A Little Humor for Your Day – How To Be A Big Success On Pagan Online Groups

How To Be A Big Success On Pagan Online Groups

  1. Never go for the simple direct honest approach. Who you really are will never impress anyone.
  2. Always favor the magickal angle over the mundane– at least where benefit to you & detriment to your opponents are concerned.
  3. Don’t accept any mainstream knowledge/beliefs except as they support your magickal beliefs.
  4. Never answer a question directly. Change the focus whenever possible.
  5. When asked for proof/evidence, demand that your claims be disproved instead.
  6. Use as much incomprehensible arcane jargon as possible. Alternately, use as much scientific sounding jargon as possible.
  7. When all else fails, change the subject. If others remain on topic, badger them & accuse them of evading the real issue.
  8. Make ad hominum attacks. Accuse others of tasteless or unethical or illegal behavior. Make tasteless jokes at their expense even if you are accusing them of tasteless behavior. If they remain on topic, up the ante. If they react, change the topic to their anger. Accuse them of provoking you or of having no sense of humor.
  9. Claim that your detractors are close-minded, intolerant, afraid.
  10. When your position seems hopeless, everyone is laughing at you & you have no credibility, threaten everyone within reach with a lawsuit.
  11. Open accounts under other names & post messages of agreement with yourself. This will help you to appear to have support.
  12. Remind your detractors that you’ve handed over all of the information you’ve collected on them to an attorney/agency of the government/whatever. Mention that their day of reckoning is just around the corner.
  13. Assert that anyone who does not immediately agree with you is intellectually            deficient/ magickally incompetent/ethically impaired.
  14. Invent impressive-sounding magickal accomplishments for yourself. Mention them often, but only in passing.
  15. Create an intellectual life. You are writing/have written an important book on the subject; you are pursuing/have completed vital research in the field. If you have an academic degree, flaunt it. If not, lie.
  16. Claim that there is no evidence that you are a fraud, liar, troll. Ignore any actual proof or insist that it was taken out of context etc.
  17. Dig out references which support your position. Complain when someone presents a counter-reference. Insist that this means that they are mindless drones incapable of independent thought. Ignore the contradiction.
  18. Remember when describing your position to start with an assumption or supposition. By the time that you get to the third or fourth point you can refer to it as a fact. Most will never notice & you win.
  19. Post more agreement from your ‘supporters’.
  20. Insist that any problem which you may experience in any communications medium, but especially on the internet, is just another example of the conspiracy to silence you & the truth.

    — © 1999, R. A. Vosburg


Turok’s Cabana