019

Shuffling the Cards, Your Daily Influences for March 25th

Your Daily Influences for March 25th


Tarot Influence


You are using your time well. Your knowledge and wisdom are increasing. You may live to see a very ripe old age, or possibly you are developing a relationship or passion that will be long lasting. While this card does represent the solitary pursuit of wisdom, it does not mean your life will be a lonely one.




Astrological Influence


With Scorpio come victory through a forceful inner drive. Scorpio also denotes a high level of sensuality.



Element Influence

Earth Reversed

Earth reversed denotes a lack of positive connection with the life spirit–a lost soul. If you are not careful you may miss much of what life has to offer you.


Daily Erotic Tarot Card for March 25 is The Emperor

Daily Erotic Tarot Card for the Day

The Emperor










The Emperor card has selected you to let you know that you sow seeds of better things and more fulfilling times ahead. Give yourself permission to reach out for more, especially if you are dissatisfied. You create a solid foundation, built on a sense of higher purpose. If your current relationship suffers from stress, today let tender actions reveal what you may be unable to put into words. Rebuild, from the ground up.

Your Daily Tarot Love Card for March 25th is The Lovers

Daily Tarot Love Card for the Day

The Lovers









Keywords: choice, decision, love, communication, inspiration (ideas from above)!

Astrological Correspondence: Gemini

The Lovers card is representative not only of crucial life choices, but also of lovers, couples, and other partnerships, like business partners, siblings, and friends. The angel between a woman and a man, depicted on this card, symbolizes the struggle of deciding to follow one’s heart versus one’s temptation or obligation. The Lovers card symbolizes the choices that must be made to progress toward higher self-awareness; choices also reflect emotional values, indecisiveness, hesitation, and our fears about making wrong choices. This applies not only to love relationships – it is applicable to any relationship in which people are drawn together, even a casual one. It’s the card of uncertainty!